//------------------------------//
// 2: Back Ache 
// Story: Discord's Golden Zipper 
// by Appleody 
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Welp, that was a very uneventful night. Or, it might as well have been for all one particular alicorn knew. The regal mare in question, being sound asleep almost the moment her work was completed. That was the first thing Celestia thought about, as her heavy eyes drifted open, bringing a pleasant smile to her face.

An almost free day, she happily thought, as one of her hooves started pulling the heavy covers over her head. A content sigh escaping her lips. The work she’d done last night, was enough to put her troubles at ease for days to come. In future, she’d have to ensure she kept on top of all that boring but vital paperwork, then there could be more days like this. The work in question had made her so tired, she barely even remembered getting into bed. She half dreamed that Discord had tucked her in. If he had, she’d have to thank him. That desk could have left her awfully sore. 

As her heavy head was about to fully disappear behind her blissful protection, Sunny’s yellow tinted eyes glanced at her clock. “Uh, 6:30… Sunrise is coming,” she allowed herself to complain. Nopony was around, so there was no reason to keep up the usual regal act. It seems, despite all her earlier work, the noble sun would still have to rouse. Ponies would surely panic if the sun rose even a second too late. Everypony knows the sun rises at exactly 07:20.

With that mood souring thought in mind, Celestia’s horn glittered with golden light, before her duvet pulled back to reveal her alabaster form. The light having the slightest glint off of an impossibly thin strip of metal, mostly hidden beneath the soft white fur of her back.

Rolling onto her front, the alicorn stretched out her forelegs and raised her royal rear in the usual morning stretch. A pleasant yawn escaping, as a few expected cricks came from her steadily waking body. With the warranted stretch complete, Celestia got to her haunches, while lightly smacking her lips. Looking across the room she suppressed a sigh, before gracefully stepping down from her luxurious bed.

The moment her right forehoof touched the soft carpet, the princess’s brow furrowed ever so slightly. That feels a little strange, she thought as her rear hooves joined her fore. Somehow the purple carpet felt much softer than expected, but only for that one hoof. How could that be possible? 

Intrigued, Celestia lifted the offending hoof and flipped it over so she could gaze at its frog. What she saw was quite unusual. Hidden within said frog, was a number of bumps that weren’t there previously. At least, the sun was pretty sure they weren’t there before, everypony knows their own hooves’ frogs like well, the frog of their hoof. What was truly bizarre was how they appeared to be arranged like that of a cat’s paw pads. When her left forehoof poked them, they felt like her usual hoof, but simultaneously, somehow softer. The rubbing must have been a little ticklish, as her limb promptly flicked out of her grip, before a mild shudder raced up her spine. It was a strange sensation, seeing as it was always incredibly difficult for a pony to tickle themselves at the best of times.

Deciding to pay the occurrence no mind, Celestia began happily making her way towards her wash room, in order to continue the morning routine. After taking a number of steady steps, the mare started to notice a strange sluggishness to her limbs. It was almost like they were somehow heavier than usual, similar to walking in a swimming pool.  Strange, I do not feel tired. Maybe another check is in order? Sunny thought to herself, as her long neck swung around to look at a small, inconspicuous set of scales in the room’s corner. Hopefully, the tired alicorn would feel lighter, once she proved her diet was starting to work. At a minimum, it would certainly be a weight off of her mind. 

Making her way towards the small contraption, her tail unusually dragging behind her, the lethargic alicorn stepped forth onto the scales. Seeing as the only scales Celestia could acquire were meant for a normal sized pony, she had to place all four of her hooves really close together, while arching her back into the air like that of a cat. This was fine as nopony could see her, but it did result in her head being pressed very close to the dial. A dial that spun around much faster than she expected with quite an audible racket, causing her lidded eyes to widen. 

“You can stop now,” Sunny pleaded, as it shot passed her goal weight of 100kgs and kept climbing. Her buttery eyes might have become dinner plates if her moulded skull would let them. Instead, they only bulged slightly at the unwelcome truth. “Two hundred,” she almost cried, “how could it have gone so wrong?” Falling backwards off the device, she eyed a suspicious offender laying innocently half eaten upon her desk. Discord’s midnight cake.

That’s it, no more midnight snacks, she resolved to herself, gaining a determined look. Turning to her bathroom, she took the time to flip over her taunter with a rear hoof, in order to ensure it was more favourable next time. A smile started to grace her lips at the thought that her weight was no longer being judged by the inanimate object. 

Upon reaching the overly ornate sink, Celestia peered at her usually regal reflection, as we all do in morning. Her form appeared as awake as she felt. All except for one tell-tale feature, the eyes. They weren’t quite fully open. Not just that, but they seemed so off coloured, almost sickly in fact. “Oh pony, maybe that was a little too much last night,” Sunny judged, as her padded hoof rubbed down her face, pulling a tired eyelid open as it went. “Ah, I am sure I will bounce back,” Sunny optimistically said, as her hoof let the lid spring back into place. Being so productive would be worth it, she was certain. A quick scrub of her facial fur didn’t quite improve the sleepy look, but it at least made the alicorn feel a little refreshed.

