//------------------------------//
// Chapter 6: Duel of the Minds 
// Story: Black as Sin 
// by BearstarSeraph 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 6: Duel of the Minds



 


“What type of creature would choose to bleed to death out of pride?” Celestia said, dumbstruck.

She and Luna were watching Vegeta, bandaged like a mummy, from a large window in his intensive care unit. Bulla had been allowed in the room and had cried herself to sleep next to him on the bed.

She turned to Luna, “What are they dreaming?”

“The girl is so exhausted her body cannot find the strength to dream,” Luna said. Then she turned her head away, “He is having a nightmare… Please don’t make us view those images again…”

“What did you see?”

“Death… and war… true war…” she shook her head to rid her mind of the pictures, “Oh dear sister, what world have we awoken into?”

“Don’t tell me you actually believe this nonsense?!” Celestia gasped.

Luna lay on the floor. She started to cry, “We don’t know… We don’t know anything anymore…”

“Get a hold of yourself,” Celestia said, “We can’t show weakness to the girls. They were clearly rattled long before we arrived. First and foremost, we have a being of darkness greater than King Sombra on our hands, and we are without the Elements. There must be some truth to them in their string of lies. Let us gather the girls and discover what we are up against.”


~~***~~


Everyone gathered at Golden Oak Library: the three princesses, the former Element Bearers and Discord. Spike was ordered out on “errands.”

Twilight floated a folder in front of Celestia. “I was already compiling notes when you called the meeting. This is everything we know about Bulla,” she said proudly.

Celestia took it in her golden glow and set it aside, “I will read this soon. But for now, I believe this 'Prince Vegeta' is the more serious danger of the two.” She looked back at Twilight, “What do you have on him?”

Twilight hung her head, “I hadn’t started his yet. Bulla and Vegeta were separated for the past few days and only found each other right before the bath. I was in Bulla’s encounter group.”

“So who was with Vegeta?” she asked.

“Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie,” Twilight answered.

Celestia noticed how squeamish Fluttershy became, but to her surprise Rainbow Dash did as well. Pinkie Pie was oddly silent, but she had not lost her smile.

“Rainbow Dash, why don’t you go first,” Celestia prompted.

“Well…” Rainbow Dash rubbed her right leg with her left hoof, “At first, he wasn’t much to talk. But when he started passing out, Pinkie managed to keep him talking. At first, I thought his stories were cool… but then…”

“But what?” Luna asked beating Celestia to say it.

“He started to talk about death…” she said, “When he told us about the dragonballs and how he was a Z-fighter, the warriors that guard them. I said that was like us and the Elements of Harmony. He asked what they were, and he was really surprised to hear Fluttershy and Pinkie were ‘warriors,’ as he called us.”

“You told him about the Elements?!” Celestia gasped, “Rainbow Dash how could you!”

“It… It didn’t seem like a bad idea at the time…” Rainbow Dash shivered under Celestia’s glare.

“Continue,” Luna stepped in, “What happened next?”

“Well… while I was bragging…

 “You have never taken a life, have you?”

 “What do you mean?’ Fluttershy asked.

“To kill another life form, and not plants or animals for food, but an equal race in mind and spirit. You cleansed your Princess Luna of her demons, and this Discord has been turned to stone then back again so his is not a true death.”

Fluttershy gasped, “Have you killed somepony?”

Vegeta paused. “It sounds like you have yet to face someone who is willing to take the ultimate thing that can be stolen. But I believe the real question is what your response to such a battle will be.”

Pinkie Pie’s hair deflated, “Are you saying… that someday…”

Vegeta looked visibly worried watching the color disappear from Pinkie Pie. “On Earth, peace is not a lull between wars but a time to forge alliances to prevent the next one from occurring,” he said hurriedly, “Considering the innocence of your origin, I have no doubt of your future success.”

Pinkie Pie’s hair jumped back into place, “Oh! You mean like when Fluttershy stopped Discord by becoming friends with him!” She bounced in a circle around the group, “I’m really super-duper good at making friends! This will be a piece of cake!”

He took a deep breath and sighed relieved.

Fluttershy stopped in the middle of the road. “You did not answer my question!” she said forcefully.

Everyone stopped, surprised.

“Have you killed somepony?” she repeated.

“Will my answer dictate whether or not you continue to carry me or help me find my daughter? If so, why would I answer yes when it is so disadvantageous to my current situation?”

“Eep!” Pinkie Pie covered her mouth with her hooves, “You mean lying?! Lying is a very bad thing to do.”

“No…” Fluttershy said curtly, “It will not affect my helping you.” She began to walk again.

“Then yes, I have killed people.” Vegeta answered unexpectedly.

Fluttershy stopped again.

“Ok! Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts!” Pinkie said, “Oh! I know! What’s your favorite food?”

Vegeta chuckled, “My true race is also an omnivore that leans strongly to the carnivorous side of the spectrum. I doubt that will settle emotions.”

“Ok ummm… Are there any foods you like that don't have meat in it?” Pinkie asked.

“I prefer egg rolls with a little meat mixed with the stuffing, but I won’t turn down the pure vegetable variety. That’s actually how they are traditionally made.”

Pinkie Pie jumped in the air, “What kind of bird lays eggs with vegetables inside them?! And how do you catch the eggs when they are rolling? Is there a special way or do you just run next to them and snatch them up?”

“Why are you hitting my back with your head?” Fluttershy asked. “Stop it!”

“Because I don’t have a wall to hit it on…”

“Well…” Twilight stuttered, “At least he was honest… That’s a redeeming quality…”

“Fluttershy,” Celestia turned to her, “When we came, it seemed you had great concern for him. What changed in between that conversation and our arrival?”

“Well…” she began, “I wouldn’t say care, just pity. Back at my house, he had said he had died twice and been resurrected with magic to try and calm my nerves that he was hurt. When I asked him about it…”

“The dragonballs were used to resurrect me.”

“You mean the same gems you guard?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Yes.”

“So these things can bring back anypony that has died?” Pinkie bounced.

“The dragons are not omnipotent in their powers over life and death. Resurrection was the last thing on their creator’s mind when they were made. It is an accident that it can even be done at all.

"A person can only be brought back under very strict circumstances. And just when we think we have figured it out, the failure of a friend to return humbles us.

"Both times I died, I had no expectation of returning. It was a great shock.”

“What are the circumstances?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“The overarching theme is to be killed by someone in an act of malice,” he answers, “So old age, illness, etc. are not covered. In war, most deaths are acts of malice, so the majority can be resurrected, but not all.”

“What do you mean the majority?” Rainbow Dash said shocked, “The bad guys are the ones with malice, not the good guys.”

“Ok then. Let’s use a nonlethal example…” Vegeta said, annoyed, “Say someone threw a rock at butterfly butt here…”

“It’s Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash shouted.

“Even better,” he gave a creepy smile, “What emotion are you feeling right now?”

“Anger!” Rainbow Dash shouted.

“Exactly,” Vegeta said.

Rainbow Dash took to the air and stuck her head in between Fluttershy’s wings to confront the filly on her back. “Exactly what?!”

Pinkie Pie bounced next to them. “I think he means these dragonballs consider anger to be malice no matter why the pony feels that way, right Vegeta?”

Vegeta looked at Pinkie Pie wearily. “Hmmm… You’re smarter than you look…”

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” she answered.

“So how did you die?” Fluttershy asked.

Vegeta hesitated. “I died in battle… against two very bad individuals.”

