//------------------------------// // Blind As A Bat Part 2 // Story: She Drives Me Batty // by I Thought I Was Toast //------------------------------// The sweet shade of midnight was, as always, our greatest ally, and yet the heathens before us stole away that small comfort even as the battle began. One of their sub-commanders barked an order, and the harsh, hungry light of the sun was suddenly blazing in the sky. White enough to sear the eyes, it hung like an eye above us, casting judgment on those below. Blinding my troops. Burning them. Revealing them. The blessed blanket of the Nightmother was gone as the flare hung with angry and malevolent light. While my own troops hissed at the miniature sun searing their eyes and bodies, the enemy rallied behind cries to slay all monsters of the night. Unfettered by clouds and with the skies as clear as day, a group of their holy clerics chanted on a far off mountaintop to suddenly let loose a raging blast of solfire. The full might of the sun witch—bless and curse her name—flew true to strike the small ship I had trusted to lead the advance, and my heart clenched in pain as I could do naught but watch from the shadows. One. Two. Three. Four. I cursed anew. Fortune favored me that I only lost one of the five mighty warriors within, yet even that was a heavy burden on my heart. My gaze paused on the wreckage for a moment, but I could see no sign of the crew climbing out of the ship as shots continued to fly. Nightmare take the sun-blasted heretics. How could the day dwellers think the sisters of sun and moon wanted this? Why did the Mourning Star not stop them? As the first dreadful volley ended, the enemy’s flare burnt itself out and night returned. Smoldering embers fell from the spot the dreaded star had hung, like tears falling from the heavens. I wondered if their goddess was forced to watch every time her so-called followers fought in her name, and pity warred with smoldering hate in my chest at the thought. Did they hate the Nightmother so much that they could not even leave us to grieve her passing? Did they— “Uh, Night? Are you crying? You haven’t even had a turn yet.” Blinking at the fact Calculated had managed to add a smidge of emotion to his normally dead drone, I became painfully aware of the fact that while my Commander had the luxury of hiding, I didn’t. Quickly rubbing at my eyes, I knew there was only one thing that could hide my shame. “N-no! I just got some shrapnel in my eye!” I rubbed all the harder to avoid the stares, but that couldn’t save me from hearing Mom’s amused snort nor from dying in the face of Princess Twilight’s giggles. “Shrapnel?” A few clicks highlighted Calculated tilting his head with clockwork precision. “But we aren’t actually firing shots.” “Dust, then!” Settling behind my shades, I was determined to stonewall Calculated no matter what he said. My frogs sweated hard as he cast his gaze around the sparkling death trap that was the throne room—spotlessly clean and all the more blinding for it. “Mmm… alright, then.” He turned back to the table and buried his nose in his rulebook. “Take all the time you need for your turn, then.” Errr… wait, what? How did he buy that? “Yes, yes… I’ve gotten crystal dust in my eyes in Thaumaturgy class. It is absolutely the worst.” Flipping a few pages in his book, he stopped for a moment, hummed, and then pulled out a second rulebook for my army to start referencing the troops I had on the board. Was… was he playing me? Was this some sort of mind game? Or just his usual him-ness? I swear, if he was pretending not to notice out of pity, I was gonna— “Oh, tell me about it.” Princess Twilight smiled knowingly as she looked at me, but her response was addressed to the book-buried Calculated. “The only thing worse than getting it in the eye is accidentally inhaling it. If you’re lucky, it’s only a little and you just sneeze, but there was this one time I hiccuped in the middle of a summoning ritual. Instead of tea time with Fluttershy and Flooferzhad—daemon prince of fluffy bunnies—I was stuck coughing up blood while banishing a rampaging Flooferzhic—daemon prince of cuddles.” Well, at least the Princess was helping me cover. “Wait. Daemons actually exist?” The flipping pages paused as Calculated was even further distracted. “Probably not like you’re thinking, but yes.” Mom was next at bat, and that made me feel so warm yet so embarrassed at the same time. I was an adult! I didn’t need her covering for me! I definitely wasn’t sniffing as I mentally finished the last of the letters to my dear, departed troops in my head! Mom’s chuckle cared not for my needs, though. “My husband has gotten more than a few cracked limbs protecting the princess here from being hugged to death.” “Hrmmm… Oh no. I had heard that hum before. I lived in fear of it. “Sounds like the company got that bit of lore right, then. And here I thought they just made up the demon faction. Where can I find a book on them, Princess?” He asked her with a perfectly straight face, no sign of understanding nor fear. I, however, had