Moving onto her perfect horsey teeth, Celestia picked up a sun marked toothbrush and began the next step of her daily hygiene ritual. The brushing of teeth for those unfamiliar with the tool. Inserting the tool in question into her mouth, she began attempting to expertly remove whatever plaque had dared invade the mouth of the sun. That’s a place nothing should ever go without Celestia’s express permission.

Anyway, the session of tooth brushing started out fine, as expected, but deteriorated fast. Not like tooth lost fast, but in increasing difficulty fast. This unexpected spike in difficulty was there from the start, as once the brush moved over the sun’s incisors, her jaw became more and more difficult to keep open. Unconsciously the sun fought against this force, happily going about her routine, as her body attempted to reject the intruder.

This resistance finally came to a head, right as the gentle brush reached the yet to be cleaned molars near the back of her jaw. This was where her mouth decided, of its own accord, the best thing to do to dissuade its aggressor, was to bite. Not only to bite, but to chew. A little perturbed, the sun found herself unable to stop, as her teeth continually attempted to grind her golden toothbrush into nothing. In an effort to save the implement, she instinctively tried to pull it out, but her gnashing teeth had other plans, continuing to gnaw and grip the end heedless of their owners desire. Eventually, when the intruder was defeated, her uncooperative mouth unceremoniously spat out the tool into the sink, where Celestia began inspecting it. All the while, her lips smacked victoriously, before visibly loosening up. 

A mild feeling of relief flooded through her, as the tool was completely undamaged. Seeing as it was made for the immortal sun over a millennia ago, it was built to outlast something like a mild chew from a hungry herbivore. “The sooner breakfast comes, the better,” Celestia idly said, before going for a second attempt. This time, almost completely locking her jaw open with a golden aura of magic, in order to ensure the brush did its work unmolested.

The second round of fighting with her hungry mouth was going to be a little more one-sided. The same issue once again presented itself again, but the sun persevered with the brushing, as her jaw struggled not to clamp down. The alabaster lips curled up with a mild smile, at the eccentric victory over herself. A victory her mouth did not want to give easily. 

The second battle was not yet decided, as not all of the orifice’s tools had been disarmed. It still had one defender that would not give in. That being her tongue, which poked and prodded the brush every hoofstep of the way. It was making a real nuisance of itself in its attempt to push out the invader, but wasn’t quite strong enough to fully halt its advance. It merely slowed the brush down as it capitulated tooth after tooth to the cleaning onslaught. 

When the brushing was completed, Celestia removed the brush, to the obvious welcome desire of her mouth. As she did so, her rogue muscle tried its best to assist. It pushed the brush as hard as it could and even went so far as to follow it a good way out from the sun’s large mouth. Thus, ensuring the attacker would not return. Sunny only noticed this fact, as she absently tried to close her mouth and found the appendage sticking out from between her lips. It wasn’t just stretching out a little way either. Her tongue was stretched out a good four hooves in front of her, pointing glaringly at her tooth brush.

“Wa, hpenin?” she asked nopony in particular, her words skewed by the lack of aid from the flailing tongue. Seeming to somehow sense its work was done, the appendage slithered backwards like that of a serpent. Back to where it began, all the while, the enraptured sun watched in fascination. As it finally disappeared between her lips with a light pop, she easily opened the now cooperating opening to see the wannabee snake behaving normally. She even stuck it out at her reflection. The appendage only going so far as was to be expected from that of a pony of Celestia’s size. Barely half a hoof.

“I really need to arrange for more rest,” Celestia contemplated, as she set about the next daily hygiene task, her usual wing preening. Still seated at the sink, she attempted to extend her majestic wings to begin. The word attempted was an apt description, as her wings only seemed to slightly unfurl at the gentle command. 

Moving a foreleg out of the way, the alicorn looked down at her latest uncooperative appendages, as they once again reclasped to her sides. The strange thing about how they were furled, was how they were slightly stretched out going under her chest. It was almost like Celestia was trying to tenderly hug herself from behind, an action which she most certainly wasn’t. 

Using her forehooves, she was able to pry off the over affectionate limbs, which became much more agreeable once they were off her barrel. They even moved to the previously unhelpful mouth, ready for preening without any fuss. The idea that her own wings might not assist her was a funny thought to the alicorn, as she opened her mouth ready to preen. A last-minute remembrance of the toothbrush incident gave Celestia pause. What if I eat my wings? She thought, before shaking her head at the silly suggestion. Why on Equus would anypony do such a thing? 

