//------------------------------// // New Dataset // Story: Reconnection // by GeekCat //------------------------------// Discord reappeared in his bedroom, the papers still crumpled in his paw. The static was buzzing loudly in his skull, telling him to stand and wait for his next order. Between it and his rage, he couldn't even imagine sitting, much less lying down. He stood in place for the rest of the night, clenching and unclenching his fists, shoulders shaking every so often in frustration. Morning came, and even as he smelled the delicious pancakes that Fluttershy was making, he refused to budge. Like clockwork, Fluttershy came upstairs to knock on his door. “Discord? Breakfast is ready,” she called. “Chocolate chip pancakes.” They sounded and smelled delicious, but…he couldn't bring himself to move. It wasn't just the spell, either. A part of him just wanted to stay in here for as long as he could. “…Discord?” Fluttershy said, tapping at his door again. “May I come in?” He gave a small grunt of confirmation, and she opened the door. Her eyes widened when she saw him standing there, then shimmered with sorrow. “Have you been waiting like that all night?” A tiny shake of his head. She approached, placed a comforting hoof on his paw…and noticed the papers. “What…?” He handed them to her, and her face slowly fell as she skimmed over the writing. “This is…Twilight's writing,” she whispered, voice hoarse. “…you remembered, didn't you?” He gave a small nod in response. “…do you want to tell me what happened?” she asked. “Between…you and Twilight last night, I mean.” “Not…yet,” he said, using a small effort to force the words out. Her face fell even more, but she pursed her lips and nodded. “Breakfast is ready whenever you want it,” she said, heading for the door with the papers tucked under her wing. “And…I'm here if you're ever ready to talk.” He couldn't even decide on a response to put enough energy into making one. She hesitated for several moments, expression growing more sorrowful by the second, until she finally pushed his door so that it was only open a crack—giving him privacy, but still a small push away from joining her. Even as he listened to her hoofsteps head downstairs, even as the image of her sad eyes made his chest tighten…he stood there, alone and unmoving. He eventually lost track of time. He realized now that must have been part of the spell, or at least a side effect…this wasn't the first time he had gotten lost in a reverie or caught in a loop for an unknown amount of time. But at some point, he realized there was a gnawing, empty feeling in his stomach. That alone wasn't quite enough to make him move, but the idea of Fluttershy worrying about his health and hunger finally made some of his muscles unlock. He carefully made his way downstairs, mechanically walking towards the kitchen. Orange light seeped in through the windows, and Fluttershy was just about to put away a large plate of peanut butter and pickle sandwiches with cheesy rice on the side—it must have been past dinnertime. He froze in the doorway, swallowed, and cleared his throat. Fluttershy jumped with a small squeak, turning to face him. “Oh, Discord,” she said, eyes lighting up as soon as they landed on him. “Are you feeling any better, then?” “…no,” he answered, making her ears droop. “But…” His gaze flicked to the plate she was about to put away. After a few moments, she caught his meaning and set it back on the table. “Feel free to help yourself,” she said. The verbal confirmation made it a little easier for him to start eating. While these were some of his favorite foods that she could make, he could barely even taste them today. He polished off about three-quarters of the plate before dropping the sandwich he had been holding. He was still hungry, but he had eaten enough to take the gnawing edge off of it…hopefully enough to keep Fluttershy from worrying too much. His appetite vanished. “Finished,” he quietly mumbled, pushing the plate away from him. Fluttershy’s brow creased at how much was still left, but she just began to carefully put it away. She turned to face him when she was done, her expression…conflicted. “Discord…do you…want to tell me what happened last night?” “No,” he answered immediately. The static hummed in the back of his mind, while his guts twisted. He was dangerous. He didn't want Fluttershy to know just how dangerous he was, but he…he didn't want to end up hurting her. She needed to know, so she could be prepared. “…but I will.” She blinked, tilting her head a little in confusion. “You're sure?” she said. “I don't want to pressure you…” “I'll talk,” he said. “…living room?” That seemed to be the place for dramatic bombshells to be dropped. And he’d feel less like he was being interrogated than at the table. “Sure,” Fluttershy said, already moving in that direction and taking her usual seat on the couch. Discord was reluctant to move for a few moments, and…he couldn't entirely blame his stillness on the spell infecting him. But he forced himself to move, dragging his feet and plopping onto the couch. Fluttershy was tracing a hoof over the patterns on one of her embroidered pillows, and they sat in silence. Eventually, though, she cleared her throat and raised her head to look him in the eyes. “You…visited Twilight, because you remembered?” “…yes,” he said slowly. He gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing. He didn't want to spill anything, not yet. Just a few more seconds where she didn't know he was a monster, that's all he needed. “…the papers?” “I put them in a folder near the door,” she said. “We'll deliver them to Starlight during your next visit with her.” Discord grimaced. “My visit with Twilight…” he started to force the words out. “It was…I couldn't…I was furious with her, Fluttershy. So furious, too furious, too furious, too–“ A gentle hoof on his arm made him snap out of the loop he was in. He couldn't bring himself to look at Fluttershy's face, even—especially knowing her expression would be caring and gentle. “…I was going to attack her,” he admitted in a shaking voice. “I wanted to frighten her, I did frighten her! But more than that, I wanted her to hurt. I wanted to strip her away, piece by piece, leave just her mind and still keep pulling—” He cut himself off. His gaze flicked down to his paw, and he closed his eyes. “The only reason I didn't is because the…static stopped me. Even then, I still wanted