Chapter 12: Magic
Discord, Lyra and Robert spent the next hours discussing their plan. Before that, Discord told Lyra the same he had told Robert about his past, which was taken by the ex-unicorn with a pinch of salt. When they were ready Discord teleported them.
Robert had only seen Canterlot briefly while he was being moved to the castle, so he didn’t recognize the crowded marketplace in which they appeared. Before the ponies could react to the sudden appearance, Discord used the Royal Canterlot Voice
“CITIZENS OF CANTERLOT! I AM DISCORD AND THESE ARE ROBERT AND LYRA. WE SURRENDER TO YOU!” He waved a white flag with his lion paw at the same time.
Most of the ponies, who were about to run away or throw themselves to the ground, stared at them quizzically. The closest guards flew to the clearing between the confused ponies and the trio.
“You surrender?” the leader asked with caution.
“Yes, I’m tired of being zapped by alicorns and elements of Harmony. What do we do know?” asked Discord.
“Uh...” the guard thought for a moment, “you three stay here until somepony authorized to deal with you comes.” He flew to the castle while the other three guards watched the trio.
“He’s just wasting energy,” commented Discord, “The princesses must have already sensed me and they will appear just about now.”
As soon as he finished the sentence Princess Luna appeared in front of him.
“THOU DARE TO RETURN TO THIS OUR BELOVED CITY AND.... Surrender?” She added when she saw the draconequus waving the white flag.
“Hi Lulu! Long time no see!” Discord happily exclaimed, “I guess presentations are in order. You already know Robert, and this is Lyra. Lyra, this is Princess Luna.”
“Robert? Pony? Another human?” the pieces of the puzzle fell together in her mind, “WHAT HAVE THOU-” Discord waved the white flag in front of her a little more.
“Volume, please. For your information, I have just saved humankind while escaping that boring stone prison.”
“What are you up to, Discord? It’s not like you to do this at all.”
“Oh, but Lulu-
“Princess Luna for you.”
“-that’s the nature of chaos. I would be a terrible spirit of chaos if I became predictable,” Luna rolled her eyes, “Now, where is dear old Celly.”
“Celestia will arrive soon. Come with me to the palace and don’t try anything funny.”
“No.”
“What?! You said you surrendered!”
“Yeah, but I never said it was an unconditional surrender. Our first condition is that we don’t leave the market for our safety. I wouldn’t like you to dispose of us as soon as these ponies can’t see us,” Luna frowned, but she nodded.
“I will allow that, for now.”
“Oh, I almost forgot, does the Moon have a breathable atmosphere?”
“Yes, why?”
“I would have been a total jerk if I had sent your murderous guards to their death.”
It was then, as the ponies began murmuring, that Luna realized why Discord had chosen such a public place to appear.
“You won’t get away with this, fiend,” she muttered.
“You are so cute when you are angry...” Discord jokingly said.
“Robert, I can’t believe you sided with him,” Luna said, ignoring Discord.
“Well, I’m inclined to side with those who want to avoid the extinction of humans. He also saved our lives from YOUR lunar guards.”
Luna’s right ear twitched.
“You lie! We would never order our stallions to kill anypony!”
“Oh oh, I think Celly has been playing with your toys while you weren’t looking,” Discord said with a singsong voice.
“Thou dare imply our sister would partake in such heinous activities!”
“Yes, I dar-” Discord was interrupted by a flash of light which preceded Celestia’s appearance.
“Discord!” she shouted, her body emanating radiant light and power, “this will be the last time you escape!”
“Waitwaitwaitwait, I surrender, I surrender!” said Discord, waving the white flag while he covered his eyes from the light.
Celestia ignored his words and charged him.
“Hey, she can’t do that!” shouted Lyra, “that’s what the bad guys do!”
“Tia, wait!” yelled Luna while she flew towards them.
Discord’s chaotic magic clashed against Celestia’s in a fight over the skies of Canterlot. They moved from one place to the other while Luna and the guards tried to chase them. Robert looked down and found that Celestia had not appeared alone, she had brought the six ponies he knew too well.
“Twilight Sparkle!” he shouted.
“Huh? Another human? And who are you?” the unicorn asked.
“It doesn’t matter, they are sided with Discord so they are evil!” said Rainbow Dash as she charged them.
“Oh no, not this shit again!” said Robert as he dodged the pegasus, “make her stop, we surrender!”
“Rainbow Dash!” shouted Twilight as she stopped her with her magic.
“Hey, let go!”
“Twilight, it’s us, Robert and Lyra! We came with Discord to surrender but Celestia has gone crazy and is attacking him!”
Those two phrases were enough to block Twilight’s brain for a few seconds. Meanwhile, the white alicorn kept on firing solar beams to Discord, who created blue portals which caused the attacks that entered them to exit orange portals, which pointed back at Celestia.
“Stop it, Tyrantlestia!” he shouted, “I’m not here to fight you!”
