//------------------------------// // For Want of a War, Beta // Story: A minor variation // by notMurphy //------------------------------// Chapter 6, For Want of a War Beta *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Flipping through the publication, her brows flew wide, scrunched together, narrowed, and widened again. She growled, chuckled, gasped, and harumphed. 'How did she get that shot? I'm sure I didn't see a camera on her when I told her to back off...' Eventually Fluttershy looked back up at her gathered friends. They were each wearing a pale yellow earflap hat with pink yarn teased into an imitation of her mane. Jackie would later claim she heard the door opening before the magazine hit the floor. * *** * Clearing the door, she made to leap into the air and fly away before she did or said something she'd regret. The extra weight and strain on her tail was obvious the moment she felt it. Looking back to see a pink pony clamped on her tail, the weather pegasus rolled her eyes and took to wing, passenger and all. Dianne considered her position, figurative and literal. 'Well, here I am. I cannot speak while using my mouth to hold on, so I may have to wait until she- WHOA!' the pegasus flicked her passenger overhead, yellow catching pink on pony-back. "Now, " the passenger huffed, "I recall you mentioning that you were capable of such a feat last year during our little trouble. Any doubts that may have hidden in the corners of my mind are banished." the healer chuckled because it was more dignified than whimpering. "I... I'm sorry I did that just now. My need to get away doesn't give me the right to throw ponies around like that. It was just-" "A very poorly thought out idea on our part to surprise you with your newfound notoriety? I agree. You have little to apologize for. I will for myself and our four friends but once, as I find drawn out proceedings tiresome. Should you feel a need to express your distress, I would be inclined to listen, and only comment if asked to." Fluttershy remained silent for long enough that Dianne was assuming she wasn't going to talk. "...it all started during the big storm that became the Cloudboom..." ** * ** Rainbow's irises shrank to pinpricks, "Oh, my, gosh. I am a feather-brained idiot! I thought she was over... but after that stuff last fall... and now I've given out these hats to half of Ponyville... raaghh!" Throwing a knitted cotton hat provides very little relief, it has no heft, won't fly far, and makes almost no sound when it lands. Violent outburst having failed her, the blue pegasus turned to frantic action, grabbing boxes, empty saddlebags, and baskets and collecting them in the middle of the room. "So, Fluttershy ran off, Dianne disappeared - probably following 'shy, and Rainbow is throwing a fit. I'm not feeling very good about myself right now but I feel remarkably calm. Anypony else want to help me untangle this?" Twilight asked, walking toward her remaining two friends. "Seems 'ta me that we jumped the gun. Helping her get this whole mess under control is gonna' be the best way of saying 'sorry'." Jackie mused, scratching the back of her head. "Rare, that sound about right to you?" The unicorn in question jerked at the sound of her name, "Hrm? Oh, quite. A combination of keeping her shielded from the worst media attention and 'gentle conversation' with the ponies behind this will be just the thing." 'Ugh, when this is all sorted out I think I may need to start getting a teensy bit more sleep at night.' she turned to the racing pegasus, "RAINBOW DASH! Stop all that da- running about." When Dash didn't decelerate, the white unicorn snatched her up in a telekinetic field. "I do believe we could all use some fresh air, don't you?" *** ** The brown earth pony looked at the celery in his hoof. It hung limply and the edges were turning blue. He began chewing on it idly. 'And it looked like today was going to be such a pleasant day at first.' He glanced at the gray pegasus across the table from him. "Say, Derpy, would you fancy a picnic today? I know a lovely little spot." The blonde pony looked up, "Oh I couldn't, we're kind'a behind schedule at work. How about tomorrow?" the sound of gentle rain spattered against the windows and off the roof. "Huh... I didn't think there was any rain scheduled for the rest of the week." "It's chocolate" the brown pony set down the celery and examined the tablecloth with interest. "What is?" "The rain." 'He's going to do it again.' "You're not making any sense." "Chocolate milk to be more specific." 'It's different every time, I bet he thinks he's being creative - bastard.' "What are you..." Derpy looked out the window - tried to look out the window, which was streaked with viscous brown. Beyond she saw tall narrow shapes, all leg, running to a fro down the road. "Doctor, what is this? What's going on?" "Chaos, Derpy. Well, not exactly Chaos per se, but it's close enough for our purposes. I hate to say it, but there isn't really anything we can do to stop it - that's in other hooves than ours - it may last a day, two days, a week, probably not a thousand years." He shuddered involuntarily, "please, I'll ask you one more time, come away with me - just for a little while - it never ends well for you. We can pick up Dinky - school's probably called on account of flying pastries by now anyway." 