been hugged exactly once by one—not counting Pinkie Pie—and that was more than enough nightmare fuel. It. Had. Also. Been. Pink. There were two Pinks! It hurt my batty, little brain just thinking about it. Rubbing the bridge of my nose, I sighed. “Sweet milk of Luna, Calculated, please tell me you aren’t planning on summoning a demon.” He blinked and looked at me. “But a real life model would be so much better than my books. I already have plenty of illustrations in my books.” Stepping up to Calculated, I set a hoof on his shoulder. “I’m taking my turn now. Drop it.” “But I—“ “Drop it!” From the shadows, I pointed my hooves at the enemy forces. My whispers traveled through the chill night air, carried on starlight and dreams. The echoes of war sounded as my troops sang their silent dirge, and with hollow hearts and heated spirits, they descended on the enemy to wreak vengeance. My hellions screed in defiance as they shot down the mountains to either side of the battlefield. They had been hit the hardest, and their once massive flocks were now scattered and thinned. Precious time was wasted as they converged and readied to charge, and as they descended upon the many isolated groups dotting the hills and valleys, earth ponies and pegasi charged forth to act as meat shields for their unicorn brethren. Spears were chucked at my onrushing forces to pick a few more of them off, and the earth ponies leveled enormous lances to skewer even more at the moment of impact. Swarms that once darkened our skies seemed like naught but gnats before our foes. And yet, even as gnats, my troops fought with dire ferocity. Fangs tore into throats; claws sliced into flesh. Nightmare-touched steel burnt the souls of both friend and foe alike. Some of my troops thrashed and howled as the Nightmare took them—their anger and agony and grief simply too much to bear—and I forced myself to watch as they lost themselves in their thirst for vengeance. Hellions and nightmare spawn alike tore through my foe and surged forward to encircle a few of the sun-blasted unicorns, but they made less progress than I hoped, and my heart grew heavy at how many unicorns would be free to fire unopposed in the coming salvo. My so-called vanguard of incubi dashed forward, yet without their ship, they could not make it to the fight in time, and so I hesitantly called forth the latest lumbering aberrations my army’s wretched gravetender had made. The old bat reveled in taking the souls of the damned day dwellers and coalescing them into horrible beasts. His latest batch was no exception—made of pulsating Nightmare blue flesh that melted and bubbled and slithered. Tentacles oozed with stagnating corruption, and snarling heads glared with hatred so pure it left one unable to move. Occasionally an eye opened within the mass of heresy given flesh, and every bubbling boil popped with a gasp and the silent scream of some poor soul seeking help. They gurgled out a horrible, soul-melting roar as they appeared, and the world itself buckled in wrongness. Air bent and flowed to escape the sound they made, a vacuum being left in its wake that left several groups of enemy troops choking without any noise in the ominous absence. The unnerving quiet hung for a few seconds before collapsing explosively as the world attempted to right itself, air rushing back in with enough force that the troops unable to stagger free were crushed into a violent and bloody pulp. My blood boiled at the necessity of it all, and yet, with any luck the poor souls would be laid to rest rather than joining their brothers within the aberrations. Stars above, I hated them; I needed to make sure they were put down, and having them act as cover for my incubi until they could close and cut the remaining enemies down would help with that. The next unicorn salvo was just about ready, after all. My other ships were trying to snipe a few last key targets, but the cover was just too dense. Come Nightmare or Daydream, my forces needed to survive one more volley that I might finally emerge from the shadows and lead the final charge. I prayed enough might survive that we could earn the dead their vengeance. I owed them that much…. Hiding in the shadows as I was—waiting to strike rather than living and dying leading by glorious example—this had all been a terrible mistake. Worship me as their commander, my troops might, but right here and now, I was nothing more than a coward. No, it was worse than that, I was a— “Hrmmm…. That’s a rather interesting use of your aberrations.” Calculated furrowed his brow. “I wasn’t expecting you to use them as cover, though I suppose it makes sense.” Bringing his head level with various squads, he used their line of sight to glance over the wall of pulsating monstrosities and frowned even further. “It’s very unlike you, really, but I applaud the move. I can't line up a shot on the troops behind them, and I’m definitely not killing the aberrations themselves in one turn. It’s a very excellent use of meat shields.” Wait. What? Was that… praise? Oh… oh, no… I