Left 4 Dead in Equestria

by Pegasi will rule


Anything you can do, I can do better.

Chapter 3: Anything you can do, I can do better

It was now past three in the afternoon. Applejack and Rarity had offered to walk the three back to Sweet Apple Acres, while the rest of the girls went to do their own thing. The humans were to stay in the barn during their time, and they gave no objections. If anything, they seemed happy to finally be able to keep their guards down for once.

They didn't have to run, or shoot, or kill. They were able to just walk and admire the scenery. Francis plucked an apple from one of Applejack's trees by the side of the road and bit into it.

"Man, this is good! I definitely don't hate this!" He said, munching the apple, the juices sloppily flowing down his lips, onto his dirty vest. Rarity wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Um, Francis? When was the last time that thing was cleaned?" She asked, leaning in. She gagged when she got a whiff of it. "Oh, sweet Celestia! It reeks!" She yelled, covering her nose. The three humans hadn't even thought about the condition of their clothes. Closer inspection revealed their horror as well.

Their clothes all had their share of dried blood, vomit, brains and guts. They hadn't noticed the smell, since everything else around them smelled ten times worse. They looked to each other and shrugged.

"I don't suppose you'd want me to... wash them for you?" Rarity asked. The humans, again, looked to one another and shrugged.

"Nah, Rarity. Ah'll do it. They're mah guests after all. Maybe you could make them some new clothes, hmm?" Applejack put in. Rarity beamed and nodded.

"Oh, you all will just love what I make! Don't worry, it will be stylish, and functional! I'll get you tomorrow for measurements!" She yelled, running off to her boutique.

"Uhh, what just happened?" Francis asked, scratching his head. Applejack chuckled and lightly kicked a tree, knocking down a single apple, which she caught with her tail. Francis smiled. "Nice catch."

"Thanks. And that was just Rarity bein' Rarity. You'll get used to it. Now, hurry up. Y'all can meet mah family and I'll show you where ya'll be stayin'."

Zoey took of her jacket and wrapped it around her waist, letting the warmth of the mid-day sun hit her bare arms. Louis took off his tie and belt, getting comfortable as well. Francis just munched his apple and looked at his friends with a grin.

"Getting comfortable, hmm? Keep on guard, 'cause you never know when-"

He was cut off when a pink blur tackled him to the ground. He almost reached for his pistol, but remembered there were no freaking zombies OR vampires here. He opened his eyes and was now nose to nose with the pink pony from earlier.

"HIYA! I'm Pinkie Pie! Do you remember me? Do ya, do ya? Huh, huh, HUH?!" She asked quickly. Francis smiled and turned to his pals.

"-Something could get you." He finished. He sat up, Pinkie Pie staying right in his face with a goofy grin. "Is there a reason you freaking tackled me to the ground?" He asked, kind of annoyed.

"Because! I missed you! I wanted to say hi to you all before, but I was so nervous since you're aliens! But now, I'm feeling braver. SO HI! Do you want a party! *gasp* I have to throw you a party!" She yelled, bolting off down the road.

"Ha! Hear that Louis? She missed me more than you!" Francis laughed. "In your face, Mr. Sunshine!" Louis simply rolled his eyes and helped the cocky biker to his feet.

"Honestly, Francis, you can keep her. She's right up your ally." He goaded. Zoey chuckled and shook her head. Francis wrinkled his noes and shook his head.

"You gotta sick mind, I.T guy." He said with a hint of disgust. "Besides, she's WAY to positive for me."

"Oh yeah, that's right," Zoey joined in. "You need to hate her, and she needs to hate you and then it'll be perfect!" She laughed.

Applejack rolled her eyes at the banter. It was good they were enjoying themselves, but did it have to be negative? "Alrighty, folks. Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres!" The farm pony said happily. The three smiled at the paradise.

Apple trees grew across the many acres, coating the land in a red glow. The barn was beautiful, newly built, and the farm house was similar to the one they held out in once, but was quite a deal more peaceful, and spacious.

Zoey smiled when a small filly ran out the screen door to meet Applejack. She saw two others waiting, but couldn't make them out from the distance she was at.

"Applejack! You're back! You're... Whoa..." The filly gawked at the three creatures in front of her. "Are... we keepin' em?" She asked.

"Apple Bloom!" Applejack scolded. "These are guests, not pets. I want you to meet Francis, Zoey, and Louis. They'll be staying with us for a little while."

Apple Bloom looked at them carefully, then walked over to Zoey, looking her over curiously. "Umm. Hello?" Zoey started, bending down to a more comfortable level for the child.