'I can't stand it. Not this time, not this bloody time.' "Thank you for being worried about me, but I can't. You know that I'm not the kind of pony who could run out on her friends, family, or anypony who needed help. And I know you aren't either." "Of, of course not." He bit back the tears, the mad laughter, and the pit of despair. "Sorry for the moment of weakness, all better now," he made a showing of teeth in compensation for the lack of sincerity in his smile.'You're not going to have your way this time, you patchwork horror. I don't care what it takes, it's not happening this time.' "Shall we be off then?" ** *** "Whew, I don't care to see another sugary confection for as long as I live!" the orange pony groaned, sluicing more water into her chocolate milk soaked mane. 'Blasphemy!' 'Hush, there will be time for humor later.' "I think we can be proud of managing to corral those strange clouds in less than four hours." Fluttershy said, scrubbing her pinions a third time. "Ugh, this is sooo gross, I hate sticky stuff on my hooves!" Rainbow kept lifting her feet off the ground in a random shuffle, trying to find a pose where none of them were in contact with the ground. "I am concerned about the rampant mutation in smaller animals." Dianne turned to regard the … mostly white unicorn, "Rarity, are you certain the restoration spell you attempted had no effect whatsoever?" "Completely certain." 'And thank you so much for continually reminding me of yet another failure of mine today.' "that concerns me a great deal, in fact... " Rarity trailed off as a golden chariot pulled by armored pegasi descended from the sky to land in the clearing south of Sweet Apple Acres. "No rest for the wicked then, come on girls - hopefully this is where we receive some answers." * **** As the chariot touched down three fillies leapt to the ground and ran to the approaching mares. Rarity felt a pit in the bottom of her stomach when she saw her sister and two fast friends, and then became even worse as she recognized the signs of recent tears. It was clear what had happened, but now she would have to listen as it was explained to everypony's satisfaction. None of this helped her mood, although she put a smile on her face as she tried to convince her little sister that she wasn't responsible for unleashing an ancient monster of chaos and strife - 'no, that honor goes to me for thinking I could take an ancient spirit of immense power lightly. It feels like this day shall never end!' Princess Celestia was waiting for them when they reached the carriage. "It's Discord, the spirit of chaos and disha-" Rarity held up a hoof. "Number four on our list of threats. I assume you have the copy that disappeared from my sock drawer?" The solar alicorn spared a moment to grin, "Those were not my orders, but yes, the Director passed it along to me." She paused, "Tell me, will that poor agent's coat and mane ever go back to their original colors?" "Give it a month. The Elements?" "Where I'm taking you now." Celestia frowned, "I am only putting this burden on you six because we have no choice. Luna and I cannot bond with the Elements again." With that the Princess raised her wings as a flash of light replaced orchard with marble halls. "This is as close as I could take us, the rest of the way is warded, please hurry." ** * **** *** **** * ** They entered a long hall with ornate stained glass windows, displaying various scenes of strife and heroism in Equestria's history. Each pony glanced warily at the depiction of a Draconequus holding marionette sticks to make ponies below him dance, one more reminder of the price of failure. "I was wondering, Princess, how exactly did the two of you distribute the Elements between yourselves?" Twilight asked, the question had nagged her since learning the history of the artifact. The alicorn smiled as she placed her horn into a depression in the wall, "Keep the world from descending into bedlam and I will answer any questions you have." The wall opened in an arcane combination of unfolding and disappearance. "Now each of you take your..." "Princess, that's a nice box and all, but it's kinda'... empty." Dash pointed out. Her friends leaned in close to make sure the artifacts weren't hiding in the bottom of the box. "Impossible, this vault was sealed with a powerful spell that only I can break - this doesn't make sense." The Princess pondered, pacing and perplexed. Mocking laughter echoed up and down the hallway, a voice rang out seemingly from nowhere, "Make sense? Oh what fun is there in making sense?" the six friends instinctively circled, backs facing each other, to find the source of the mocking laughter. Celestia turned her head about, stamping a hoof in frustration, "Discord... show yourself!" Shadows flew across the stained glass as another gale of laughter spun around the assembled ponies, coming to rest on the now animate image of Discord, who took a bow. He spoke as he flitted between the panels, mocking the figures in each tableau. "Did you miss me, Celestia? I missed you. It's quite lonely being encased in stone," He came to rest upon the representation of the Elements in their previous form. Slouched against a pony praising the Pony Sisters, he sighed before turning to glare at the ruler of Equestria. "But you wouldn't know that, would you? Because I don't turn ponies into stone." He knocked upon the figure's head, the sound like a hammer on granite. "Eno-" The princess began. "Discord, the Spirit of Disharmony? Good evening, my name is Rarity Bell. As a member of the country and world of Equestria, I ask you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin, or to the next convenient parallel