Fallout: Equestria - Wasteland Bouquet

by Cascadejackal

Chapter 10: Regret

---8 MONTHS AGO---

"Are you okay now, Lily?"

Lucky Break had managed to coax me back to my hotel room, and he had his hoof around my shoulders... It was meant to be comforting, but all it did was remind me of what we'd done, and what it had done to Rose...

"N-no..." I blew my nose with a hanky that Lucky had given me, trying to keep from sobbing too much. "I d-don't think I'll e-ever be okay again... Lucky... I h-hurt Rose... S-she'll never f-forgive me..."

"Lily... From what you told me, Rose needs you; You're her big sister, the most important pony in her life. I'm sure she'll come back on her own, and I'll even apologise to her myself." He seemed so sincere... But he didn't understand. Even after I'd cried my heart out to him, told him about her parents, the raiders, how she hadn't left my side for so long and my promise to look after her...

No. He didn't get it. How could he? Rose had hated him from the start, but I thought that it had just been because he was a colt... Really, it had been because I liked him as well; Had she been jealous? Afraid? I couldn't understand it myself, but I knew I'd never make the same mistake again... I'd find Rose, apologise, do anything and everything I could to make her forgive me...

But first, I had a decision to make... Not a hard one, though. In fact, it was the easiest decision I'd ever made: Was Lucky Break important enough to risk hurting my little sister even more?

The answer was a resounding 'No'.

"Lucky, I... I don't think we can be together anymore..." I blinked away my tears and looked at him; He was smiling sadly.

"I know, Lily... Your sister is more important to you than anypony, I can see that, and the last thing I want is to come between you two..."

"Thanks, Lucky." I wiped my eyes and smiled. Maybe he did understand... If only I'd paid more attention to Rose, talked to her about how I felt about Lucky Break, things might have turned out better...

"It's alright... We can still be friends, right?"

"Maybe... But I need to talk to Rose first..."

Lucky nodded, and smiled. "Of course. I'm sure they'll be back soon... Tomorrow, at the latest."

They didn't come back.

ONE WEEK LATER

"And that's what happened."

My parents stared at me in horror as I finished telling them about how I betrayed Rose, the state I'd found her and Ibis in, and how they'd ran off to get away from me. Lucky had left before I met my parents, since him being there would only have made things worse.

"Lily... You..." Dad shook his head, disgusted at what I'd done. "Where's this coltfriend of yours? I've got a few words for him."

"We split up, dad... After what it did to Rose, I don't think I'll ever look at another buck again..." I hung my head in shame, flinching when Magpie spoke.

"You'd better not, you little idiot." I didn't need to look up, I could feel her angry eyes boring into me. "Doing something like that... You're lucky my son only slapped you!"

"Can't you see Lily feels bad enough already?" My mum broke in. "She knows what she did, and you two aren't helping matters. Lily, do you know what way they went?"

I nodded, still not looking at my family or Magpie. "Y-yeah... I think they were headed for that little town near here..."

"Lily... We passed through there this morning, and we didn't see them..."

I looked up at my dad, fighting back tears. "M-maybe they were just inside or something, and you missed them? T-they l-looked like they were h-hurt when they r-ran off..." I started to sob, and mum hugged me.

"Honey, it's okay. I bet they're on their way back right now, and if they don't show up soon, we'll go find them, alright?"

I nodded dumbly, unable to talk, my heart ripped in two. Magpie was looking towards the road out of town, like she was ready to take off by herself and find her son. Dad was staring in the same direction, looking worried about his adopted daughter... my little sister...

TWO WEEKS LATER

Ibis and Rose still hadn't come back... I was in the back of the wagon as we rolled down the long and dusty road, headed for the most likely place we'd find them... The town they'd been running towards...

Magpie was circling above us, checking for any sign of them while we travelled. The town was only a few hours away, and dad said they could have easily made it on hoof... It wasn't very comforting... They'd looked really hurt, and anything could have happened to them since then... I blinked away my tears and looked at Rose's saddlebags; she'd left everything she owned behind...

Desperate to distract myself, I pulled the worn bags over and started sorting out the contents; Rose would have just blinked at me if she saw me doing it, and I managed a small chuckle. Somehow, she managed to find whatever she wanted in that mess. A stack of books and magazines, a half-empty bottle of whiskey, some old gum wrappers and boxes of bullets for her rifle, which was sitting on her duster beside me.

I found the wierd little toolkit she'd gotten at the market, and stared at it... Nope, still no idea what it was for. Funny-shaped sockets and pointy things, little clippy bits and things like that. They looked complicated and important, but the label was too faded for me to read. It would have to stay a mystery for now, or at least until I could ask Rose about it.

I packed all Rose's things back into her bags neatly; She'd be grumpy if I threw anything out, and I didn't want to upset her any more... With a small sniffle, I pulled my bag over instead. My pipbuck was still attached to the strap, and I hit the 'On' button for the radio, tuning it to DJ Pon-3.

"Hellooooo, Equestrian Wasteland! This is DJ Pon-3, your voice in the darkness! Or at least, the radiation. Haha...

Time for the news, children! You all know about Whispering Sands, the infamous city of ghosts, right? Well, a plucky little band of caravaneers recently went in, on a contract to find some gizmo from before the war. Now that's what I call having spirit! Haha!

All jokes aside, I've gotten word of things happening near there, and it looks like the gizmo our adventurous pals found may be at the heart of it all. So, stay clear of Whispering Sands and keep your eyes open, unless you wanna join the ghosts.

And now we've got Blue Eyes and his classic hit, A Long Night."

My jaw dropped, and I stared blankly at my pipbuck, the music playing in the background. Did... Did DJ Pon-3 just speak about us? I squealed happily, clapping my hooves together and getting a curious look from my mum. Rose would be so excited!

Rose... My excitement died. We had to find her first, then I could give her the good news... With a sigh, I settled down to watch the horizon and wait, quietly singing along with the radio as the lonely world crept by.