Luckily for Celestia, her mouth did in fact choose not to chew her angelic feathers, allowing her to align most of them as expertly as any other day. At times, the once wayward tongue did get a little stuck on a few of the feathers, causing a few to misalign in an almost chaotic pattern, but you’d never notice unless you went over them with a fine-toothed comb. Celestia certainly didn’t, as she gave her wings a nice flap, leaving the alicorn satisfied with her work, before folding them up in the correct manner.

Her golden magic moved over to the next item on the agenda, the ancient’s favourite hairbrush. One so luxurious, that it barely contained a single hair. Running it through the aurora mane was as pleasant an experience as it always was, rapidly switching the immortal’s mane from that of a rainbow pony’s, to that of an elegant princess. She even whispered, “keep going, that’s nice,” to herself as she finished up.

With her mane back to its usual state, granting Celestia her powerful visage, she moved onto her tail, which was still spread upon the ground. Picking up the unusually lifeless hair with golden magic, the Sun began running her brush through the most tangle infested hair she had ever experienced in her entire long life. It was almost like the mop had become completely woven down its centre, creating a sort of core of thick hair. A core that the brush, despite its impeccable design, couldn’t quite penetrate.

Note to self, do not sit in a chair for six hours again, Celestia ensured she remembered, before trying to brush with a bit more vigour. With this attempt, her tail kept trying to squirrel away out of her magical grip. Having such a magical flowing tail can be a real pain sometimes. Despite these ineffectual attempts for the mats to escape retribution, the brush eventually sank in, causing Sunny’s rear left leg to unexpectedly kick out. 

Her hoof only struck air, but the unexpected force behind such a bizarre action, caused the sun to slip and fall flat onto her rear. “Mats for days,” Celestia uttered under her breath, as she continued working to the periodic attempts of her rear legs to kick some imagined hoovsy pony. Pony reflexes can be really irritating sometimes. 

With her tail finally resembling something of its usual floating aurora, completely hiding what was left of the mats within, Celestia went ahead with her remaining hygiene tasks. Thankfully, there were no issues with the remainder of these. That would probably have gotten quite messy.

Finally leaving the travesty that would be repeated to no one, the royal collected her regalia from where she’d haphazardly dropped it the night before. The metallic shoes had gotten a bit uncomfortable while she was working, so seeing as nopony was going to enter, she’d tossed them aside. Looking at them now, she internally wished she didn’t need to wear them. A nice set of comfortable slippers, with a warming dressing gown would be much nicer. Not having on any clothes made the alicorn feel a little naked. An experience she didn’t much enjoy. Unlike the majority of her subjects, who liked to be free.

Knowing that to wear anything else would be frowned upon, the sun placed her chest piece over her head, while positioning her shoes upon the ground ready to step in. In one smooth practiced motion, Celestia stepped forward, regally sliding both forehooves into her foreshoes no issue without even looking. However, the same could not be said for her rear set. Her right hoof getting caught on something, before the shoe went pinging off, while her left, flat out kicked the shoe out of the way. Appearing more like a klutz than any alicorn previous. Besides Twilight anyway, but that was part of her charm.

A light, “hmm,” escaped her, before she decided to pony handle her shoes, and attempted to push them over her hooves like a young earth pony. Something that proved impossible. “These cannot have shrunk in the wash,” she joked trying to make light of the irritation the morning was bringing. Her shoes were metal after all. 

After inspecting both shoes for defects and finding none, her yellow tinted eyes absently moved over to her usually pristine hooves. A gasp escaped the Sun’s lips, before it was instinctively hidden. Now that is one swollen hoof. Her eyes then travelled to her right where two noticeable bumps protruded. Clearly, they were what her shoe caught on.

Finally, a horrifying thought came to the alicorn’s brain. Could she be ill? What a travesty that would be. If anypony found out, it’d potentially leave the entire nation paralyzed. Not only that, but the neighbours might seek to profit from her absence. Finally, and worst of all, Celestia’s subjects would most likely force her to spend the entirety of her hard-earned day off in bed. 

“No thanks,” the mare said with newfound determination. Her buttery eyes now laser focused on the slightly spiked hoof. Using the already shoed forehooves to test, she pressed down on her new found imperfection and found that it gently compressed until it met her hoofs usual size. When she let go, it almost seemed to push outwards like fabric, instead of where solid keratin should be.

Seeing this, the alicorn once again lit her powerful horn and surrounded the bumps with her aura. Now surrounded, she began pushing the bumps back down, the strange feeling that she was folding something up pervading her magic. A bought of laughter escaped her throat at her actions, similarly to when she prodded her newly padded forehoof. It didn’t quite feel ticklish in the same way, as whatever she was gripping shook, it seemed to somehow rub against the inside of her frog. This caused a strange reverb of two sets of laughter to escape. 

