//------------------------------// // Hearth's Warming Feast // Story: Returning Survivor // by Itchy //------------------------------// Mecha's eye twitched as he walked into the palace dinning room, annoyed at the laughing palace guard. “I hate them...” Mecha said, taking a seat at the table. Smiling, Cheerilee said, “Now now, there is no reason to say that. After all, even you must admit that it's quite funny.” “Yeah dad!” Sugary Spice added, grinning at her father's misfortune. “After all, it's not every day that you see a pony walk in covered in neon pink paint.” “That,” Mecha started, “I could live with. Them assuming that I was Pinkie Pie, I couldn't.” Snorting, Cheerilee said, “It could be worse.” “Oh?” Mecha inquired, “How so?” At this moment, Luna walked in, and blinked at the scene in front of her. “Oh, Pinkie Pie!” she said, looking straight at Mecha. “I didn't know that you'd be joining us for dinner. Tell me, have you seen Mecha?” Laughing, Cheerilee told Mecha, “My point exactly.” Ignoring his marefriend, Mecha said, “I don't suppose you have paint remover Luna?” Blinking, Luna gave Mecha a closer look, before her eyes widened, and she started to snort. “Mecha?” she asked, “Is that you?” Nodding his head, Mecha said, “Don't ask, I'll explain later.” At this moment, the rest of the dinner party arrived, consisting of Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Shining Armor, Candace, Solaris, Spitfire, Dissonant Babel, and Screwball. Upon seeing Mecha, Twilight raised an eyebrow, and asked, “Pinkie? What are you doing here?” Throwing his hooves up into the air, Mecha said, “That's it! I can't stand it anymore! I'm heading back to my room!” before standing up and turning to go. Grabbing his shoulder, Cheerilee said, “Please don't go! You have to admit that you look a lot like Pinkie Pie with you coat covered in pink paint.” “Yeah man,” Solaris added, trying to hold his laughter in. “I mean, I've only barely met her, and I still think you look a lot like her. What happened?” Eye still twitching, Mecha sighed before sitting down. “A Hearth's Warming Eve family tradition gone awry,” he told them, shaking his head. “Every year my family picks a random house in Minot, and paint it a neon color. This year, I was to paint the roof when the ladder broke, causing me to fall and spill paint all over myself.” “So you got paint all over yourself while vandalizing a house?” Twilight asked. Mecha nodded his head, causing Twilight to say, “Serves you right.” Eye twitching, Mecha replied, “If it were any other color, maybe. But pink? That's just creul.” “I dunno,” Luna said, looking Mecha over. “I kinda like the look. Makes you seem so... cheerful.” Mecha started a rebuttal, but was prevented by a window being broken by a crashing orange pegasus, whose mane and tail were a light black, much like the tip of his wings, with brown eyes, and who's Cutie Mark was a feather with a lightning bolt behind him. “Ugh... note to self, never try and mix speed with tight turns...” Mecha blinked, recognizing the pony in front of him. “Nimbus?* Is that you?” Rubbing his head, the stallion got up, saying, “Yeah, that's my name, who's asking?” Chuckling, Mecha replied, “It's me, Mecha! We went to high-school together, remember?” Blinking, Nimbus said, “Mecha? What are you...” as he turned to face Mecha, only to stop upon seeing him. Staring, Nimbus took in the painted pony, before trying to contain his laughter, getting out, “doing... here... BWAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU'RE PINK! WHAT HAPPENED!?!” Eye twitch returning with a vengeance, Mecha said, “That's it! I didn't want to resort to this, but I've had enough!” before reaching behind him and pulling a violin out from no where. “Catch!” he yelled out, throwing the instrument to Dissonant Babel. Grabbing it out of mid-air, Dissonant Babel looked between it and Mecha, asking, “What?” Sighing, Mecha said, “Play it. Use the innate magic of music to make them dance something humiliating.” Glancing at the violin again, Dissonant Babel replied, “Or I could play something of my choice,” before starting up a waltz. Mecha was about to yell at his friend, only to realize that he was now waltzing with Cheerilee. “I probably should've thought about this before tossing the instrument to him, shouldn’t have I?” he asked. “Well,” Cheerilee started, “It would've defiantly helped,” as the two began to twirl around the room. “Although, this is quite pleasant,” Mecha said, smiling as he pulled her in close after a spin. “Quite,” Cheerilee replied, smiling herself. At this point, Mecha took a look at the room around him. Unsurprisingly, Solaris was waltzing with Spitfire, the two enjoying themselves, and Sugary Spice was waltzing with the only other pony close to her size, Screwball. Shining Armor and Candace both had bright grins on their faces, while Luna appeared to be dancing with Nimbus, and... Mecha laughed, as he watched Twilight Sparkle and Celestia waltz, with Twilight leading! “Okay, this actually turned out