//------------------------------// // Chapter 9: Can We Keep Her? // Story: Unchanging Truths // by Rego //------------------------------// “Morning sleepyhead. Well, afternoon rather.” Applejack watched from her cushion next to the bed as Chrysalis blinked the sleep from her eyes. The bleary mare yawned, unceremoniously showing her vicious maw of serrated teeth, before smacking her lips. “Hope ya don’t mind me giving ya a little snack,” Applejack said as she held a comb up briefly before getting back to work. “Where am I?” Chrys asked groggily as half-lidded eyes wandered about the room. “Back on the farm. It’s a little after lunch and I thought I’d give ya a little brushup before heading back out.” A contented smile crept across the queen’s face from the pampering. She shimmied into a more comfortable spot, enjoying the warmth around her. Applejack had never seen the mare look so happy as she nearly hit the hay again. As their eyes met, Chrysalis’ gaze shot open with sudden clarity. The mare popped up in the bed, almost taking the comb with her as her vision flitted around the rustic bedroom. “Woah there, Chrys!” Chrysalis gripped the bundle of sheets closer to her chest as her breathing picked up. “What happened? Why am I here?” Chrysalis erratically swiveled her head trying to detect any threats around her. “You were just asleep for a spell.” “How long?” Chrysalis demanded as her usual grumpiness returned. “Reckon a little over a day. No need to get antsy, Chrys. How’re you feeling?” “Don’t try to change the subject!” Chrysalis slammed her hooves down on the mattress. “Where are they?” Applejack frowned sternly as she pressed down on Chrysalis’ shoulder, guiding the bedded bug back under the covers. “That ain’t how this is gonna pan out, sugarcube. Not until you’ve cooled off a bit.” “I don’t want to cool off!” Chrysalis started pitching a fit to break free, but she was in no condition to put up much of a fight. “Let me go!” “Not until you’ve had some love.” AJ found it a mite unsettling how easy it was to hold her back. She wasn’t even pressing down that hard. “Didn’t wanna force feed ya while you were sleeping, so you’re running a little low, Chrys.” Chrysalis continued to struggle, kicking her legs as she feebly tried to escape from under AJ’s firm hoof. “I wasn’t done with them!” “Trust me, you were more than a little done after Luna knocked ya out cold.” “No!” Chrysalis begged, shaking her head back and forth. “No-no-no! Please! They can’t do this to me!” “They ain’t doing nothing to ya, Chrys.” Chrysalis said nothing as she grit her teeth and tried to channel her magic. Applejack frowned deeply and quickly hit the squirming bug on the horn, interrupting her channeling as she recoiled from the impact. “Would you knock it off already? If you can’t even deal with a little bonk on the noggin, what’d ya think is gonna happen if I let ya run out there to raise a fuss about something already done?” “But you don’t understand! They can’t apologize!” “Why not?” “You wouldn’t understand.” “I might be a little slow on the uptake, but I’m a good listener when I need to be. Even if I don’t get it, talking about it might make you feel better.” “What would be the point? You’re prey!” “Well this prey here’s gonna make sure her predator gets fed something,” She picked up the old comb she’d dropped and held it in front of Chrysalis’ face. “I got a good comb and plenty of combing to do. So how about while I work on your mane, you think up a good answer for why I should let you chase after your kin. Maybe I’ll let you outta bed if it’s a good enough excuse. Deal?” Chrysalis fumed but fell back onto the bed with her forelegs crossed in a petulant huff. The farmer had to hold back her laugh seeing the cute mental gymnastics being displayed by her bedridden captive’s face. AJ could see the girl’s face shift as she shuffled through ideas to say and discard them. Chrys’ meandering gaze ended at Applejack’s hooves, giving her pause seeing the work she was doing on her mane. “Why do you have a comb like that anyway?” “This old thing? Found it in the nightstand here,” AJ answered as she tapped the old furniture. “Huh. It doesn’t look like an apple.” “Well, apples are flowers first.” “I know that! I mean that’s not an apple flower.” Applejack turned her hoof up to a better look of the flower. The yellow colors and petal edges certainly weren’t any sort of apple growing on the farm, but she didn’t know what it was off the top of her head. “Not everything’s an apple on the farm, sugarcube. This belonged to my momma, Buttercup, and she married into the family. We’re in hers and my daddy Bright Mac’s room if ya didn’t notice.” “Why did they let me in here?” Applejack chuckled wistfully. “Well, it’d be mighty difficult for them to raise a fuss about it. They’ve been gone more than a few years now.” Chrysalis tensed up and averted her eyes. “Oh…” “Yeah. This was the only room in the house big enough for a you-sized bed. Their mattress was a bit old anyway, so probably for the best that we swapped it out. Funnily enough, ya were too big for their queen, your highness,” Applejack