“Are you not comfortable talking about it?” Fluttershy asked.

“No!” Pinkie Pie said, “He doesn’t want to talk about it because he doesn’t know enough about us to judge what to say to get us to trust him!”

Vegeta stood, “Ok! Now you're not only smarter than you look, you’ve got a big mouth!”

“Well ‘honesty is the best policy,’ mister,” Fluttershy said, looking back and giving him “the stare.”

Vegeta lay back down. “Great galaxies, she’s as bad as Bulma…” he thought.

“Fluttershy reminds you of your wife? Wow! She must be super nice!”

“Pinkie will you stop broadcasting everything I think!” Vegeta shouted.

“Wait a moment?!” Celestia turned to Pinkie Pie, “Pinkie, do you really know what people are thinking?”

“Oh? You must teach me how to do that,” Discord said excitedly, rubbing his hands maniacally.

“Not all the time,” Pinkie smiled, “It just happens. I always thought everyone was a really good ventriloquist and I sucked!”

“How… is that even possible?” Twilight asked.

“What? You mean like how I’ve been talking with Vegeta this whole time? …Wait? No. No. No, what?”

Luna jumped to her hooves and a blinding white flash emanated from her horn.

Everyone looked around but saw no changes to the room.

“Forgive me, Princess Luna but what was that about,” Rarity asked, rubbing her eyes.

“Look!” Fluttershy shouted pointing.

What almost looked like the shadow of a minotaur without horns was standing next to Pinkie Pie. It made a beeline for the open window. The window slammed shut.

“There is nowhere to run,” Luna said walking towards it, “You’re in my wo…”

The shadow opened the window and jumped out.

Luna’s eyes widened. “Get back here!” she ordered. She ran through the library's wall.

Rainbow Dash tried to follow, only to smash her head.

Celestia stood, “We are all sharing a dream! Follow!”

Celestia led them out the door. Instead of Ponyville, they discovered a large grass plain as far as the eyes could see with a black and purple sky. Then they spotted Luna chasing the shadow. In spite of her summoning  black vines from the ground, pulling the grass backwards like a conveyor belt, and creating a powerful headwind, the biped evaded capture. Then it jumped in the air.

It did not descend.

“That’s impossible! Humans can’t fly!” Twilight shouted.

Discord started to laugh, “I’m starting to like this 'He-ewe-MANE.'”

“Humans don’t have magic either, silly,” Pinkie Pie said, “Besides, we’re dreaming. We can do whatever we want!”

“But Luna is the master of dreams,” Celestia said, “He’s not evading her. He’s overpowering her!”

Luna took to the sky.

“Sister!” Celestia screamed.

The shadow stopped mid flight. It turned around and waited for Luna.

“No!” Celestia tried to take to the sky, but the wind forced her back to her hooves.

“What is with this awful wind?!” Rarity said, “It’s destroying the curls in my mane!”

“It’s Princess Luna,” Twilight said, “Her anger is causing the storm!”

“Discord, do something!” Celestia ordered, “My magic is useless here!”

Everyone turned to Discord. He was sitting in a movie theater seat eating popcorn with a drink and wearing red and blue paper 3D glasses. “Wada wugawa?” he said, spitting some kernels from his mouth. 

The two confronted each other in the sky. Luna’s rage twisted the sky into a violent storm. Its roaring gusts and cracking thunder added a frightening concussion to her Canterlot voice. 

“Cease, Knave!” she shouted, “How dare thee show such disrespect unto us, The Princess of the Night?! The power of the moon and stars art ours to command…” Luna powered up her horn.

The shadow took a fighting stance. Its body was twisted sideways, its right arm held at eye level with its hand limp. Its left arm was across its chest with its left hand 12 inches underneath the right, palm up and fingers vertical.

“Is it going to cast a spell?!” Futtershy gasped.

“I don’t think so,” Twilight said, “That looks more like a defensive stance from a sport called ‘dodgeball.’”

“…And we art the sole sovereign ruler of dreams!” Luna finished and let loose the ball of light.

The shadow caught it with a distortion between its hands. Then it redirected it back at Luna. Light and flame enveloped her and she screamed in pain before plunging towards the ground.

“Sister!” Celesta screamed.

“Princess Luna!” screamed the others.

“Wha whow,” Discord spewed.

The shadow turned upside down, bent its legs and pushed off of some unseen wall. 

Discord vanished, then reappeared where Luna would impact, “Whi wot wer.”

A twisting film phased in and out of existence in the air between Luna and the ground, then it turned solid, blocking everyone’s view.

“Luna!” Celestia looked up as the group arrived at Discord. The film evaporated into twinkling dust. 

Luna and the shadow were gone.

“Luna!...”

“Luna!” Celestia shouted. She found herself awake with everyone else lying on the floor of the library. The others soon shook the fog from their heads.

“Luna! Luna!” she nuzzled her sister. Celestia stood when she did not awaken. She tried nuzzling her along her side where she was ticklish. Celestia turned ashen upon finding Luna’s skin swollen and tender to the touch.

“Luna!!!”


~~***~~


Luna blinked awake. 

And found herself in the softest bed with the smoothest sheets and warmest, snuggliest blanket she’s ever felt in her entire life. She stretched, then froze. She looked at her front legs, or what should be her front legs. She twitched her “extended paws” several times to see if they were actually hers.

Luna then pulled her front legs to her body and screamed. Then she looked under the blanket. Her udder was split in two and on the completely opposite side of the belly. But although extended, they were solid and not filled with milk.

“Good. It’s about time you woke up. There’s probably a sword about to chop my head off by now.”

Luna recognized the scruffy voice. She turned and saw a biped in the shape of a familiar silhouette. “You! What hath thou done to us?!”

“I saved your ass, for one,” Vegeta said, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He had chosen to present himself in civilian attire to avoid further escalation. “Pinkie Pie’s been screaming in my ear that you’re physically hurt and the last thing I need is royalty dying of stigmata, even if you tried to kill me first.”

Luna hid under the blanket, “We hath not tired to kill thee, but only to humble thy heart before us… And where art we?!”

“We’re in a bedroom at the Lookout. It’s a holy temple on Earth,” then Luna heard him talk to someone else in the room, “Go stand outside the door until I call you back in.”

“Yes, Vegeta.”

Luna peeked out from under the blanket and saw a green bipedal with insect antennas. She promptly screamed and ducked back under the covers. “What is that thing?!”

“His name is Dende. He is of the Namekian race and the best healer I know. When I realized you were suffering from stigmata, I brought you here.”

“How is he here? How can thee overpower our magic?” she demanded.

“Dende is not actually here. He’s a mental construct no more than this room is,” he tapped on the wall for emphasis, “And for what little this is, it’s called ‘lucid dreaming.’ It allows you to become conscious while dreaming and experience the dream on the inside while controlling events from without at the same time. But 90% of this is your doing.”

“What doest thou mean by that?!”

Vegeta raised his voice in frustration, “Look, I’m not the one that cast the spell that trapped us here!” He uncrossed his arms and pointed at the floor, “Everyone else has woken up a long time ago, but we are still here. As soon as you’re able, undo whatever the hell you did.”

“Our appearance is not our construct! What hath thou done to us?!”

“I don’t know a damn thing about your kind any more than you do me. I imagined you as a human so I could have Dende help you. Luckily, I guessed right that your injuries would transfer, but hopefully the healing also affected your real form.”

“This body looks nothing like thee!”

