On the Isle of Man-Eating Ponies

by Destiny Chaser


Landfall

Flash squinted at the blast of sea-spray kicked up by the sharp prow of their fast boat as it knifed its way through the choppy dark waters, the looming mass of the contested island gradually becoming visible through the grey overcast of the early morning. The black hull of the sleek, arrowhead shaped craft was enchanted for minimal water-resistance, allowing the craft to practically skip along the surface of even the roughest of waters, propelled forward by an angular pair of black sails that, thanks to another spell, automatically adjusted to the air currents, allowing the vessel to be operated by a minimal crew, namely Flash's team.

The human focused through the haze, his hawk-like vision scanning the distant shore with remarkable clarity thanks to his mother's magic, but other than sweeping hills covered with thick jungle foliage and a distance cliff face on the northwest side of the island, he couldn't make out any movement or life forms.

A sudden gust of crosswind caused his heavy, black traveling cloak to whip to one side, billowing like a column of smoke caught in a breeze and exposing his dark armor. It was the same type of enchanted plate armor worn by all the Royal Guard, imbued with spells to make it lighter and more resistant to damage, be it magical or otherwise. But unlike the rest of the Day Guard with its bright golden flare, Flash had his quartermaster procure for his team armor fashioned in a dark, blackish blue similar to the kind used by the Night Guard of whom Rose Dust formerly belonged. It had led to several new nicknames being applied to his new, but highly successful unit, stemming from either admiration or envy: the night prowlers, the dark knaves, and black bandits to name a few. But there was one one name in particular that brought a smile to the human's lips, 'The Blackguard.'

Yeah, that one might do nicely, he thought to himself.

Flash stepped up towards the bow of the craft towards his latest recruit, "See anything, Sharps?" The slim unicorn with a tan coat, dusty brown mane and blue eyes slowly lowered the binoculars he held in one hoof, silently staring out into the distance for another moment before giving a slight shake of his head. The pony that was his team archer then pointed a hoof to the island, then to himself before holding it out and twisting it side to side, a suspicious look in his eye. Flash nodded in agreement,

"Yeah, you're probably right, they might already be watching us," he said. "Just keep an eye out while I check on the others." The unicorn nodded and resumed watching.

Flash still couldn't believe that nopony wanted Sharp Shot in their regiment on account of the small handicap that he couldn't, or wouldn't talk; nopony knew for sure. The private had become a bit of an outcast as a result, with some in his command even looking to drum him out of the guard. But there was something about the peculiar colt's calm and focused demeanor that immediately endeared him to the human.

That, and the pony's near otherworldly speed and accuracy with a bow made Flash decide then and there that he would take the odd unicorn over an entire brigade of archers, and immediately offered the young pony a spot on his team; he even found the Sharp's unique method of communicating through small gestures or taps of horse code quite useful at times in tactical situations.

I mean seriously, his cutie mark is a set of crosshairs for Celestia's sake, what were they thinking?! Flash thought with incredulous shake of his head.

Making his way to the stern, he found the rest of his four squad mates in various states of preparation: tightening straps on their armor, checking weapons, and doing their level best to stay focused on the task ahead like the seasoned professionals they were,

"...Keep away from me you filthy guttersnipe!"

"...But I thought you looked dreamy sir..."

"...Do you think the mares speak Ponish?"

"...Focus less on mares and more on mission comrade..."

"Slipstream, cut the chatter! Lumen, stop flirting with Rose," Flash said, ignoring his XO's resulting gibberish-laden aneurism as he stepped to the back to convene with his staff sergeant, an earth pony named Sugar Rush.