The first thing I did when we got to town was head for the doctor's office, while my parents and Magpie split up to look around. Rose and Ibis had been gone for almost three weeks, and I could only hope they hadn't been as hurt as they'd looked...

I found the right building quickly enough, the three butterflies on the sign really distinctive... Pretty, too. Pushing the door open, I went into the front room and found the doctor, a unicorn buck, doing some paperwork.

"Um... Excuse me..." The doctor looked up at me... He looked really tired...

"Yes? What is it, young lady? Are you hurt?"

"N-no... But some of my friends might be... Have you seen a big, grey griffin, and a white unicorn with red mane?"

The doc sighed and rubbed his temples with his hooves, frowning. "Yes, I've seen them... They were in quite a state when they came in... Half dead, both of them." My heart sank and I couldn't speak, my mouth just hanging open while I processed what I'd heard. Half dead? They couldn't be... "How they recovered so fast is beyond me... They left as soon as they were well enough. Against my advice, might I add."

My heart started beating again. "T-they're alive?" I stared at the doctor, praying to Celestia and Luna that I'd heard him right. He nodded.

"Oh yes, quite alive. They left a couple of weeks ago, but they didn't say where they were going, I'm afraid."

"Thank you so much!" Smiling, I turned and trotted away, leaving the doc to his paperwork. I had to tell my parents the good news! Rose was okay! Ibis, too... I guess Magpie would be happy to hear that, but Rose was more important!

I ran through town looking for my parents, filled with hope for the first time in weeks. Together, we'd be able to find my sister for sure!

When I found them, mum and dad insisted we spend the rest of the day asking around town for any clue where they might have gone, even though I wanted to just go out and find them already!

ONE MONTH LATER

"Lily, you need to eat something."

"I'm not hungry."

"You've barely eaten for days!"

"Don't care." I turned away from my mum and the plate of food she was trying to give me, staring at the twilight landscape before me. Had it always looked this dead, this lonely?

There was nothing moving out there, not even a hint of a breeze, the reds and browns of the still desert sands muted and faded under those low, oppressive clouds.

A month ago, I'd have been happy to look out over the endless desert wasteland, but we hadn't heard anything more than vague rumours of Rose and Ibis...

From what we'd heard, they never stayed in one place for long, moving from town to town, doing odd jobs to earn a living.

It was great that they were alive, but I just couldn't understand why they were moving around so much... Didn't they know we were looking for them?

...
What if... What if they were avoiding us? Avoiding me?

I blinked back my tears, telling myself I wouldn't cry. Maybe Rose just needed some time to recover...

That had to be it. I'd really hurt her, after all, and nopony would get over something like that so fast... Especially Rose...

It was getting harder and harder not to cry, thinking about my little sister out there, with just Ibis to protect her... At least he could be trusted, not like me... A stupid mare who couldn't even look after the pony that meant the most to her...

I shivered and went over to my bedroll, just at the edge of our campfires glow, pulling Rose's old duster over and burying my face in it, breathing in the smell of worn leather, dust and gun oil before wrapping it around myself to keep out the nighttime chill. It was the closest I could come to having Rose beside me...

My stomach growled, but I ignored it, watching the world slowly fade into darkness, hoping against hope that I'd see a white shape come trotting towards me, and unable to sleep for fear she'd come back while I was dreaming.

For almost a year, we continued on our usual rounds, my parents refusing to go off chasing every rumor we heard. Magpie agreed with them, saying that they'd be fine as long as Rose and Ibis were still together.

I didn't eat or sleep much for all those long months... Food seemed to have lost all taste and my dreams were so lonely... so empty... Mum spent a lot of her time fretting over me, saying I was losing too much weight, that I didn't look well... I didn't care.

I asked in every town we passed for news, rumors, even the smallest scrap of information about my sister, but there was nothing concrete enough to convince my parents we should abandon our caravan trail and find them...

In the back of my mind, I understood. The caravan was our livelihood, and there were ponies depending on the supplies we delivered, but Rose meant more to me than anypony else...

Then, one day, in a crowded bar, I overheard something that caught my interest.

TWO WEEKS AGO

"Didja hear the news? You know old Jungle, down in Little Fillydelphia? Well, he found himself a new fighter! Word is, she's gunning for the champ."

"Bullshit. Ain't nopony can take on Ironchops and live, let alone some mare."

"And I say she could do it. I was there last month, saw her fight! They call her Bloody Mane for a reason; that little unicorn is a monster!"

"A mare, and a unicorn? Now I know you're full of it."

"Um, excuse me?" I waved my hoof at the two bickering traders, getting their attention. "You wouldn't happen to be talking about a little white unicorn with a red mane, would you?"

The first trader, an earth pony buck, nodded.

I felt a small spark of hope. "Does she have grey eyes? And a black heart-shaped cutie mark?"

"Yep, that's Bloody Mane alright. You a fan, young lady?"

"N-no... I'm her sister..." The pair stared at me.

"Come off it, now. Ain't no way you could be Bloody Mane's sister. Everypony knows she's an only child; her family got eaten by manticores."

"I heard she was part griffin." A pony at the next table over butted in. "And that she's married to that big grey fella that's always beside her."

"Hah! She was raised by minotaurs! Any idiot could see that!"

"Prove it!"

"I saw her fight, and there ain't no way she could be that strong unless-"

I tuned out the rest of their argument; it was starting to get absurd and I'd already learned the important stuff.

Rose was alive, with Ibis, and they were staying in one place!

As fast as I could, I said thanks (they were too busy arguing to notice) and bolted out of the bar, searching for my parents. Now that I knew where they were, and that they were staying there instead of moving on, my parents had to see sense!

"But why not?!" I stomped, glaring at my dad. "Rose is okay! We even know where she is!"

"Lily, Little Fillydelphia is a long way away, especially when we've got contracts to fill and deliveries to make here. You know how important our caravan is."

"But dad-"

"But nothing. If your sister is really okay, and she's found a place to stay, then we'll go to her as soon as we can."

