“Say that again? I’m not sure I understand the problem,” Starlight said to the angry dragon who was pacing back and forth in front of a large chart.
“It just doesn’t make sense,” Spike fumed. “I finally got every issue and plotted out the whole history. I was so excited to finally finish the complete continuity chronicle of the Power Ponies! It took me two years to track the last issue down. Nopony’s ever been able to piece it all together before.”
They were alone in the map chamber in the Castle of Friendship, and Spike had taken after his older sister in using it as a place to prepare presentations. Starlight nodded slowly. “Okay, I’m with you so far. Um. Well done? So what’s the problem?”
“Look!” Spike struck the chalkboard with an extendable pointer. In the middle of the chart showing dozens, maybe hundreds of interconnected nodes on a web was a series of lines leading to a large question mark.
The question mark was labeled “The Mane-iac vs Radiance hypothesis conundrum”. Every line leading to it terminated in a red X, sometimes intersecting one another.
“This is the point that explains how Radiance pursued the Mane-iac through an alley in Mane Street in Power Ponies #299, in the Curling Iron Catastrophe Saga, only to reappear from a subway tunnel in Donkey Kong Way in Iron Mare #41 without Mane-iac in time to join in the fight with the Turnabouters against Hungros the Space Warrior,” Spike explained. “All the time machines were in use in the Moon War, faster than light travel was forbidden while negotiations continued with the Photonites, and teleportation across Maretropolis was impossible because of Doctor Malice’s quantum stasis field. I’ve tried every possible explanation and none of it works. But unless Radiance made it halfway across Maretropolis in negative ten minutes there was no way to stop Hungros from destroying the city and the entire history of the Power Ponies falls apart!”
“…I think you might be expecting too much from the writers.”
“The writing is fine,” Spike said. “Everyone’s in character. Radiance got some great zingers. But I can’t figure out how she got there in a way that works within the rules of the Power Ponies universe.”
“Aren’t those two issues from different series? And by different writers?” Starlight asked.
“Yeah. So?”
“I’m just saying, it’s not that surprising that somepony got mixed up.”
“It’s not a writing mistake. It’s the world itself they got wrong. The whole Power Ponies historical timeline falls apart, and without them the Mare-vel Universe collapses! The whole comic would be different. There has to be some other explanation.”
Starlight nodded slowly, blinking. “Okay, but you realize the Power Ponies are fiction, right?”
Spike stared at her like she’d grown a second head. Starlight laughed nervously. “Don’t get me wrong, when I was a kid I loved the Power Ponies too! But, like, those comics aren’t a window to some other world with a real history that you can accurately describe. The writers are making it up as they go along. Those writers don’t even agree with each other about what the characters are about.”
“I know what fiction is, Starlight,” Spike said. “But you can’t just tell stories that don’t hang together! Of course there’s a plan. Otherwise what’s the point?”
“I think you’re supposed to just enjoy each story on its own and not think too much about it.”
“But the stories shape each other,” Spike insisted. “Like how Fili-Second’s talk with Zapp at the end of the Octagon Calamity completely changes its meaning if you know that she saw the Calamity Jewel in Unestria in Power Ponies #70. The deeper you go the richer it gets. It has to mean something.”
Starlight rolled her eyes and laughed softly at the passion of youth. Spike glared at her with the passionate indignation of foalhood.
“I’m sure you’ll make peace with it eventually,” Starlight said. “Where’s Twilight? I have those books she wanted.”
“She’s in the library,” Spike said. He turned back to his chart, deep in thought. “Maybe if…”
Starlight smiled and shook her head softly, and left him to his work.
She found the library door open and poked her head in. “Twilight? I’m back from Sire’s Hollow! Are you in here?”
“Hi Starlight,” Twilight waved a hoof without looking up from where she sat at her reading desk, the table piled high with books. “Wait, you’re back already?”