dimension." Every being present stared at Rarity. She didn't blink, waiting for the creature's reply. "Off script so soon my dear? I heartily approve. The dutiful assistant Professor Bell, representing the Spirit of Chance, if I'm not mistaken." His wide and toothy grin had a gap where another being would have their right canine. "Oh, is that what it's called? How appropriate, I have been a 'chancer' for quite some time." A yellow pegasus fluttered toward the rogue image, "You aren't the only exile to return to Equestria recently. Isn't there any way we can settle this peacefully?" Fluttershy looked at the image of Discord, searching for some redeeming quality. Discord circled the hall windows twice at high speed, "The incorruptible 'Hurricane' Fluttershy, bearer of the Element of Loyalty." His sneer belied the praise of his words, "Why am I not surprised you are the one trying to appeal to my better nature? Really, all I want to do is show everypony a good time." He gestured down the valley, toward Ponyville and the country beyond, almost in supplication, "What is life without a surprise or two? Unrelenting, static, in a word boooring." The banter grated on Twilights nerves, "You know who we are, congratulations. Where are the Elements of Harmony?" "Ever the faithful stu- err, the Elements? I've borrowed them for just a moment, Twilight Sparkle." the creature grinned as he stretched into one of the blank windows, yawning luxuriously. "Element of Honesty or whatever." he added. The two dimensional spirit of chaos reached over to pull one of his marionette ponies out of it's panel and play with it. "Why exactly are we talking to a tacky window dressing?" Dash grumbled. Discord looked up, casually tossing the puppet aside, "Well well well, Rainbow Dash, spirit of ... Generosity," he snickered, "how are you today my dear? Are all your shoes on securely - wouldn't want you to throw a nail now, would we?" He grinned as Rainbow's face paled. "A bully picks upon the perceived weaknesses of others to hide their own inadequacies." Dianne stepped between the blue pegasus and window. When Discord made to reply she interrupted him "Save your breath, I am Pinkamina Dianne Pie, bearer of the Element of Kindness, and not overly fond of the sound of your voice." "Excuse me, Discord, but... when do you get to the part with the chaos? Not that I particularly want you to wreck stuff, but frankly you've just been kinda' silly so far." Jackie asked, hoof raised as though it were a grade-school class discussion. Discord lowered his eyebrows, "Flying cotton candy clouds, rains of chocolate milk, rabbits and squirrels taller than you? Ring any bells?" He idly tapped the icon of the 'Bell of Starswirl' on one of the earlier panels, which produced an 'Ahwhoogah!' noise. "...and you made all th' apples on the trees grow real large. But what Ah'm gettin' at is: that's not Chaos." "Come again?" "Oh it's might jerky, and unexpected. I suppose that's kind of close, but from what I hear, Chaos is random, unpredictable-like. So far, all you've done is make corny jokes." She leaned in and raised an eyebrow, "Pop.Corn... really?" Discord crossed his arms, "Oh come on! Those are classics. Really, how did you end up as the Element of Laughter, miss Apple Jaques?" Celestia stepped forward again, "Stop stalling, Discord! What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?" The Draconequus swam over to their representations before replying, "Aand back to business as, "he made a gagging noise, "usual. Sooo boring." he expanded until only his upper torso and head were visible, raising his right paw with his index digit extended. "Fine, I'll tell you, but I'll only tell you my way." Reaching into the surrounding windows, he wove his arms back and forth in hypnotic patterns, "to retrieve your missing elements just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the elements back where you began." The creature vanished from the window, mocking laughter lingering for several seconds. **** * "Ah don't get it, how was that Chaotic? He just pranced around like a jerk." Jackie muttered. "Twists and turns... " Dianne muttered. "Oh, I don't know, how about the easily visible Labyrinth over there?" Rarity pointed out the window. "No." Twilight declared with a stamp. "He wasn't talking about being freed from the statue. He was talking about us, about our discovery of the Elements." The others nodded along. "So, the first time we all decided to go after them was after reading the Guide in Ponyville Library." Jackie mused. "You know he's not going to play fair." Fluttershy remarked, stretching her wings in anticipation of another long campaign. Rarity smiled in a way not at all reassuring, "Maybe not, but we have to take our cha... oh drat, now I'm going to feel self-conscious whenever I say that word now." "Twists and turns... I mislike the sound of that phrasing." Dianne worried at the riddle. "Twists and turns... master plan. Why would Chaos need a plan?" "Well, duh, to stop us Di." Dash quipped, "but we'll just be smarter and better prepared." "Rainbow, just how do you think we're going to prepare for the unexpected?" Jackie asked. "We'll just have to be ready for anything." the pegasus huffed. "Right now we should be getting ready to get back to Ponyville." Flutershy pondered. "That much at least I can help you with." Celestia drew the assembled ponies' attention to the courtyard, where a pegasus drawn chariot touched down. Technical Ponies unhitched the current crew and harnessed