"Howdy. Are you a girl?" She asked. Zoey smiled and nodded. "Yay! A girl to talk to!" She cheered, hopping back to the house. "I can't wait to tell the other Cutie Mark Crusaders!" She yelled.

"The Cutie Mark-y what now?" Francis asked.

"Her and her two friends call themselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders, on account of them not having theirs yet." Applejack explained.

"Is a... Cutie Mark the thing you have on your rear?" Louis asked. Applejack smiled and looked at her mark, smiling the whole time.

"Yessir. I got this when I discovered my purpose in life is at the farm. That's how you earn a Cutie Mark. You have to discover your special talent." She said smiling. She looked at Francis and tilted her head. "Are those marks on your forelegs Cutie Marks?" She asked. Francis laughed and flashed his arms.

"Nah, these are tattoos! I don't think I'd handle something that girly sounding on me." He chuckled. "I hope it never happens."

They continued on to the farm house. Meeting Granny Smith and Big Macintosh. They ate diner, told a few stories, then went to the barn for their first real sleep in weeks.

"Sorry we don't have any spare rooms or beds. Hope you don't mind hay." Applejack said from the barn door. Francis flopped into one of the piles and smiled.

"This is the most comfortable thing I've slept on in over two weeks!" He said happily, nestling in more. Louis nodded to Applejack.

"This is just fine. Thank you for your hospitality." He said happily. Zoey nodded.

"Yeah, couldn't really ask for more right now." She admitted.

Applejack smiled and nodded. "Well, sleep tight and we'll see you bright and early. G'night." She said, closing the large door behind her.

"Ah, this is great!" Francis yelled. Zoey and Louis looked to one another in surprise.

"Really, Francis?" Louis asked. "I thought you'd be hating everything right now." He chuckled. Francis shook his head and turned to face his friends.

"Are you kidding? We went three hours without being mauled, maimed, or otherwise violated by some mutant freak! I couldn't be happier in a land of ponies!" He chuckled.

"No ladies here, Francis." Zoey reminded him. His features went from happy, to one of dread.

"GET ME OUT OF THIS HELL!" He shouted, bolting upright. Louis laughed hysterically, as did Zoey. "Why are you laughing, Louis?! You're a man, too! A man's gotta get some... relief, you know?!"

Louis smiled and shook his head. "Sorry, Francis. I don't live in the gutter. I don't need sex to survive, because, honestly? I didn't really get that much to begin with."

Francis was about to say something, but shook his head. "You know what? That's too sad to make fun of. I low ball, but not that hard." He chuckled.

Zoey smiled at Francis and wrapped herself in her jacket. "Don't worry, Francis. In about a week or so, those ponies will start looking pretty cute. That pink one seems to like you quite a bit."

Louis snorted and rolled on his side. "It's late guys. Let's save the banter for tomorrow and get some well deserved sleep. Our first real sleep since longer than I can remember. I gotta good feeling about tomorrow anyways."

Francis laid back down and adjusted in his pile, and soon, he and Louis were fast asleep. Zoey, however, was wide awake. She held up the silver Zippo and frowned.

"I miss you, Bill... I'll never forget you..."


"Francis? Louis? You stay on the bride, cover our retreat. Zoey? Up front, you're with me." Bill ordered. Zoey skipped forward, clutching an M-16 tightly in her hand.

"I'll cover you while you start that generator. I wont let anything get by me." He said. He suddenly got a look of sorrow on his face and looked into Zoey's eyes. "I'm... sorry about what happened at the military base. I was only looking after your safety. I should have told you what I had planned since the start."

Zoey pat Bill on the shoulder and smiled. "I... guess I can forgive you for it. After all, we're going to be living on that Island for eternity. That's a long time to be mad at somebody, huh?"

Bill chuckled and placed something cold in her hand. "I want you to hold onto this for me, alright kiddo?" He asked. Zoey opened her fingers and saw Bill's silver Zippo lighter in her palm. She rolled it over and smiled, then squinted her eyes when she saw the engraving on the side.

'To Grampy, Love, Stephie.'

Zoey frowned and turned to Bill, who was already making his way into the town. His rifle leveled on the buildings and alleys. Zoey made her way to his side and began to work on the generator.

"Come on, stupid piece of..." She pressed the ignition, sending the echos of the grinding and noisy generator across the city. The sound of angry zombies screeched through the night, causing Zoey to panic.

"Come on! Come on! Work you piece of shit!" She yelled. She turned to see Bill, leveling his rifle on the adjacent street. Zoey couldn't see anything, but she knew Bill's assumption would be right on the money.

Sure enough, a Boomer, always the first ones to mossy out, waddled around the corner, rushing Bill.

