//------------------------------// // Interview with The Royal Sisters // Story: Paper Bowser: The Saga. The Epic. The Adventure! // by Darkevony //------------------------------// The marbled chambers of some pony's room were a right mess, with the smoldering craters of a 'defensive spell' marking the walls like blemishes. It had taken quite a lot of doing, but the alicorns had finally calmed down enough to have the rationale to talk. We're not asking for anything unreasonable here, just the chance to sit down to have a conversation about how they feel. You know, about their kingdom, their citizen, and the fact that they were experiencing the Princess Peach treatment of being held hostage under Lord Bowser's dominion. "We will apologize when you release us!" The blue one retorted. "Right. Well, I apologize on behalf of my sister. Unlike the other two, you don't seem to be a hostile force. Tell me, what is it that you do again and why are you intent in talking to us? Spies aren't usually this straight forward." The white one said as she placed a foreleg out to her hot-headed sibling. "Though having our every move being read like this is all sorts of strange, so we can't feel at ease with it. Are you some form of court notary per chance?" She asked, not realizing that my work was quite the contrary to the stifles of their punctual matter-of-factly writing. If they understood what the machine in my hands was for, my camera, they would know that I was a historian. That I was documenting this event in detail. And even documentaries require a little showmanship, a bit of pizazz, and style in spades! It's the shots, the angles, the words spoken. I'm here to make them look good. Well, technically this is a movie reel for making Bowser look good, if ever he won for realsies and actually became ruler of everyone, not just the Koopas. But I'm an artist first and a koopa second! I cannot make miracles occur. Still, it would do them good to relax a bit. Besides, there was a zero chance of my work being used to spy on them since Bowser stopped watching my films all together after he got defeated over at Princess Peach's castle back in '96. It didn't help that my film followed Mario's journey to best him. I was a young upstart lakitu back then. My camera work was a little shotty, but we got some nice compositions in and it really kickstarted my career. Fans loved my work. Nowadays all of my documentaries are for them, and they are, much like most of us in Bowser's legion, waiting to see him defeated yet again. "Wait, he's your king is he not? We're confused. Why would he allow this in the first place if it's not for spying? And why are you expecting him to fail?" The blue one asked. "Stop calling me 'blue one'. Our name is Luna. Princess Luna to you." Princess Luna followed up with an attitude. It was honestly incredible to see another soul who wasn't in the know of King Bowser's renowned and infamous lack of wit. I mean... you only needed to take a glance at his exterior to see how dull his interior was. Sure, he's quite a big'un for a Koopa, but do you think he got that way through training and muscles? Flabby ate his way to his size and got dosed with a little too much magic dust from Kammy and Kamek in the past. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed, and he might as well have a big L as a mark on his forehead. The two ponies laughed as they found something funny. "Well I for one trust you and your sharp mouth. I've had enough experiences to know when one's intentions are no good, but yours seem harmless enough. Well met little koopa was it? I am Princess Celestia." The Princess bowed her head in greetings. How gracious. It's not everyday lakitu's are in a position of respect with others. This was quite the welcome change. Pleasantries aside, now was the time for brass tacks. Interview with the Royal Sisters, in their personal chambers where Bowser had them locked away. "Alright, we'll play along. What do you wish to know?" Princess Luna said, still eyeing me up suspiciously. First order of business, what everyone wanted to know. Myself included. How do you feel about Lord Bowser? "Must we answer that honestly?" Princess Celestia asked, already knowing full well that the answer was yes, as much yes as possible. "Well it's hard to say. He seems like a big bully with a very naive attitude. He would've been smart to lock me in an actual jail and not in my room or have taken more measures to prevent me from using my magic to send information and requests to my faithful student, Twilight." "Sister! Are you seriously trusting this koopa-thing with that kind of information?!" Luna asked incredulously. "Princess Luna!" Princess Luna followed up with. "I've already surmised that it wouldn't hurt. Besides, I think what he said earlier is true. Oh, not to sound rude, but Bowser doesn't seem to be too smart. If anything, it's just that Witch we have to look out for, and she seems to have her claws full at the moment dealing with organizing the mess of his impulsive nature." Princess Celestia said as she thought for a bit. See? Someone gets it. But for as much as we joke, Bowser is still very ambitious and cunning in his own way. Maybe his plans are drawn together with crayons and noodle art, but they are still plans. He's only disregarding the Princess alicorns right now because he can sense their powers having weakened from the Star Rod's ability to absorb goodwill and wishes. If they were to act, they would have to do so carefully as to not incur his suspicion and wrath. "Is the wand in his hands truly doing that? If what you say is true... With this information, we could device a counter-magic. Why would you help us like this?" Princess Luna asked this like she didn't quite understand. She had already heard it though, that I am an artist first. My