Discord leaned against the cottage door as he listened closely to the pleasant symphony of chaotic wails, barks, and roars from the animals bundled up inside. An interesting expression of amusement and confusion appeared on his face.
"Ah… I don't remember leaving any animals inside the cottage," Discord said bluntly.
"So either you're blind or deliberately don't pay attention," Owlicious sniffed, resting on a branch outside the cottage.
"Well, are you going to go in, or what? Those animals need feeding, bathing, and attention. Some of them are even sick and injured," the owl looked down at Discord, "You don't want to disappoint Fluttershy, do you?"
Discord scoffed, "I am well aware of my duties. I'm just a bit concerned because the animals aren't supposed to be inside. Clearly, some creature let them in… and I know exactly who…."
Owlicious cocked his brow; of course, Fluttershy had dozens of animals in her cottage, although most were being nursed back to health. He knew as such when he spoke to her about his hunting grounds, asking him nicely to stay out of her yard.
Discord quickly put on a police officer's uniform with a snap of his claw before bursting through the door, "NOBODY MOVE, EVERY CRITTER OFF OF THE COUCH-YOU."
Discord quickly locked his gaze with Angel Bunny, standing defiantly on the dinner table across the room from him, "YOU let them in, didn't you?"
The owl took a seat at a perch, shaking his head. "You don't remember much, do you?"
Angel Bunny, who had been waiting in the living room for hours, ran up and stomped his feet at the draconeequs. He pointed at his stomach, his mouth, and all the other creatures.
A hummingbird with a broken wing sat sadly next to his feeder, which was empty. A few mice scurried about, chewing on the table legs of Fluttershy's coffee table, ignoring the draconeequs. A few wolves sat down expectantly, having been well trained by the pegasus to obey commands.
Harry, the bear, poked his head out of the kitchen, a honey pot stuck on his snout.
Angel Bunny hopped up and down in a tantrum, pointing and miming at Discord in anger. Discord turned to Owlicious expectantly.
Owlicious looked up, "Don't look at me. All animals have different languages. I have no idea what he's saying... but I could guess."
Discord sighed, "Contrary to popular belief, I don't LIVE here, so excuse me for not being completely sure what is considered normal around here. Honestly, I'm surprised they aren't y'know…" he'd slice his claw across his throat.
Owlicious eyes widened, "Fluttershy makes it very clear no animal is to be harmed or eaten on her property or the surrounding area. She and I spoke at length about it."
The draconeequs raised a brow at the owl, "And YOU complain about me violating the laws of nature, tch."
Discord tsk'd as he clicked his tongue, "Let's see here..." he'd approach the animals one by one and scan them closely, eyeing them up and down before slowly turning to face Owlicious.
"I think I see the problem… these animals… need my attention!" proclaimed Discord.
"Gee, you're a quick one." the owl rolled his eyes.
Angel Bunny now realizing that Owlicious was speaking. Looked up in sheer shock and disgust at the words tumbling out of Owlicious' mouth. How was he speaking?!
No, he knew why... Discord, of course! The rabbit jumped up, climbing onto Discord's leg and up to his chest. He grabbed him by the fur, pointing at himself and Owlicious, clearly demanding something.
Discord glanced down at Angel Bunny, "Oh great, YOU want to talk? Fine… I suppose this would be easier with you telling what these miserable saps need."
Discord snapped his claw, and the rabbit felt a strange surge pulsate inside him as the bunny erupted into a coughing fit as Owlicious had.
"You're doing that again? Well, at least he asked for it..." Owlicious tsked.
Angel Bunny flopped to the ground, overwhelmed by the coughing, before returning to his hind feet.
"Finally, you do something of worth around here!" Angel spat out, "I... I can talk! I can finally talk to someone other than Fluttershy!"
The rabbit jumped up with surprising giddiness, clapping his feet together as he jumped around. Surprisingly, Angel sounded even stranger. In contrast to Owlicious, who sounded like he wasn't even from Equestria, Angel Bunny was reminiscent of a Baltimarian or lower Manehattanite. It was somewhat high pitched, with a snide, sarcastic undertone.
"See ya later, suckers." the rabbit stuck out his tongue, racing for the door.
Discord rolled his eyes as he snapped his claw, instantly summoning the rabbit again into his grasp, "Well, it was worth a try; I suppose you don't get to talk after all."