“You’re a female in case you haven’t noticed!” Vegeta recrossed his arms, “And don’t go bitching over your breast size, practicality before beauty.”

“Practicality!” Luna screamed, “What practicality is there in these monstrous udders!”

“You actually think those are large?” Vegeta said dumbstruck, “Look you, Earth women commit suicide because they are ashamed of having breasts three times that size! You’re so flat-chested, I might as well have made you male! You’re not even an ‘A’ cup.”

“We doest not believe thee! Change us back!”

“Do it yourself. You know your body better than I do.”

Luna dashed completely under the covers. After about a minute, the shape grew over five times its size. Then the blanket was tossed off as Luna spread her wings. She scooched over and stepped off the bed.

“Oh! Happy Hooves! Happy Hooves!” she said, prancing in place.

Then she heard a snicker behind her. Luna spun around, “YOU!!!”

Vegeta stood from leaning on the wall, uncrossed his arms, and shifted his feet for combat.

“Thou hath violated us!” Luna confronted him.

“Look you!” Vegeta pointed his finger under her chin, “First off, if I did that my wife would kill me! And second, neither of our species possess traits that the other find sexually attractive, unless you're some kind of freak.”

Luna blushed. “Not that kind of violation! Thou hath done much deeper!”

“Excuse me!” Vegeta got in her face, “Does my body look like this at the moment?!”

“That was not our doing!” Luna glared at him, “T’was this dragon of thine and thy failure of watching over thy daughter!”

“And what was her inspiration? YOU! You and your fucking cartoon!”

Luna took a deep breath. “Even if our origin is as thou claim,” she steadied her breathing, “We would not be having this conversation if thou had fulfilled thy duties as father.”

“OH! WILL YOU WAKE US BOTH UP ALREADY!” Vegeta shouted.

Luna turned her nose up. “Changing the subject to avoid admitting defeat is not an honorable quality for royalty,” she said.

“You’ve never had a boyfriend have you?”

Luna took a step back, “What hath that to do with anything?”

“It may be dishonorable for royalty, but it’s a normal reaction for a man. When was the last time you got mounted?”

Luna turned bright pink. Then she lowered her horn, snorted and charged.

She ran several yards before she realized she ran farther than she should have. Luna looked around and saw Vegeta had punched holes through several walls. She turned around and saw Vegeta back in the original room.

She would not admit to being impressed by his materialization ability of the size and detail of this building. Luna checked that away in storage for when she did not want to kill him.  

“Why did thou do that?” she demanded trotting back, “We need no protection.”

“I may not know a lot about My Little Pony, but I know enough of the back mythology to know the two ways to kill a unicorn is to lull it to sleep with a virgin’s song then slit its throat or provoke it to anger so it charges you and imbeds its horn in a tree to the same effect. I’m not being charged with attempted murder now that stigmata has been established.”

“Thou keep using that word. What doest it mean?” Luna asked, stopping in front of him.

“Stigmata is a physical injury caused not by physical damage but a wound to the mind. Some people on Earth can self-induce the effect in religious ritual, but outside of Earth it is a weapon. My second death was a suicide to spite the mage trying to turn me into a puppet. Whatever benevolence your creator thought of you, now that you’re real so are your powers and what they can do.”

Luna took a step back, “We doest not believe thee!”

“Then wake us up and see for yourself.”

Luna caused a flash of light from her horn.


~~***~~


Luna opened her eyes. Then she heard “Beep... Beep... Beep...” She lifted her head and saw she was in a hospital room with bandages around her midsection.

“Oh thank goodness, you’re awake. It must have worked.”

Luna looked and saw Rarity. “How long have we been out?”

“Over two hours now,” Rarity said, “Nearly two and a half!”

Luna looked around the room and saw they were the only two there. “Where art the others?”

“Princess Celestia had Pinkie and Fluttershy dragged off a long time ago, but Twilight just gagged and floated poor Bulla away. She came charging in here screaming for you to wake up and tell everyone Vegeta didn’t hurt you.”

“Hurt me?” Luna’s ears drooped remembering their conversation, “Why art we bandaged?”

“You were burned,” Rarity said, becoming emotional, “That fiend not only overpowered you but found a way to injure you in real life!” Her volume increased with the last few words.

“Where is he?” Luna asked

“Dead, if you’re awake,” Rarity said, “Princess Celestia ordered him killed to break the spell he had over you. That’s why Bulla ran in here.”

“What?!” Luna jumped up on the bed, “Vegeta had no spell over us! We were together!”

“Oh, dear…” Rarity shrunk back.

Luna jumped off the bed and put her face in Rarity’s, “Take us to his room, NOW!”


~~***~~


Vegeta opened his eyes. He could tell Rainbow Dash was above him by the blurry blue and rainbow smear, but as his vision cleared, all he saw was the sword and the face of an innocent bracing their heart for their first kill.

Vegeta flailed out of the bed, “Wai…” Before he could finish, he got a hoof in the head. Vegeta flew across the room and hit the bed causing him to pinwheel into the wall. His body dangled from his embedded horn with his tongue hanging out. Then the lath and plaster gave way and his teeth bit deeply into his tongue.

Blood poured over the floor as an orange pony stood on his wings. “Nice one Big Mac, bucked his apples into next week, I reckon.

“E-yep,” he said, turning to his sister.

“Good work Applejack, Macintosh,” Celestia said. She turned to Rainbow Dash, “Are you sure you want to be the one to do this? This is what the guards are trained for. You’re just an athlete.”

“Y…es…” she said, “I can… do this.”

Rainbow Dash shook worse than a set of maracas as she lifted the sword one last time.

A purple glow enveloped the sword and ripped it from Rainbow Dash’s grasp. “STOP!!!” came a familiar Canterlot voice.

Celestia spun around, “Sister!” She rushed to nuzzle only to get the sword stuck in her face.

“Don’t ‘Sister’ unto us Celestia! Thou conspire to kill an innocent!”

“Innocent?” Rainbow Dash collapsed onto the floor. Big Macintosh opened his mouth and dropped his chewing straw. Applejack stepped into view of the doorway and took off her hat.

Luna gasped seeing the blood on her hooves. She entered the room and quickly exited. “Surgery! Surgery!” she bellowed as she ran.


~~***~~


Celestia and Luna were arguing outside the operating room as Vegeta had his tongue put back on.

“Luna! Can’t you see this ‘stigmata’ is just a lie to bring guilt onto yourself,” Celestia screamed angrily.

“And by whose magic were we injured, Celestia?! By whose?”

“BY HIS!” Now Celestia was also screaming in the Canterlot voice, “He did something to your magic then threw it back at you!”

“Our injury was an accident! A power we did not know we had!”

“My injury, Luna!” Celestia lectured, “My and I, not we and our!”

“Then how am ‘Eyeee,’” she stressed, “well?!”

“Your anger is masking the pain! Get back into bed!” Celestia ordered.

“I think I’m going to go deaf at this rate,” Applejack said, lying down and putting her hooves in her ears.

“E-yep,” Big Mac echoed doing the same.

“Then let us prove to each other the truth of my dream!” Purple magic started to envelope her bandages. Then, so did gold.

“Celestia, release me!” Luna ordered.

“Never!”

“Ummm… Princesses?” came a nervous male voice.

“What?!” they glared at poor Dr. Stable.

“Forgive me…” he bowed trembling, “But it is actually time to check the bandages…”

Back in Luna’s room, everyone watched intently as Dr. Stable unwrapped Luna with his brown magic.

