//------------------------------//
// Tartarus Tea Time 
// Story: Spike: The Unwilling God of Chaos 
// by Silver Butcher 
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Havok hummed a soft tune as he stood outside the front gates to Castle Chaos, His friends were all busy spending the day their way and he himself was doing the exact same thing, he had initially planned to invite Discord over for tea and ask how retirement was fairing for him, but being two creatures of chaos it had quickly turned into a little game of coming up with random excuses to ignore the tea talk and proceed to follow through with their lies blindly.
Discord had declared he was needed as a lawyer in Vanhooveer while Havok had announced he was late for tea in Tartarus. With Discord now defending an old mare who had been severely burned in an incident involving coffee well past the legal selling temperature, Havok was doing his best to look chill as he tried to build up enough energy to forcefully open a portal to the underworld. Havok could feel the pull of the underworld growing closer as he directed more of his power towards trying to find the entrance when a few old friends pulled up to the castle.
"Rarity," Havok cheered "Fluttershy, PInkie old girl, what brings you lot to my neck of the woods,"
"How's it hanging Havy," Pinkie greeted merrily "Just managed to convince Fluttershy and Rarity to come to join me in asking for your participation in what I think will be a great way to...alleviate some of the negative feelings between Chaos and Harmony.
"I have no hard feeling towards any of you," Havok defended "Willing to bet Rarity hates me though,"
"my...dislike is directed more towards your little friend Shade than you," Rarity informed Havok curtly.
"Ah," Havok nodded "So the other three all turned you down then?" Havok inquired.
"They wanted to come," Fluttershy said softly, "but they were more interested in snooping than trying to resolve the recent insults thrown at you," Havok slowly nodded before swiftly shaking his head.
"What insults," He asked in genuine confusion.
"Mostly the implications that you turned a bunch of helpless children into Chaos demons," Rarity said casually "Even though you've all made it clear more than once that some of those demons are older than you, along with the fact that they agreed to it while you where more thrown into this against your will,"
"My Gods," Havok took a step back as he gave the trio a look of disbelief "Someone actually took the time to listen to me for once," Havok snapped a Walkie talkie into existence and pressed one of five buttons on it.
"This is Shade reporting in," Shade's voice called back.
"Shade, Rarity just apologized to me for the way Twilight, Rainbow, and Applejack have been acting toward us," He informed.
"Oh," Shade's voice faded out and they could just barely hear her call out to Rot that she had won a bet "Alright O'Capatain, I'll turn the prank dial from ten to four next prank, Shade out,"
" 'K bye," Havok chucked the toy over his shoulder, it proceeded to explode into a shower of tiny crabs that all scuttled towards the Suit of Armor that called the moat its home, the crabs sat atop its head as it swam away from the group. The group watched the crabs go until Havok waved to get Pinkies attention.
"Oh right, the plan, We are here to invite team chaos to a Peace picnic, so that the elements of Harmony and you guys can get to know each other better," Havok scratched at his chin, slowly nodding.
"Alright, we can have it here, oh, and invite back-up harmony," Havok felt a sour taste in his mouth and looked to the ground where red cracks were beginning to perpetrate the dance floor beneath his feet. The elements all stepped away and Havok made a watch appear on his wrist. "Oh my look at the time, my ride to Tartarus is here,"
"Tartarus?" Rarity demanded, changing from slowly backing away to grabbing both Pinkie and Fluttershy with magic and rushing away from Havok.
"I'm late for tea," Havok said sweetly, knowing perfectly well that his statement explained nothing, the ground began breaking apart as an archway burst to life, the archway was nothing special and made of grass-covered stone. It was what was inside the arch that caught Havok's attention as Cerberus stared down at him in silence. "Tea?" Havok offered, Cerberus gave him several barks before stepping aside and allowing him access, "Sorry to plan a picnic and run girls," Havok said waving as he entered the arch, "But tea waits for no one," Havok calmly walked into Tatrtarous with and watched the exit close behind him, without bothering to check if he could return Havok looked around at where he had ended up and was greeted with the sight of two familiar faces locked in such a fierce argument that they had failed to notice Havok's arrival.