films are for the fans. And while I can't lend them any direct aid, I could help them indirectly in the ways I knew how. By documenting the story. With no further information left to speak about, we move on to the next set of questions. "Wait but we-" And so the next question is this. What do you know about the Star Rod? Princess Celestia magically got a quill and paper ready at this moment. "I'm afraid we know very little of it, except what that purple witch shouted in the halls. Something about wishes and goodwill." She answered. We question as to why this answer was even in the list to begin with, since it's obvious that these two regal mares wouldn't know about the fabled treasure of Mushroom Kingdom's Star Haven. It is a powerful relic that was used by the seven Star Spirits to realize the dreams and good wishes of those with pure hearts. So long as a Bowser wields the Star Rod, he'll have the incarnation of that goodwill to make his own wishes of strength and power come true. But it's not unstoppable, despite what he might say. Their magics combined, the Star Spirits are said to be powerful enough counter-act the Star Rod's own power. Though if the same could be said now in this world and gaining an incredible amount of magic from the abundance of goodwill is still up in the air. It would take quite the combined magic to level the playing field in a one-on-one battle. Princess Luna's face contorted into a small smile as she finally understood what was going on. And then frowned again in her embarrassment. "Are you really going to add this to the reel? Why do you have a need to describe our every motion!" She magically flung a pillow into the air with exasperation. I do my own stunts, so obviously that pillow missed its intended target. Moving on however, here's our next set of questions. In the Mushroom Kingdom, Bowser is famous for kidnapping a Princess known as Peach. Cumulatively over the course of his rule, Bowser has tried to kidnap her every which way in a stupefying number of times. Each time thoroughly defeated by a plumber known as Mario. Now they are living that reality for themselves, but with no Mario to save them. How does it feel to be Peachy-keen? "Maybe because I'm with my sister, I don't feel too nervous about the situation. Our captor seems to have a sense to accommodate us sensibly, which he would've been wise not to do as I have many secret passages and other useful knickknacks lying about the room." Princess Celestia answered again. Secret passages? How exciting. Did she see a lot of her own kidnappings in her days? "Not really, not until recently but it can't hurt to be too careful." She says as we turn to look at Princess Luna to get her thoughts on this. "Don't look to us. We've been on the moon for most of it." The moon she said? Oh my, what an extravagant way to avoid our questions. But we won't call her a liar on this show! No no. It's quite possible. Let's not forget General White's space program! We salute the brave efforts of traveling through space to reach its cheesy goodness. "Its not made of cheese." She answered this, purposely trying to break our collective hearts. No time to waste now. I have a cue with Bowser in a bit. On to the next question. Here's a doozy... How do you see Bowser being defeated? "If anyone can, Twilight will put a stop to Bowser's plan. We are not attuned to the elements as well as she and her friends are, so we know if she comes here, they'll be able to quickly put a stop to this Bowser fiend!" Princess Luna shouted. Which, to her chargrin, she would've been wiser to whisper about as the door to the bedroom flung open at that moment and Kammy Koopa walked in alongside Lord Bowser. I mean seriously. Who just divulges important information like that? "But Celest-" Tsk tsk. For shame. "Kekeke! So these little rocks weren't just for show? Well, you're quite a dear for spilling the beans, impudent mare!" Kammy cackled as she pulled out the multi-colored ornaments from within her cloak after having confiscated them before. "Maybe we'll power up ourselves by using them. Can't hurt to have more magical artifacts in our claws, wouldn't you say Lord Bowser?" "Impossible. The Elements of Harmony only work with those who embody harmony and the power of friendship. Honesty, Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Loyalty and Magic. The likes of you could never wield them in their full power." Princess Celestia argued. "Nothing to it then, we'll just guard them in our castle so your precious ponies can never reach them!" Kammy followed up. "Nah, they're useless. Just throw 'em away or something." "Wha? But Lord Bowser! We can't just throw them away. If those ponies get their hooves on them, they might just be able to act against the Star Rod. Let's just guard them in the castle like I said. I already have the perfect spot for them." "But they're so girly. Power of friendship? Blah! I don't want that inside my castle. Or anywhere near me for that matter. Get rid of them." ... Poor Kammy. What was she to do? "Okay uh, tell you what we can do. We'll hand them off to a couple of our legion's strongest champions and then power them up with the Star Rod. Then we'll scatter them throughout the world so they're far away from us, and to make it harder for those ponies to get their hooves on them. How does that sound, your Majesty?" She tried reasoning. "Yeah okay, that sounds good." He said, finally satisfied. Kammy face-palmed as she turned to the ponies again. "So there you have it! Abandon all hope, for your Kingdom is now ours!" "Bwahaha, look forward to my evil plans, ponies. I'll see to it that your heroes never make it to my castle!" He laughed, and he laughed, and he laughed until he finally caught himself again after his blood pressure spiked once more. Sigh. All hail Lord Bowser, I guess.