It was a little after four o’clock, which was far over the time Princess Luna had allocated for the first meeting of the Crystal Summit Committee. The session wasn’t supposed to be a long ordeal. Just a quick way to introduce each other, discuss roles, and cover the larger ideas Luna envisioned. After almost an additional forty-five minutes, the only thing crystal was how clearly obstinate these ponies would always be.
Fancy Pants put his pocket watch away and looked around the familiar meeting room. Aside from the additional moon motifs to complement the various suns, nothing much had changed about his old workspace. The table was just as wide, the meetings were just as long, and the nobles were just as insufferable. For her part, Luna was running it better than expected despite the gentry’s constant interruptions. She’d tried to stop their squabbling on multiple occasions, which only seemed to fuel further squabbles.
Everypony’s attempts to wrest control from the reclusive princess made Fancy appreciate how effortlessly her elder sister negotiated around their egos. Princess Celestia masterfully weaved vague answers that were equal parts clear and confounding. Anypony that tried to counter her would find themselves lunging at nothing before falling to an unseen attack from all sides. Meanwhile, Luna refused to play any games. She’d brought a verbal battle axe to clear-cut through forests of nonsense. The sweeping swipes left a path of destruction, allowing the sneakier ponies to endlessly nitpick her meanings.
Fancy had held back unless absolutely necessary, per Luna’s request, but he was starting to worry about maintaining his continued silence. The princess’ patience with the ordeal was nearing its limit. She’d swapped to the “royal we” out of stress fifteen minutes ago, and it seemed the other nobles could smell the blood in the water. Upper Crust especially was not taking Luna’s “no” for an answer.
“We hath weathered all thy infuriating—” Luna stopped herself before going too far with a deep breath through the nose. “Rather, we’ve understood, and continue to understand your numerous issues with your perceived change in leadership, but as we have clarified multiple times, our sister never specified the manner in which this summit would be conducted.”
“Please, I understand your highness, I really do. But it’s not an objection for my sake, but for Ambassador Dovetail’s,” Upper Crust deflected once more, moving back to Fancy’s successor for the millionth time. For the pegasus’ part, the ambassador herself had checked out and was probably lounging on a beach somewhere in her mind. “She has been working so closely with the Crystal Empire for months. It feels wrong to take her crowning achievement away from her.”
“As we have said before, Ambassador Dovetail will be at the actual ceremony. However, Sir Fancy Pants has graciously offered his assistance as well. He will be helping us in various ways, including helping ourselves with the finer details of the negotiations.”
“Haven’t we been doing that already with Princess Mi Amore Cadenza?”
“No. For various reasons, we have been working with our niece only, as the crystal ponies have…” Luna trailed as she tried to find a way to not let the weakened mental state of the crystal ponies slip. While not a secret that they were still out of sorts, the specific nature of their ailment left the crystal ponies vulnerable to coercion and manipulation. Some less scrupulous ponies might take the opportunity to use the potential fog in judgment to make some very lucrative exclusivity deals at the Empire’s expense.
“They have been adjusting to the changes since the kingdom vanished,” Fancy clarified. “Princess Mi Amore Cadenza has been speaking for them as best she can, but nothing has been solidified with the crystal ponies themselves.”
Luna smiled through the exhaustion. “Thank you, Sir Fancy Pants.”
“All the more reason to have a face they will be familiar with then.” Upper Crust eyed the helpful stallion with a small frown. “While Sir Fancy Pants’ previous record is undeniable, he will be playing catch-up. I don’t see how this change can be beneficial for anypony. Ambassador Dovetail is more familiar with our dealings with the Empire. She’s been absolutely fundamental for all of us in helping make critical connections.”
Luna sucked in her lips and nodded with a silent plea for all of this just to end. “We are aware of your business exploits to help bring the Crystal Empire’s economy into modernity, but this final mission is a more diplomatic venture.”
“If I may be so bold, your highness, good trade is important to any international relationship. After all, what is the purpose of a treaty between nations but to profit together in friendship?”
“Do not speak down to me about running a nation, Upper Crust!” Luna fired back. “Fancy Pants’ kingmaker talents will make him ideal in perceiving what is best for both nations, not just Equestria.”
While several nobles backed away from the princess’ rising temper, Upper Crust brushed it off. “The success of both nations is my top priority. Their success is our success after all. I simply want to ensure they are given the best we have to offer.”
“And they will. We will be hosting the royal delegation within the castle while the servants and airship stay with Sir Fancy Pants at his estate. We do not anticipate any trouble, but in the event of another invasion-level threat, the delegation will be able to defend our guests along with their vessel more easily with their proximity to the castle. All other matters can be addressed in our meetings moving forward.”
Upper Crust raised her hoof once more. “But, your highness, if I may—”
“You. May. NOT!” Luna boomed as her patience finally reached its end. “If you refuse to bow out gracefully, then perhaps we must speak more plainly: We see thy maneuvers for what they are. Horst Holdings and its partners shall not be permitted to grant favored access to the delegation under our watch for any business contracts! Do we make ourselves clear, Upper Crust?”
The mare lifted a hoof to her chest in shock as she fought back a sly smile. “Please, your majesty! I was simply asking questions. You do not need to sink to baseless slander if we have a perceived disagreement between the two of us.”
Fancy cursed under his breath. So that was her plan all along. Looking at Luna, it seemed she was falling for it in her seething anger.
“Slander?” Luna stood up from the table, her mane flaring to life as the temperature began to drop. “You dare accuse us of slander after you so brazenly—”
“Pardon, your highness,” Fancy Pants interjected quickly, “I may be out of practice, but perhaps I can find an amicable solution here.”
“Amicable?” Luna sparked with the power of a pulsar. “She dare speaks of—”
Fancy ignored the outraged alicorn and raised his voice to the ambassador. “Pardon me, but perhaps we should ask Ambassador Dovetail for her opinion on the matter?”
Said pegasus’ ear flicked at the mention of her name, drawing her away from the terrifying princess’ presence filling the room. “Yes, Sir Fancy Pants?”
