A/N: PinkieDash is all better now, chapters from here on out will have +5 quality points
The rest of that day was rather uneventful; Crafter and Ditzy packed what they needed for the trip, Dinky was sent over to the care of Carrot Top for the week, and Ditzy informed her replacement mailmare of the absence. After the pre-honeymoon preparations were completed, the couple spent the remainder of the day quietly watching their favorite movies.
***
Crafter and Ditzy woke up extra early the next morning to make sure they had everything; both of them had a history of being forgetful. “Do we have everything?” Ditzy asked as they were leaving.
“I think so.” Crafter responded as he locked the door.
“Great, lets go then.”
They made their way to the train station, eager to start their honeymoon. Ponyville was too small to have an airport and the closest city that had one was Canterlot, which had a direct rail line to Ponyville. Something didn’t feel right, Crafter probed the saddlebag he wore with his magic, feeling around to make sure they had everything. Suddenly it clicked, he knew what they were forgetting. Without a word he darted back to the house to get the airship tickets, it would have been devastating to have forgotten those.
“Um, where did you run off too?” Ditzy asked when her husband returned, gasping for breath. By the time he got back, she had made it to the train station already.
“We... forgot... the airship tickets.” He wheezed.
Ditzy just facehooved “I knew we were forgetting something!”
Crafter just took a seat on a bench to catch his breath while Ditzy bought the train tickets to Canterlot. The instant she got the tickets, the train pulled into the station.
***
“I hope Dinky will be ok spending a week with Carrot Top.” The protective mother inside Ditzy coming out. They had been on the train for about an hour, the closer Crafter and Ditzy got to Canterlot, the more excited and nervous they both became. Ditzy was worried about leaving her daughter for a week, and Crafter was worried about being in Canterlot.
“She’ll be fine, she’s safer than I am.” Crafter reassured.
“Oh?” Ditzy asked with a doubting tone.
“The Princess Luna incident.” He whispered, reminding Ditzy of the dangers he faced every day.
Ditzy’s cheeks turned red from embarrassment, she knew the risks he took first-hoof.
Crafter gave his wife a peck on the cheek, telling her it was no big deal.
***
When they at last arrived in Canterlot, they were instantly taken to customs inspection. After an hour and several close calls, they wasted no time finding a city map.
“I can’t find CAX anywhere on this thing.” Crafter complained, squinting at the map.
“We could always ask for directions.” Ditzy whispered playfully into his ear, expecting the typical male response.
It appeared that either Crafter hadn’t heard her, or was (more likely) ignoring her suggestion; the reaction Ditzy was expecting. After studying the map for a little bit more, Crafter walked off in the direction he assumed was the right way with Ditzy following behind with a quiet giggle.
Somehow they ended up in the Canterlot Sculpture Garden; various famous statues lined the path, each one from a different moment in Equestrian history. Ahead of them stood the statue of Discord, with a pale yellow unicorn standing before it, deep in thought.
Suddenly remembering how hard of a time Crafter had talking to ponies he didn’t know, Ditzy got an evil idea. “Bet you can’t ask her for directions.”
“Um, ok?” Crafter replied, giving his wife an odd look. “What are the terms?”
“I won’t tell you until you accept.”
“I thought I just did.” He was starting to get suspicious.
An evil smile grew on Ditzy’s face. “If you can’t successfully ask for directions: you aren’t getting any during our trip.”
It took a moment for Crafter to process what Ditzy had meant, “Aw wait what? That’s kinda harsh don’t you think?” he replied, splaying his ears back.
“Those are my terms, if you back out now that counts as a loss.” she countered, sticking out her tongue for finality.
With a heavy sigh, Crafter began walking up to the mare at the statue, Ditzy right next to him to make sure he saw the challenge through. “Excuse me?” He asked once he was close enough, the mare didn’t hear him. “Excuse me.” He said a little louder, the mare hearing him this time. “Can you tell us how to get to the Canterlot Airport?”
The pale unicorn turned to face them, “Yes of course, it’s at the other end of Canterlot,” she said pointing to her right “a few miles down the road after Donut Joe’s place, you can’t miss it.”
Crafter tuned to face Ditzy, smiling smugly. “It looks like I've beaten your little challenge.”
Ditzy just rolled her eyes. “Ok fine, you win.”
The mare who gave the directions let out a chuckle. “Where you two headed anyway?”
Ditzy, forgetting all about her evil plan to torture her husband, immediately answered with a voice full of excitement. “We’re going to Prance for our honeymoon!”
“No kidding? Congratulations.”
