//------------------------------// // Requiem of a Dream // Story: Harmonic Cognition // by Jymbroni //------------------------------// As night fell upon Canterlot, Octavia and Vinyl made their way to the entertainment district. The thunder of the bass began to fill the air as more ponies populated the streets, causing her to gravitate towards Vinyl's side. Octavia's stomach started to churn as the prestigious architecture shifted into more sleek and modern designs found in Las Pegasus. The cacophony of bright lights and bass-riddled music pulsed through the air, and Octavia despised every minute of it. How could ponies stand the blaring racket, putrid smells of drunk, sweaty ponies, and anxiety-inducing crowds? However, seeing how Vinyl would come to life in her element made it worth the flagrant assault on her senses. As the pair arrived at the venue, all of Octavia's fears came to fruition. The interior was lit purely by colorful strobed lights that could cause a seizure at a moment's notice, not to mention the smoky haze that coated everything. Following Vinyl further into the depths, the deafening music became almost too much to handle as they neared the main stage. Octavia cursed under her breath as she was jostled like a pinball through the illuminated dance floor. She barely managed to keep close to Vinyl, who was effortlessly gliding through the crowd. Reaching a pocket of space next to the bar, which consumed the entire interior wall, Vinyl turned and mouthed something to her. Before Octavia could ask what she said, Vinyl gave her a peck on the cheek before rushing backstage, leaving her alone. Uneasiness crept into the back of Octavia's mind as she stood amongst the plethora of partiers, lost in the energy of the music. As she slinked off to one of the unoccupied stools at the bar. The formally dressed fish out of water pressed her hooves to her temples to calm herself. "This is for Vinyl," she reminded herself, muttering the mantra over and over. Her marefriend had always shown up when she needed to, and now it was her turn. Octavia could hear the faint clicking of a hoof over the deafening music causing her to lift her head. "Could I get something started for you?" A mint-coated pegasus asked as she leaned over the bar. "Water, please!" Octavia shouted too loudly in reply, startling the mare and herself. The surprised bartender nodded before ducking down behind the bar to grab a small clear glass. Sliding it in front of Octavia, the bartender produced a slender bottle and poured out some of its crystal contents. The pegasus gave her a small smile before departing to attend to another patron. Octavia took a generous swig of her drink, hoping its crispness would calm her nerves. Was this how Vinyl felt when she dragged her to all of those formal events? It took all of her willpower to fight the urge to turn tail and run to a quieter venue. Before the sensation became too much, the overbearing noise ceased. Spinning around, she saw the vacant DJ booth as ponies began to converse, refilling the atmosphere with noise. Anxiety continued to wreak havoc on her stomach as she took another sip, praying that Vinyl would be up next so she could end this nightmare. A moment later, Octavia could make out the faint lines of a pony behind the DJ booth. She rose out of her seat, hoping Vinyl would be next because Octavia was nearing her breaking point. Instantly a single white light flicked on, revealing Vinyl, or rather DJ Pon-3, behind the turntables with a confident smile. Octavia plopped back in her seat with some relief as she was in the endgame. Vinyl lifted a hoof into the air, and Octavia braced herself for the impending blast of bass. However, the blow never came. Instead, Octavia's anxiety dissipated as the familiar sound of a stringed instrument quietly played through the oversized speakers. "A cello," Octavia muttered in disbelief. The exposition of the solo cello left Octavia perplexed along with the crowd. Was Vinyl performing a sonata for her? She would never do something that outlandish because it would take a hit on her reputation. However, something about the melody... Octavia's breath hitched in her throat as the aria became more apparent. A month ago, Vinyl requested Octavia to play something she'd written after attending a performing arts social. Octavia dismissed it as one of Vinyl's experiments since it was only a sheet and a half of music. Octavia closed her eye's as the overstimulation of the club faded from existence. She felt something pulling her to dance when the music filled the room. It wasn't something outlandish that could be seen on the dance floor but an elegant simplistic dance between two ponies. Naturally, Octavia began to sway with the draw of the bow across the strings as her hooves took to the floor in a waltz. She imagined Vinyl in a radiant gown spinning her around as the tempo picked up. As the two ponies circled each other, Octavia could feel her heart racing as Vinyl pushed her faster. Octavia could feel her breaths becoming heavier as she pushed her hooves' to keep pace with Vinyl. Something was changing as their smooth-flowing dance took on a more aggressive, snappier approach. As their hooves' clicked across the floor, Octavia could hear the heavy kick drum and sharp snare adding precision and purpose to their steps. With each spin Octavia did, a new sound