//------------------------------//
// Welcome To Yakyakistan 
// Story: The Equestria Chronicles: Journey Through The Crystal Mountains 
// by Slippin_Sweetie 
//------------------------------//

Thorax hissed as he scuttled, pulling the wagon with little strength, stamping and clawing his way through the newly formed blizzard. Unlike the first day on their trek, they didn't have the good fortune of shelter, and someone had to bear the burden of pulling the cart through the frost and snow.

The changeling's face was covered in ice as his eyebrows and muzzle had a frosty glaze coating that burned his flesh like Tartarus. He fluttered his insect-like wings as he felt overwhelmed with exhaustion, the young changeling shouting through the howling wind.

"Trixie! I can't go much further; I can barely stand on my own four hooves! You need to tag in!" pleaded the changeling.

Trixie, who had been occupying herself with minor repairs to the wagon, sighed deeply. Her ears fell flat against her mane, dropping the hammer and bit of wood she had been fiddling with. Large areas where the wagon had been burned had been covered and sealed with tarps, which she usually would have used for rainproofing.

Poking her head out the window, the blue mare winced against the cold, feeling her fur stand on end already. It was enough just trying to fight the cold from seeping in, but walking in it?

"Why can't Starlight do it? Or why don't you just transform into a polar bear??" She yelled out before noting the icy layer on his chitinous skin. "Ugh, just get in here before you become a popsicle."

Starlight shivered as she clung to her blanket desperately, choking out a sickly cough as she eyed Trixie with a bitter scowl, "You want me to be sick for even longer? This cold is already slowing my recovery down!"

Trixie rolled her eyes before turning to the door, opening it for the frozen changeling.

Thorax galloped into the wagon, collapsing on the floor as he riled in the stinging sensation across his body.

"S-s-s-s-so c-c-c-c-cold, and h-h-hungry," his tongue flicked the chilled air hungrily as he stared blankly at the ceiling.

The showpony wrinkled her nose at the sight, cringing as a shiver went down her spine.

"I… like what you d-did with the place," Thorax said, attempting to soften the current situation.

"Why, thank you, at least someone appreciates my hard work," Trixie huffed, raising her nose in the air before looking down at Thorax, "So... you're hungry. I guess I can think of something I love..."

She pressed a hoof against her chest, grinning. "Me! I am quite fantastic, aren't I? I'm so generous, helping you eat! Honestly, I'd be a better Element of Generosity than that white tramp!"

Starlight rolled her eyes before sneezing loudly, "I didn't think changelings could feed on bullcrap like that."

Thorax snickered as he held back an impolite laugh, "W-well, she does love herself a lot, so it works either way…." 

Thorax slowly rose to his hooves as he approached Trixie, opening his maul before devouring the amount of pride and love she had for herself. Sucking out the pink essence from her body.

The sheer amount of energy being sucked out of the mare's body quickly caused her to collapse on the ground, feeling deflated and exhausted.

"Ugh.... maybe Trixie loves herself too much..." the showpony looked up, feeling absolutely terrible now. 

"That... should be enough for you to keep going, right?" Trixie halfway regretted not just pulling the cart herself, "I don't think I can pull us now..."

Thorax slowly stretched as he sat on the floor, "Yeah… I should be fine, give me a minute to warm up a bit, heh…" he'd turn over to Starlight, "How are you feeling?"

Starlight snorted as she hacked up a wad of mucus and spat out the nearby window, "Terrible, but better than yesterday. I'm still not good for much right now; I could fly us to Yakyakistan if my horn wasn't so burnt out," she'd bow her head as her horn weakly let out a tiny spark of magic.

"But, if we keep pushing like this, we'll make it to Yakyakistan, and you two can start a new life away from our…hiccup in the Crystal City."

"So we are faking our deaths? Great," Trixie crawled over to a sack, laying her head down upon the rough fabric. "Get me a thread and needle and some fabric, and I can make it look like we exploded."

"I'm only half joking about that," Trixie said.

"You can fake our deaths? Where in the world did you learn how to do that? Does Celestia's school teach that?" Thorax said as he scooted closer to Trixie, lowering his head as he observed the mare curiously. 

Starlight rolled her eyes, "Of course, she can, Thorax. She probably did it a few times to avoid a parking ticket or court summons."