teased. “Why would you bother with that?” “Lotsa questions for someone that’s supposed to be thinking about answering mine,” Applejack remarked as she focused on Chrys’ mane. “We all talked about it, and if ya were still wanting to try your hooves at farmwork, the room’s yours.” Chrysalis’ eyes widened. “What?” “It’s the least we could do if you’re working the farm with us. We got the room and we’re a bit out of the way. Didn’t wanna make ya wake up before we all did to get here. Plus, you didn’t seem to like the castle much. Maybe you’d be comfier out here?” Chrysalis said nothing as her eyes wandered around the room. Applejack joined her guest’s tour as she continued her work on the mare’s mane. There wasn’t much in the way of room decor anymore. Luna wanted Chrysalis out of Twilight’s castle in a space she might be more comfortable with, and the old master was a perfect candidate. The problem was getting it ready for her arrival. It was weird seeing the walls stripped bare of all their family photos. Outside of an old painting of the first barn they raised together and a picture of her mom’s favorite flower, she’d wiped out almost every trace of them ever living there. When she’d asked for some help, Luna countered with a solemn request for Applejack to do it herself. She was a bit cross at first, but as she worked on the room, she realized why the princess had asked the way she did. The more Applejack sifted through, the more her work would be stopped in its tracks. She’d stumble across something simple like a loose photo, a forgotten perfume bottle, a crumpled ticket stub to a fair, or momma’s favorite scarf, and then time would slip away as the memories rushed in. At least an hour had passed before she’d managed to fill the first box and tape it up, but it got faster as she worked through it all. After stowing most of it away, she’d chosen a few pictures into her room and kept the scarf. It’d need a good wash to get the musty smell off, but the last dab of momma’s favorite scent would work nicely for now. Applejack had taken it to bed with her and cuddled it close. She couldn’t remember what she’d dreamed about, but she could remember seeing Buttercup and her cascading orange locks. Luna had been right. Applejack needed to take the time to clean the room, alone. She’d been the only one resisting packing Bright Mac and Buttercup away, even if she’d forgotten it. The princess had known, and helped her move in the best way possible so new life could finally enter the room. Applejack cleared her throat as she focused back onto Chrysalis' mane. “I know this ain’t exactly the royal quarters you’re probably used to, but it is the homestead’s master bedroom. Ain’t a more important sounding room in the whole house.” Chrysalis still said nothing, her eyes drifting back to watch the farmer quietly work on her gossamer mane. She could feel the love she felt for her momma flow through the comb and into the changeling. It felt different than usual, but it was a different kind of love. It felt so nice to feel it again with every stroke. “So, are you okay?” Applejack asked, killing the silence that was letting her think too much. “I’m hungry,” Chrys mumbled. Applejack smiled. “I can see that, but I’m trying my best over here. Cut me some slack, Chrys,” she joked as her voice cracked a bit. The changeling raised her brow at her captor. “You… you didn’t offer a hug when I woke up.” “Oh yeah. Guess I didn’t. Did you want one?” “No,” Chrysalis lied. Applejack snorted with a laugh. “And that’s why I didn’t offer it.” Chrysalis’ eyes wandered to the window. She sat up slightly in the bed to get a better peek. Rows and rows of apple trees ran as far as the eye could see, retreating towards the hills and meeting the border of the carrot farm next door. While the trees closer to the house were clean as a whistle, the ones further out glowed with red sparkling apples ready for harvesting. “Don’t you have other work to do besides keeping me here?” Chrysalis asked. “Eeyup. I still got at least a row or two to buck before calling it a day.” “And you’re behind on it.” “That’s putting it lightly. I caught up a bit while you were sleeping, but that’s just how harvest season goes around these parts. Maybe when Apple Bloom’s outta school in a few years, if her talent doesn’t take her somewhere far, she can help out when she ain’t doing what she’s supposed to do with that mark of hers.” “You don’t want to starve though, right?” Chrysalis pressed. “And I don’t want you starving, neither. I can always ask my friends in a pinch to pitch in on farmwork, but this here is something only I can do.” Chrysalis scoffed. “You’re giving me love when I haven’t even bucked a tree or sold one apple yet.” “And ya won’t be doing either one if you can’t put up a fight, ya bedbug. The last thing I wanna find is you twitching out in the orchard.” Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “Oh please, I’m not that bad.” “That’s what I've been trying to tell ya, Chrys,” Applejack agreed with a wink. Chrysalis turned back to AJ with a flat look. She shrugged in reply. “Well, I thought it was funny. More to your point though, Thorax and Ocellus thought otherwise. I remember him fretting over you even standing up.” “He was just being dramatic. I can stand up just fine.” “Was he right though? Does it hurt?” Chrysalis scoffed as she laid back down. “I’m always hungry.” “Ain’t what I asked, and you know it.” Chrysalis said nothing, but the silence was everything Applejack needed to hear. “Please, Chrys, just lemme give you a quick hug instead of this slow-going brushing.” “This is fine. More would just be a waste of time.” Applejack set her eyes firmly on the changeling. “I don’t see how making sure you ain’t hurting is a waste.” Chrysalis’ head listed away from Applejack. “Because it doesn’t matter. All the pain, all the hunger, it’s pointless. It’s always been pointless.” Applejack wasn’t about to hear any of that without a fight. She tried to think of her momma more as she continued her work on Chrys’ mane. “We all struggle through life, sugarcube. It takes hard work and gumption, but it’s all worth it to be around our friends and family.” “I’ve survived for so long. I kept them and their offspring alive for centuries, maybe even millennia. I don’t even remember now. And now, it turns out that they’d be better off without me?” “That ain’t exactly fair to you, Chrys.” “So? Life has never been fair to me. What I want is ‘evil’ and ‘cruel’ and benefits no one but me. I’m the villain, remember?” Chrysalis grumbled as her fangs dug into her lips until two green dots started to form. Luna had mentioned that she’d noticed scars along her lip from biting them. Applejack reached into the nightstand and pulled out a small opal with a light blue sigil etched into its center. “Here. Use this instead.” “Use that to what?” She tapped the gem and a midnight blue shield grew around it. “A stress ball. It’s a gift from Luna. Bite down on this instead of yourself.” “Wha—I’m not a dog, AJ!” Chrysalis barked back in defense. “No, you aren’t, Chrys. But biting your lip with chompers like those ain’t helping ya none.” Chrysalis snatched the orb with her hooves and glared between it and the farmer with growing ire. She ground her teeth, drawing even more blood as her eye twitched in utter contempt. “So, what, am I your patient now? “Neigh, you are mine, Chrysalis.” Chrysalis lost her grip on the ball in surprise and fumbled it as Princess Luna stepped through the doorway with Zecora in tow. “Greetings, Chrysalis. I hope this new day finds you well.” “No thanks to you,” Chrysalis growled. “I apologize for compelling you to slumber with a spell. You must be hungry after being asleep for so long.” “Starving, as usual. Come here to finish our pleasant conversation before you rudely interrupted me?” Luna stopped momentarily, her face becoming unreadable as she regarded the changeling. “We can discuss that later—” “No. We’ll discuss it now. Right now!” Luna nodded patiently. “I see. If this is the course you wish to take, I must ask you a question first: what do you recall from yesterday?” “Oh, nothing much. Watching a few apples be sold, being humiliated in front of my former subjects and nemesis, and oh! That’s right. Who could forget the little part where you all were trying to destroy my life!” “I see. I’m sorry you take the Concordant’s apology so personally. You should disregard the amends they wished to make for past mistakes.” “They were only mistakes to you, prey!” “We are not your prey, Chrysalis,” Luna stated firmly. “You may feed on our love, but those willing to share will gladly sustain you within reason. From our Harmonious hearts, love springs eternal. Given the right avenues, we can share our love with you, even if you cannot respond in kind. Knowing my dark past, it would be hypocritical of me to do otherwise.” “So you’re fine with serving yourselves up to me on a silver platter. Noted.” Chrysalis brushed the kindness aside like an annoying gnat. “Now stop trying to change the subject!” “It was not my intention to—” Luna shut her mouth and paused once more. “Sorry, I can see how you might think that. Still, this is important. Take a deep breath and focus. What was the last thing you recall from yesterday’s meeting?” “I was yelling at Ocellus.” Luna paused again. “And after that?” “What do you mean after that? You blasted me off after I ignored your warning to get off her.” “Are you certain?” Luna asked again. “Of course I am! I’m a changeling! You might remember that I have to recall even the slightest detail of anything I see perfectly!” “Please. I meant no disrespect. I promise there is a point to this. Can you tell me what you felt?” Chrysalis seethed at the questions. “I was angry, obviously! Upset that you were all trying to take things away from me. After I exposed that poor excuse of a stunt Thorax was pulling with Ocellus, you warned me to back off before shooting me! Then you cornered me with that stupid shield spell of yours.” “I am sorry. It is true that I approached you with my shield readied on both occasions. but you are conflating the incident with Pharynx on the outskirts of town with the meeting. It was my sister, not