Dadonequus Discord (Book 2)

by CrazedLaughter


Chapter 253 - A Lovely Little Drive

The tunnel lights of the underground cave passed by in a pattern above as Chrysalis drove at a steady pace towards the exit. Fluttershy was staring silently in awe, patting her seat in amazement at its softness, and staring at the passing lights. She showed no hint of fear. Chrysalis, amazingly, just seemed to enjoy it. Or at least was rather calm about Fluttershy’s wonder, keeping to her word to drive sanely.

In fact, you had to ask her, you had to ask how she was feeling right at this moment. “Aunt Fluttershy, are you alright? You haven’t really said anything since we got moving.”

Fluttershy turned her head back towards you with a gentle smile and nodded. “I’m perfectly fine, Anon. I’m a little upset that your Father didn’t want to come along, but… I don’t know, now that we’re moving, I’m just amazed by everything. I think we’re moving fast, but it doesn’t really feel like we’re moving at all. How does that work? Is it magic?”

“Oh, um, not really.” Wow, she really was enjoying herself. Which was crazy to you because you hadn’t even left the cave yet. Chrysalis hadn’t said anything either, as she was putting in the effort to make things work. You stared at Chrysalis silently for a moment, amazed that she was trying much more than you expected. Maybe, just maybe, she could chime in. “H-hey, Chrysalis, why don’t you explain how it works? It is your car, after all.”


“Hm? I certainly can.” Chrysalis peers over at Fluttershy while maintaining her heading. “Do you really want to know?”

Fluttershy nodded in earnest. “Oh yes please. It’s all so amazing, and even overwhelming. It feels so comfortable here, it almost feels like a dream.”

Chrysalis slowly cocked a satisfied smirk, it almost looked like she was pleased to see Fluttershy so interested. A stark contrast to her annoyance with Celestia. Then again, even you had to realize that when it came to that, Celestia was a tad condescending and deserving of some ire. “Well, it really is simple. The hood of this car opens and closes. When it is open, then you can feel the wind in your mane as you speed ahead. But with it closed, it keeps the wind and pressure from coming inside. Though, that is not to say you don’t feel anything at all. Perhaps it’s because I’m driving, but I love feeling the purs and roars of the engine, the feeling of force when I speed up or take a sharp turn, and even the exhilarating feeling of falling after making a jump or flying off a cliff. As for how comfortable it is, this car’s climate is entirely adjustable by command. In fact… Computer, would you mind setting all seats to low vibration?” And with the command, all the seats, even the ones in the rear, began to vibrate gently, causing a smooth buttery feeling to shoot through your body, as well as Fluttershy’s and Chrysalis’s. “Now, tell me how that feels.”

“Oooohhh… It feels like I’m at the spa.” Fluttershy said as she sunk into her seat, her eyes becoming glassy and filled with content.

Chrysalis snickered at that “You like that, huh? Hmmm…” Chrysalis noticed the end of the tunnel opening up to the morning light. She took a glance at Fluttershy again, and for the life of her, she couldn’t drum up any kind of snarky remark or hateful feeling. It made her curious. “Anon, a question for you.”

“Hm? What is it?” You asked, curious to the question she wanted to ask.

“I was just wondering. Do you think we should have a nice little drive along the country roads? Or perhaps drive up the mountain and fly off a cliff? Don’t worry about that last one, this car does feature a glide function. I just can’t decide for myself. Normally I crave excitement, but today? Well, I wouldn’t mind a simple cruise.” Chrysalis said as she passed the threshold of the tunnel, to the side of the mountain that leads to Canterlot.  Chrysalis looked up and smiled. “It is a beautiful day out, isn’t it?”

Was… was this really Chrysalis? She seemed so happy and carefree right now. No hint of anger or disgust, or her usual brand of sarcasm. She said she’d keep the drive pleasant before all this, but perhaps she didn’t fully mean it when she said it before. The fact she was asking now what you wanted, it was unlike her. “Well, uh, um. Let’s just cruise, enjoy the sights. Heh, you want to go crazy, let’s wait for Twilight to want a ride.”

Chrysalis chuckled at that. “Sounds like a plan to me.” Chrysalis looked back at Fluttershy, who she still expected to be in a relaxed state. No, instead Fluttershy was looking at her with a gentle smile. “Ahrm, why are you looking at me like that?”

“I just wanted to let you know that I’m having a good time with you right now. I wanted to ask, if you don’t mind, if you’d join us for Hearthwarming.” Fluttershy asked in a cheerful tone. 

Chrysalis said nothing at first, then she let out a tired sigh. “Honestly? Not really. I’ll grant you the courtesy of knowing it has nothing to do with you. I just don’t feel like dealing with all the love in the room, nor do I need all the drama. I get it, you accept me, so you feel others should as well. But let’s not kid ourselves, it simply isn’t happening.”