Everyone gasped.

“Great Gallops,” Dr. Stable said walking around her, “This shouldn’t be possible in just an hour. A day, at least. What magic did you use on yourself?” He touched Luna and she instantly sidestepped.

“Are you still tender, Princess Luna?” he asked.

“Please be more careful,” she chuckled, “I’m…”

CRASH!

Celestia was flat on the floor.

“Sister!”, “Celestia!”, “Princess!”

“Oh dear,” Dr. Stable ran over. “Princess?” he poked her.

Luna lowered her head and walked over with a slight glow to her horn. Then the glow vanished as she raised her head. “Oh my. She’s fainted.”


~~***~~


Two hours passed. Vegeta woke from anesthesia twenty minutes ago, and Celestia had eaten all the pastry cakes in a twenty mile radius in about half that time. 

Celestia lay on the floor of Luna’s former room now plastered with icing and crumbs. “Cake! I demand more cake!” she shouted.

“We’re hurrying Princess Celestia,” Pinkie Pie begged, “But you already ate through my emergency emergency emergency…” twenty more, “…emergency emergency,” Pinkie Pie pants a few seconds, “emergency supply of cupcakes. We need to bake more!”

“And I thought you had bad mental breakdowns,” Spike said, looking up at Twilight.

“Yeah…” she said shoving a book back in her sack, “I think I’ll hold onto Starswirl the Bearded’s thesis on ‘Night Wounds in Unicorn Foals’ a little while longer.” She looked down at Spike, “Let’s go check on the others.”

Two hallways down, Applejack, Big Mac, and Rainbow Dash were dealing with a crisis counselor. “You said you were thinking ‘I’ve done it before. I can do it again,’ to talk yourself into using the sword. Why was that? What did you do before?”

“It was after Vegeta said I was an ‘untested warrior’ because I had never faced someone ‘willing to take the ultimate thing that can be stolen’. I was going to talk about the fight in the Crystal Empire against King Sombra. Then I remembered the story on how he was stripped of his body and turned into shadow. But King Sombra’s magic was shadow, so he was the same thing as his magic. So when the crystal heart destroyed his magic… that meant…” Rainbow Dash started to cry, “I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT THAT WAY BEFORE!” Then she collapsed and weeped.

Spike started to sniffle.

“Ok. Let’s go check on Vegeta,” Twilight quickly shoved him down the hall.

They traveled to his post-op room and found Dr. Stable looking in Vegeta’s mouth with a satisfied Luna behind him. The curtains were pulled back allowing the large row of windows to fill the room with light. Vegeta was lying on his side with his back to the door covered with his blanket up to his shoulders.

“You can close your mouth now,” Dr. Stable  said as they walked into the room.

“Hello Twilight,” Luna said. Then she put her hoof to her mouth and shushed before bobbing her head to the bed.

Spike ran around the bed to see.

“Oh. Bulla’s sleeping,” he said, pointing up. Luna quickly lowered her head and shushed in his ear.  “Oh… sorry,” he said, putting his hands over his mouth.

“Since whatever accidental healing magic you’ve discovered works so spectacularly,” the doctor said, “I don’t see why you didn’t heal your full body like you did Princess Luna.”

“Because Princess Luna only had bruises and burns. I have internal injuries and considering the only thing my original body and this one have in common are my jaw and tongue, I’d much rather you fix it correctly than me live with any mistakes for however long I’m here.”

Dr. Stable nodded, “Very well. But you will be in here at least a week, but no more than two.”

Vegeta laid his head back down. He glanced down at Bulla, passed out from crying, then grabbed the blanket with his teeth and pulled it over her head. He put his head back down, “I’m sure I can live on hay-flavored jello for a week…”

“Actually, once thou are cleared to eat solid food tomorrow, I have a surprise for thee,” Luna smiles.

“If it's meat, I like it medium rare, but if Bulla’s going to be here cook it till it’s almost burnt. She’s seen enough blood for a lifetime.”

Luna twitched, “Yes… W-I will keep that in mind.”

Twilight stepped into the room, “Prince Vegeta?”

“Which one are you?” Vegeta said, lifting his head.

“I’m Twil… I mean Princess Twilight Sparkle,” she walked around the bed.

Vegeta noticed her ears were pinned back. He quickly nuzzled Bulla to make sure she was asleep, then lifted his head from under the blanket. “If you’re here to apologize, don’t. Most monarchs would have made the same choice far quicker than all of you did. Fifteen minutes at most, if not an instantaneous reaction.”

“Insta… sta.. antaneous?” Spike stuttered, “Ponies make decisions-s-s like that s-s-so quickly?”

Vegeta nodded.

“Remind me never t-t-to visit wherever you’re from, mister.”

Twilight perked up her ears. “You’ve been pretty quick to forgive,” she said hopefully.

Vegeta narrowed his eyes, “I didn’t say I’ve forgiven you, have I?”

“But…”

“Look, your purpleness. All I said was that it was a normal decision, not that I’d forgiven you for making it.”

Twilight hung her head briefly before raising it again. She took a deep breath. “Is there anything I can do to make your stay better? As the Royal Scholar of Friendship, it is my duty…”

“The Scholar of Friendship? You’re kidding me.” Vegeta said dryly.

“No, Prince Vegeta. Why would I be making a joke? Friendship is a very important responsibility…” Twilight tried to explain.

Vegeta groaned, annoyed and laid his head back on the pillow.

“Ummm… Would you prefer to talk later?” Twilight asked, confused, “You must still be tired.”

“Alone would be good,” Vegeta said. Then his ears cocked back. Luna, Twilight and Spike looked towards the door.

The crisis counselor was at the door, “May I come in?”

“Oh, of course,” Vegeta said sarcastically, “Everyone just come right on into my— PRIVATE RECOVERY ROOM!”

“Yes Dr. Shrinkie Dink,” Dr. Stable said, “You may come in.”

“Shrinkie Dink?” Vegeta said in disbelief.

“Yes, that is my name. Is there an issue?” he asked surprised.

“I’m not from this country,” Vegeta said, “You don’t want to know what the sounds in your name mean back home.” 

“Yes. I’ve heard all about you and your daughter…” he said unamusedly walking into view.

Vegeta saw a pale blue pegasus with graying brown hair and a screwdriver tattoo. Vegeta eyed him. “Hmm…” he thought, “No magic; he’s wearing a suit and not a white coat, and yet he’s a doctor. I smell a psychiatrist.”  

“…In all the debriefings I have ever done, I have never heard of anypony being convinced of such an absurdity…”

“Yep… he’s a psychiatrist…” Vegeta thought. He sighed annoyed.

“You seem frustrated,” Dr. Shrinkie Dink asked, “You wish to tell me about it?”

“Nope.”

“Well, I will be talking to you,” he said. Dr. Shrinkie Dink turned to the others, “Dr. Stable, your Highnesses, may I humbly ask you to leave?”

Twilight went to leave, but Luna put her wing on her, “Actually doctor, I believe it would be best if Princess Twilight Sparkle and myself remain. But you may leave Dr. Stable, Spike.”

“Yes, your Majesty,” Dr. Stable bowed. He walked out.

“But?” Spike protested.

“Spike, do what Princess Luna says,” Twilight scolded gently.

“Fine…” Spike followed him to the door. “I’ll be in the hallway if you need me,” he waved before disappearing behind the door frame.

“All right then Mr. Psychiatrist,” Vegeta said sarcastically, “Which part of the dark abyss will you be probing first?”

