In the few years that Applejack had known Pinkie Pie, she had learned many things. One of the most important lessons that the pink filly had taught her, was never to believe in the impossible. In other words, it was not a good idea to hang around Pinkamena Diane Pie if one despises surprises or whimsical acts of the impossible becoming possible. Applejack realized that her notions of what was normal was just that, a notion, something she came up with in her head.
She had to acknowledge that she could be wrong. Applejack used to think that nopony could jump that high, until she saw Pinkie jump higher. She used to think that nopony could fit in there, until Pinkie squeezed her entire body inside while holding a toaster. She used to think that nopony could eat 80 cans of cheezewhiz back-to-back without throwing up, but then Pinkie went on and ate 150. Granted, the pink filly did end up getting sick, but it took 70 more cans than expected.
Applejack used to think that mixing Pinkie with explosives would spell catastrophe, but then Pinkie started making bits. Lots of bits. The type of bits that could help a farm struggling to readjust after the loss of two members. So, Applejack had taken a chance on Pinkie, hoping that this scheme might work out in her favor. A workshop was set up in her old treehouse while she made a point to steer her brother and grandmother away from the crime scene.
She worked all day on the farm, seeing glimpses of pink, white, yellow, and blue passing through the trees. When the bits came in, Applejack was pleasantly surprised to find a steady influx of income. The workshop would work late into the night since two of the members worked day jobs. And like a moth to a flame, Applejack found herself gravitating toward the soft glow emanating from the carefully crafted windows of the treehouse.
Applejack didn’t know why she stopped by at the end of the day, maybe she wanted proof that the others were working hard, or maybe she found the warmth of the treehouse quite comforting. She came inside with the same despondent disposition each day and observed the others’ labor.
Although, the time spent inside the “lab” as Pinkie called it wasn’t always work, there was a good amount of play as well. They had outfitted the lab with a rickety table fan and a hoof-cranked gramophone. Rarity had spruced the place up with ribbons, bows, and pillows. A cooler was filled with ice, and Pinkie restocked it daily with drinks and snacks. And when the seasons changed, heaters were brought in, thermoses were passed around, and blankets were shared.
Despite the tedium of developing and assembling fireworks, the others found joy in their time spent in close quarters. At first, Applejack was surprised when she heard the laughter resonating from the deserted shack. It reminded her of days gone by, of old smells, and forgotten feelings. She assumed that the others were goofing off, they had to have been, because Applejack never laughed like that when she was working hard.
She came in ready to fuss and scold only to find plenty of fireworks ready to be sold. Pinkie had taught Rarity how to draw detailed explosion patterns, what chemical combinations equated to what reactions, and which ideas were feasible. Rarity had since surpassed her teacher and took over the role, freeing Pinkie to measure, mix, and assemble with Fluttershy’s aid. Once canisters were filled with reactants, the cylinders were capped with cones and returned to Rarity. The unicorn had insisted that the fireworks have a high aesthetic quality, even before ignition. She used paints from her day job to decorate the exterior of the fireworks, creating unique designs for each.
Despite operating primarily during the day, even Rainbow Dash made a point to be at the lab late at night. She still didn’t contribute to the construction, but she did add to the entertainment. Rainbow found the inside of the lab stuffy and hot, which was a great departure from the cool air of Cloudsdale. She opted to casually stand outside with her head and front hooves hanging through the window joining in on the laughter and conversation despite doing none of the work.
It’s not that any of the others really minded though. They giggled and joked around with Rainbow as if Rainbow wasn’t a freeloader. Applejack tried not to look too hard at the blue pegasus when she was around. Rainbow was arrogant and brash. She had no reason to be here, she had no need. Yet the others gave her a pass.
Rarity probably saw the shallowness in Rainbow’s character, but she was a social climber at heart. Applejack knew that the unicorn was too impressed by Rainbow’s fancy mane and her cool exterior to hold her to a decent standard. Fluttershy was sweet, but she was also a doormat. A doormat that Rainbow walked all over. Applejack knew that Rainbow could spit in Fluttershy’s face, and Fluttershy would still end up apologizing to her.
And Pinkie was just being her plan stupid self. Those blue eyes of her’s portrayed nothing but admiration for Rainbow. Was it deserved? Was it necessary? Applejack knew that those types of questions never crossed Pinkie’s mind. It’s why she always hung onto ponies that wanted nothing to do with her. Because no matter how often you showed your true colors to Pinkie, she always insisted that you were worth befriending. It’s why she beamed at the slightest inkling of a smile from Rainbow, and it’s why she continued to pester Applejack.
