//------------------------------// // Digging Up Trouble: The Ruins of the Past // Story: The Time Ponies (Fail to) Take a Vacation // by My name is R //------------------------------// Emerald’s first thought was that she had gotten sick. The splitting headache fit with a fever, as did the uncomfortable notion that no matter how much she didn’t want to get up she would have to relieve herself soon. Dry throat was another sign of illness, but seasickness wasn’t. Slowly she opened her eyes. After a disorienting flash of lights and shadows she closed her eyes and clung tighter to her bed. …Which was shaped more like a seesaw than a bed, now that she thought about it. “Oh, you’re awake.” She heard somepony say as the rocking stopped. “Are you feeling better?” Deciding that she didn’t feel like shaking her head, she tried to say ‘no’, but nothing came out. “Huh?” In a hoarse whisper she managed “Help… stand.” In response her bed lowered itself towards the ground until she was standing, then slithered away. Carefully she opened her eyes again, and this time she saw the Everfree forest around them. Derpy stood in front of her, concern in her eyes. “Give… minute,” she whispered, stumbling off the path. A few hours later the expedition halted in front of the castle. Emerald stopped using Derpy as a support and turned to face her. “Thanks again for your help.” “No problem!” Derpy chirped. “I love helping ponies, especially my friends!” They turned to watch where a brown stallion with a gray mane and beard was climbing a pile of rocks like a stage. “Alright, we’ve made good time. Now, anypony who would like to help check the castle for traps come with me. The rest of you, prepare the camp.” Derpy led the way toward the entrance where the stallion was waiting. When he was joined by a younger stallion, she recognized them as the two stallions who had come with Daring Do. Biff and …Nightingale? The one she thought might be Dr. Caballeron. After waiting a few moments, it became clear that nopony else would be joining them. The leader looked at her and Derpy. “I am pleased to see that you have recovered yourself from last night. I trust you have your wits back?” Emerald felt her cheeks flush. “Oh. You saw that?” “Your compañera nearly carried you in the door, and she did carry you to your bed.” Emerald really wished the TARDIS could go back in time, just so she could stop herself from being stupid last night. Unfortunately all she could do was stare at the floor and hope the topic changed quickly. “I’m all better,” she mumbled. “Excellent. Then let us begin. We have to find all the traps before the surveyors and engineers come in and record what needs repairs.” He led the way up the steps and into the crumbling castle. The first room was as Emerald remembered it. The orrery was still standing in the center of the room, now bereft of the Elements. To one side Dr. Caballeron was examining the patch of wall that she had cleaned on their last visit. It was no longer shiny, but it was still much cleaner than the rest of the wall. “How curious. This section of wall is clearly special somehow, but I don’t think it can move, so it can’t be a pressure plate. Emerald, can you detect warding spells? I’m afraid that none of my usual associates are magically inclined.” ‘Because the Tenochtitlan basin is populated entirely by earth ponies, so you’ve never had to worry about magical traps,’ Emerald thought. ‘I’m onto you, buddy.’ “Only if they are intended as a warning, but that’s not what that patch means.” “Oh? You know something about this?” “Yes. I’m actually why it’s there. I cleaned it up when our team came through here. So, there is a story behind it, but there’s nothing structurally or magically special about it anymore.” “Really? Well, after we finish our work for today, perhaps you could tell me its story. I plan on turning the castle into a museum, so a reliable tale behind an observable oddity could make for a good first exhibit.” “Certainly,” Emerald replied. Dr. Caballeron took a pen and notebook out of his saddlebags and wrote something down. After finding nothing dangerous in the entryway, they moved on to the next room; a large and once beautiful hall. The roof was missing, and other than an obvious stone path with a few branches, the floor was dirt, not stone like Dr. Caballeron would have guessed. There were two tapestries in the back, one golden and the other blue. Another blue one hung on the left wall between two hallways. Dr. Caballeron walked up to the blue tapestry on the side and scratched his chin, the others close behind. The tapestry showed a blue alicorn standing atop a hill on a cloudy night. “What we have here appears to be evidence that the ‘royal sisters’ were Celestia and another alicorn, rather than early unicorn rulers between the founding of Equestria and Celestia's appearance. I knew this castle would be full of historical significance!” Derpy nodded. “Yep! That's Princess Luna!” Dr. Caballeron turned to face her. “You've heard of her? And you think you know her name?” “Not only that, but