better than expected,” Mecha said. Getting a glance of Celestia and Twilight dancing together, Cheerilee giggled, before saying, “You'd have thought that Celestia would be the one in the lead position.” Smirking, Mecha replied, “She's been waltzing for years with stallions at formal occasions... I don't think she could lead if she tried!” Laughing a bit, the song came to an end... only for another one to pick up right afterwords. “I must admit, I didn't expect Dissonant Babel to be able to play the violin so well!” Cheerilee said. Shrugging his shoulders the best he could whilst dancing, Mecha replied, “Discord's got a lot of tricks up his sleeves. I wouldn't be surprised if he was a lawyer as well!” Blinking, Cheerilee asked, “Did you say Discord?” Eyes widening, Mecha replied, “Uh... oh hey! Celestia and Luna swapped places! And... Twilight's still leading!” Glancing over, Cheerilee chuckled lightly, saying, “I have to admit, that is funny. But back to the point, Discord?” Sighing, Mecha told her, “Yeah, Dissonant Babel is Discord in pony form.” Raising an eyebrow, Cheerilee asked, “And you're okay with it?” Chuckling, Mecha said, “He's actually a pretty cool guy once you get to know him. After all, he isn't out of control since he lacks his full power, and he'll behave himself so he can avoid having Screwball taken from him via foal services.” Shrugging her shoulders, Cheerilee said, “Okay,” as they finished their dance. Giving a quick turn, everypony faced Dissonant Babel, before giving him a round of applause. Bowing, Dissonant Babel replied, “Thank you, you're all too kind! I'd like to thank Mecha fro providing me with this opportunity, as well as for Celestia and Luna for not stopping it!” Laughing, the crowd all sat down to the long awaited dinner, polite conversation popping up along the table. “Twilight, were did you learn how to waltz like that?” Celestia asked her student. “Yes, you must tell us! After all, most mares only know how to follow in the waltz, never how to lead,” Luna added. Blushing, Twilight Sparkle replied, “Well, I signed up for dance lessons while I was studying here, seeing only the words lessons, and not the part that said dance... and when I showed up, there were more mares than stallions, so I volunteered to learn the lead. In fact, that's the only formal dance I know!” “The lead for the waltz?” Celestia asked. “Yeah!” Twilight replied, shaking her head. “Who would've thought I'd ever need it?” Back at the other end of the table, Mecha was catching up with Nimbus. “So at this point the yelling starts, and most of us are getting into position,” Nimbus told Mecha. “But two of the recruits are refusing to get of the blimp, and went straight home!” Roaring with laughter, Mecha asked, “Didn't they know what they were getting themselves into?” Snorting, Nimbus replied, “I don't think any of them realized that the academy was serious about the expectations. In fact, we lost another forty during basic training!” Eyes widening, Mecha asked, “Did none of them realize they'd need to be in shape to be an officer?” Shaking his head, Nimbus replied, “I don't think so. Then again, most of them were the sons and daughters of nobles, so...” “They thought it was a free position,” Mecha finished, nodding his head. “So what about you man? You just fell off the face of Equestria for two years, and then the first thing I hear about you is your new book!” Nimbus inquired. “Well, it all started on my first mission,” Mecha started, telling his tale to his high-school friend. Sitting next to them, Cheerilee was holding a conversation with Spitfire and Solaris. “I'm telling you two, you should come to class and give a presentation! After all, most, if not all the children have heard of the Wonderbolts, having one of their captains show up would be a real treat!” Cheerilee said, trying to convince them to visit her classroom. “And after the stories they've heard from Mecha involving you and Shining Armor, I'm sure they'd love to meet a captain of the Royal Guards!” Spitfire and Solaris looked between each other, giving each other iffy looks. “I dunno,” Solaris told Cheerilee. “Most of what I deal with isn't the... glamor that I'm sure Mecha's portrayed it as.” “And I'm going to be busy with the training of this year's new recruits...” Spitfire added. “Don't worry about it! After all, Mecha has visited the hospital several times involving the less 'glamorous' parts of life that you're referring to, and most in not all of Ponyville knows about that. Still don't understand why the Nightmare Clan or the mafia went after him though...” Cheerilee replied. “And Spitfire, train the recruits at Ponyville! We've got a place called Ghastly Gorge near the town, perfect for stunt flying practice!” Cheerilee said, trying her best to convince the couple to visit. Giving each other a look, the couple started whispering between each other while Sugary Spice and Screwball were scheming right next to them. “At that point,” Screwball started, “the bag of flour bursts over head, causing