I, that commanded you to step away from Ocellus.” “Don’t try to fool me! Celestia did nothi—” Chrysalis stopped as her eyes bugged slightly. “Wait. No, you’re right. She did.” “Was there anything after that you can recall?” Luna shot a subtle glance to Applejack and to the comb in her hooves. With the message received, she started working on Chrysalis’ mane again in long, methodical strokes like she’d told her to do. “If not, there is no need to dwell upon it. We can address any gaps at a later time when you are ready.” “Don’t belittle me! It’s all coming back to me now anyway. I backed off and—I backed off and-and I was so angry and hungry and—” Chrysalis cut herself off as she stared at nothing. “And you were there with your shield out again.” Chrysalis’ hooves wandered up to her shoulder as she started rubbing. “And your shield was out. And you were saying something.” “Nothing before that?” “There was nothing before that!” Chrysalis fired back. She sneered bitterly for a moment until reality began to sink as her eyes fluttered with confusion. “But, there had to be. I was yelling at Ocellus at the table, but then I was looking at you from the ground.” “Please calm yourself, Chrysalis. That is all I wanted to know.” “You calm down! I’m not crazy! I-I just need to remember how I got there is all.” “I would never call you crazy. You may be suffering from a gap in your memory from stress. It should come back in time.” “I’m not stressed! I’m perfectly fine,” Chrysalis spat as her eye twitched. “Just shut up, and let me think! Okay?” “There is no need, but very well,” Luna said evenly. “Think. Just, think.” Chrysalis chewed her lip, muttering the events of the meeting to herself as she kept trying to jog her memory. Luna retrieved the discarded stress ball from the floor. “Please use this instead of your lip.” “I’m not biting my lip!” she hissed through her clenched teeth. “I must draw the line here. You will not use physical pain to distract from your emotional distress. We are here to help you.” Chrysalis reared up to Luna and crossed her horn with the princess’. For her part, Luna didn’t even flinch from the sudden charge. “Stop it! I don’t need help, especially not from you!” “I am inclined to disagree, but I cannot force you to accept my assistance. I only wish to assist you.” Chrysalis’ frown sank lower as she tapped her hoof impatiently to mask her shaking. “How magnanimous for somepony who wanted to throw me in their rock collection a few days ago.” Applejack didn't know if it was Chrysalis’ tone, subtle fear, or the glacial pace of the conversation, but she was getting sick and tired of dancing around the point. “For peat’s sake, Chrys! Do you wanna know what happened or not?” Luna quickly turned to the farmer. “Quiet, Applejack! Do not—” “Don’t what? String her along while she’s trying to remember what she did?” Applejack asked with a derisive snort. She’d had it with these needless mind games from Luna. “She obviously doesn't remember. Why’re you messing with her like this?” “I am not messing with anypony,” Luna reprimanded with absolute authority. “I cannot explain my reasoning, but trust me and still yourself.” “‘What I did’?” The changeling narrowed her eyes and turned to Applejack for answers. “What exactly did I do, Applejack?” “Do not answer that question, Applejack!” Luna stomped her hoof in anger, silencing the both of them. She closed her eyes and took another calming breath, but she was boiling something fierce under her serenity. “You did nothing, Chrysalis.” “Nope. I’m not buying that bald faced lie.” Chrysalis tilted her head as she considered Luna’s words and giggled as she cleared her throat. “Must’ve been pretty bad if it’s getting to you, dear sister,” she teased with Celestia’s voice. Luna whispered something under her breath in a weird language AJ’d never heard before turning back to Chrysalis. “Something almost occurred, but I stopped it before it got too out of hoof.” “Not the way our dear Applejack said it,” the fake sun princess tittered with a vicious smirk. “So what’d I do to you that was so bad, you decided to put me down with your stellar magic, your royal weakness?” “For the love of—You just tried to bite Thorax, and she stopped ya before ya could, okay?” AJ answered, her patience finally drained. Chrysalis' act dropped entirely. Her ears flopped down and her shoulders slumped in disbelief. “W-what?” “Silence, Applejack!” Luna roared. “You are not helping!” Applejack snorted at the princess. “What’s not helping is torturing her with something we all know happened! Why can’t ya just say she tried to bite the head off of—” “BE STILL!” The princess boomed with galactic fury. Luna wrapped a silencing spell around AJ’s head, stopping her from uttering another word. “Curse your thoughtless, brutal honesty! How much more damage must be wrought before you are satisfied?” Applejack stewed in silent frustration and looked back at Chrysalis. Sure it was harsh, but she’d already done a lot worse in the past. The big girl could take it. “I tried to bite him? Not slap him or hit him, but actually bite him?” Chrysalis took a