Fluttershy frowned, she tried to figure out something to say how untrue that was. But she knew, with someone like Chrysalis, she can’t just make a hopeful comment that could be believed in. But she wouldn’t give up either. She knew Chrysalis was different, that she had very particular boundaries, so she opted to see if she’d be happy with settling with what she had. “I understand. I won’t push you, but I want you to know that I accept you. Not just because of Anon, but because I consider you family, that has never changed.”

“See, about that. That is a delusion you shouldn’t believe in. I have no true family anymore. And if it wasn’t for Anon, I may have actually gone insane due to that fact alone. I am content with these frugal friendships I have. As for you, well, you have surprised me. I expected cowardice and false praises, but you have been genuine thus far. It’s funny actually, it makes me realize that Twilight Sparkle is terrible at what she does. Her attempts to level with me felt so forced and patronizing. Actually, I have to ask, don’t you feel the same way? She’s always trying way too hard. It surprises me that there aren't more creatures out there who want to destroy her just because of how annoying that is.”  Chrysalis said, being rather callous about her feelings on Twilight.

“Um, look, Aunt Fluttershy, I kinda want to know from your perspective too. Because I’m not gonna lie, there’s a lot of times I wanted to, er, toss Twilight.” Into a volcano, is how you wanted to end that. Twilight, for all the good she’s done, always did feel mildly to heavily patronizing with her friendship crap. Not that it didn’t work out, but she always seems to come on way too strong. It made you understand why Starlight snapped at her the very first time Twilight tried to give her a friendship talk.

“Well…” Fluttershy’s ears folded as she tapped her hooves together, she looked out the window, and instead began to become captivated by the passing snowy roads as Chrysalis drove down to the roads at the base of the mountain. “Can’t we just enjoy the scenery instead? It’s so unique to see everything passing by from so low.”

“Come on, it’ll stay between us three. Humor me, Fluttershy, you did come to relate and earn my favor, didn’t you? Well, you’ve been successful so far.” Chrysalis said to her in a kindly manner.

“W-wait, really? Do you really enjoy my company?” Fluttershy asked, amazed Chrysalis would admit that.

Chrysalis shrugged. “I suppose I do. At least so far. But if I learned anything with my friendship with Anon, a relationship like this has some give and take. Admittingly, I take more than I give, but you’re not going to get much better than that. So, will you answer my question now?”

Interesting. Chrysalis was being manipulative, but she was holding back her usual blatant vicious and cunning nature. In her own way, she was befriending Fluttershy. Fluttershy was silent for a moment, nervous, looking through the window on her side ”...Sometimes Twilight just tries a little too hard. She is the Princess of Friendship…”. The way Fluttershy answered, you were about to ask Chrysalis to ease up a bit on her. But then, suddenly, Fluttershy looked back at her, with a question of her own. “But she does genuinely want to be friends with you. I won’t say you should give her a chance, but if you were to give at least one of us a chance, who would you pick? Erm, besides me too, because we're already friends.”

Chrysalis coughed at the sudden turn around. “W-what?! If I had to pick one of you?! What kind of question is that?! I said humor me, not disgust me to the core!”

“I don’t think it’s a hard question to answer, not at all. You said you take more than you give, and that’s fine. I give more than I take, and I want to give you the comfort of knowing you can have even more friends than you do now.” Fluttershy then gives her a stern, yet caring stare. “And you can’t say nopony either, it has to be one.”

“I’m not answering that stupid question.” Chrysalis said with a huff. “I’m not Discord, I can’t be persuaded with guilt or kindness like he can.”

“C’mon, Chrysalis, you know that isn’t true. You gave up ending Twilight because you thought I was a ponykebob, remember?” You say, quite interested in hearing the answer yourself, making an attempt to convince her. “Come on, we’re having a good time, having a good ride. And the question got me pretty curious. Who else would you want to be friends with?”

“That doesn’t count! I didn’t know I could even lose my will like that! It was an accident and you know it! How dare you use that situation against me! Who do you think you are?!” Chrysalis barked back at you, angrily looking at you.

You just gave her a cute angry pout. “I’m your best friend, remember? And now you’re convincing me you’re not so fearsome as you want everypony to think if you’re scared of an easy question like that.”

Chrysalis scoffed at your words. “Ha! Nice try, but I’m not as vain as Discord either. Did you really think that would work?!”

“Erm, C-Chrysalis?” Said a suddenly worried Fluttershy.

“What? Don’t try to convince me too. I’m never answering that question. As for you, Anon, I seem to remember you, despite all your anger, whining like a little baby when you thought my head got sliced off. What about that? Hm?!” Chrysalis said, demanding an answer.

