December 6, 2020
Canterlot Sculpture Garden
Canterlot had only partially been rebuilt from the battle a month prior. The scars from the fighting still remained throughout the city in the form of scorch marks on the city’s stone walls, the castle’s missing south tower, and the almost leveled slums.
One part of Canterlot that had remained untouched was the sculpture garden. A vast hedge maze filled with masterfully sculpted statues and fountains, this was where Cheerilee had opted to begin her field trip.
“I want to start our field trip here, in the world-famous Canterlot sculpture garden,” Cheerilee said as she led her class through the hedges. “That one over there represents friendship,” she explained nodding at a marble sculpture of three fillies playing.
Apple Bloom stopped abruptly to take a look and Jack, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle slammed into her. The four shot each other dirty looks. The four of them had lost a bet to Diamond Tiara earlier that day thanks to Scootaloo's stubbornness and had been fighting since.
“Alright, my little ponies,” Cheerilee called, nodding toward one of an upright mare holding a flag. “This one represents victory.”
“How cool would it be to have that for a cutie mark?” Scootaloo asked excitedly.
“Cool, if you were actually victoryful at somethin',” Apple Bloom chided.
“That's not a word!” Sweetie Belle shouted.
“What are you, a dictionary?” Scootaloo asked.
“The word is victorious,” Jack sighed.
“Foals!” Cheerilee scolded. “Now this is a really interesting statue,” she said pointing to a sculpture of a strange Frankenstein esq amalgamation of body parts. “What do you notice about it?”
“It's got an eagle claw!” exclaimed Apple Bloom.
“And a lion paw!” Scootaloo added.
“And a snake tail!” Sweetie Belle added.
Jack felt an eerie chill trickle down his spine as he stared at the statue in question. It was as if a part of him were screaming to run away, and another was compelling him to kneel in respect.
“This creature is called a Draconequus,” Cheerilee explained. “He has the head of a pony and a body made up of all sorts of things. What do you suppose that represents?”
“Confusion!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.
Shoving her friend away Sweetie Belle shouted, “Evil!” only to be pushed away by Scootaloo.
“Chaos!” she exclaimed.
“It's not chaos, you dodo!” Sweetie Belle countered.
“Don't call me things I don't know the meaning of!” Scootaloo complained as Jack’s forehead began to throb. “And it is too chaos!”
“Is not!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, butting her head against Scootaloo’s.
“You're both wrong!” Apple Bloom declared as the argument devolved into physical blows and Jack clutched his pulsating chest.
For a second he could have sworn he saw a yellow glow from the statue’s chest.
“Actually, in a way, you're all right,” Cheerilee said, bringing the Crusader’s fight to a halt. “This statue represents Discord, which means a lack of harmony between ponies. In fact, you three have demonstrated discord so well that you're each going to write me an essay explaining it.”
The Crusaders pouted at the prospect of writing an essay as the rest of the class giggled at their misfortune.
“Now let's go, and I don't want any more fighting,” Cheerilee said.
The Crusaders continued bickering as the class followed Cheerilee, but Jack lingered around the statue. Fishing a joint and his Zippo from a pocket, his eyes flashed Jade ever so briefly. Wasting no time he stuck the joint in his mouth, lit it, and inhaled.
“We need to leave!” Emerald Jack screamed. The statue cracked around the stomach and then spread throughout the rest of the body. “Now!”
Jack took a step back and dropped his dope on the ground as the statue crumbled. Or rather the marble pealed off like flakes of dead skin to reveal living fur and scales beneath. In a flash, the statue turned into a living thing.
“I mean I can’t believe you still think you can beat me!” the being cackled hysterically before opening his eyes. “Wait… this isn’t right. Where are Celestia and Luna, what happened to my chaos, and…” Discord’s eyes locked on Jack, “what’s a human doing here?”
“I…” Jack stammered. “What… who are you?”
“Did Blutknochen not tell you about the spirit of chaos and disharmony?” the being asked. “I’m Discord, of course!”
“Wait, you know Blutknochen?” Jack asked, reaching into his other pocket.