“Is my inclusion in this joint endeavor an inconvenience for you?”
She quickly shook her head. “No! N-not at all, sir!”
“Are you sure? As Upper Crust has correctly pointed out, I am a latecomer into the negotiations and need to be brought up to speed.”
“It will be a bit more work admittedly, but I also need to prepare Princess Luna. I believe I will be working with you both at once to not repeat the same information.”
“That is correct, and I look forward to working with you to fulfill your desires for the delegation.” Fancy smiled and bowed to the magnanimous diplomat, giving a quick wink to Luna, who ceased her enraged ascent and slowly lowered back to her seat in confusion.
With the ambassador’s clarification at the ready, he advanced towards his true opponent. “So if I understand the concern, Upper Crust, the problem stems from Princess Celestia tasking Princess Luna with managing the Crystal Summit as her first official international duty, which Princess Luna then requested that I assist her with preparations. Are you perhaps worried Princess Luna is incapable of performing this task?”
“Not at all,” Upper Crust quickly deflected.
“Then you doubt her judgment in selecting me to help perform?” Fancy pressed.
Upper Crust hesitated for a moment. “Not necessarily.”
“I see. So that is the heart of it. You believe Ambassador Dovetail is more equipped to deal with this?”
“Frankly, yes. She has spent more time with them, knows their taste and their customs, and is far more familiar with the relationships that have been established throughout these past months. The Crystal Empire knows her, not you.”
“Exactly. I am glad you understand, Upper Crust,” Fancy agreed with a smile.
“Wha—What do you mean?”
“While you and Ambassador Dovetail’s work has helped bring the crystal ponies up to speed on who we are today, Princess Luna knows who they were a thousand years ago better than anypony at this table. Where I come in is my ignorance of them both past and present.”
Upper Crust laughed. “Oh, this is rich. And here I thought you didn’t have a sense of humor. You mean to say that you haven’t done your homework on our potential allies at all?”
“Precisely. I’m glad you understand, despite it being a bit avant-garde. I’ve never interacted with them in a truly meaningful way, but I have worked with the other nations around our modern world. I am prepared to show them who we are as Equestrians and the allies they will be joining without knowing who they are, just as they won’t know who we all are. It will be a two-pronged approach between past and present ignorance. Such reckless faith will ensure we trust each other as we all move towards discovering what our futures can be together.”
Upper Crust’s mouth moved, but no words came out as she stumbled trying to follow his obtuse logic. Seeing the opening, Fancy went for the decisive blow. “Do you not trust me, Upper Crust?”
“Not at all. Why would I doubt the Kingmaker?”
Fancy smiled diplomatically. “Then there’s no need to worry, Upper Crust. I always choose the best of the best. As you’re so quick to point out, why would I do anything different?”
The haughty mare turned her nose up and snorted at the mere notion. “Of course, Sir Fancy Pants. You’ve never steered me wrong before. We just need to put our best hoof forward with your strategy of…” she stammered as she tried to formulate something to keep the discourse spiraling.
“I know it’s a bit hard to follow at first, but I’m glad I have your endorsement in this endeavor, Upper Crust.” Fancy bowed as Upper Crust’s eyes shot open, realizing she’d dropped the conversation too long and surrendered the match. She tried to add something else, but Fancy quickly cut her off. “Then, if we are all in agreement, I believe we’ve already taken up enough of Princess Luna’s precious time. Is that correct, your highness?”
“Y-yes,” Luna answered quickly, with a little too much desperation dripping from her words.
“Then, would you close us out, your highness?”
“Gladly!” Luna shot up from her cushion before another word could be uttered. “We hereby declare the end of the first meeting of the Crystal Summit Committee. Now if you will excuse me!” Luna slammed her side of the table, not even bothering with the gavel, and stormed out the doors to the safety of the castle’s private hallways.
Upper Crust scrambled to her hooves and tried to chase down the Kingmaker. “Wait! Sir Fancy Pants, a word—”
“If anypony has anything else they need to add, we will be accepting written proposals for the summit.” Fancy offered an apologetic bow and continued trotting to keep up with the alicorn. “For now, I must attend to Princess Luna.”
Not even bothering with Upper Crust’s disingenuous pleas, Fancy Pants turned away to follow Luna out the doors and let the guards cut off the nobles’ pursuit. Looking down the halls, he spotted Luna rushing away, forcing Fancy Pants to gallop after her.
“Luna! Please wait! Where are you going in such a hurry?”
“To beg our sister to reconsider our involvement in this accursed summit!” Luna answered, not slowing her gait in the slightest. “We were foolish to accept even the most simple of tasks. The basics remain beyond our capabilities. We lack the fortitude to maintain this modern ‘proper decorum’ amid such arrogant malcontents!”
“Your highness, we may still be within earshot,” Fancy whispered.
Luna stopped in her tracks and flashed around as quick as a comet to roar down the hallway. “Let the fullness of our rage fall upon their despicable ears! They heard us at the art exhibition and think we are naught but a blundering foal! That we would be blind to blatant sops! They only desire riches for themselves while draped in the trappings of friendships we wish to forge! The Empire is nothing but a line in their selfish ledgers! The crystal ponies would be fools to want anything to do with us!”
“I understand your assessment, Luna, but you must understand, this is not how the game is played.”
“Fie upon such games that these foul ponies play! With such options, we’d rather flip the table entirely! We thought the court a thousand years ago was despicable, but now we pray for their earned arrogance instead of these moneyed vipers!” Luna released her frustrations in several powerful bucks to a nearby pillar until it cracked. “Why has our sister allowed for Equestria’s politics to devolve to such useless frivolity? For what purpose can this possibly serve? We cannot operate within such stifling, circuitous word games!”
“It is true that it can be exhausting, but I promise that there are many talented ponies who support you. Both Princess Celestia and Equestria itself have greatly benefited from sharing the burden with loyal, talented individuals. It takes many ponies working around the clock to satisfy the needs of our complicated nation.” Fancy placed a supportive hoof on Luna’s shoulder. “Those like Ambassador Dovetail and the others are good ponies. They’re some of the best minds and talents of our age.”
