//------------------------------// // Oh, Spiral... // Story: Abstract Love // by Faedelaide //------------------------------// Well, this situation couldn't have gone any worse. If I wasn't backed into a corner earlier, I definitely was now. She's staring right at me, my eyes wide are as dinner plates, and I can't think of anything to say. I knew then that I had to be incomparably careful with my words, an ability in which I was sorely lacking. "Where are you going?" she asks. I sensed the change in mood as soon as it happened. She was still optimistic, still willing to give me the benefit of the doubt. Ironically, things might not have gone south so fast if I hadn't acted the way I did. But there was nothing I could do about it now. I tried to defuse the situation with my endlessly quick wit. "It's nothing, really. Not a big deal." Wrong answer. "Is it something to do with that expo you were gonna go to? Why didn't you tell me before hand?" Before I can even answer her first question, more and more start piling up. It's kinda funny, when this happened, I remember wondering why she cared so much about where she was going, because there was no way she cared about me. Isn't that funny? Doesn't that make you wanna just laugh and laugh until your teeth fall out and your throat collapses? It sure does for me, though I doubt that would actually happen. I'd probably just laugh and scream for all eternity, I could slam my face against the hardest wall there is right now and walk away unscathed. I'm invincible here, untouchable, invulnerable. And of course, I'm only gifted such power the moment I don't need it. If the sun princess... whatever her name is... is one thing, she certainly is cruel. Once again, I am cursed with having to try and explain myself to her. "Why is it such a big deal, Rainfall?" "Oh I dunno, maybe because you live here and pay most of the rent. The whole reason I moved in was so I didn't end up on the streets or running back to Rainshine with my tail between my legs! You can't just offer me a room, have me pay my share of the rent for a couple months, then abandon me to fend for myself. I can't afford this place, Spiral!" I distinctly remember getting a little annoyed at this point. Why was it my business how she lived her life? I mean, what a douche, right? Why would I ever think that about the person I loved? Why did I always have to be such a damn FAILURE? ...You wanna try and guess what I said next? I bet it'll be worse than you think. "It's fine, I can give you some money every month or so, It's not like I'm leaving you completely." "Right, yeah, ok, I'll just sit around and wait for you to send me some package in the mail with a couple hundred bits in it? Thanks man, you're suuuuch a good friend!" "Well what the hell do you want from me, Rainfall?" "I want you to tell me, your housemate and best friend, what's going on! Don't tell me you're this much of a jerk!" That... that was the moment it all went downhill. Quite possibly, it was the point of no return. Words were said with increasing volume and vitriol. We argued, then we shouted, then we screamed. All the while, I hated that I had allowed myself to get to this point. I don't remember all of it, actually I remember very little past Rainfall's words to me of which I have already transcribed. However, I remember the thing that stole all of my fire instantly. Any rage I had left boiled away as soon as Rainfall opened her mouth and spoke. "Do you not even care about me?" she asks me, her beautiful eyes full of anger and despair at the same time. I respond, possibly for the first time this entire argument, from my heart. "Of course I do, Rainfall." "How much?" I don't know how to answer, so I stay silent for a moment. Silence wasn't enough for her, however. I watch helplessly as tears start to fall down her face. "I love you Spiral. Please, just tell me..." I barely hold back a gasp, and nearly trip over myself as I back away slightly. All those months of worrying, of telling myself I wasn't worth her love. I hated myself so much that I couldn't bring myself to imagine her being happy with me... no matter how much I tried. "Please, Spiral. Do you care?" This is it. This is the moment I've been waiting for. This right here is the moment where I finally tell her how much I really do care about her, how much I want to be with her forever and never let her feel pain again. But I bet you can guess what got in the way again... as it always did... always does. I truly did love her from the bottom of my heart, but the only thing that could overpower her feelings for me, and mine for her, was the words that those pitch black hills screamed at me in her own voice. Nopony will ever love you. So you know what I did? You want to know the culmination of months of emotional repression? Of course you do, you're just my imagination. My eyes have lost focus, but I can still hear Rainfall's shaky breaths. Every fiber of my being is telling, no, commanding that I tell her I love her. I straighten myself up, trying to look as presentable as possible, but the words never come out. Inside my head they stay trapped, unable to escape. I walk up to Rainfall, her eyes still watering. I take a breath, try desperately to say something. Anything. The last thing I remember hearing is our door click closed... and Rainfall's muffled sobbing from within.