Checking the grounds before going into the cottage was a lot like being a ranch kid. There was a certain obligation to work and in both cases, it was a labor of love.
Besides, her hoof polish was already chipped. There was no need to remove it first.
The kennels had to be checked. Spring meant a few ponies were traveling, and the ones who couldn't bring their companions along trusted animal care to the cottage. Cleaning, making sure the occupants got some exercise, a little interaction time, and soft words for those who were still too disoriented from the change in environment to be doing anything other than growling. Fluttershy was the only one who could truly make the guests understand her, but Fleur could occasionally get a lot across on tone.
The stream was examined. Fleur noted the water level, then checked the visible state of the storm both above the cottage and across the border. They probably weren't going to see any flooding, but she fully expected the flow to be decidedly higher within the banks by morning.
A chicken coop which didn't need a touch of cleaning was a chicken coop which had never been occupied.
There was usually at least one exotic visitor being hosted on the grounds: a one-of-a-kind pet whose former owner hadn't known how to care for it, or an animal recovered from a smuggling operation which was getting some time to rest and recuperate before it was sent home. Fleur, understanding that she was doing nothing more than very slightly beating her love to it, still needed a few minutes before she located the echidna's hole, carefully made sure the entrance was protected against any excess water runoff, and never got more than a brief glimpse of frightened narrow beak for her troubles.
And then she went inside.
Fluttershy was in the sitting room, resting with her barrel and belly on the floor, surrounded by tiny felines. Something which meant Angel was going to be right there with her, because the pegasus was giving the kittens a lesson in pouncing. Careful movements of the incredible tail were good for that -- but there were always those who accidentally took it too far, and the rabbit's job was to protect the dock.
The coral fall shifted. Multiple kittens moved. Two of them went into each other, then rolled across the floor together because they'd just learned that a sibling was something that could be pounced and there was no need to stop now.
The pegasus looked up.
"...how did it go?" emerged from the visible side of the mouth. It was the most Fluttershy ever asked about the sessions, and Fleur considered that to be giving the therapy visits more local privacy than they strictly deserved.
Half her face visible.
Just half.
It wasn't a good sign.
"It went," was the most she typically offered back.
It's harder to push you. I never wanted to hurt you, but... I had to push. To get you to the point where you could go on without me.
But you never want to hurt the one you love.
It's harder. But this is two days now, when it feels like there's more of your mane slipping in front of your face every hour.
I don't want to hurt you. But I don't know how long it'll take to get him out of Ponyville. What's required to keep him from coming back. And if I go too fast, do too much...
(There was a price for that.)
(There were other dreams.)
(Eventually, Princess Luna was going to find one.)
Doctor Lorem wants me to listen to his lies.
He'll lie. I'm sure he'll --
-- but before that happens...
"I checked on Treme," the unicorn said. "She's secure for the night. Or as secure as she's going to be, when she's still so scared." The echidna was a long way from home.
"...I'll talk to her," Fluttershy promised, and all four legs shifted: hooves bracing for the push. "...I have dinner simmering, if you wanted to check on it."
Fleur nodded.
And you'll do a dozen other things while you're outside.
Because you always do.
"The kennels are fine," she told her love, trying to take one stop off the list.
Placidly, "...that's good."
"And when you get inside..." Fleur took a slow breath. "...I think we need to talk." Just a little more quickly, "If you're ready."
Don't push.
Don't push...
Fluttershy's legs nearly paused in the middle of straightening.
"...about Zephyr," the pegasus quietly said. "Is that it?"
The unicorn had to force the nod.
"About what happened the first time he was here," Fleur tried. "That's all."
Because it's something you didn't tell me about, when you finally showed me the picture. All I have is what Snowflake said, and I can't get any more from him because you were the source.
Narrow the boundaries. Offer to let her talk about just one thing --
-- is what Doctor Lorem would probably do.
Sundamn it.
"...just that?" Fluttershy softly checked.
Another breath.
