The Equestria Chronicles: The Gallop Through Griffonia

by Slippin_Sweetie


What Will We Do With A Drunken Sailor?

It was an hour in, and the drinks hadn't stopped yet. Liquor, beer, cider, anything and everything that was on the ship that had some form of alcohol in it, Shanty and Pinkie were drinking through it like a pony lost in the desert. Twilight knew that Pinkie could pack away a few ciders, but she had no idea how capable the party pony was. It didn't even seem like she was fazed by the alcohol!

"Hic! Are you ready to give up yet?" Pinkie grinned, hiccuping and jumping up in her chair. She had a hoof around a large mug; Twilight wasn't sure what it was at this point, perhaps rum. "'Cause yer' ole Aunty Pinkie can keep going!!"

"C'mon, Pinkie!!" Rainbow Dash cheered from the side, pumping her hoof in the air, "Show that little lamb who's the boss around here!"

"J-Just don't drink too much; you'll get sick!" Fluttershy called softly, holding her hooves to her muzzle, stunned at the volume they had consumed so far.

Trixie, who was standing in the corner of the mess hall, grimacing in disgust and nausea at the simple idea of drinking so much, especially with the ship rocking like this. Closing her eyes, she set a hoof on Thorax's shoulder, trying to steady herself. "No, you can't have any."

Shanty cleared her mug of rum, wiping her maul and smacking her lips, "Ye think it's my first bender with something on the line!?" she'd slam her hooves on the table.

"More rum, boys!" she barked as more kegs of beer, rum, and cider were dragged into the hall.

Shanty quickly filled her mug as she glugged the foul-smelling drink down before letting out a huff pounding her gut with her hoof, "Aye!"

"Bring it on!! I'll take a cider!" Pinkie grinned, "Oh, I really wish we had some of my Dad's ole Rock Whiskey! Ooooh, that'd knock us both on our flanks, hehe!"

Twilight grimaced, trying to wrap her mind around how you could make alcohol out of stone and sediment. Using her magic, the alicorn handed Pinkie another mug full of cider, preparing several more drinks ahead of time.

"Think I could get one?" Rainbow elbowed the princess.

Twilight rolled her eyes, "Can you handle one mug of hard cider?" 

"Yeeeees." Rainbow begged, "Please?"

"Fine." Twilight sighed, handing her a mug as well.

"How m-much more do you think they can take?" Fluttershy asked, turning to Applejack.

"This is the most disgusting display of gluttony and greed I have ever laid my eyes upon….all things considered…. I'm willing to bet a few kegs til one of them drops….hopin' it's Shanty." Applejack tugged her mane anxiously before swatting the mug of hard cider from Rainbow's hooves.

"You can't handle yourself on this stuff, Twilight; give her the regular batch." huffed Applejack.

Rainbow Dash threw up her hooves, "Oh, COME ON! I hardly ever get this stuff, just this ONE time…."

"Sorry, Dash, but AJ's right… and that one was watered down a bit anyways." Twilight gave her a shrug and a playful smile.

Shanty would shove the mug away before picking up a keg and chugging the booze straight from the barrel.

Pinkie Pie narrowed her gaze before stamping a hoof on the round wooden table, "Twilight!! More barrels."

The alicorn sighed, reduced to little more than a hostess at a bar. Lighting up her horn, Twilight deposited three barrels onto the table.

Lying down on her back, Pinkie opened her mouth as wide as possible, gesturing to the kegs and pointing a hoof at the taps. Twilight's eyes widened as she realized what Pinkie wanted her to do. Could she really handle THAT much?

"Oh yeah, Pinks, don't stop til' you drop!" Dash flew over, pressing down all three taps, a concoction of all three types of alcohol at once. Twilight watched in horror and fascination as the earth pony's seemingly endless stomach took every last drop down her gullet.

Shanty glanced as she slowly put the barrel down, watching in a mix of shock and intrigue at the sight of Pinkie devouring the sheer amount of alcohol. Bowing her head, she knew she couldn't beat that.

"Aye… I forfeit…" she mumbled, drumming her hooves on the table.

