//------------------------------// // The Insane Priest and the Floramancer // Story: Seekers of the Epitaph: World of Azeroth // by Xarmar13 //------------------------------// “H…th…ossi…?” a faint voice asked. “The gas…ould ha…a lepp…ome…least.” “I don’...but I…our patient is…ing to…” another voice answered. The patient tried opening her eyes only to close them again as the lighting in the room only worsened the headache she was feeling. “What happened to me?” she thought to herself. “You decided to follow the orders of our ‘brilliant’ leaders and opened up the radioactive gas tanks,” a mysterious voice explained. “And just like the ‘genius’ gnome that you are, you opened the wrong canister which contained a different type of gas which somehow protected you from leprosy by the other toxic gas that flooded the city.” “Huh? Who said that?” the patient asked out loud. She opened her eyes again despite the headache and shot upward into a sitting position on her bed. She scanned the room around her and saw two gnomes by her bed, looking at her in confusion while looking at each other. One of the gnomes, a female, spoke first. “What an odd reaction timing. We were discussing how you were spared the fate of leprosy by the radioactive gas you were exposed to.” “Yeah, and what was in that weird canister I opened that you said wasn’t radioactive gas?” The two continued giving the patient confused looks. The other gnome, a male, spoke, “What are you talking about? What weird canister?” “Didn’t one of you say I opened the wrong canister which contained a different type of gas?” The two gnomes wrote something down on the clipboards they were carrying. “You might want to get your neural cortex examined. We didn’t say anything about what you just described.” The patient scratched her head, wondering who told her that stuff. “It was me, you ditz! Whatever that stuff was, I somehow ended up being created from it. I guess I’m some sort of mental construct that was created from the gas you were exposed to. The gas knocked you out and I was able to save your sorry butt by walking us out of there.” “How did you do that?” “It looks like I can take control of your body, while you’re unconscious at least. So it looks like we get to spend the rest of our lives as roommates in this cramped cranium of yours.” “So what do I call you, rude voice in my head? I’m Mena Overclock.” “Name me something that won’t tempt me to throw myself into the mouth of a snow leopard. I don’t care otherwise.” “Hmm…how about Meanie since you’re mean to me?” Mena offered. “...I wonder what it’s like inside a leopard’s stomach…” “Okay, okay, how about Surprise? It’s not like it matters since everyone around us is going to refer to either of us as Mena anyway.” Mena could practically feel Surprise shrug. “Eh, whatever.” “Are you alright Miss…Overclock?” One of the gnomes, a doctor most likely, suddenly asked while taking a look at his clipboard, bringing Mena out of her mental conversation. “Oh, yeah, I’m peachy,” Mena said as she chuckled awkwardly. “So, where are we anyway?” “After the city got flooded with the gas, the refugees fled to Ironforge, home of our dwarven allies. The ambulance strider pulling the wagon carrying you malfunctioned and led us all the way to Coldridge Valley. The facilities here aren’t nearly effective for handling patients, especially victims of radioactive gas inhalation, but miraculously you weren’t in any danger so you simply required bedrest.” “So when can I get out of here?” Mena asked. “And what about my things? Did they get contaminated?” “First, I’m afraid that we had to dispose of most of your belongings since they wouldn’t have survived a decontamination precedure. About all we could save were those books on the Light that you were studying. Second, we will see about allowing you out of bed tomorrow, it’s night time right now. Get a full night’s sleep and we will give you a final checkup.” “Seriously?! How long have I been out?” “A little over a day,” the female gnome replied. “And about Gnomeregan, we evacuated all we could but the rest have unfortunately turned into raving leper gnomes. Mekgineer Thermaplugg tricked High Tinker Mekkatorque into releasing the gas into the city to kill the troggs, which only irradiated them but didn’t kill them. Apparently Thermaplugg only wanted to make Mekkatorque look like a failure so he could assume the leadership position of Gnomeregan, which ultimately backfired since the gas got him too.” “Ha! I knew that meanie was bad