"I know it's going to hurt. But... I just talked to my therapist." She wasn't happy about the possessive. "Who keeps telling me that one of the important things for talking about all of it is having someone there to listen. So if you're ready, I'll listen. But if you need to wait another day or --"
"...yes."
The unicorn had been living with the pegasus for over a year. She'd trained herself to pick up on her love's frequently-low level of volume. And the single word, wafted through the air from a weary, head-down exhale, still barely held together long enough to reach Fleur's ears.
"...but after we eat," Fluttershy quietly added. "Because if we have dinner after, then... I might not want to eat at all. I'll be back in a little while, Fleur. Please check the brown pot. I think that probably needs to be stirred soon."
And after the last dish had been washed, they were in the sitting room again.
There was more privacy available in the bedroom. Fluttershy had established multiple signals for telling every cottage resident that they needed to clear out of the bedroom now, and just about all of them led to additional sticks. But this was something which was going to hurt. And there were worse ways to talk about pain than when you were surrounded by warm curls of innocent young life.
...something else which just made Fleur think of the stupid sticks.
Both mares were technically on the floor. Fleur had arranged a number of cushions for Fluttershy, because that took away a little of the height advantage. The pegasus had more of the available kittens around her, and Fleur had gotten used to it. She didn't have that talent, and there were some situations where you just had to settle for second place.
They remained still for a little while, close enough to touch. Letting the newborns get comfortable. Waiting.
The first drops of soft rain struck the front of the cottage. A gust lightly rattled the back door.
"...I'll have to check that," the pegasus observed. "The wind shouldn't be so strong this early --"
-- stopped. Sighed, as her head went down. Tilting to the right, with the mane shifting accordingly.
"-- later," Fluttershy decided. "...I can check it later. Because doing it now is stalling. We can talk, Fleur. But... just about that one visit. Just what he did..."
The single visible eye slowly closed.
"...before you were adopted," the pegasus went on, "you were a lone foal. And then you had a sister. So you know both sides of it. I don't. Zephyr... is younger than me." And for the first time in days, her lips quirked into a smile. "...older than you, though. Not by much. He's an adult, but... just on the calendar. Maybe not in his head."
She sighed. The kittens, who already recognized certain signals, pressed a little more tightly. Angel redoubled a thumping claim to the soft right shoulder and refused to move.
"...I remember him being there," Fluttershy quietly said. "For just about everything I can remember. For being a lone foal, it's... like it never happened to me. I know I was, for a while. But I barely have anything from that time. He's... just about a constant. Because usually, when we went anywhere -- we had to go together. If our parents were away, if there was a storm somewhere and they had to help... then we were almost always watched together. There were only a few times when I was away from him. Flight camp was one of them."
Where you fell.
(Rainbow still didn't know if she'd been the one responsible.)
Where you nearly died.
Just about every major event in Fluttershy's life seemed to center on coming close to death. Pulled into deepest relevance by the ultimate gravity.
"...but for the rest," her love informed Fleur, "...almost always there. Until the day I went to ground. And that's part of why it's so hard to talk about him, Fleur. There's too much. It's... probably the same reason you don't talk about your birth mother very often..."
This time, Fleur's head dipped.
"...I'm sorry."
"No," Fleur heavily said. "You're right. When it's a lifetime..."
When it's all you can remember.
No matter how much you try.
No matter how much I wish.
There had been a time when her mother hadn't been sick, and Fleur... didn't remember.
Fluttershy silently nodded. The right leg reached out, and a hoof gently rubbed at Fleur's sternum for a few seconds before the limb refolded again.
"...it was about a year after I came to ground," she quietly began. "Almost the start of summer. I wasn't expecting him. I didn't expect anypony on most days, really. Nothing was very well established yet, not in the way the town saw the cottage. I had some business, a little pony traffic, but... there were a lot of quiet days. But he didn't send a letter, to let me know he was coming. I... probably would have gone under the bed, if I'd had a day to wait for. Hidden until he gave up and left. Because I'd gone a year without seeing him, without hearing him, and... when he talked, it... usually made me feel bad. About myself. I was really good at putting those words into my own head. I didn't need him for that. Having him around made it head and ears. And that was..."
