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"She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not." Those were the words Cheese Sandwich said to himself over and over again as he plucked away at a sunflower. For several days now, he had a feeling, a strange feeling that dictated he was going to be with the pony of his dreams.
"She loves…agh!" Cheese cried as he picked the petal from the sunflower. "I can't even get a prediction from a simple sunflower! What do you think, Boneless Two? Are Pinkie and I destined to be together?"
Turning to his rubber chicken sidekick, Boneless said nothing.
"I guess maybe you're right," Cheese sighed. "Maybe we aren't destined to be together unless some miracle happens. But what miracle would that be?"
Looking at his desk, Cheese saw a picture of him and Pinkie from Rainbow Dash's "birth-aversary": the celebration of Rainbow Dash's birthday and anniversary of moving to Ponyville. Seeing the picture made Cheese chuckle a little to himself. "She sure is a chip off the old me. Or maybe it's the other way around. Right, Boneless?"
Just then, Cheese reached into his desk and pulled out an engagement ring with a diamond shaped balloon on top. In his mind, he would one day get the ring on Pinkie's hoof. But he didn't know when that day would come.
"But, I guess you might have a point," Cheese unhappily remarked. "What would her family want with a loud, energetic pony like me as one of their own? They are just so…flat and unwilling to accept me. Boneless, if you were in my hooves, what would you do? How would you handle a tough crowd like that?"
Still, the rubber chicken said nothing. But Cheese seemingly believed in his mind what was being "said" by the chicken.
"You're right, I should seek out a pony who handles tough crowds all the time," Cheese said to himself. "I'll ask Sans Smirk, he'll know what to do."
Dancing his way out of his office, Cheese sought after the advice of his second-in-command. Determined to get an answer to a question that wouldn't leave him alone.
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Cheese eventually found Sans Smirk at one of the assembly lines as he oversaw the development and production of whoopie cushions. With each sound of air being blown into them, Cheese could only imagine all the air being let out as a sign that he would fail at his personal mission.
"Hey Sans, do you have a moment?" Cheese asked. "I've got something to ask you."
Taking his eyes off of a clipboard he was holding, Sans gave his boss his undivided attention. "Sir, if this is about the production line…"
"-No, no, no, it's not about the production line," Cheese interrupted and gently pulled Sans to a secluded corner of the assembly line, trying to not let the workers hear what he had to privately say.
Once they were in the clear, Cheese took a deep breath and asked Sans his question. "Listen Sans, you know that I am crazy for Pinkie Pie, right?"
"The Princess of Laughter? I'm not surprised, sir," Sans nodded. "But chances are that if you have any feelings for her, you must confess them."
"I do have feelings for her, Sans! Even Boneless Two says so!" Cheese admitted.
"You still believe that chicken can talk, don't you?" Sans dryly chuckled. "Well even he has a feeling that you are destined to be together. So what is stopping you from proposing marriage?"
Looking back around to see if he was still in the clear, Cheese took a moment and answered his right hand's question. "It's her family, Sans. You've met them, right?"
Sans could only give Cheese a blank expression. "Can't say that I have, sir. I'm pretty sure that they're just like her…"
"They aren't!" Cheese cried in a panicked voice! "They're stick in the muds who don't see anything about me that they will love if I marry her. Sans, I've got to convince them that I am the pony for Pinkie!"
Taking in what was said to him, Sans pondered the possibility. He had always been Cheese's confident, but this was something completely different. "Well, there are ways that ponies can profess their love for one another," Sans explained. "Although I may not be the right pony to talk to about this."
"How can you not be, Sans!?" Cheese asked, his eyes widening in shock. "You've always been there for me."
"And I will continue to be there for you, sir," Sans answered in a calm voice. "But my forte is running a business, particularly yours. I'm not a pony who can be qualified as a matchmaker."
Cheese could only become more and more desperate at the situation.
"But there is somepony who can help," Sans went on, much to Cheese's relief. "However, it requires a rail journey to Northern Equestria."
