Navigating the cosmos, a spaceship cut through the void like a knife through butter, maneuvering around a gas giant and speeding through the rings of a planetoid.
The Benatar.
Inside, the spaceship was a colorful display of light and sound, as a disco ball hanging from the ceiling lit up the air, while music blared from speakers installed on either side.
A bit of rock music from the Earth, upbeat and fast-paced. Which fit in perfectly with "The Guardians of the Galaxy". They were an odd bunch, no doubt.
A hybrid Human-Celestial outlaw.
A man who was considered "The Deadliest Man in the Galaxy"
A ruthless and vengeful ex-assassin.
A former servant of a Celestial.
A former professional thief.
And his little helper dragon.
Yes, they were a strange group, but for Sunny Starscout… they were a family. Especially after all he went through with his late mother.
“Sing, Pipp!” Sunny said, as she danced to the song.
Joyfully, Sunny sang while Pipp Petals was asleep. And to her delight, Hitch Trailbrazer was even nodding his head and lip-synching to the music, showing that he was finally beginning to relax and match his girlfriend's musical tastes.
Sparky Sparkeroni was busy playing an old 80s console while Izzy Moonbow adjusted the ship's coordinates and Zipp Storm yawned briefly, sounding bored.
"Why do you say we do this?" Zipp asked.
"It's a distress signal" Hitch replied, shooting him a look "Someone could be in danger".
“I get that, but… why do we do it?” Zipp answered.
“Because we're cool” Sunny interjected, before rubbing her hands together to indicate money “And maybe they'll give us a little money for our efforts”.
Zipp certainly approved of it, but Hitch did not.
"That's not the point" Hitch grumbled.
"That's not the point..." Sunny said "But... If the guy doesn't pay..."
"We're keeping his ship" Pipp said, revealing that he had already woken up from his nap.
"Exact!" Zipp said.
“Bbb-bingo!” Sunny said.
At that moment, Izzy noticed something on the ship's monitor.
“We are arriving at our destination”.
"Alright, Guardians…" Sunny agreed "This could be dangerous, so let's put on a bad face..."
Looking back, Sunny saw that Sparky was still playing his video game.
“Sparky, drop the console. I don't have to repeat it…” Sunny ordered “Sparky!”.
"I am Sparky..." Sparky replied, mockingly.
His translation was something that... the other crew members of the ship did not like
"Wow!"
“That language!”
"Hey!"
"Wow..."
"You've got them big, little one..." Sunny said, annoyed.
"Ever since you've been that size, you've become a complete asshole" Zipp said, before pointing to Sparky's video game "And af you keep it up, I'll tear that thing apart!"
Sparky rolls his eyes.
Finally, the ship came out of hyperspace, and the only thing that everyone saw was… devastation.
Whatever it was, it was a large ship, but it blew itself apart, as if flying through an asteroid field of broken metal and flying debris.
And uncomfortably, more than a few frozen corpses drifting through the void of space.
"What happened here?" asked Izzy, scared
“My God…” Sunny said.
“Looks like they're not going to pay us…” Zipp said.
Suddenly, with a bang, one of the bodies slammed into the viewing window of the bridge.
It was Rainbow Dash!
“AAAH! Wipers! Wipers!" Zipp yelled, waving his hands "Get it out!"
Then, something extraordinary and terrifying happened at the same time: Rainbow Dash's only remaining magenta eye… burst open.
She was still alive...
Moments later, they all dropped Rainbow Dash's body on the center table of what Sunny called her living room.
"But how can this girl still be alive?"
"She's not a girl. You're a girl…” Pipp said, amazed by Rainbow Dash's body “She… is a woman. She is a beautiful, muscular woman”.
“I'm muscular” Sunny said.
“Don't lie, Starscout” Zipp replied “You're one sandwich away from being fat”.
"Yeah, sure..." Sunny said, not believing her friend's comment.
"It's true" Pipp said, pointing to her chin and belly "You've gained a bit of weight".
"What?" Sunny said in surprise, before looking at her boyfriend "Hitch, do you think that...?"
But before she could finish the sentence, Izzy used her empathic powers to analyze Rainbow Dash's mind.