had just tossed some of my units in front of others expecting them to die. I was becoming him. “I-it’s not like that!” Shaking my head, I literally spat out the thought before it could take root. “I just don’t like the lore behind those. The souls of the dead should be allowed to rest, not ground up into monsters and used as war machines. The fact Dark Templars have stuff like that is just… It bothers me, okay? It’s the last thing any thestral would ever want.” Calculated blinked a bit before nodding. “I can understand that, I suppose. This is a griffon game, though, you know. They love making their war games extra gritty and dark. There are no good guys in a world consumed by war; every faction is like that, even mine.” “I know.” Pouting, I kicked the ground. “Still… those things cross a line. It doesn’t count if I sacrifice them. All that does is let me put their tortured souls to rest.” Crossing my hooves, I frowned at the board. “Unlike you, I don’t go out of my way to sacrifice my troops' lives. Those pegasi of yours had no business in being left so vulnerable. The earth ponies I get, but if you’d held your pegasi back, you could have counter-charged.” Levitating his glasses off, Calculated pulled a spray bottle from his saddlebags to clean them. “True, but I was worried you’d roll well and tear through every single one of my earth ponies.” He gestured at the map to where two pockets of my hellions had broken through to engage his unicorns. “See that? If it had happened with the rest of your hellions, I wouldn’t even be able to get a unicorn salvo off on you. Those pegasi were insurance.” “A harsh assessment, but true.” Mom stepped forward from where she rested against the wall to glance the board over. “Correct me if I’m wrong—all three of you certainly know the game itself better.” Mom gave a nod to me, Calculated, and Princess Twilight. “But it appears my daughter’s forces are, true to thestral fashion, the sort of troops that perform best when upfront and personal.” “That is a rather accurate assessment.” Princess Twilight nodded. “Dark Templar do have ranged options, but Nightingale’s army here has only a few of them present.” Holy moon and stars above, Princess Twilight knew my name. I mean, of course she did. She’d used it before on occasion, but it was always so weird to hear my meager name on her lips. She was the first to ascend in— Okay, I guess there was Cadance, but Cadance didn’t bring back Princess Luna! And the way she said it was so… informal. Gah! Levitating up a swagger stick to gesture to my troops, the princess smiled from beneath her generals cap with far too much warmth for the role. “Her force is mostly shock troops, mobile strike squads, and a few airships acting as long range artillery as the majority of her army closes the distance to rip the Day Guard a new one.” “I see.” Mom’s gaze followed the head of the swagger stick intently as she licked her lips. “Definitely the right move, tossing those pegasi in the blender, then.” What? Betrayal! Don’t praise him for sending ponies to die! “Mom! How could you say that?! Those guards have wives! Foals! Entire lives of their own back home!” I reared back as if struck by her words. Calculated was rolling dice in the background, but I could barely hear what he was muttering to himself about. “And?” Mom arched her brow. “You, your father, and I all have lives of our own, too. You know what it means to enlist. You have for a long time now.” “But that’s not— I don’t endanger— He’s throwing lives away! Guards don’t do that! They save lives!” “It saved plenty of lives doing that.” Mom shook her head. “He kept his unicorns alive, and that’s the most important thing he could do. See?” She gestured to the board, and I saw that all the surviving earth ponies and pegasi had fallen back to make another ring of protection, while my hellions continued to drop like flies as Calculated’s unicorns slung spell after spell. “I can’t even… How can you take his side here?” With a groan, I clutched my head and staggered to my knee. “Sides? We aren’t taking sides here.” Princess Twilight giggled. “You’re both doing very—” “Speak for yourself, Princess.” Mom snorted and shook her head, moving to rest a hoof on my shoulder. “You are going to need to learn that being a commander and being a guard are two very different things if you want to follow in mine and your father’s hoofsteps, Night. Sometimes, sacrifices need to be made.” She tapped my chest. “You know that here already. You’ve shown you’re ready on more than one occasion, at least when it comes to sacrificing yourself. Leading troops, though? It requires a different kind of sacrifice—one that is not for everypony.” With a low, guttural growl, I rustled my wings. “So you are taking his side?” “No.” Mom chuckled. “I’m taking your side. I thought this would be a nice, little break, but you’re clearly taking it way too seriously. As your self-appointed military advisor, I’m making sure you understand why Calculated is making his decisions.” “Okay, then, wise and all-mighty Mom.” The