The other fillies had time to spare and dreams to hold onto. Applejack had nothing. Nothing to spare. Nothing to dream of. Nothing to laugh about. What legitimate joy could anypony find in this life when they found out the truth? When they endured the unbearable and came out in shambles. Did any of them understand how empty all of this was? How cruel this life could be? Nothing was right, nothing was fair. Yet, everypony had to stay here and pretend like they were actually doing something or accomplishing anything. Applejack knew that life was nothing more than a waste of time, and she had to go about her days as if they were meaningful. She hated it. She found no joy in living so disingenuously.
Of course Rainbow could laugh in a situation like this, because Rainbow had no need to worry. None of them really did, because they lived in another world. They didn’t have to worry about raising a little stranger that depends on them for everything. That didn’t have acre after acre of produce to pick and sell. They didn’t have to come home to a house that felt empty, because the very heart of it was ripped out prematurely and unfairly. When they went home, they went home to a complete family. And to Applejack, that was irreconcilable.
The thoughts always came too fast and too strong. Her eyes stung as she occupied the stuffy and hot corner of the treehouse. By this point, it was only a matter of time before the high-pitched voice pierced her thoughts.
“Hey Applejack, are you okay?” asked a stupid pink face with big blue eyes that saw directly into you.
There was always a pause. Then the same secondary question.
“Would you like to stay a bit longer?”
Applejack always wondered why she had to ask that question? When would she learn that it wasn’t deserved?
“Nope.” Simple, resolute, complete. Applejack didn’t need any of them.
They weren’t like Applejack, because they had never suffered like Applejack. They were mere children to her. Much too naive to understand the complexities and sad truths of this life. She got up to take her leave. She marched her way home, night after night, with the same bitter expression. The dull glow of the treehouse grew fainter as she passed through the orchard. By the time she reached her bedroom, there was nothing but the shadowy silhouette of treetops.
They worked long hours, but they still giggled well into the night while Applejack brooded in her cold and heartless house.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Pinkie brought Applejack’s cut of the sales, she always placed the bits in a box of six cupcakes, insisting that Applejack and her family deserved a sweet treat. The young farmer always rolled her eyes at the gesture, confiscating the box quickly before walking away. Even when Applejack’s back was turned, she could tell that Pinkie continued smiling. Maybe it was because Applejack willingly interacted with her, even if it was brief. Or maybe it was because Applejack kept the box of cupcakes instead of dumping it out immediately.
Pinkie’s smile was about as innocent as they came, but Applejack couldn’t help but interpose Rainbow’s smug expression over the pink filly’s face. It irritated Applejack that she actually knew facts about Rainbow’s life. All information on the pegasus was provided against her will and without provocation. Applejack knew that Rainbow was a genuine speedster. She was blessed with an extraordinary aptitude for flight. And she was blessed with a set of parents that never told her “no” a day in her life. So, the blue speedster’s words moved as fast as her wings, a truly impressive feat.
Applejack ground her teeth as Rainbow grated her brain with incessant talking. It made the torture of basking in the treehouse’s gentle glow all the more unbearable. The growing success of the firework operation was Rainbow’s newest bragging right, even though the only ponies she could brag to were the same ponies making the success possible. The idea of actually contributing to one of Rainbow’s many accomplishments made Applejack sick. She tossed and turned in her bed, watching the shadowy treetops, and estimating when the others would close shop and go home.
Rainbow would always complain that the late nights interfered with her salesmanship, but she would still stick around. Applejack would pour her bits into a green chest at the foot of her bed, and she could swear that there was an unusual blue tint to each coin. It ate the orange pony up on the inside. The amount of profit pulled was contingent on Rainbow, it didn’t matter how hard the others worked or for how long. Without Rainbow’s connections or savvy, they wouldn’t be able to sell their product.
It pained Applejack to know that she owed the blue pegasus anything. As if the universe could be any kinder to Dash than it already was, now it expected Applejack to begrudgingly acknowledge her importance to the team. It just couldn’t be this way. Applejack couldn’t take it, she couldn’t bear to listen to Rainbow's boasting, couldn’t stand to see the others fawn over her, and couldn’t tolerate being denied the warmth of the treehouse that her pa had built for her not them.
One day, she arrived earlier than usual, wiping the sweat off her brow and resting her baskets by a tree before entering. The sun was starting to set, but the lab’s work was just beginning. Rarity was inspecting her designs, Rainbow was stationing herself through the wind, and Pinkie and Fluttershy were pulling out their tools and powders. They all grew visibly nervous as Applejack silently sauntered in.