“She is anxious. Furious” Izzy explained, in a scared tone “She feels a great loss… and guilt”.
"It's like a pirate had a daughter with an angel..." Pipp said, still fascinated.
"Wow. This is a wake-up call” Sunny said, still thinking about what her friends said “Okay. I'll buy a Bowflex. I'll take it seriously. And some dumbbells…”.
"You do know that dumbbells aren't eaten, right?" Zipp said.
Moving closer, Hitch studied Rainbow Dash's arms.
"Her muscles of hers look like they're made of Cotati metallic fiber..."
“Stop massaging her muscles” Sunny said annoyed, before looking at Izzy “Wake her up”.
Izzy nodded, slowly placing her hand on Rainbow Dash's forehead.
"Wake up".
Seconds later, Rainbow Dash woke up with a start, scaring Izzy. And after recovering, she looked at her saviors.
“Who are you, guys?”
Explanations followed, together with presentations, Hitch explained the worst of it all. The fact that the Father of Monsters was looking for the Infinity Stones and had just stolen one from the Queen of Asgard.
"Ever since I've known Grogar, he's only had one goal: to bring balance to the Universe, eliminating half of its beings" Hitch explained "He killed people... from planet to planet, massacre by massacre..."
"Including mine..." Pipp said, gruffly.
The painful memory of losing her parents still weighed on her heavily.
“If he gets all six Infinity Stones, he'll be able to do it with just one snap…” Hitch agreed, snapping his fingers to prove it.
Hunched in a corner, blowing on some hot soup to cool it down, Rainbow Dash looked at Hitch suspiciously.
"You seem to know a lot about Grogar" she commented, hoping to sound casual.
If they were going to play some game of half-truths and lies, Pipp put an end to it at once.
Blunt as a hammer, she translated it into the former ruler of Asgard.
"Hitch... is the son of Grogar".
And then the entire ship went… deadly silent.
"Your father killed my sister" Rainbow Dash replied angrily.
Then, Rainbow took off the blanket that she was wearing and angrily advanced towards Hitch.
“Oh wow…” Zipp said.
"Now he's his Stepfather" Sunny said, interjecting "And he hates him just as much as you do..."
Hearing that, Rainbow let go of all her anger… and sighed sadly, placing her hand on Hitch's shoulder.
“There are complicated families... Before he died, my father told me that he had another step-sister... whom he imprisoned in Hel. Then, she return home and stabbed me in her eye, so I had to kill her. But that's life, right?. It goes round and round and…” Rainbow explained. “I feel your sorrow”.
“And I also feel your sorrow. Because… it's not a competition, but I've been through a lot too” Sunny said “My mother killed my father and I had to kill my mother. That was tough. Perhaps tougher than killing a sister. Also, I keep both eyes, which-”.
But Rainbow Dash wasn't paying attention to Sunny, as an idea came to her mind.
"I need a hammer, not a spoon…" Rainbow Dash said, before heading to the area where the ship's escape pod was parked "How do I open this thing? Is there some kind of a four-digit code? Maybe... a date of birth or something like that..."
"What are you doing?" Zipp asked doubtfully.
"I'm going to take your capsule".
“Nothing about that!” Sunny said, as she mimicked Rainbow Dash's accent "You're… not taking our capsule today, miss".
The others thought it was... a little weird.
"Starscout... Are you making a weird voice?" Zipp asked.
"No"
"You're doing it. You're imitating the woman-goddess” Pipp said “That's weird”.
"Not true!" Sunny said.
"She just did it again!" Izzy gasped.
"This is my voice!" Sunny yelled.
Just then, Rainbow walks up to Sunny, looking annoyed.
"Are you making fun of me?" Rainbow asks.
"Are you making fun of me?"
"You just did it again".
“She is trying to copy me...”
“Enough already! We have to stop Grogar” Hitch yelled, fed up with the situation “We have to find out where he is going next”.
"To Knowhere" Rainbow Dash muttered, as she headed for the ship's fridge.
"That sounds great" Izzy said, having no idea what Rainbow Dash was talking about.
