Discord sat underneath the pleasant Ponyville sun, entangling himself around the bark of an oak tree as he summoned a pair of reading glasses alongside a very long to-do list.
"Let's see," he skimmed through the scroll, "House sit Twilight's castle…" the draconequus looked over to the rubble that was scattered across the plot of land that had once been Twilight's castle, "... Check."
"Tend to animals, speak with Mayor Mare about ongoings with the town, stay out of trouble." Discord clicked his tongue, "Twilight, you really have little faith in me."
He'd yawn before teleporting beside the tree he was once wrapped up in, "I feel like I'm forgetting something…."
"Hoo!"
Above the draconeequs, a brown barn owl fluttered down from the trees, perching itself at Discord's antler. It blinked at the creature, swiveling its head left and right as it looked about.
Strange, owls aren't usually awake during the day... they slept during the day and hunted at night, usually for smaller prey like rabbits and mice. Ironic, considering Fluttershy's pet of choice.
This owl seemed familiar, however, looking down at Discord expectantly with its strangely judgmental gaze.
Discord scratched his head with his claw as he slowly stroked his beard with his paw, seeming to stare at the owl curiously, "Strange… you look… familiar, but you're not part of Fluttershy's repertoire of wildlife critters… trust me, I had it drilled into my head."
The draconequus had a drill pressed against his skull as it buzzed loudly, causing the creature's eyes to swirl around his head, before he quickly disposed of the tool into the aether, "No, no…."
The owl seemed to roll its eyes at his antics, fluttering off his antler.
Discord suddenly appeared to be beside the owl, wearing a fedora similar to one a news reporter would have as he offered the animal a microphone, "What's your angle? Opinion on current happenings in Equestria? Do you agree that Discord is the most handsome creature in all the land?"
"Hoo," Was the owl's only response as he landed on a tree branch, crossing its wings as it cocked its brow. It seemed it could understand what Discord was saying and wasn't impressed.
Discord raised a brow, "Oh, you're sentient. Ah, isn't that a hard sell? To be blessed with sentience but not the ability to speak. Especially considering you're distant cousins to Harpies and, of course, parrots."
"Let's change that, shall we?" A mischievous look overtook Discord's expression. With a snap of his claws, the owl would feel a strange surge pulsate inside him as the bird erupted into a coughing fit.
The owl blinked, suddenly filled with fear. Spreading his wings, he attempted to fly away before the draconeequs could cause him any harm.
Then, it felt as if he were attempting to regurgitate one of his meals, the owl making a rough landing on the ground, using its wings to prop itself up.
"What did you–" The words seemed to tumble from his beak, his beady eyes widening in shock. "What did you DO, you fool?!"
The owl's voice sounded very posh, surprisingly enough. Not quite like the Canterlot elite, or the ritzy Manehattanite draw. In fact, he sounded more like a certain foal from Ms. Cheerilee's class... Pipsqueak, was it? But far more mature, more gentlemanly, if you will.
Catching its breath, the owl lifted itself into the air and flew into Discord's face.
"The princess has trusted you to take care of her town while she is gone, and one of the first things you do is make her owl TALK?!" The owl squawked, getting into Discord's face. "Honestly, do you have ANY sense of responsibility at all?!"
Discord erupted into a fit of laughter, "Oh, oh, this is too rich!" he'd collapse onto the ground and smash his claws and hoofs against the grass, riling in laughter.
"Oh my, I knew the stereotype of a wise old owl, but you sound like that harpy from the commercials!"
He'd quickly sit up, "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a fruitsie-roll-pop?" quoted Discord.
The draconeequs got on his hooves as he offered the owl a loli, "Let's find out!"
The owl narrowed his eyes and snapped the lollipop in half, his beak sharp and robust from hunting.
"Now, if you're quite finished with your hilarious comedy routine, perhaps you could change me back? Owls aren't supposed to speak... ponish. It's very difficult on my vocal cords." It seemed to cough, trying to clear its throat.
"Besides, you have other responsibilities! Making sure Ponyville's weather is capably handled, Rainbow Dash was the captain of the local weather team, and now we need another decent captain. And with your wingspan, I doubt you'd be up to the task."
