Three Birds With One Swat

by Reviewfilly


Debriefing

Back in the barracks, a snow-white pegasus sat at her desk in her office. In one hoof she held a small mug of coffee that she absentmindedly sipped every once in a while. Her eyes were glued to a report in her other hoof, its ink still fresh.

“Splendid,” she said, looking up at the figure sitting in front of her for a moment. “You have all done an impeccable job.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

She read through another line of text. “Though, I’m not entirely sure if the amount of damage inflicted on the second suspect was really necessary. I would understand it during different circumstances, but as far as I know the plan to lure them back to their hideout and incapacitate them was executed flawlessly, am I correct?”

She glanced up again. The griffon on the other side of the table shuffled uncomfortably in his chair. “Yes, ma’am. From the little I’ve heard from the others, the squad was quite appalled with the state you were found in, ma’am, so their hooves may have slipped a few times.”

The mare sighed and slowly buried her face in her hooves. “Sweet Princesses, we still have ways to go, haven’t we?” she whispered, before she cleared her throat and looked up again. “Regardless, this was a great first step. Thank you, Gavallo, your service to the Crown will be repaid as promised and you may relocate to Equestria as soon as possible.”

He bowed his head. “Thank you, ma’am.”

“Now then, unless there is anything else, you are dismissed.”

The young griffon stood up, but he didn’t leave.

“Ma’am, there actually is. May I ask a question?”

“Yes?”

“Why did you put yourself in so much danger and why did you order fifty ponies to capture three griffons? Even if we are stronger than individual ponies, such numbers were more than unnecessary.” He stopped for a second, unsure if he should continue. After taking a deep breath, his voice sank low. “Not to mention, why did you allow them to operate for so long, when I have been giving you reports of their misdeeds for months?”

The mare’s lips curled into a knowing smile. She took another sip of her coffee. “Ah, Gavallo, Gavallo. Do not ask questions that you aren’t meant to know the answers to.” Without raising her eyes from the paper, she continued. “But, since I’m in a very good mood, I might let you in on a little secret.” She placed the paper on the desk and stamped it with a small green checkmark, before folding it and putting it in a drawer.

“Let’s just say the times are changing and you have been part of an elaborate test. Equestria is simply too big nowadays and by the grace of our dear rulers it will only become bigger. There are simply not enough ponies and material to handle every little conflict upfront. We cannot have our poor Diarchs running around solving crisis after crisis, nor the Guard occupy cities for months unending over trivial matters. It is wasteful, noisy, and weighs down on everyone.

“No, it is time to invest into another approach. One ponies won’t even need to worry about let alone know of. Let’s call it being discrete. Nipping issues in the bud before they grow big enough to give our dear rulers and the poor citizens concern. Carrots to the likes of you, sticks to the likes of our three good birds. Oh, by the way, don’t worry about their revenge. They won’t be seeing our Princess’s light for quite some time.”

“I don’t understand, we just brought three criminals to justice, no?”

“That’s the beauty of it. It depends on who you ask. You see, as far as everyone else is concerned, including the Princesses, who are far too busy to personally supervise the arrest of every single petty criminal, yes, that’s exactly all that happened. A couple of bad apples were locked up and Equestria became a little bit safer.

“What they do not know is how much work went into maintaining this facade. For instance, officially we don’t know each other. We’ve never even met. The trio was captured by a lucky sting operation orchestrated by a brave volunteer group of five guardsponies, who shall receive the proper accolades for their duty. Fifty ponies appearing in a forest without anyone seeing or hearing about it? Darkening the sky? Magic gear that allows ponies to see through the night? All of it sounds fantastical and absurd. And that’s intentional. Common sense itself will act as our shield against any slip-ups.

“You may be wondering about the official reason why you’re allowed to immigrate here. It is quite literally ‘Harmony.’ While it has a more nuanced legal meaning rooted in ancient Equestrian law, it is also a code word understood by all bureaucrats to mean one simple thing: ‘It’s none of your business.’

“There was nothing special about these griffons and I’m sorry to say, but there is nothing special about you either. You all were simply very convenient to test how much I can push things before cracks start to form. We must, after all, be vigilant about any and all issues that could cause headaches down the line. And I am very pleased to say that it seems like it was even easier to do than I expected.

“Do you get it now?”

Gavallo looked at her with shock written all over his face. His beak clattered from the panic he felt. “But… but now I know all this. And I know that Ginerva was needlessly hurt! What if I speak?”

The pegasus laughed at him. It was a sweet laugh, without any malice, yet it sent a shiver down his spine. “Oh, you griffons are endlessly amusing! One moment you call me ma’am, now you’re trying to bite the hoof that feeds you!” She shook her head with a sly grin, before emptying her mug and placing it on the table. “But that’s the best part, actually. You won’t speak. No matter how moral you now try to be in the last minute, you’ve been complicit in the whole thing until this point. I have a binder full of your diligent reports, remember? The ones you made to hold up your end of the bargain.”

“You blackmailed me!” he hissed as the realization dawned on him. His face hardened into a scowl. “I… I’ll take you down with me! This sort of trickery is against all honor and I won’t stand for it any longer!”

“Oh please, just try it!” she jeered, flaring her white wings towards him. “Even with how disorganized my staff was, making three griffons disappear was already foal's play. What’s one more?” She put her hooves on the table and raised herself above the griffon. “Now go, enjoy your life in our peaceful country, little bird. And hope we will never see each other again.”

Gavallo stared at the pony in front of him and, for only a single moment, saw something else, something bigger in her place.

The sight sent him stumbling out of the office.

He felt like he was flying without sight.