"I made it just for you," Cozy glow cheered as she presented Tirek with a rock sculpture of himself.
"I didn't want the last hundred why would I want that one," Tirek said irritably as he sat in his prison and chose to stare at the wall opposite Cozy.
"I managed to grab some of Cerberus claw clippings so this one has shiny black horns," Cozy countered, Without saying a word Havok walked up to Cozy and sat next to her prison, watching the two trapped villains exchange words.
"That is just disgusting," Tirek informed Cozy.
"But look at the detail," Cozy countered "It's almost a perfect replica of you, I even managed to give your scrawny little hands tiny boney-looking fingers,"
"I will destroy you one day," Tirek informed Cozy curtly.
"I filled down some of Cerberus claw filling and even gave you some hooves," Cozy declared proudly, visibly underused by Tireks refusal of her gift,"
"Still disgusting," Tirek said simply.
"Point out how well-crafted the beard is," Havok whispered to Cozy.
"Oh yeah, I made your beard with white stone, it matches you perfectly," Cozy smiled for a moment before blinking, as Tirek turned and she to turned her side, where Havok sat nodding.
"Hey he's looking at you, I think the beard sold it to him," Havok used all of his powers not to laugh at the bewildered expression on Cozy Glows face as he proceeded to slink his arm through her cell and offer her a purple Tea cup with a green liquid swirling inside of it that almost looked like fire. "Dragon Fire Tea?" He offered politely.
"Ok," Cozy said, visibly confused as she took the cup, Havok's arm stretched out and slunk into Tirek's cell, Tirek instant;y opened his mouth and began sucking in air, Havok felt an odd pull and realized Tirek was attempting to steal his magic to little avail.
"AH, I always wondered why you didn't just drain Discord dry," Havok chuckled as Tirek realized he had failed, "Your too weak to suckle at the teat of a God," Havok forced the tea into Tirek's hands and slunk his arm back out, "You have to start with unicorns that are too young, old, or just naturally have less magic to gain your power, that's gotta suck," Havok made himself a cup and drank some before looking to Cozy, who quickly followed suite, Havok could see plans and manipulations flashing in her eyes as she tried to figure out how to use him to escape.
"I'm assuming you don't remember me?" Havok asked calmly.
"Discord?" Tirek asked, visibly confused.
"Nah, that guy retired," Havok replied merrily "I'm the new God of Chaos, Havok,"
"Oh, that's a might imposing name," Cozy said, her voice just cutesy enough to make Havok smile.
"Now I know you're trying to play me," Havok chuckled "But your right," Havok happily sat there and let Cozy Glow shower him with praise.



"So," Cozy said after nearly an hour of constantly singing Havok's praise, Tirek having chosen to accept the Tea but return to ignoring Cozy and now Havok as well, "You mentioned I didn't remember you?"
"Ah don't worry about it," Havok said casually "Can't go giving you secrets until you owe me too much to even imagine betraying me," Havok took a long sip "Course can't go taking you and leaving your bestest friend Tirek can I?" a second Havok slid across the ground and landed in front of Tirek, laying on its side. "How about a trade?" Havok offered the Centaur "I give you enough power to make you buff again permanently, and in turn, I get your power to steal magic?"
"Like hell," Tirek said without hesitation.
"Well, then I have a counter-proposal," the second Havok said calmly "You're welcome to wait as long as you want to accept my deal, and in turn, I will personally make sure that for as long as you deny my generous offer, your remain in that cell regardless of what anyone or anything else does," Havok smiled as Tirek gritted his teeth "Your power for your freedom," Havok said calmly "I'll even let you be my personal Buttler, think about it, because that's all you can do," The Second Havok turned into a bell that was left within Tirek's reach "You ring that when you're ready to sell out," The Original Havok said happily before turning his attention back to Cozy.
"I will literally give you anything and everything," Cozy said without hesitation.