"Have you even checked on Fluttershy's animals? They need feeding more than once per day. And each requires special care. Not to mention there is still some rubble left to be cleaned, and parties need to be planned without Pinkie here."
The owl rambled on like an old school teacher, cutting through any sort of charm his cuddly appearance gave.
Discord seemed to tune out the owl's scolding as he ran his griffin's claw through his beard, seeming to observe the creature with interest, "Yes, yes, I am well aware of the list of chores Twilight and her friends had given me."
"But… don't think it's all… a bit much?" He'd fully unrolled the scroll, presenting it to the owl as it rolled through the park, stretching at least a few yards, "I may be the all-mighty, all-powerful Lord Of Chaos Discord, but I'm only one creature!"
"Much?! That's what the princess and her friends accomplish every day! Why did you volunteer yourself if you weren't capable of such a task?" The owl hissed.
Discord disregarded him, "Seeing as Twilight has either forgotten you in the chaos that was having her house destroyed, or you were simply absent during the week of packing. But it seems that you will have to put in a little effort around here now."
The draconeequs would snag the list and pinpoint a list of all the animals he was obligated to take care of. Owlowiscious was not present on the list, "Now, seeing that I have given you the gift of speech, isn't it only fair that you assist me in my endeavors as my… personal assistant."
The owl raised his wings defensively, insulted by Discord's accusatory reproach, "How dare you insinuate that Twilight would forget about me! I'm her pet and second assistant! She knows I am a predator animal and must hunt, so she lets me come and go as I please. Frankly, I was lucky that day; I decided to sleep in the Everfree Forest the day before her castle was destroyed..."
The owl narrowed its gaze, "And what do you mean, I'm going to put in the effort? This is your job. I'm simply ensuring that YOU don't shirk any of your duties. This isn't a gift; this is you breaking the laws of nature so YOU can slack off!"
Discord yawned, "Owl-delicious, you realize everything I do or do not do has a purpose. I'm sure you realize that everything I do is to maintain and spread chaos within the world. The reason I took this job is because Twilight is spreading order and harmony through Equestria and beyond."
"Now, what do you think my job is, hm?" Discord said with a playful smile, "Now, don't get your feathers in a twist because I simply decided to do something that was in my nature to do."
He'd teleport beside the bird, "So Hooter, do you see what my angle is now? I am helping, but it will most certainly be in the most chaotic way possible."
"It's OWL-icious, not Hooter or Owl-delicious; you're just being insulting on purpose now." The owl huffed.
"Oh, that's rich. You, helping!" Owlicious laughed, which sounded very bizarre coming from an avian such as himself, "I think Spike would be more capable of running Ponyville over you!"
Discord smirked, gently petting the owl's head, "Oh please, did you forget about the democratic institution of our dear Mayor? I've been working with her for days. Do you know how hard it is to keep your physical existence as a being of pure chaos at a civil board meeting!?"
"Oh, I can just feel myself ceasing to exist at the mere thought of coffee and another hour-long presentation on Ponyville's tax money and annual budget!"
Discord snapped a claw as he provided himself a small cloud of cotton candy, taking a large bite out of it, "You see, I've been a very good boy, all things considered," mumbled Discord, mouth full of candy.
"Now, all I ask of you is to help me. Do you want me to tone down the chaos? Do you want me to help more directly? Then you have to step up, or I'll overwork myself and cease to exist!"
"I am not diminishing Madam Mayor Mare's position, but Princess Twilight and her friends have significant roles in this town. You can't simply skimp over them because you don't feel like it!" Owlicious shoved Discord's paw away, his feathers ruffling up in disdain.
He stared at Discord unblinking, there was apparent distaste in his gaze, but he couldn't help but see the logic in it. If anything, he could keep an eye on the draconeequs and ensure he didn't make a mess of things.
"... Fine. But I am keeping you to a SCHEDULE. You will not be missing anything, and there will only be a break for lunch. Otherwise, this is a JOB, not chores," Owlicious puffed up his chest, "You should consider it an honor to help this community."
Discord pinched his cheek, "Oh don't you worry, your fuzzy little head, I promise I'll be good after all; I am redeemed."
With a snap of his claw, he'd summon pen and paper, "Now then, let's get to work, shall we?"