growl in my throat lessened, though I still rustled my wings irritably. “Do you have any advice on how to beat him?” “Oh, heavens no.” With a bark of laughter, Mom cast her eyes over the table. “This is your game, not mine; I haven’t a clue about any of the rules. My best advice is to just have fun with it, but since you are so dead set on turning your break into more work?” Mom retreated back to her place by the wall with a shrug. “I thought I’d add a little lesson in.” As I turned to focus on the table with a grumble, Calculated rolled one last set of dice before nodding. “Your turn, Night.” Wait. What? Did he really… “How?” I opened and closed my mouth a few times. “I didn’t even make any rolls to dodge your attacks!” “That would be what those dice by each of your units is for. You seemed rather busy, so I hedged my bets and divvied up my shots without waiting for your rolls. It might end up wasting a few shots if you roll poorly, but based on the math—” My hoof stuck itself over his mouth to get him to stop. “Alright, alright, I get it.” Looking at the dice I had to roll, I noted there were fewer than I expected from his unicorns. A part of me wondered if he’d fudged his rolls and taken pity on me, but I quickly brushed it away. This was Calculated here. All logic and no brain. He didn’t fight dirty or cheat; he certainly didn’t show pity. Picking up the dice, I rolled to see how many troops I lost. Not many, but even those few were too many. “You have the Nightmare’s own luck it seems.” Twilight perked on seeing the rolls. “You mean Nightmother’s.” I retorted without looking back. There was the rustle of paper and books as the princess nerded out. “Actually, the lore for the game clearly states that Luna—” “If she says it’s the Nightmother’s, it’s the Nightmother’s, aye, Princess?” Mom spoke softly. “But the lore—” “Aye, Princess?” I frowned at Mom’s tone even as my eyes stayed glued to the table. Various plans flitted through my head, and I liked none of them. I couldn’t safely slip my commander in without suffering even worse losses, but perhaps… Perhaps that was okay? Yes, it was all coming together. I had a plan, and a risky one at that, but if it worked I’d be able to rub it in Calculated’s face. Picking up my commander and her guard, I put them down one by one in a small section of map that left me surrounded on all sides. I was careful to put myself as close to my target as possible so that a whole inch was shaved from their charge, and then I started fitting as many of my shadows as I could beside her. Calculated hummed on seeing me appear in the middle of his tasty, tasty troops. “Err… Nightingale? What are you doing? There isn’t enough room there to place those troops down there.” “Not all of them, no.” The constant and idle turning of rulebook pages paused for a moment before rapidly increasing in speed. “Come again?” “The rules clearly state that if I try to bring in reinforcements, and not all of them fit, then the rest are treated as casualties.” Quick with the measuring tape, I measured how far every one of Calculated’s models was from me. “I won’t be able to bring all of my shadows in, but I will bring in enough of them to ruin you from within. I am going to dismantle you from the inside with nothing but me and…” One last measurement deepened my pensive frown. “Three of my personal guards.” “Ohhhh… that’s quite the cheeky play,”  said Princess Twilight. “Reminds me of when I charged Nightmare Moon horn first.” Mom snorted and ruffled her wings as she walked up next to the Princess. “You do love playing the hero. I still have dreams about the day you teleported Mettle and me into the middle of Grogar’s undead army.” “Oh, it wasn’t so bad, was it? Both of you had been complaining about the paperwork so much, I figured letting you be front and center in a little adventure would brighten your day.” Clopping her hooves together, Twilight squeed. “I still have that mid-fight kiss squarely at number sixty-nine in my Top Hundred Friendship Forever Moments list! “Princess, brightening me and my husband's day should not have taken priority over teleporting in with Starlight and Tempest.” “Yes, yes… you’ve told me a million times, but Starlight and Tempest could have blown up that army in less time than I had to sneeze at Grogar. I wanted you two to—” Twilight cut herself off as I declared my charges and rolled. “—do exactly what your daughter is about to do.” A pad of paper swirled forth from the storm of books orbiting the Princess to fly over to Mom. “Go on. Take notes.” “That’s suicide.” Calculated stared intently at the board as my commander charged one direction and my shadows charged the other. “Never underestimate a small, concentrated strike force.” I had a straight shot to several groups of unicorns, and I took it. Even as the rest of my remaining forces attempted to deal with the wall of earth ponies and pegasi, I would strike at their heart. Rip it. Tear it. Bleed it for every life the enemy had taken. And if it cost me my life? So be it. If there was one thing Calculated