she's seen her as well,” Miss Emerald added. “In our world, Princess Luna came back a few years ago and reconciled with Celestia.” “So in your world the prophecy of her return came true?” “Yep!” Derpy answered. These mares were proving to be an excellent source of information. He could hardly wait to speak with them at length this evening. “Interesting. I wonder what changed in our world to disrupt it… But that can wait for another time. Miss Derpy, would you be so kind as to investigate behind the curtains for any sort of secret switch?” Derpy saluted. “Yes sir!” Then she grabbed the bottom of the tapestry and lifted it away from the wall, revealing a stone that came out further than the rest. Emerald grinned and pressed it with her magic, causing the section of wall around the tapestry to begin spinning. “Quickly, through the gap!” Dr. Caballeron said, leading Biff through the hole just before it slammed shut with an echoing Boom! Looking around he saw that the only one not present was Miss Emerald. “Hello! Can anypony hear me?” Biff poked his head out of the hall to the right of the revolving trapdoor. “Yeah, loud and clear.” Miss Emerald walked over and saw them standing in front of the tapestry, which was in plain sight from the archway. “Wait a minute. There’s a secret passage… that leads to the same place as the hallway next to it?” “Yes,” answered Dr. Caballeron. “The architect of this castle, if my theory is correct, designed it with another’s input. So while no doubt the best designers in the land were the creators of this castle, they did so in part at the behest of the same mare who helped instate a labyrinth second only to those of minotaur make in the seat of her country’s power.” Derpy tilted her head and looked thoughtful, so Miss Emerald answered her unasked question. “He’s talking about Princess Celestia.” He respected the Princess as a wise ruler, but he figured that running the madhouse more commonly known as the nobility for a few decades would drive anypony mad. And yet, for reasons beyond his comprehension, she permitted them to continue operating. Such games were probably an attempt to maintain her sanity. They started walking down the hallway, but before long Dr. Caballeron spotted a discolored patch ahead of them. He held out a hoof. “Wait. Do you see the pressure plate?” Emerald looked intently for a moment, then nodded. “I’ve got this.” She grinned and stepped forward until she was about four feet back from the plate, then forced it down with her magic. At this point Dr. Caballeron saw a faint line surrounding the party. “Wait!” he began, but with a click and then a rumble the pit trap began opening at an alarmingly swift rate. He barely had time to leap out of the way before he heard the startled sounds of the others falling. As he got back to his hooves he heard a thud, and when he turned back he saw that the pit was closed once more. He stepped on the plate, and the trapdoor opened again. “Is everypony alright down there?” “Yeah boss, I think so,” answered Biff. “Em? You good?” Dr. Caballeron leaned over to look down at them, and saw Biff and Derpy standing over Miss Emerald, who was huddled in one corner. “Just give me a few minutes,” she answered. “Miss Derpy, would you fly up here and help me find a way to release our friends?” Of course!” she replied, giving a quick salute before flying out of the pit and landing beside him. “Don’t worry guys, I’m sure we’ll find you a way out lickity split!” Dr. Caballeron stepped off the plate and the pit slammed shut once more. He turned and set off the way they had been going. “Come, we should look for a way down to the basement, since that’s where the trap led.” “Roger that!” “I must ask, you act like you’ve served in some sort of militant group, but you don’t seem like you have ever seen prolonged action. What was your past experience before you came here?” “Well, I’m a member of the E.U.P. reserves, and we haven’t been called into full service since the Griffon incursions of the eighth century.” “I see.” “Hey, Em? You okay?” Emerald sighed. She supposed that she had spent long enough recovering, and it was time to get up. “Yes, I am feeling much better. Thank you for waiting.” “Well, it’s not like we’re in a hurry. I’m pretty sure this trap was supposed to trap ponies, not hurt ‘em. Still… Think you can light it up?” Emerald simply lit her horn in response, revealing a small room with a wider bottom that slowly narrowed towards the top. There was some stray rubble on the ground, but nothing that looked like it would be helpful. “Indeed, it doesn’t seem to have anything dangerous… or anything much at all. I wonder if there’s another way to get ponies out or if they just got lifted up through the roof?” she responded. “That looks like a start,” Biff said, pointing at a hole to Emerald's side that she hadn’t noticed. “Could you step away a bit?” Emerald did so, and Biff put his hoof through. After a moment Emerald spoke up. “So, why is Dr. Caballeron going by a fake name?” Biff froze. “How did you… Um, what makes you say that?” “Well, his