was added to the song. Spin. Electronic beat. Spin. Synthetic counter melody. Each time Octavia returned to Vinyl's hooves, the DJ's smile grew brighter and brighter. Octavia could not hide her elation as their hooves flew across the dance floor, but she could feel deep inside her that their dance was building to something. With one swift twist of her hoof, Vinyl spun Octavia away from her. With her first step, the cello entered into a run of its scale, going higher and higher as Octavia spun further away until everything stopped. Octavia's labored breaths filled the silence as she gazed up at her marefriend, who had both hooves high in the air like a conductor about to start a song. Bass drop. As Vinyl brought her hooves down, bass thundered from the heavens as her marefriend was encased in a blue flame. As Octavia rushed over, the fire dissipated, revealing Vinyl dressed in a vibrant blue dress that accented her tantalizing curves. Her breathing ceased as her marefriend pressed her body into her as they renewed their dance to the crowd's roar. Octavia's soul burned with a new passion as the DJ's masterpiece played around them. Vinyl had reached into her very essence and breathed new life into her. It ignited her spirit in a way that an allegro con brio did with its fast tempo and powerful dynamic. As she held her gaze on the white mare, Vinyl's eyes burned with fire and brilliance that was only matched by her love for the DJ. Octavia pressed her forehead into her marefriends as they continued to dance like the moon that had finally found its sun. Octavia opened her eyes as the DJ transitioned seamlessly to a more popular DJ Pon-3 song to the crowd's roar. Octavia lingered as the sounds of music filled the club, not noise, music. She readjusted herself on the stool, ready to enjoy her marefriends music in a new light. After finishing her set, DJ Pon-3 departed from the booth to thunderous applause. Octavia lingered in pure elation as she mused over the incredible combination of their passions flawlessly. Her heart swelled as Vinyl appeared from backstage. Octavia leaped from her stool and rushed to Vinyl, bowling over a couple of displeased ponies before jumping at the unsuspecting DJ. "You were amazing!" Octavia exclaimed, giving her marefriend a deep kiss. "I guess you liked it despite the mistakes!" Octavia grabbed the DJ's cheeks and silenced her with another passionate kiss. "Stop it. You were brilliant! I can't even begin to describe how much I love you right now!" "Well, if you're gonna be like this, I should drag you out here for classical remixes more often," Vinyl teased as they resumed their public display of affection to the crowd's murmurs. "So, what're you drinking?" Vinyl asked as the pair returned to the bar. "Oh, just water." "Pfft, you need something better than that!" Vinyl teased, flagging down a bartender. "Hey, Julep, can I get a drink?" The pegasus from before fluttered her way over to them, pulling out two fresh glasses. "You were on point tonight, Vinyl; I've never heard anything like that opening song before," Julep exclaimed, flashing a smile at Vinyl. "I had some inspirational assistance," Vinyl joked with a wink. Julep grinned at the loving couple before turning to the liquor shelf behind her. "Will it be the usual then?" "Yes, two please." The bartender pulled two glasses from the backlit wall behind her and dipped them into a tray full of party salts. Julep placed them on the wooden bar and plucked a turquoise bottle from the colorful array of liquors housed in a metal tub. She tossed the selected bottle into the air, hastily retrieving a silver drink mixer and a bottle with a transparent liquid with a frighteningly high alcoholic percentage. Setting the silver mixer down, Julep pirouetted, catching the airborne bottle with a wing. She deftly swept both bottles in her wingspread, twirling them in her feathers as she swayed to the beat of the music. As more eyes fell upon the dancing pegasus, she flung the two bottles into the air, giving her just enough time to split the mixer. Catching the bottles in her wings, she poured their contents into the taller half of the mixer before placing them back in the metal tub. Grabbing the mixer, she added a tablespoon of crystal-like substance before closing the container, shaking it vigorously, and pouring the contents into the patient pair of glasses. "Here you go." Julep gave a slight bow to the applause of onlookers before sliding the drinks in front of them. Octavia eyed the aqua drink as she swirled its contents around the glass. She studied the little particles that bounced around inside the liquid as they refracted the light, almost giving them a diamond aesthetic. "It'll be fine," Vinyl assured her, giving Octavia a nudge before draining the glass in one fluid motion. "The best part is the salt around the rim," Vinyl pointed out as she ran her tongue around it, causing a faint tremor to course through her body. Octavia continued to eye the glass as Vinyl rested her cheeks on her forehooves, waiting for her to try it. Octavia knocked back the liquid in one swift motion, ignoring the burn as it ran down her throat. Closing her eyes, she quickly ran her tongue around the rim of the glass as a weird tingling sensation coursed through her. "Damn, you never cease to amaze me!" Vinyl wrapped Octavia in an embrace and gave her a