“Listen y’all, I’ve been thinking… I could help with the selling too.”
Pinkie’s reaction was the most volatile of the bunch as her body jerked to the side. She twitched for a few seconds before her ears fell flat against her head. She smiled apologetically.
“Oh, thanks Applejack! The work that you’re doing is good…and I don’t think I can increase your cut any further.”
Pinkie’s concern with compensating Applejack was understandable to everypony, but her hesitancy had a hidden layer to it. Applejack knew that Pinkie would give up a portion of her own cut just to appease her because Pinkie had already done just that. To get Applejack back on the team after adding Rainbow Dash, Pinkie split her own cut in half. Applejack earned 30%, Pinkie got 10%, and the other three got 20%. The agreement was a secret between the earth ponies and Applejack was happy to keep it that way. Pinkie really couldn’t afford to give more, because her funds went to buying materials and her younger sister’s silence and cooperation. Applejack wasn’t even sure if Pinkie was profiting from this venture anymore. She didn't allow herself to feel bad for the pink filly though, because Pinkie was hopelessly devoted to the illusion of joy.
Applejack shook her head and waved her hoof dismissively. “There’s no need for that. Just consider this as me living up to my cut. We Apples are hard workers. We don’t just sit around and let everypony else do the work, we earn our keep. Anyways, if I sell twice as many fireworks, then we’ll bring in a bigger profit overall.”
That got Rainbow’s attention. Half of the pegasus’ body was hanging through the window. “Are you tryna tell me that you’re gonna sell twice as many fireworks as me!”
“Eyup. I got a lot of family that I can sell to. There’s probably more of us Apples than there are of Ponyville foals and your friends combined.”
Pinkie and Rarity exchanged a look, carrying out a wordless conversation with their eyes. Eventually, Rarity shrugged and returned to her designs, Pinkie quietly squealed as she turned to Applejack.
“Okie dokie lokie! That sounds great. We’ll just have to make more to go around!”
With that, the young farmer sealed her fate indefinitely. She didn’t bother to say goodbye as she walked out. Pinkie didn’t try to convince her to stay, because she knew that Applejack would return later that night. She was collecting her baskets when Rainbow came to talk to her.
“If you really think you can get more sales than me, then I look forward to seeing you try. Just make sure to keep it within your circle. I’ve gotten offers from some really creepy weirdos, like black market types. They’d pay a ton…but they’re creeps so I don’t talk to them.”
The earth pony glowered at Rainbow until she flew away. Applejack didn’t need to be told to avoid “‘creepy weirdos,’” she wasn’t a moron. The moon rose in the sky and Applejack pursued the light, sneaking out of her empty home to join the others. Her eyes glistened as the same thoughts buzzed around in her head and Pinkie asked the same questions.
“Hey Applejack, are you okay?”
No response, because this question wasn’t important. There was an infinite pause, then the usual follow-up question.
“Would you like to stay a bit longer?”
“Well, I don’t see how else I might make sure y’all make my share of the product.”
Pinkie always made the same face when she was about to break out into song. Her lips would quiver, her eyes would fill with joy and tears, and her body would shake as the melody threatened to burst out of her chest. She didn’t actually sing, but Applejack knew that she wanted to. She smiled as she returned to her work, but her movements weren’t as swift or meticulous as before.
By candlelight, Applejack would write letters to select cousins all over Equestria. She picked family members that tended to cause trouble. The ones that she was told to be cautious around during family reunions. It was a small portion of the Apple clan, but it was still a formidable source of income. The amount of profit was only increased when Applejack promised discounts to whoever convinced their friends to purchase as well. She was making good on her claim, but it wasn’t enough.
No matter how many bits she earned, Applejack still felt hollow. Her family was happy to see her bring home unprecedented profits from the market. Granny Smith had even prepared special dinners to celebrate Applejack abandoning her usual “snippiness” when talking to customers. But they didn’t even know the truth and she didn’t think that they even cared. If they wanted to believe that Applejack was doing better, then they could live in their delusion. It was so much easier to fool oneself into living the lie that everything was okay, instead of grappling with the crushing reality of life.
The others praised Applejack for her salesmanship, congratulating her, and thanking her for her hard work. She spent more time in the stuffy, hot room surrounded by beating hearts, but she still didn’t laugh like them. She listened to their jokes and partook in their craft. She beat Rainbow at her own game, even adopting the alias Al Capony to set herself apart from Rainbow Dash’s Pony Accardo. She was working harder than ever. But she still wasn’t happy.