"But-"

"No, Lily. We're not dropping everything just to fix your mistake." My ears flattened and I winced. That hurt, and I deserved it. "Ibis is with her, and I'm sure he's looking after her just fine. Isn't that right, Magpie?"

The old griffin scratched her head with one talon. "Well... That worthless son of mine is sweet on Rose, so I don't think he'd let any harm come to her... And I taught him everything he knows about surviving out there, so they should be alright... I'd still like to see him, though. I've got a few words to say to him, for running off like that."

My eyes lit up and I turned back to my dad. "See? Magpie wants to go!"

There was a lot of arguing, and I cried a lot, but eventually we all came to an agreement. Since Magpie was still under contract to us as a guard, she'd take me to Little Fillydelphia to see Rose and Ibis.

We spent the next few days preparing for the long trip ahead. When we set out, I had both of my saddlebags full of supplies, with Rose's rifle and duster tucked into the straps. Magpie agreed to carry Rose's saddlebags for me, when I explained that the three things were all she had left of her parents.

It was going to be a long trip, almost a month, but it would be well worth it, just to see my little sister again.

NOW

I shifted uncomfortably, not liking the ruined, dirty town. Little Fillydelphia was nasty, smelly, full of junkies and crazy looking ponies, and worst of all... It felt like it was closing in on me.

Not as bad as Whispering Sands had been, with all those tall buildings (Magpie told me they were called skyscrapers), because the buildings here were only a couple of stories at most, but it didn't feel like a safe place.

If I didn't have Magpie with me, I was sure that something bad would have happened. Not that the old griffin was bothered by any of the stuff we saw; she barely glanced at a mugging, stepped over a junky who had just overdosed on something in an inhaler, and I had to trot to keep up with her.

"Alright, Lily. My son and your sister are meant to be at the Jungle Gym, right?" I nodded.

"Y-yeah... That's what I heard..." A gunshot rang out and I flinched, stepping closer to my feathery bodyguard. She looked down at me, amused.

"Oh, calm down. They've really cleaned this place up since the last time I was here, you know."

"Y-you've been here before?"

"Yeah. Years ago, before I retired. Now, let's find the place, and stay close."

Oh, I sure as hell didn't have any plans to go off alone. Shying away from a colt that leered at me, pus dripping from one nostril and down his mouthful of rotten teeth, I hurried to stay beside Magpie where it was safe.

We stopped at a street vendor to get directions to the Jungle Gym, and learned there was a big fight that night. Apparently, Bloody Mane (Rose, if I was right) was going to be fighting the champion, somepony called Ironchops. I couldn't understand why everypony seemed so excited about a stupid fight, or why Rose was fighting at all, but at least we knew where she'd be.

By afternoon, we'd found the gym, a prewar building made of cracked bricks, a big sign over the doors. Magpie lead the way inside, and I followed her closely. There was all sorts of stuff everywhere, from weight sets to work-out machines, but the centrepiece was a big boxing ring, with ponies dragging benches around it, setting up seating under the direction of a really short earth pony smoking a cigar...

He was swearing a lot.

"Excuse me..." With Magpie at my side, I trotted up to him. He stopped shouting long enough to look at us, then facehoofed.

"Another fucking unicorn with another fucking griffin. That's all I fucking need. Sorry kid, but if you're looking to fight you're out of luck. Tonight's the last bout of the season, and we're not looking for new fighters."

"Oh, um... I'm not a fighter... I'm looking for my sister... She's a white mare, with a red mane and a black heart cutie mark. Have you seen her?"

He stared at me, then shrugged. "Bloody Mane never said anything about a sister. Then again, she doesn't say much."

I wasn't surprised. "Well, Rose is shy..."

"You know her real name, huh? Guess you really are her sister; ain't many fuckers around here know that. You said you were looking for her?"

I nodded. "Yeah... Do you know where she is? It's really important that I find her..."

"Nope." My heart sank. "Her and that griffin of hers-"

"Ibis." Magpie butted in.

The stallion glared up at Magpie. "What?"

She glared straight back at him. "His name is Ibis, pony."

"Yeah yeah, fucking whatever. Like I was saying, they never said where they're staying. If it's really important, we've got a few tickets left for the fight tonight. You can talk to her after that, if she's still conscious."

Well, it was something at least. Me and Magpie bought our tickets and, after finding out the start time, wandered around town to see if we'd bump into Rose and Ibis. The whole time, I was wondering just what the short pony had meant by 'If Rose was still conscious'...

The fight couldn't be that bad, could it?

The sun was setting when we got back to the gym, turning the town into an urban nightmare lit by barrel fires and flickering streetlights. Dozens of filthy ponies were gathering at the building, more than I'd seen all day, and we had to fight our way through them to get inside. If it wasn't for Magpie, I would have been crushed.

"Lily!" Magpie tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to some empty seats, in the middle of the crowd. All the ringside ones were already filled with rabid looking ponies who were screaming and stamping, waiting impatiently for the fight to start. We struggled to get to our spots, barely sitting down before some lights over the ring came on, illuminating the announcer with their harsh glow.

"Fillies and Gentlecolts! Tonight, we have for you a fight for the ages! A show you will never forget! These two ponies have never met, never even seen each other, but tonight, before your very eyes, they will fight to see who is the stongest, the most fierce, and who deserves the belt the most! In the red corner, we have the defending champion, the undefeated pony of pulverising, IRONCHOPS!"

A huge stallion climbed into the ring, looking like a giant blue wall of muscle, and started stomping around, roaring to the crowd, getting them riled up. I had to flatten my ears to keep from going deaf, and even Magpie winced at the sudden increase in volume.

"And in the blue corner, the queen of carnage, the mare of mayhem... BLOODY MANE!!!"

A white unicorn jumped into the ring, and it took me a moment to recognise her. Her mane was shorter than it had been all those months ago and looked like it had been cut with a knife, but it was the same crimson mess I'd loved to play with. The way she moved was different as well, stronger, more confident.