“Chrysalis?” Fluttershy tried calling to her again, daring to give her leg a shake.

“What?! What do you want!? If you’re going to try to convince me, you cSDGDG” With a crash into a snowbank, Chrysalis and you are sent flying into the windshield. Amazingly, Fluttershy was not, as it seems that at some point, unbeknownst to anyone, she had somehow had the foresight to put on her seatbelt.

“O-oh my… Are you both okay?” Fluttershy asked, worried for the both of you.

“I slammed into my head… So I’ll be fine.” You said as you slowly reeled back onto Fluttershy’s seat, sitting back into her chest.

“Somepony is going to meet their end.” Chrysalis said. She had fallen headfirst into the snowbank she crashed into, and began to slowly rise out of it as snow slowly dropped from her crowned head. “Who put this here? Why is there so much snow?” Chrysalis barked as she climbed onto the bank and peered at her car. “How did my baby get stopped by powdered water?! WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!”

“Chrysalis, hey, calm down!” You say as you quickly rush out of the car to council her. “I mean, it’s a lot of snow, it’d stop anything. It’s normal, I promise.”

Chrysalis growled as she began stomping around on the snow. “I don’t care if it’s normal! We should have plowed right through it! How did this much snow even get here?!”

“Hmmm…” Fluttershy flew up and landed beside Chrysalis as she took a look around. The snowbank was actually quite long and thick, and the location you all had driven too was a road leading north towards, most likely, Manehatten. Fluttershy looked up at the sky, and there were barely any clouds. It seemed like the snow built up in this one spot for no discernable reason. “She is kind of right, Anon. This isn’t normal. There wasn’t any news or schedules for it snowing down in this one particular spot. It seems so random”

“Thank you!” Chrysalis said as she pointed towards Fluttershy, giving you an annoyed stare. “See? Even she knows something is wrong.” 

“There is certainly something amiss, but I’d also appreciate if you don’t scold Anon. This isn’t his fault. I have really liked your company so far, Chrysalis. I love your enthusiasm. But please, please, don’t be so mean. I think we should just calm down, and maybe drive somewhere else.” Fluttershy suggested, defending you while trying to diffuse the situation.

“We already wasted too much time with this! You don’t seem to understand that I actually… Yes, actually wanted us to have a nice pleasant drive set to a decent time limit. So I have every right to be angry at whatever pegasus pony decided it’d be a bright idea to drop all this snow here! I think I’d actually be doing Equestria a favor by removing them from existence. Think about it, the roads would be clear for everypony if they were gone.” Chrysalis growled, still angry as she stomped about the snowbank, looking upwards for any signs of a pegasus pony.

“No, destroying anypony is bad, remember? And we don’t even know if pegasi had anything to do with this. And even if they did, I bet it was probably an accident.” Fluttershy said, hovering in front of Chrysalis, and again attempted to calm her down. “I really am having a very lovely time being your passenger, I promise. Come on, let’s just go and relax, and maybe go back and have some of that pie. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

“Oh! That does sound nice! Can I come too!? Please, please!?” Said a voice coming from right next to Chrysalis, a very joyous voice.

Chrysalis was starting to realize she was throwing a temper tantrum over snow. Even she realized how bad of a look that was. “Mnngh, thinking about it now, my behavior does seem childish. I guess I’m sounding like a complete bi-ASDFEFSDF” Chrysalis, not noticing at first, suddenly jumps and falls over, sinking into the snow from utter bedazzlement from a certain pink pony suddenly appearing out of nowhere. “WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!”

“Oh, I was just getting more snow since I used all the snow around here to make my even biggerer snowpony to beat my world record. But I think I got lost because I can’t find it anywhere, only this big pile of snow where it used to be.” Pinkie said as she turned over and looked at the car. “Ooohh! Now that’s the neatest taffy machine I’ve ever seen! Can I try it out, huh huh huh?!”

“Pinkie?!” Both you and Fluttershy shouted in surprise.

“Well, yeah, that’s my name. How is your family thingy going? Oh, hey! Is this Chrysalis’s taffy machine?” Pinkie looked to Chrysalis with a wide smile. “Do you mind if I try some? I never had changeling taffy before! “

Oh god no… “Pinkie… This may n-” But you were interrupted as Chrysalis burst from the snow in furious anger, snow piles dropping everywhere, including on your face. Fluttershy being blown away from being in proximity from the snow burst.

“You! You did this! Of course it’d be the annoying pink one! Do you have any idea who you are talking to?! You better answer wisely, because it most likely will be the last thing you’ll ever say.” Chrysalis said, furious as all hell.