The wings vibrated, and it took a visible effort to keep the tail still.
"...crowded," Fluttershy temporarily finished. "Like it didn't leave enough room for me."
Let her talk.
Her truth. His lies.
...the fantasies are okay. I can fantasize about kicking him as much as I like. I just can't actually --
"...I wasn't under the bed when he came," the pegasus softly reminisced. "It was the bridge. Beneath the span, wondering if there was any way to shore up the arch. I heard the birds. Even then, I had birds. Some of them are... still here, from those days. They remember..."
She sighed, and that too was soft -- but the emotional force of it hit Fleur like a runaway cart, because the one visible eye had just closed.
"...the worst part," Fluttershy said as she stared into the past, "...is that... it was almost fun."
"Fun," Fleur's hollowed tones failed to inquire.
Sun was being lowered. The encroaching night, added to the increasing cloud cover, was robbing the light from the room. Neither mare moved towards an illuminating device. They lay within intensifying shadows, and Fleur waited.
"...he... wasn't acting like... well, like Zephyr," the pegasus summarized. "Which took a while to see. It's... not so much that I decided to let him visit as just not being able to get away in time. And he didn't really have a reason for visiting. Not that he ever said. Stratuston isn't close, you know... it's about nine gallops inland from the east coast. Ponies don't make that trip without a reason, without trying, and... Zephyr doesn't try very much. He's never really had to."
Keep my horn dark.
No spikes. She knows what field spikes mean.
Just let her talk.
"...I think, looking back..." Fluttershy carefully proposed, "he was... shaken? Like something might have happened. But it was hard to see, because it was Zephyr, and -- he wasn't like that. He was always in control, especially when he wasn't. Or that's what he told himself. Or told our parents. That it was him. Not me, because... he said it sometimes. That I couldn't be in control, when I could barely look after myself..."
No field.
No field.
No field.
But Fleur could feel her tail shaking.
"...that day, though..." the pegasus slowly offered, "...I was wondering... if it was what -- having a brother was supposed to be like. I couldn't make him go away. I... didn't really know how. I sort of kept waiting for our parents to tell me that he was right, and... the usual. The same things everypony always said, when it was him. That he had to take the lead, when it was me. That he had to be right. But he... was talking to me, and some of the words didn't hurt. He wanted to see the cottage. The grounds. And I thought that if I did what he wanted, he would leave. And then..."
It was just for a second. Barely long enough to notice at all. But Fluttershy giggled.
"...he was so bad at everything. Because if I was doing something, then he had to do it better. Usually, that meant it had to be important. My talent wasn't important. Magic, techniques... those were. But it was just me to impress. So... it was like Blueblood, only -- Zephyr kept trying. I'd never seen him try at something before. Not trying and failing, and -- not making excuses." She paused. "Too many excuses." Again. "There were excuses. But he... laughed at one. Just once. After he poured most of the feed down his own throat. Once he could make sounds again, he made an excuse. And then he laughed at it. At himself. He'd never done that before, and..."
The smile lasted for less than three heartbeats.
"...it was a good day," Fluttershy said. "For a while. A good day with my brother. I... didn't know what those were like. And it was only a year after I came to ground, Fleur. There weren't as many animals... but it was harder to leave the cottage. This was where I was safe. Going into town wasn't just hard because I didn't have anypony to watch the grounds. It was hard because... it had only been a year. I only went into Ponyville if I had to. But we were having such a good day. We talked about what I'd been doing." The tone was openly amazed. "About me. And he didn't make me feel as bad. It... was so strange. To talk about the animals, about how I was managing the cottage. The eggs, and the first-alert duties -- I thought he'd say something about that, how it was all I could ever do, and..."
She stopped, and the next sigh burned into Fleur's ears. Emotional acid.
