//------------------------------// // Chapter 2: All the Time in the World // Story: Honorary Crusader // by Aklinstar //------------------------------// Scootaloo face-planted into the table, letting out a muffled groan. “Heya Scoots, ya gonna finish that?” Apple Bloom pointed at the partially nibbled pink-frosted sprinkled donut that sat in front of Scootaloo. Scootaloo, still face down on the table, slid her plate. “Thank ya kindly!” Just as she was about to take a bite, she noticed Sweetie Belle giving her a look. “What? Can’t just let this here donut go to waste if she doesn’ want it…” Sweetie Belle motioned her head over to Scootaloo a couple times. Apple Bloom, feeling a little guilty, dropped the donut and rubbed her leg. “Soooo, Scoots… What’s got ya feelin’ down? It wasn’t our fight in the garden, was it? Ah’m sorry if it was…” Scootaloo threw her head back. “Uhgggggg, no…” “Then what’s wrong?” Sweetie Belle inquired. “It’s just that… Rainbow Dash was going to show me this cool trick she’s been working on once we got back! She called it the, uh…” She scrunched her nose up. “‘Dunkinblaire Glaze?’ No… that’s not it. It’s called…” She looked up and tapped her chin. Apple Bloom started to tap on the table. “Scoots–” “I got it! She called it the Buccaneer Blaze!” she said as she slammed both her hooves onto the table with a big grin. Everyone at Donut Joe’s went silent.  “What’s that? Some lame new trick you came up with while on that lame two-wheeled two-by-four, blank flank?” asked a certain prissy pink pony filly. Some of the class erupted into a fit of giggles, others just sat awkwardly and continued nibbling on their tasty treats. Scootaloo blushed. “It’s not lame.” She slumped back into her stool. “And that’s not what I was talking about,” she mumbled. Apple Bloom jumped down from her seat and moved to the front of the table. Sweetie quickly followed. “Hey! Leave her alone, Diamond Tiara!” shouted Apple Bloom. “Oh, puh-lease, blank flank number two… you’d better be careful with what you say, or Miss Cheerilee is going to extend that little assignment she gave you all. What was it about again?”  Diamond Tiara glanced over at Silver Spoon. “I think it was something about discord or whatever,” Silver Spoon said as she sidled up to her.  “Oh, right! How’s that coming along by the way? Shouldn’t be that hard for you, considering how often you manage to get yourselves in trouble, not to mention how many times you all keep failing at–” Silver Spoon prodded her. “Diamond,” she hissed out. “What did I say about interrupting me, Silver Spoon? Ugh, what was I saying again? Ohh~ right! At this rate, you all are going to break some world record for Most Failed Attempts At Something. Maybe all your cutie marks will be matching broken recor–” Silver Spoon jabbed her a few times in quick succession. Diamond Tiara whirled on her and spoke through gritted teeth, “Silver. Spoon. What in Eques–” Diamond noticed she was biting her lip, visibly sweating, eyes shifting between her and something behind them several times. She looked around. “Oh.” Cheerilee, back from the restroom, raised an eyebrow. “M-m-miss Cheerilee! I was just saying how… how…” She bit her lip, eyes wide glancing between Cheerilee and Silver Spoon. Silver Spoon started sputtering, realizing Diamond Tiara was relying on her to come up with an excuse. “How… brave they are for trying soooo hard at getting their cutie marks! We’re just soooo, uh… jealous that they are able to come up with soooo many cool and interesting ways to get them, ha ha.”  Diamond Tiara facehoofed. Cheerilee shook her head and sighed. “Diamond Tiara, you’ve exemplified discord so well, that I’m going to have you write me an essay explaining it.” “But–” Cheerilee held a hoof out. She leaned in and whispered, “And if it’s written by your butler, I’ll know. Don’t think I can’t tell the difference, as much as you tried to hide it in your last essay. I was going to wait until after the trip to bring it up with you and your parents. I want that essay rewritten by you as well. Understood?” Diamond Tiara kept her eyes glued to the floor and nodded slowly. Cheerilee leaned back. “Good.” She looked at Silver Spoon. “And Silver Spoon? It's good to stand up for your friends, but not if it means you have to lie for them. I want you to write me an essay on dishonesty. Understood?” Silver Spoon, ears drooped, glanced at her friend for a moment before saying, “Yes, Miss Cheerilee…” Cheerilee nodded. “That’s all for now.” She looked over at a certain trio and gave them a small smile before turning around and heading back to her seat. Apple Bloom gave Diamond Tiara a smug look, while Sweetie Belle stuck her tongue out.  