Luna sneered sidelong at the hallway towards the meeting room. “It is not she that we are concerned with, but the rest. If they are among the best, then Equestria has indeed fallen into a sorry state.” Luna’s anger weighed down on her as she removed her tiara and looked upon her reflection in it. “And if we cannot best them, is that not the most severe indictment of our enfeebled abilities? We can only make an utter fool of ourselves with the most fundamental politicking!”
“If you ever feel overwhelmed, there is no shame in asking me for help. I’m here to support you, Luna.”
“You would not need to support us if we knew to stay in our place!”
“Please, you belong wherever you want to go. Your place is anyplace as we are lucky to have somepony as wonderful as you alongside your sister.”
“Silence! The only thing full of wonder is how a fool such as ourselves has not brought about ruin sooner. We are only useful when skulking the deep reaches where the wicked believe their machinations to be safe. Such ponies are only honest when they hide. Within this lying daylight, we are blinded!”
“It’s fine to make mistakes, Luna. You’re still adjusting.”
“And we will continue to adjust until the age has moved on without us once more. We cannot keep pace. Our desire to walk with others in the light is utter folly.”
This wasn’t working. The princess teetering on the verge of collapse sparked his stress casting to coil around his quartz. He’d kept his head on straight throughout the meeting, but seeing Luna’s needless struggle with self-loathing was too much for him to bear. No matter what he said, the princess wouldn’t stop beating herself up. He needed an argument so solid that she’d have no chance to turn it back on him. But what could he possibly say? He was drawing a blank.
No, that was the wrong question. There was nothing he could say that she hadn’t heard before in one form or another. But perhaps there was something only he could do.
Fancy quickly looked around and saw nopony was nearby. He grabbed Luna by the hoof with the sudden contact shocking her out of her rumination. “Come with me a moment.” They two trotted through the halls, taking the less-traveled areas to hopefully avoid any guards or castle staff. The last thing he wanted was to feed into the romantic rumors about them still floating around Canterlot.
“Fancy Pants?”
“Please, just trust me.”
After a few quick and careful dashes through several hallways, they finally arrived at the base of Luna’s personal tower. Seeing the confused Lunar guards stationed outside her quarters, Fancy trotted up to them and regarded them sternly. “Your names, now.”
“Royal Order,” the unicorn stallion answered.
“Silver Spear,” the nocturne mare replied. She looked past Fancy towards her patron princess with concern. “Is her majesty alright?”
“Nice to meet you Royal Order, Silver Spear.” Fancy offered a bow before rising with absolute authority. “To answer your question, I will be trying to remedy that. For now, just know if I hear even one whisper of me escorting the princess to her room, I will personally hold the two of you responsible. I may not be Equestria’s ambassador any longer, but I will do what I can to make sure that you are replaced by guards that can protect their princess. Do I make myself clear?”
“Yes, sir!” both answered quickly as they opened the door.
“Thank you. My apologies for being short with you. As you were.”
Fancy led the princess into the security of her private room. Unlike Princess Celestia’s personal quarters, which sprawled over several rooms of the castle, he was met with Luna’s preference for small, sparsely decorated spaces. There was a little library with a desk, a fireplace with a lounging cushion and coffee table, and a kitchenette with a glowing coaster Fancy recognized from its partner at the Labyrithiyum. Prominently displayed in the center of the room was a sigil-inlaid dais that reflected the phases of the moon.
There were no other doors, and for a princess who specialized in dream magic, the lack of a bed was odd to say the least. Instead, he guided Luna to her seat near the fireplace and gently laid her down on her cushion. He looked for nonmagical means to light the fireplace, but Luna would never need such a thing with the power at her disposal. He was far too stressed to light the logs and instead knelt down next to the princess.
“What are you doing?” Luna asked with concern.
“Something that could confuse others that might see us.” With no hesitation, Fancy dipped his head and met the tip of his horn with hers. “Listen to the sound of my voice. Focus on nothing else and breathe.”
“What?”
“No questions, just clear your head and breathe, please.” Fancy followed his own instructions, taking care not to exhale in the princess’ muzzle. This wasn’t a dream, and he didn’t have anything to chase away his potentially bad breath.
A small smile crept across Luna’s face. “You are aware that this is meant to be accompanied by a relaxing spell, right?”
“Unfortunately, I’ve only been on the receiving end, so this cheap imitation will have to do,” Fancy replied with a smirk of his own. “Besides, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the magic enough to perform it anyway.”
Luna nodded slightly as she looked up at his horn. “Indeed. Your aura pulses erratically. I thought I was the one who was supposed to be upset.”
“You’ve seen my dreams lately.”
“I have. And you are so unfair to yourself; placing so much undue burden upon your withers. I am guilty of the same at this moment. Still, I wasn’t aware you were involuntarily casting magic.”
“Neither was I until Vinyl pointed it out. Now, if you’d humor me and try to ignore it.”
“Of course, dear Fancy Pants.”
Following his request, Luna shut her eyes and matched Fancy’s breathing. After a few moments, Luna began to channel her magic and Fancy Pants felt her gentle spellwork silence the acute stress roiling in his head.
“Subliminal Soothing. It's a dream spell that envelopes the subject’s unconscious mind and calms it with a flow of harmonious emotions from the caster, but it requires both parties to be synchronized. I can cast it like an illusion, but it is better when the soul is at peace so the effects are genuine.”
“You don’t need to lie to me to help me feel better,” Fancy assured.
Luna smiled peacefully. “If it was an illusion, admitting it now would’ve broken the spell.”
Fancy backed away from the contact. “Then, is it safe to say that you're feeling better?”
“From the moment our horns touched.” Luna embraced her friend in a desperate wing hug. She kissed the base of his horn and sat back down with a serene smile. “I cannot thank you enough for your tenderness, dear Fancy Pants. I have friends like you and sweet Athena to be there for me when I cast myself into darkness.”
“We will always do our best to help you.”
