//------------------------------//
// Chapter 4: Restless 
// Story: A Kindled Change 
// by Darkevony 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 4 

Restless


I am restless. In the murky darkness of my mind, I am taken back to a time long lost. As I come to, the night sky is replaced by thick dark clouds of smoke with embers dancing all around me. Ash is being swept up by the wind creating a black and grey rain. A malicious orange light fills the darkness. It flickers violently, creating monstrous shadows. My lungs are consumed by heat as I gasp for air. The wooden ceiling of the small house I'm in creaks and shatters as it falls around me in every direction, giving way to the sight of a living hellscape.


(Illustration by LuckyEd on DeviantArt.)

My world is burning. The fire rampages on top of everything it touches. The words they whisper are filled with violence and turmoil. They know no morality, and they scream out into the night in a deafening roar, taking the stars away with them. The ground is covered in coarse black ash and it burns to the touch. My legs become singed with the dormant embers beneath the powdery layer.

My vision is blurred by the elements. I become blind. Truly blind. I can hardly see the vague outlines of those dancing fires, and slowly, my vision fades altogether. My eyes are gauged by the flames and pain constricts around my body in a deadly hold. I want to scream, but my chest hurts when I breathe. I want to run, but my legs won't work. I want to cry, but it is drowned out in the chaos of my plight. 

I am filled with despair.

"Hurry! She's got to be here somewhere!"







I awake short of breath, panting for what air I can fill my lungs with. Warm tears roll down my cold numb cheeks. It had been so long since last I had that dream, that my tears now felt hollow and devoid of feeling. It was hard to think that it was me in that picture, for if it had actually happened, then I have long, long forgotten. Yet there was real fear in those images and trying to remember anything about that dream had become physically uncomfortable to do.

The moon had now moved to the center of the sky. I cannot tell how much time I've been out. If it was before, I could've told the time from the frequency of water dripping from the ceiling of the cave. At night, it seems as though water pooled above the surface, and during the day it slowed when drying up. There was not much for me to do within the darkness, so perhaps in an effort to stay entertained, I found myself counting the drops and learning the patterns and motions of my home. But now there were no such indicators. I couldn't understand the passage of time very well, or how much left there was in the night. The best I could do was guess and hope that it had only been a few hours.

However, right now, I am devoid of feeling. My body is exhausted and I can only move it ever so slightly. I can only shift my head sideways to see the waters of the creek beside me. I feel like I am made of nothing, strange as it sounds. Perhaps because I've become numb and slow, or maybe because I can hardly move my limbs much. It felt as if I were just a pair of eyes with the only tether to the physical world being my mind. 

"You seem to be awake. What a relief. You wouldn't wake up no matter what I did. I was worried sick." A voice appears from nowhere, and I instinctively freeze from traumatic shock. It is smooth, gentle, and almost motherly. A part of me feels like running away with all my might and another is curious to see where it is coming from, but with my addled body, any effort I try to do to sit up is met only with weak writhing. I have nary even the strength to move my head, but my eyes meet two new ones regardless. They are unlike anything I'd ever seen. Intensely violet, glimmering, calm, and gentle. "Are you alright?" They spoke once more, a hint of emotion in them I could not understand at this moment in time. 

I can't respond to them. Not with my words or even my actions. Paralyzed both physically and emotionally, I can only stare back at them wide-eyed in a panic. The eyes pull back from their distance to me and reveal the shape of someone similar yet so different to the formless. Instinctively I realized that this was not one of the formless at all. She didn't have the same flame in her soul. Its light was pleasant and bright, without that familiar green tint to its hue. "Oh, it's okay, sorry I didn't mean to scare you." She voices out carefully and slowly, more gently than she did before. My fear abates at this, and warmth fills my face and chest. My breathing calms and I am left unsure of what to think of the creature before me. Noticing that she would not get an answer out of me and seeing as how I had calmed, the creature moved away from my peripheral vision to continue something that it was working on. 

"You are pretty hurt. Some of the wounds were too severe for me to use magic on, so I had to use a little concoction to heal them up. You're lucky I found you out in these woods when I did. It isn't safe for a pony so rarely anyone comes by here." I don't understand much of what she is saying, but I seem to have a recollection of some of the words she speaks far within the recess of my mind. 'Unsafe for a pony' she had said. What little of my memories I could piece together were telling me that this was a pony, a race of sentient creatures, and my intuition had already guessed that it was a mare at that. "You regained consciousness a couple of hours after I began treatment. I'm not sure how long you've had those injuries, but it seems I found you fast enough to prevent infection in the wounds. I'm sorry about this but I'm not entirely done with disinfecting them just yet. Hold on tight for a second, I'm not going to lie, this will sting very badly for a while. Here it goes."

The devoid and numb feeling all over my body started to lift and gave way to an incredibly sharp pain in one of my forelegs. After only a few seconds the pain had become unbearable. Fear instantly filled me again. What is going on? What is happening to me...? Having regained some sense in my limbs, I manage to writhe with more force than before, albeit not by much to have made a difference. A soft and sturdy force holds me down in my attempts to pull free.