Starlight took in the scene. The table was piled high with books. Sheets of note paper was scattered around covered in hurried scribbles. Twilight’s favorite chalkboard had been deployed, and likewise covered in thoughts as detailed as they were obscure, and placed on the floor were the remains of sandwiches and drinks that bore tell-tale marks of having been prepared by a dragon kid brother for a distracted sister and then not cleared away. “Have you been in here all weekend?”
Twilight blinked in confusion and looked up at the sunlight streaming in through a window. “Apparently so.”
“What are you doing?”
“Historical research,” Twilight said. “I’ve been doing some deep reading on one of my favorite subjects: Star Swirl the Bearded. I’m looking at my sources to find out if they can be trusted.”
Starlight picked up one of the books and looked at the sticky note on its cover: Pro-Commander Hurricane bias. Anti-Star Swirl but credible re: diplomatic norms.
She returned it to its place. “That’s one way to spend a weekend, I guess.”
Twilight nodded. “The problem is that everycreature who writes about Star Swirl has a radically different opinion about him, so piecing together the truth is like assembling a shattered mirror. Thankfully we do have some primary sources written by the pony himself, but those are mostly academic texts.”
She chortled happily before continuing. “Don’t get me wrong, Star Swirl the Bearded’s writings are invaluable, both historically and magiscientifically. But it’s been a constant headache for historians that this pivotal stallion who lived through such turbulent times hardly ever wrote a word about himself or his private life.”
She grabbed a book and flipped it open, searching for a page. “Ponies have tried to analyze his writings to see what they say about him as a pony, but they’ve come to wildly different conclusions. Like a good researcher he’s very dispassionate about his data. But the downside to that is that he writes about everything in the same flat tone. Like, take this page of The Other Side of Up.”
She pointed to the open double spread, showing two remarkable creatures. “This is the Fluffbeast, the fluffiest possible entity. It is mathematically proven to be so: there can be no fluffier without breaking the rules of the universe. And this is the Living Family, an undead collective of ponies whose decaying bodies rise from their graves to continue going through the motions of family life, a hollow and monstrous parody of love and companionship that will expand outwards to consume entire cities if it isn’t destroyed. Star Swirl considers both of them to be exactly as horrifying and adorable.”
“I’m sure you’re having a lot of fun,” Starlight said. “What brought this on? Unless you’ve suddenly taken an interest – a totally healthy interest, I’m sure – in the trotting dead?”
“I think I’ve uncovered a mystery,” Twilight said. “On Friday night I was doing some light bedtime reading about Star Swirl the Bearded, as you do, and I noticed several references to a particular incident he was involved in. But when I looked it up I was surprised. Did you know that Star Swirl the Bearded is an entire literary genre?”
Twilight gestured to the tall stack of books piled on her desk: a well-worn copy of Clover the Clever’s biography of Star Swirl the Bearded, Pony Tales of the Pre-Classical Era, Daring Do and the Griffon’s Goblet, Bygone Griffons of Greatness, and others.
“There’s an episode from his life that helped shape the entire continent of Equestria in the Pre-Classical Era,” Twilight continued. “But the sources disagree wildly about what happened, and I’m trying to piece together the truth of it. This is from the mid-point of his career, and though his life was already the stuff of legend it was a long time still before he become the very image of a venerable archmage that’s known to all.”
“I don’t think he’s actually known to all, Twilight.”
“You’re right! Nopony truly knows Star Swirl the Bearded. Nopony understands the sensitive heart that beats in his chest, the deep well of emotion hidden behind the mask of the stern, distant sage. Nopony, except maybe me.”
“That’s not what I… y’know what, never mind. So okay, what’s this about then?”
Twilight pulled out The Rise of the Griffon Empire from the stack and flipped it open to reveal a grand illustration in the old Griffish style. “The meeting between Star Swirl the Bearded and Griffon King Blaze.”
Long ago, in a place that no longer exists.
In the tall Falcon Mountains of the Griffon Empire, beneath peaks white with snow in midsummer from which waters ran down to the distant plains of the provinces, lay the Aetite Duchy.
