Three weeks.
Three long weeks.
With the ever-growing moans of my wife, I looked at her belly to see it illuminated a little more with her birthing process. It pained me to see her in such a state as different doctors tended to her throughout.
“Are you paying attention Joseph?” asked the doctor, who apparently talking to me. To be honest I usually don’t pay attention the first time when I get called. A trait that I hope my future son would never have.
“I’m sorry could you repeat that?” I asked
Dr. Everhoof pushed up his glasses. “I said, the person who just came to the front desk said she came straight from Canterlot, after receiving a first-class letter about you, Joe. She even asked for you by name.”
“Twilight? Finally!” I breathed “Finally, she came!”
“Twilight Sparkle you mean?” The doctor asked. “She… was not the one who asked for you by name.”
“What do you mean? If she didn't come herself, does that mean she sent somepony else??”
“Sir, please understand,” began the Doctor “Twilight is the princess of all Equestria now. Last I heard she had a scheduled meeting with Applejack.”
“What in Equus for?”
“I do not know. It is not my job to know what the princess is doing every day. Perhaps if you ask a pony whose job it is to know what her movements are… say one of her royal guards… Why don’t you ask one of them? Better yet, why not go to Canterlot instead of hindering my work!”
I thought about this while the doctor scurries to aid another pony. On the one hoof, going to Canterlot and delivering that letter would have probably gone faster if I delivered it personally, I thought. But I suppose the royal guard would not just tell me where a princess would be for security reasons. I went to see the replacement pony who would be the answer to all my questions. As I reentered the waiting room, I found it filled with various ponies waiting their turns to see the doctor
Am I really all that different? I asked myself, gazing over the room. How is thinking about my wife's glowing stomach any different from the viewpoint of the headaches or sprains these other ponies'? What gives me the right to be more concerned than some poor pony with some condition bad enough to end up here?” my thoughts were interrupted by a tap on the shoulder.
“Hey, Joe,” a female voice said, “you're doing that thing again.”
I turned around to see who it is. Before me was Starlight Glimmer wearing an alicorn pin on a royal cape. While Twilight would have been the better Pony to see, a familiar face that Twilight trusted as her personal student was still quite welcome.
“I heard Twilight is busy,” I said, sharing my thoughts. “And she may be busy but thankfully not stupid.” I put my hoof over my mouth as I said this and gasped. “Not to say that I think Twilight is stupid most of the time…” I blurted, still not salvaging this situation “I mean! I don’t think she is stupid at all!”
“Joseph, calm down,” said Starlight, putting her hoof over my mane in reassurance. “You are obviously redder than you normally are. Why not take a few deep breaths while I tell you what's been happening these last few weeks? Give you something else for you to think about for a while?”
“But my wife! She's in pain! Would you be so heartless?” I put my hoof over my mouth again. Why am I being so hostile? Maybe I do need a few breaths, I thought and proceeded to do so. Spotting a nearby water cooler, I darted over to it for a drink.
“There you go… just breathe,” she said. “Twilight is currently meeting with her friends along with Celestia and Luna.They’re having a very important discussion about two very old ponies.”
“If thats a joke to imply about Celestia's age, thats not funny,” I said taking a sip of water.
“I think it's more about the parents of Applejack.”
“They are dead though,” I said, drinking the last of the water
“You…. would think…” started Starlight
I spit out the water in shock. “Sweet Celestia! You don’t mean to imply that they are alive?
“I saw a pear and an apple Cutie Mark on their flanks as they came in with that other Purple pony .”
I shake my head, “And your sure they’re not changelings?”
“As soon as I left they were talking about space or celestial asteroids or something. Twilight did read your letter, but she wanted me to tell you that she had a bigger mystery to solve. So she sent me in her stead. So I still don’t know if they are legit or not.”
“Well, I'm glad that she actually reads the letters. I thought it would get filtered in the mail for spam”
“Oh, are you kidding? She loves spam mail!”
“Excuse me?”
“Well for her it's an excuse to get out of her daily princess duties and be clever. There have been a few which she shared with me if you want to hear them?”
“Sure why not?” I said
Starlight giggled a bit. “She got one the other day which declared, ‘The new radical radio from Idenhoof now picks up over 100 channels!’”
“Did she reply?”
“She sure did! She wrote back and said ‘Name them.’ “
I laughed at this. To send a letter from a princess to some ad revenue company like that was hilarious.
Starlight continued, “‘New vacuum cleaner from Hoofer Sweeper company!’”
“What did she reply to that?” I ask.
“‘Your vacuum cleaners suck’,” she replied.
I also laughed at this. “That’s not just clever, that’s downright amusing!”
“‘Hot mares in your area…’ Oh no… maybe not that one,” she said, blushing.
“Allright fair enough…”I said giggling imagining the response she could have given.
“Feel better?” she asked, still blushing.
“A little bit yeah. I'm glad you are here to calm me down”
“Technically it's Twilight’s humor that is calming you down.”
“And, she knows what she doing,” I said, motioning with my hoof downward “I shouldn’t at all doubt her for sending you. I bet you are knowledgeable about the birthing process. Is a glowing tummy normal?”
“Well to be honest… no, I have never seen a pony with a glowing belly the way you described,” she said. “May I come into where your wife is, so I may look?”
“Well, I wouldn’t expect you to not! Follow me!” I led her to my wife's room, away from the many noises from other patients. When we reached her room and opened the door, I heard my wife moaning still with her underside still glowing.
“Oh wow!” said Starlight Glimmer, standing in the doorway. “That IS a glow that I can see from here!”
“And the worst part is the pain is getting worse… I think.”
”Tell me how you think so?”
“Well, three weeks ago she would only moan when you touched her belly. Now she is moaning all the time.”
Starlight smiled and rubbed her hoofs. “Ohh a mystery! Let me collect some of the data that these fine doctors have kept and see if I can find a reference back in Canterlot.” She tapped one of the doctors on the shoulder. “Excuse me, doctor, can you assist a student of her royal majesty about Derpy Hooves, please?”
The doctor looked at the royal sigil that Starlight carried and stood a little bit taller. “Yes, mistress, whatever her majesty wants,” and the doctor hustled to get the data her team had gathered.
“You're going back to Canterlot? But you just got here! It will take too long!”
“If you are worried about the travel, just remember I am a unicorn who that not too long ago mastered teleportation. And if you are worried about how long I will be gone, just know, I can handle mysteries just like Twilight not as good, but just as well I hope.”
“Please hurry back,” I said with a worried tone, as I watched Starlight load up with all the papers the doctors gave her of all data from the past three weeks.
My wife moaned loudly as if to agree.
Starlight gave me and my wife a confident smirk. “As sure as the sun rises, I will find the answers,” she said. Then with a blur of purplish magic, she disappeared, leaving no trace of the papers nor herself. All that was left that I was looking at was a boring wall with no tale to tell.
Did she even ask when this started? I thought to myself. The lack of such detail I know I don’t have, but shouldn’t she have at least asked? I look at my wife in worry. I hope her bragging turns into truth for my wife's sake.