The mares' eyes return to my peripheral to speak to me once more. They are filled with concern and uncertainty. So much so that it influenced my own thoughts, and I began to tremble in a panic. Why was she showing me this concern? How truly hurt was I? Did she know? Was she mourning for me? I hadn't even given my injuries a second thought until now, but now that was all that I could think about. What if I could not use my body anymore? What if I really had become nothing but a pair of eyes left to spectate the world around me like an unfeeling ghost? Was I destined to be alone forever? It was too much for my tired heart to handle.

"Oh, please don't move. Just a little longer. Don't worry, please. It'll be fine." The mare... was she trying to comfort me? It was as though she could sense my uncertainty, my feelings, my fears. It took moments before the pain finally died down, yet I could still feel the audibly loud sound of the beating of my heart in my ears. "Does it hurt still?" I realize then that the stinging pain from before was entirely gone, and a soothing cold feeling had replaced it. It seems she truly was trying to help me. "Can you talk? Are you hurting anywhere else? I did my best to fix you up where I could." she asked inquisitively. I felt myself wanting to respond. I felt my mouth move open but nothing came out. Sadness overtook me. I could not muster the two words I tried so desperately to utter at that moment. I gave up and shook my head in a 'no' trying as hard as I could to convey the direct response to that question.

The mare collapsed onto the ground, relieved by my answer. "Thank goodness." Her voice shook with worry. She stood back up after a while and regained herself with an awkward cough. "Well, at least I know you can understand me. It's okay if you don't want to talk right now. I'm sure you're scared and exhausted." She ran her hooves down my hair gently, patting me on the head. My heart eased at this, and my relief was immeasurable. "I'm Twilight Sparkle, by the way, a pony from Ponyville. You know, strange things are always happening around me, but this was the first time I've had such a scare. Never expected another pony to be out here like this and a young filly like you at that. I couldn't help but panic thinking that I wouldn't be able to save you."

This feeling inside of me was new. Old perhaps? I couldn't quite piece what it was, or if I had even felt it before or not. But it was warm. So very, very... warm. My heart began to ache. Somehow, this too was a feeling that I had, had a longing for. For a very long time now. It reminded me of that dream from before... It reminded me of the Mistress... it reminded me of that single face reflected on the crystal's surface back in the darkness of that cave...

"Don't worry about a thing alright? I'll do my best to help you out no matter what," she said again as though she were somehow peering into my mind. She motioned over to me and held me gently from behind so that she could sit me upright in order to help me drink. I hadn't realized how thirsty I was. I practically inhaled the water when it touched my lips and ended up spluttering, choking in my haste. Before the mare had a chance to reach into her bag to get another waterskin, I lowered my head into the creek beside me, terribly thirsty and not thinking straight. I noted Twilight Sparkle's disapproval when I had finally gotten my fill. What caught my attention at that moment was the reflection in the water. It was the image of another mare, much smaller and younger comparatively. A white one with a yellow mane and the same bright amber eyes as mine. A lot of things clicked in my head right there and then, remembering back to when I had changed my form atop the tree.

How I wished I could do away with my emotions at that moment because yet again I was filled with uncertainty and sadness. I hated the questions that popped up in my head as I looked back to this Twilight Sparkle. My very existence was a sad thing it seemed, but in my selfishness, I thought to keep this form for a while longer. If there was one being I could not lie to, it was myself. I wanted to take advantage of the kindness that was being offered to me because of this form. I did not see an alternative. My injuries, a home, even just something to chase after... But more than all that... I didn't want to be alone... 

"You sure you're not hurting anywhere?" Again, it felt as if she could read my mind. Like if she somehow understood my guilt. Sheepishly, I shake my head. "Well uhm... let's start with something else. Where is your home? Do you have any parents or family around?" These are questions I do not have the answer to, for I do not understand them very well. Parents? Family?And a home...? Huh. I had worried about it not long after I lost the darkness of the cave, but I had forgotten about it for a while. In the time that I was out for the count, life had returned to the woods around me even on this sleepy night. If I had to think about it at all, then this was probably my home now. All the same, I shook my head in response.

"Well uh... uhm I'm sure we'll find them, don't worry. When you are ready, we should get out of here. It isn't safe in the Everfree Forest. You know, I was only out here because something happened recently that needed me to investigate it." Her words were as warm as they had been, and the guilt inside me grew with each one uttered. "It feels like fate that I managed to find you."

Fate? No, it couldn't be. I knew better than anyone. Fate could never be so kind. Fate had never been, so why would it change now? If this was Fate's design, then that was all the more reason why I should not let my guard down even for a second. I promised myself... if there was a tomorrow... if Fate were to intervene again... that I would go against it. 

Without warning, the purple mare draped my still-exhausted body over her back. "I can see it in your face you know. You should just sleep if you need to. You're gonna need all the rest you can get to recover. Like I said. Don't worry about a thing. I'll take care of you." I felt an indescribable amount of comfort and relief in hearing her words. As she paced, the warmth of her back and the rocking of her steps were lulling me into a deep sleep.

At the very least now, it felt like I was no longer alone. I had seen so much of a new world; I knew I was no longer blind. I was going somewhere and with someone, so I was no longer lost. And I could finally rest easy in this nurturing warmth. 

I was no longer caged by the walls of my old home or the darkness of its embrace. 

Now,  I felt... that maybe I could start my life anew.