"No, of course not; Celestia didn't teach that! Only the most fabulous and talented unicorn ever could!" Trixie propped herself up, feeling a little more energetic at the opportunity to have the attention on her.

"And I'll have you know; I never used it for a parking ticket! Trixie always parks away from town. No, Trixie learned from the most magical and amazing pony of all... Hoofdini!!"

"Many ponies know of his most famous tricks, the Moonshot Manticore Mouthdive, the Milk Can Escape, even the Belly of the Whale! But I happen to know of the few tricks he performed when he was just beginning! The Exploding Pony Trick!"

"He would swallow tiny amounts of explosives and have a minimal amount of time before he could unlock himself to drink an antidote. Sometimes he would escape, but others... heh, he had a surprise for the audience."

Thorax's eyes lit up as he tapped his hooves excitedly against the floor, "What was it, what was it!?" he asked in almost child-like wonder.

Starlight rolled her eyes as she coughed, slowly resting her head on the floor, "Don't indulge her, Thorax; we won't hear the end of it til we're snowed in…." she yawned.

Trixie rolled her eyes at the mare before turning back to Thorax, happy to tell her story. "Well, he was essentially locked hoof to hoof together in an iron cell. He had to unlock five different locks before he could get out of the cage and get the antidote. If he ran out of time, well..."

"He'd go pop!" she snickered, "I imagine the faces of the audience were horrified until he stepped on stage, looking just fine. Although, I don't think ingesting explosives was the best idea... I suppose that's why he stopped that act. Shame how he died…."

Starlight slowly clapped her hooves together, "That's a great parlor trick, but there are two problems, one, how would that trick help us? Two, faking our deaths wouldn't work because Twilight could see right through that, and three…Thorax is a changeling; he doesn't need to fake his death!"

"Well, I thought it wasn't an awful idea… maybe we could ditch the cart once we reach Yakyakistan and make it look like we had an accident!" Thorax chimed in.

"I was thinking we'd throw the fake bodies off a cliff, and they would explode at the bottom. It's not like they're going to be able to climb down and search under a ton of snow, could they?" Trixie smirked, propping up her head as she turned to Thorax. "Perhaps we could cause an avalanche?"

Starlight shook her head, "That would require us to be in their line of sight, and I'm not taking any chances in my condition."

Thorax nervously tapped his hooves together at the thought of potentially burying somepony under a thick blanket of ice and snow, "And an avalanche might hurt someone, and we all agreed to not hurt anypony else, remember?"

Trixie rolled her eyes and slumped back down, muttering under her breath, "Yeah yeah... well, it's not like I was the pony who froze somepony into a block of ice." She'd turn to Starlight with an insinuating glare.

"Please, that old sourpuss will be just fine; I've done freezing magic on living creatures before."

"....That doesn't inspire much confidence," Thorax admitted.

Starlight sighed, "Shouldn't you be pulling the cart?"

"Oh come now, Starlight, Thorax is our friend, isn't he? He should be allowed to warm up as long as he likes before going back into the cold. Don't you think that's what a true, kind friend would do?" The showpony smirked, crossing her legs.

Starlight sighed, "You're right, Trixie, how inconsiderate of me. Why don't YOU go out and pull the cart while our friend here can take a load off after pulling the cart through the ice and snow. You seem to have plenty of energy, after all."

Trixie groaned, wrinkling her nose. "You just saw him feed off of me. Since you're so eager to talk, why don't you give it a shot? You did claim you were so powerful."

"Yes, I did, didn't I? But unfortunately, because I used my power to SAVE all of us, I can't really compromise myself any more than I already have, TRIXIE." snarled Starlight.

"Puh-LEASE, you could have run off on your own and left us, and we would have been fine hiding in the sewer! You were the one they really wanted anyways..." Trixie rolled her eyes, huffing indignantly.

Thorax sighed, "Guys, please, there's no need to fight. I'll drag the cart…" he'd quickly flutter to his hooves before hopping out the back door. Moments later, he'd begin pounding on the door.

"Uh, guys? I think everyone should come out, like right now!"

"CEASE YOUR YAPPING PONY! YOU ENTER YAK TERRITORY AND INTRUDE ON YAK SOVEREIGNTY, YAKS SMASH!" Thundered the stranger.

"WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!" Thorax cried out as dozens of thundering hooves raced toward the wagon, rocking the flimsy cart as the yaks drew near.

As soon as Trixie heard "smash," she was up on her hooves and scrambling out the door. She would not let ANYPONY touch her wagon again; anything bigger than a pile of snow could turn it into four wheels and scrap wood.

Skidding to a halt, the showpony took in a deep breath, her horn lighting up with one of the few spells she was capable of.

With her voice amplified five times its usual volume, Trixie bellowed into the frost-bitten air, "HALT! YOU WILL NOT DARE TOUCH THE GREAT AND MAGNIFICENT HOME OF THE POWERFUL MAGICIAN... TRRRRRIXIE!"

With all her strength, she fired a light show into the air. The purple and teal light exploded into a shimmering spectrum of color against the snow and ice in the air, nearly resembling the Crystal Empire's aurora borealis. Even Trixie herself was impressed. Usually, she would perform such a spell to scare away predators on her travels, but this would work too.

Thorax was covering his head as he trembled in terror looking up at the spectacular light show, oouing and awing at the magic. He would shakily rise to his hooves as he slowly turned to Trixie, giving her rousing applause.

The showpony couldn't help but grin, pressing a hoof to her chest as she preened at the praise. "Yes, yes, thank you. I know, I'm amazing."

The yaks quickly screeched to a halt as the small scouting party stared in a mix of terror and intrigue at the magic. 

Starlight quickly kicked the back door open as she stumbled out of the wagon, "WAIT, PLEASE DON'T ATTACK US! WE COME BEARING TERRIBLE NEWS! YOU ARE ALL IN GREAT DANGER!" thundered Starlight as she let out a sickly cough. 

Trixie would cock a brow, just as interested to hear what she'd have to say. As Thorax slowly turned his attention to the ill mare.

The mare quickly recovered before putting on her most authoritative and commanding voice, "WE ARE BUT HUMBLE PERFORMERS, PONIES WHO WERE BANISHED FROM THEIR HOMS US FOR STANDING AGAINST TYRANNY! YAKS OF YAKYAKISTAN, HEAR ME NOW! AN ARMY IS COMING, YOU ARE ALL IN GRAVE DANGER, AND WE ARE HERE TO WARN YOU OF A LOOMING ATTACK FROM THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE!"

The platoon leader scoffed, "Yaks have not seen ponykind in over a thousand years! Why would they dare attack us great and powerful yaks, and why would you pony folk come help us!?"

Starlight panted as she cleared her now sore throat, "We are but humble performers, but we believe in helping others who are like us, right…?" she'd slowly turn to her companions...

"Trixie is a performer, but she is NOT humble. She's more than humble! Trixie is a paragon of ponies, known across the land as a powerful magician." Trixie smirked as she put her snout in the air. "Trixie has come to aid these poor Yaks with her magic, and this is Trixie's assistant, Thorax the Great." 

The showpony was incredibly careful not to agree or disagree with Starlight's statement, glancing at her smugly, "Oh, and this is Trixie's wagon-puller."

Thorax beamed brightly at the title, "Thorax the Great..." he whispered pleasantly to himself.

Starlight couldn't help but scoff, letting out a hoarse sigh, "Likewise… we are here to warn you of invasion, and we seek asylum into your kingdom! Please, we only want peace and co-existence!"

The yak leader slowly turned to his fellow warriors as they turned and discussed amongst themselves. While Starlight nervously fidgeted with her mane as the band of warriors came to an agreement. 

"....Yaks have come to an agreement; ponies may speak to Prince Rutherford about living with yaks, but more importantly about the invasion. BUT PONIES STAY IN CART WHILE YAKS TAKE YOU TO YAKYAKISTAN, AND NO TRICKS OR YAKS SMASH YOU INTO TINY PIECES!"

Thorax gulped as he nervously chuckled, "Ah ha yeah, no problem!" Thorax quickly nudged Trixie and Starlight into the cart before the wagon began to move as the yaks started tugging it along through the snow.

Starlight glared at Trixie, "What was THAT?" whispered Starlight.

Trixie sighed and rolled her eyes as she got comfortable inside the wagon, laying back down. 

