CHAPTER 57
Crossover with Nathan Traveler's "Omnius's Travels: Equestria"
AUTHORS NOTE: So... I read this series of stories, called Kidnapped. Here, have some links. READ IT.
"Ohhhh... Me head..." I woke up, immediately feeling the after effects of being knocked out in one hit.
"Ah, you're awake!"
"Huh?" I looked over and saw a pony. He was wearing a blue jacket, glasses, and had a goatee-like growth on his face. He reminded me of Gordon Freeman.
"So... How the heck did you get into Equestria?"
"Wait wait wait... Before you start asking ME questions, lemme ask you one: Who are you?"
"Well, everyone calls me Nathan Traveler, but I prefer to go by Omnius. Charmed, I'm sure."
"Freakin' ECSTATIC. Now... How do we get out of here?"
"Well, I have an idea."
"And what would that be?"
He closed his eyes, falling into deep concentration. Then, he became taller, more muscular, his coat was a rust red color, he had armor on his back and legs, his eyes were glowing in a sunset-like color, and I could tell that his temper had flared. He walked over to the cell door, and started throwing rapid bucks at it, all the while shouting "AKAKAKAKA" like Kenshiro. If you don't know who that is, then I feel sorry for you.
The cell door was bent every which way, and fell right over. Omnius' muscles deflated, and he leaned on the wall.
"Wow... That really took it out of me."
"Well, get up. We've got some other ponies to save." I grabbed a piece of metal that had flown off the door in Omnius' blind rage.
"So... What is your name, then?"
"Kyle."
"Ah. Well, what's your plan?"
"Beat the crap out of anyone we see, and just walk around until we find my friends."
"... You're just making this up as you go along, aren't you?"
I did my best Big Mac impression. "Eeyup."
"Wow, you sounded a lot like Big Mac there."
"You know him?"
"Yeah, I've been in Equestria for a while now."
"Huh. Amazing that I never saw you around."
"I've been in another world for a bit now..."
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!"
A big, husky man in a black suit ran up to us.
"OK, I don't know how you two got out, but you're going right back in."
I promply responded by kicking him right in the "sensitive area" of a man. Y'all know what I'm talking about.
He fell over, groaning.
"Do you always hurt people out of nowhere?"
"Well, lets see... I'm a slightly unstable sixteen year old boy, with a long history of dangerous schemes and violence. What do you think?"
"Oh... Kyle, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship!"
The man started to get up.
"Hey, Omnius... Give him a quick kick."
"Sure." He reared back, and then kicked the man square in the side of the head. "HOOF TO THE HEAD!"
"Very original..."
"Shut up..."
"Let's keep walking... Hey, a storage room." I walked inside, and saw a few empty cardboard boxes. Me and Omnius looked at each other, smiling. We were thinking the same thing.
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We were both under cardboard boxes, and trying not to laugh.
"You know, if this actually works, I'm gonna laugh."
"Kyle... OK, I can't even argue. I will too."
"Oh! Shhh... Someones coming..."
We huddled into a corner, and stopped moving.
"Hm?" A guard walked over, and looked at Omnius' box, then to mine. "I'd better tell those janitors to get off their lazy butts and do some work for once..."
He walked away. We stood up, removing the boxes to get some fresh air.
"That actually worked, didn't it?" We were both trying to stifle a laugh.
"Yes, yes it did. And this is why I'm glad I ended up falling into Equestria one day. Our world is full of idiots..."
"Yeah, well, with how many worlds I've been to, you see some pretty stupid things, but that takes the cake."
"Wait, you've been to different worlds?" I looked at him, confused.
"Yeah. How did you get back here from Equestria anyways?"
"I came with The Doctor."
"You're kidding..." He stared at me in disbelief.
"What, you know him?"
"Know him? We're like best buds, he and I! Well, the human one at least..."
"Huh... Alrighty then, let's keep moving... Hey, how come you are still a pony? Wouldn't you do the same thing The Doctor did? Well... Until now... The TARDIS got all messed up, so everypony is still just that: A pony."
"Huh. Well, this guy named Torrentican got me with Poison Joke..."
"You don't need to explain any further. I know how THAT stuff feels..." I shuddered.
"Ugh... Well, let's keep moving, shall we?"
"Good idea. Allons-y!"
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We had been wandering for the good part of ten minutes. Omnius decided to strike up conversation again.
"So... You and Dashie?"
"Yeah? What about us?"