a second set of pegasi. Twilight looked at the vehicle, "Uh, Princess, why can't we just teleport back?" "Discord allowed us to come here so that he could show himself and taunt us. It is no longer safe to count upon anything you cannot view directly... " she shook her head, " and don't trust what you do see." The six ponies boarded the chariot and were flown aloft, leaving the Solar Princess alone in the courtyard. Well, almost alone. A white unicorn in golden armor raced out of the opposite hallway. "Twilight!" cried the captain of the guard. The chariot was just vanishing from view as he panted his way up to his sovereign. "I, huff, I don't understand Princess, why didn't you come get me? I could have helped." The look of confusion and hurt on her subject's face did nothing to quell Celestia's own worries. "I had you assigned to watch the opposite side of the castle because I knew that if you were present you'd have insisted on going with them-" "Of course I would have!" "I see, I was not briefed on your specialized training against the influence of raw Chaos." "Training in what?" "Your loyalty to your family is admirable," she let him squirm for a moment before continuing, "but your company would only have distracted Twilight. Nopony is safe from Discord's mischief, and those six are only protected by their bonds of friendship." "But I can't just do nothing!" The unicorn pleaded. "Then believe in your sister. Let her be the champion today, trust in her." The Guard Captain wrestled with the idea for a moment before returning to decorum, "I... I'll try, your Majesty. But it's hard, it's so hard to see her like that - in my heart she's always going to be the filly with her nose in a book." "Your sister is and will be many ponies. Try to get to know and love them all." it wasn't clear who the princess was talking to. Shining took it as his dismissal and left the courtyard more quietly than he had entered. ** ** * Surely now she was alone. "I'm not going to look, Discord." "Growing up really made you into such a sourpuss, you know that?" "I am going to offer you one last chance to end all of this. Just walk away, I will allow you your personal freedom." "Celly, you don't start negotiations by offering the other party what they already have. I'm the spirit of Chaos and even I know that." "You're living on borrowed time right now. You're going to make them hate you, and they will defeat you." "Your little child soldiers?" the Draconequus snorted. "They are not children." The princess sighed, "not anymore. And they are not my anything." "Yeah, hard not to notice how well you get along with the white one." "Do you know why they're going to beat you, Discord?" "That isn't going to happen." "Because they have more heart than you." "Not if I have anything to say about it." The alicorn smiled, "Don't worry, you won't." "Oh I'm pretty sure you're wrong." "Want to bet on it?" "What? The scrupulous leader of the free nation of Equestria, indulging in gambling? You're on. What stakes?" "A four-layer chocolate and marzipan cake." "That's pretty random. Done." Discord pulled an hourglass out of nowhere. Celestia finally turned to look at him, eyed the clock and rolled her eyes. "Is it really necessary to this?" "It's for my own good, Celestia. Just think of it as a vacation... for the rest of your life." He flipped the top of the glass open, revealing it to be empty inside, and snatched a nearby portion of the Solar Princess's mane, pulling something like a transparent outline off her and pouring it into the glass, which was now full of sand. As he secured the top again he admired his handiwork: a fluffy white alicorn filly with bright pink mane and no cutie mark. "Don't worry my dear, I even included your speech impediment." The filly looked up at him in confusion, "I nevow had a speech impediment." "Oh? My mistake. Now you do." The Draconequus skated off, leaving bright sparks behind on the cobbles as his claws gouged the ground. * ** ** The Princess of the Night felt her world quake, bouncing with an insistence that threatened to throw her to and fro. 'A moment, I'm in bed what- a weight crashed into her, prompting the princess to leap out of the bed and to her feet, charging her horn she assessed the threat. 'What assassin could breach my private sanctum without alerting my wards?' A white head poked out from under the comforter, a shock of pink hair spilling out. Luna's eyes widened, "Sister? Who hast done," 'has' , I am supposed to say 'has' now., "this to you. Has Cronus been resurrected?" The frowning filly finished freeing herself, "Wowse, Discowd has escaped." 'For the love of Faust, please don't notice... ' The midnight mare burst out laughing as she scooped up her newly little sister, "I see he has given you an adorable speech pattern." "Woonaaa! We must be sewious now. Gweat pewil faces us... stop laughing and me!" "A-apologies, dearest sister." The younger-now-elder sister schooled her face, "so then we must again call upon Harmony to save Equestria. As such all we can do is maintain what little stability we can." Luna fought to keep a grin off her muzzle as she idly asked, "tell me sister, which one is the bearer of the sixth element?" Celestia cocked her eyebrow, "You know it's Wawity... it's not funny!" she stomped before giving up and joining her sister in a giggling fit. 'Oh please hurry, little ponies, or there may not be anything left for you to save. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ originally published Nov 7, 2012