"Geez, you really don't know anything about Illusion, do you? If they believe I am powerful, then I am Powerful. You heard them, didn't you? They haven't had contact with ponykind in a thousand years. I can say anything I want about who I am, what I can do, and what we have done in Equestria. Did you really not think about that?" The showmare let out a loud yawn. "Seriously, I'm certain even Thorax has caught on sooner."

"This is delicate, Trixie! We are dealing with the leaders of a nation as humble refugees, not outspoken self-made performers! If we appear too prideful or not take ourselves seriously enough, we'll be forced to go back down the mountain, and spoiler alert-"

She'd shake her empty saddlebags, "We don't have the supplies for that!"

Thorax piped up, "But isn't that a lie?"

"Well…we are refugees."

"Fugitives more like it."

Starlight sighed, "Potato, tomato, it's irrelevant!"

"But what about the whole invasion part? What if Twilight doesn't make it? What if she explains her side and they believe her instead of us." asked Thorax.

Starlight sighed, "I am trying my best, Thorax, but you're asking me to make a miracle out of nothing but my bare hooves here!"

"Honestly, you have got to be kidding me," Trixie sighed, crossing her hooves as the changeling and mare argued. Rolling to sit up, she pointed at both of them.

"I am imbuing exactly enough pride into my performance. Do you honestly think they would take us seriously if those yaks saw us as meek and helpless? I am a powerful magician who has come here to help them protect their land, and I will regale them with all of my stories and accomplishments. You two are just my assistants. Would you rather us walk into their village looking like easy prey? If they are not hesitant to attack us, they might just make us into slave labor." Trixie snorted, "Besides, I might have a few ideas on how to make them hesitant to listen to Twilight Sparkle..."

Starlight rolled her eyes before erupting into a coughing fit as she pounded her chest with her hoof, "We need to look approachable; if we look too confident, we might be seen as a threat and we need to be trusted. Besides… yaks don't use slave labor." 

"How would you know? It's been a thousand years!" Trixie threw up her hooves in exasperation.

"Where would they get slaves, Trixie? They haven't seen any other creatures in that time!" she scoffed, "Besides, I don't think Twilight would indulge in friendship with a slave state!"

"How do we know? We haven't had any information about them. Perhaps they enslave weaker yaks; you don't know, so don't insinuate I'm stupid for having reservations!" Trixie threw her nose up in the air, crossing her hooves.

The mare sighed as she rested, rubbing her now sore and tender head, exhausted from using her energy to shout at the yaks earlier, "What's your plan, and please tell me it's something rational…."

"Well, we have a changeling right here. Just have him disguise himself as Twilight and declare war on them." The showpony replied, lying back down on the empty potato sack.

"Uhm… that's a great idea, Trixie, but I have a few problems… they expect an army, and how would I… y'know escape after I declare war…?" Thorax said as he tapped his hooves awkwardly.

"Well, obviously, you'd just turn invisible or into a rock once you get out of their line of sight. Or I would personally banish you," the showpony smirked, 

Starlight groaned, "My idea works fine, they'll see her soldiers, and they'll ready the troops, and Twilight will either back off or come back alone. No need to complicate this simple process Trixie; you never listen…."

Trixie turned to Starlight, "I think you don't listen! Just because you had a cult once doesn't make you the boss of us!"

"It wasn't a cult; it was a community! Not like you would know anything about a community since you are some sort of traveling clown who lives in a wagon by herself!" snarled Starlight, "I managed events, built homes, our food supply, the harshest of winters, and an outbreak of the flu! So excuse me if I think I'm more qualified in handling TWO ponies!"

"Um… one pony and one changeling." correct Thorax.

Starlight gripped the sides of her head as her anger boiled over. Days of being isolated and having to deal with Trixie and Thorax finally took their toll as the mare, for a brief moment, completely lost her composure.

"Shut up! Shut up, good Celestia. I should've left both of you,Twilight and her friends!" snapped Starlight.

"Maybe you should have, then we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place, and you can be happy being all by yourself!" Trixie hissed back, "What do you really have, Starlight? Why do you think you're so much better than everypony else when you claim that everypony should be equal? You're a hypocrite. At least I'm not two-faced. I just tell it how it is. "

Starlight stamped her hoove into Trixie's chest, "Do you want to know what I have? I have a mouth-breather who thinks she's the best thing since sliced bread, who can't even do a basic teleportation spell and a changeling who thinks we can be friends with our arch enemy!" 