Twilight’s brain started working again, “okay, I will think about how weird all of this is later! First, why are you surrendering?”
“The lunar guards tried to kill Lyra and me and Discord saved us, so we decided to surrender before the princesses came to kill us in person.”
“How can Discord be free?”
“He gave me an amulet that allowed Lyra and I to swap species, but it also fed him with enough chaos to break free.”
“Why? Why would you want to do that?”
“To save humanity”, said Lyra, “that’s why Celestia wants us dead, to destroy humanity forever.”
All the ponies shouted various exclamations of reject.
“It doesn’t matter now!” said Robert, “those two are fighting up there and we have to stop them before they kill somepony!” ‘Did I just say somepony instead of someone?’
Rainbow Dash flew towards them, ignoring the warnings of her friends. Her superior speed and recklessness allowed her to overtake Luna and the guards. She flew past Celestia’s golden beams and Discord’s bizarre spells until she got in the way of them both.
“Stop you two!” she shouted.
Celestia tried to stop her attack, but it was already leaving her horn and headed to the cyan mare. Her eyes grew to comic proportions when Discord protected the pegasus with his lion paw, which was severely damaged by the attack. That action was enough to stop her.
“Did Ah just see Discord hurting himself to protect our Dash?” asked Applejack.
“Yipee! He’s a good guy now!” said Pinkie.
‘Robert, Lyra’ Discord said with telepathy, ‘change of plans, I have realized something.’
‘We won’t follow our original plan of buying time until you recover your powers by dealing with Equestria’s excruciatingly slow justice?’
‘Nah, I have a better plan which won’t lead to a confrontation against the princesses. Those solar beams hurt like hell. By the way, both of you asked the same question, lol.’
“Robert, what does lol mean?” asked Lyra.
“It means you find something funny.”
Celestia and Discord talked for a few seconds, too far away for Robert to hear them, and then they flew towards the marketplace.
“My little ponies,” Celestia proclaimed, “due to his heroic action, I have decided to accept Discord’s plea of surrender.”
Luna arrived a few seconds later with the guards panting behind her.
“What now?” she asked.
“Well, now that everypony knows we are here you two will have a hard time earning their trust back if you decide to take drastic measures against us,” Discord explained, “so I guess we can go to a more private place to discuss the terms of our surrender.”
Luna and Celestia exchanged glances, but they decided to led them to the castle. While they crossed the city, Luna noticed Robert cutie mark.
“I don’t believe it,” she stated while she rubbed the mark with her hoof.
“Ignore it.”
Luna hummed Action Man’s series song until they reached the room where Celestia held court everyday.
“Discord,” the Sun Princess began, “you were sentenced by the Elements of Harmony twice, and yet here you are again. You will be judged by the Elements again and they will decide if you must be petrified again.”
“After discovering the elements and dethroning Discord, the princesses created a series of laws to deal with supernatural beings which can’t be punished by normal means,” Twilight quietly explained to her friends, “in these cases the princesses use the elements to decide their fate. As the embodiment of Harmony, they will always choose the fairest punishment. That law became obsolete with Nightmare Moon’s banishment, as the elements became useless.”
“Celestia, I willingly submit myself to the judgement of the elements. And so do my allies Robert and Lyra.”
The mentioned pair frowned, but decided to remain silent.
“They are accused of freeing you from your prison,” said Celestia, “so they will be judged separately by a normal tribunal.”
“No, they must be judged by the elements, for you see...” continued Discord.
The Princess of the Sun and the Spirit of Disharmony and Chaos argued for long minutes that became an hour about obscure laws and legal loopholes. It was then that Luna intervened.
“I have decided that they will be judged by the Elements of Harmony.”
“What?” said Celestia, confused.
“Sister, for all we know Discord is trying to make you lose months arguing about our ridiculously overcomplicated legal system until the bearers of the elements die of old age. Just let it go so we can finish this business already.”
The two sister had a mental conversation. Not one based in magic and telepathy, which Discord could have heard, but a real mental conversation based on mutual knowledge, gestures and instinct.
‘You ordered my soldiers to kill these two without my knowledge. Your paranoiac fear of humans is clouding your judgement.’
‘I only try to do what’s best for Equestria. You know how dangerous humans are.’
‘The Elements have never done wrong to Equestria, we must trust them.’
‘You know that’s not always true. They banished you for a thousand years.’
‘We have been over that, it was the less bad decision and you know it.’
‘Argh, fine. But if this backfires you will have to fix everything.’
“Alright, the three of you will be judged by the Elements of Harmony. I will bring them now.”
Celestia left with her characteristic flash of light.
“Discord, are you sure about this?” asked Robert.
“Yeah, what if they turn you to stone again?” said Lyra.
“I think I will be fine. The elements will surely see that I am no longer a threat to them and they won’t hurt me.”