“I’m insulted!” Discord exclaimed, sulking dramatically. “I’d have thought that old stiff would at least have the courtesy to mention his oldest pal! His partner in crime! His….”
“So you are with him!” Jack shouted, pulling a Berretta M9 from his pocket and emptying all 15 9mm rounds into his foe.
“What?” Discord questioned as the bullets slid out of his chest and the holes filled themselves. “Why would you attack me? Truly, I’m hurt.”
“You’re with him!” Jack said. “Of course, I attacked you!”
“Blutknochen?” Discord asked. “But you’re wi… wait!” Discord glared at Jack. “Why is your chaos so weak? It’s almost as if…” his eyes shot toward the discarded joint. “So that’s how it is,” he giggled. “You’re suppressing your true nature!”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Jack dismissed.
In a flash had transformed into a snake and coiled around Jack. “I think you do,” Discord said, dangling the joint in front of Jack’s face. “This isn’t the first time I’ve seen one of these, human. How many times a day does it take to keep the chaos contained?”
“None of your business!” Jack spat, jabbing the serpent with his knife.
Discord melted into a puddle, flowing back to his original position and returning to his initial form. “It’s sad,” he sighed. “You humans are the only species more chaotic than me, and yet you reduced yourself to this. Can you even use magic?”
“Why don’t we test that theory!” Jack roared, his eyes shooting emerald.
“Are sure this is a good idea?” Emerald Jack asked. “We haven’t tested….”
“I can do this!” Jack declared launching leaves from the nearby hedges at Discord.
In a flash, the leaves were changed to harmless holly petals.
“It’ll take more than leaves,” Discord chuckled. “Huh?” Roots burst from the ground beneath him only to turn into licorice as Discord grabbed them. “No dice!”
Jack chucked a pile of seeds at Discord, detonating them in a cloud of splinters around him.
“I must say acupuncture is quite welcome after all these centuries trapped in stone,” Discord cackled as the splinters popped out of his body.
Hardening his fists into mahogany clubs Jack moved in for close-quarters combat. “I’m not done yet!” he cried driving a left hook into Discord’s stomach. It had gone through as if he was bunching Jello but when Jack tried to pull out, he found his fist stuck firm.
“I can’t say I’m impressed,” Discord sighed as Jack helplessly tugged on his stuck arm.
“How about now!” Jack exclaimed exhaling a cloud of poisonous spores.
“Tisk tisk,” Discord said whisking the spores away with a hand fan. “Don’t you know chemical weapons are a war crime?”
Without warning, Jack’s hand was released from Discord’s grip and he went flying into a hedge.
“I wish I could say this was fun, but I have a world to turn upside down,” Discord scoffed. “Tell Celestia hi for me! TTFN!” with a flash and a pop he was gone.
Jack slowly picked himself up from the hedge. He couldn’t believe what had happened. A month of training in isolation and Discord had only been toying with him.
“We need to warn Celestia!” Emerald Jack warned.
Unfortunately, Celestia was the last pony Jack wanted to speak with.
Canterlot Castle: Throne Room
Like the rest of Canterlot, the throne room still bared the scars of the last battle. As far as Celestia was concerned the Castle should be the last building in line for repair.
The room didn’t serve any official purpose now that the new government had taken power, but Celestia couldn’t help but come here when she needed to think in peace.
“President Celestia!” a guard cried, interrupting her solace.
“What’s wrong?” Celestia asked.
“Corporal Jager is demanding an audience,” the guard reported.
“Demanding?” Celestia asked, surprised Jack wanted to speak with her at all.
“Celestia!” Jack shouted barging past the guard.
“Stand down, corporal!” the guard ordered.
“Let him speak,” Celestia said.
“I was in the sculpture garden,” Jack began. “One of the statues came to life and attacked me, said his name was Discord. I tried to stop him but he was too powerful.”
“Did you say Discord?” Celestia asked, a sense of dread creeping down her spine.
“That’s what he called himself,” Jack said. “Looked like someone Frankensteined a bunch of different creatures together.”
“President Celestia!” another guard called as he rushed into the room.
“Yes?” Celestia asked.