"...I had to go into town," the pegasus went on. "I'd needed to go for a few days. I kept putting it off. But he was there. And... it was a good day. I couldn't remember any days like that. I... asked him if he could just watch the grounds for me. It didn't mean much, then. Just if anypony came by, he could ask them to wait. Or if there was a new animal, to... well, I guess he mostly could have just nodded at them a lot. But I told the residents to just let him be, because... I didn't know what to warn them about. I didn't think to warn them, even after everything which had happened before. Because it had been a good day, and... I didn't know how to deal with those. I left. I did what I had to. And when I came back..."
They'd been together for over a year: enough time for Fleur to become accustomed to the silences which preceded speech. And yet, for the duration which was measured only by breath, heartbeats, and the wriggling of kittens, it felt like one of the longest pauses of the unicorn's life.
The next words were far too calm.
"...I still don't know where he got the cart."
Fleur blinked.
"The --"
"...I didn't think to ask at the time," Fluttershy wearily admitted. "I had... other things to think about. But I saw the cart first. It was a very old one. Mostly grey, but... the sort of grey you get when all the paint is gone, and the wood should have been replaced a long time ago. Some of the cottage was that kind of grey, when I got it. And it had an air hitch. That was pretty new. You've seen them, I know: where a pegasus can get into the harness, and... take the load. I saw the cart, and then... I saw some of the things around it. Nothing had been loaded yet. Just... a selection of pieces from the cottage." Slowly, "A little furniture. The pieces I'd scavenged from when stable sales ended, left out by the curb because nopony would pay for it. Some of the older equipment. I think there were a few blankets. Other things. Just... waiting to be packed. The animals, the ones who were outside... they were just milling around. Confused. Because they didn't understand what was going on, and I'd told them to let him be, and... there was a scraping sound. He came out. Pushing my couch, with his head down. The couch sort of -- fell out. Tumbling along the path..."
There was more water running down the windows now. The cottage crying, when the pegasus would not.
"...Fleur?"
The unicorn became aware that her love's visible eye had opened again. It was easy to see, with the increased light in the room.
"...your horn," Fluttershy whispered. "You have to..."
It took a moment of furious concentration before the radiant field spikes vanished.
"Sorry --"
"...don't be," her love said. "It's... just anger. It didn't do anything." And sighed once more. "I did. When I saw him come out. I... got angry. And... I wasn't used to that. Not to the point where it came out. Usually, if I got mad, if I let anypony see I was mad... then he had different excuses. Things our parents always believed, because I could barely take care of myself. So there wasn't any reason to be angry. I just... pushed it down. But they weren't there. And... it was the first time it really happened, where I got mad -- and the animals saw how angry I was, so some of them were furious -- and then they realized who I was mad at..."
She stopped, and they both waited for the burst of thunder to fade.
"...it was... a lesson," Fluttershy eventually finished. "To be more careful."
"You're allowed to be angry," Fleur immediately argued. "If I can --"
"-- your corona didn't try to reach anything," Fluttershy cut her off. "The animals -- did. And some of them remember. Still."
More thunder, but -- no flash. Something which suggested a strike well behind the cottage.
"Did they hurt him?" Fleur made herself ask.
"...no. He's... quick, when he wants to be. For a little while. He ran for the cart. Got into the hitch before they could do anything more than try to scratch him. And that was it. I didn't see him again until a few days ago. Because my parents knew... I wouldn't be visiting home often. Not with how far away they are, everything it took to get somepony looking after the cottage, and -- not knowing if they would even be there. It was easier... for them to come here. And that only happened a few times. But they never brought Zephyr."
Immediately, "Did you tell them?"
"...no. There... wasn't much point."
The unicorn heard the resignation. The weight, and just barely managed to push some portion of it off into the future.
"...so that's what happened," Fluttershy finished. "Why I don't want him here." Her head shook, just enough to clear a little bit of manefall, and she looked at the living half-blanket. "...everyone has to move now. I need to get up. Turn on the lights..."