“And I you. Both of you.” Luna concentrated and summoned another lounging cushion in her midnight magic and set it to Fancy’s side. “Now, despite your invasion into my personal space, it would be remiss of me not to offer you a seat in my own room.”
Nodding in reply. Fancy moved the cushion to the other side of the coffee table and took his seat. The princess looked at the table between them and shrugged with a smile. Her horn lit up as her aura went to work in the kitchenette, preparing some coffee to go along with the table.
“I must say. Charging so brazenly into a lady’s quarters and threatening her guards? I would never expect such behavior from you. You’ve been trained so well by my sister,” Luna remarked as she hovered a cup of coffee to her guest.
Fancy took a cursory sniff to ensure it didn’t burn his nostrils with hellfire, before taking a sip of the delightfully normal brew. “I’ve found my words to be much less helpful as of late, so I’ve been trying to be more actionable when they fail me.”
“While appreciated, I must wholeheartedly disagree with that notion. You were able to end the meeting where my attempts proved utterly inept. I must admit, I am still unsure how you did so. I couldn’t quite follow the logic of your agreement with Upper Crust.”
Fancy straightened up with pride. “That’s because there wasn’t any.”
“What?” the princess asked with a laugh.
“We’d already accepted her objection’s framing and, to be fair to her, it was a rather solid one. I’d hoped she’d run out of steam, but Upper Crust can be a very persistent mare when she has her eyes set on her target. Instead, I simply gave an absurd answer with enough confidence to muddy the waters before changing the question to a more favorable one. I didn’t let her fully process what I had said and took the pause to end the meeting in a way nopony could object to.”
“So, you countered her disingenuity with tomfoolery?”
“Truly the boldest of balderdash,” Fancy proudly claimed as he smirked victoriously.
“Quite devious of you, Fancy Pants. Not the most honorable way for a knight my sister appointed to conduct themselves. I must be having an effect on you.”
“Only the best kind, I assure you.”
“Be careful what strength you draw upon for me. My words would have resulted in different litigation after sending Upper Crust through a wall. I much preferred your modern spin on a clandestine solution.” An insidious grin split the princess’ face as she pondered their position. “Perhaps we could do something about that meddlesome mare to spare ourselves further trouble.”
Fancy shook his head. “I’m afraid you’ve made that impossible now. I’m just glad I was able to stop you before you completely fell into her trap.”
“Hardly. I may be out of practice, but I would never lose to such churlish pedantry. I’d simply pull my royal rank on her.”
“Unfortunately, this is Canterlot, and we have laws here to protect against abuses of power, at least for those who know how to use them. I’m afraid if I hadn’t intervened, you would’ve acquiesced to giving Horst Holdings free reign over anything that could profit them.”
“Ridiculous!” Luna scoffed as she turned her nose up at the very idea. “There was not a chance of us giving into her demands without a fight.”
“Which was exactly what Upper Crust wanted you to do.”
Luna's frown deepened as her narrowing gaze demanded an explanation.
“Simply put, Upper Crust saw your patience waning and tried to get you angry.”
Luna laughed bitterly. “She succeeded, but it is unwise to anger an alicorn.”
“Perhaps, but either she walks away with nothing, or she gambles it all and sees if she can make you speak before you think. Unfortunately, it worked with your baseless accusation against her greedy intentions.”
Luna slammed her hooves on the table. “Nonsense! Ours was not a baseless claim! There would be no other reason to prolong such a simple meeting if she was not seeking personal gain!”
“Yes, but that’s what you said, not her. She argued for the work Ambassador Dovetail performed, which was a legitimate criticism used for her own purposes. She’d be within her rights to sue you for claiming she was trying to utilize any part of the committee to further ingratiate herself and her business dealings with the Crystal Empire.”
“But her selfish desires were perfectly clear! Everypony in that room knew what she was doing, and she would lose! It was the truth!”
“Everypony could intuitively know that, but again, she never specifically said that.” Fancy rolled his hoof over the point to the princess. “You, on the other hoof, did. The meeting’s minutes wouldn’t reflect that and she could still argue intent. Taken out of context, and throwing in the rumors swimming about our relationship, it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility that you were trying to show me favor.”
“B-but, tis a lie! All of it! We would never…”
Fancy’s gaze hardened. “Yes, but intent would be much harder for you to prove. She was probably gambling on us not wanting drama to be attached to the Crystal Summit. And she’d be right. I would’ve moved to settle out of court and given into her demands if it meant salvaging the Summit without issue.”
“Then we should remove her! Such an uncaring pony should not be allowed to be within the committee in the first place.”
“We can’t do that either. The only reason she could pull off what she did was because she knows we need her on the committee. Upper Crust has laid important groundwork with the crystal ponies. She knows their businesses better than they do at this point. More importantly, even if you wanted to remove her now, it wouldn’t be without personal cost. You gave her a powerful card to play with your accusation against Horst.”
“So? What would she even do then? She’d be out of this so-called game.”
“No, she’d just be one step removed. If I were to hazard a guess, she’d try to force me out of the committee.”
“What? Why?”
“With how much she was leaning upon her working relationship with Ambassador Dovetail, my first thought is she wants her to be advising you rather than me. Even if it isn’t the good ambassador’s intent, she’s been working closely with Upper Crust and her associates. Without any prompting, she’d likely favor hiring those she’s already familiar with, which I would assume just so happens to prominently feature Horst Holding clients and partners.”
Luna bit down on her lip as her eyes finished connecting the dots in her head. “And if we tried to tell Dovetail no when they were adequate choices, Upper Crust could argue that we were punishing her allies using our shortsighted outburst.”
Fancy nodded. “She’d flip the script the moment we turned down something that would profit her. Upper Crust would become the victim of a vindictive princess who wanted to favor her friends. She’d still win.”
Luna’s face fell as she looked at her hooves before sinking into them. “This is why our sister should be the one to deal with such matters of the state. Our subtly is with our actions, not our words. We have no patience for disrespect and lose our temper too quickly for those who do not speak the truth.”
“Don’t worry, Luna. Your rhetorical blade simply needs a little sharpening to meet the dirtier tactics of today.” Fancy reached a hoof over the table and rested it on her shoulder, bringing her face out of the dark.