“It’s utter chaos out there, ma’am!” the guard panted. “Cotton candy clouds, sporadic showers of chocolate milk, corn crops are popping, plants and animals are mutating all across Equestria. Unicorns have tried to undo whatever magic’s causing these anomalies but whatever spell’s responsible is beyond even the most gifted of them.”
“I must summon the Elements at once!” Celestia declared.
“Wait who is this guy?” Jack asked as Celestia hastily wrote a letter.
“I suppose this does concern you,” Celestia sighed. “Long before I banished my sister to the moon Discord terrorized the lands of Equestria. It was only 300 or so years after my sister and I were crowned. While Blutknochen sought to bring humans to Equestria and exploit their chaos magic, Discord used his own chaos magic to turn the world upside down. Unlike Blutknochen Discord had no deep motive no master plan. He simply enjoyed chaos and despised order. My sister and I challenged Discord, but our own power wasn’t enough to stop him. It wasn’t until we used the Elements of Harmony that we were able to defeat him by imprisoning him in stone.”
“Why have I never read anything about him?” Jack questioned raising a brow in suspicion.
Celestia sighed knowing exactly where Jack was going with his question. “Humans and the Elements of Chaos are far from the only things that had to be wiped from the history books.”
“More lies, eh?” Jack scoffed.
Sending her letter away in a flash Celestia made her retort. “Some things are better forgotten.”
“Are they really?” Jack said with a determined glare. “What has all this secret history gotten ya, huh? Ya have yer people forget their past and then the past comes back tuh haunt ya. Yer sister returned from her imprisonment in the moon and no but Twilight was ready tuh stop her. I show up and everyone acts as if I’m an alien, the Elements of Chaos make a move, and no one’s heard of ‘em. Now this Discord guy is set tuh destroy everything and most people here don’t even know he exists!”
“Some day you’ll understand,” Celestia sighed.
“I think I understand just fine,” Jack sneered. “Many countries in my world try tuh cover things like this up, some even punish people fer telling the truth about history. Most just feed their children propaganda lines meant tuh induce loyalty. Japan was trying tuh liberate the less fortunate of Asia from western oppression, Mexico was infringing on the property rights of white Texans, The British opened fire on peaceful Boston colonists, there was no Armenian genocide or Holodomor, we were attacked twice in the Gulf of Tonkin, the Spanish blew up the Maine, the Civil War was fought over ‘states’ rights.’ No, Japan wanted tuh dominate the east, the Texans wanted tuh keep their slaves, the Boston Colonists were assaulting the British soldiers, the Armenian Genocide and Holodomor happened, America faked the second Gulf of Tonkin attack, the Maine’s coal bunkers blew up, and the Civil War was fought over slavery. In my world, the lies they teach us can be discovered through research, but you use magic tuh just poof away the evidence yer world now don’t ya?”
“Are you done?” Celestia asked.
“Fer now,” Jack huffed.
Canterlot Castle: Entry Hall
A few hours had passed and Celestia was nervously pacing around the grand staircase as Jack quietly fumed in a corner. Finally, the Mane Six burst through the door.
“President Celestia, we came as fast as we could!” Twilight exclaimed.
“Thank you, Twilight,” Celestia said, her tone dire. “Thank you, all.”
“Is this about the weather?” Twilight asked. “And the animals' weird behavior? What's happening out there? Why isn't my magic working? Is there…”
Celestia held up a hoof, signaling Twilight to stop. “Follow me,” she said, directing them down the hall.
Jack grunted and followed behind.
“I've called you here for a matter of great importance,” Celestia explained. “It seems an old foe of mine, someone I thought I had defeated long ago, has returned. His name... is Discord.”
“Of course, ya couldn’t explain the situation by letter,” Jack commented, his tone drenched in sarcasm. “Keeping secrets is far too important tuh save time so we can come up with a plan tuh stop this guy.”
Glancing up at a stained glass depiction of the being in question, Fluttershy squealed in fright. Celestia continued her explanation with Rainbow Dash cheering at the description of Discord’s defeat.
“I thought the spell we cast would keep him contained forever, but since Luna and I are no longer connected to the Elements, the spell has been broken,” Celestia explained.
“Should’ve thought about that before sweeping it under the rug, huh?” Jack snarked.