"You tapped that flank?"
"You wanna die?" I stared at him, some anger starting to build up. I do NOT need this right now...
"Well, I can't die, but don't hit me. You see, I heard about it, but I thought you were a pony..."
"So what, are you grossed out or something?"
"No, of course not. As long as you two are happy, you have the Traveler Seal Of Approval."
"Good. Now I don't have to beat you senseless, and then some."
"You really are a violent person, aren't you?"
"I thought we had already established that."
"Good point... I think we're gonna be good friends, you and I!"
We walked past a room, and I took a brief look in a window. But then I did a double take, and jumped back to said window, staring through. I saw a room, with all of my friends chained down. A few scientists were wheeling in a cart with dissecting tools.
And then the blind rage kicked in. The door's lock was weak. I ran into it a few times, and it broke down. I started grabbing everything in sight, and throwing it at guards and scientists. Computer screens, trays, test tubes, chairs, you name it. After large amounts of property damage and injuries to others, I calmed down. Everyone in the room was out cold, or had run away.
"Erm... You OK?"
I was breathing heavily. "Yes... I feel... Satisfied..."
I grabbed a key off of a guard, and unlocked all of my friends, who were all unconscious. I noticed that only The Doctor, Rose, and Derpy were here... And they were all knocked out.
"Oh for the love of- WHERE ARE THE OTHERS?"
"Hey, I'm just Nathan Traveler, not a psychic."
I walked out into another hallway, and saw a cell at the end. Zephyr and Dashie were there. When I approached, Dashie looked up at me, relieved. But Zeph kept staring at the wall.
"Oh, good. I was wondering when you would get here." Apparently she had expected me to break out. Wow.
"Hey, Dashie... What's with Zeph?"
"He was freaking out, and hit a dude in a white coat. A guard stabbed him with a needle..."
"Tranquilizer..." Me and Omnius spoke at once.
Zeph then tried to get up, and walked into the wall. I smacked him on the side of the head.
"SNAP OUT OF IT."
He shook his head, and stared at me. Then he just started laughing.
"You have GOT to be kidding me... Omnius, any ideas?"
"Well... You have a piece of metal..."
"I don't wanna hurt him..."
Dashie looked at Zeph, then back to me. "I don't think you have a choice."
Zeph was still laughing and walking into walls. Yeah, no choice.
BONK.
Zeph fell over. I felt a twinge of regret, but hey, at least he wasn't slamming into walls.
Dashie got him up on her back.
"Are you sure you can carry him?"
"Kyle, have you forgotten who you're talking to?"
I rolled my eyes. We all went back to the experiment room to see if everypony was awake. They were.
Rose approached me, looking at the broken bits of stuff and unconscious people around her. "Did you do all this?"
"Yeah, I did. Why do you ask?"
"Oh... No reason, just checking..."
"Fantastic breakout you two! Hey, who's this one then?"
"You broke a bunch of clocks over my head, how can you not remember me?"
"No... That wasn't me."
"Oh! Wait, that's the PONY you! It's me, Omnius!"
"Oh! Fancy that! It's great to see you again, Omnius!"
"So... How do we get out of here?" Derpy was looking around the room frantically... I think.
"Well, how about we follow the signs that say 'Exit?'" The Doctor pointed to a sign on the wall. Oh.
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After leaving the base with surprisingly no trouble, we had gone back to the TARDIS. When I went to step in, The Doctor blocked me.
"Ah-ah-ah, you know what has to happen."
"I'm wanted by the government! What do I do?"
"Well... I dunno... But if Equestria is to stay in one piece, you stay here." Curse you time for being all wibbley wobbly.
I held my head low. Dashie was already inside, expecting me. "Alright... I guess I'll stay... Goodbye, Doctor."
"Goodbye." He stepped inside. The TARDIS began to fluctuate, and disappeared.
I was stuck back on Earth.
But, I had forgotten one thing.
"Hey, you don't wanna miss your wedding with The Dashter, now do you?"
I spun around. Omnius was still with me.
"How did yo-?"
"Dude. You're wearing a ring that matches Dash's earrings. I may be dumb, but I ain't stupid. Now, just hold onto my coat, and hope for the best!"
I grabbed his coat. I closed my eyes, and I felt very strange.
I woke up under a tree, in an open field. Ponyville was a half a mile away.
"Erm... I think I forgot to carry the two..."
"Well, lets get walking..." I stood up.
The Doctor can't keep ME down.