shuddering breath and looked at her hooves. Or not… “You’re lying. I know I’m a monster to you all, but I wouldn’t do that to them. No matter how much they change, I’m still a queen. I’d only bite…” Chrysalis’ lips trembled, dancing around her vicious teeth. “Prey.” Luna trotted in front of Chrysalis to focus the former queen’s attention on her. “Listen to me. There was an incident, yes. Something tried to attack Thorax during the meeting, but I stopped it before any harm could befall him. Do not concern yourself with it now. We pushed too hard.” “Stop talking, I’m thinking!” Chrysalis roared as her breathing quickened. “Your children are safe, Chrysalis. They. Are. Safe,” Luna assured, her unblinking focus wrestling for the changeling’s attention. “It was a painful day for all of us, but you took the brunt of it, and for that, I apologize.” “Would you shut up already? I’m not crazy! I know I’m not crazy… right?” Chrysalis hit the side of her head with her hooves. “Think! Think, you stupid brain! I’m supposed to remember everything! Every detail! I remember your stupid names! Applejack, Zecora, Luna, Big Mac, Apple Bloom, Bright Mac, Buttercup, even that stupid mutt Winona!” “It is fine, Chrysalis. What you experienced might've been dissociation. You were not there experiencing what was happening. It was not your fault.” “But I was there! I saw your stupid shield! You weren’t talking loud enough! I was just so angry, and hungry! I-I couldn’t hear you and…” Chrysalis trailed off as she bit down harder and harder. “Bite into the shielding, please. You are already suffering enough. Do not subject yourself to more, needlessly.” Chrysalis' gaze flitted between the ball suspended in midnight magic and Luna herself. Surrendering to the pressure, she tore the ball from the royal aura with her hooves and chomped down. Any relief was short lived as she caught her reflection in the mirror, the starving stray with her chew toy. Any shred of dignity left filled her eyes and began flowing out at the sight of herself. The mare collapsed onto her back and covered her eyes as her frustrated screams leaked out of her mouth. Applejack’s heart sank at the changeling’s self-pitying wails. She should’ve listened to Luna. The princess leveled a soft glare of her own at Applejack, letting her know she was going to have many words with her later. With the damage done, the princess dispelled the muting spell around the farmer to put her magic to work on patching up the changeling’s lower lip. Applejack pulled her hat off. “I’m so sorry, Chrys. I didn’t mean to…” Chrys said nothing, only turning away from her in the bed and curling tighter under the covers. Applejack felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Zecora. She’d completely forgotten the zebra was there in the first place. Her friend pulled her away from the bedside and towards the door. “The two of us should wait outside, At least until her tears have dried.” Following behind her friend, Applejack stole one more glance at the bedside. Luna retrieved the cushion and sat next to her patient with a supportive hoof on her shoulder. As Applejack closed the door behind her, Luna turned to face AJ. There was no bitterness or anger, only a palpable disappointment. Feeling Zecora’s pull at her hoof, Applejack let Zecora lead the way as she kept her eyes trained on the floor. They came to a stop and Applejack saw that she was in her room. Zecora shut the door behind them for some privacy. Expecting a stern talking to for completely screwing up with Chrysalis, her friend simply pulled her into a comforting hug. “I’m sorry that happened, Applejack. I know your words weren’t meant to attack.” “I don’t get it, Zecora,” Applejack muttered. “I thought I was helping. All I did was tell her the truth.” “There are times the mind becomes far too upset, And washes away things we’d rather forget. From what I could glean, in this situation, Chrysalis suffered from dissociation.” Applejack quirked her brow at the word. “Mind running that last part by me again?” Zecora hummed to herself in contemplation. “Have you ever reached the end of a street, And found that the time was less than concrete? Or perhaps when you’re working and enter a flow, You have no way of knowing where your head will go?” “I do kinda just zone out sometimes when I’m on a delivery for sure, or get into a groove when apple-bucking and just kinda go off of muscle memory, but that’s just normal boredom, right? This disa-social-whatever sounds like a bad thing.” Zecora laughed politely and shook her head. “It’s normal for us to idly ponder, And lose ourselves briefly while our minds wander. But there are those who, when acutely distressed, Will retreat inward, and their self is repressed. “In the latter’s case, when they’re completely withdrawn, Memories become clouded or are simply gone! From what I could gather from the bedroom’s drama, The gap in her mind was in response to trauma.” Applejack sucked in her lips with a frown as she thought about what happened yesterday at the end. She’d seen that fuming rage before with Pharynx when she’d torn up Luna’s shield