"Wait!!" the rabbit squeaked, trying to wrestle himself out of the draconeequs' grip.
"Fine! I'll help you, but don't expect me to do all the work!" snapped Angel.
Owlicious rolled his eyes and flew to Discord's shoulder. "It's probably best not to threaten him. He can still talk to Fluttershy even if you remove his ability to speak Ponish."
"Yeah, listen to the bird!" whined Angel.
Discord drummed his fingers on the table, eyeing Angel bunny, "Oh, I won't harm a hair on his little fluffy head, but I will take away his ability to speak Ponish if he misbehaves."
Angel stuck out his tongue, crossing his arms. Owlicious sighed, already sensing how this was going to go.
Discord dropped the bunny on the table, "Now then, since these animals are your friends, acquaintances, neighbors, the like. You will tell me what each of them needs because some aren't as obvious as the others..."
Discord summoned a hammer before perfectly smashing the honey jar from Harry's muzzle, freeing his mouth and leaving him unharmed, before snapping his fingers and replacing the hummingbird feeder… and the hummingbird's broken wing with a hummingbird-sized bat-wing.
"Well, for one, freeze Harry's mouth, he hasn't eaten in hours, and that's been stuck there for that long! He needs his berries and protein." the bunny stared at the now hybrid hummingbird, fur-raising at the strangeness.
"Eugh... anyways... the dogs need feeding, bathing, de-fleaing, and to be walked. The mice's home needs cleaning, new bedding, water, and food pellets. You should check on Walter; he's one of the mice; he's been under the weather."
Angel went through the list, "The cats need their litter changed, to be fed, and pet. Three rattlesnakes and two pythons need their meals; she has eggs in the fridge for them."
"There are also two deer in the backyard, their antlers are stuck together, and they're starving. They showed up yesterday." Angel sighed, "And that should be it... Fluttershy goes through that every day and more; I nearly memorized all of it." he seemed tired just listing everything out.
Discord paused at the deer part, "I thought deer were sentient….and they say this world makes perfect sense."
"You would be surprised; I even saw her care for a giraffe! I suppose Fluttershy simply takes care of any creature needing help." Owlicious shrugged.
"Welp, that's everything, so if you need me...." Angel began towards the door once more.
Discord snatched Angel Bunny, "And where exactly do you think you're going? What do you think you're going to do? Waltz into a place of business or some sort of party and just assimilate?" Discord erupted into laughter, "You're a pet! Owlicious even had the sense not to abuse his new-found blessing."
"Hey, I did my part; I told you what they needed! Now I can actually talk to more than one pony!" Angel struggled in the air, trying to hit the draconeequs with his tiny paws, "Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to talk to only ONE creature?! I'm bored! And I know I don't want to talk to you."
Discord laughed, "Please! I would've killed to talk to one creature during my imprisonment, especially if it was Fluttershy."
"Yeah, I'm sure you would," Angel mocked him, bringing his paws up to his cheeks, making a kissy face, "Whatever, you know what I mean."
Discord rolled his eyes, "Here's exactly the thrilling conversation you're going to get:" He'd clear his throat as he mimicked the rabbit's tone of voice, "Hi, I'm Angel– AAAAAAaHHHHH IS THAT RABBIT TALKING!? OH SWEET CELESTIA, SAVE US; THE END TIMES ARE HERE!"
"Pfft, please, I'm an adorable talking rabbit. Ponies would love me!" Angel hmphed, "But I guess I don't have a choice."
Discord scoffed, "Fine, I got the memo. I'll introduce you to some ponies once I'm finished… now then…."
The room would begin to rattle and shake as the furniture and animals floated. Discord focused his magic as the house started to deconstruct itself down to every atom in front of Angel and Owlicious.
The animals would helplessly fly around this metaphysical whirlwind the draconeequs had created. The home's interior seemed to disappear entirely as the home began to spin and spin with colors and objects that were too distorted from their original form to tell what they were flying around them.
Every animal felt itself shift and change as if every bone, muscle, and organ was being rearranged in a second.
"What is LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY ARE YOU DOING?!" Owlicious squawked, unable to put a word on what terror he was experiencing.
"Rearranging reality to where every creature here is perfectly healthy and well-fed, what does it look like I'm doing?" Discord said in a matter-of-fact tone as if it was self-evident what he was doing.