"Sugar, you got an ETA?" The hulking, mountain of a pony from Stalliongrad with enough hard muscle to make even Big Mac look like a recovering anorexic looked up from his post of manning the tiller gave him a sharp nod,

"Da Captain, we should make landfall in less than twenty minutes!" He boomed in reply with his deep voice. Flash smiled,

"Good, Slipstream, since you're so interested in checking out the locals, I want you to fly ahead and do a little recon for us." The pegasus grinned in anticipation,

"Sure thing boss!" Flash's eyes narrowed,

"High altitude recon, Slips, don't make contact with the natives, not yet. I want us all to be together for the first encounter."

"Aww, shucks, and here I was hoping to make the first impressions." Slipstream said with a pout. Flash rolled his eyes,

"There'll be plenty of time for that later Lieutenant, after we've ensured that they're not going to be picking us out of their teeth, now go! We'll meet you on the beach in 20 mikes."

Slipstream saluted with one wing before crouching and launching himself straight up in a vertical climb, accelerating so quickly that contrails formed on the tips of his wings. Flash watched him go for a moment longer until he was out of even his sharp eyesight. He stepped up alongside Lumen who appeared to have composed himself and motioned with his head; the unicorn glared slightly at him but stepped up alongside the human,

"Sir?" He all but spat.

"Just in case things go south Lumen, I want you to have a spell ready that can cover our retreat."

"Hmph, already done, sir," he said while flipping through a selection of spells he kept in the wristband around his forelimb. "A simple flash-fire spell to create a wall of flames between us and any pursuers; and if that fails, I suppose I can just teleport us all back to the boat." Flash smiled and nodded his approval,

"Good plan," Flash commended, but could sense that his antagonistic teammate still wanted to say more. "Speak your mind Lumen, you know I want you always to be frank with me." Lumen let out a disgusted sigh,

"Why are we approaching this wretched island for all to see?!" He hissed, "If I wanted to, I could get in there, interrogate one of the brutes, find out what really happened, and be gone before they even knew what was going on! This is such a waste of my talents!" Flash chuckled,

"C'mon, Lumen, you know Celestia wants us to at least to try and be diplomatic about this. This island is their home, we should at least show them a little deference."

"Fine," the unicorn huffed, "But at least let me mask our approach so that we won't be complete sitting ducks when we hit the beach." Flash paused for a moment, and nodded,

"Alright Lumen, go for it."

Without another word, Lumen's horn shone with his yellow magic, immediately conjuring a swirl of mist that congealed around the speeding water craft, refracting the light so that they vanished from sight while a secondary spell smoothed their wake and muffled their sound so that all evidence of their existence vanished like a shadow in the night.


Slipstream cut a wide arc high above the island, angling towards the tall, dark grey cliffs. He breathed deeply from the relatively cooler, high-altitude air, enjoy the liberating sensation of being airborne again and away from that small, claustrophobic boat.

The cliff that made up the northwest side of the island looked like somepony had cut a mountain perfectly in two, but only after slicing the top off. Making the looming piece of landmass appear as plateau that was left half-finished by its maker. Pulling his gaze away from it, Slipstream continued scanning the dark green jungle below, looking for any sign of movement or even signs of game trails amongst the foliage, but nothing came through.

Hmm, they're either all still asleep somewhere, or really good at hiding, he surmised.

Slowing to a hover midair, Slipstream slowly looked at the jungle far below, trying to see if there was anything he missed, when he caught a sudden glimpse of fast movement out of the corner of his eye; but it wasn't movement on the ground, it was in the sky with him.

A hissing noise cutting through the air was his only warning, his ear twitching at the subtle change in air pressure caused by a rapidly approaching object.

Slipstream threw his helmeted head forward, narrowly avoiding the snap of jaws and the sharp teeth that clacked shut in the empty space his head had occupied not a second before. He glimpsed a flash of dark blue, grayish scales as a long body roughly contacted his armor, causing him to tumble head over hooves.

Shaking his head, Slipstream quickly gathered his bearings just in time to dodge to one side, narrowly avoiding the mysterious creature that had already rounded on him. The winged, serpentine like creature whipped about, moving through the air with the fluidity of an eel through water; but this time, it paused about 20ft away from him, hovering in place, uttering a shriek of displeasure.