would never understand, it was leading by example. He kept his warlord hidden, giving orders yet never taking charge. Perhaps having a bloodthirsty behemoth barreling down on him would teach the hosenscheißer a lesson. Fangs flew and claws clashed as I tore my commander into a line of elite unicorn snipers. Their resolve was laughable in the face of my steel will, the panicked foals tripping over themselves as they routed beneath my might. One or two attempted a feeble buck; a third gored at me with their horn. Their sacrifices were in vain now that the beast within had stirred. Every one of them fell beneath me—especially those that ran. There was no place for such cowards. If they were unwilling to finish the fight they started, I would finish it for them. My grim face scowled as I advanced from one group of unicorns to the next. I rolled into and over them like a boulder, consolidating to avoid leaving myself in the line of fire. My shadows followed my examples, tearing apart one squad before charging right into the next. None of us fell, and that emboldened my other advancing troops. Four whole units taken care of in seconds. Two torn into a fine and delicious mist, and two buried beneath me and my shadows. The latter would be forced to run rather than shoot if they wanted to live. I licked my chops as I stared at the board, heart pounding as my turn ended. Somepony was clapping. The Princess? “Well done, well done! I’m not sure your friend will be able to get out of that.” Bending her swagger stick with a giddy giggle, she cracked her tail like a whip as she leaned in. “Did you see that, Morning?” “No, Princess, I was busy taking notes. Did Night turn things around?” A second whipcrack had the Princess flicking Mom as punishment for her snarkiness and insubordination. “She may have. The dice gods certainly favored her that round.” “RNGeneighsis certainly has her number.” Calculated was very carefully measuring distances, his feelings masked by his ever monotone voice as he squinted at the measuring tape. “RN-who-now?” Both Mom and I blinked in bafflement. “Geneighsis! He was a pegasus who—” The words died in Princess Twilight’s throat as Mom had the audacity to give her The Look. “I mean, it’s gamer lingo, don’t worry about it.” As Mom and Princess Twilight kept going, Calculated muttered to himself as he danced about the table. “Mmm… depriving yourself of almost a whole unit to strike at me from within. I wasn’t expecting such recklessness.” He had been forced to fall back and regroup, and every spell under the sun was being leveled at me as I stood exposed and alone, but I had accomplished my job. With any luck, I just might weather the onrushing salvo if my luck held out, but I didn’t hold my breath as Calculated started rolling. The dice giveth, and the dice taketh away; it was one of Button Mash’s favorite sayings. I was— My commander was incinerated in a blaze of solfire; her shadows fared little better. It took all of Calculated’s firepower to ensure their demise, but he was as infuriatingly mechanical as ever. Advancing his last few earth ponies forward, he stopped them just in front of me to slow my advance and buy his unicorns another turn to retreat and regroup. There he went just tossing lives away again, and it was going to work, too. That was the worst part. Despite everything I managed, he was still going to win. I could see it all playing out before me. Double checking the board twice, Calculated finally tapped it and sighed. “That’s my turn. You’re up.” “You mean that’s game.” I shook my head as I toppled my remaining forces. “Probably. But you never know. You could get lucky with your dice, and this battle ended much closer than our others.” He frowned at my toppled commander. “Not many people are willing to suicide their commander to get the upper hand. You caught me by surprise there. A less experienced player would have pulled back everything in a panic after that stunt, and you would have had them.” “But not you.” “No, not me.” Completely unfazed by my fang-filled glower, he started packing up. “Same time next week?” Mom was there before I could even open my mouth. “She won’t be back at school next week either, but you’ll be allowed to face her here and at home all you want. After watching that, I can see just how educational it is for her.” She grinned. “Now, how about we go get some ice cream?” “Oh! Ice cream? Lemme go grab Spike, and we can chat about the game! I was taking notes the whole time unlike somepony—” Princess Twilight paused to stick her tongue out at Mom. “—and I had a few points I wanted to bring up. You don’t mind, do you?” “I… errr… uh…” How did one refuse royalty? “Of course you’re welcome, Princess.” Mom didn’t even bat an eye as she took one for the team. “I’d love a few lessons on how the game works. You can lecture me all you like.” The magic words had been uttered. The die had been cast, and Twilight’s eyes gleamed as she turned to mom. Several more rulebooks popped into existence as she opened her mouth, and Mom was lost to the book-nado.