“It is so much though,” Luna whimpered. “It is a mountain we must scale by our hooves alone.”
“Luckily, you have those who will help you climb.”
Luna nodded. “Thank you, Sir Fancy Pants.”
“Of course. As your sister said, you were meant to rule together. After getting to know you and your standards, it is good that you have returned to us. Seeing the state of the nobility, it is plain to see how your influence has been sorely missed, Your Highness. I look forward to seeing you flip every table in Canterlot.”
Luna sucked in her lips and nodded as she savored Fancy’s wisdom. Taking a calming breath, she smiled as brilliantly as the full moon. “Then we don’t have another second to waste. Forget discussing the treaty for the moment. Let’s have some fun planning my lovely niece’s welcoming party!”
Setting the hard work aside for the day had been a blessing for both Luna and Fancy. After the stress of the meeting, it felt good to simply go through what would bring a smile to Princess Cadance’s face. Seeing the lunar princess in her element, it was no surprise why she used to also bear the Element of Laughter. Outside of the business of the treaty, she only wanted her niece to know boundless joy upon her return to Equestria. Luna wanted to be something called a “funtie,” or fun aunt, she’d encountered in her linguistic trend research. Fancy Pants had never heard the word, but he wasn’t about to argue the veracity of something that made Luna happy.
They agreed to have a practical dream magic session by envisioning what such a party might look like, but he’d need some real world planning to work from. After dinner, he’d changed into a turtleneck and gone to his desk in the study to brainstorm some solutions, but he was coming up short. Flipping through his rolodex for the umpteenth, there were plenty of options to choose from, but none of the companies or ponies stuck out in his mind. Plenty of them would suffice, yet he was still letting his pettiness from the festival get in the way of his judgment.
Fancy poured a bit more Griffonstone Classic into his glass and savored its bite, hoping the liquor would dull his senses to help him make a decision. The brandy just made him more bitter towards them for rejecting DJ Pon-3. His mind wandered to his original thought of trying to determine what Princess Cadance’s tastes were.
Princess Celestia hadn't been helpful in that regard. Over the years, she’d always delegated her niece's party planning to other ponies. Even the wedding had been planned by the Element Bearers, and she could only recall the broad strokes of their approaches. If he couldn’t figure something out soon, he’d have to send a message to Lady Rarity in the morning to inquire what the young princess had enjoyed about it.
Fancy tried to recall the event outside of the invasion, but the weight of the attack sat heavily in his mind. Under terrifying memories of a blackened sky, there was birdsong accompanying the wedding march, the rainboom as the royal couple finished their vows, the homely catering provided by that rather straightforward farmer; and Princess Cadance had loved all of it. She’d even enjoyed the rather interesting dinner and reception despite its uniqueness. He hoped she preferred the elope party afterwards. Several aspects of that part of the event had been inappropriately juvenile to put it lightly.
He tried once more to see if there was a thread linking them altogether, but he was coming up with nothing. It was an unfocused, unrefined, and random assortment of talented ponies doing their best. Princess Celestia said she’d selected her student to organize it, being familiar with both sides of the royal couple, but none of it had a throughline he could easily identify. What did apple fritters, the pony pokey, and singing birds have in common? It was just a bunch of her friends doing what they did best. They probably had fun doing it, loving it even, but there was nothing connecting them.
“Wait a moment,” Fancy mumbled as he ran that last thought through his head. They were performing their talents. Doing what they loved.
“There’s absolutely nothing I’d rather be than a musician,” Vinyl said with conviction. “It’s what I am, and nopony is changing that.”
Fancy shoved his useless wheel of business cards into his desk and pulled out a fresh sheet of paper. He needed passionate ponies not only doing what they were good at, but what they loved to do. The only exemplars he wanted to invite were those who would not only want to share their talents, but would truly value friendships with the crystal ponies.
First and foremost would be food. There were plenty of tastes for the delegation to try. He knew several of the best options, but they weren’t the ones he wanted to give. Such guests were probably used to receiving 5-star meals anytime they wanted, but they might not seek out all that Equestria had at the ready.
“The Tasty Treat, Pâte de Lune, and I suppose Athena is an Equestrian now,” Fancy mumbled to himself as he added the Labyrinthiyum to his wishlist. “What is the name of that pizza place that Fleur and Vinyl always get to?” He tapped the side of his head with the end of his fountain pen, trying to jog his memory.
“Spicy Marinara’s,” Vinyl answered.
“Ah, thank you…” Fancy paused and looked over the rim of his reading glasses to see the DJ walking up to the desk. She stopped for a second as her eyes met Fancy’s. “Vinyl? What are you doing here?”
“I just got done with archiving for the night. Wanted to get out of the studio.”
“I see. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen Fluffer Duster since dinner. She might be in her room.”
Vinyl scratched the back of her head. “I was actually looking for you, Fancy.”
“Oh? What did you need me for?”
Vinyl frowned, somewhat troubled by the question. “Nothing, I guess? Sorry, I should go then, right? You’re probably busy with something.”
“Of course not,” Fancy assured as he smiled welcomingly. “That couldn’t be further from the truth. I can’t say I’ll be the most exciting company though.” He pointed a hoof towards one of the many seats available. “Please, make yourself comfortable. Perhaps you can assist me with a little party planning, being a party mare yourself.”
“I’m actually not much of one,” Vinyl said while looking between the smattering of seats available. She flashed a quick and nervous smile before taking the seat closest to him across the desk. “My music just plays well at high-energy events.”
“Really? That’s honestly quite surprising. You always seemed to have so much fun at them when you were performing your way.”
“I mean, yeah, I like DJing. But outside of the music, I don’t really like parties. Too many ponies,” she muttered as she rubbed her legs together. “I usually just stick around for the beats and a few drinks. Actually, maybe not even the drinks anymore.” She shuddered with a look of disgust.