and when she’d broken that mirror in the castle, but when she’d lunged at Thorax was simply on another level. Even after waking up, the first thing on her mind was stopping his plan to apologize for everything the Changeling Kingdom had done. The question was why. “Hey Zecora? I know you don’t like talking about it, but when everypony in Ponyville was scared of you, did you ever ask yourself if you’d done something wrong?” A grimace flashed across Zecora’s face. AJ knew it was a touchy topic with the mare, since she’d been afraid of her too. “There were many times when I would question your fear, I thought I had trespassed in a way most severe! But lucky for me, that’s all in the past, Thanks to your sister, I’m not an outcast.” Applejack pressed. “But what if you had, though?” Zecora shrugged. “Then I’d reap what I’d sow.” “Even if you thought it wasn’t wrong?” “I’m not sure I’m following along.” “Like for instance, you were living in the Everfree Forest when we defeated Nightmare Moon, right?” Applejack asked and received a nod for Zecora. “What if instead you beat her, but none of us knew and you got blamed for Princess Celestia’s disappearance? You would’ve saved the world and been hated for it.” “The Princess would repair that misunderstanding. Her soul would despair to see such unkind branding.” Applejack smacked her forehead. “Okay, that's fair. Let’s just pretend she didn’t.” “This example of yours is rather extreme, What does this question have to do with the queen?” “You know she’s against the Changeling Concordant apologizing for… I guess everything they ever did to us? You know, including stuff we don’t know about?” “I’ve heard our new friends want to make amends.” “And you know that Chrysalis is totally against it?” “Her opinion was most clear that she wished to interfere.” “It’s what set her off into that bad mind wandering you mentioned. I tried to ask her about it, but she wouldn’t give me a straight answer. All she said was that I wouldn’t understand because I’m prey. Not sure what to do with that bit of information.” “Her prey, you say?” The medicine mare unlatched her saddlebag and set it in front of her. She rustled through her potions and pouches until she pulled out a viciously sharp piece of wood. Turning it upside down, Applejack recognized the curved barb as a timberwolf fang. “Perhaps the reason our approach is ineffective, Is because we lack her predator perspective. Some would call timberwolves a terrible a blight, While forgetting the forest is their birthright.” “I already know that Chrys’ eating habits aren’t really in her control. I don’t hold it against her. I just wish she’d see it that way.” “Don’t limit love as a means to survive. All creatures need it in order to thrive. It shows in so many ways to explore. Platonic, familial, selfless, and more.” “The passion I feel when I kiss my flower, Renews my life with its wonderful power. To lack her precious touch now? The thought fills me with dread, I don’t know how I ever slept alone in my bed…” For the longest time, she’d written off the “evil” changelings as monsters. They abused the trust of family and friends by tricking them with a disguise to feed themselves any kind of love they could get. They were the kind of dishonest critters that deserved a swift buck to the head on sight. But then she’d saved their leader in the forest. After watching Chrysalis collapse from starvation, their story had gotten mighty more complicated, and AJ was still struggling to get her head around it.  Queen Chrysalis was a heartless ruler who watched over a loveless nation. Now, her former subjects could love themselves, and they didn’t need to steal it anymore. Chrys was out of a job. It sounded like a good way to retire, but she didn’t see it that way. It was wrong, and they couldn’t apologize for it. Why? “Butter my brains and serve me up to a dragon, cause I’m fried,” Applejack moaned as she sunk her face into her hooves. “Chrys is right. I don’t understand it at all. She could just let anyone willing to give her some love feed her, including the changelings. Why is she being so stubborn about it? Is she just an idiot?” “You, Applejack, would know better than I. Is there a thread woven through all her lies?” That was a big question, too big really. She’d been lying since she met her in the Everfree, or rather when she ran into “Classy” the first time. It’d almost be better to ask when she wasn’t lying. Wait. When wasn’t Chrysalis lying? Applejack tried to think back. The changeling had lied about everything. Even when she was being her most truthful, it was drenched in so much hatred that it felt insincere. There had to be a time Chrysalis was completely honest, a time when there were no ulterior motives. She’d either have to be invincible or have nothing to lose, either at the top or bottom of her world. “Right you are, Princess. And as queen of the changelings, it is up to me to find food for my subjects.” “S-silence! I-I pro-pro-provide food for my subjects-s-s. They s-steal l-love for me. I don’t steal f-from them-m-m.” Feeding her subjects. No matter what it was, Chrysalis always seemed to go back to that. She said it like a mantra all the time, even now when she had no subjects to provide love to. It didn’t make sense, but she clung to the idea like a cutie mark. It was the first thing she said when she was unmasked and the idea she was gonna go out on. So, if it wasn’t just about survival, what else was it about? “You won’t ever remember how I raised you, how I kept you safe, how I cared for all of you!”  