Button Mash's Adventure

by David Silver


9 - Ready Player Two

With the dungeon, or cave more accurately, defeated, they could return to the city with no real resistance. The random fights were easy enough to dispatch for adventurers of their risen calibre. Buttons rushed for the adventurer's guild, just to run right into his larger companion. "What's the deal?"

Burning pointed to a store close by with a big book for a sign. "You're an adventurer. We have money. Time to get new spells. The more you have, the more useful you are to me and yourself."

Sidestep began nudging Button towards the store. "I am unaccustomed to that profession. You fight with a sword as well as spells. Are you equally capable?"

With the idea made clear, Button hurried in his steps to get to the magic. "Yep, jack of all trades. And this jack wants some new spells!"

Grabbing new spells was the start, not the end. They had a rhythm, and they got to it. Button led them to the dungeons one at a time as they prepared for them, taking the loot and mashing the monsters while they were there for whatever random drops and goodies they happened to have.

Button was smiling most of the while. He had a sweet sword maiden, a big body guard, and he could fight himself. He was an adventurer! They'd win and figure out the way to get home. Both of his friends had promised to help him do that, and he had faith in them. Besides, getting all the loot was proving to be as fun as it was profitable.

Whenever they stopped by a guild hall, ponies recognized them. They were starting to build a bit of a reputation. "Crack Scout." Button grinned a bit silly at the title. "The one who knows where to look and points the way."

Sidestep nodded. "And his blade." A simple title, but she seemed pleased with it.

Burning laughed at the two. "I did not ask them to, but they gave me the top. Burning Giant and..." The Crack Scout and his blade, as the party had become known. "I'm not that large, but stories, who can control them? Each place you bring us to, Button, is more dangerous than the last, but we are more prepared each time. We find great treasures and stock on more supplies. Where is next?"

Button considered that while gazing at a drawn map of the world. "We've been there and there..." He pointed at each dread location they had tamed. "So the next would be..." He trailed a hoof along the path of the savers of the world. "Here."

Sidestep leaned in for a better view. "Near the factory where they make the airships?"

"It is the factory where they make the airships." Button clopped excitedly. "With any luck, maybe we can snag one of those. That'd make trips a lot faster."

Burning crossed his heavy arms. "That is still in use. That is less adventuring and more stealing."

Sidestep gestured at Burning in a grand wave. "There are limits even for him. The airship factory cannot be said to be an adventure."

The heroes had a completely legit, world ending, reason to be there, doing their thing. "Oh fine..." Button did not. "But that means the one after it will be extra hard and we'll have to show off all our moves." He thumped down on a forest. "Eternal Night Forest."

Burning whistled softly. "That is a dangerous place. I would have avoided it entirely, normally... But we have somepony who knows where its secrets lie." The temptation was clearly too powerful. "Let's be careful, but we are going."

"Your sword is ready to be drawn." Sidestep nodded with grave intent. "At your word."

And they went, daring into the depths of the forest along narrow paths that were covered in fog, mysteries, and far too many monsters of a worryingly high level. It was a fine time for Button to work through his spells. "Flame Nova!" He could finally hit more than one thing! The spell exploded into a delightfully bright burst of flames that could catch them all. Best part? It knew friend from foe and just casually didn't hurt the ponies he didn't want to hurt. Which also meant he could use it all willy nilly.

Burning shoved a sinister walking tree back. "Are you trying to challenge me?" He pushed with heavy hooves on the arboreal foe. "I can handle the fire, little scout."

"Sure, but they're walking trees. Gonna be weak to fire." He squinted at one to be sure.

Except it wasn't weak to fire. Acid? Really? Button had a spell for that!

Sidestep sliced the branches free of a defeated tree and kicked it away. "The beasts are much more... intense than before. How much further? We may wish to withdraw soon, or we risk losing from fatigue."

"Acid Rain!" Button conjured a sudden, but brief, downpour of burning acid on the field, to the trees wailing lament. "The first chest shouldn't be too far up ahead. Ooo, hope it has something good."

They pressed on into a clearing. In the game, you had to go the 'wrong' way to find it, but there was no 'right' way when one wasn't on a specific goal. "There!" He rushed for it with a big smile. "And it's still closed!" He jumped for it with a twirl, landing on it... but it was glowing. Why was it glowing?

"Button?" Sweetie Belle was peering at him oddly, standing not far away from the chest with her horn shimmering. "You're here too?"

Burning scowled as he closed. "We were here first!"

Sweetie stuck out her tongue. "Button, tell him the truth. I got there first."

Button flipped his ears back, looking between Sweetie and his friends. Sidestep was giving him 'the look' that demanded he be a good lord. "Ugh! Yes... The chest was glowing when I landed on it, and that was her." He pointed at Sweetie accusingly. "Who shouldn't even be here! Sweetie, what are you doing here? You're gonna get hurt."