“Well, I think I’m talking to Chrysalis, unless you’re not her but another changeling who looks like her. But since Nonny and Fluttershy are here, then you’re probably her.” Pinkie said cheerfully before slinking to Chrysalis’s side and giving her a nudge on her side as she whispers. “And your taffy machine is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen ever! It’s so sleek and neat, it makes me feel like it can make the sweetest taffy in Equestria.  I should have known that the queen would get the bestest stuff.”

Chrysalis’s eye twitched, as she went from anger to utter confusion. “Taffy machine?! How in Tartarus is that a taffy machine?! Explain that to me this instant!”

Pinkie looked at it again, and rubbed her chin, narrowing her eyes at it. “Well, its got the four wheels, and all the doohickys inside, and its making a whirring noise from the front like a taffy machine does. If it’s not a taffy machine, what else can it be?”

“It’s a car, you fool! It is my chariot of fear and destruction! It isn’t, and will never be, a stupid taffy machine!” Chrysalis yelled at her as her horn began to glow a ghastly green “You better give me a good reason not to bury you where you stand.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to be buried in the snow, silly. It’s cold.” Pinkie hopped over to the car and gave it another look over, then nodded happily. “So it’s a car chariot thingy? Gotta say, it looks cooler than Princess Celestia’s. You didn’t make this to make her jealous, did you? Because I could super see her being jealous of this thing. Oh, Luna too! Luna has a pretty neat chariot, but this one has that edge that hers doesn’t have. It doesn’t even look like it needs pegasi to pull it. You better not let Twilight see this, she’d do all her sciency stuff on it just to see how it works.” Pinkie said as she nodded again. “Yup, even Rarity would say this is the most stylish chariot she’s ever seen.”

Chrysalis was silent, her horn’s glow slowly dimming as she suddenly smirked. “Jealousy, you say? You really think my car is that good? You’re being genuine?”

Pinkie nodded profusely “Mhmm! And you had to be going pretty fast to make my snowpony disappear. It’s gone! There’s no trace of it at all! I bet you sent it flying into the sky. I wish we had this when Tirek attacked, we could have smacked him all the way back to Tartarus with this before he ever had a chance to hurt somepony.”

“You think so? I hadn’t even considered that, really. Hm…?” Chrysalis saw sparkles coming from herself, and from the car, everything was already starting to return back to her basement. “Pink one, it seems I must be going. But since I have your attention, I have a question for you.”

“A question for me? Sure! I’ve always wanted to answer questions for royalty! Its part of my super duper big list of things I want to do!” Pinkie said excitingly.

Chrysalis smiled warmly at that, she felt a sense of respect to still be referred to as ‘royalty’ without any sarcasm behind it. “Your friend, Twilight Sparkle. Would you say she tries too hard when it comes to friendship? I’m just curious, and you seem to be genuine with your answers.”

“Mmmm…” Pinkie began to ponder on the question for a bit. “I guess that depends. Sometimes she tries too hard, but then sometimes she tries waaaayyyyyy too hard. Sometimes she tries so hard she goes a little nutty. Does that answer your question?”

“It does. Thank you for the answer, and goodbye.” Chrysalis said with a nod as you, her, Fluttershy, and the car returned back to the basement. 

“Chrysalis! Don’t… What?! What happened?! Where are we?!” You said as you fumbled about, not realizing where you were or what had happened.

“Chrysalis? Please! Don’t be angry.. With… Um, are we back at your home?” Fluttershy asked as she looked around, confused.

“We are, and don’t worry, I didn’t harm a single hair on the pink one’s head. Quite the opposite, actually. She has such good taste and an eye for power. She even gave me a reason to send a letter to Princess Celestia.” Chrysalis said gleefully.

Wut? “What? Wha? Wait, what? So you didn’t get mad at Pinkie?”

“And you want to write a letter to Princess Celestia? Oh? You must have learned a big big lesson about friendship! Was it about forgiveness? Please, tell us! I am excited to know what you learned!” Fluttershy said, ecstatic with how events seemed to have played out.

“Oh, I certainly learned something. As for what I plan to write her. Well, I certainly don’t plan to write how I have confirmation that she was completely incompetent in training her pupil and turned her into a deranged friendship dictator with an addiction to her own ego that perfectly reflects how much of a failure she truly is as a teacher. Oh yes, I’d also like to have a taffy machine. You’ll be happy to learn that I want to send a present of delicious candy to the pink one for her little ‘lesson’.” Chrysalis said with a happy little titter.

Fluttershy just nodded with a grin. “Well, I’m glad you’re not going to write that. And I’d be happy to get you a taffy machine, you can consider it a heartwarming gift.”

You just slapped your face. You have no fucking clue what just happened. You have no fucking clue how she didn’t end up killing Pinkie. And you absolutely do not want to know what she plans to do with the taffy machine.