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// Step Five: Be the Odd Mare Out 
// Story: How to Forget Happiness 
// by LyraAlluse 
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Step Five: Be the Odd Mare Out


In the eighth grade make sure to have a teacher that absolutely hates you. You know the type; the ones that go out of their way to make you look like a complete idiot in front of the class. Or even better, the teachers that tell you that you’ll never amount to anything in life and you’ll do the world a favor by quitting school and becoming a janitor.

Or the ones that give everypony in the class an A except for you because your answers are too complex and well-thought-out. Or the ones that crucify you because you are too smart and somehow make them feel inadequate by comparison. Or the ones that teach an entire lesson to the class on how ill-mannered and barbaric you are compared to the rest of their students.

You’ve had plenty of experience with your elementary school teachers to know what I am talking about. If they don’t hate you to begin with, really work at making them despise your existence. For most circumstances, it won’t be hard. Teachers are always on the verge of hating you anyway. Really dig in there and go for the home run.

If they don’t like Seaquestria make sure to only submit papers on the topic of the seaponies all semester. If they’re general grumps, come into class stating how wonderful it is NOT to be them every day of the school year. I’m sure you can think of something to arouse their anger. Just think of it as its own reward. It will be one less pony you’ll have to worry about crying at your gravestone when you work up the courage to end your pathetic existence.

You’ll need to make sure that everypony in the classroom thinks you are the weird mare. There are many strategies you can employ in order to do this. You can wear your hair in a million braids and paint your face white. Every time the teacher calls on you, you can stand up from your chair with a start and yell, “It’s the Crystal Army Generals; they’ve advanced!” and sit down just as quickly as you stood up.

You can dress like an individual; not the spaghetti strap t-shirts that the other mares are wearing, but in gamer gear, head to toe. You can sport a Power Ponies t-shirt. You can wear headphones over your ears connected to a Gamepony DS that you wear around your neck. You can flaunt your unicorn knight character’s boots from Ogres & Oubliettes, even going as far as to wear them outside your jeans so others will take notice of them. Go for the whole shebang.

You can introduce yourself the first day of class as “Little Miss Goody Two-Shoes who always does her best to get straight A’s in school.” On top of that, you can introduce yourself as “a world-class tattle tale” to seal the deal. There is some caution I must draw attention to regarding this personality trait. You may invoke so much hatred in your classmates that they will find the urge to pound you into Dorito-sized pieces with their teenaged hooves.

I suggest (for your own health and safety) sticking with the “I’m creepy and I might eat your soul if you touch me,” fashion statement. That is if you do not want to die before you yourself have an opportunity to end your own miserable existence with one of your listed suicide methods. Dressing Goth most likely will do the trick.

Whenever someone tries to be your friend, pretend like you don’t speak Ponish. Or talk like the mare from Ponygeist; you know the one I’m referring to. Don’t hesitate to talk in a creepy ‘Pony of Shadows’ manner.