Fancy laughed heartily. He was able to recall with unfortunate clarity exactly what she was referring to. “I can’t blame you there. That so-called curative of Luna’s leaves much to be desired in the aftermath. If not for my little brandy addiction, I might’ve dropped the stuff as well after my unfortunate run-in with it.”
Vinyl balked. “You had some before?”
“It was a rough night; one I’d rather have forgotten considering the poor company, but Dapper and the princess had other plans.”
Fancy didn’t even need to mention her name. He could see Vinyl’s face sink as the mare in question entered her mind. “Sorry.”
“Now, we don’t need any of that. However, you do look like you could use a drink yourself.” Fancy stood up from his chair and took a clear decanter from his liquor cabinet. He then reached into a chilled drawer and grabbed a couple whisky stones in his magic as he poured it into a tumbler. Seeing the DJ’s apprehension, he smiled gently. “Don’t worry. It’s just water in a flashy container.”
Vinyl took the offered glass as Fancy returned to his seat with the decanter for her to use. She took a cursory sip and smiled as well. “Thanks, Fancy Pants.”
“Think nothing of it. If you don’t mind, I could still use your younger perspective, if you don't mind. You played Princess Cadance’s elope party, right?”
“I played the after-party. I’m not sure what an elope party is.”
“Precisely that. It was the one with the organizer performing… I believe it’s called ‘carry-okay.’”
“Oh, yeah, that. It was less karaoke and more an event Cacophony termed a ‘Spontaneous Harmonic Surge.’ It’s where the emotional state of enough ponies affects the aetherial balance of the surrounding…” Vinyl trailed seeing Fancy nodding along in a complete lack of understanding. “Umm, Pinkie’s friend kind of got caught up in the moment and was hijacked by Harmony for a bit. I’m not sure if the song she sang even has lyrics.”
Fancy suppressed the mild annoyance of being caught, but appreciated the dumbing down for him. More importantly, that last name sounded vaguely familiar. “Pinkie? She wouldn’t happen to be a party planner from Ponyville, would she?”
“Yeah, Pinkie Pie’s the one that got me the wedding gig in the first place.”
“I recall Princess Cadance very much enjoying the music. Do you know what her taste in music was in particular?”
“No clue. It was a wedding, so I ended up playing a bunch of different things you usually throw out at them. I snuck in a few originals that night too just to see how ponies would react, but there was nothing I was told to focus on.” Vinyl looked between her glass and Fancy. “Did you enjoy the music?”
“I’m sure I did, but I’m afraid I’m in the same boat as you. I recall dancing to it with Lady Rarity, but I’m drawing a blank on anything specific.”
“Oh. Okay,” she said with a shrug, but the disappointed slump in her shoulders gave Fancy pause.
“I do recall everypony having a lovely time, myself included. They do say the older you get the less you enjoy music. But then again, I suppose Luna would challenge that notion. You know, even after the other, professional evenings, you were her favorite performer at the Showcases.”
“I mean, I guess that’s nice. I was just kind of…” the mare trailed as she considered her words.
“Kind of what, Vinyl?”
“Maybe you’d like my music too?”
Fancy wasn’t sure why Vinyl was hesitating or wanted his opinion of her music, but he still gave the question some thought. “While I did enjoy your performance at the Showcases as well, I must admit that I didn’t really understand the music I heard at Cantrips. Quite frankly, when I first walked in, the whole experience was a bit of sensory overload for me.”
“I get that. I have earplugs at the ready when a novice performer gets too loud for me. I don’t need tinnitus from some amateur blasting sharp sounds into my ears.”
“Not a bad idea. I should consider that in the future. Either way, you don’t need to try to impress me, Vinyl. I’m sure you’ll be perfect for a few of the less formal events we’re planning.”
Vinyl dipped her head as she rubbed the back of her neck. “N-no, that’s not why I—” She paused as she shot back up with confusion. “Wait, events? What kind of party are you planning that would even need a DJ like me there in the first place?”
“I suppose I’m getting ahead of myself. The crystal ponies will be staying here for a week. I was planning on requesting your deejaying services for any summit events that won’t require the more formal touch of an ESPA quartet.”
Vinyl blinked. “Summit? Like, a diplomatic summit? And by ‘here’ you mean in the estate?”
“Right on both accounts, my dear. And we’ll get to use the old guidance flags for ships rather than slaloms,” Fancy added with a wink at his wordplay. The DJ smirked and rolled her eyes. “Princess Cadance’s airship will be moored out back. We plan on holding events at the estate, in the castle, and perhaps elsewhere around Canterlot.”
“And you think having me perform is a good idea?” Vinyl asked with palpable disbelief.
“Without a doubt. Luna and I wish to show the crystal ponies who we are, and you’re the most popular performer on Dressage Drive. You’re the clear choice. This doesn’t call for a wedding DJ, this event calls for DJ Pon-3 and her electrifying music.”
For a moment, Vinyl’s smile widened with excitement, but it quickly fell apart. “But wait, if it’s for the Crystal Empire, then that means the nobles will be there. Upper Crust will be there! I-I don’t want to risk ruining another—”
“Stop right there, Vinyl Scratch,” Fancy commanded sternly. “That is the only invalid reason to refuse.”
Vinyl recoiled in mild shock. “W-what?”
“You may reject this because you feel uncomfortable around such ponies, you have other commitments, or that you simply don’t want to. However, I will not accept you taking any of their drivel to heart and driving yourself away.”
Vinyl shook her head. “But you don’t understand—”
Fancy held firm as he tapped his hoof on the desk. “No, I understand completely. Or perhaps it would be better said that I understand in a different way, and what I’ve heard from their circles is utter garbage.”
“But, I’ll just be making more problems for you. They hate me.”
“Then so be it! If you being there is somehow a problem, then we’ll make it their problem. If they don’t accept you, then show them their foolishness for rejecting you. If they won’t listen, it will be their loss. I refuse to let a single one of them tarnish your brilliance!”
“But you don’t even remember what my music is like.”
“Then let’s remedy that immediately,” Fancy suggested as he stood up from his desk. “You’re still set up in the studio, yes? Would you mind playing me some of your original work?”
“You want to hear my music?”