"Somehow I believe you mean that, but also don't think you'll follow through on it for very long," Havok replied calmly "Not yet at least, besides, I have to wait until Celestia is royally pissed off at me before I free you, my friend," Havok stuck his tongue out "But, while I can't free you from Tartarus, I can do this," Havok snapped and in the blink of an eye the two tiny cages where gone, in their place was a large fence, the fence separated Havok from Cozy and in turn separated her from Tirek, who also had his own fenced off area.
"The Fence itself is unpassable," Havok said simply "But hey, now you both have a futon inside a little half tent, a book series consisting of 6 books, and a lunch box that when opened will fill with random food every 3 hours," Havok took a sip of his tea before blinking "Oh, and those tea cups now refills themselves every half hour, think of a drink and it's yours," Cozy looked like she was about to have a heart attack at what was barely enough space to constitute being called a closet.
"Sorry but that's all I can do," Havok shrugged "Any more, and Celestia might notice, don't worry I've taken the liberty of bribing Cerberus into overlooking these changes, and should anyone else enter Tartarus these amenities will disappear, and turn back into the tiny cages...until said pony or creature leaves," Havok got up and brushed himself of "Welp this was fun, same time next week?" Havok waved goodbye to Cozy, who looked like she was going to cry as she lay down in the pathetic Futon that made Havok feel bad just by looking at it.
"Take your time Tirek," Havok called out merrily, having stored up enough energy to puncture a hole back out of Tartarus during the hour he had spent being praised by Cozy "You're both in Tartarus and can't age, and I'm an ageless god, we all have nothing but time," Havok open up the archway and found himself back at his castle, his team in the middle of what looked to be a desperate search.
"Any sign of him," Shade demanded as Rot Picked up a rock with one hoof and looked under it, "He's not gonna be hiding under a rock," Shade said, her mane billowing like flames while her eyes began glowing red.
"Wait," Rot's ears shot up "I can feel him! He's close,"
"Is he?" Havok asked as he stood next to Rot and looked out across the horizon, "He must be quite small or very green because all I see is forest," Shade immediately pounced on Havok as Rot looked like she was about to throw up. "OH," Havok laughed "you were looking for me?"
"Where did you go?" Shade demanded, nearly crying as she held onto Havok, "Your entire existence just disappeared, we couldn't teleport to you or contact you,"
"Makes sense," Havok nodded "I was in Tartarus,"
"How the fuck!?" Rot demand.
"I was having Tea with Cozy glow while systematically tormenting Tirek," Havok said calmly as he patted Shade's head.
"You son of a bitch," Storm called out as she shot through the air and skidded to a halt next to him "you nearly gave us a heart attack," Storm stopped for a moment "Well we thought Vile did have a heart attack when your aura ceased to exist, but now we're pretty sure he just fainted," Before Havok could respond to that a puddle of Ink materialized at his feet and Vile was tossed out of it before being quickly followed by Rust.
"You better have a dam good reason for just disappearing," Rust said angrily "I've been stuck dragging that idiot around for like an hour," Havok leaned down and poked Vile, who instantly shot awake at Havok's touch.
"I can feel him again!" He declared loudly.
"Relax," Havok laughed "I was just in Tartarous,"
"You died!?" Rust demanded.
"I don't think so," Havok replied, scratching his chin in thought "I wasn't planning on staying as long as I did but by Jove, I couldn't leave after seeing Cozy Glow in a cell barely as big as she was,"
"Who?" Rust asked, Vile was looking around, seemingly confused about why he was on the ground, while the other three members of Team Chaos frowned at Cozy's name,"
"Cozy Glow was a Filly we helped find her cutie mark," Rot explained to Rust simply
"She ended up being crazy evil thought," Shadow added.
"So evil she got herself thrown into Tartarus," Storm shook her head before eyeing Havok "She...eating well?"
"Up until I arrive I doubt she was eating anything other than rocks," Havok said flatly "I fixed that, and promised her that as soon as I was in a situation where Celestia was pissed at me, I was gonna break her our to just piss her off some more, 
Storm-sighted and casually walked up to Havok before lightly bonking him on the head "Next time you decided to go to literal Hell, just cause, tell someone!"
"I told Pinkie," Havok noted with a smug grin as the rest of his team took their turn giving him a bonk.