Chrysalis wasn’t just a queen, she was some sort of “all-mother” as Thorax had put it. AJ wasn’t sure if it was an honorary title, but it sounded like she cared a lot about it. “You don’t think I loved you? Of course I didn’t! I never have, and I never will, because I never could! That would require love in the first place, and I never have any to spare, you ungrateful leeches!” She was a mother who couldn’t love her children. She was always hungry, and she had to feed herself while providing love for everyone. “How dare you apologize after everything I did for you! I… I hate you! I hate all of you!” Applejack’s eyes wandered to her wall to look at the pictures she’d moved from her parents' room. Some had been framed, while the others had found their ways into forgotten drawers. Even now, she could feel the love shining through all the moments she wished to relive with them. She’d give anything to get a big ol’ hug from her daddy or brush her momma’s hair just one more time. At least she still had the rest of her family: her little sister to care for, her big brother’s bond, and her granny’s loving meals to savor. Applejack paused. “Granny’s loving meals?” “Well, whatcha think?” Granny Smith asked between bites. “I think it’s pony food,” Chrysalis answered vaguely. “Darn tootin!” Granny laughed as she shoveled another spoonful into her mouth. “This here is my cream potato soup. It’s got carrots, onions, potatoes of course, and everything else that’ll help put some weight on those withered withers.” Chrysalis sighed. “Thanks.” “I even tried cooking it with extra love considering AJ said that’s what you eat,” the old mare bragged. “Make sure you eat all that up.” The changeling eyed the soup and took another bite. “I don’t taste any love in this.” “Nonsense, dear. I put my heart n’ soul into every dish I make. It’s what gives my cooking that extra kick.” “You can’t cook love. I’ve tried.” Applejack felt a nudge on her shoulder. Looking to her side, Zecora was frowning in deep concern. “Is something wrong? You have started to shake. Why do you seem on the verge of heartbreak?” Applejack forced the lump down her throat, hoping she wouldn’t throw up the moment she started talking. “What if Chrysalis really loves her children, but she can’t really love them?” “Quite an interesting proposition, But isn’t that also a contradiction? Part of the reason for this sordid affair,  Is the fact that the queen has no love to share.” “Exactly. She can’t share love, but she feels it, right? She’s gotta, considering she’s always hungry for it. Ocellus said the only love she has is for herself. Well, I know I love myself the best when I’m working the farm. I feel the best about myself when I see folks smile as they bite into one of our apples, or when I’m apple-bucking like my daddy taught me.” Zecora tapped her chin in thought. “If it’s love of the self, then that would mean, She can only love herself as their queen. Behind furious hatred that scares others away, Dwells a fallen ruler who sees her children as prey.” With that, it clicked. Applejack finally understood. Granny Smith loved cooking food for her family.  Queen Chrysalis found love for her subjects. Granny loved making big meals for her grandkids and any company that happened by. Chrysalis found the biggest sources of love she could find and feasted alongside them. Granny wanted everypony to know about their Apple Family Hospitality. Chrysalis wanted everyone to know that she was the one who provided them love. Even though Granny always had enough love to go around, the matron of the Apple family showed it best by feeding her kin. Even if Chrysalis couldn’t share any love, the all-mother of the changelings would try her best to show it by feeding her children. And even if they didn’t need Granny to do it, she could always share the love in other ways. But now that they didn’t need Chrysalis, she could never show them any love ever again. Forget butterflies, there was a swarm of ornery hornets stinging the insides of her stomach. No wonder she’d compared Princess Cadance to a sandwich, all the attacks against Equestria must’ve been like an endless buffet in Chrysalis’ eyes. Her kin apologizing for all of it would be like throwing every apple pie Granny Smith ever made in her face at once. Applejack hopped off the bed and trotted towards her family photos and all the love that was in there on display. It was so easy to feel her parents' love, even now when they were gone. All she had to do was remember them fondly and feel the love she’d learned from them. It would always be with her, even if she forgot the details. The memories of their love would be bittersweet inside