There was no mistaking who she was though.

"Rose..." I whispered, my eyes going wide as I watched her approach the massive, monster sized pony without a trace of fear... If anything, she looked... eager...

"She's fighting that brute?" Magpie stared in disbelief as Rose and the big pony bumped hooves and went to opposite corners, eyes locked on each other, neither one speaking. "Lily, your sister is insane!"

I had to struggle to hear her. The crowd was going completely berserk now, and I started to yell so the old griffin could hear me, but just then a bell rang and the announcer dived out of the ring, barely avoiding the collision between Rose and the giant stallion. At that point, my brain almost shut down at the impossible scene before me. The blue stallion looked like he could have crushed me with one hoof, but Rose wasn't even blinking as he pummelled her, instead matching every one of his blows with one of her own for several long, brutal minutes.

Another bell rang and they seperated, going back to their corners like nothing had happened, not even breathing hard. "Holy fuck... Are you sure that's really Rose?" Magpie stared, wide-eyed, at the fighters and I nodded.

"Y-yeah... That's her alright... Isn't that Ibis behind her?" I pointed at where Rose was sitting, and the grey griffin leaning into the ring, trying to talk to her. She was ignoring him, so it had to be Ibis. Nobody else could get that close to her and still be ignored like that, after all.

Magpie tried to say something else, but the bell rung for the next round and the roaring crowd drowned her out.

I felt sick, but couldn't look away.

The crowd had fallen silent ages ago, and all anypony could hear now was the sickening thud of hooves against flesh as Rose and Ironchops collided time and time again, spitting out blood and trying to kill each other.

Sweat sheened on their coats, flying into the air in glittering sprays every time one of them landed a hit, catching the harsh light of the overheads above the ring like a rain of diamonds, only to fall with the spattered blood on the floor all too quickly.

They were moving slower than they had been at the start and each hit made them stagger, but the fire in their eyes was still burning strong enough that even I could see it. It was like nothing existed outside of the ring, their eyes fixed only on each other, not even blinking, lost in some horrible insanity that scared me.

Why? Why was Rose doing this? Why was everypony just watching them try to kill each other?! Good ponies weren't meant to fight, but every pony here had actually paid to come and see this!

I couldn't wrap my head around it, it all seemed so wrong!

How could anypony enjoy something so horrible and violent?

As the bell sounded to end the fifteenth round, I struggled to understand it all. Rose had always been a good pony, so why would she be fighting like this? This wasn't something a good pony would do! What had happened to my little sister?

"This is it." Magpie's voice snapped me back to reality, and I looked up at her.

"Huh?"

"When that bell rings, it's all over, Lily. I can feel it." The old grey griffin grinned, and I noticed most of the ponies around us had the same hungry, eager look she did. I shuddered and scooched closer to my bodyguard for protection, suddenly very afraid. The air felt like it was alive with silent anticipation and waiting violence, and I felt my eyes drawn back to the ring. Rose and Ironchops were staring at each other like a couple of predators ready for the kill.

Ponies shouldn't look like that. Not even in the worst places in the wasteland is there a reason ponies should look like that.
What had happened to us? Had ponies ever done things like this before the war? What would the Goddesses say if they saw us now, looking and acting like wild animals?

I was starting to feel really ashamed of what ponykind had turned into.

DING!

Rose and Ironchops stepped out of their corners, walking towards each other... Their walk turned into a charge, and they both raised a single hoof, time slowing to a crawl as they swung for the last time.

It felt like an eternity before, with a gut-twisting crunch of breaking bone that echoed through the silent gym, time returned to normal. Ironchops lay motionless on the the floor of the ring, and the announcer climbed in to check him, looking shocked beyond belief.

"A-and the winner is... BLOODY MANE!"

I whimpered and covered my ears with my hooves as the crowd exploded, screaming and cheering. Rose staggered to where the announcer was standing, in the middle of the ring. Ibis jumped into the ring as well and stood beside her, with the short stallion that liked to swear right behind him. "We have a new champion! Ironchops has been defeated! Bloody Mane, what do you have to say on this momentous occasion?!"

The announcer's horn glowed as he extended his voice spell to Rose, the crowd hushing quickly, eager to hear what the new champion had to say. My breath caught in my throat; after so long, I'd finally be able to hear my little sister's voice again!

Rose opened her mouth...

And sneezed, the magically amplified sound echoing all through-out the gym. A few ponies snickered, then I heard some chuckles, and soon everypony was laughing their heads off. After such a huge, horrible fight, all the tension suddenly drained out of the crowd. Rose just looked up at Ibis and he grinned at her, running his claw through her sweaty, soaked mane.

My jaw dropped. Rose was letting Ibis touch her.
What the hell had happened over the last few months?

After the match, everypony had to leave while they took care of the fighters and cleaned the ring.

I was glued to Magpie's side as we fought through the teeming mass of ponies that had gathered outside the gym. They were all talking about the fight, and I caught snippets of conversations as we shouldered our way through... Well, Magpie did all the shouldering. I just followed her.

"Bloody Mane is a monster! Did you see when-"

"There's no way it was rigged! I swear I heard Ironchops' jaw break and-"

"I told you she'd win! I saw her first fight and I just knew-"

"FUCK! I lost everything! How the fuck did the champ lose to that little-"

I didn't get to hear what the angry pony thought Rose was, because we finally got out of the crowd. "That was intense." Magpie stretched her wings and grinned. "Best fight I've seen in years!.. You okay, Lily? You look a little green."

We started walking, waiting for the crowd to thin out before trying to get back in and see Rose and Ibis. "I'm fine. Really... Um, Magpie?"

"What is it, kid?"

"Why did everypony enjoy the fight so much? It was horrible!"

The old griffin stared at me. "You're a wierd one, Lily. There's nothing better than a brawl to a griffin. Hell, most ponies enjoy it too. Gives you a chance to let off steam."