news! Though now I feel pretty stupid for following the order to release the gas.” “Don’t worry about it. Even now, Mekkatorque is drawing out the plans to retake Gnomeregan. Just rest and regain your strength for tomorrow.” Mena nodded and lied back down while covering herself with her blanket. The doctor turned the lights out in the room and walked out. Mena had no idea how tired she actually was since she quickly fell asleep a minute later. Mena woke up the next morning and stretched her arms. She hopped out of bed without regard for the fact that she had spent over a day off of them. Her knees were surprisingly stable instead of wobbly but didn’t question that. She took a look at herself in a nearby mirror and took care to keep her curly pink hair from getting in her eyes. She took care to straighten her white robe as well. Feeling ready, she took one last look at the mirror, doing her best to ignore the brief flash of an image of her with a darkened expression and her hair down and straight with some of it covering her left eye. As she performed some morning exercises, Mena noticed one of the doctors along with an innkeeper huddled in a corner staring at her in terror. “What’s going on?” Mena asked. “You two look like you saw a ghost or something.” “W-we’re fine, d-don’t worry a-about us. J-just head out whenever you can,” the doctor said. “Huh? But what about my checkup?” “Just go, please. You have other things to do, right?” Mena shrugged and walked out of the inn. Once outside in the snow-covered alpine wilderness, she looked around and saw the dwarven mountaineers in chain mail and green cloaks shooting at creatures that looked like primitive humanoid savages. Everyone referred to them as troggs. Mena lent her assistance by smiting the creatures with holy spells and healing wounded mountaineers. She uttered a holy word to temporarily improve the stamina of the defenders as well. She soon found a problem with her magic when she realized that she couldn’t remember the words of shadow that the books that she read once had taught her. No matter how much she racked her mind she couldn’t remember it. It was as if the knowledge of the spell had been erased from her mind. “Or they could have been moved to the part of your brain that I reside in,” Surprise suddenly said. Mena finished off the trogg she was working on and paused as she addressed her mental roommate. “Surprise? Are you saying that you have all the knowledge of my shadow spells? How am I supposed to properly defend myself if you have most of my good offensive spells?” Surprise let out an empty laugh, “You still have access to your power words. You have the shield spell and the good healing spells anyway so I think it’s a fair division. Looks like I have no choice but to work with a fool like you.” “Could you at least not insult me when you say that?” “Show me that you can be competent and I’ll lighten up.” Once Mena had her fill of practice, she decided to see what her counterpart could do. She used a mental technique to lower her mental defenses to allow her alter ego to take over temporarily. For the first time since she was hit by that strange gas, she was able to consciously watch what Surprise could do. Surprise’s methods were brutal. She inflicted multiple troggs with the shadow word for pain. The spell caused the troggs to feel agonizing phantom pain that damaged their minds but not their bodies. The troggs charged at her but fled when they got close thanks to Surprise planting a psychic suggestion for them to flee. She then targeted the dimwitted creatures and crushed all of their minds at once, causing them to collapse on the snowy ground. Surprise stole the last of the life force from the troggs and used it to replenish her stamina. Seeing what Surprise could do with her magic was scary. That was when Mena realized something, “Wait a minute, you were the one who left that doctor and innkeeper huddled in the corner this morning, weren’t you?” “I got bored waiting for you to wake up so I had some fun while you were snoozing. The doctor didn’t want me to get out of bed and called in the innkeeper to help since I wasn’t being compliant. A nightmarish vision was all I needed to shut those two up. After that I went outside for a stroll and returned to the inn. Ignore the pile of frost trolls in the distance by the way.” “Still, that wasn’t nice what you did to the doctor and innkeeper, Surprise. They were just trying to help. You need to apologize to them.” “And why should I?” “Because