Twilight glanced at Jack before turning back to Celestia. “No longer connected?” she asked.
“There’s a reason I had the six of you retrieve the elements during the Battle of Canterlot,” Celestia said.
“Hey, look!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed pointing to a stained-glass depiction of their fight with Nightmare Moon. “We're famous!”
“You six showed the full potential of the Elements by harnessing the magic of your friendship to beat a mighty foe,” Celestia explained. “Although Luna and I once wielded the Elements, it is you who now control their power, and it is you who must defeat Discord!”
Twilight steeled her resolve. “President Celestia, you can count on….”
“Hold on a second!” Pinkie interrupted. “Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, you guys. Chocolate rain!”
“Some stay dry and others feel the pain,” Jack thought to himself. “God damnit, Pinks.”
“Don't listen to her, President,” Twilight said, “We'd be honored to use the Elements of Harmony again.”
Inserting her horn into a slot, Celestia opened a hidden compartment revealing a shiny blue chest.
“Ooh,” Rarity said. “You can keep the Elements. I'll take that case!”
“Have no fear, ponies,” Celestia said as she levitated the chest forward. “I have total confidence that you will be able to defeat Discord with these!”
Everyone gasped. The chest was empty.
“The Elements!” Twilight exclaimed. “They're gone!”
“That chamber is protected by a powerful spell that only I can break!” Celestia said. “This doesn't make sense!”
A series of cackles echoed throughout the halls. “Make sense?” Discord asked. “Oh, what fun is there in making sense?”
“Discord!” Celestia shouted. “Show yourself!”
“Did you miss me, Celestia?” Discord asked possessing his stained-glass image. “I missed you,” he said slithering into the window depicting the Battle with Nightmare Moon. “It's quite lonely being encased in stone, but you wouldn't know that, would you, because I don't turn ponies into stone.”
“Enough!” Celestia shouted, glaring daggers. “What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?”
“Oh, I just borrowed them for a teensy little while,” Discord answered smugly. With a snap of his fingers, the elements disappeared from the stained glass as well.
“You'll never get away with this, Discord!” Celestia declared stamping a hoof in defiance.
“Oh, I'd forgotten how grim you can be, Celestia,” Discord sighed. “It's really quite boring.”
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash snapped, charging at the window. “Nopony insults the President!”
Discord disappeared from the stained glass just as Rainbow Dash smashed face first into it. reappearing he said, “Oh, you must be Rainbow Dash, famed for her loyalty, the Element of Harmony you represent.”
“That's right!” Rainbow Dash affirmed. “I'll always be loyal to the President!”
“We'll see about that,” Discord scoffed, vanishing from the window.
“I can't believe we're wasting our time talking to a tacky window,” Rarity said as Discord popped up in the window next to her.
“The beautiful Rarity, representing the element of generosity, if I'm not mistaken?” Discord said.
“So ya know who we are, big deal,” Applejack huffed.
“Oh, I know much more than that, honest Applejack,” Discord said, increasing the size of his image in the window.
“You seem to know our strengths too,” Twilight noted.
“Yes, Twilight Sparkle, and yours is the most powerful and elusive element, magic,” Discord said. “Fluttershy's is kindness and Pinkie Pie's is a personal favorite of mine – laughter.” He chuckled as he danced on Twilight’s stained-glass depiction.
Pinkie snickered at his antics.
“Pinkie!” Twilight scolded.
“He's standing on your head!” Pinkie giggled.
“Stop stalling, Discord!” Celestia snapped. “What have you done with the Elements of Harmony?”
“Oh, so boring, Celestia. Really?” Discord asked indignantly. “Fine, I'll tell you, but I'll only tell you my way,” he agreed dancing between the windows. “To retrieve your missing Elements, just make sense of this change of events. Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the Elements back where you began.” With an ominous laugh, he vanished.
“Can we go home now?” Fluttershy asked meekly.
“What do you reckon he meant?” Applejack asked. “Twists and turns and endin' back where we started?”
“Twists and turns... twists and turns... twists and turns!” Twilight glanced out the window at the maze Discord’s statue had been. “That's it! I bet Discord hid the Elements in the palace labyrinth!”