nuzzle. Vinyl motioned to the bartender for a refill as they sat at the bar, enjoying each other's company. They giggled at the absurdity of some of the outfits on display or pointed out overly provocative dancing from some ponies. After having a couple of Vinyl's 'favorite drinks,' Octavia felt the tug of her marefriend on her forehoof. "What?" "I want to show you something," Vinyl said with a mischievous smile. Octavia gave an excited nod as Vinyl told Julep to add it to her tab before urging Octavia to follow her. Sliding off the stool, Octavia's head began to swim as her hooves hit the floor. Concentrating as hard as she could to keep her head clear, Octavia followed her marefriend up several staircases and dark hallways, eventually stopping at a random metal door. "Where are you taking me?" Vinyl smiled as she opened the door and led Octavia onto the rooftop. As the pair neared the edge, Octavia's eyes grew in wonder as they overlooked all of Canterlot's entertainment district. The vibrant coruscating lights contrasted beautifully against Canterlot's softer ambiance. With each building projected its alluring hues as ponies bustled about. The pulsing of the distant music continued to echo through the night sky. "It's beautiful," Octavia whispered as she put her forehooves on the rail. "Yeah, I come up here when I want to clear my head," she confided, joining Octavia at the rail. "Why haven't you shown me this before?" "I could never get you anywhere close without you giving me an excuse." Octavia hung her head as she regretted every beautiful missed opportunity. "Sorry." "It's okay." Vinyl leaned in to give Octavia a kiss on the cheek. "You're here now, and that's all that matters." Octavia nuzzled her marefriend as they took in the resplendent lights that gave Canterlot a nice pop against the scenic backdrop. "I think we should head home." "Why?" "You know why," Octavia teased, flicking her tail at Vinyl's face. "Oh! Let's." The DJ nodded vigorously as they headed for the door. Octavia rolled over, her head pounding like a timpani drum as a forehoof searched for her marefriend. "Vinyl, what in Tartarus did we do last night?" Even though Vinyl was not the cuddling type, she was always within hooves' reach when the DJ decided to sleep in. "Vinyl?" Octavia called out hesitantly, failing to find Vinyl's soft coat in her hazy search. As she opened her eyes, revealing an undisturbed section of the bed. Worry clouded her mind as she hastily surveyed the room, realizing it was not hers. Pulling the covers to her face as she tried to put the pieces together. Octavia knew that she had gone home with Vinyl; they were heading upstairs as she was teasing Vinyl as they went into the bedroom, and... No. That had been weeks before Vinyl took that temp job, and they moved to Ponyville. That means they were in Ponyville; drawing upon more recent memories, she recalled doing a thing for Twilight. Octavia remembered going to the castle, playing in the library, going through the... Mirror! Jumping out of bed, Octavia's rear hooves connected with the floor a lot sooner than she anticipated causing her to knock her head, triggering images of last night to flash to life. Octavia pressed her hand into her temple to quell her pounding head before climbing onto her hooves, or rather her feet. As she stood up, her body began to sway as if she was still under the influence of Vinyl's concoctions. Luckily she was able to reorient herself rather quickly with minimal staggering. Taking the small victory, Octavia decided to make her way over to the bathroom so she could clean herself up. Venturing from her safe haven, Octavia noticed the eerie silence that loomed in the apartment. Cautiously she tip-toed around the apartment, expecting something to jump out at her. After successfully making it to the bathroom entrance, she recalled Jacen saying he would be gone because of work. She sighed in relief and took a step onto the tile retracting her foot at the biting cold. Why were feet so sensitive? Steeling her body, she attempted again as she caught something moving from the corner of her eye. Jumping back, she prepared to buck the Tartarus out of somepony before seeing who it was. "It's just you," she reassured herself, sighing. "You're the only one here." The relief that had come quickly disappeared as she could finally fully observe the extent of her transformation. Hesitantly she stepped towards the mirror, grabbing onto the side of the basin to get a closer look at her new features. She was relieved that she retained her lavender irises, but her pristine mane was disheveled to the point that it gave Vinyl a run for her bits. However, that was where the similarities ended, running her hand across her diminished muzzle. It had been significantly reduced and contorted to the points where her chin and nose were. Turning her head, she was taken aback by how her nose protruded from her face coming to a small point. Even her beautiful grey coat was replaced with this pale, hairless skin. She did not realize how drastic the change had been to the point where she barely recognized herself. Questions began to ravage her mind as fear seized her heart like a vice grip, tightening with every question. Would Vinyl even recognize her? Would she accept her if she did? No. Vinyl was the only pony to see Octavia for everything she was, flaws and