“Thanks!” It had been ages since she last went to Prance, the very idea of a chance to visit again filled her with joy. She let out a squee when she realized that the visit would be with the pony she loved. “Ooohh I can’t wait. Common Crafter, the sooner we get to the airport, the sooner we can start our honeymoon!” She let out another squee and pulled Crafter off in the direction of the airport, leaving the other mare in the dust.
***
Once they reached the renowned ‘Donut Joe’s Donut Shop’, they looked around to try and find CAX. It didn’t take long to locate, it was hard to miss a large structure that was being supported by two intersecting stone arches. The arches themselves made an ‘X’ pattern, holding up a disk-like building attached to the ground by a small tube-like building. The whole structure looked like it belonged in a mag-fi movie as some form of spaceship.
“I never understood why they called the Canterlot International Airport ‘CAX’ and not ‘CIA’, it makes no since.” Crafter pointed out as they made their way to the airport.
Ditzy just gave a shrug. “Maybe because of the ‘x’ shape the arches make.”
“Maybe, I still think it should be called ‘CIA’ though.”
Ditzy gave him a playful shove over his stubbornness.
***
The airport was even more stressful than the train station, the line for ticket confirmation was long and security was understandably strict. “Your file says you’re a repairpony, yet you didn’t start charging for work until the crackdown...” One of the security officers performing background checks said, looking through several manilla folders containing Celestia knows how much information on everypony.
Crafter started to sweat, but he knew how to answer this without giving himself away. “Well I was doing it for charity, but once the crackdown started, I didn’t want to give the wrong impression.” He lied smoothly, despite his racing heart.
The officer looked through more of the papers in his folder, to see if that story matched his history. “I can see that causing some problems, many private charity operators did the same thing. You two are clear to go.”
Heaving a sigh of relief, Crafter and Ditzy made their way to the gate. “That was a close one.” Ditzy whispered once they took a seat outside the gate.
Crafter just gave a weak smile, the loud chatter of the airport and the stress of security ate away at his mental endurance.
Picking up on his aching head, Ditzy just wrapped a wing around her husband and pulled him into a comforting embrace which Crafter readily accepted.
After waiting three hours to be allowed to board, the passengers were finally allowed to onto the airship. It took the airport staff some effort to convince Crafter that the airship was one hundred percent safe for departure, there were several points on the boarding ramp where Crafter almost turned and ran off, only to be pulled back by the tail by Ditzy.
***
“You are such a scaredy cat.” Ditzy chuckled when they reached their middle class cabin. “You sure you’re going to be alright?” she asked in a much more caring tone.
“So long as I don’t go outside I should be fine.” Crafter said, still visibly stressed.
Ditzy nuzzled his cheek to help relax him. “I'm going to go see what they have at the café for lunch, want anything?”
“I could really use some peanuts right now, lots of them. Also if they have any wine, that would help lower the anxiety.”
She raised an eyebrow at that. “You’re going to get drunk?”
“It’s what my mom did whenever she flew.” Crafter said with a shrug. “She was actually afraid of heights.”
“No guarantees about the wine, but I’ll be sure to bring you plenty of peanuts.” Ditzy said with a chuckle. After giving Crafter a peck on the cheek, she left to find the café.
***
As Ditzy wondered about the hallways trying to find the café, she opened up the locket she had around her neck. Inside was a little compass so she wouldn’t get lost and a family picture so she wouldn’t feel lonely. It was a nervous habit to open the locket whenever she felt lost or lonely, seeing the compass and her family gave her the sense of direction she needed to reach her destination. The locket was a gift Crafter had made before his first Winter Wrap Up; he was worried about her beating herself up over getting lost, so he made her a compass. He then realized she might get lonely on her trip because she was so used to being with loved ones, so he put it in a locket with a family photo taken on Hearths Warming Day.
Ever since she got that locket, she hadn’t felt lonely or lost a single day of the week. “I love you Crafter.” She whispered. With a newfound sense of direction, she had little trouble finding her way to the café.
The café was a large room with tables and chairs bolted to the floor; it wasn’t a low class cafeteria, but it wasn’t a high class restaurant either. There were several ponies sitting at the tables enjoying their lunch, and trying to hold conversations with other ponies at their table. Suddenly the intercom crackled to life, a calm male voice with a heavy Trottish accent come through. “This is your captain speakin’. We r’ ready t’ begin our non-stop flight to Prance and will be leaven’ port very soon, please make sure yee r’ in a seated position and all loose items r‘ secured. Thank yee for choosing Equestrian Airlines and enjoy yir flight.”