to fight her, and she had to order me to stop. I…I would have done awful things, terrible things, and her spell was the only thing that held me back.” “Then she just...talked to me. Told me that…” He choked out a laugh. “That I was proving her right. That as soon as I had the slightest hint of freedom, I became violent, showing I was…something that needed to be controlled.” “Controlled?” Fluttershy said, voice quivering with anger. “Like…like you're some beast on a leash? Like your feelings don't matter? That's horrible.” Discord felt a lump form in his throat and hung his head. “She's, she's…right, though. I'm still…dangerous,” he said. “If I almost did that to her, what's stopping me from doing it to, to, to…” ‘you' was stuck in his throat. He was surprised when Fluttershy leaned forward and enveloped him in a tight hug. “Oh, Discord,” she said, voice thick and heavy with sadness. “Discord, Discord…” His ears drooped. Despite the hug, he worried that she was disappointed in him, that she was really just sad because of the actions he had almost done. After a few moments, she spoke again. “I…I don't…blame you for being angry at Twilight,” she said. “You…you don't?” He looked at her in disbelief. She shook her head, still not releasing him from the hug. “I got mad at Twilight, too,” she said. “So did Princess Celestia. We might not have almost hurt her like you did…” He flinched. “But many of us felt hurt and upset. Several of us probably wanted to lash out at her…I know I did.” “Not as badly as I did,” he whispered. “And the only thing holding me back was…the spell.” He gulped. “What if what if what if…I really do hurt her when it's gone?” Or try to hurt you, a tiny part of him said, though he was too scared to say it aloud. Her grip on him tightened. “I…I trust you,” she said. “When the time comes, you'll do the right thing. I know that…it'll be hard to not take your anger out on her.” She lifted her head to look him in the eyes. “I believe you’re strong enough that in the end, nothing can fully control you. Not Twilight's spell, not even your own anger.” His heart swelled. “…more faith than what she has,” he said, a slight growl to his voice. “And you can prove her wrong. Be an amazing draconequus by your own will, if that's what you want,” she said. He forced a chuckle out of his throat. “You…you really think…?” She placed a hoof on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I know,” she answered, eyes shining with determination. “You can be brilliant, Discord. You will be brilliant, I just know it. And I'll…I'll be truly lucky to have known a creature like you.” He stared at her neutrally for a few moments, until his breathing hitched and his shoulders began to shake. He felt tears pour down his snout, watched them plop into Fluttershy's mane, and not even the static—the spell could tamp down the sheer burst of emotion he felt. “I hope you're right, Shy,” he managed to croak as she rubbed comforting circles on his back. “I really hope, hope, hope…that you're right.” He practically melted into her as she kept rubbing his back and whispering assurances into his ear. She talked about how he had grown closer to the others, how he had been doing so very well, how she knew that he could and would be wonderful. He just pressed himself as close as he could to her, hoping desperately that she was right about him. He wasn't sure how much time passed, but he soon realized that Fluttershy's assurances had become soft mumbles, and that her head was nestled into the crook of his neck. “…Shy?” he said, gently poking her side. She flinched, head snapping up. “Oh! Oh…I'm sorry, Discord. I must have been more tired than I realized.” A yawn escaped her. “I didn't mean to start falling asleep on you…” “It's fine,” he assured her. His eyes flicked over to the window, and the dark sky outside. “And it's late. Time for bed…?” “I think it is,” she said. “Did you want anything like a…a warm cup of milk, or some tea to help you sleep?” He shook his head. She took his paw and walked upstairs with him, escorting him to his bedroom before flying up and giving him a gentle kiss on his forehead. “G-Good night!” she said. “I hope that you have good dreams.” With that, she soared over to her bedroom, leaving Discord alone with his thoughts. And after the discussion and that kiss, thoughts and emotions a-plenty were swirling around in his head! Getting to his bed felt like moving through molasses, but he managed to get there and lie on top of the covers. He sighed. Telling Fluttershy the truth and hearing her assurances had made him feel much, much better, but it had also given him a new, confusing knot of emotions to tangle with. The innocent forehead kiss just added a pretty little bow on top. He stared up at the ceiling, trying to puzzle out the stew of emotions swirling in him. He was all for not making sense, but it felt like…there was something he was missing. A piece of a puzzle, a tiny connection that would tie all these feelings into one big picture. His worries…he had been worried about being dangerous, especially to Fluttershy, and concerned that Fluttershy might leave him. Fluttershy had soothed his worries and replaced them with calm. Spending time with her made him happy, and he somehow knew that he would remain happy if he spent the rest of his life with her… Oh. The revelation clicked together, and even with the swell of emotion that came with it, it didn't underwhelm him like remembering that day on the lake had. Actually, it felt pleasant to realize it. He loved Fluttershy. Seeing her happy made him happy. He wanted to spend his days with her more than any other creature. He knew that if she was in danger, he would put anything on the line to help her. And he was certain it wasn't Twilight's doing. Her spell had never cared about how he felt, only about what he did. So these feelings…they had to be real, right? They certainly felt real. But should he tell Fluttershy? A part of him very much wanted to, but another part quashed the idea. Even if he could reason out they were real, Fluttershy might not. She could believe it was all part of the spell's hold on him. The idea that she might not even believe him stung much more than a possible rejection. He sighed, rolling onto his side. He'd wait until the spell wore off a bit more before deciding what to do, then. And things were going quite well…he could wait contentedly, living peacefully with Fluttershy.