all. Thinking about it, that crazy mare would probably believe this is the coolest thing about transforming into some entirely different creature. Octavia giggled at the thought of Vinyl raving about all of her new features and how she hated how she was the one that got to experience this. She took a step back to see her entire self in the mirror and noted how long her legs were. Octavia wondered if that meant she could finally reach that top shelf where Vinyl would hide all of her favorite snacks. Octavia let out a heavy sigh; she knew it wouldn't matter until she found a way home. Taking a moment, Octavia did her best to brush out her mane to have some resemblance to its usual style. Returning to the bedroom, Octavia's eyes began to drift, noticing how emptier the apartment was. Thinking about it, this was probably the only time she would be able to explore his apartment without Jacen's looming presence nearby. Looking around the living room, the white suit of armor caught her eye. She took several cautionary steps toward it. She knew it wasn't going to move, but it looked like it might at any moment. The suit remained still as she reached out to touch it. As the cold polished plastic reached the tips of her hand, she released the breath she didn't know she was holding. Octavia traced the contours of the armor, guessing at what each symbol and button was for, like an archeologist studying a mysterious relic. Running the tips of her hand down the polished surface, she noticed gaps between the plates, warranting further exploration. Reaching underneath, the familiar textures of elastic and polyester jumped to mind as she gently brushed the material with the tip of her hand. The costume armor made Octavia think back to her times wandering backstage before the orchestra's warm-up. She'd sometimes see racks of costumes from the Equestrian Society's theatrical troupe. One expected such exquisite costumes to be woven of the finest thread Canterlot had to offer. However, one touch of the garment revealed just how simple the material was. Seeing somepony taking such crude fabrics and spinning them into something visually enchanting was genuinely inspiring. Octavia took a step back to take in the set as a whole. The morning sun pouring through the window painted the white sentinel in a different light. It stood like any dutiful guard she'd find posted at castle gates. Turning around, Octavia spotted a wine cabinet with dusty bottles on the far wall next to the door. Above the storage area, she saw four picture frames that stood in an orderly line. As she got closer, Octavia noticed they were all pictures of the white costume. Three of the four frames were of someone—probably Jacen—posing in the armor. However, the last one was different. She picked up the wooden frame inspecting the sea of white guards. They all stood in formation on a massive staircase. She tried to find Jacen but couldn't spot him amid the mass of costumed warriors despite his imposing stature. Returning the picture to its proper place, she squatted down to inspect the mysterious bottles. Running her hand across one of them, she was surprised at how much dust was caked on her hand. Pulling the black bottle out, which had a strange sea creature on the white label. Returning it, she inspected the rest of the slots to see different shades coated in a fine layer of dust. Octavia studied the mysterious liquids before a familiar glint of lacquered wood caught her discerning eye. She peered around the corner and spotted a guitar resting on its stand. She was familiar enough with other stringed instruments to play a few notes, but the notion left as quickly as it came as she looked over her unfamiliar appendages. "I wonder if you're at least tuned," seeing how more than a few ponies would buy the instrument in hopes of learning to play it and getting bored with it in a couple of days, allowing it to spend the rest of its time collecting dust. She quickly checked her surroundings before awkwardly picking up the guitar. Not trusting her stability, she promptly sat on the couch, placing the instrument on her legs. Letting out a calming breath, Octavia curled her left hand around the neck of the guitar. Balling up her right hand, she ran the edge across the E string. As the cord vibrated its deep tone, Octavia hummed softly to see if it was in tune. Satisfied with the minor flatness, she repeated the process with the other five strings noticing how much harder it was to pluck the single strings the further down she got. Trying the lower strings again, Octavia felt a sharp pain shoot through her left pastern towards her hand. Shaking out the discomfort, she returned her left hand, bending at her pastern, causing the pain to return. "Huh," she muttered as she studied her new appendage, opening, and closing. Taking the neck of the guitar, Octavia placed it in the middle of her hand, wrapping the individual claws around it. To her surprise, it felt natural as it rested in her new hoof. Taking her free hand, she placed them on the strings individually, noting how much easier it was compared to her hoof. Strumming the guitar, Octavia's eyes began to drift around the apartment. It had all the standard furnishings one would expect, and at least he kept it consistent by having all-black furniture that contrasted nicely against the white walls. One thing was