Griffons soared through the skies. They flew gliding on the powerful buffeting winds of the mountaintops, or rising on heat drafts from the plains far below, carrying news from every corner of the Empire to their rulers in their regal homes. But for the unfortunate earthbound, or the transport of goods that could not be carried through the air, roads from the old days remained where they had been carved into the mountainside.
The roads up the mountains were narrow and steep and twisting, with a sheer cliff on one side and empty air on the other, turning on sharp corners where your face would be sprayed with droplets and your ears filled with the roaring of a waterfall from far above, making its own clouds that hid the ground below from sight. There was no shelter from the winds, and one wrong step would send a creature plummeting to oblivion in the dark chasms far below.
A pony climbed the road, his cloak flapping and setting the bells that lined its hem and the brim of his hat a-jingling, a light sound that the eagle ears of the guards heard from miles away as they flew in circles up above.
One flapped his wings and turned, and pointed his spear. “Heads up! Pony approaching the Aerie on the road!”
“Stand down!” the second guard said. “Didn’t you hear the briefing? They’re expecting a pony, they said to let him pass.”
“Him? That grim-looking old trotter?” The first guard scoffed. “Really scraping the bottom of the barrel, aren’t they?”
“He’s supposed to be somebirdy special. The Unicorn King cares about power, not looks.” He chuckled. “It won’t matter. They have nothing to offer, and no strength to fight. They’ll fall like the rest, and that wizard’s body will lay on the pile with all the others.”
The pony suddenly turned and looked up at them.
Though they were hundreds of feet away the guard fell silent, as though the pony had heard them, and looked at him like his old teacher had done when he’d erred in his lessons as a hatchling. He clenched his beak shut and fumed with sudden anger, his wings beating a touch too fast and too forcefully.
Star Swirl the Bearded turned back to the road and kept climbing, rising up towards the mountain’s spine, where stood the aerie that held the palace of Duke Godfrey.
Excerpt from ‘The Life of Star Swirl the Bearded’, by Clover the Clever.
Many stories are told about Star Swirl the Bearded. But one particular story is special, even by his standards.
It is famously known that Griffon King Blaze has an undying vendetta against Star Swirl the Bearded. A vendetta that has driven him to scour all of Equis for the greatest killers alive, assassins and monsters and others, and sent them to kill the great wizard.
But while the broad outlines of the story are well known the details are not only obscure but contradictory in every regard. The truth of what was said and done when the two of them met in private to decide the fate of Equestria, and just what happened to enrage the Griffon King into swearing a blood oath of vengeance, remains a mystery. One that I, as the pony closest to the great wizard, decided to solve.
I have had mixed results. But I did my best, and I am sure that my work will shed light on history.
Excerpt from ‘The Rise of the Griffon Empire’, by Grindaxe the Griffon.
I was there at the Aetite ducal palace when Star Swirl the Bearded came to meet with King Blaze. I was gathering information to present to the Duke himself, in preparation for a possible attack on [redacted] (a task naturally given to the griffon who had won the most honors and had the most doctorates from the University of Griffonstone in Griffon history, Griffon logistics, and Griffon philosophy of any griffon living. I had never failed a task and if any of my ungrateful underlings claim otherwise that is only because they are liars, filthy liars seeking to pin their own failures on their betters) and so I saw the pony when he appeared. All the various griffons lounging about the palace for frivolous reasons immediately began to gossip about this new arrival and his absurd ensemble.
I alone was not deceived, and I warned the griffons around me not to be fooled by his clownish appearance. That pony was utterly heartless. An emotionally stunted thug, wielded as a blunt instrument by his rulers.
I knew as soon as I looked at him that no good could come from dealing with him, and as in so many other things events would soon prove me right.
Those treacherous ponies claimed he was there to bargain for peace. But it was all a great deception.
He had come to kill the Griffon King.
Excerpt from ‘The Life of Star Swirl the Bearded’, by Clover the Clever.
Let’s step back and look at the state of Equestria in the dark age of the three tribes.