I’ll keep singing the song that never ends, even in my dreams, if you don’t,” Mena threatened. “You can’t control your dreams like that,” Surprise countered. “Wanna try me?” The two were silent for a minute before Surprise relented, “Fine, I’ll behave, for now.” Mena smiled from within her own mind. After Surprise returned to the inn and apologized to the doctor and the innkeeper, the two of them headed into the tunnel which served as the only exit out of Coldridge Valley. As they traversed the tunnel, Surprise psychically destroyed a number of troggs that got in her way. Once they exited the tunnel, Mena took over again and observed the landscape around her. The mountainous, snow-covered landscape, the forest beyond the roads, it was like leaving a valley for an even larger valley with all the mountains that surrounded the Dun Morogh region. Mena was surprised to see a strange-looking figure on the side of the road. This person looked like a female human wearing a black, form-fitting, full body jumpsuit with only her head showing. She was sitting in a curled position with her knees covering her face. Mena noticed the person’s unusual purple hair color and she wasn’t sure if she was seeing things, but she thought that she could see some of her hair moving around in places like tentacles. Mena had a sense for imminent danger and the closer she got to this person, the stronger the feeling became. When she got within a few feet of the figure, Mena felt a headache forming. The painful feeling felt like a warning to not get any closer to the figure and soon her sense of dread won out and she began to back away from the figure. “I will admit that there is something up with her, but I’m actually surprised that a rebel like you, who was self taught in the ways of the priest since our people in general aren’t strong believers in the Light, would pull away from someone who looks like they need help.” “I don’t understand either,” Mena admitted. “The closer I get to her, the more terrifying images fill my head.” “Hmm,” Surprise thought. “I might have an idea, switch with me.” Mena did as told and the gnome’s expression shifted to a darker one. She then approached the figure again. While her mind was assaulted by the horrifying visage of the Dun Morogh region covered with snow and blood with corpses all over the place, animals, dwarves and gnomes, Surprise was able to shrug off the image and approach the figure. “Hey you, what’s going on with the visions of murder around me?” Surprise demanded. “Is this your doing?” Surprise could hear mumbling coming from the figure and she ventured a little closer to overhear what she was saying. "̶͎̾̋͜T̶̞̊͊̎̉̔h̴͙̀̈́e̴̤̘̣̝͝͝ ̷̢̹̮̹̪̀v̴̨̧̡̝̎̈́́̾ͅȍ̴̱̝͑i̴̝͉̤͠ͅͅc̷̫̲̣̃̾͂̔̆ḛ̴̪͒̓̑ş̷̓.̵͈̖̣̜̳̄.̵̮̤̔̕.̸̰̇t̶̼͑̈h̶̭͇̑̆e̵͕̮̿͋̆͝y̵̢̺̩͂ ̶͓̩͚͚͒͑̎͒w̷̠̻̬̍͌͗̊o̶̭̖̞̹͒̀n̴̝͆'̸̛̙͕̬̪̘̎̇͗͋ṯ̴̜̰̓̓ ̷̼̫̜̝̿͘s̶͉̘̹͌h̷͍̻̬̄̈́͑̂ú̴̢̺͇̹̟͊͐̏͛t̴̩̟̑̾̅͑ ̸̡̰͍̔͊̃͠u̸͚͍̩̫̪͛̉p̴̨̥̝̒!̶̗̻̚ ̸̩̐̏̓͘T̷̢͂h̸͍̄̃ĕ̵̫͉̳̤̲̏̑͛y̸̟͔͔̤̑͂ ̶̢̼͍̗̎̃̊͘d̵͉̩̭͖̱̍͂̇̿ȩ̵͙̘̮͝͠ṃ̵̥͇̙̃a̶̡̘͍̋̒̈n̵̡͍̙̓̒̈́̀̕͜d̶̡̲͍̲̯͗́̂ ̶̰̩͆t̶͚͚̍͗͛h̷̨̢̻̀̌a̷͇̞̖̩̰̽͒̎͘͠t̸̥̥̩̮̙̾͛̂́̍ ̷̪̰̳̤̦̎͝I̴̲̣̣̣͑̑̈ ̷͓̜̱̈̉͂f̵͖̗̪̻̟͌́͗e̶̖͈̰̖̪̾̈́̍̊́a̷͍̓̀̐̂s̵̞͑t̵͓͖̲̂̍͝͝ ̷͎̲̒o̸͚̺̭̯̥̅̾̀͘͝ǹ̵̛̲̒͝ ̵̙̤̽̈͝ť̵͔̜̤̀͜͝h̶̜̔̓̽͠e̸̻͖̣͑̌͂̕ ̸̪̱́m̴͔̱̬̱̤̋̄͊ǒ̴̤͛̔̐̓r̶̛̰͙̪̞͒͘ş̷̛͇̹̘͎͂͛ȩ̸̡̘̠͓̂͐̽̈͋l̶͍͉̤̿ ̶̢̝͎̹̳̃͗̚ḇ̶̀̈̔̃̂e̴̯̥͙̪̿̂̈́͠f̴͎͇̱̕o̵͇̔́̆͘͠r̵̪̭̍̔͑̉̊e̷̢̡͚̰̒́̊͐̑ ̷̠͎̑̉̏͝m̸̺͚̒̆̚͝e̵̟̩͍̒͗.̶̛̳̤͊̓̿͌ ̵̻̓͆S̸̨͈͊̇̑̄̋ǒ̷͎̰̲̃ ̶̨̫͉̹̲̎̾́h̵͛͊̌ͅŭ̸̪̹̘̂n̵͖͠ģ̴͓̰̼̜̀̐̅͛ŗ̵͕̼̬̫̑ý̶̧͔͍̳̳͗̈́͐͂.̴̢̠̟̭̌͑̚̚.̶̡͇̫̮͕͆̾̉͋̀.̵̬̝̱͝"̴͉̫̣͘ Surprise frowned as she heard that. Hungry? Anyone could tell that she was given how she was positioned on the side of the road. From what she could tell from what the figure said, something was going on in her head and it was telling the figure to eat her. “Hey Surprise, do you have any idea what she said? It sounded like gibberish to me.” Surprise soon realized that the figure was speaking in an unknown language and yet her mind was somehow able to decipher it while Mena’s mind didn’t have the same capability. Whatever power the figure was subconsciously using, Surprise had a feeling that she had some sort of resistance to it. This warranted further experimentation. “Hey, will you snap out of it already?” Surprise demanded as she grabbed the figure by the arm. The figure paused for a moment and then gasped loudly before jerking her arm away. Her eyes, purple with black sclera, widened as the familiar voices assaulted her mind again. She touched the gnome’s arm and the voices became silent once more. With a joyful smile, the figure picked Surprise up and wrapped her in her arms