glaringly apparent as she looked at the finer details: Somepony merely existed here. It was as if it was a hollow shell void of life. All she'd have to do was remove a couple of items, which would easily be mistaken for a model room. The only thing that felt alive was the errant notes she was playing. Loneliness started to creep into her mind as she returned her attention to the guitar to suppress the thought. Octavia heard a metal bolt sliding, followed by the front door creaking open. Jumping out of the seat, she bounded over to the stand while the guitar voiced displeasure as she set it down. She wasn't about to be the rude house guest touching his property unbeknownst to him. Coming around the corner, Octavia couldn't help but be taken aback by the significant difference in apparel from the day before. He was covered head to toe in all variations of dark blue formed into tiny squares and strewed across the uniform in an unorthodox manner. She could not discern why somepony would wear that let alone have it all match except for the shoes. "Hello." Her greeting fell upon deaf ears as he slammed his back into the wall and slid down to the floor. After tossing his hat off to the side, he began tearing at the laces of his black shoes like snakes coiled around his legs. Octavia hesitated for a moment, rubbing her hand along her arm, contemplating if he heard or was ignoring her. "Jacen?" He whipped his head around at the startling sound of his name, catching Octavia by surprise. His shock lasted only a second. "Oh, hey," Jacen replied quickly before he turned his attention back to his boots, removing them more calmly as he tried to catch his breath. Once freed of their bindings, he haphazardly dumped them on the floor. "Sorry, you caught me off guard." "Oh, my apologies." "No-no-no! It's okay. I'm just used to coming back to an empty apartment, is all. I completely forgot you were here," Jacen quickly said, giving her a weak smile before rising to his full height. "But I'm glad you decided to stick around." "Those are some interesting clothes," Octavia said, pointing to his uniform. "Yeah, the Navy likes to keep things nautical," he replied as he spun slowly around to show her his on-duty outfit. "If you could give me a second so I can change. It's not the most comfortable thing to be in." Octavia nodded as Jacen brushed past her. "It's okay, you'll be fine," Jacen kept muttering until he reached his bedroom, closing the door behind him. Octavia turned back towards the front door, wondering if that was how he always took off his shoes. Before she could give it more thought, Jacen reemerged in a new outfit that looked much lighter than he had on previously. However, his shoulders were still tense, surveying the room like he was on edge for some reason. "Did you have a good day doing the Navy thing?" "I'm fine!" he answered quickly before correcting himself. "It was just a, um, interesting day doing the 'Navy thing.'" "Why was it interesting?" she inquired further. "Well you see," he stammered as eyes darted every which way, searching for an answer. "We just had to work on our equipment." "Oh, what made it interesting?" "Contractors come out and build scaffolding below our platform so we could open the panels below our radar. So basically, we were hanging off the side of the ship about four stories above the water." "That's pretty high up." "Yeah. What made it really fun was that scaffolding was grated, so you could look down and literally see the water below you." Considering the old adage was to not look down, the thought of seeing through the only thing keeping her from falling didn't sit well with her. "I can see how that could be… jarring." "Nah, it wasn't that bad. We were wearing harnesses the whole time," Jacen clarified before his eyes shifted past Octavia. Octavia turned her head in the direction Jacen was facing as a cold sweat broke out. Biting her tongue, Jacen made his way over and picked up the guitar. It was becoming too much on her conscious as Jacen studied the instrument. "I'm sorry," Octavia blurted out, trying to ease her guilt. "I was playing with your guitar earlier." "Why?" He asked, not deviating his eyes from the instrument. "Because I find music comforting," she confided, rubbing her arm. "Can you play?" He turned towards her with intrigue. "No," she said flatly, remembering how awkward it was playing without hooves. "Do you play?" "I can, but if I can play well is a totally different matter," he joked while fidgeting with the instrument. "What does that mean?" "I'm still learning, so don't expect some ridiculous guitar solos or amazing riffs," he joked, placing the guitar back on the stand with the strap tucked neatly behind it. "Everypony has to start somewhere," she stated, remembering when her instructor would make her play a section repeatedly because she missed a single note. "It takes an exceptional pony to be able to pick up an instrument and be brilliant at it." Jacen started eyeing her, perplexed about something. "True." "What made you want to guitar?" She asked quickly. "Good question," he said, rubbing the back of his neck as he turned his head up. "I guess it's because I was in band during middle and high school, and I still wanted to play. So I chose the guitar because I thought it was cool." "Interesting," Octavia stated, remembering that she played the cello because