"I meant watching it!" I shuddered. "Every time they hit each other, I thought I was gonna throw up..."

Magpie chuckled. "You're too sensitive kid. Some people are just wired for violence, either seeing it or doing it. Ponies, griffins, minotaurs. Doesn't matter what you are."

"But Rose doesn't like fighting!"

"She seemed to like attacking Ibis. Remember?"

"I... She... That was different."

"Oh, really?" We'd stopped at a street vendor to get some food. I didn't feel like eating, but Magpie did. "How was it different?"

"It just was, okay!" I stomped my hoof and glared at her. She just chuckled.

"Okay, fine. Have it your way, kid. Why not have something to eat while we wait for the crowd to thin out?"

"I'm not hungry." Just then, I got a whiff of her roast iguana and my stomach rumbled. She raised her eyebrow and stared at me. "I said I'm not hungry, and that's that!"

Magpie shrugged and sat on a bench at the side of the road to eat her snack. I hopped up beside her, watching the crowd in front of the gym impatiently. The streetlights bathed the filthy ponies in their flickering, yellow light, and I really hoped Rose and Ibis would stay in the gym until we could talk to them.

About an hour passed before it was clear enough for us to get to the door.

Inside, the gym was pretty empty, with just a few ponies cleaning up all the litter and stuff left behind on the seats. A couple of ponies were trying to get the still-unconcious giant pony onto a stretcher. Secretely, I hoped he was alright. I didn't like seeing anypony getting hurt like that, no matter who they were.

I spotted the short pony coming out of a door at the back of the gym, and trotted over to him. "Um, my sister-"

He cut me off, waving his hoof at the door he'd just come out of. "In there." With that, he just walked past me, towards the huge pony. He was finally on the stretcher, and the medical ponies were trying to lift it without much success.

Turning to Magpie, I smiled nervously. "Should we just go in?"

She nodded, scowling. "Take all the time you want with Rose. I'm going to have a few words with my son." The old griffin pushed the door open and, after hesitating for a moment, I followed her into what turned out to be a locker room.

"Long time no see, son."

"Mom? What are you doing here?" Ibis was sitting on a bench next to a row of lockers, looking at Magpie in shock. Then his eyes turned to me and I flinched away from the disgust on his face. "Lily."

Right then, Magpie walked forwards and punched Ibis straight in the beak, sending him sprawling.

"The fuck, mom?!" He sat up and she hit him again. This time, he rolled to his feet and kept out of reach. The griffins glared at each other, and I stayed as still as I could. Angry griffins are scary.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Magpie yelled, her wings flaring. "Running off like that was irresponsible and idiotic! Worst of all, you broke your contract!"

"My contract?" Ibis laughed, but he didn't sound happy. "My contract was with Rose, mom. Not the caravan, and certainly not with her." He pointed at me and I backed up, frightened. "I stayed true to my contract, and I would have gone with Rose even if she didn't own me."

Magpie took a step towards him, scowling. "She only owned you for six months. You should have come back, Ibis. Not wandered around, like some freelancer."

"I'm no freelancer, mom. Rose still owns me. She never released me from my contract."

"You idiot!" The older griffin took another step forwards. "She doesn't have to! After six months, you were free! You know that!"

"I know."

"Then why didn't you come back to me?"

Ibis looked away, and I followed his gaze. Rose was on her back on a bench, waving her hooves in the air slowly and grinning. "Because Rose needs me, mom. I'm not going to abandon her, not after everything that's happened. She means too much for me to do that, contract or not."

Magpie sighed and closed the gap between them completely, only to lightly thump Ibis on the head with her fist. "You are just like your father. He was a sentimental idiot, too."

Ibis rubbed his head and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, mom."

The old griffin thumped him again. "I swear, you'll meet the same end he did, Ibis."

"There are worse ways to go, mom."

Ignoring the continuing griffin family drama, I walked carefully over to my sister. "Rose... It's me, Lily..." My voice low, I sat beside her, taking a good look at her. She looked rough. A bunch of little scars all over her belly and forelegs, her mane looked like it had been cut with a knife and it had... Was that one of Ibis' feathers, braided into it?

"Rose?" I waved my hoof in front of her face, but didn't get a response. Her eyes were huge and she just stared up at the ceiling, smiling and waving her hooves like she was trying to catch something.

"Don't bother." Ibis' voice startled me, and I turned around. The griffins were behind me, and it didn't look like they were going to fight anymore. "I gave her a couple doses of med-x. The only reason she's still awake right now is the adrenaline from the fight." He reached over and grabbed Rose's muzzle. She didn't seem to notice. "See? Dead to the world. Why are you here, anyway? Shouldn't you be with Lucky Break?"

"I uh..." I mumbled, looking at the ground.

"Well, speak up!" Ibis yelled at me suddenly. "What, you think you can ruin Rose's life, and then just waltz back in? Is that it?"

"NO!" I screamed at him, almost in tears. "I left Lucky! Rose is more important to me than anypony! If I could change what I did, I would, but I can't! All I can do is try and make it up to her!"

Ibis opened his beak to yell at me some more, but: "ENOUGH!" Magpie shouted, stepping between us. "Lily knows what she did, son. She's been beating herself up nonstop since you two ran off, and the little idiot's barely eaten or slept in months."

Ibis glared at me, and his eyes softened a little. "She does look pretty pathetic." He sighed. "Fine. Rose is out of it right now, but she should be lucid tomorrow. I'll let you speak to her then, but only on one condition."

"Anything!" I responded eagerly. "Anything at all, as long as I can talk to her."

"If Rose wants you to leave, you leave. Got it?"

I nodded. Rose wouldn't want me to leave. I was her big sister, after all. I couldn't bring myself to think any other way.

"Alright. There's only one hotel in town, that's where we're staying. Let me clean Rose up and get our things, and you can come with us. You might as well stay there too, but you're not sharing our room. Is that clear?" I nodded again. "Good."