Thinking she should be with Crafter during launch, Ditzy grabbed several bags of peanuts and two small cartons of wine, and then hurried to get back to their cabin before the airship took off.
***
Ditzy got back to the room right as the airship started to lift into the sky, the upward motion causing her to stumble upon entering the room. “I got the peanuts.” She told Crafter, who was staring out the porthole. “You alright?”
“Yeah,” He simply replied “as much as I hate the technology, the sensation of flying is amazing.”
Ditzy just chuckled; glad he wasn’t blinded by his fear. “It is something else.”
Crafter levitated the bags of peanuts over to himself, eager to start consumption. “One of the things I envy about pegasi, the freedom to go wherever you want; while I'm stuck on the ground.” By the tone of his voice, Ditzy could tell he was in one of those moods again and needed cheering up stat.
“Well it’s a good thing I got these.” Ditzy said, pulling out the cartons of wine from under her wing. “I figured, what they hay, and got one for myself.”
“You certainly know how to cheer a guy up.” He chuckled, levitating one of the small boxes over to himself and sticking the straw in. After helping Ditzy with hers, he proposed a toast: “To a long and happy marriage.”
They tapped cartons, pretending they were glasses, and each took a sip.
***
After about three days of travel, Ditzy finally managed to convince Crafter to go out onto to main deck. Shakily, he made his way up the wooden stairs that led outside, Ditzy giving moral support from behind him with each step he took. Once the deck, there were several lawn chairs set out around umbrellas that were bolted in place. The airship had two airbags (which Crafter did his best not to look at), one on either side as to avoid blocking the sun for patrons who wanted to tan. There was a bar built into the floor towards the center of the vessel near the central tower, calming music played from speakers hooked up around it.
“Can you find us a place to sit while I get us something to drink?” Ditzy asked once Crafter was completely out on the deck.
“S-sure,” he shakily replied “n-no problem.”
“Well well well, what do we have here?” A jockey voice from behind taunted before Ditzy could leave. “A pegasus on an airship? Isn't that just the pinnacle of laziness?”
Ditzy and Crafter turned to face the source of the voice, behind them stood three large earth ponies, almost as large as Big Macintosh. “Yeah I'm on an airship, so what?” Ditzy asked defensively.
“So what?” He asks with a laugh, causing his fellow idiots to laugh with him. “You see, that’s not going to work.” He then points to Crafter, too stupid to realize their together. “You probably took a ticket away from one of his friends and how he’s traveling alone.”
Crafter just raised an eyebrow, but before he can speak, Ditzy beats him to it. “You guys obviously don’t know pegasus biology, Prance is a long ass flight.” A donkey let out a bray from the bar. “No offence.” She hastily added.
“None taken.” The mule said.
Getting back on her train of thought, Ditzy continued her comeback. “You guys also don’t know a relationship when you see one.”
The group of earth ponies laughed. “What do ‘relationships’ have to do with you stealing a pony’s ticket? Is he your coltfriend or something?”
Crafter stepped forward, laying on his Stalliongrad accent and acted as intimidating as he could. “I'm her husband.”
The jocks stood silent for a moment, ponies from the northern territory tended to be tougher than others (for obvious reasons). Then, all their intelligence was flushed down the drain when they started laughing again. “And what are you going to do nerd?”
Crafter was normally a hardcore pacifist, avoiding any sort of conflict as much as he possibly could. But something in his mind snapped, a lifetime of repressed bullying started to boil up. Before he could act upon his mindless rage, a loud, ear piercing whistle echoed across the sky. “JUST WHAT DO YEE THINK YEE BASTARDS R’ DO’N?!” a Trottish voice bellowed out after everypony recovered from the noise. The three earth ponies turned to face the pony who dared butt in. They were greeted by the sight of an older pegasus dressed in REA uniform and a naval whistle hanging around his neck glaring them down, the captain. “Yee’ll NOT act that way on MY vessil.”
“Dude it’s the captain.” One of the lackeys fearfully whispered.
“Yir darn right I be the captain, and I have every right t’ throw you overboard with nay but the lifeboat.”
The three jocks gulped and ran off, not wanting to push their luck.
“Wow.” Crafter said after he stopped seeing red.
“Thanks for getting rid of them sir.” Ditzy said warmly.
“Ack’t think nothin of it lass, I don’t tolerate such behavior on my ship.” The captain casually said. “If yee don’t mind, I’d like to buy yee a drink t’ make up fir the trouble they caused.”
Crafter and Ditzy shared a look of agreement. “I don’t see why not.”