Previously the lands of ponies had been prosperous and strong. Pony magic is the most powerful on Equis. Unicorns mastered the arcane arts. Earth ponies make the land fruitful and kind, to raise strong and healthy defenders. Pegasi control the weather beyond anything griffons can attempt. Ponies even move the very sun and moon. Since ancient times ponies have always been the keystone of Equis itself. And griffons, for all their warlike ways, couldn’t defeat ponies when we were united.
But after the fall of the Old Dominion the three pony tribes were divided and disorganized, while the Griffon Empire was strong, and eager to flex its muscle. Griffon King Blaze commanded his armies to fly across the land, defeating one tribe of creatures after another, adding their countries to the Empire.
In the end it was clear the growing Empire would threaten the lands of ponies. So King Blaze sent an ultimatum to each of the three pony tribes: surrender, or be conquered.
Commander Hurricane and Chancellor Bitemark rejected it without hesitation, and vowed to fight to the bitter end. But nopony believed they could stand against the griffon war machine.
Unicorn King Titanium had another idea. He proposed to send an ambassador to negotiate a peace agreement., and King Blaze agreed to hear him out.
The Unicorn King sent his court wizard, Star Swirl the Bearded.
Nopony thought the Professor would succeed, and indeed many joked (or didn’t joke) that the Unicorn King just wanted to get rid of the wizard,* whose famous bad attitude was sure to get him into a fight with the griffons and his head put on a pike.
(*: I asked Princess Platinum her thoughts about this theory. She burst into laughter and said yes, that sounded exactly like something her grandfather would do.)
The two of them met in a private summit. And Equis would never be the same.
Let me tell you a story about how it ends.
Star Swirl the Bearded has done a lot in his life, and he will do a lot more.
At this point he is not yet the ancient, white-maned arch-mage described by his student. He is younger than that, perhaps in his forties, and his long beard is turning grey more from history than from time.
(His age, like many things, is unclear. It shouldn’t be. It should be perfectly possible to tell precisely when this happened, all things considered. And yet it is.)
He is not a popular pony and he is not a pleasant pony. Wherever he goes, he is hated and feared. Whatever dark magic he has absorbed strains at the seams of him, wearing him like a disguise.
Sometimes he grimaces and jerks in pain, as though fighting to keep it contained as it tries to break free, until the moment passes and he returns, for him, to normal.
Whatever else is true, when creatures look at him what they see looking back has very little pony left in him: the spirit of a mage who has lost or cast aside everything that made him weak.
The gate was opened and Star Swirl the Bearded stepped through into the presence of the lord of all griffons, master of the Empire. The wizard stood tall and unflinching, prepared for whatever would come. “I have come to you, King Blaze. Perhaps my reputation precedes me.”
The Griffon King turned, his long red and white ermine cloak swirling about him, and looked down on the pony. His golden crown reflected the light from the great fireplace that burned along the far wall. His front half was eagle, eyes clear and sharp and deadly under white feathers, and his back half was lion, ferocious and strong. “I know who you are, wizard. They say Star Swirl the Bearded is a heretic outcast, a fanatic who cares only for magical secrets and nothing for the lives of ponies.” His eyes narrowed. “Are you truly here to speak for them?”
Star Swirl did not shy away from his gaze. “I have a duty to deliver an offer. I care little whether it’s accepted or rejected.”
“I see.” King Blaze swept his claws and the hall itself shifted in obedience, light shining on a great map of the Unicorn Kingdom and the surrounding lands, showing griffon forces massing on their borders. “My armies have subjugated half the world, and carry the eagle-lion standard across far-swept realms. Donkeys. Diamond Dogs. Kirin. Abyssinians. The dragons have fled before me, and even the proud yaks have bent their necks to the yoke. One by one the creatures of the continent have fallen, and now all that stands between me and total rule of Equestria is one little pony, sent to stop the unstoppable.” He looked down at the pony with satisfaction. “Upon my command they will advance, and crush any resistance. The only way to avoid it is surrender. So tell me – what do you have to say?”