I stared at myself in the small, stained mirror hanging over the sink. I looked terrible. Dark circles under my eyes, my mane was a mess, and I looked half starved. Maybe I should have listened to my mum and eaten and slept more...

Well, now that I had Rose back, I would!

I dunked my head into the sink and ran my hooves through my mane, trying to clean it. I had to look my best for my first real meeting with Rose... She didn't care about appearances, but I'd feel better knowing I looked like a real pony and not something that wandered in out of the desert.

When I looked into the mirror again, I sighed. At least I'd got some of the dirt out.

Magpie was waiting for me when I left the bathroom. "Ready?"

"Nearly. I'll just be a second." Using my magic, I folded up Rose's duster and stuck it in her saddlebags. Her rifle was holstered and tucked into the straps, and I floated the bundle alongside as I trotted to the door. "Okay, ready."

Into the hall, with its only-kinda-dirty carpet, and to the room next to ours. Magpie knocked on the door, and after a few seconds, we heard Ibis say "Come in."

Magpie walked straight in, but I hesitated, suddenly nervous. What if Rose really did want me to leave? No, I couldn't think like that. Steeling myself, I stepped in and saw Magpie and Ibis sitting at a small table, already talking. Rose was sitting on the bed, looking bored... The grey feather was still in her mane, too. "I told her you're here to see her, Lily."

"T-thanks, Ibis." The grey griffin went back to talking to his mother, and I trotted up to Rose, smiling nervously. "Um... Sorry it's been so long, sis..." She blinked. "Look, about what happened... I... I wanted to say I'm sorry and..." She just stared at me, those big grey eyes blank and unreadable. "Could you say something? Please?"

"Rose can't speak, Lily. She lost her voice." Ibis called out.

My ears flattened. "Was... was it..."

"It's not because of what you did. She lost it when we got blown up. The blast knocked me out and it scared her so bad, she can't talk any more."

Thwack!

"Want to run that by me again, son?" Magpie raised her claw again, and Ibis rubbed the side of his head, where she'd hit him. "Only this time, explain how you got blown up, and why."

"Gah, fine, mom! I'll tell you everything that's happened, okay?"

"You really can't talk?" I asked Rose quietly. She just blinked and stared at me blankly. Dread started to form, creeping around inside me. If she'd lost her voice, then what else could she have lost? "Rose... Do you know who I am?" She shrugged, and I felt my heart tear in two. "You don't remember? I'm your big sister, Lily! We're best friends! Don't you remember that big birthday party we had for you, when I gave that Elements of Harmony book? See? I've got it here! And your saddlebags, your duster, even your gun!" I pulled her stuff over and started emptying it onto the bed in front of her frantically. "Do you remember any of it?" Rose just sniffed at a few things, then started poking the gun with her hoof idly.

I leapt onto the bed, throwing my hooves around her neck and holding her tightly as I cried. Magpie and Ibis stopped talking to watch. "I'm so sorry, Rose! About Lucky Break, about hurting you like that, about everything! Please, please remember me! I promise I'll never do anything like that again! Just please forgive me!" She pulled away, her eyes wide and confused. I raised my hoof to her, sobbing, but she shook her head and hopped off the bed, walking towards the bathroom. Every few steps, she'd stagger and shake her head.

"Okay, that's enough for today." Ibis called out, then he stood and went to open the door. "Mom, can you take Lily back to her room? I think she's upset Rose enough for one day."

"C'mon, Lily." Magpie stood beside her son, and I wiped my eyes on my foreleg as Rose went into the bathroom to get away from me.

"O-okay..."

WHAM!

A loud, metallic thud had us all rushing to the bathroom, where we were met with a surprising sight.

Rose was sitting with her head on the edge of an old tin bathtub, one with a very large dent exactly where her forehead happened to be resting.

"Rose!" I rushed to her side and she turned her head to look at me, not lifting it from the dent.

"Why?" Her voice was sad, pained, eyes full of hurt. "Why did you do it, Lily?"

"I-"

"Rose, are you sure this is the right time?" Ibis broke in, stepping forwards and resting his claw on her back. "I mean, you just got your voice back, and I guess your memory, too... How much do you remember?"

"Everything, Ibis. Everything they did together. Everything he did to my sister." Her grey eyes stayed focused on my face. "Why, Lily? Why would you let him do that to you?"

"B-because... I didn't think... I didn't realise you'd feel it too... I promise I'll never do anything like that again, if... if you'll just forgive me..."

"Lily..." Rose raised her hoof and put it on my shoulder, then leaned forwards to hug me tightly. "I was so scared... It was like mama again... I couldn't do anything to stop the feelings..." She started to cry.

"I'm so sorry! I didn't think! I'll do anything I can to make it up to you, Rose! I promise!" I wrapped my hooves around her, crying myself.

After a little while, she sniffled and raised her head to look at me. "Lily, I... I know you really liked Lucky... and..."

"Rose, it's not important. I don't care about Lucky any more."

"No, Lily, this is important..." She pulled away from me. "I... I really love Ibis... More than you liked Lucky, but... I'm scared, even though I want to be with Ibis like you were with Lucky, and... can you teach me how to not be afraid? Please?"

Magpie raised an eyebrow at Ibis curiously, and he mouthed 'I'll explain later' to her. I smiled and giggled a little. "You're growing up, Rose. But I thought you didn't like males."

"I don't like colts. Ibis is a griffin."

"Okay... I'll try and teach you not to be scared of guys... But on one condition: Ibis," I glared at the grey griffin. "You tell me what the fuck you've been doing to my little sister!"

"Lily, don't swear. Good ponies don't swear." Rose scolded me, and we all smiled. Except for Rose; she was completely serious.

We spent the rest of the day listening to Rose and Ibis tell us about the months they'd spent alone. They stopped for me to go in the bathroom and throw up a couple of times, when they were telling us about how they almost died running away from me, and then what Rose did to the raiders that blew them up.