Trixie rose up on her haunches at the contact, ready to launch herself at the unicorn, barely an inch away from attacking her, even in her weakened state. "Oh yeah? I might not be able to teleport, but I've got four hooves..."

Thorax quickly forced the two a few feet apart with his front legs as he got in between them.

"Girls, please! This is getting us nowhere! Now we've been cooped up in this wagon for days, we're sick and tired of this cold, and we all have… different perspectives on life. But we're in this together, and we can't fall apart when we're so close to the finish line."

He'd quickly wrap his front legs around both mares as he pulled them close, "Besides, uh… wouldn't splintering apart make Twilight and her friends, um, stronger?" Thorax said as he attempted to placate the unicorns with their mutual disdain for the alicorn.

The showpony was still unsure about contact with the changeling, squirming slightly under his grip. "Well... you're right about one thing; I am tired of this cold. They better let us into one of their houses... or huts... it's been a while since I've taken geography."

Starlight firmly but politely removed the changelings' arm around her before scooting back slowly, "Well spoken Thorax… I see a great future in public speaking for you."

Thorax quickly released Trixie as he sighed, "Let's just take a deep breath and relax."

He'd slowly inhale and exhale before a loud pounding on the side of the wagon interrupted his meditation.

"We're here! Come out nice and slow and no funny business!" ordered the yak.

Exiting the cart, the three would see the large village. Dozens of tents made of wool and huts made of straw and mud bricks lined the stone-tile streets, which led to a massive tent at the far end of town. Dozens of small campfires were littered across the village. There was a distinctive smokey aroma paired with the scent of the fresh scent of harvested wool.

The symphony of foreign sounds echoed through the streets of this alien land. As dozens of calves raced through the streets playing a strange ball game. With torches illuminating the dozens of street vendors selling wares and food unknown to the three outsiders.

Thorax excitedly studied this new land while Trixie looked around the village with moderate distaste. It wasn't any worse than the backwater pony towns she had been to, but she had been run out plenty of times by those hicks. She'd have to play carefully.

Starlight could've erupted in a fit of psychotic laughter if she wasn't attempting to make appearances. The unbridled joy she felt in knowing she not only survived the horrendous trek with all the setbacks in mind. But not only that, she inadvertently beat Twilight Sparkle and made history by being one of the first creatures to visit Yakyakistan in over a thousand years.

The platoon of yaks slowly pushed the group toward the massive tent at the far end of town. As the platoon leader's voice thundered through the streets, "MAKE WAY! SCOUTING PARTY RETURNS! MAKE WAY CALVES AND TRADER YAKS!"

Dozens of yaks would stare in silence as they intently stared at these strangers who, in their eyes, trespassed. However, not all were opposed to this group of misfits. Some watched in piqued interest as they were escorted toward the massive tent. There was a quiet rumble as the yaks whispered thoughts of opposition and fear or interest and excitement.

An uneasy feeling hung over the party as they looked at one another, praying to whatever god they believed in not to abandon them when they had pushed so far.

The platoon lifted the tent's flap revealing a small group of yaks sitting around the large fire inside. The showpony couldn't help but sigh in relief as soon as she stepped into the tent. Finally, she was getting some feeling back in her hooves. 

One large orange yak slowly rose, "Scouting party returns; what have you found?"

"We found three pony folk who claim they are traveling performers and refugees from Crystal Empire; they say an attack is coming, Prince Rutherford…."

The prince paused, stroking his chin and beard as he examined the three, taking notice of Starlight's sickly state, "Speak your piece."

Starlight bowed, "We are but traveling performers from the Crystal Empire, refugees from a tyrannical monarch who seeks your destruction. Please, we only ask refuge from the incoming army that seeks your destruction."

The elder yaks would debate amongst themselves as the prince raised a hoof, "Yaks haven't seen pony folk in over a thousand years, and last time yaks heard of Crystal Empire, it was taken by the frozen north! What happened to them and King Sombra?" questioned an elder yak.