"I'll get them --"
"-- I have to start the border check. I need to get up anyway --"
Fleur moved. So did Fluttershy.
The mares, both standing, looked at each other. Each winced.
"I'll get the lights," Fleur said. "Please."
Fluttershy nodded. Fleur trotted to the first, activated it. A few of the shadows were falsely banished.
You keep secrets, when you're a couple. You tell little lies to keep the peace.
But you have to decide which ones are worth it, because some words could cost you everything.
And there are things she's probably going to learn on her own.
She didn't want to say it. She had to.
"I told Miranda."
In one sense, the lone visible eye wasn't staring at her. Fleur knew what the true stare looked like now -- but never from the receiving end. Even witnessing it happen from a distance could be discomforting, but -- it was part of who her love was.
Fluttershy had accepted Fleur's talent and origins. The unicorn accepted the pegasus, for all that she was. Even when so few others truly knew about any of it, and those who did had so much trouble understanding the why.
But they wanted to keep Kindness happy.
Too steadily, "...how much did you tell her?"
Here we go...
"That there had been a robbery attempt," Fleur admitted. "No details, because I didn't have them. But I asked her to look for active warrants across the continent, in case he'd tried it somewhere else. That was a few days ago. Nothing yet. I thought that if he did have something current, and it started looking for him -- he'd leave."
"...or," Fluttershy quietly observed, "...he could wind up in prison."
"Which still effectively makes him leave," offered up some classic Protoceran boneyard humor. "Possibly for several years. Not counting the chance of early parole."
There was no laugh, and Fleur hadn't really been expecting one -- but the sudden downcast eye and sorrowful expression shocked her.
Did I just --
-- if she doesn't want --
"Fluttershy?" she quickly asked. "I --" And realized she didn't really have anything to follow the pronoun, because she couldn't exactly call Miranda off --
"-- I don't want him here," the pegasus whispered. "Because I know how he makes me feel, and I don't want to feel like that again. Because I can't trust him. But at the same time... he's my brother. And when I think about my anger, and that I can't trust him... it makes me feel like I failed. That I did something wrong, that I failed because I don't want him here. He's my brother, and... doesn't that mean I should love him?"
The thunder went off again, nearly drowning out the call of some rather wet birdsong. Neither mare truly listened to that, because Fluttershy seemed to be waiting for Fleur's answer, and... the unicorn was listening to her own thoughts. Hoping for words to miraculously arise from within.
Nothing came.
Finally, Fluttershy's shoulders and hips slumped.
"...did you tell anypony else?"
"Just Miranda," Fleur promised. "Not the others. Because you haven't told them yet, and -- I wanted to leave that to you." A little more quickly, "But he's still in town, as far as I know. Somewhere. And that might mean you have to tell them."
She hadn't been expecting the little smile, either.
"...thank you," Fluttershy offered. "For... making it my decision. I don't want to, but... at least I'm the one who gets to --"
The birds went off again, and did so one second before the knocks hit the door.
It was possible to time the sounds, and just about every interval would have matched to two decimal places. It was the sort of knock which was delivered by a mare who was counting off the seconds between hoof impacts, and also using the delay to worry about whether she was being properly polite about the whole thing. The sounds were emerging from a fairly low place on the wood.
So of course there's an emergency. And Fluttershy was closer to the door --
-- the pegasus got there first, opened it onto the lighter side of the storm, and there was a moment when Fleur couldn't see who was outside.
Which, in some ways, was the first clue.
"I need to come in," Twilight said, with the words making their way past Fluttershy's shadow. "I'm sorry for dropping by at this hour --" and the little mare's wet head appeared at the right side of the blocking yellow form, neck straining forward as she tried to look inside "-- but this could be really important --"
-- which was when she spotted Fleur.
The blush was immediate. Fleur's natural presumption was that the tinge of accompanying corona which briefly lit Twilight's horn came from an instinctive desire to counter the unicorn's talent.