like a stuffed animal. “Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” “Hush little gnome, I’m enjoying the silence. Those voices have pestered me all my life and I was at my wits end on how to control them.” “I don’t have to take this!” Surprise then switched control back to Mena who screamed in terror. The figure frowned as the voices returned. She placed a hand on Mena’s head and the gnome fell silent and limp for a moment before Surprise regained control. “What the!? Did you just force me and Mena to switch?” “The other you is not who I want to speak to,” the figure responded. “The voices have revised their opinion of you and believe that you will be useful for my plans so I leave you with two options. Option one, you get to be my doll for me to cuddle with until I don’t need you anymore. Option two, you form a contract with me where I get to benefit from your resistance to the Void long enough for me to become strong enough to control the voices myself while you gain knowledge of the Void beyond what the most talented priests on Azeroth are capable of. Either way, you’re now stuck with me until I get what I need. There’s no escaping me now that you have acknowledged my existence. I now exist in your mind so I will be with you no matter where you go…literally.” Surprise growled before sending a thought to Mena, “You and your generous impulses.” “But how will I be able to keep my sanity with you two around me?” Mena asked. “Your sanity is debatable at this point since you were crazy enough to open a canister of experimental gas. Besides, I should be able to keep her influence away from you since I’m resistant to her powers, apparently.” Surprise returned her attention to the figure. “Fine, so what does this contract entail?” “Firstly, a little bit of background. My name is Violetta and I’m a being who is being driven mad because the black blood of a Void creature courses through me. You seem to be able to keep the madness at bay enough for me to think clearly. Since I have an affinity for the Void I need to strengthen myself by absorbing more Void in order to gain mastery over my affinity. This entails the hunting and consumption of creatures of the Void and my main prey are four targets hidden throughout Azeroth, buried beneath the land and tides hundreds of thousands of years ago.” “Are you saying that you want me to lead you to these four monsters located Makers know where so you can hunt them? Why should I put myself in such danger?” “You’re an adventurer, aren’t you? I’m sure these creatures have hidden treasure stashes and relics collected over the eons, not to mention the power I can bestow upon you for each of the four killed. Great reward comes with great risk after all. I suggest looking for friends who can help us on this quest.” “Jokes on you lady, I have no friends and no one wants to be near me because of my eccentricity. Adding you to the mix is probably the best repellant of anything.” Violetta merely chuckled at that, “The world is a huge place. There are people out there who will be your friend despite our arrangement. You just have to find them.” Violetta held out a hand. Surprise could tell that the surface of the monstrous being’s hand was roiling. Still, it wasn’t like she had any goals for herself and Mena was simply going to wander around Dun Morogh looking for something to do. The moment she grabbed the creature’s larger hand, she felt a stinging sensation on her palm, as if it had been pricked. She pulled her hand back and looked at it. Sure enough, there was a small wound on her palm and it was bleeding slightly. Her eyes widened as a black substance creeped its way into her wound. Violetta smirked, "̴̠͓̹̍̃̚͝B̸̹͉̿ŷ̴̡̹͔̘̐̔͌ ̷̦̟̯̼̾b̵̳̼́́̽̃l̶̡͐̀̀o̸̢͍͓̯̾͠ͅǫ̵̨͓̤͒̎̂̏d̸͙͈̮̓̓̀͝,̷͍͔̟̫̗̎̕ ̸̯̬̞̤̉̇͐̚ͅt̷̛̛͔̠̙̆̂̇h̶͍̏̐͗̓ë̷̛͉͕̥́͆̍ ̶̯̘͓̔̐̈̋̕ç̸̪̹͍̻͋͌͠o̸̺̔ǹ̸̮̲̈̀̚͝t̴̲̥̥̼͇̀r̶̡̠̲̦̙͝ȃ̴̼̉͊c̶̳͖̩̣̽ţ̵͍̜͆̽̈́͝ ̶̭̬̤̟͛̓́̇͘i̸̼͂͐̔̚ŝ̷̰̯̱͝ ̷͚̻̫͗̈̆͛ś̵͗͊̔ͅe̵̡̡̞̙̹̓̒ã̵͙̣͗͐l̶̘̬͋͗é̶͖̓̏͝d̷̬͙͆̔͝͝!