“You seem surprised. I understand if you don’t want to go back to the studio since you’ve been in there all day.”
“Nope! It’s no problem at all! I’d…” Vinyl’s voice caught as she tried to continue the sentence, but something was stopping her. She tried a few more times to begin the sentence but ultimately sighed to herself in disappointment. “Umm, yeah, let’s just go.”
“Are you sure?” Fancy leaned in to try to get a better look at Vinyl. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot unnecessarily. You can say no.”
“No! It’s not—I mean…” Vinyl knocked back her water like a shot before clearing her throat. “Don’t worry about it. I’m weird. I just hope you like it.”
“If it’s something by you, I’m sure it will be splendid. Lead the way, DJ Pon-3.”
The walk to the studio wing of the estate was a mostly quiet affair. Fancy didn’t bother striking up a conversation with Vinyl as she was locked in a silent debate that he didn’t want to interrupt. Initially, he thought the DJ might’ve been trying to determine what songs to play, but she’d seemed nervous for whatever reason. After giving it some thought, he could probably hazard a guess as to why considering their history.
He’d hoped she’d gotten over his fear of him. Their mostly normal conversation had given him hope, but it was moments like this that dragged him back down to Equestria. She’d made it clear the night of the Showcases where the line stood between them, and it was a barrier he could never hope to cross. The best he could do was give her the space she needed. He might not understand what would make a pony like her happy, but he’d do his best to weave a good fate for somepony who deserved it.
As they entered the familiar studio, Fancy admired what Vinyl had done with the place. Nothing had changed about its design or decor, but it looked like it was being used properly again. He hadn’t seen papers strewn about the desks with sheet music and notes since before his mother had passed. A box of storage crystals sat next to the record player where Vinyl did her archiving work. It wasn’t a mess, but it felt lived in. The young mare respected the history around her while making it her own. Fancy hadn’t realized just how happy it’d make him to see his mother’s favorite room being put to good use again.
As Vinyl flicked on the lights to the live room, he saw the true personal touches she’d added to the space. The older sound equipment had been carefully moved to the side in favor of her newer rig she was using for her music. It was the same black and blue sound system he’d seen at the Festival of Flakes alongside a few more keyboards and other things he didn’t know the names of. However, one giant detail had been left exposed that drew his attention.
“Why is there a hole in your turntable still?” Fancy asked, pointing to the familiar old wound from the evening.
“Don’t you remember? Upper Crust ripped out the core power sapphire,” Vinyl answered bitterly as she began readying the soundboards in the recording room.
“I recall Fleur mentioning that, but why is it still there?”
“I fixed the damage inside and reinforced the shielding around the implements. It’s fine.”
Fancy hummed to himself, unconvinced. “I guess you’d know a lot about the equipment you work with, considering your field of study.”
“Yeah. I’ve… had a lot of practice. It wasn’t the first time I’ve had to fix something like that.”
“Still, that isn’t what I asked. Isn’t it dangerous to leave all of that exposed?”
Vinyl shrugged. “It’s safe as long as the water stays on this side of the glass.”
Fancy walked inside the live room to assess the damage for himself. He hadn’t gotten a good look at it during the festival with the Screech’s aftermath pulling his attention elsewhere. Upper Crust had done a real number on it. The metal chassis was bent and twisted around the edges of the hole where she’d torn the crystal out. Looking inside, the sapphire wasn’t all that big. He’d never be able to “pull the plug” as it were with such remarkable precision.
“I wonder how much it would take to repair the damage?” he asked himself while carefully tapping part of the bent metal with his hoof.
The intercom buzzed in. “I’ve almost got enough saved up,” Vinyl answered before he could ponder it further.
Fancy turned his head towards the glass and gave Vinyl a flat look.
“But I do! When I stopped buying my own food, I started putting it towards repairing the old Starwhirler there.”
Fancy sighed as he brought a hoof to his forehead. “Vinyl?”
“I know what you’re going to say, Fancy, but that was the first thing I bought with my own money. I want to fix it myself.”
Not wanting to carry a conversation over an intercom, Fancy trotted back into the other room. “Vinyl, had you signed an actual contract before Fleur put you on that festival stage, it would’ve shown that I shoulder any damages to equipment that are incurred while on the job caused by myself or any attendees.”
Vinyl looked down and away from the pressure he was exerting. Fancy caught his temper and took a deep breath to refocus his thoughts. He was scolding a full-grown pony again. This wasn’t how he wanted to treat her. It wasn’t helping to dismiss her pride in wanting to do something by herself. After all, the notion wasn’t far from what he’d felt from time to time with his cutie mark.
“I could shout legalese at you all evening, but that wouldn’t get us anywhere. Please answer me honestly: would it matter if I said I simply wanted to pay to fix it for you?”
Vinyl raised an eyebrow, apparently not having considered he’d ask a question like that. “You want to fix it?” Vinyl shook the thought of her head and refocused. “Why do you even want to in the first place?”
“What do you mean why? It’s broken and I can afford to fix it. It looks dangerous and I want you to always be safe when performing. Throwing money around is what I’m good for, remember?”
“What?” Vinyl’s temper flared as she powered through the redness building in her face. “Don’t say it like that! You’re not just a bag of endless bits!”
And Fancy had not been expecting that counter. He cleared his throat. “I suppose I’m glad you think that, but in the same vein, you’re more than your ability to pay to work safely, Vinyl. Let me do what I can to help you do what you can. I just want you to be safe, and exposed wiring is clearly dangerous no matter how clean the environment.”
Vinyl frowned, but agreed with a nod. “Well, you’re right, I guess. I hate seeing that hole everyday anyway.”
Fancy sighed in relief. “Good. I’ll look into getting this fixed first thing in the morning.”
“Is the summit that soon?”
“No, but you shouldn’t be using something potentially dangerous. Also, in the event you do get a new gig lined up, I’d rather get this fixed as soon as possible so you’re not held back by potential equipment failure. I know I’m being pushy, but I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Vinyl’s face flushed red. “T-thanks.”