"No. To Knowhere?” Sunny asked, remembering that her last experience there was not great. “It's a space station. We have been there. That place stinks".
Knowhere was not a well-known destination, though the Guardians had been there before: a massive space station, created inside the severed head of a Celestial, which slowly became home to smugglers and dirty businesses.
"Excuse me, that's our food" Sunny said annoyed, as she watched Rainbow Dash rummage through the food in the fridge.
“Not anymore”.
"Rainbow Dash... Why is he going to Knowhere?" Hitch asked
"Because for years, the Reality Stone has been there safely with a man named... the Collector".
Hearing that, Sunny winced, knowing who Rainbow Dash was referring to.
“Well that's not safe now...” Sunny said “Only an idiot would give a Stone to that man”.
“Or a genius” Rainbow Dash replied.
"How do you know he's not going after one of the other Stones?" Hitch demanded.
“There's six Stones out there. Grogar already has the Power Stone because he stole it last week, when he decimated Xandar” Rainbow Dash explained, as she rolled her eyes “And he stole the Space Stone from me, when he destroyed my ship and massacred half my people. The Mind and Time Stones are safe with the Avengers".
"The Avengers?" Sunny asked.
"Uh, the heroes of Earth…" Rainbow Dash clarified.
"Like Kevin Bacon?" Izzy asked, remembering a person Sunny had once told her about.
“He might be on the team. I haven't been there in a long time...” Rainbow Dash explained, shrugging her shoulders “And as for the Soul Stone, no one has ever seen it… nor does it know where it is. Therefore, Grogar can't get it, so he goes to Knowhere. So, he's going to get the Reality Stone. You're welcome".
"Well, we have to go to Knowhere now" Hitch said.
"No" Rainbow Dash corrected "Where we have to go... is Nidavellir".
"That word is made up" Pipp said, doubtfully.
"They all are" Rainbow Dash said.
“Nidavellir is real!? Seriously? That place is a legend” Zipp said, with a big smile on his face “There are made the most terrifying weapons that have ever tormented the Universe. I would really like to be able to go".
“It is clear that she is much smarter than all of you. Only Celaneo can make me the weapon I need" Rainbow Dash said, before pointing at Zipp "I take it you're the captain?"
“You are very perceptive”.
“You seem like a noble leader. Do you want to accompany me to Nidavellir?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Hmm, I'll ask the captain...” Zipp said “Wait a second, it's me! Yes, I'll go".
"Magnificent".
"I'm the captain" Sunny clarified, indicating that she was still upset.
"Starscout, sit down" Zipp ordered.
“Look, this is MY ship. And I'm not going to…" Sunny yelled at Rainbow Dash, before realizing something "Wait, what kind of weapon are we talking about?"
"Of those who kill Grogar".
"And shouldn't we have a weapon like that?" Sunny asked, as she pointed to her group.
"No. All of you don't have enough strength to wield them" Rainbow Dash explained "Your bodies would crumble".
“Is it weird that I feel like going more?” Zipp asked, still smiling.
"A little, yes…" Rainbow replied.
"If we don't go to Knowhere and Grogar retrieves another Stone, he will be too powerful to stop it" Hitch mused.
"He already is" Rainbow Dash reminded them, not eager for another fight against that monster.
“I have the solution: we have two ships and a large assortment of assholes” Zipp explained, pointing to everyone “So Sparky and I are going with the pirate angel… and the assholes are going to Knowhere to try and stop Grogar. Cool? Cool”.
"Very cool" Rainbow Dash said, agreeing with Zipp.
Rainbow Dash started to climb into the capsule of the ship.
"Just so you know..." Sunny whispered to Zipp "I know you only go with her because that's where Grogar isn't".
"You know, you shouldn't talk like that to your captain, Starscout..." Zipp said, as she entered the capsule with Sparky “Come on, Sparky. And leave that game, your brain will rot".
With her three passengers aboard the capsule, Rainbow bid her saviors farewell.
“Good luck and have a good trip, assholes. Goodbye".
With that, the three of them departed in the pod, leaving the rest of the Guardians dumbfounded.
What the hell had just happened?