̸̰͊̕"̵͉̟̘̆͝ Surprise grasped at her hand for a few moments before turning to the creature. “So what now?” “I know of a place we can go to first while we look for leads. First, we need to make our way to the city of the night elves and head south. The place we are looking for is on the west coast of a region called Ashenvale Forest. I know of a creature there that I can consume what will hold me over long enough for us to locate one of the four.” “Alright, fine, let’s go to Ironforge and look for a mage who can make us a portal over there.” With that, Violetta vanished but Surprise could still feel her presence within herself. Having had enough with diplomacy for a while, Surprise switched out with Mena who pouted as she felt like she was being dragged along on this journey. Her mood remained that way all the way to Ironforge. Mulgore, an expansive fertile valley in the heart of central Kalimdor, is home to many races of savage creatures, but one had moved into the valley years ago and built a city atop a number of tall plateaus: Thunder Bluff. The tauren, a race of bull men who bore a resemblance to Equestrian minotaurs, served the Horde with their great strength and spiritualism. In southern Mulgore, a camp was constructed to serve as a training camp for young tauren who had come of age. One unfortunate tauren druid faced a tragic end last night when he was assaulted in his dreams by a pony man whose knowledge of floralmancy greatly surpassed his own. Groun Lifehorn, a young druid who was about to live the life of adventure, had his life cut short in his dreams by the figure who his comrades know as Greenpeace. With his soul crushed in his dreams by dark vines, Greenpeace took possession of the young tauren’s body like Steel Edge and Desert Wind claimed theirs. He still felt guilty doing that though. He did have an issue with the fact that inhabiting the tauren had left him sobered up from his latest herbal buzz and he wasn’t getting another fix anytime soon since he was on a mission and he couldn’t afford going around behaving like an addict. Of course, this left Groun feeling on edge and his attunement to plants made the plants around him restless. Growing up, Greenpeace was exceptionally talented as an earth pony. He passively sent out psychic waves which he called “vibes” which were picked up by plants. The plants behaved according to his moods and whenever he was depressed, plants withered, when happy, plants erupted from the soil, when angry, plants attacked. This was the main reason he was often high on herbs, feeling peaceful and calm made plants behave normally. Unfortunately, running around high while being incognito was a bad idea so he would have to work hard to keep his emotions in check. Groun took up a meditative stance and centered his mind, trying to calm his tumultuous mind. He stayed like that for an hour until he felt ready to leave the tent he was sleeping in and greet the day. He thought back to what he learned about tauren culture from his comrades. As much as Crystal and the others believed otherwise, he was paying attention to the lectures. From what he remembered, young tauren who came of age had to participate in a series of rites called the Rites of the Earthmother to show that the young tauren were truly mature adults. Groun’s tasks began with a simple task of checking on the local chief’s mother who was tasked with carrying water back to Camp Narache. The mother had him deliver the water himself as a test of humility. After that Groun was sent to take part in the Rite of Strength which entailed slaying the taurens’ enemies, particularly the nearby bristleback quillboar. The creatures were humanoid versions of boars crossed with porcupines as they appeared as boar people with quills on their backs. Quillboar also had the ability to call thick thorny roots from the ground as a means of fortifying their homes. Groun turned this ability against the quillboar when he attempted to take control of his emotions. His anger caused the roots to thrash around in fury, crushing some quillboar while others were batted away, thrown into the air to land at terminal velocity, or impaled on the thorns. Most of the unfortunate quillboar were slaughtered in minutes while those who survived abandoned their homes to rally with more quillboar in The Barrens. With the menace dealt with, Groun used what breathing techniques he knew to calm himself down. The roots soon settled once more. Groun returned to Camp Narache to report that the menace had been removed and the camp was safe. The chief saw enough of what happened to know that Groun was a druid of exceptional talent so he wrote a message onto a totem and handed it to the druid, with instructions to take it to Baine Bloodhoof, son of the current chieftain of the Bloodhoof Tauren, Cairne Bloodhoof. The druid took the totem and followed the road out of the camp and off the mesa. Groun was glad that the other two rites would not require him to use his powers so much since that earlier display might have given him more attention than he would have liked.