Now able to finally get a good look at his mysterious assailant, Slipstream gasped as he beheld the airborne predator that he had read about in books, but had never actually seen: a Couatl. The winged serpent looked to be more than six feet long, and a foot wide at its thickest. It's muscular body was covered in bluish, gray scales like chainmail armor. A white, feathery down surrounded its neck like a lion's mane, matching the color of its feathery, powerful looking wings. Its short muzzle was filled with rows of vicious, needle-like teeth, and there was a malevolent gleam in its hungry, crimson eyes.

"Well, howdy-do," Slipstream said in reply to the creature's angry snarl. "You the welcoming committee?" He heard another shriek rapidly rising from below him and caught sight of at least five more of the creatures homing in on his position. "And it seems you brought friends!" He shouted before diving off to one side to avoid them.

The serpents split up, unfurling around him like banners to hem him in and cut off his escape. One of them darted in for an an attack, but Slipstream was ready for it this time. The skilled pegasus cartwheeled through the air to one side, wing blades extending from his primaries with a snap. He lashed out as the couatl missed it's mark, it's vicious shriek turning into a wail of pain as it tumbled to the jungle far below, missing half a wing and trailing thick red blood.

The air vipers uttered a cacophony of angry shrieks and hisses, but at the same time, seemed to adopt a more cautious posture to their intended prey, wary of the little pony and its sharp blades.

"Hey guys, don't mean to be rude, but you haven't happened to know where I can find a local tribe of mares? You know, tall, beautiful, lots of sharp teeth?"

Another angry shriek rang out as Slipstream was forced to dodge another mouthful of flying fangs. "Yes! You have lovely teeth too but, uh, but I was kinda hoping for there to be a pretty mare attached to them? No offense, but you're not my type!"

The next 10 minutes turned into an aerial dance of death, with more and more of the savage creatures joining the fray from the holes in the distant cliff-face that Slipstream was able to now make out as the creatures' nesting ground. Every time he attempted to make a break for it, the couatls swarmed around him like a school of flying piranhas, cutting off his escape. He was pretty sure he was faster than them, but they were every bit as maneuverable, more so, weighed down as he was by his armor. And for every one he cut down, two more seemed to take its place. Now thoroughly drenched with sweat and the blood of the many wind serpents he had slain or wounded, Slipstream began to feel a touch of panic. He was getting exhausted, and was nowhere closer to breaking free. It was only a matter of time before one of them slipped by his defenses.

"Aw c'mon, I can't do this all DAY!" He shouted while pulling a tight loop, causing two of the charging serpents to smash face first into the other. A hard kick from iron-shod hooves broke the jaw of another coming up behind him while he brandished his blades in an arc in an attempt to clear the space around him. A sharp pain suddenly stabbed through his upper left shoulder as the sharp fangs of one of the creatures finally found their mark in the space between his armor and helmet.

Slipstream grunted as the heavy weight of the couatl bore him down through the air, it's thick, thrashing body keeping him from bringing his wing-blades to bear. Wasting no time, he extended one of his spring-loaded hoofblades from his right forelimb and gored his attacker straight through the eye. The serpent flinched violently before he managed to pry it off of his neck.

The rest of the couatls cried out in triumph as they dove after their wounded quarry. Slipstream gritted his teeth and tucked his wings in with a powerful flap, rocketing towards the ground below in a desperate attempt to reach it before he blacked out. His whole left side was already beginning to grow numb and cold from the venom he knew was now rushing through his bloodstream.

From what he had read, he knew that couatl venom was not lethal, but designed to incapacitate their prey by putting them to sleep, and quickly too. He knew that he needed to get to the ground take shelter somewhere before his new friends could get to him and chow down on his unconscious body.