“There will be no surrender,” Star Swirl the Bearded said, not looking away from the king’s eyes. “You underestimate us at your peril, Griffon King. Ponies will not roll over, and if you attack you will pay a terrible price.”
“They all said that. And then they found out.”
“They did not have me.” Star Swirl the Bearded stared at the griffon. “I am Star Swirl the Bearded. I have walked with Alicorns. I have faced demons and monsters stronger and more fearsome than you, great king. I have plumbed the deepest parts of Equis, and found secret knowledge beyond your comprehension. I am here today as an emissary, not a warrior. But know this: if you dare to threaten my homeland I will tear Griffonstone down stone by stone.”
King Blaze stared down at him, the tall griffon standing at his full height. Then slowly he began to laugh, and his wings stretched out, the firelight blazing through the feathers. “You think you can frighten me, conjurer? You forget where you are standing.”
He reared up on his hind paws, his claws tipped in steel that burned with the reflected firelight. “I am Griffon King Blaze. I took these fractious tribes that scraped a living from the mountaintops, and built an empire that stretches across the world. You served Nightmare Moon but I fought beside her in battle before you were even born. I too have walked with Alicorns, little pony, and I outlasted them.”
King Blaze looked down his beak at the stallion. “The age of Alicorns is over. The lands of ponies cling to a history of bygone greatness whose weight they cannot bear. The sun and moon are moved by a circle of unicorns like a cart dragged along on a broken wheel. Someday it will grind to a halt.” He shook his head. “Face it, wizard. The old order is dead. Your chance ended when you failed your Princess.”
Star Swirl’s eyes narrowed with deep, cold will. His horn radiated burning magical energy that glowed dark. “Even a king should fear to anger a wizard.”
“Are you threatening me, pony? Shall the war begin right here? Right now?”
“I am ready if it does.”
The Griffon King unclasped his cloak and shrugged it off. It fell to the floor softly, revealing the grizzled body of a warrior underneath. Scars criss-crossed his throat and torso, bright lines cutting through the down and fur.
He put aside the scepter and lifted the crown from his brow, and flexed the steel-tipped claws of his talons.
“Then so be it.”
He spread his wings and lunged forward, and Star Swirl’s horn burned bright with magical power as he galloped forward to meet him.
At this point conjecture ends.
What happened next is a matter of public record.
It began with the earthquake. With a great rumble through the rock, the entire aerie suddenly jerked and shook, throwing every grounded creature off-balance, and immediately raising the alert.
At the same time King Blaze burst out from the very pinnacle of the palace, soaring straight up into the thin freezing air above the aerie like a firework rocket. Guards who were patrolling the skies above the palace when it happened said the King gripped the unicorn in his claws, crushing his throat in a rage, and that the unicorn’s horn burned with charged magic so powerful it hurt their eyes to watch, and blasted the King with magic fire.
The King carried them up into the sky and soon the other griffons lost sight of them, because by then the mountain was exploding. Thick plumes of volcanic ash, black and yellow and sulfurous, poured out from cracks in the rock and filled the sky with choking, blinding smoke. Great gouts of flame shot up from the ground, spouts of magma ran like rivers, and flaming boulders launched through the air like cannonballs, sending every griffon scattering in a mad panic to flee. And above, the piercing war-screech of King Blaze in his rage cut through everything, louder than thunder, louder than death, heard by every creature.
The aerie shook, and every creature within tried to flee in terror. Swarms of griffons flew out from the branched landings, colliding mid-air and sending each other toppling, the air torn by countless discordant wing-beats, while the earthbound captives dashed madly across the rock.
As they fled, lightning struck from the volcanic clouds and with each flash of light they saw in the shadows the great King and the wizard as they tore into each other, claw and bolt. His mighty wings beating, King Blaze clutched the pony in his talons and squeezed, and ripped, until the pony tore free and vanished in a flash of light to reappear a distance away, walking on clouds, blasting the King with magic lightning and balls of arcane fire that ripped through the air and scattered the smoke. Those bolts crashed down on the mountain, and it heaved and roiled.