Luna to look like a ghost...” “Scaring off the cook!” Sugary Spice finished. “At which point she'll try to apologize, stepping forward to trigger...” “The bags of sugar!” Screwball said. “At which point her mane will be colored like Celestia's and in her moment of confusion...” “The final trap will trigger, covering her Cutie Mark with Celestia's!” Sugary Spice said, laughing. “Which is when Celestia will walk in, victim of our other pranks...” “Looking like Luna!” Screwball finished. “It's perfect!” Chuckling at his daughter's and her friend's mischief, Dissonant Babel asked Shining Armor and Candace, “So cute when they don't think anypony is listening to their schemes, aren't they?” Both nodded their heads, with Candace asking, “Shouldn't we stop them though? After all, we don't want them to get into any trouble...” Shining Armor laughed, before replying, “They won't get into any trouble. The princesses love a good prank or two, especially if the pranks are pulled off on them without them knowing ahead of time.” Nodding his head, Dissonant Babel added, “They even keep track of every successful prank pulled on them, as well as who pulled them. If those two manage to pull this off, they'll be the youngest entrants into the book, as well as the third to prank both at the same time.” Blinking, Candace asked, “Really? What were the other two pranks?” Snickering, Shining Armor replied, “The second one was when Star Swirl the Bearded placed a portal from their rooms into the others. Neither realized what was going on until he broke down in laughter watching them try and enter their rooms.” Eyes widening, Candace asked, “Star Swirl the bearded pranked them?” Laughing, Dissonant Babel replied, “Oh yeah! Man was he a trickster, illusions every other week, portals to the garden every third door, and false doors that insulted you if you didn't talk to them nicely! But the real prankster was the first pony to prank the two together, as well as the first to prank them at all.” “And that was...” Candace asked, waving her hoof in a 'please continue' manner. “Discord, back when he was completely sane,” Shining Armor told her. “He actually pranked them in a manner that made them think the other did it, causing a huge prank war!” “...say again?” Candace asked. “You know the giant prank war that occurred at the founding of Celestia's and Luna's reign?” Dissonant Babel asked. “Yeah, their attempts to lighten up the mood of the citizens after such a long period of darkness,” Candace replied. “It was a cover up to make sure no-pony realized that Celestia and Luna had ben tricked into pranking each other,” Shining Armor replied. Blinking, Candace asked, “Is there anymore history that you'd like to destroy for me?” Stroking his chin, Dissonant Babel started, “Well... I could tell you about the true cause of the sugar famine 900 years ago...” LINEBREAKER Mecha sighed as he sat down in his room provided for the night by the princesses. “That,” he started, “Was a good meal.” Chuckling at her stallionfriend's demeanor, Cheerilee replied, “That it was. It was nice of them to invite us to their post Hearth's Warming day feast.” Nodding is head, Mecha said, “That it was. Although, I certainly didn't expect Nimbus to crash the party... literally.” Chuckling, Cheerilee replied, “It was fun to see you catch up with a high-school friend of yours.” “Especially since we got to trade stories,” Mecha added, stretching himself out a bit, popping his back. “Who'd have thought that the officer training academy would've held so many interesting stories...” Cheerilee shook her head, before saying, “Well, I'm going to bed, see you in the morning?” Nodding his head, Mecha pulled out a manuscript and pen, before getting to work on his next book whilst his marefriend slept. LINEBREAKER Mecha was standing amongst the group heading back to Ponyville, waiting for the princesses to show up in order to say good bye. Tapping his hoof, he glanced at a nearby clock, before the crowd started to snicker. Turning, Mecha came face to face with the princesses, and had to stop himself from bursting with laughter. “So...” he started, holding a hoof up to his mouth to keep himself from bursting, “Should I call you two Celena and Lutia?” For standing before him, covered in various cooking ingredients, were Celestia and Luna, made to look like the other.” Taking the prank with grace, Celestia replied, “That won't be necessary. Although, that will most likely be the name that this goes under in our book...” Nodding her head, Luna added, “All we really need is for Sugary Spice to come and take a picture with us and Screwball for the book.” “Aw... how'd you know it was us?” Sugary Spice asked. “Shining Armor told us after overhearing your scheming with Screwball,” Celestia said. Blinking, Sugary Spice said, “I knew somepony was listening to us...” *Nimbus belongs to my friend Fyn16, who will soon be using Mecha in his story In Pursuit Of..., with my permission. Go check it out, it should be good based on the talks we've been having.