"Princess Cadence?" Cheese asked as he realized who Sans was talking about. "You want me to go see the Princess of Love herself?"
"Do you know of any other ponies who could be matchmakers, sir?" As Sans spoke, a whoopie cushion went off, and Cheese was left with no other alternative. He was bound for the Crystal Empire.
…
On the train to the Crystal Empire the next morning, Cheese could only wonder of the type of advice he would get from Princess Cadence. He had the engagement ring in his hooves, trying to stay positive.
"Now sir," Sans replied while nudging Cheese in the side. "Just relax. If anypony can help with your situation, it's the Princess of Love herself."
"Yeah right, and I'm the Prince of Laughter," Cheese nervously retorted. "I mean, Princess Cadence and Pinkie are close to one another from what I hear."
"Sure they are, and that should help you feel lucky, sir," Sans pointed out. "You could have a pony that doesn't even care for any romantic feelings for one another. True, Princess Cadence is ruler of the Crystal Empire, but she always has time for simple minded ponies like yourself."
At that moment, a random pony passenger passed by them, who just so happened to be a pegasus mare commonly referred to as Muffins. "I love your products!" The clumsy pony exclaimed, turning her attention to Sans and not to Cheese. "They're so much fun!"
"I am honored that you think that way," Sans replied before pointing a hoof. "However, I think you should give thanks to him, my dear. Mr. Sandwich is the one who makes the products, I merely assist him." But Muffins had already gone away and had left the two alone.
Soon afterward, the train neared the Crystal Empire's train station and came to a stop. Stepping off the train and onto the platform, Cheese followed the crowds leaving the station and sure enough, he saw an all too familiar sight.
"Oh no!" Cheese cried while pulling Sans under the platform. "It's her! It's Pinkie and her friends!" On the opposite platform, they saw Tillie pull in the royal Equestrian train into the opposite platform. "What are they doing here?!"
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Hiding under the platform, Cheese saw the six princesses of Equestria get off their train. The party pony was shocked by what he was seeing.
But Sans had a good idea of what was happening. "Maybe her highness knows of your feelings for Princess Pie, sir." Sans suggested.
"Yeah, I know, I know! She probably senses these things," Cheese sighed. "But why would Pinkie bring all of her friends here to the Crystal Empire? You don't think she beat me to it, do you?!"
Suddenly, the two ponies were approached by a gray coated earth pony wearing a dark green dress, with a slim, brown coated earth pony next to her. "Are you Cheese Sandwich?" The pony asked in a monotone voice. "Pinkie Pie has told me a lot about you."
"Um, yeah?" Cheese asked nervously.
"Technically," The male pony remarked. "Pinkie Pie can't stop talking about some pony named Cheese Sandwich. And I assume that is you."
"Boneless, just who is this pony?" Cheese asked. But once again, the rubber chicken didn't say anything.
"Name's Maud Pie." Maud Pie introduced herself.
"And technically, I am affectionately known as Mudbriar." Mudbriar added, but said nothing more.
"Oh, uh, nice to meet you," Cheese remarked in a nervous tone of voice, knowing that these ponies were probably connected to Pinkie Pie somehow. "I'm Cheese Sandwich, and this is Boneless Two, and my second in command, Sans Smirk."
But Cheese's introductions were met with a blank stare before Maud commented. "We know who you are. Come on, Pinkie Pie is excited to see you."
Reluctantly, Cheese followed the monotone speaking couple and the more he thought about it, the more nervous he began to feel.
"Come on, Cheese Sandwich," Sans Smirk remarked as they neared the Crystal Castle. "You'll feel a whole lot better after all this is done. Trust me."
At that, Cheese had a thought cross through his brain. A suspicion that Sans had known and planned for this occasion.
"Sans," Cheese questioned while quietly hiding behind one of the pillars surrounding the Crystal Heart. "I've got to ask you something. Have you been in contact with Princess Cadence herself this whole time? Did you plan this? Please, I've got to know! Boneless Two has got to know!"