“You’re most welcome, Vinyl. And thank you for being flexible on this. I know it’s hard for you to accept a gift.”
Her fluster faded from her as she frowned. “Yeah. Sorry about that. It’s dumb of me anyway. I probably couldn’t ever pay you back even if I wanted to for everything you do for me.”
“Oh, I don’t know. Seeing you happy is far more valuable to me than whatever it takes to fix that hole here.”
“Well, I’m not happy about this,” Vinyl complained while crossing her forelegs.
“I know you aren’t.”
Vinyl growled in frustration. “No you don’t! I’m thankful that you can help me like it’s nothing, but then what am I supposed to do if I want to do something to return the favor?”
“It’s just a little money, Vinyl. I’ve inherited more of the stuff than I know what to do with. There’s no ledger I’ll be holding against you.”
“I know that, but even if you don’t feel a thing, I feel completely overwhelmed! And the fact I can’t do anything about it? It sucks, okay?” Vinyl turned away and leaned her head on her hoof. “I’ve accepted that I can’t pay you back, but why should I be the only one happy here?”
Fancy wasn’t sure he’d heard that right. “You’re happy? Here?”
“Yeah?” Vinyl tilted her head back to Fancy. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“B-but I was under the impression that you weren’t. I thought I was making you miserable.”
Vinyl nearly slipped off her hoof as she turned to face Fancy. “No! You weren’t—Well okay, you were, but that was more of a ‘me’ thing than anything. I was, and I’m sorry. You’ve helped me a lot, and I really appreciate it. There’s a bunch of things I thought I could never do, but you helped make those happen.”
“You were always capable, Vinyl. It was just the circumstances that stopped you,” Fancy countered with a quick smile before he thought back to the Showcases. “But, I’m not blind, Vinyl. All of those things you said in the library. You desire to live life on your own terms? I’m the one who defines those. I’ve trapped you here with me.”
“Trapped?” Vinyl flinched from the idea and quickly tossed it aside. “That’s stupid. Are you keeping me here against my will?”
Fancy nodded. “I might as well be. I’m not paying you with money for the archiving.”
“It’s not that simple though.”
“But it’s wrong, Vinyl. You should’ve never felt so dependent on me in the first place. We both know I practically own you.”
“I mean yeah, but you’ve given me so much more than bits. You’ve made so many things possible for me. I have a job that lets me focus on my music and research when I need to. You let me stay in a place where I’m surrounded by ponies that actually care about me. Honestly, I’ve never really had that kind of thing. I’ve always been alone, and I didn’t know how painful it was until you showed me.” Vinyl rubbed her leg and looked away. Her ear flicked as she seemed to focus on something else for a moment before looking back at Fancy Pants.
“But, really? If, umm…” Vinyl struggled with her words as she stammered trying to figure out what she wanted to say. “I guess what I mean is that if I have to get a little help from somepony else for a while, I’m really glad it’s somepony like you, Fancy Pants.”
Fancy felt his heart swell. Maybe there was still hope for their friendship after all. “Likewise, Vinyl. I’m simply glad I can put this old money to some good use. I couldn’t ask for a better…” He wanted to say something more meaningful, but he didn’t want to scare her away after making a little progress. “A better employee.”
“Right,” Vinyl muttered to herself before clearing her throat. “So, about the music?”
Ignoring the disappointment in her voice, Fancy nodded while his eyes drifted back through the window to the live room. “Do you have a recording you could play me instead? I don’t want you using your equipment until it’s fixed.”
“What? Don’t worry about it, it’s fine.”
Fancy raised his eyebrow. “Not from where I’m standing.”
“But, I want you to hear me perform live.”
“I know, but I know you’re already a brilliant performer. You don’t need to prove that to me.”
“Oh, come on! I’ve been using it like that for months now,” Vinyl complained.
“And I feel bad knowing that you’ve been risking your safety doing it.”
“Nothing’s gonna explode in there. You think I’d be dumb enough to use something that could explode in a beautiful studio like this?” Vinyl dragged her hoof across her face at Fancy’s obstinance. “Look, this is how I can help you right? You’re trying to figure out this whole thing with the princess? Well, if you’re gonna do what you can do for me, let me do what I can for you. Deal?”
“I suppose it’s only fair…”
“For the love of…” Vinyl groaned as she entered the room. “If it’s that big of a deal, I’ll throw something over it to patch the hole until somepony can fix it. Would that help?”
“If it’ll make it safer, then yes.”
It was Vinyl’s turn to regard him flatly. She rolled her eyes and looked around the room for something suitable. Spotting an old metal music stand, she quickly pulled it from the corner of the room, popped the sheet music tray off, and laid it across the front. She then motioned a half-hearted “ta-da” before seeking his approval.
“That’s not exactly what I had in mind.”
Vinyl gritted her teeth in frustration, levitated a few nearby pens, and tossed them against the makeshift patchwork with growing ire. She glared back at him, daring Fancy to say it wasn’t good enough shielding.
Fancy knew better than to tempt fate. “You’ve made your point.”
Sighing in relief, she took her place behind her equipment and started flicking several things on. “Okay, so I know you’re not sure what I’ve got, so what do you think you’d want to hear? Give me a mood, a speed, a couple instruments, something to go off of. It can be anything.”
Fancy’s thoughts immediately started to race with different settings and scenarios that Vinyl’s craft would fit into. Dances, buffets, tours; but then he realized that wasn’t the right question. They would’ve been if he’d asked it, but Vinyl was the one asking him about what he wanted. After a few moments, he pressed the intercom button and dipped his head to the old microphone with a dark grin.
“If anything is a valid answer, then perhaps you’d permit me some pettiness. Do you know anything that would get under Upper Crust’s skin?”
For a moment, Vinyl sat dumbfounded at his oddball request. A small smile crept across her face, growing wider and wider with each passing second. She winked back at Fancy Pants before slamming her trusty shades over her face. The brilliant smile warped into a sharp grin that could rival Chrysalis’ twisted glee as DJ Pon-3 burst to life.
“One self-satisfied serving of ‘Shut Up Juice in F Major’ coming right up!”