she thought the same thing. "Did you perform by yourself, or were you part of a quartet, or were you a part of an orchestra?" "Yeah, I was in an orchestra-style band with all the woodwind, brass, and percussion instruments. However, it wasn't a traditional orchestra because we had no string instruments." "Really?" She was happy to have met somepony that had a musical background. "What instrument did you play?" Jacen shifted around as he tugged at his shirt. "Clarinet." "Clarinet, really?" Octavia chortled at the thought of this behemoth playing such a tiny instrument. "They wouldn't let you play the bass clarinet or contra?" "Yeah, laugh it up," Jacen shot back, not sharing her amusement. "And no, that section was already filled up, plus you can't march with a contra clarinet." "I'm sorry," she quickly said, trying to lighten the mood. "But the thought of you playing such a petite instrument caught me unexpectedly off guard." "And now you see why I decided to pick up the guitar," he said dryly. "I meant no offense. The instrument I play is bigger than me." "Really? What instrument do you play?" Jacen asked. "The cello." "Cello?" Jacen clarified, sizing her up. "A cello is not bigger than you," he pointed out. As Octavia was about to snap back, however, seeing how much smaller the guitar was compared to her new body, she wasn't so sure. "You're probably right," she conceded. "I perform in an orchestra back home, but I also perform in a quartet and other ensembles; it just depends on what the organizer wants." "Like professionally?" "Yes," she said, thinking back to all the venues she had played at. "It's allowed me to travel extensively and play in the most resplendent venues." "What were some of your favorites?" he asked, leaning on the couch. "The Royal Concert Hall in Canterlot would have to be my favorite since it was the first big concert I played in. I also played for a Royal wedding and at a Crystal Palace..." Octavia trailed off as the events that led her here flashed to life. "Wow, that's really cool," he said with a whistle. "We didn't do anything like that." "Where did you perform?" "We mostly played at football stadiums, but sometimes we would play at college concert halls when it was really fancy." "The venues matter little to me. The music we got to perform was the part that mattered," Octavia said with a faint smile. "Yeah, we didn't get to perform any epic scores like y'all probably did," he stated, pushing off the couch. "All I remember from that time is how tedious it was and being forced to practice all the time. All it did was prevent me from doing other things," he groaned. "Like what?" "I don't know," he blurted out, pulling at the back of his neck. "Like I wanted to try out for football, and my mom said no, I needed to see this through." "Football?" "Yeah, the American version, not the UK one," Jacen clarified, hanging his head. "But it doesn't matter; it's in the past." "So what happened?" "She made me finish my last year of band even though I hated it," Jacen stated with a heavy sigh. "Why did you hate it?" Jacen let out another sigh as he started to pace. "Because it's stupid hot in Texas, and we were constantly outside marching until it was dark. Then we had to perform at all the Football games, killing any time I would have to spend with friends. Not to mention, it's high school, and kids aren't the kindest people when it comes to things that they deem not cool." "What would they say?" "What? The kids?" Jacen clarified. Octavia nodded. "Oh, the usual stuff of being a nerd who lives in their mother's basement and has no social skills. Or being called gay, even though I don't see how it was an insult, it still bothered to be because it's not masculine. Or my favorite, telling me how it looks ridiculous that someone so large plays such a petite instrument," Jacen said, shooting her an icy glare. Octavia shrank back. "Oh, right.." "It's fine," he said with a dismissive wave. "People will be assholes to make themselves feel better." Octavia thought back to when she was at primary school, and she would be picked on for the same things until she transferred schools and met Vinyl. "Not everypony is like that." Jacen stopped pacing; his eyes became transfixed on the floor. "True, but in my experience, the assholes have won out." Octavia bit her lower lip as unspoken tension built into the room. Searching the room to divert the conversation, she spotted the pictures on the cabinet by the guitar. "I was wondering if you could tell me about those pictures," she asked hesitantly. "What?" He snapped, wiping his head toward her. "The pictures," Octavia repeated, hesitantly pointing behind her. "Oh those pictures. What about them?" "They look," she paused, trying to find the appropriate descriptor. "Interesting." "Really?" His eyes went wide with genuine surprise. "These were taken at Celebration." "Celebration?" Octavia watched as he moved around the couch to collect one of the frames, picking it up delicately in his hands like it would shatter on contact. "It's like a specific convention for Star Wars fans that happens every year. I was lucky that they approved my leave so I could drive down to Florida to attend. It's a lot of fun because you get to meet a ton of fans from all around the world," He explained, lost in the picture in his hands. "Like this picture!" He turned the frame towards