Again and again they clashed, and tore into each other before breaking apart, while far below them the mountain was ripped to pieces. The great king-tree of Aetite bent and burned and splintered and snapped, torn apart by the forces unleashed on it.
Soon the mountain peak was empty of all life but the two of them as every other living creature had evacuated and watched in awe from a safe distance until the battle was silenced.
In mere minutes the ducal palace and all its priceless treasures, the jewel of the Empire, was utterly destroyed. And Godfrey, the Adamant Claw, the great Duke of Aetite, conqueror of many lands and builder of great things, who had never previously lacked for words or action, fell to the ground and wept for all he had lost.
Finally King Blaze emerged alone from the inferno and landed before the gathered crowd of astonished survivors.
He was covered in cuts and bruises, and his fur and his feathers were scorched and blackened with ash. Dark red blood poured down from a deep gash across his face, and his steel-tipped claws were warped and twisted from the heat. His one good eye burned with rage, and in spite of his wounds he carried himself regally. And all the nobles and warriors who had fled the upheaval looked at him with awe and horror.
Striding forward with heavy steps, and without pausing or calling for anygriff to tend his wounds, he raised a claw and spread his wings for attention.
Then he spoke, and witnesses described his words:
“All of you, hear me! Your king speaks! And let my words be carried across the length of the Empire.” Here he folded his wings and stood to his full height, looking out over the ruins and the survivors. “Let this be known: I… swear… vengeance. From this day forth the full might of the Griffon Empire will be bent towards that wizard’s DEATH. And until the deed is done, and the unicorn’s head hangs on a pike above the gates of Griffonstone, I will not rest, and no griffon will take up arms against any other enemy. This I swear, as KING OF THE GRIFFONS! RAAAAAAAAAWRRRRRR!”
Excerpt from ‘The Life of Star Swirl the Bearded’, by Clover the Clever.
When the dust settled the Griffon Empire’s expansion was halted, and King Blaze swore on his honor that the borders would not expand an inch until the wizard was dead.
Since then the Griffon King has made a sport of finding the world’s deadliest assassins, and sending them to kill Star Swirl the Bearded.
I have witnessed some of these attempts myself, and they were terrifying. But the Professor has always emerged alive, if not unscathed.
When news spread, and ponies wanted to know the state of the conflict, the wizard made no comment, beyond telling the Unicorn King that he had completed his mission. Likewise in Griffonstone, even as the King’s court began their plans to destroy the wizard, King Blaze refused to elaborate on the details, and no griffon dared to gainsay him.
The silence continues to this day. Though the Professor doesn’t like to brag, he is always willing to teach some lesson from his hard-won experience, even ones that most ponies find horrifying. Do not ask me about Slime Pit Maintenance Day. But on this he keeps his lips sealed, and the very idea of the Griffon King seems to enrage him. These two sworn enemies, standing astride Equis from opposite sides, seem destined to be locked in an eternal conflict.
But it wasn’t long before stories began to spread through both countries and beyond, as creatures argued and speculated over what exactly had happened and what it meant.
And with every story told, the legend grew.
“Wait,” Starlight said. “He was mad at Star Swirl, so he swore off expanding the entire empire?”
“It’s part of chivalric tradition,” Twilight said. “King Blaze may seem like a ruthless tyrant to us, but to his griffon subjects he was the epitome of royal honor. That he stood by his word was a measure of his integrity, and swearing to abstain from something precious until he’d had his revenge showed how seriously he took the insult. Some great knights swore never to shave or cut their manes, for instance, until they’d fulfilled their oath. Or even bathe. It was more common back then.”
“Gross.”
“Exactly! ‘Gross’ comes from the old Ponish word for ‘great’, and it’s only in recent times that it’s taken on negative connotations. Some sources call him ‘King Blaze the Gross’, in both meanings of the word.”