"WOOOOHOOO!!!" Rainbow cried, lifting into the air. "Take THAT, Mary's little Lamb!"

"Oh boy…" Pinkie sat up groggily, getting up to her hooves. "I feel… jiggly. And wiggly. HIC! Does anyone have any sugar? I need sugar!"

"Well, Shanty owes us a resupply, so let's see if she can't help us out." Twilight stepped forward, looking at Shanty.

"Oh good, I'm really hungry…." Pinkie stumbled over, nearly falling on top of Applejack, "Hehehe, AJ, if you're an apple, why are you orange?" Fluttershy couldn't help but giggle.

Applejack rolled her eyes.

Shanty sighed, "Fine, but you're only getting whatcha need, not what you want, you prissy missy!" 

The pirate crew would fan out, quickly withdrawing from the ship. Running up to the deck, Shanty was scooped up in the claws of her Griffin crewmates and taken away. The other creatures followed behind, watching closely.

A few minutes later, a few crates of supplies were catapulted over, crashing into the deck as the massive gunboat sailed away. The creatures aboard flinched as wood splintered and shot everywhere.

"I'LL GETCHA NEXT TIME, THOUGH, PINKIE PIE! THEN ALL OF YAH'S WILL KNOW THE NAME SHANTY!" roared the lamb.

Pinkie ran to the edge of the deck, Fluttershy zipping forward to ensure she didn't fall over. "BUT WE ALREADY KNOW YOUR NAME; IT'S SHANTY!! OH, AND BYEEEEE!!"

Twilight let out a long sigh of relief, slumping to the floor and wiping a hoof across her brow. "That was… anxiety-inducing. Is everypony alright? Are you okay, Pinkie?"

"Never better, purple smart; ooooh, when did you get your wings again?" The pink mare stumbled over, nearly falling into the princess. Twilight caught her, letting out a small grunt.

Rolling her eyes, she gestured to the girls. "Can somepony get her to the wagons? She needs to lie down… and get her a bucket and some water."

"I'll fetch the water." Fluttershy offered, trotting down to the mess hall.


Starlight tended to the injured with Fluttershy; even if they had won their freedom and a trivial amount of supplies, many were dealing with their fair share of genuine pain and injury.

Captain Salty was one of them. The old sea captain having been cut across his side by a saber and needed to be stitched up, for example. Others needed musket balls fished out of them. Wounds needed to be cleaned and bandaged as well. It was a breeding ground for diseases and a potential illness outbreak. 

Starlight seemed to be in her natural element, however, tending to these wounded souls and practicing a modicum of medicine work from her time as leader of her village. They never had battles or combat, but she did have to handle deep wounds from glassmakers hurting themselves or foals taking a rough tumble into some brambles or bushes.

Fluttershy, despite treating animals, had more than enough experience to treat wounds on the harpy and griffin sailors. Their anatomy was familiar enough that she could reasonably work with them. The harpies were like the songbirds she had treated time and time again, and the griffins were much akin to domestic cats or the manticores she had famously assisted.

The two were alone, with the injured being put to rest by an alcohol-induced coma.

The gentle pegasus cooed at one of the griffin sailors, petting him behind the head like she would with the many eagles she took into her care.

"There there, it's out now," She set aside some tweezers, having removed a musket ball shard, "Do you think you can walk?"

The sailor nodded, a slight blush on his cheeks as he stood, wobbly making his way to the mess hall. Fluttershy stood up and smiled, trotting over to help the next patient, coincidentally right next to Starlight.

"Oooh, this is a deep wound… and you say you fell into the fish barrel? We're going to need to sterilize this…." Fluttershy murmured worriedly, "Starlight, you wouldn't happen to have a spell like that, w-would you?"

Usually, the pegasus wouldn't dare to speak to strangers so openly, but being distracted by her fear for the injured overrode any social anxiety she would have usually experienced. If Twilight wasn't busy tending to those on the other side of the deck, Fluttershy would have asked her for help.

Starlight turned over as she examined the harpy sailor, "That looks like another saber cut across the breast…" she shook her head, "Magic can only do so much, besides you want to encourage the body to heal itself naturally…."