Octavia. "This was taken at Cocoa Beach; it's probably one of my favorite photos because it looks like I'm on Scariff." "Scariff?" "One of the tropical planets in a Star Wars movie." A smile creased his lips. "We did our best to recreate the movie posters but this was as close as we got." Octavia picked up the frame he was talking about, seeing other people in similar costumes in the background. "Are those your friends in the picture?" Jacen's eyes saddened as his smile faded from existence. "Kind of, we did have a lot of fun taking those photos, but I couldn't tell you their names." "I'm surprised none of you did any proper introductions," she said in dismay; even in the most informal situations, Octavia did her best to introduce herself and ask for others' names. "We did," he stated, pressing his hand into the side of his head. "I just have a hard time remembering people's names." "Why is that?" "It's just one of the wonderful ways my brain works," he acknowledged sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "I'm sorry to hear that," she said softly. "It's fine," he said sharply. "It must be hard dealing with that." Jacen nodded his head. "I've been dealing with it my whole life; I just have a hard time remembering things." "What other things do you have a hard time remembering?" "Everything," Jacen said sharply, rubbing his hand on the side of his head. "I have a hard time remembering even simple shit and people get frustrated with me because of that." "How often do you forget things?" "Almost everyday," he said, shifting his hand to his forehead. "Every day?" She blurted out, thinking about how frustrating it would be to tell somepony repeatedly the same thing every day. "I can kind of see why someone might get frustrated if it happens almost every day." "It's not like I have a choice," he snapped, rubbing his forehead. "I hate my brain so much because of it. All it does is piss people off." "Is inability to remember things making it hard for you to have friends?" "Yes... I mean, no... I don't know," he stammered, putting his face in his hands. "People are just assholes to me regardless." "Everypony..." "It's everybody Octavia," Jacen cut her off, gripping the top of the couch. "Everybody and yes, everybody that I have met has treated me like shit for the things I like!" Octavia's breath hitched in her throat at the outburst. Everything about him showed that he was ready to strike at anybody who came near except his eyes, which showed insurmountable fear and pain. His eyes were just as expressive as Vinyl's, and he was hurting bad. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "No, you're not," Jacen replied with malice. "But I am..." "Enough!" Jacen roared, rising to his full height as his eyes burned with rage. "You know absolutely nothing about me, and you have the gall to come in here and lie straight to my face. If you had the slightest inkling of what I have been through, you would not have the audacity to say those things," Jacen seethed, articulating every word that made Octavia's blood run cold. Octavia remained frozen in terror at the unbridled rage that Jacen had just displayed. The only saving grace was that he stood fixed behind the couch, keeping his distance from her. Octavia's eyes darted to the bedroom door, contemplating making a run for the only safe haven she knew. "Octavia, I'm..." Octavia gave him a brief glance catching the panic in his eyes as he cautiously extended a hand toward her. She bolted from her spot, praying that Jacen wouldn't give chase. Reaching the last vestige of safety, Octavia slammed the door shut and pressed her back into it. Sliding down to the floor, she pulled her knees to her chest as her heart pounded in her ears. Octavia buried her face into her knees, begging to be free of this waking nightmare. She just wanted to be back at the bar, watching ponies trot past them while in Vinyl's embrace, keeping her safe from the strangers around them. Octavia waited in suspense for Jacen to continue his tirade or, worse, break through the door. Shaking, she hugged her legs as tight as possible, wishing Vinyl was here. This was the end. She wasn't going to return home. Wetness formed on her knees as the thought of never seeing Vinyl again tore her heart apart. Regret made her stomach turn as all the missed opportunities to spend with Vinyl flashed to life. She had failed her marefriend. She hated herself for not taking Vinyl up on her offers sooner because little did she know that it was her last. Minutes passed with nothing, not even a single outburst directed at her. "God, you're such... idiot, now she's... scared of you." "Wait, what?" Octavia tried to calm her breathing and pressed an ear to the door. Octavia searched as she tried to think of a safe way to see him. As her eyes ventured to the base of the door, she noticed a gap between the carpet and the door. Laying as flat as she could, Octavia peered through the opening to spot Jacen's feet in front of a chair far from the bedroom. From this angle, Octavia couldn't tell if he was standing or sitting. Standing up, Octavia contemplated if a quick peek would be worth the risk of Jacen spotting her. Listening to Jacen again as she attempted to discern the distance. Octavia let out a heavy sigh figuring that this was her best opportunity; slowly twisting the knob, she cracked open the door just