Sweetie giggled at his concern. "Aw, thanks for caring, but I know this game."

Button sat on the chest. "You do? You do?! Since when? I thought I was the only pony in Ponyville that liked this game."

Sweetie rolled her eyes at that. "Some of us play at home, Button. I don't have to wear a hat or anything." Her eyes were on his twirling beanie. "Now shoo. My partners should..."

As if summoned, two other ponies emerged from the fog. A small halfling pony and a stocky dwarf pony. The dwarf nodded. "Ah, ya done found one. And some... friends?"

Sidestep pointed. "They wear the badges of the same guild." Which meant they were adventurers. "Are there rules if two adventuring parties should meet?"

The halfling bounced around Sidestep. "And you're not wearing one. So you're not. Why are you here?"

Sidestep clapped her hooves together silently and bowed forward. "I am his blade. Sidestep, sword maiden." She then gestured to Button. "I claim no treasure save what he decides to give me."

Sweetie's giggles were legendary. "Ooo! Button has a mare following his every word, hmm? How interesting..."

Sidestep frowned at that. "I dislike the way you are saying that. Do not imply impurities on my lord."

Button rubbed awkwardly behind his head. "We're friends, um... both of you." He pointed at Sidestep and Sweetie. "She's from my home."

Burning clapped his flaming hooves. "Then she can tell us how to return you there, if that's still what you want."

"Yeah..." She wrinkled her snout. "Still looking! Now, since I got here first, I'm taking what's in that chest." She casually opened the chest, which threw Button right off it. "Ooo!" She grabbed the glowing treasure for herself and her friends and they wandered off, chatting about what to do with it.

Sidestep offered a hoof to help Button back onto their own hooves. "You say they are a friend, my lord, but I am uncertain how I feel about them."

"Welcome to my world." Button Stuck out his tongue at where Sweetie had gone. "Well, we better get to the next chest before she does! Are there any rules for two parties in the same place?" He looked to Burning for that answer.

Burning grunted, flames licking the air in his frustration. "It's bad news to have two parties who aren't teamed up in the same place, makes bad blood. Still, we don't know which of us got here--" He pointed down and around at the whole of the forest. "First, just this chest. And I didn't come all this way to turn back!"

Sidestep frowned faintly. "For being an associate of yours, my lord, she was not especially cordial."

"She has her game face on." He smiled despite it all. "I can get that... Well! If she's serious, then I'm serious too. Let's get to the next chest!"

Burning roared with approval. "Lead the way!"

With a communal cry, the party surged back into the forest, to run headlong into monsters eager to slow them down. They weren't all trees, but at least button knew to bring acid in on them. The laughing hyena things were hard to get a squint on. They were so fast, and their sharp bits were, well, too dang sharp. He had to focus on not being ripped apart instead of taking the time to examine them.

"Woohoo!" came drifting through the foggy forest.

"Aw!" Button almost threw his sword to the ground, but there was a hyena grinning at him way too large, as if daring him to finish disarming himself. "Right..." He kept the sword and finished the fight. As a consolation, one of the mushrooms left a goodie for them in the form of a pile of coins. "Nice." He passed that right to Burning to carry. "That mighta been Sweetie getting to another chest. We have to hurry up."

"Bad blood," grunted Burning as he stormed forward. "And good reasoms to make mistakes. Keep your wits sharp."

They found the next chest at the end of a winding path, there by itself. It was still closed even. "Huh." Button mosied up to the chest, eyeing it. "I knew I heard her... Why didn't she open it?" Trap? Could be a monster in a box, those were a thing... But if she had triggered that, the chest would be open. He squinted at the chest.

Chest

Oh, fine. No sneaking peeks...

Burning grunted as he sank to his haunches. "Why haven't you opened it? You're usually the first one."

Sidestep inclined her head. "He is not wrong. My lord, does something bother you?"

"Just..." He reached for the chest and pressed up and... it didn't open. "Huh?" He got both hooves on it and pulled, but it didn't move.

"Let me." Burning punched the chest, but it didn't open, or even wobble. "What sorcery is this?"

That was when Button remembered. "It's a puzzle chest!" And surely he remembered... "There's a first button back there!" He raced back to the start of the path and stomped a mushroom with a squeak and a 'ding'. "Sidestep, stop right there!" She froze entirely. "Look to your left. See that flower? Pull it."

She peered at the odd lily sprouting from the tree. Still, her master had ordered it, and she yanked it with a click and a new 'ding'.

"Almost!" Button pumped a hoof with victory. "She found it but didn't know the puzzle. Last part, back to the chest." They hurried for the chest, to find it was sorrounded by a new wave of monsters. They fought hard and valiantly, heaving for breath against the tougher monsters.

Wait. Button could see the halfling pony that was with Sweetie sneaking in over to the chest. "No!" But he had to jump out of the way of a great pound of the ground. The monster didn't care about his treasure woes. "Not fair!"