disguise isn’t very good, but the real giveaway was that he was hanging out with Daring Do, Ahuizotl, and yourself. And in case I was in doubt, you said that you were still working with him last time we met, and then you acted really shady when I asked about his whereabouts.” “I… You…” Biff shook his head. “Don’t tell him I slipped up, please? He wouldn’t like that at all.” “Okay. Could you answer my question?” Biff turned his attention back to the hole. “Sure. He’s got a few enemies that don’t know where he is, and he doesn’t want to make it easy on them now that he’s settling down.” “He really is planning on going straight?” “Well, he’s always planned on teaching or running a museum when he retired from treasure hunting. We figured that right after saving the world was a good time to go straight. He asked the princess for this castle, and after thinking it over she agreed.” There was a click and the wall spun around. Emerald barely managed to slip through with Biff. “Woah…” They were in a hallway dimly lit by a star-shaped gem set above the entrance with what appeared to be disembodied hooves carrying unlit stone torches. A quick glance told her there was another light on the other archway. She let her horn go dark and the room became infinitely more creepy. “I‘ve seen a lot of creepy things in ancient ruins, but pieces of ponies are still pretty high up there.” Emerald took a closer look at one of the hooves before feeling it. “They aren’t real. I think they used a wood base and covered it like a wig.” “Well that’s nice. What say we look for a staircase to meet up with the others?” “That sounds good.” Eventually Biff and Emerald made their way upstairs, but so far they still hadn’t seen any sign of the others. One of the rooms was a hallway lined with unpainted iron suits of armor. Emerald walked up to one and started examining it closely. “Fascinating… These aren’t golden, or the rich blues typical for Luna’s entourage. I wonder, did they just not color coordinate back then, or was there a special purpose for these?” “Hey Em! Look, there’s one missing up here,” Biff called, stepping onto the only one of the circular pedestals which didn’t hold a suit of armor. “Think it’s on purpose, or stolen?” “Why would it be on purpose?” Emerald asked. “Well, remember how the tapestry in the big hall spun around? Was there a similar tapestry on the other side?” “No. So you think it’s the same thing here?” Biff shook his head. “Honestly, I think it was stolen; probably for immediate use since they only took one.” At this moment they heard a long ominous note echoing through the castle. “What was-” Emerald began, but before she could finish Biff was suddenly spun about. He tried to keep track of what was happening, but by the time he stopped spinning all he could tell was that there had been multiple changes in direction. And also that he was falling. “Aaaaahhhh!” “So, we already checked the pit they fell in, and they didn’t wait for us where they were supposed to,” Derpy began her summary. Dr. Caballeron nodded. “Yes.” “Then we found a big creepy organ hooked up to something, but the only button we could figure out sprung a tiny bouncy stone.” “I do wish you hadn’t tried every trigger key. We should have waited until we could figure out what they did without activating them. After all, we only have to clear the way for the others to come in safely; we’re not doing a full evaluation of the castle ourselves.” Derpy lowered her head. “Sorry.” “Well, nothing appears to have gone wrong. Perhaps it revealed more secret passages.” Just then they rounded a corner and saw a huge library before them, with the books surprisingly untouched by the ravages of time. Dr. Caballeron walked up to one of the few books not on the shelves. “Curious.” He set his torch in a hole in one of the nearby rocks, then took his canteen out of his saddlebags, uncorked it, and held it over the book, before hesitating. “Um, Mister Martin? Shouldn’t we not spill water on books? That’s not very good for them.” “True, but I believe these books are magically protected from such things. Though, just in case…” He opened the book and flipped the title page, then dripped his canteen over a blank portion of the page. Just as he had suspected, the water all ran off without soaking into the book, eliciting a gasp from his companion. “Yes, as long as we don’t do anything truly rough with these books, they should last longer than you or I. Excellent. This site is shaping up to be even better than I could have hoped for.” Dr. Caballeron reached into his saddlebags and fished out his notebook. After making a few quick notes about the library he noticed Derpy’s eyes were tilted further off-center than usual and her muzzle was twisted in a frown of intense concentration. “What is it?” “I’m trying to decide whether to check all the books for hidden levers or not.” “That would take far too long. For now, let’s just tell the others not to touch the bookshelves and verify that the rest of the room is clear.” “Okay!” Derpy walked over to the nearest chair and