The six ponies who were about to unleash the power of their elements discussed between them. Robert could not hear them, but it was obvious what they were talking about. Rainbow Dash separated herself from her friends and approached Discord.
“Hey, just in case you get stoned again,” Discord had to suppress a chuckle, “I want to thank you for protecting me back there.”
“Well I-”
“But I still think you are a cheater and that you are planning something evil, so don’t get too full of yourself!” She flew back to her friends, who looked at her with a wide range of expressions.
“I’m never lucky with the ladies,” Discord stated as he created a cloud of cotton candy to drink some chocolate milk, “whatever, it’s not like I would ever fuck a pony.”
Celestia arrived with the six pieces of jewelry, “alright, let’s put an end to this,” she said as she levitated each one to its user.
“Could you three stay close?” asked Twilight, “using these is extenuating and I would rather do it only once.”
Lyra, Robert and Discord stood together while the six ponies assumed the firing stance.
“We are ready to taste the rainbow,” said Discord, as he created three white and red targets.
The six ponies began levitating as the magical power of the Elements of Harmony gathered around them. Their eyes shone with pure white light and a rainbow of energy shot towards their target. A magical mist enveloped the area after the rainbow hit them. The six ponies noticed three silhouettes, which became two humans and a draconequus when the mist vanished.
“Yeah, I’m human again!” said Robert.
“Yeah, I’m still human!” said Lyra.
“YEEEHAW!” exclaimed Discord, “I knew it would work! No more stoning for Dis-,” he stopped mid-word when he felt a tingling sensation in his fingertips. Then he noticed that they were slowly turning into sand, “Oh crap.”
“Discord!” said Luna, “what’s happening to you?”
“The damned elements must have decided that I am no longer needed now that humans won’t become extinct,” he stated with a neutral tone, “so they are getting rid of me.”
All of them surrounded the vanishing spirit, concerned.
“I guess this is goodbye, then,” said Celestia, her face betraying a hint of sadness.
“Heh, now I regret that things never worked out between us. I would blame my obligation of spreading chaos, but the truth is I loved ruling the world and doing everything I wanted,” his tail and muzzle began dissolving as well, and his body was shrinking.
“We will make sure these last good actions you have done will be remembered by Equestria,” said Luna, “and I want you to know that... I think you are not dying?” she added while pointing at his right arm.
Discord looked in that direction and found that a human arm was surfacing as his lion paw disappeared.
“Well, this is awkward,” he said.
Luna filled her lungs with air and blowed hard, raising a sandcloud. They found a bald, old and naked human where once stood the strongest creature in Equestria.
“You are... Old!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash.
“Oh no!” yelled Pinkie, “now there won’t be more cotton candy clouds that rain chocolate milk!”
“Mirror.”
Celestia created a magic mirror so Discord could see himself.
“I AM old!” he exclaimed, “what happened to my hair and my good looks? I wanted to rule the humans forever with my powers, now I am mortal,” he snapped his fingers, to no effect, “and powerless!”
“...What do we do now?” asked Twilight.
“The Elements have decided to let them free,” answered Celestia, “going against their designs is a dangerous and pernicious affair.”
“So, that’s it? We go back home and forget everything?” Twilight said, incredulous.
Celestia sighed, “yes, that’s it. I don’t like it, but the Elements are always right, so I must admit it was me who was wrong about all of this.”
Lyra looked pensive for a second. “I don’t know about you,” she said, “but I had some savings in Ponyville to start living on my own, so that’s what I’m going to do.”
“I’m coming with you,” said Robert, “I will make money somehow so you don’t have to work while being pregnant.”
“Pregnant?!” exclaimed the six mortal ponies.
“Wait, wait,” said Pinkie, “if you are a human and he was a pony a few minutes ago... You’re having a centaur?”
“Wait, there are centaurs in Equestria?” asked Robert.
“No there aren’t,” said Celestia, staring at the pink mare with a small frown.
“Well,” said Discord, “if I remember right the Tartarus has-”
He was interrupted by Luna, “please, only one issue at a time,” she said with annoyance.
“Alright,” said Discord with a frown, “by the way, I’m staying here, I hate Ponyville.”
Celestia rubbed her temples with both hooves.
“This is going to be so hard to explain to our little ponies,” she muttered.
“We’ll come up with something,” assured Luna, “let’s just hope we have a few years of peace before the next crysis.”
A month later, the Royal Wedding happened. At least they had been warned by the night guards that Luna recovered from the Moon and by the humans of the changeling’s presence. After being defeated the changelings reached a consensus: if Shining Armor hadn’t learned the anti-changelings barrier spell, the power of Cadance’s love would have just made the invading force more powerful. The changelings who tried to attack Ponyville when Chrysalis gave the order also discovered that the border of the Everfree and the desert wasn’t the only place where one could find mysterious bipedal creatures armed with sticks that spit fire and steel.