“Good luck, my little ponies,” Celestia said. “The fate of Equestria is in your hooves.”
“Thanks, President,” Twilight said as she and the others raced outside. “We won't let you down.”
Canterlot Sculpture Garden
“W-We have to go in there?” Fluttershy asked shuddering at the imposing entrance to the hedge maze.
“Nope!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed taking to the sky. “Dopey Discord forgot about these babies! I'll just do a quick flyover and we'll have the Elements in no time.” With a poof, her wings vanished and she came crashing down. “My wings!”
Fluttershy screamed as her wings disappeared from her back and Twilight’s and Rarity’s horns vanished from their heads.
“Your horn! My horn! Ahhh!” The unicorns gasped at each other.
“You–You should see the looks on your faces,” Discord sneered popping into existence in front of them. “Priceless!”
“Give us our wings and horns back!” Twilight demanded.
“You'll get them back in good time,” Discord assured them. “I simply took them to ensure there's no cheating. You see, this is the first rule of our game: no flying, and no magic.”
“The first rule?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“The second rule is everypony has to play or the game is over, and I win,” Discord elaborated. “Good luck, everypony!” Discord shouted cackling as he teleported away.
“Never fear,” Twilight said. “We have each other!”
“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash agreed. “Like Twilight said, there's nothing we can't overcome if we all stick together!”
“Alright, let's do this!” Twilight declared as she and the others marched through the entrance.
“Together!” They agreed.
The last thing Jack saw was a wall of hedge dividing him from the others before he lost consciousness.
“One more rule,” Discord cackled. “No humans.”
Unknown
Jack found himself floating in a cluster of junk that reminded him of the void in the Amazing World of Gumball. Books were flying like birds, houses floating upside down, candy of all shapes and sizes, and creatures that looked straight out of the works of HP Lovecraft.
“Where am I?” Jack asked.
“Welcome to my mind,” Discord said. “You didn’t think I’d let you help them, did you?”
“I don’t think they’ll need my help,” Jack said.
“Oh, I wouldn’t bet on that,” Discord chuckled. “But that’s beside the point.”
“Then what is the point?” Jack asked.
“In the beginning, this world was ruled by four beings who mastered the art of chaos,” Discord said. “Me and Blutknochen were two of those four. Then around 40,000 years ago a new power was discovered, that of harmony. A pony used this power to cast one of these rulers into the pits of Tartarus beginning the long struggle between chaos and harmony. The remaining three of us went our separate ways, but not before Blutknochen and I agreed to stay out of each other’s way.”
“Again, what’s your point?” Jack asked. “Unless you intend to give away Blutknochen’s plans I’m not interested in whatever it is your selling.”
“I’m afraid telling you anything else about it you don’t know would violate the agreement we have,” Discord chortled. “I’m sure you’ve figured out he requires human magic to achieve his goals, which is why you’re here. I don’t really care if he gets what he wants out of your kind, but I do find it irksome to see a creature as chaotic as a human waste away trying to be an agent of harmony. I can’t corrupt you like I can with ponies, but I must say I think you’d be happier accepting your true nature.”
“What do mean you can’t corrupt me the way you could ponies?” Jack asked.
“Oh?” Discord said dawning the outfit of a movie director. “Perhaps you’d be interested in a portfolio of my latest work.”
A projector screen showed him footage of Applejack lying, Pinkie Pie sarcastically dismissing her friend’s concern for her, Rarity covetously guarding a boulder she insisted was a diamond, Fluttershy bullying her friends, and Rainbow Dash abandoning her friends.
Canterlot Sculpture Garden
Jack rubbed his head as he came too. The hedges had all vanished and the Mane Six sans Rainbow Dash stood some distance away helpless as Discord appeared in front of them.
“Well, well, well. Somepony broke the "no wings; no magic" rule,” Discord gloated returning the pony’s horns and wings with a snap of his fingers. “Game's over, my little ponies. You didn't find your precious elements.” Lightning crashed from the sky as Discord pulled an inside-out umbrella from hammer space. “Looks like we might be due for a big old storm of chaos,” he said laughing maniacally.