Magpie spent a lot of time hitting Ibis for being reckless or an idiot, and I tried to kill him when he told us (in very nonspecific terms) what he and Rose had done in Stable 77. The big feathery bastard wouldn't die, though, and Rose just giggled and watched us struggling with each other. Magpie faceclawed, saying something about never having grandchicks.

But at least Rose had forgiven me. I still swore to her, myself, Luna and Celestia that I would never have sex with a buck without getting Rose's permission first, though.

Oh, and we asked her why she'd slammed her head into the bathtub. Know what she said? "It seemed like a good idea, and it worked."

She still couldn't use magic, though. Ibis had explained that, along with her memory, she'd lost her magic after recovering from their fight. It killed me that she couldn't do her empath thing or use magic, but it didn't seem to bother her much.

I had a lot to feel guilty for... But I'd make it up to Rose, no matter how long it took.

"Are you sure?" I stared at Ibis, not fully convinced.

"We kept Rose up late last night, and I had to give her a shot of med-x to help with her concussion."

"That's what happens when you headbutt a bathtub..." I muttered, and Ibis chuckled.

"Yeah... She's still pretty out of it, and I want to get her some bullets for her rifle as a present. Look at how glad she is to have it back!" I looked past him to where Rose was dozing on the bed, her front hooves wrapped protectively around her precious gun, her duster being used as a blanket and her saddlebags for a pillow. It was pretty cute... "Mom agreed to look after her for us, so we can pick up some stuff while she's sleeping. I also wanted to talk to you in private."

I glared at him. "Oh, yes, Ibis. We'll be talking, all right. I'm still not finished with you."

He sighed. "I know, I know. So, is that a yes?"

I nodded. "Yeah... But I'm giving her a hug before we go." I trotted over to the bed and jumped up, snuggling my little sister happily. She smiled in her sleep and curled up even tighter around her gun. I watched her sleep for a moment, then went back to Ibis. "Let's be quick, okay? I don't want to leave her here too long." We waved to Magpie, who was reading a magazine at the table across from the bed, and left the hotel.

A couple of hours later, we returned. I had every packet of gum I could find in the entire town and some books that didn't seem too damaged, while Ibis had opted for bullets and a bottle of whiskey. We walked into the room to find a very agitated Magpie pacing back and forth, completely alone.

"Mom, where's Rose?"

Sleep slipped away, my dreams replaced by the waking world, and I reflected on the previous night. To have forgotten Lily was unthinkable. A good pony would never have done that, nor would they have run off.

I knew this, and yet I could not change the past. She had hurt me, albiet unintentionally, and I had hurt her. I had been a bad pony, and I would have to be extra good to make up for it.

There was no point in dwelling on it further, so I slowly opened one eye, wondering why my body responded so slowly. Then I remembered; Ibis had given me a dose of med-x to help me sleep, saying I had a concussion. Thankfully, it had almost worn off while I slept.

The room was well lit, so it must have been midday. Magpie was reading a magazine at the table, one I recognised from my collection. There was no sign of Lily or Ibis, and a small flash of panic gripped me before I raised my hoof, feeling for the feather I'd taken from Ibis and smiling when I found it, still braided into my mane. They'd be back. My big sister and boyfriend wouldn't leave me alone for long.

I'd be a good pony and wait right here for them.

I stretched a little under papa's old duster, my head on mama's bags. It reminded me of late nights, curled up against my papa with my head on mama's side, while they told me stories and read to me from my books. I missed them so much...

With a little sigh, I shut my eyes and tried to go back to sleep, knowing I'd see them in my dreams. They were always there, saying how proud they were that I was a good pony and giving me lots of hugs. It was nice.

Thud! Thud! Thud!

I opened my eyes again, woken by the sound of banging on the door. I couldn't have been asleep for more than an hour. The knocking continued, and I lay there for several minutes before wondering why Magpie wasn't answering it.

Raising my head, I quickly discovered why: I was alone in the bedroom, and the bathroom door was closed.

With a sigh, I slipped from my warm, comfortable spot on the bed. I didn't want to, but it was rude not to answer the door, especially when I didn't know who it was. It could have been important.

When I opened the door, there was a dirty young mare wearing a tattered old hat standing there. "Ohmigosh ohmigosh ohmigosh! It's really you! You're really Bloody Mane, aren't you?!" I nodded. Ibis had chosen my boxing name based on the color of my mane. It made sense, but conjured unpleasant images all the same. "This is so awesome!"

I just stared at her, waiting for her to get to the point.
It's impolite to interrupt when ponies are speaking, after all.

"Oh, right! I've got a message from Mr Jungle, he wants to meet you! He said it's urgent, and you should come right away!"

Jungle. The short pony that liked to swear and smoke. He was responsible for organising my fights in the ring. He had never come too close to me, though from respect or fear I could never tell. Had I been in full possession of my faculties, there would have been no doubt, but without my empathy he was as unreadable as all the other ponies of the wasteland. Only long association allowed me to read either Ibis or Lily with anything approaching ease.

I argued with myself for a moment, while the young mare stared at me, her eyes full of... awe? That was most likely, although I couldn't understand why. All I had done in this town was fight, and that was hardly praise-worthy.

Ibis and Lily might be back soon, and they'd be expecting me to still be here. Magpie would know what to do, but I didn't know how long she'd be in the bathroom.

"Isn't it impolite to keep somepony waiting? Leave them a note, it'll be fine."

The little voice in the back of my mind whispered to me, and that made the decision for me. The voice had never steered me wrong before, after all. I had a very smart conscience.

"One second, please." I smiled at the young mare, making sure to be polite. She seemed nice, after all. "I need to leave my friends a note, so they know where I am." I crossed the room to the bed, and pulled a scrap of paper and a pencil out of my saddlebags.

Gone to see Jungle. Urgent. Back soon. Rose.

Pleased that my mouthwriting was nice and neat, just like mama taught me, I stuck the note on the table. "Um..." The mare was fidgeting in the doorway. "Can I get your autograph? Please?" She smiled, and I nodded.