“What makes you think I’m a psychiatrist?” he asked un-amused.

“You are a doctor, and yet so far all the medical staff have been unicorns, you’re not dressed in white, and you used the word debriefing, which where I come from is a military term for interviewing soldiers after a mission. So that means you’re a talking doctor not a physical one.”

“Actually, I’m a psychologist not a psychiatrist,” Dr. Shinkie Dink says.

“Psychiatrist, psychologist, psychopath, same difference Mr. Shrinking Dick.”

Twilight Sparkle’s eyes widened and jaw dropped slightly. Luna’s eyes also widened, but she also giggled.

Dr. Shrinkie Dink remained unmoved.

“Heard that one before, huh?” Vegeta narrowed his eyes, “I’m not going to get a rise out of you, am I?”

“No, you will not,” he answered.

Vegeta laid his head back down on the pillow, “You’re no fun…”

“You find belittling ponies fun?” he asked.

“Oh not just ponies, I’m an equal opportunity belittler.”

Twilight facehooved, “It’s official. You’re definitely from Earth.”

Dr. Shrinkie Dink turned around, “You care to explain that comment?”

Twilight hesitated. She shifted her weight awkwardly. “On Earth, there are a lot of tribal tensions, like how our ancestors were before the founding of Equestria. Shopkeepers are required to be ‘equal opportunity employers’ by law, meaning they must hire ponies from any tribe. Many advertise their shops as such to pull in customers from disadvantaged tribes.”

Vegeta raised his head. “Wait, are you saying there’s racial bigotry in a show meant for kindergartners?” he says shocked.

Dr. Shrinkie Dink glanced back at Vegeta before turning back to the princesses, “I assume that comment refers to the construction that our world has been created from a children’s story within the past few days?”

“More than likely,” Luna said.

He turned back to Vegeta, “I have no idea what type of mental illness is capable of making such an explanation of the world not only plausible, but also allows cognition levels to permit rational transmission of such ideas capable of convincing others. But I intend to find out.”

Vegeta glared at him. Dr. Shinkie Dink could tell he was measuring what to say next.

“But Dr. Shrinkie Dink,” Twilight said, moving between him and Vegeta, “Earth is a real location. I went there once on an important friendship mission by…”

“Twilight, that’s enough,” Luna ordered.

Vegeta watched Twilight look almost like a scolded puppy as she shuffled back next to Luna. “She must be of lower rank even though they are both called ‘princess’,” he thought, “This society may be more difficult to negotiate than I thought.”

“Dr. Dink,” Luna said authoritatively, “I believe it would behoove you to keep to your own patients and leave Vegeta to us.”

“But Dr. Dink is the one helping Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Big Mac,” Twilight blurted out.

“Why is Rainbow Dash seeing a shrink?” Vegeta asked, surprised.

Twilight started to tremble, “They ummm… I…”

Then he remembered.

Vegeta looked at Dr. Shrinkie Dink, “If they want to see me, let them in.”

“I will not expose my patients to an unknown…”

“How many people have you killed?” Vegeta asked him.

“People?” he looked at the princesses, “What is a people?”

“‘People’ is just the word for themselves,” Twilight said, “He’s asking how many ponies you’ve killed.”

He looked back at Vegeta. “What does that have to do with anything?” he asked in a slightly higher pitched voice.

Vegeta could tell he was nervous, “My ‘tribe’ as your princess put it, is a tribe of war. I think I understand what Dash is going through since I’m the one who put it in her head. She told you that much I assume?”

“Yes. She did,” he said.

“On Earth there is a phrase ‘You break it. You bought it.’” he narrowed his eyes, “Let me talk to Dash.”

“Dr. Dink,” Luna ordered, “If Dash is ready, bring her in.”

Dr. Dink nodded and backed out the door.

“Princess Luna, can you take Bulla off the bed?” Vegeta asked, “Most girls I’ve met are huggers…” he shivered in disgust.

“You don’t like hugs?” Twilight asked, surprised.

“Only my wife's and only the horizontal kind.”

“Horizontal kind?” Luna asked, confused.

Twilight turned deep red.

Vegeta pointed at Twilight with his right hoof, “Explain it to her after you take Bulla out.”

A purple glow came from her horn and gently picked Bulla up. “Ok, let’s go,” Twilight said, galloping from the room with Bulla in front of her.

Luna did not move.

“If you’re going to eavesdrop, do it at the door!” Vegeta barked.

Luna glared at him. “Hmph,” she huffed, trotting out with her head raised.

Vegeta rolled his eyes. Then he took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He laid his head on the pillow.

The minutes ticked by. Vegeta checked the clock for the millionth time and saw it has been almost thirty minutes.

“She must be really messed up…” he thought.

He laid his head back down, then used his right hoof to move the pillow across his face and pressed it over and over again as hard as his bruises would let him.

“I hate first contacts,” he mumbled, “Hate them! Hate them! Hate them! I hate being nice!” Then he screamed into the pillow.

“Prnc…Vgta?”

Vegeta looked behind him and saw Rainbow Dash.

“And this will be worse than I thought,” he thought, seeing her.

Rainbow Dash wobbled in. She looked spent. Vegeta watched her walk around the bed and stop in front of him. She began to open her mouth.

“No being as full of pride as you should ever have to utter an apology,” he interrupted.

Rainbow Dash looked surprised.

“And don’t hang your head either,” Vegeta ordered, “It is not in our nature.”

He noticed she could not look him in the face. Vegeta nodded towards a chair. “Why don’t you push that bench over next to the bed? We can see a good distance out the windows. You tell me what we’re seeing.”

Rainbow Dash nodded and pushed the chair next to the bed. She looked out the window and took a deep breath to start talking. But she did not speak. Vegeta pretended he did not see her holding her breath.

“The words will come when they are good and ready. Do not force them before their time. Sit here as long as you like.”

Rainbow Dash let the air out of her lungs.

In the hall, Luna, Twilight, and Dr. Shinkie Dink were lying on the floor spying at the doorway.

“What is he thinking?” Dr. Dink grumbled, “It’s been twenty minutes of total silence…”

Luna put her hoof to her mouth.

Then they heard snoring.

Everyone looked to the bed. Vegeta had fallen asleep.

“Oh that’s…” Dr. Dink shifted to stand. Then a purple haze engulfed his head and he collapsed like a ragdoll.

Twilight looked at Luna and saw her horn glowing. “Why?” she mouthed.

“He’s not really asleep,” she mouthed back, nodding towards the room.

Twilight turned back to the room. “I get it,” she thought.

“I’m so sorry Vegeta…” Rainbow Dash finally spoke, “When Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy tried to stop Princess Celestia… I got scared… When you called me a… I tried to think of a way to impress you… then I realized… I had killed somepony before… and when Applejack agreed to hold you down… I tried to feel anger like you said… But all I felt was fear…”

“Didn’t I tell you not to apologize?”

Rainbow Dash almost jumped through the ceiling.

Vegeta gave his crooked grin as he lifted his head.

“You tricked me!” Rainbow Dash waved her hoof at him, “That wasn’t nice!”

“Yes, I did. I used every trick in the book to get you to talk,” Vegeta scolded. “Making the apology understood so your pride wouldn’t get in the way. Changing the subject. Making it so you didn’t need to look me in the face. The last thing to try was to make you think you were alone talking to the wind.”

Vegeta took a more parental tone, “Now do you feel better?”