"-- I'm not interrupting something, am I?" the alicorn awkwardly asked. "Because I think this is important enough to interrupt. But I'd really rather -- if it's something you two need to..." The blush visibly intensified. "-- finish..."
"...we were just talking," Fluttershy skillfully interrupted. "Come in."
She stepped aside, and the alicorn entered. Fleur fetched a towel.
Twilight almost never teleported to the cottage, because ensuring safety on the arrival end meant maintaining an empty space. It was possible to pick something outdoors, but -- animals wandered. The long-term residents could be asked to avoid a roped-off area: the newborns needed some education time, and the alicorn dreaded arriving in the same space as a living being, having her arrival point displaced into rebounding ropes, and subsequently falling on someone.
And you didn't have to know the librarian for very long before realizing that her flight skills were still a work in progress. Twilight generally walked, occasionally trotted, and reportedly did rather well in endurance races -- but she seldom casually flew. And now her feathers were in disarray, while the drip pattern from wet wings indicated that the joints had been both unfolded and active. The mane stripe was also rather visibly out of alignment.
An upset alicorn. In the capital, that was an especially bad thing. For Ponyville, it potentially indicated the need to consult on a future scroll. (It had taken some time for Fleur to learn about the scrolls. She'd never sent one herself, and had no intention of ever doing so. 'Dear Grimcess' probably wasn't going to go over well.) And since there had been no flash of warning fire, it couldn't be a mission...
Fleur's corona offered up the towel, receded from a corner to allow Twilight a chance at taking custody. The little alicorn accepted, and draped the glowing fabric across her back before letting her horn go dark. Rubbing down with an active corona did odd things to the water.
'Little.' Still true, but... Twilight was visibly taller than she'd been a year ago: the minimal starting point meant every fresh difference stood out all the more. Fleur was also feeling oddly height-sensitive.
"So I was just in Barnyard Bargains," the librarian abruptly began, because social cues and proper points for launching a conversation occasionally felt like scrolls-in-waiting.
Fleur internally offered up a modicum of respect to an alicorn who did her own shopping.
(Well, some of it. Spike ran a lot of errands, and Fleur had struggled to make sure his allowance reflected all of the work time. There was also a guest staying at the tree, and she presumably left it on occasion. Possibly to do some shopping, for whatever was still available after Moon was raised.)
"...if there's a sale I need to know about," Fluttershy cautiously tried, "it's a little late to head over. And I need to start a border check soon. The storm --"
"-- there was this stallion," Twilight cut in, and Fleur's heart grew cold.
(There would be a pattern of sorts: an aspect which required some time to fully identify. A decision would be under consideration, and then...)
It was raining faster now.
"Tall," the alicorn added. "Sort of aquamarine. I think his mark talent might be keeping gravity from noticing his mane. And he was at a cashier station, talking to Mr. Rich. I think the cashier sent for him, because they usually don't want to manage that kind of request on their own. Not when somepony's asking if they can start up a line of store credit. And you know Mr. Rich: he wants to be reasonable, especially when somepony's new in town and might just be getting started. But there's questions he has to ask. If somepony's working. If they have a permanent address set up. And when that wasn't helping, he asked the usual. If there was anypony who could vouch for the stallion, somepony local..."
The small left forehoof came up, and almost succeeded in slamming down again. The resulting echo was still somewhat lacking.
"Fluttershy," Twilight angrily declared, "there is a stallion in Barnyard Bargains trying to get a credit line through claiming to be your brother. And I know he isn't related to the other brothers, because that's the stupidest con ever! So I'm asking if you can come with me, so we can both tell Mr. Rich --"
"-- um..." Fluttershy said. All four yellow hooves shuffled, and did so without actually going anywhere. Slightly-oversized wings unfolded, then curled partway back in. "...um..."
"Fluttershy?" the alicorn carefully asked, with every feature visibly fighting not to twist with confusion. "I know you still don't like confrontation all that much, but this --"
"...um..." Fluttershy voiced, and Twilight stopped.
The rest took a while.