Diamond’s face twitched, and she bit her lip, a noticeable vein appeared on her forehead before she returned to her seat. Silver Spoon quickly followed, turning her head around to silently mouth “losers” as she went. “They’re just the worst,” Apple Bloom said, back in her stool with one hoof on her face. “At least they got caught this time,” Sweetie Belle asserted; her head tilted while looking to her right. She frowned. “Scoots, you never did finish saying what was eating you up.” Scootaloo had her head resting on her forelegs, she slowly blinked and looked up. “Yeah...” she pushed herself up. “So, Rainbow Dash was going to show me this cool trick when we got back, right?” They nodded.  “Well, now with that stupid essay, there won’t be time today!” Scootaloo crossed her forelegs and scowled. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle glanced at each other for a moment. “Well, what’s the big deal? Why don’tcha  just ask her to show ya tomorrow after school?” Apple Bloom reached for the donut Scootaloo passed to her, Sweetie Belle swatted her hoof and shoved the plate back to Scootaloo. Scootaloo rolled her eyes and tossed the donut into her mouth. “Be’us she’s go’na be”—Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom shielded their face from the onslaught of crumbs—“gone neth foo days.” She swallowed. “Scoots, number one: gross. Number two: can you run that by us again with your mouth not full?” Sweetie Belle grabbed a napkin and wiped off the crumbs that stuck to her coat. Scootaloo closed her eyes. “She’s going to be gone for the next few days, starting tomorrow. Said something about needing to attend an annual meeting in Cloudsdale to get ori... uh, oriii…“ “Origami?” “Uh, Sweetie Belle? Why would Rainbow Dash go to Cloudsdale for a few days to pick up fancy paper thingy-majiggies? Ah don’t think she’s into those…” Apple Bloom said as she fidgeted with her empty plate. “Anyway! She’s going to some kind of meeting thing to get up-to-date info on weather stuff,” Scootaloo sighed. “But only a few days? I mean, if it’s such a big deal, why not ask Miss Cheerilee to give you more time?” Sweetie Belle looked over to Cheerilee, who was currently chatting up with the restaurant owner. She looked back over to Scootaloo, who was restlessly moving in her stool as she was glancing all around. “Scootaloo?” She stopped moving and gave her a sheepish grin. “Umm, yeah… about that… I guess I should tell you guys about the night I snuck into the school… ” ~~*~~ Cheerilee hummed a tune as she went about her evening, grading her students’ papers. Her smile grew a little wider when she got to Apple Bloom’s, noticing considerable improvement in her mathematics compared to last week’s. Hmm, still some trouble with long division, she thought. She marked the mistakes. It was an overall improvement, though! She gave a final grade and moved on to the next paper: Scootaloo’s. Tink.  She was knocked out of her thoughts. She looked up, scanning the room. When nothing else happened, she shrugged. She looked back at the paper and pulled out a red marker. Thunk. “What in the world…” She stepped away from her desk.  Thunk. It was coming from one of the windows near the back. She held her head outside the door and flicked her ears in each direction. She heard crickets and the wind rustling some bushes, but nothing notable. She moved slowly to the other side of the building. When she got there, she paused. A baby alligator on the ground blinked at her. She blinked back. A cool breeze rustled the leaves of nearby trees. Chimes jingled. A pause. Not really making heads or tails of the situation, Cheerilee scratched her head. “Does Pinkie know you’re here?” Gummy did a slow blink in response. Cheerilee clip-clopped in place for a moment. She sighed. Tonight was going to be a long night.  “Well, I suppose we’d better get you back home before Pinkie turns the whole town upside-down looking for you… again,” she muttered thinking back to that fateful night.  ~~**~~ Cheerilee sighed, content and finally in bed. Tomorrow, she had the day off, and she was fully intent on doing absolutely nothing. She curled, wrapping herself around the blanket, and let out another sigh. A small smile appeared on her face.  She reached over to her nightstand and switched off the light. Thump. Her ear flicked.  Thump. Her eyes tightened. “Mmmm.” She rolled over on her stomach. Thump thump thump THUMP. Her eyes shot open and she flipped over. She fumbled for the light switch. The light came on. She didn’t pull the switch. “HAVE YOU SEEN GUMMY ANYWHERE!?” screamed a pink behemoth, inches away from her face. Her eyes were bloodshot and twitching, foam frothing from her mouth. She lifted the bed like it was an umbrella.  The bed promptly crashed to the floor. Pinkie screamed She screamed. ~~**~~ Cheerilee shuddered. She snatched up Gummy and placed him on her back. “Hopefully, she hasn’t gone into full Pinkie-mode yet…” Walking down the dirt path leading outside the school grounds, she heard a crash. It had come from the school. She turned and raced back; Gummy unceremoniously flopped chin first into the ground. He blinked. Before getting to the door, she stopped. What was she doing? What if there was a thief past the door? Her heart raced and eyes dilated. She started to hyperventilate.  Then she really thought about the situation for a moment, and her brows furrowed. The thought of a thief targeting a school raised a lot of questions, none of which had sensible answers. She put her back against the wall near the door and slowly slid over. She heard the frantic rustling of papers. Biting her lip, she steeled herself for who, or what, she was about to encounter. She peeked. Her eyes widened and jaw went slack. She stepped in. The rustling stopped. “H-he-hey, Miss Cheerilee! Fancy meeting you here, I was just in the neighborhood and noticed that uh, your uh, door was wide open! I thought maybe I’d come by and say ‘Hey!’ But I noticed you weren’t in here, and the lights were on, and I was like, ‘Huh… strange!'” Cheerilee moved past the culprit and looked around at the mess. She started picking up some stacks of papers and putting them on her desk. “And I was just making sure that everything was in o-order! I said to myself, ‘Yep, seems like everything here looks good!’ So, I went—” Cheerilee shuffled through the stacks of paper and paused. “Scootaloo.” “—then I accidently tripped into the table and went like, ‘Woah!’ All the papers from all the drawers flew out! It was–” She stopped when she finally turned around. She gulped. “Scootaloo.” “Ye-yes, M-mi-miss Cheerilee?” Scootaloo’s eyes frantically shifted between the open door and her teacher.  Cheerilee picked up a paper with her mouth and held it out before her student. Scootaloo’s heart stopped. The paper drifted to the floor in front of her. Cheerilee made her way back to her desk and sat in the chair. She tapped the desk a couple times.  “Scootaloo, I gave you an extra three days to finish that assignment. If you needed more time, why didn’t you just come talk to me?” She started sifting through the papers and tried to put them back into neat stacks. She paused, went around her desk, and grabbed the paper that had fallen before Scootaloo. “Instead, you tried to mislead me and plant your very late, but finished paper. Which, just from a glance, I can tell was rushed.”  She slid papers around before finding what she was looking for. She saw numbers in random orders scribbled underneath each question. “I can see now the paper you gave me this morning was just to give me something so you’d have time to cook up”—she waved a hoof around—“this.” Scootaloo was low to the ground, ears sagging, not looking at anything in particular. Cheerilee shook her head. “I’m very disappointed in you, Scootaloo. Your aunts will know about this. I want you to write me an essay on dishonesty, to be done in two days.” Scootaloo tried to sink further into the floor, hoping it would swallow her. “I also want you to redo this essay, which will only receive 80% credit.”  Scootaloo’s face hit the floor in a thud. She groaned. ~~*~~ “…And yeah, that about sums it up.” Scootaloo rubbed the back of her head, looking everywhere but her friends. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle looked at each other.  “Well, that explains why ya couldn’t come crusadin’ with us for two days in a row,” Apple Bloom said, rubbing her chin. Sweetie Belle furrowed her brows. “Mm-hmm.” “Alright, my little ponies! It’s a quarter-past-three, and the train departs at four. It’s time to go.” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom hopped down. Scootaloo sighed in relief. Students shuffled past them, heading out the door.  “Snips and Snails, please pick up the trash you left at the table. Oh!” Cheerilee staggered to the side. “Aura, there’s no rush. We’re not far from the station, please slow down.” The crusading trio stepped outside and waited for Cheerilee to lead the charge. Apple Bloom spoke up when she noticed Scootaloo was lagging behind. “Is there somethin’ else eating at ya?” Sweetie Belle elbowed her in the ribs. “Ow.” Apple Bloom rubbed her side and noticed Sweetie was giving her another look. She bit her lip. “If it’s personal, ya don’t hafta say, but know we’re here for ya if ya want to talk.” “No, that’s okay. It’s just that… I wish we had more time for crusading, so we can get our cutie marks sooner…” Scootaloo mumbled out as she rubbed the back of her head. “That’d be nice,” Sweetie Belle said while gazing at the sky. “I love my parents and all, but they can be a bit… clingy at times. Last week, I forgot to tell them I was heading out to see Rarity. I came back an hour later and found mom fainted on the couch and dad fanning her while biting his hooves.” She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Then I had to listen to some opera on the radio with them for four hours…” She shuddered. “'Twould be nice to not hafta feed the pigs while danglin’ from a rope for once…” Apple Bloom sighed. Her friends stared at her. “What?” Scootaloo snorted. “You feed your pigs while on a rope? That sounds ridiculous!”  Sweetie Belle covered her mouth and giggled. “The pig-feedin’-dangle-rope ain’t ridiculous! It’s tradition, an’ it works!” She pouted and stomped on the ground. Scootaloo shrugged. “Eh, fine. If it works, it works, I guess.” She kicked a pebble. “Point is, I just wish we had all the time in the world to just hang out. There’s more to crusading than just finding our special talent. I love hanging out with you guys…” She kicked the pebble again.  Unbeknownst to her, the two conspirators behind her gave each other wide grins as they impromptu hatched a devious scheme. Scootaloo stiffened as she felt two hooves wrap around her neck, quickly followed by two more around her midsection. Scootaloo, although embarrassed and not one for affection, only half-heartedly tried to pry herself away.  “Blegh. Alright, you can let me go now...” In response they tightened their grip around her. She sighed. The two offenders just giggled. She rolled her eyes. "You guys are the wors–" Her head jerked back as a fast small object barreled past her face. It flapped in place for a moment before letting out a loud bark and whizzing off again. They stood in place. Sweetie Belle’s head was tilted, her mouth forming an ‘o’. Apple Bloom just blinked. Scootaloo’s wings flapped a couple times as she thought hard to comprehend what just happened. “Di-did that bird just… bark?” “EEEEEEEAUGHHHHH!” Discord twisted his back in every which way. A sharp crack resounded. “Oooh, much better,” he said as he scratched his lower back. Who knew being trapped in stone could make one so itchy? He glanced around, noticing he was alone. “Oh poo, no welcoming committee for little ol’ me?” he said as he cusped his palms together and placed them on his cheek. “Oh well, at least the view is peaceful.” He put his claw and paw on his sides as he continued looking around. He heard some birds chirping, the rustling of the hedges, and the sound of moving water. He snorted. He could crack himself up sometimes! Him, enjoying a perfectly normal day? Perish the thought! “Too peaceful. Bored now!”  He drifted off the statue slowly and stroked his goatee. “How about a little of this?” He snapped his claw. The birds started barking. “Ehh, small start, but much better.” “Now where did I put that list of things I need to do?” He ripped off a horn and started shaking it. Several Discord paraphernalia fell out: a “We’re #1!” foam finger, a Twilight cane, the Elements of Harmony (replicas), a Celestia doll with a tongue sticking out and a unibrow, a brown paper bag, and…  “Ah, here we go!” He snatched up the scroll as the rest of the stuff started sinking into the ground. He summoned a pair of glasses to read it. “Item Number One: Get the Elements of Harmony.” He shrugged. “Simple enough I suppose.” He glanced back at the note. “P.S. I packed you a PB&J in case you get hungry.”  