"Your highness, King Sombra has been slain for a few moons now, but a new threat has risen up to take his place, and they are as dangerous," explained Starlight.

The elder yaks rumbled as they discussed this news before being silenced by Rutherford.

"... If what you say is true, then you are welcome to stay in Yakyakistan, but be warned, if ponies cause trouble, we will send you back down the mountain…." he'd slam his hooves against the earth, "IN TINY PIECES!"

The prince quickly squeezed Starlight as an audible crack of bone echoed through the tent, "Welcome to Yakyakistan, pony folk!"

"T-thank you…." squeaked Starlight as she riled in agony.

Trixie couldn't help but snicker at the sight of the yak nearly breaking Starlight's back before stepping forward.

"Thank you ever so much, your highness; if Trixie may be so bold, her wagon and place of home were nearly destroyed fleeing from those tyrants. Could we stay in one of your tents, or could Trixie receive the supplies to repair it?" Trixie pulled off her hat, kneeling down with her head bowed.

The elders would debate amongst themselves before the eldest of the elder yaks spoke, "Yaks consider giving Trixie new wagon… for a show. You are performers, are you not?"

Prince Rutherford nodded, "Yes, yaks would love to see pony magic! Yaks hear it's terrific."

The elders would stamp in agreement, shaking the tent and earth beneath them.

Starlight slowly peeled from the ground beneath her as she rubbed her spine, "That won't be a problem, your majesty… uh… do you have anything for the cold and uhm… illness? I'm a little under the weather to perform after traveling through the cold..."

"Hmmm, give yak herbal tea," ordered Rutherford with the clap of his hooves.

A servant yak quickly shoved a bitter brew down Starlight's gullet as the mare held back from retching, her lilac color turning into a sickly green as she weakly whimpered a thank you.

"Tomorrow, we will discuss the looming threat against yaks, but tonight we celebrate the arrival of these new friends of Yakyakistan. Be ready by sundown magic ponies; I want a show for my meal! I'm tired of listening to Elder Rugen's poetry…" grumbled Rutherford.

"How dare you, Rugen's poetry good!" gasped Rugen.

The two yaks quickly smashed heads together as a brawl erupted in the tent. A servant yak slowly gestured for the three to leave the tent.

Trixie grinned at the opportunity presented, and she would be finally performing for royalty. Sure it wasn't Celestia, Luna, or even Cadance, but it was royalty!

"Don't worry, your majesty, the Great and Powerful Trixie will give you a show that you will never forget!" the mare put her hat back atop her head before wrapping a levitation spell around Starlight, dragging her out of the tent.

"Do you really think you can keep up, Starlight? I'm certain I can dazzle them without you..." Trixie asked airly before whispering, "I'm pretty sure I could show them the rabbit in the hat trick, and that would be enough to impress them."

Starlight rolled her eyes; her body, mane, and tail suddenly straightened out, the mare quickly taking control of her body as she landed on the ground and practically bounced around the village before landing next to Trixie. Violently vibrating as every muscle pulsated. 

"HOLY MOLY, THAT HERBAL TEA KICKS LIKE A MULE; I THINK I'M GONNA–" The mare quickly covered her mouth as she rushed over behind a nearby tent and hurled. 

Thorax winced as she slowly turned to Trixie with expressed worry. The showpony grimaced at the sight, shivering in disgust before shaking her head at the changeling.

Starlight quickly trotted over as she rubbed her mouth clean, "Sorry, I feel… better. Like I'm going to vomit, but… better than I was before… I wonder what they put in that stuff…."

Thorax slowly opened his mouth.

Starlight waved him off, "Never mind; I don't wanna know."

She took a deep breath, "Now…" she'd turn to Trixie, "You want to perform with Thorax tonight? Fine, but put your best hoof forward; this is the biggest show of your life. One wrong move, and we're back in the cold."

"Please, I've performed for thousands of ponies; how bad can a herd of yaks be?" as she said those words, the showpony suddenly felt a bit anxious, "A crowd of angry... stomping... yaks..."

She shook her head, regaining her confident smile. "I'm going to knock them dead, you'll see! Now c'mon, let's get something to eat; they have to have something edible..."

"Please… please don't mention food." Starlight would quickly cover her mouth as she felt herself gag.