Slipstream reached the tree tops and dove just below them, zigging and zagging between the branches and heavy foliage to confuse his pursuers. A low hanging branch he missed tore his helmet off as he sped by; his vision was going double. Cursing, he sliced a heavy bundle of vines as he raced by, and was rewarded with the cries of displeasure as several couatls seemed to be entangled by the collapsing branches behind him.

Speeding ahead, he paused a moment, perching on a thick tree limb like a bird, panting hard as he struggled to catch his breath. His ear flicked at the noise of several of the couatls still pressing on through the forest and making their way towards him.

"Oh come on!" Slipstream grumbled under his breath, "When they made you guys, they forgot to put in the 'quit'!"

Looking down to one of the two bandoliers crisscrossing across his breastplate, Slipstream snatched one of the small, black hoofgrenades that he had brought along with him. They were still very new to him, based on human technology that Flash had given over to the department's newly formed research division; their quartermaster had been delighted at what he had managed to create as a result, and had issued the first batch to them after testing. They were round and slightly smaller than a tennis ball, but were packed with enough raw mana to reduce a timberwolf to splinters.

Pulling the pin out with his teeth and punching the top primer with his other hoof, Slipstream turned to face his charging hunters. "Hey! Got something for you!"

He counted to three, hearing the accompanying whine as the charge in the device built up before flinging it as hard as he could right into the midst of the angry swarm of snakes. Slipstream threw himself backwards off of the branch, flipping over and speeding away right as the grenade went off with a flash of blinding light and a deafening boom. The concussion of the blast caught the pegasus from behind and sent him spinning through the air.

He bounced hard off of several tree limbs and trunks, cursing all the way down to the ground below.

"Ow!"

"GAH!"

"Sonofa-"

"D'oh!"

"OOF!"

With all the grace of a falling rock, Slipstream finally hit the ground, bouncing a few times in the dirt before finally sliding to a halt.

"Owww...." Slipstream groaned as he slowly opened his eyes. His armor had taken the brunt of the impacts, but he still wasn't sure how bad he might have been hurt due to the numbness that had consumed the majority of his body. The good news was that he heard the shrieks of the couatls fading off into the distance as the winged nightmares seemed to finally decide that he wasn't worth it.

"Yeah, you'd better run..." He mumbled into the dirt, too tired to raise his head. He just needed to rest, sweet Celestia, he just needed to rest...Then he could get up and find the others, they'd be so proud of him.

Something cold, hard, and sharp suddenly pressed against the underside of his jaw. "Mmm, c'mon ma, five more minutes..." He moaned as he slowly raised his head.

Slipstream blinked at what he saw, uncertain if what he was seeing was real or an effect of the venom. There, at the end of the hoofcrafted spear presently pressing up against his neck, was the most beautiful mare he had ever seen in his life.

Her sleek coat was like silvered steel, her flowing mane and tail the purest white, like a fresh snowfall in winter, and her cat-eyes, exactly like a thestral's, were the lightest blue, like the hue of an iceberg. What made the vision even more delightful, was that she was joined by two more equally lovely ladies who stood next to her, staring down at him with impassive expressions. One was forest green with a brown mane and yellow eyes, and the other the darkest black with a blood-red mane and orange eyes.

"Heh, wow, you're really pretty, I must be dreaming," Slipstream murmured. The silver mare's impassive stare was broken by an amused smirk as she gave him the most winning of smiles, revealing the sharpest, whitest teeth Slipstream ever did see, and make no mistake.

They had a pair of visible fangs like a thestral, except they were larger, curved slightly backwards, and appeared to be mildly serrated on the backsides, as were the rest of their pointed pearly whites. It was like the Maker decided ponies fitted with teeth which looked lethal enough to make a jaguar jealous was somehow a good idea. Strangely enough, the unique dentistry complimented the mares' exotic look, and were kind of beautiful, in a terrifying sort of way.

"Oh...One of those dreams..." He sighed as his vision began to fade, "Is it Tuesday already?"