her until the day she died. For Chrys, it’d just be bitterness and loss. A hollow memory of love that dwindled away. Applejack tried to picture what it’d be like to feel nothing but loss, just to glean even a fraction of what Chrys was going through. “She was right, Zecora. I didn’t know how she felt. Not even close. I can’t even imagine.” “Though often forgotten, this matter of late, Reminds me that love is the root of true hate. An instinct we carry to guard friends and family, Makes us despise what would bring utter calamity. “And this distance she keeps must be for their protection, She can never risk tasting her children’s affection. To do otherwise would risk them all to suffer, The endless void of their devouring mother.” “This ain’t just wrong, it’s worse than wrong! It’s like a level of wrongness I didn’t even think was possible!” Applejack hit her hoof on the wall as she stared at her younger self practically drowning in love. “I was a dang fool to think I could help her. Where can ya even start with something like that?” “But my friend, you have already started, You showed her that you are tender-hearted. For you can guide her and shine from above, A beacon of safe, compassionate love.” “But, I can barely get my head around it.” “You’re trying to learn—” “Learn? Even if I’m only half-right, what good’s that gonna do in the face of all of this?”  “It shows your concern.” Applejack leaned her head against the wall, knocking her hat off. Sure, it was just a bunch of guesswork on hers and Zecora’s part, but if they were even remotely close to reality, it was utterly devastating. “If it’s too much for you, I’d give up now. Do not be ashamed to throw in the towel. If this relation is what you wish to pursue, Your first obligation is to take care of you.” “I don’t wanna give up on her, but I don’t know if I’m gonna be helpful either. How am I supposed to replace a family?” Zecora laughed heartily and shook her head. She took her saddlebag off and began searching through it, pushing around vials and baubles of mystical nature. The zebra’s eyes sparkled as her hoof stopped and picked up a tiny wooden frame, no larger than her hoof. “It’s silly to set such an impossible goal. Such matters are far beyond our measly control. It might not be much, but she won’t be alone. It always feels better when you have a home.” Applejack approached her friend and received the little window into Zecora’s world. Within its borders was a close-up photograph of Zecora kissing the side of Fleur’s head to the stalwart guard’s glowing embarrassment. The picture was so tiny that the farmer couldn’t make much else out aside from the kiss. She had no clue if they were on a date in Canterlot or taking a personal picture in Zecora’s hut in the Everfree Forest. But that was the point. Applejack knew wherever it was didn’t matter. After all, home wasn’t a place, it was the folks around you that made the difference. There was nothing that could replace what Chrys had lost, but Applejack would gladly show the all-mother what her family was all about.  By her count, two ponies and a dog had to be better than nothing. It’d be four if her siblings could warm up to the bug. “Guess Chrys is moving in if she still wants to give the Apples a chance.” “Wonderful! My work will not go to waste, Otherwise, this craft would not have a place.” Reaching into her bag again, Zecora carefully fished out something the size of a dinner plate that was wrapped in paper. She gently unfolded it and revealed a beautiful series of rings dangling from a large woven hoop. It glowed with an eerie, mystical aura of midnight blue and teal, with a magical circle spun from various silky threads. They shimmered with a gossamer green as blue pegasus feathers hung from below. “What in the world is this, Zecora?” “A buffalo craft spun from regal hairs and feathers, A dreamcatcher that will bind two souls together.” “It’s really pretty looking, but what’s it for?” “When Chrysalis sleeps, there are no dreams that take shape, There’s an illusion the princess called the Mindscape. The princess forced her in with her magical dreams, But in the realm of the changelings, the queen reigns supreme.” Applejack took another gander at the dreamcatcher. “And this dreamy doo-hickey here will help with that?” The medicine mare chuckled at the words, but nodded in agreement. “Well, hopefully she decides to stick around the farm. We could still use the help, and I know we owe her a fair bit of that good ol’ Apple Family Hospitality.” Zecora smiled warmly and gathered herself before sliding off the bed as well. “I know it’s a gift that continues to give, It’s a perk we enjoy with how close we live.” “Darn tootin! You and Fleur are always welcome here!” Applejack pulled Zecora into a hug. She was grateful to have friends like her that could help her in a pinch. It might be a struggle to help Chrysalis, maybe even impossible given what they were up against, but it’d be worth it if they could do some good for her. There was always room at Sweet Apple Acres for more. Even an “evil” changeling like Chrysalis deserved a home sweet home.