Rainbow Dash hung her head, “A little bit. But it still really hurts.”

“Is it purely because of me? Or is it mixed with this other death you mentioned?” he asked even though he already knew the answer.

He waited several moments. “Come on. Get back on the bench and tell me what happened.”

To his surprise, she did not get up but began talking animatedly with her hooves. “Well, it was one of my all-time great adventures,” Rainbow Dash said with some enthusiasm in her voice. “A long time ago, the evil King Sombra conquered the Crystal Empire and brought darkness and despair to the land. Then Princess Celestia and Luna destroyed King Sombra’s body, turning him to pure shadow and tried to seal him away forever. But King Sombra cast a spell before he was sealed, taking the entire empire and its ponies with him.

Then, about a year ago, the empire mysteriously returned, meaning King Sombra had returned for revenge,” she quivered her voice at the end like she was telling a spooky ghost story and moved her hooves up and down in front of Vegeta’s face.

Vegeta chuckled and repositioned himself to be more comfortable.

“So Princess Celestia sent us and Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor to the Crystal Empire to stop King Sombra and free the empire from his dark grasp. But we couldn’t defeat him, so we had to find The Crystal Heart, the weapon the empire had used to stop him centuries ago before he stole and hid it.

"Twilight and Spike managed to find it but Twilight triggered a booby trap and got caught, so she ordered Spike to get the Heart to us, which he did and King Sombra’s magic got obliterated,” Rainbow Dash said waving her forelimbs like an umpire’s safe sign.

“Sounds like you’re proud of this deed,” Vegeta asked, “Then what’s the issue?”

“Well when I thought of that to tell you to fight back when you said I’ve never gone head to hoof with somepony willing to kill, I realized that if King Sombra was turned into shadow, and his magic was the ability to control shadow, then King Sombra WAS his magic.” She raised her hooves in the air, “I went an ENTIRE YEAR before I realized I helped kill somepony!” Then she lay on the floor, “I knew I was thick-headed… But an entire year! I’m a moron…”

Vegeta straightened up, “Dash, you are not a moron. You just have never been free to put those thoughts together before now.”

“Never been free? …” Rainbow Dash sat up, “Wait, you’re not talking about that crazy thing your daughter said about everything being a children’s story come to life?”

“I am,” he nodded, “And why does that sound crazy to you?”

“Well duh… 'Cause it is.”

“Dash, I want you to give me logical arguments against that hypothesis. I have a point to make.” 

“Well just look at everything,” she said raising her hooves, “This world is too big to be a kids’ book. There’s gazillions of everything!” Dash put her hooves down, “Ponies, animals, plants, towns, cities. Even an entire library of little foal books could never have enough stuff in it to back all this.”

“Exactly,” Vegeta nodded, “Anything else?”

“What you mean?” Dash asked.

“What about history?”

“History? Nah, I slept through that class,” Rainbow Dash waved her hoof.

“Not that type of history,” Vegeta said, “That's  the kind in the books. But there are trillions of life forms here, each with their own memories.”

“Well duh. That’s a part of being alive.”

“What about non-living history?” Vegeta asked, “Stories of ancestors not meant to be written about. All families have a story or two.”

“Yeah!” her face lit up, “I can think of some pretty crappy sports teams too.”

Out in the hallway, Twilight poked Luna.

“What is the point of this?” she mouthed.

Luna shrugged. “We don’t know,” she mouthed back.

“Dash,” Vegeta took a more serious tone, “The reason I’m pointing these things out is because they are the logic points that blind this world to the truth. If this world was created directly from a children’s story, these would be the holes in reality that would prove our recount correct. BUT, that these holes are filled does not prove us wrong. The unknown variable on your end is the power of the dragonballs. They are fully capable of all of this. You simply cannot imagine their power.”

Rainbow Dash scratched her head.

“I’m talking over your head, aren’t I?”

Dash put her hoof down, “No. No. I got it.”

“I don’t think you do,” he said, “You and Pinkie are the only ones not showing any mental duress.”

“What does a dress have to do with this?”

Vegeta rolled his eyes, “Duress. It means you’re not freaking out like everyone else.”

“I think that has more to do with Princess Luna getting hurt than anything,” she said.

“Before I took the bath!” Vegeta snapped.

“You were hurt that time,” Dash raised her voice, “And besides, we only just heard that from Twilight. You never said anything about it.”

Vegeta carefully shifted his weight forward, “Of course I never mentioned it! I’ve been dealing with fully sentient, rational beings. If Pinkie Pie hadn’t said what she said, I wouldn’t have even mentioned the shape shifting, only the teleportation.”

Rainbow Dash thought for a few moments, “True… If you had said that, I would have gotten in your face for being a Changeling.”

“I’ll just file that away for later,” he thought.

“Dash look,” Vegeta continued, “The reason people are freaking out is that if the logic holds that everything is only a few days old, then everything you know is a lie. The parents that never bore you. The siblings you never had. The friends you haven’t known since you were small. The school you never went to. In your case probably the sports teams you’ve never played for. The books you’ve never read. The…”

“The books I’ve never read?!”

Vegeta was surprised that this is what got to her.

“You mean I’ve never read Daring Do?” she gasped and hugged herself, “I’ve never MET Daring Do?!”

Vegeta could not tell whether she was about to cry, scream at him, faint, or some combination of the three.

“Before you bite my head off, I have a story I want you to chew over. It is of a real-life person you will be meeting hopefully soon. His name is Kakarot.”

Rainbow Dash glared at him skeptically.

“My people, the Saiyans, and the people of Earth, Humans, had been at war for a long time. Our very first casualty was a soldier named Kakarot. Two decades passed between wars. Then it started up again. And to everyone’s surprise we found Kakarot alive, as an opponent on the battlefield.”

“What?!” Dash said.

Luna and Twilight’s jaws dropped.

“Kakarot’s fatal blow was a headshot. But what we didn’t know was he survived. He had amnesia, and Earth’s military leaders exploited this. They gave him a fake name and lineage, Goku of the prominent Son military family, and pushed him into battle. He became a hero in several other wars Earth became entangled in over those years and became an officer because of his natural fighting ability and leadership skills, almost as if he had been a soldier his entire life.”

“But that was because he had been, right?” she asked.

Vegeta nodded, “Kakarot came face to face with everything that he thought he was, was a lie. Just like this entire planet must now face. Do you know what his decision was once he came to terms with this?”

“He turned on the people who lied to him and kicked their butts?” Dash asked, play boxing with her hooves.

“No,” Vegeta said coldly, “He decided to remain Goku Son. And all his previous exploits were only a prequel to the great heroics he achieved in the name of Earth to come.”

“What?!” Dash shouted.

In the hallway, Twilight went to shout “What?!” as well but Luna gagged her with her magic.

Rainbow Dash jumped to her hooves, “Why would he do that?! After everything! That doesn’t make sense!”

“Kakarot thinks with his heart instead of his head. Twenty years is a very long time. He had made friends that were not part of the conspiracy. He had warriors under him that relied on his leadership that were not part of it. He had a wife that was not part of it. He had a small son…” Vegeta stopped and raised his hoof to Dash.

“So he chose the honest friends he had and not the people who lied to him?”

Vegeta nodded. “And Kakarot began making many military decisions that tested the loyalty of his friends and the trust of his superiors.”

“What you mean?” Dash asked.

“Kakarot led a crushing defeat on his own kind, and I was captured. Sentenced to death.”