"Come on, you two," Maud flatly called out. "Boulder can't handle the anticipation."
"Let's get going, sir. All will be revealed soon enough." Sans said as he pushed Cheese back behind Maud and Mudbriar.
"What a weird little pony, although, technically he is a full grown stallion," Mudbriar whispered to Maud. "Is this really the pony for Pinkie Pie? He seems so… strange."
Maud produced a small smile. "They have the same personality, I've seen it for myself. Trust me, it will all come together. It always has."
…
Stepping towards the Crystal Castle's doors, the two guards guarding the doors saw Cheese arrive and saw the troubled and nervous look on his face.
When Cheese noticed the two guards smiling back at him, he only became more unnerved. "Um, why are they smiling?" He whispered to Sans. "What is going on here? Did you plan for this too?"
"Sir, I can't answer that!" Sans answered in a hushed hiss, forcing Cheese to turn his head straight ahead. "Now come on! Their highnesses can't be kept waiting."
Cheese gulped. "That's what I'm afraid of."
Eventually, the ponies were granted access and proceeded towards the castle's throne room. Upon arrival, they found the doors were locked and had two pink and yellow balloons tied onto the handles.
All eyes turned towards Cheese, as if silently encouraging him to open the doors by himself.
"Okay," Cheese gulped anew while ensuring that his engagement ring was still in his shirt pocket. "I know you are planning this, Sans! You knew about my feelings for Pinkie, didn't you?"
But Sans said nothing.
Just then, the doors opened and there, wearing her bridesmaid dress from Cadence's wedding, was Pinkie Pie, with her friends and fellow princesses standing behind her.
All Cheese could do was gasp in surprise at what was happening!
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"Welcome Cheese Sandwich," Cadence announced as she, Shining Armor and Flurry Heart approached the party pony. "Welcome to the Crystal Empire."
Sans bowed to them and when Cheese was too frozen to bow, he had to nudge him.
"You'll have to excuse him, your highness," Sans chuckled. "He's a little nervous."
"Don't be nervous, Cheese," Pinkie said, walking up to him. "Everypony knows why we're all here, silly."
Cheese couldn't help but see how beautiful the pink pony looked to him. He had never seen her look as lovely as she did at this moment.
"Pinkie Pie!" Cheese gasped. "I…I…I'm surprised to see you here."
"Well we're not," Twilight declared while wearing her best mare dress from the wedding. "Cheese Sandwich: For a long time, you and Pinkie were meant to be together: Traveling throughout Equestria and sharing love and laughter with ponies and creatures of all sorts."
Cheese could only realize that there was no turning back. He had to go through with what was about to be done.
"Go on, Cheese! I know you can do it, sir!" Sans encouraged.
And so, taking a deep gulp, Cheese slowly walked up to the pony of his dreams. It was clear to him that all of this had been planned and there was only one way that this would be ending.
"Well, I guess I know why everypony is gathered, I suppose," Cheese chuckled nervously as he faced Pinkie Pie. "Pinkie…I…I…for the longest time, ever since I first saw you as a filly, you've been an enormous inspiration to me. You've been the one who has shared interest in what I do, and helped me find my purpose when I lost my laughter."
"Come on, come on," Spike whispered, growing excited for the moment, causing Twilight to chuckle. "Pop the Question! Pop the Question!"
Nervously, Cheese slowly pulled the engagement ring out of his pocket and tears began to form in the corners of Pinkie's eyes. "Pinkamena Diane Pie," He asked, getting down on two legs. "Will you marry me?"
"Of course, silly!" Pinkie cried as she leapt onto Cheese Sandwich and hugged him tightly as everypony around them cheered! "You don't think I was going to say no, did you?! I've been waiting for this for a long time!"
Relishing in the moment, all Sans and all the other ponies could do was watch in astonishment that the moment had come to pass: Pinkie Pie, the Princess of Laughter and Cheese Sandwich, Party Planner extraordinaire were now engaged!
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