Being that Celestia was the all-powerful protector of Equestria, she had dealt with worse tortures than this. Using the retraction of the bumps to her advantage, she slid her shoe into its rightful place, before letting her magic drop. Immediately, the strange movement from within her hoof attempted to fold out, but was stopped from surfacing by the metal of her shoe. It then seemed to clench and unclench a few times, kind of like how a griffon or dragon may clench a claw. Whatever it felt like, it was completely alien to the sun, who tried to shake the limb to end the unusual sensation.

It did lessen overtime, when the bumps decided to finally make do with confinement and rest against the metal, likely locking the shoe in place for the rest of the day. With that over with, Celestia was finally able to focus on her last remaining shoeless hoof. What an endeavour it is to put clothes on, eh?

Anyway, looking over to the final unshod hoof, it almost appeared to have enlarged somehow. Not only that, but Celestia could swear it looked like that of a cloven hoof you might see upon a graceful deer. A melancholic smile graced her lips at its presence. The unicorns of old once had cloven hooves, they even ran like deer. How elegant they were before those traits were lost. Still, it was worth it for the tribes to intermingle. 

Pushing the memories of times past aside, Celestia had only one real option when it came to donning the shoe. She had to resize it with her magic. Not only that, but to ensure it would fit snuggly, she had to reshape the internals for that of her new cloven design, while simultaneously trying her best to hide any changes from her ponies. The spell was a complete success, and actually led to an increase in comfort compared to her other shoes. For a moment, she actually debated on looking for some transformation magic for her other regular hooves. She wouldn’t need slippers if they could all fit as snuggly as that.

Choosing to latch onto the positive thought, Celestia looked over her now shoed hooves and victoriously said, “ha, a magical malady cannot beat the sun!” She actually felt quite proud at managing to shoe herself. Something she’d mastered at the age of three. 

Sensing a familiar call from her sun, the sun’s embodiment moved to her balcony as the moon began to descend. Her sister was quite literally on the celestial ball, as usual. Lighting her own horn with her incredible astral powers, Celestia called upon the faithful sun to rise. The ball of incomprehensible fire, obeyed its princess and began making its way into the sky, where Celestia watched.

Well, she attempted to watch, for the moment the light hit her tired eyes, one of her forehooves rose to block the view. A muffled, “too early” came from between her lips as the light unusually assaulted her senses. Seeing this as part of the sickness, Celestia forced her hoof away from her face, where it hovered in front of the steadily rising sun.

As she once again could witness her ward, a strange occurrence began. A strange resistance trying to push the sun back down. What could possibly do that? Who would do that? Celestia thought as she continued to gaze at the struggling orb. From her perspective, her hoof appeared to rest atop the sun. It even seemed to be pulled upwards along with its ascent. With that observation, Sunny realized what was somehow happening, but there wasn’t much she could do about it. Her hoof had somehow firmly gripped the sun with what felt like talons. Talons she couldn’t loosen. 

For everypony watching the sunrise, it appeared like the sun was shaking slightly, as it struggled upwards into its ordained position. Luna’s moon had long since set at this point, leaving its ward to watch her sister’s sunrise like usual. Seeing as the younger alicorn could see the glaring issue, Luna started to feel a little sorry for her sister’s clear fatigue, and decided to lend Celestia some assistance from her own balcony.

The moment Celestia sensed her sister’s magic coming to her aid, the sun started to rise at a rapid pace, pulling the alabaster pegacorn to her rear hooves. By the time the sun left her field of vision, she was standing almost perfectly upright, dangling from her left forehoof, which adamantly refused to let go. Its disappearance from view, suddenly deprived the sun of her claw hold, leaving her to balance upon her own rear legs. Obviously, seeing that she’s a quadruped, Celestia promptly fell from her full height the second the unnatural support was lost, returning the pony to all fours. 

“Honestly, what has gotten into me today?” she mused, as she thought about her sickness. It had been well over a thousand years since anything similarly strange had occurred. That was when it hit the alicorn. It was obvious what was happening to her! Diluted poison joke, there’s no other explanation. Oh sister, you thought I would not notice, she thought with a smile. The alicorn sisters had a real penchant for pranks when they were young, and one of Luna’s favourites was to use a mild form of the cursing plant. Clearly, this was meant to be the start of today’s fun. Or maybe, Luna realized who was really behind the decaffeinated coffee incident? It’s hard to tell with these things.

Looking over to the clock, Celestia observed it was 07:30. Time for breakfast with said prankster. Ah, a full day with Luna. Plenty of time to get her back for this, she thought with a happy sigh. Getting to her now hidden mismatched hooves, Celestia began heading out of her private bedroom to meet the mischievous moon. A few ideas on how to get Luna back for her irritating awakening, circling her brain. Maybe Discord would be willing to help? He likes a good prank or two.