“But you’re still here? Is this when you were resurrected the first time?” Dash interrupted.

“No,” he said, “That’s another betrayal. Kakarot had been injured and could not act on his own. So, he asked his men to aid my escape.”

“Really?!”

“Dash… Will you let me finish already?!”

Rainbow Dash drew her hoof across her mouth like a zipper then sat down looking at Vegeta like an eager dog awaiting its treat.

Vegeta rolled his eyes. “Anyway… His men were startled by him asking this. And all Kakarot could give as justification was to ask to trust him. Which they did, and I escaped.

"A few months later came the Battle of Namek. It was a three-way battle at first over the dragonballs, Earth and her Namekian allies in defense, and myself and my enemy, Frieza and his men, trying to get our hands on them to use in our war between us. Frieza and his army were powerful, and it was a foregone conclusion we were all dead. I went to the Humans and asked for an alliance, saying it was the only way we would survive Frieza’s wrath. Again, Kakarot and his men betrayed their rulers and joined me against Frieza. Worse still, when Frieza killed me, Kakarot lied to them to get me resurrected my first time.”

Dash’s jaw dropped. Then she forced her mouth shut, clicking her teeth.

“Dash, the Z-Fighters are an interplanetary and interracial alliance whose core is the alliance between Humans, Namekians, and Saiyans that began as the temporary alliance from the Battle of Namek. It was only possible because we chose our friendships over any loyalties to our own governments, or in my case my own people. I gave up my throne for my human friends because my people refused to accept peace with them.

“You don’t have decades of new memories to justify your actions, but your emotions are as real as you are. They are what make you Rainbow Dash, not your creator and not my daughter’s wish to the dragon. Do not betray your heart.”

“So, what you’re saying is that IF what you’re saying is true and I was made from a book.. what makes me, me, is my friendships and not my memories?”

Vegeta nodded, “Exactly.”

“Well, if that’s the case… I know exactly what I’m going to do!” She stood up. “I’m going to get my Daring Do books!” Rainbow Dash rushed to the windows.

“Dash, wait!” Vegeta scolded.

“What?” she asked after opening the window.

“The point was for you to choose your own past, not for you to relive your history and make it real for the first time.”

“Oh I’m not getting my books for me to read. I’m getting them for you! If three days in here drove me crazy, what about you?” Rainbow Dash jumped out the window and hovered, “I’ll be right back!” she disappeared.

In the hallway, Twilight motioned for Luna to ungag her, which she did.

Twilight stood and walked into the room. “That was a powerful friendship lesson,” Twilight said, impressed, “I hope it will calm Princess Celestia’s nerves.”

“Princess Twilight,” Vegeta turned his neck to see, “May I ask a question?”

“You may,” Luna answered, stepping alongside Twilight.

“So far, I have only met three princesses. At what point will I be schooled in your kingdom’s ethics and presented to your king or queen?”

Luna walked around the bed to face him, “Although we are known as ‘princesses’ my sister Celestia and I rule Equestria jointly. All other prince and princesses are beneath us.”

“Sounds like a confusing system,” he said, “How do you even keep everyone straight?”

“By kind,” Luna said, “Alicorns like myself, Celestia, and Twilight here stand above all others. All other princes and princesses are raised to their title by us or descended from such.”

“I am an Alicorn as well, I assume?”

“Yes, this dragon chose your form correctly for your rank. But one thing confuses me. You said you lost your throne in a revolt; why are you still considered a prince if you have no kingdom or subjects?”

“In my world, 'prince' and 'princess' are titles of birth; it is the king and queen that hold the final reins of power. I will always be a prince as I was the son of a king and queen, but I have never been a king. You and your sister would be called queens in my world, and that difference will probably need to be continually explained to our delegates in future contacts..” he rolled his eyes at the last sentence.

“There are kings and queens in the other counties in our world, but our sister and we choose to remain princesses. Alicorns are the most powerful of the races, the physical strength of an earth pony, the ability to fly and the speed of a pegasus, and the magic of a unicorn, all magnified many times against itself. Our sister and we earned our rank above the others through wisdom and courage in war, but we do not call ourselves queens. It would be wrong to do so.”

“In order to give the appearance of humility, I take it?”

“Exactly,” Luna nodded.

“How many Alicorns are there? Is their population centered at the capital and not this rural town?”

“Including you in your current state, there are only five of us, and you are the only male.”

“What happened to your race?! Were you eradicated because of your power?”

“There is no violence against us. Our sister and we were the first Alicorns ever born in the history of the world. Then much more recently, Princess Cadence, as a pegasus, was ascended by accident from contact with a magical artifact,” Luna looks at Twilight, “and then Twilight ascended through her own magical skill within the past few months. She was born a unicorn and her incredible power as a filly bought her to the attention of our sister who apprenticed her.”

“Then Alicorns are born by accident from the unicorn race or from the others by artificial means?”

“We have no idea,” Luna looked at Twilight, “But perhaps with Twilight’s ascension, we may discover the mystery of our birth.” She turned back to Vegeta, “And do not say your dragon or the book’s author. You said so yourself, the dragon filled in every hole to turn a children’s story into reality. So even if what you say is true, then there is still a logical explanation for our lonely births within the reality of Equestria.”

Vegeta nodded. “Among my people, there are those called ‘super saiyans’. Their power is legendary, rivaling the gods themselves. But one is born only every thousand years or so. The exception is the modern age. Myself and Kakarot are super saiyans, as are our male children.”

“Then a female cannot transform?” Twilight asked, walking around the bed.

“No. There have been an equal number of male and female super saiyans, but Bulla is the only daughter among our lineages and she has shown no interest in learning to advance her powers. This may not be a correct analogy, but in spite of your innate ability in magic, if you had shown no interest in becoming a skilled practitioner you would not have transformed, correct?”

Twilight nodded, “Yes. I understand.”

Luna glanced at the clock. “Oh no! It’s 8:30! Tia and we won’t make it back in time for Sunset and Moonrise!” She ran from the room screaming “Tia! Tia!”

“I assume there is some sort of ceremony to the changing of day and night?” Vegeta asked Twilight, turning back from watching Luna gallop out.

“Yes,” Twilight stood proudly, “Princess Celestia and Luna are the Princesses of the Sun and Moon. It is their responsibility.”

“Princess Twilight, why does Luna talk about herself in the third person? Does she have a split personality or something?”

Twilight cringed. “Oh! No! She’s… just old-fashioned in using the ‘royal we’. Princess Celestia stopped using it a long time ago and has been trying to get her to stop.”

“To continue the act of humility?”

“Oh, look at the time,” Twilight gave a large smile, “I should be helping Princess Celestia and Princess Luna get ready to leave for the capital.” She backed out of the room, then tripped over something at the doorway. She quickly got up and galloped off, “Princess Luna! Don’t go yet! You forgot to take the sleeping spell off Dr. Shrinking Dick- SHINKIE DINK!”

Vegeta quickly muffled his laughter in his pillow.

“I’m back!” Rainbow Dash flew up to the window. “Hey, what’s so funny? What I miss?” 


~~***~~


Across the hospital, Bulla was awake in Discord’s lap. She opened her mouth and he fed her a spoon with cake on it with his magic while he held a row of cards in his hands. “Now you see, this was all one really bad misunderstanding caused by panic and fear.”

“Yeah, we’re all real sorry Bulla,” Applejack said. She was also holding cards.

“E-yep,” Big Mac said standing behind his sister.