She decided that she needed to do more, she needed to be better. She knew the rules, and she knew them well. Pinkie had composed a six-part serenade detailing the Four F's. Their customers were to consist of foals, friends, family, and friends of family. In other words, fireworks were sold to those that they could trust or ponies that they had a degree of relation to.
They kept it in their circles, appearing as shadowy figures to those they knew in dark corners. Or, writing anonymous letters sent from an obscure rock farm in western Equestria. Rarity would offhandedly mention her youthful misadventures with cherry bombs to foals at the toy shop. Dropping hints that there may or may not be a pony selling them in an alleyway if anypony was brave enough to find out.
Applejack continued writing to her family but found that some were more desperate to purchase than others. Rainbow was right about the “‘creepy weirdos’” sending offers. Some of Applejack’s own family were borderline “‘creepy weirdos,’” waiting for their big break. They offered the most enticing deals of all. They swore that they knew ponies who would push their fireworks to the next level. A market of waiting hooves and packed pockets. The young farmer wasn’t a moron. She knew that they were describing the black market, which definitely wasn’t a part of the Four F’s, but she still felt the urge. The urge to be better, the urge to do more, the urge to feel anything, and the urge to bury it all away.
When her cousin Winesap offered his biggest bid yet and offered to put her in contact with his acquaintance called ‘The Fox', Applejack couldn’t resist the temptation. It all felt so easy. What else was she supposed to do? With all this time to waste and all this life to live? It’s not like she had anypony to look out for her or over her. She was alone. Even in that hot and stuffy room, she was surrounded by ponies that she couldn’t understand, yet she wanted to be just like them. It didn’t make any sense and when she tried to understand it, she just became angrier and angrier. It was like living in a daze, where things only clicked for a millisecond before the world started spinning way too fast again. Every second was spent fighting against the pain and she would do anything to win.
So, she would set aside crates of fireworks for Fox and his gang to pick up. She received more than enough compensation. The three that actually made the fireworks were working harder than ever. Rarity decreased her shifts at the toy shop, which she didn’t really mind. The unicorn collaborated with Pinkie to imagine bigger and better firecrackers. Fluttershy still worked diligently, but she seemed to grow more and more uneasy with each day. Rainbow, despite being paid more, was annoyed that she was losing to Applejack. She had no idea how many cousins the typical earth pony had, but she questioned if the amount willing to buy was actually legit.
None of them knew what Applejack was doing, and Applejack had no intention of them finding out. She covered her tracks to the best of her ability and lived comfortably for weeks as the chest overflowed with bits.
Then, Bugs found her.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“I don’t know why I did what I did, not really. It was all so fuzzy. I was compulsive and stupid back then. I was just doin’ stuff for the sake of doin’ it. I didn’t care. I didn’t think. I know it ain’t an excuse and it don’t make it okay, but I am sorry. This could have ended so much differently had I not pushed y’all to do more than we needed to.”
Applejack sniffed as she took another swig of her cider. Finding out about Pinkie’s stash was the only good news that she had heard all week. After their meeting in Town Hall, the gang opted to return to Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie’s loft and party cave proved to be the optimal meeting place for all five of them. They had descended into the basement to speak, and drink, freely. The experience of telling her friends about their mob times was just about as unpleasant the second time as it had been the first. But the feeling was only made worse when Applejack remembered that she was mainly telling Fluttershy. Throughout their initial run as illegal fireworks dealers, the poor yellow pegasus bore the brunt of the guilt. Eventually succumbing to the pressure of keeping and participating in the secret.
Applejack blamed herself for that, and she would regret it for the rest of her life. She tried to avoid reminding Fluttershy of the experience, but now she had to pull her back into the havoc. She nearly burst into tears when Fluttershy wrapped her in a hug. Pulling her close and squeezing tightly.
“It’s okay Applejack, I forgive you. And…none of this would be happening if we all just made better choices,” she whispered as she rubbed the farmer’s back.
She remained by Applejack’s side as she turned to the others. “So um, the mob is aware of our dealing…and they want to come here to m-make us pay?”
“Yep. But they’re not coming, they’re already here. Haven’t you seen those weirdo creeps in the shadows with trench coats and stuff?” Rainbow mumbled as she poured more cider into her mug.
Fluttershy pressed her hoof to her chin tentatively. “The new ponies with trench coats are um g-g-gangsters?”
The others nodded remorsefully, worried about how their timid friend might react to the continuous bad news.
Fluttershy swallowed and straightened up. She was starting to feel something akin to hope growing in her heart. “I-I think I might know one of them.”