tipped it over. “Hmm. Nope.” Dr. Caballeron started to ask her to be more careful with ancient artifacts, but then decided that they were probably warded like the books. In fact, copious warding was probably why anything but the framework was still standing on the upper levels. When she tipped over the second chair it stopped halfway through, and a low rumbling began. “Found it!” Finally, a bookshelf slid to the side, revealing a doorway leading into darkness. Dr. Caballeron opened his mouth, blinked, closed it, blinked again, then opened it once more. “How did you know that one of the chairs had a hidden lever?” “Emerald shared Mysteries Consolidated with me. Shutterstock and Shaggy are always triggering secret passages by leaning back on chairs.” “I… see.” Shaking his head, he picked up his torch and stepped into the threshold. Inside it appeared to be a private reading room, with two stained glass windows, one themed for the sun and the other of the moon. In the center was a book on a pedestal, practically screaming ‘Trap! Just try to take me, you chumps!’. He approached the pedestal slowly, circling it as he tried to figure out how the trap worked. He couldn’t find any sign of a mechanical trap, so he figured that it must be magical in nature. He was about to move on and leave it be when he saw the title, The Journal of the Two Sisters. “This book might be of service to us in uncovering the traps, but I suspect that it is trapped itself. Do you have any way to retrieve it without touching it?” “No sir.” “Very well. Hold this steady.” He stepped back into the library and hoofed the torch over to Derpy, then grabbed a small rock. He tossed it in place to get a feel for its weight, then judged the distance from his position just outside the threshold to the pedestal. Taking careful aim he threw the rock at the book as hard as he could. It smacked the journal right in the middle of the bottom side, causing it to slide off and land on the floor. They both tensed, but after several seconds nothing happened. He walked up and grabbed the book, then returned to the table to study it for clues. Emerald was feeling conflicted. On the one hoof, she had been separated from her friend and their guide, then separated from the only one who had been left with her; and was now alone in a castle that made little to no sense, lost and also starting to feel rather frightened. On the other hoof, she was trying to live out an adventure story, and this was quite possibly the most fun she had ever had in real life since she was a filly. She knew that the castle had many traps, but ever since finding out that the pit trap had a way out from the inside she had started to realize that they weren’t made to kill -or even injure- anypony. They were almost like… “If a little kid had decided to play at this stuff.” Emerald had assumed that The Royal Sisters had been fully grown mares when they moved here, but what if they were still growing? It would help to explain so much of the inconsistencies in the castle. Eventually she started to hear voices from up ahead. First, Dr. Caballeron’s smooth one. “Yes, I am sure they’re fresh. The reason I’m worried is because they shouldn’t be.” Followed by Derpy’s ever-cheerful one. “Maybe they’re protected like the books?” Emerald stepped into a library, and saw a passageway from which the voices came. “That is certainly how, but who would put such a powerful protective enchantment on food? Minor ones I have seen many times, but never enough to last more than a year or so.” As Emerald stepped into the secluded room the others both turned away from the bowl of -sure enough- fresh carrots, and faced her. “Hi guys.” “Miss Emerald, I was under the impression that you and my associate would wait for us in, or at least near, the pit. We located the exit an hour ago, and you were both gone. On that note, where is Biff?” “He was taken somewhere by a spinning wall, about the time that the organ started playing,” Emerald answered. Dr. Caballeron looked at Derpy, who scrunched her muzzle and began a spontaneous inspection of the ceiling. “I see. And where was this?” “In a hall lined with suits of armor.” Dr. Caballeron nodded. “Well then, I believe it is time for us to head back to camp. Follow me.” We walked past Emerald, leaving her and Derpy to follow behind. “What about Biff?” Derpy asked. “We can’t leave him lost in the castle without even knowing that we’re going.” Emerald agreed, but as she opened her mouth to voice her support, they reached a ledge overlooking the grand hall, and saw a terrifying monster. It was only about the size of a pony, but that was where the similarities ended. It was a heap of tangled vines and dripping slime, with large circular leaves dotted around its body. Slowly, inexorably, it inched its way toward them like a giant leafy slug. “What is that!?” Emerald shrieked. Dr. Cabbaleron tutted and shook his head. “Miss Emerald, that is no way to speak of a colleague who has fallen on hard times. That is Biff, coated by what appear to be water lilies, pond scum, and vines.”