“Oh Bulla,” Rarity said holding a set of cards, “I will make you and your family all the clothes you want, perfectly free of charge. I will use my finest fabrics and jewels. Anyone have any eights?”

“Go fish,” everyone said, except Celestia. She was still crying. She took one of the cards floating in her magic and passed it to Rarity. Then she took another bite from the nine-tiered cake next to her.

“If you keep taking bites out of the bottom, it is going to topple over on you,” Discord said. He turned to Bulla, “Does she look like a scary-wary pony that you’d hate forever and ever or does she look like a pony that’s sorry-worry more than anything in Equestria?”

Bulla just cuddled deeper into Discord and whimpered.

Discord disembodied the arm he’s using to hold the cards, grew a new one and used it to pet Bulla as she nuzzled into his fur.

“Awe…” Pinkie’s hair deflated, “Does that mean my “Super Duper I’m really really really really really really really really really really really really...”

While Pinkie continued to speak, Fluttershy stuck her head into Discord’s lap, “It’s alright. Take your time.”

“…really really really really,” Pinkie took a deep breath, “really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really sorry cake’ didn’t work?!” Then her hair popped back into place, “That means I can bake my ‘Super Duper Amazingly Wonderful I’m really really really really really really really really…”

“Tia! Tia!”

Celestia snapped out of her depressed sugar daze. “Una,” she said with her mouth full.

“Princess Luna! Don’t go yet! You forgot to take the sleeping spell of Dr. Shrinking Dick- SHINKIE DINK!”

Celestia's jaw hit the floor, along with the cake that used to be in her mouth.

“Did she just…” Applejack said.

“E-yep…” Big Mac answered.

“Oh ho,” Discord chuckled, “Little Twilight is growing up faster than I thought.”

“Oh dear. Oh dear,” Fluttershy glanced at Bulla.

“Tia!” Luna charged into the room, “It’s 8:30! We’re… Oh Falling Stars! Tia! You can’t present yourself to the nobles covered in cake!” Luna began to clean her sister off with her magic.

“Princess Luna!” Twilight ran up behind her, “Your sleeping spell!”

Luna facehooved. She turned around.

“Wait right there, Luna!” Celestia barked.

The two looked at her surprised as the once listless Diarch came to her hooves and stood straight.

“What depravity have you been teaching my student, Luna?”

“What are you…?”

“You heard that?!” Twilight gripped her neck.

“We all did, sugar cube,” Applejack said.

“E-yep,” Big Mac said.

Everyone else silently nodded.

Twilight screamed. Then she fell limp on the floor and covered her eyes with her hooves, “I’m never going to be able to live in Ponyville again…”

Celestia got into Luna’s face, “Luna! What do you have to say for yourself?”

Luna looked between the two of them, “What’s happened?”

“When I was chasing after you about Dr. Dink…” Twilight cries, “I called him…”

Luna smiled and started to giggle. She raises her voice in disbelief, “You called Dr. Shinkie Dink…”

She saw Fluttershy pointing frantically at Discord. She glanced at him.

He was holding an Acme-style, neon blinking sign saying “Child!!!” and an arrow pointing at Bulla in his lap.

“Ooooooh” she said sheepishly.  

“Luna!” Celestia scolded.

Luna started to giggle again. “I didn’t say that,” she struggled to say, “Prince Vegeta called Dr. Dink that…”

Steam came from Celestia’s nostrils as her mane turned to flame.

“Tia! The Sprink… sprinklers…” Luna finished as the water rained down and the alarms started.


~~***~~


Out in the street, Celestia had to sheepishly explain to the fire department and the hospital staff why the sprinklers went off.

The melted mush of the cake was wheeled out next, with Pinkie Pie wailing “Why?!” as she is dragged along holding onto the dolly.

Celestia sighed, “I will pay for all the water damages…”

Then Vegeta was wheeled out. “Well, that was my second bath of the day…”

“I saved the book though,” Rainbow Dash said, flapping next to him.

“You!” Celestia snorted as she erupted in flames. Her mane climbed high into the sky and her tail looked like a flame thrower. She began to walk over with her head lowered.

“Ummm… See ya!” Rainbow Dash took for the clouds.

Vegeta watched everyone cower and back away.

“Hmm… She almost looks like a Super Saiyan,” he thought.

“How dare you!” Celestia growled, arriving in front of him, “How dare you use such language in front of my student!”

“What are you talking about, crazy lady?!” Vegeta barked from his wheelchair.

“YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!” she switched to her Canterlot voice, “DO NOT MAKE ME REPEAT THE FOUL WORDS YOU CALLED THE GOOD DOCTOR!”

Vegeta snickered, “Is that why you’re all fired up?”

Celesta could hear several giggles, at least until flames came from her eyeballs, then all but Luna stopped laughing.

“ARE YOU MOCKING ME?”

Vegeta turned his head, “Kinda hard to mock you when you need…” Suddenly he felt a tingle in his horn. Human-sized sunglasses mysteriously appear on his face. “Huh…” he said, looking cross-eyed at his nose.

Suddenly the glasses melted.

“Hey!” Vegeta shouted, “You better hope I made a copy and not accidentally teleported Roshi’s actual sunglasses!”

Celestia snorted.

Vegeta returned the glare. “If I could only transform…” he thought, “Wait, bad thoughts, she can still order my death again and I’m in no condition to defend myself. Save the pissing match for later. Calm down.”

Suddenly, he snickered.

“WHAT’S SO FUNNY?”

“He’s thinking about what would happen if you farted right now!” Pinkie shouted from somewhere in the crowd.

Vegeta did what he always did when faced with a homicidal female: he turned into a statue and prepared to die with honor.


~~***~~


An hour later, Vegeta found himself lying on some poor but otherwise soft blankets on the floor in a prison cell down in the castle dungeon. He was unrestrained minus a cone locked on his horn.

“Well, this day ended how I originally imagined it after all…” he thought, laying his head to look towards the stack of Daring Do novels, “Although the books are a surprise.”  Vegeta sighed. “Note to self: punch that anger management counselor when I get home. Imagine something funny my ass…”

He thought out loud, “Ok Vegeta… You’re on an alien planet, totally helpless, and with a monarch who has shown willingness to kill you… so far nothing new…” he took a deep breath, “But what is new is that your daughter is here, you can do nothing to protect her, and you’re on a pristine planet screaming ‘Please conquer me’ with no idea of your location or motives of your neighbors.” He moaned, frustrated. “I can’t believe I’m actually thinking 'Kakarot to the rescue'…” he thought. Vegeta looked at the books.

“…But even without their powers… these warriors have shown courage. To kill a creature with even the slightest emotional attachment is no easy feat…” 

Vegeta pawed at the padlock on the horn cone. Then he twitched his tail, now just normal hair. “This thing is supposed to stop magic, so my waving hair was the result of the magic this form has. Twilight has normal hair though. Her power must not have developed fully yet…” he reasoned.

Vegeta carefully shifted his weight to center himself. He hunched his shoulders forward as much as he could comfortably and stretched his neck towards the stack of books.

“… Luna said this body type is the three races magnified… and Pinkie has more than demonstrated energy-based abilities…”

He slowed his breathing and closed his eyes. He tilted his ears forward.

Vegeta was motionless for… even he did not know how long.

Flap… Flap. Flap… …Flap…

Vegeta slowly opened his eyes.

The cover of the top book and the first few pages rose then dropped. Flap… Flap. Flap.

Vegeta gave his crooked smile.