Starlight trotted over, using her magic to pop a cork off of a rum bottle as she doused the harpy's wound in alcohol, the creature squawking loudly as his feathers ruffled up. Fluttershy winced at the sight, her ears flattening down to her skull.

"Estúpido! Are you trying to hurt me!?"

"I'm sorry. Do you want your deep flesh wound to become infected? No? That's what I thought." scolded the mare as she turned to Fluttershy, "Pinch the contact area together, and I'll stitch him up."

"Oh my, can we at least give him something for the pain? Back at home, I had medication; I packed a small bag with me; maybe I can go find it?" The poor pegasus didn't want to see any more creatures in pain, especially if she was involved in inflicting it. She was starting to regret asking the mare for assistance.

Starlight rolled her eyes and stuffed the bottle into the harpy's beak as the sailor quickly chugged the beverage, "Trust me, we'd be out of medicine before we'd even make a dent into all these wounded sailors, besides their drinks are… familiar to them." she'd chuckle.

"Now pinch the skin together for me as best as you can." ordered Starlight.

"Oohhh…" Fluttershy gritted her teeth, "Oh, alright! Just m-make sure to sterilize the needle first." She looked up at the sailor, tears in her large eyes. "I'm so sorry; I hope this doesn't hurt too much!"

Placing her hooves on the harpy's chest, she did her best to pinch the skin together without hurting him too badly, her ears tightly pressed against her head as she clenched her eyes shut.

Starlight nodded, pressing the needle to a lit candle before she used needle and twine to work her magic, carefully working her way through feathers and flesh as she stitched the sailor back together.

The harpy squawked loudly as he clamped his beak shut, giving Fluttershy a small wink to put her at ease as he smashed his clenched fist against the bed, groaning loudly. The pegasus sniffled, trying not to let any more tears slip out.

Starlight quickly snapped the twine between her teeth, "There, finished… now to get through a dozen more sailors…" she sighed.

"I really hope we won't have to do that anymore…." Fluttershy gulped before turning to the sailor. "You should go lay down and rest, but first." The pegasus took a piece of fabric from her saddlebags, wrapping the wound and keeping pressure on it.

"You take care, okay?" Fluttershy waved the harpy away as he went down to the bunks. Turning around to face Starlight, the pegasus took a deep breath. 

"Well, there are three more harpies with slashes, but not nearly as bad. Two have musket wounds; a few were trampled in the commotion and need to be tended to." The pegasus listed off everycreature that she could remember, "And I think a few of them are suffering from scurvy…."

"Topical." Starlight replied flatly.

"I'm impressed you've been this much of a help, though, thank you." she'd quickly wiped her and Fluttershy's front hooves with a wet rag.

"Not much we can do besides clean and patch them up; as for the trampling victims, they probably need casts… as for scurvy… I actually have plenty of experience in that. They need potatoes, oranges, something with vitamin C."

"Oh, I think I might have some oranges in our storage; I could pass those out!" Fluttershy beamed, her head popping up. "Oh well, I've had to take care of injured animals before, I know it's not the same, but it's close enough."

"I'm not a doctor by any means either; I just have practical experience from running my old village," she'd sigh, "Summertime always meant patching up the fillies and foals who played too rough…."

"That's so sweet." The pegasus giggled.

"We should tend to the injured first before giving out treats, though…." The pegasus murmured, "Gosh, I hope Pinkie Pie will be okay. She drank far too much for any regular creature, even an earth pony."

Starlight scoffed, "I think she'll be fine after a nap… tell you what, I'll handle the rest of these sailors, and you take a load off."

Fluttershy looked taken aback by the offer, "Oh no, no, no, I couldn't let you do all of this work by yourself, and I couldn't stand to sit by while others are hurt! Please, let me help. I promise I won't get in the way."

"Well, I just didn't wanna upset you at the sight of… all of this." Starlight side-eyed the columns of wounded sailors behind her.

"But if you insist… we have a lot of work to do." she'd quickly grab a load of medical supplies with magic before turning to Fluttershy, "Let's get to work."