"Make it stop!!" Angel cried, covering his eyes
The room kept spinning and spinning as any physical shape, and the animals began to separate into atoms. The animals could see themselves become nothing, ceasing to exist before snapping back into reality.
The whiplash was alien, unlike anything they had ever experienced in their natural lives as humble subjects of nature. It was like embracing death and vitality all at once. Was this enlightenment? Was this the end of their modest lives?
Every creature was back in place with a blink of their eyes. Healthy, groomed, well-fed, with all their necessities provided for them.
The room was quiet for a brief moment until every animal in the vicinity began to panic. Harry started rampaging through the house, trying to escape through the back door, while the other animals attempted other exits. Mice scurried under the door's crack while birds slammed themselves against windows in a desperate plea.
"Look at what you did; you terrified all of them! You may have helped them physically, but you mentally scarred them beyond repair!" Owlicious squawked, his feathers ruffled, looking to flee himself, "How could Twilight put YOU in charge of anything if this is your solution?!"
Angel Bunny wrenched himself free of Discord's grasp and hopped onto a window, opening it for his fellow animals to fly free.
"Why are you even friends with Fluttershy if you don't even care?!" Angel hissed before hopping out the window himself.
Discord sighed as with a snap of his fingers, he'd freeze time, leaving only Owlicious free from the spell's effects, "So… my humble assistant, take a letter to Princess Twilight." he'd toss pen and paper to the owl.
Owlicious cocked a brow, holding the pen and paper in his tiny claws. "I may be able to speak, but I can't write in Ponish... I don't even think I'm physically capable of holding a pen. What are you even going to send her anyways? Are you quitting already?" Owlicious narrowed his gaze.
"You think I gave you the ability to speak without the ability to read and write? What do you take me for, an idiot?" scoffed Discord, "Use your beak or claw; it should come naturally to you once you pick up the pen."
Discord cleared his throat as he mimicked Twilight, "Dear Princess Cel– Twilight, Today I learned you can't bend and tear the fabric of reality to care for animals in a neat and orderly fashion. Instead, you have to groom, feed, and take care of them properly. Who knew? Sincerely, your faithful friend, Discord."
Owlicious sighed and placed the parchment on the floor, awkwardly holding the pen in his claw before giving up and using his beak.
"Couldn't you have just written the message? It's not like Twilight hasn't written her own before." Owlicious grumbled with ink, now staining his beak.
Discord took the letter before making it disappear with a snap of his claw, "It's called sticking to a formula that the audience recognizes." Discord said as he rolled his eyes, "Now…" he'd offer his claw to Owlicious, "Grab on and hang on tight."
The owl cautiously stepped onto Discord's arm, not liking where this was going, "No more bending the reality of time and nature around me, thank you," Owlicious sighed, "Please."
"I won't… anymore… but we're going to have to make one more exception to our rule." smiled Discord.
Discord would summon a large clock before grabbing the large hand with his paw, forcing it to spin backward.
The world around them would play in reverse as the animals dissolve into atoms and reformed into their previous incarnations. The once 'perfect' house had deconstructed itself. Reshaping and reorganizing itself into the messy home it was earlier in the day.
But the two creatures went further back in time, to even before that. Before Owlicious and Discord had begun working together. Going back in the day, right when Discord was supposed to show up.
Discord tapped the arms of the clock to make them stop moving before snapping his fingers to allow time to flow naturally once more.
Discord turned to Angel, who was patiently sitting on the table waiting for Discord, who quickly jumped at the seemingly sudden appearance of Discord and Owlicious. With a snap of his fingers, Discord gifted Angel the ability to speak again.
"Good morning Angel Bunny! Ready to start the day!? Me and my assistant Owlicious are here and ready to help!"
"I really don't like you," Owlicious said bluntly, crossing his wings.
Angel Bunny would look up in surprise, then hold his throat. "Wha... I can talk...? But... why?" The rabbit was utterly put off by the draconeequs' happy demeanor and the gift of speech.
"What's in it for you?" Angel narrowed his eyes.
"Let's just say he and I had a long talk," Owlicious hooted.
Discord smiled smugly at Owlicious, stroking the owl's head before looking at Angel, "Oh yes, we had quite a charming chat," he chuckled.
"... Fine. Let's just take care of everyone," Angel Bunny hopped away toward the kitchen, "Let's start with Harry first... he's got his head stuck in the honey jar."