"Okay." Because she'd said please, I could hardly refuse. She was being a good little pony, after all. I signed another piece of paper as 'Whiskey Rose' and gave it to her, wondering why she seemed to like me so much.

"Whiskey Rose?" She looked at me, curious. I blinked at her.

"My name."

"You mean... your real name?!" She seemed excited, and I couldn't understand why. When I nodded that, yes, it was my real name, she squealed and tucked the paper safely into her hat. "Thank you so much, Miss Whiskey!"

"You're welcome. Now, Jungle asked to see me?"

She nodded frantically. "Uhuh! He asked me to take you straight to him!" I followed her as she trotted out of the hotel and set off across town, chattering the whole time. "See, he wants to meet you just outside of town, instead of at the gym. I thought it was wierd, but he paid extra for me to guide you personally, and it's so cool that I get to meet the Bloody Mane! Oh, I'm Jacknife, by the way."

"Nice to meet you, Jacknife." I smiled at her, watching the ponies on the streets out of the corner of my eye as we walked. They kept their distance, for some reason. I wished I still had my empathy; other ponies are so hard to understand.

"I saw your fight against Ironchops, and it was the coolest thing ever! You were all like Wham! Whack!" Jacknife was dancing around me, parodying a boxer. "And then, when you sneezed, I was like 'No way!' and I laughed so hard!"

I blushed a little. I hadn't meant to sneeze, I'd just had blood up my nose.

We kept walking, with Jacknife keeping up a running commentary as she re-enacted my fight with Ironchops, the large, strong pony. She seemed to enjoy adding adding her own flair to the story.

"And then he roared, and you just punched him in the guts! It was so cool! Um, Miss Whiskey, can I ask you a question?"

I nodded.

"How did you get so strong? What's your secret?" She stared at me with eyes I could only describe as 'Eager'. I thought about it for a moment before answering.

"Being a good pony."

"Huh? That's it?"

I nodded again. "Good ponies always win, Jacknife. Just be the best pony you can, and everything will turn out alright in the end."

"Wow... You're so cool, Miss Whiskey! I'll be the best pony ever, just you watch!"

We smiled at each other, chatting as we walked. Soon enough, we reached our destination, just outside of town.

Planks of wood and slabs of stone stuck up from the flat, raised area, several meters of wasteland and a barbed wire fence seperating it from the town proper. Here and there, I could see mounds of fresh dirt, like somepony had been digging.

"Jungle wanted to meet me in a graveyard?" I turned to Jacknife and she nodded rapidly.

"Uh huh! It's a wierd place to meet, isn't it? Well, Mr Jungle is over there," She raised her hoof and pointed. "And I've gotta get back to town. I've gotta run errands, and a good pony doesn't keep others waiting, right?" She grinned at me, and I smiled.

"That's right. Don't worry about me, I'll find my way back when I'm finished here."

"Okay, Miss Whiskey! Bye!" She took off, galloping back into town as I waved good bye.

"What a nice pony," I said to myself, as I turned and headed for where I could see Jungle. There was a very large pony next to him and, as I trotted up, I realized it was Ironchops. "Hello, Jungle."

The short pony looked... Surprised. "What, you can speak now?" I nodded. "Well, it doesn't matter... I'm really sorry about this, kid, but it was either you or me, and I like living more than I like you."

Before I could speak, Ironchops had slammed into me, roaring. I tried to brace myself, but something was wrong. He was much stronger and faster than he had been in the ring, and I was knocked over, dazed. I tried to stand, but he stomped on my legs, breaking them. The pain shot through me, but it didn't matter. The little voice in my head was screaming for me to stand up, escape, and that's what I tried to do. Ironchops stomped on my legs again, breaking them in different places, and then he started to stomp on the rest of me.

"Fuck, at least kill her clean!" Jungle looked away, and even I could see he was disgusted.

"Fuck you, Short Cunt! Shut your fucking mouth or I'll kill you too! This bitch'll get what she fucking deserves for what she fucking did to me!" The huge pony kept stomping on me, breaking everything he could. I tried to raise my head, and he stomped on that as well. My world exploded as I felt my horn shatter under his blows, and I could taste blood. More than mere bone was broken, but I kept trying to stand. It was futile, my body wouldn't respond.

Finally, Ironchops stepped away, panting. "Give me the knife, Short Cunt."

"No, I-" Jungle cowered, Ironchops looming above him like an angry titan. "It's in the bag!"

The giant pony reached into a sack and pulled out a rusted knife with his mouth. Grinning maniacally, he walked out of my view. Jungle just shook his head and turned away, sickened, as the first sharp pain tore through my flank.

Ironchops was cutting my cutie mark off.

He made it slow, agonising, digging into muscle and bone with the blunt, rusted blade, before throwing a large, ragged patch of my hide into the sack and turning back to me. Then, he began to cut and stab, killing me slowly.

The pain was excrutiating, yet my mind was clear through it all. Unable to move my broken, shattered body, all I could do was wonder what Ibis and Lily would think when they found out I wasn't in the room. I'd written that I'd be back soon, and now I wouldn't be back at all...

Something told me I should have felt sad, but I didn't. I just felt numb, concerned that they might think I was a bad pony for not coming back like I said I would...

Eventually, the cutting and stabbing stopped. The world had begun to fade, a grey fog creeping in over my senses as I felt myself being pushed into a hole in the ground.

"Bury her, Short Cunt, or you're fucking next."

As the dirt began to fall on my limp, torn and broken body, I wished that I'd had one more chance to hug Lily, or kiss Ibis.

Then, I died.

FOOTNOTE: LEVEL UP

A/N Wow, sorry about the long wait. This chapter was cursed! I had tons of health problems while I was writing it, and everything seemed to be getting in the way of finishing it.
No, this isn't the end. We've got a long road ahead of us before we reach that, believe me!
I'd like to thank KKat and Somber for being amazing inspirations, and Winter Storm and Midnight Stalker for always being there when I needed help in one way or another.