enough to see him. Opening the door slightly more, Octavia saw the behemoth hunched over, eyes fixed on the floor, shaking his head. Gripping the doorknob, she thought about what to do; what would Vinyl do? Her mind drifted to when she was getting ready to go to Twilight's castle and her panic state. Her mind tortured her with the possibility of failing in front of the princess, jeopardizing her and Vinyl's future, further exacerbating her stress. Even as the weight of the world relentlessly drove her down, Vinyl knew how to make it better; she always knew. Celestia, why wasn't Vinyl here to tell her what to say? Vinyl wasn't here; pressing her head into the door, she had to do something. "Jacen..." Jacen's head shot up, surprised to see her. "I'm so sorry for yelling at you," he said softly before placing his head in his hands. Octavia wanted to say it was okay, but she'd be lying. "I understand if you want to leave," he said quietly, wiping a tear away. "I've chased everyone else off." "I'll pay for a hotel if you need me to." He pressed his hands into his eyes and let out long, controlled breaths. "I should've known better than to keep you here. It's not safe." "Okay," Octavia said softly. Jacen did not move or react to her answer giving the impression that she was making the right choice. Slowly she walked towards the front door keeping an eye on him in case it was a ruse. However, as Octavia neared the front door, the sensation of a missed opportunity gnawed at her mind. But, this was the safer option, even he admitted it. Grabbing the doorknob, deep regret swelled in her stomach, causing her to turn back towards Jacen. No, she wasn't going to make the same mistake twice. "You have," she said timidly, keeping a firm grip on the door. "You let a complete stranger into your home because you wanted to help." "Yeah," Jacen said, rocking back into his chair and releasing a heavy sigh. "And look what good it did. You'd be better off without me." Octavia chewed on her lower lip, thinking of what to say next. She had actually never given it any thought as to how different her situation would be if she never ran into Jacen. Touching her wound, he still wanted to help despite her lashing out at him. He even was patient with her when she struggled to walk. He showed no discontent for her even when she was being difficult. Thinking about it, she would probably still be out there all alone in if Jacen hadn't been there for her. "That's not true," she said, stepping away from the front door and coming around to where Jacen was seated. "I find that hard to believe," Jacen said sarcastically, keeping his eyes glued to the floor. "It is," she said firmly. "You helped me when nopony..." Jacen eyed her as Octavia fumbled to find the correct word. "Nobody would help me." "That's because I felt bad for running into you," he said quietly, sighing. Octavia let out a frustrated sigh; the pity party was starting to annoy her. "You still helped me even after I bucked you." "Yeah." A faint smile creased his lips while he rubbed his chest. "That was a fun little surprise, but what was I supposed to do? Just leave you there alone?" "You could of." "No," he said quietly. "Then why did you?" Octavia said firmly. "Why help me?" "You were hurt, scared, and alone," he countered, his eyes locking with Octavia's before drifting to the floor. "I thought I could help you and at least feel like I was making the right choice. You know?" Jacen's eyes returned to hers, brimming with complicated sorrow. "Doing something good for someone else, like how everyone preaches all the time. But, even with good intentions, it still bites me in the ass." "No," she said confidently. Octavia wouldn't let him berate himself for showing a complete stranger compassion, a virtue most cherished in Equestria. "Jacen, you showed me compassion when you helped me with walking and told me stories that made me feel less scared." "Really?" "Yes," Octavia said confidently; there was no turning back. "And I want to apologize..." "For what? You did nothing wrong." "Jacen," she said firmly. "Let me finish." Jacen nodded. "I have a..." Octavia hesitated as she tried to find the right words to say. While Vinyl was her rock, she didn't want to get her involved in case things didn't work out. The less these weird ponies know about Equestria, the better. "I have a friend I live with, and we get into arguments from time to time. I'm known to have difficulty letting things go. I've also been known to voice my displeasure long after making my point clear to them." Octavia gripped her arm as her chest began to tighten. "This is where you're better than me, Jacen. You didn't chase me and continue yelling at me like I would. You gave me space so I could calm down and think clearly. It allowed me to see my mistakes and made me realize why my roommate would try to leave our confrontations. They just wanted space so they wouldn't say something in the heat of the moment that either of us would regret later." Octavia hung her head in defeat. "I know I have. That is why I want to apologize for asking you too many personal questions," she confided, rubbing her hand along her foreleg. "I wanted to know who I was dealing with now, and I let my nerves get to me. I hope you can forgive me." Jacen's eyes went wide for a brief second before shifting to the ground. "Okay," he said flatly.