"Are you freaking kidding me, you fat son of a bitch?" Bill yelled, squeezing off a single shot. The bullet tore through the bloated monstrosity, causing the gasses inside to detonate the soft fleshy belly. The pieces fell to the pavement, and then the real horde showed up.

Zoey slammed the start button as Bill shot the incoming horde. "Anytime would be good, Sweetheart!" He yelled, tossing his last pipe bomb. The Zombies chased it, then launched into the air in a shower of flesh and pieces as it went off.

Suddenly, the generator began to groan rhythmically. "YES! Thank you, you hunk of shit!" She yelled. "Come on, Bill! We're home free!"

The two ran back to the bridge, Francis and Louis blasting anything that followed the others, which was every single crazy infected. Francis grabbed Zoey's arm, and Louis grabbed Bill's as the bridge lifted barely out of reach.

"Holy shit, this thing is loud!" Zoey yelled. The wall of Zombies became larger and larger as the bridge continued to slowly rise.

"This thing is calling every damn Zombie in the city!" Louis yelled.

Suddenly, silence. The loud groan of the bridge ceased and the growls and screams of the infected below was all that could be heard. The bridge collapsed on level, going back to the nearest lock. The zombies were now in reaching distance of the ledge and began climbing.

"SHIT! Generators out!" Francis yelled. The four began to shoot at the common surrounding and climbing. Bill stomped fingers and heads when they touched the platform.

"We'll clear this wave, then start it again!" He yelled. "Should be easy enou-"

A loud roar, which all four knew to well, echoed from the top of the street, then three more accompanied it. They were used to one tank at a time, but a herd of them? If anyone ever encountered that before, they were more than likely pulp on the sidewalk by now.

"Oh god... Oh god, this can't be it! This just can't be!" Zoey pleaded, backing onto the bridge.Louis reached out and grabbed her hand.

"I just want to let you all know I love you. You've all been my family and I...Oh, shit..."

The thumping of the Tanks grew louder and louder. Death was just seconds away and they all knew it.

"I hate dying..." Francis pouted.

*Vwoosh*

Zoey turned just in time to see Bill run past her, a Molotov in his hands. "Cover me, and I'll see you all in hell..." He called out, jumping off the bridge.

"BILL!?!" Zoey shouted, running after him. Francis and Louis held on to her for dear life.

"No, Zoey! NO!" Louis shouted, grabbing his rifle. They were almost bone dry on ammo, and needed to make the last of it count. He handed Zoey her weapon and frowned. "Cover him! You'll be no good down there without a gun.

Zoey nodded and hefted her gun. She had half a clip left, but she could snipe. She fired single shots, blowing off heads and chests. No freak would touch the closest thing she had to a father now.

"Ah, hell. This is it isn't it?" Bill asked himself, reaching for the button of the generator. He bashed a zombie with the butt of his rifle and made the last millimeter stretched. The generator restarted instantly, and he could hear the shouts of Zoey telling him to run.

"I'm done, Zoey. You're safe.." He whispered. He knew he couldn't make the run back and get there in time for them to help him up. This was a one way trip, but he was sure going to make it one for the infected now coming for him.

But four Tanks? This was Bills final symphony. He lightly tossed the Molotov in his hand up in the air, caught it, then whipped it at the hulks. The horde and three of the Tanks were now screaming and pounding on their bodies, trying to quell the flames. But the fourth Tank?

It made it through the flames unscathed and sent a fist flying, connecting with Bill's chest. The man gasped and sailed through a boarded door, crashing into a large generator on the other side.

"Gahh! Son of... son of a bitch!" He gasped. He felt his chest and pulled his hand away. The entire rib cage was crushed. He could feel his lungs fill with fluid and breathing become nearly impossible. The tank now stood in the doorway, seeming to size the old Vietnam vet up. Bill smiled and took one last puff of his cigarette and drew his pistol.

"Come on... you son of... a bitch. Let's... Let's see what you got!"

"BILL! NO, BILL!" Zoey yelled, trying to escape Francis' grasp. He turned her around and held both her arms firm.

"Zoey! STOP IT! He's gone! He's..." Francis choked on his own words and felt the lump forming in his throat. He didn't need to say anymore. Zoey hit him with a full force hug and sobbed into his chest. Francis held her tight and sighed.

"I hate this... I hate this so much."

Louis sat by the edge of the bridge, looking down at the shambling wall of Zombies. "We need to keep quiet, you guys. We'll wait for the horde to clear out and then we'll go." He limped over to the two and joined the hug.

"Goodbye, Bill... and thank you." He whispered.