He stuck his tongue out as he shoved his claw into the bag before pulling out a zip locked bag.  “Wonderful! Just the way I like it.” His claw phased through the bag, and he grabbed the sandwich. He slurped off the crust. The rest of the sandwich sprouted wings and took flight. He used the replica Element of Kindness to wipe his face. “Now, back to business.” He snapped his claw and appeared in front of a large door with a sun symbol in the middle. He rolled his eyes. She always was full of herself. “Oh no, a door! My one true weakness…” He summoned a fainting couch and collapsed on it, the back of his paw on his head.  “Woe is me! I should just surrender now. I’m not cut out for this kind of thing!” He popped an eye open looking around and noticed he was alone. He raised an eyebrow. Not even geese to alert them of his presence?  Complete silence.  His couch popped from existence and he collapsed to the ground. He held his head with his paw as he thumped the ground with the digits of his claw.  Surely the door will at least pose some amount of difficulty, if Celestia is confident enough to leave the room unattended in the middle of the day? He snapped his claw and a box appeared in front of him.  Surely this box doesn’t contain the real Elements of Harmony and could easily be opened, could it? He snapped his claw again and it opened. All the Elements were accounted for. He blinked as the Elements fell to the floor in a clatter. He cackled and shook his head. “A thousand years, and this is the best you could do to protect the only artifacts in existence that can defeat me? Oh, Celestia… I almost feel bad, truly!” Key word: almost. “Well, no point in delaying the inevitable!” He summoned the scroll and a pair of glasses once more. “Item Number Two: Hide the Elements, and come up with a riddle as to where to find them.” He scratched his head, pausing for a moment. With nothing immediately popping into his head, he started floating around looking for inspiration, until he passed by a window and stopped. The maze.  He smiled a devilish smile. Oh, Celestia… thank you for telling me all about your precious student and her friends during your brief visits. Now… Twilight, was it? Bit of a bookworm? Tends to take things too literally? Ohh, this is going to be fun! His stomach growled.  “I suppose I should have a little bit more than just crust before I continue.” He summoned a table, a fork, a knife, a menu, a lit candle, and a folded up linen napkin. He also summoned a vinyl player on a separate table. Soft classical music started playing in reverse. “Sir, are you ready to order?” asked another Discord in a black-and-white uniform, a slicked-back mane, and a curly black mustache, a pen and an order pad in claw and paw, respectively. Discord looked at the menu. He pointed at an item. “Hmm, I’ll take this one.”  The waiter leaned over. “Excellent choice.” He wrote down on the pad, before disappearing. As soon as he disappeared, he reappeared once more with a covered plate. “Your lunch, sir.” He lifted the dome from the plate, revealing a dusty old book. Wonderful.  “Can I get you anything else?” he asked. “No, that’ll be all. Thank you.” Discord waved him off. The waiter bowed, before swirling in on himself. He grew smaller and smaller, vanishing in a small flash of light. Discord opened the book and immediately gagged. This was certainly not going to be easy to finish. He cut out a large square chunk out of the book and ate it one bite. It took considerable effort to get it down. How in the world can they digest this stuff on a daily basis!? he thought. He patted his mouth with a napkin.  He floated the Elements into the book and closed it. He threw the book behind him. It went through a basketball hoop before unceremoniously falling into a trash bin.  As he stood up, everything he had summoned disappeared in a flash. He held his paw with his claw behind his back as he made his way over to a window.  Since no welcoming committee came to greet me...  He teleported outside and slithered up to the highest point of the castle. He wrapped himself around the flagpole at the top.  He yanked off his goat leg and used it as a spyglass, pointing it at a certain rustic town off in the distance.  … I’ll just need to bring them to me.