Equestria Girls: It's Showtime--Wallace and Gromit in Diamonds Are Not Best Friends

by PlymouthFury58


I. Wallace and Gromit Are A Go

The sun rose through the clouded Friday morning, turning last night’s downpour into vapors of evaporating steam, and sending the clouds to buttle off ten miles down the road into the neighboring county.

The weather forecast had predicted an onslaught of neverending heat for the next six days, ending the streak of summer coolness off and on passing rain clouds.  That would mean that the scheduled and planned sports activities and events had to be postponed in the eleventh hour.

Meanwhile, in the home of 10 Everfree Lane, the earliest riser of the household was sitting down on the dining table reading through the “Morning Telegraph”, specifically the section to do with all of the cancellations across town.  The headline read “Morning Heat Cancels Swimming Event”.

He took a bite from his marmalade toast, waiting for his master to rise from his cheesy slumber.

Just then, the buzzer marked as “Breakfast” alerted Gromit from his concentrated reading.

Wallace, meanwhile upstairs in bed, was pressing the “Breakfast” button on his homemade service station.  “It’s Wednesday today, Gromit,” he said, “that means it’s your turn to make breakfast.”

Gromit leaned back in his seat and pulled the activation lever.  Upstairs, Wallace’s bed rose up at an angle while a trapdoor opened up at the foot, causing him to slide down through the ceiling of the dining room and into his chair, this time into a prepared cushion.  Then, his various machines went to work, dressing him up in his morning slippers, brown trousers, white shirt and red tie underneath a green sweater vest.

Today, Gromit passed Wallace a plate of buttered and jammed English muffins.  “I’m still perfecting the All-Purpose Breakfast machine, lad,” he said through bites.  “Should be up and running in a couple of days soon.”

Gromit rolled his eyes, taking a sip from his morning tea.

“Still, this is nothing to complain about, pooch.”  He took a glance at the morning headline.  “Oh, dear.  I’m sorry to hear about the oncoming heatwave.  I’m sure Rainbow Dash was looking forward to that event for a while now.”

Gromit nodded with understanding.

“I’m sure she’ll be alright.  After all, there’s plenty of cheese to choose from, and with her skills in all sorts of sports she’s bound to bounce back, in a manner of speaking of course.”  He ate the last of his English muffin, wiggling his fingers with delight.  “Mmm, that is one smashing muffin right there, Gromit.  I see your skills in baking bread haven’t gone to the dogs, eh?”

Gromit sighed sadly in remorse.

Wallace backpedaled.  “Oh, uh, oh dear.  I’m sorry, lad.  I didn’t mean to open up old wounds… for myself as well as you.”  He anxiously ate his second muffin without another word, lost in horrible memories.  He took a sip from his teacup.  “Still, we shouldn’t be feeling cream-crackered this early in the morning, Gromit.  We’ve got the whole day ahead of us.”

Gromit checked the clock on the wall.  8:25 a.m.  School should be starting up anytime soon, and just in time for the West Coast sunshine to barely begin the onslaught of sweating.  Being stuck between the Rocky Mountains and Pacific Seaboard tended to give off the worst of both worlds.

“I’m going to go and check and see if there is any post,” Wallace said, getting up.  He walked over to the mailslot in the front door and picked up the post, going over to the parlor armchair to read them.  “Seems like a slow day for mail today.  That heatwave must be working fast this morning.”

Just then, the phone rang.  It was sitting on the stand next to his chair and attached to a homemade speaker.

“Hello, Wallace and Gromit’s Street Shiners Road Paving Service.  How may we be of assistance?” he answered.

“Hello, Wallace, this is Vice-Principal Luna of Canterlot High speaking,” a familiar voice answered back.

“Oh, hallo, Luna.  Nice of you to call us up.  What do you need?”

“Well, the street outside Canterlot High could use a touch up.  The last of the buses just left so the street should be empty for you.”

“On our way, Luna.”  He hung up the phone and called his dog.  “Shake a leg, Gromit!  We’ve got a client!”

Because they were still considered new around Canterlot City, Wallace felt it was impolite to be converting their new house prematurely, so instead of riding on some overly complicated system where he would be automatically placed into his work clothes, he instead followed Gromit into the garage through the door.  He kicked off his slippers and slipped on his work boots, replacing his sweater vest for a neon green overcoat, and placed a white with their business logo printed onto the side.  Gromit matched Wallace’s outfit, only his helmet was dark yellow with their business logo.

Wallace climbed into the driver’s side of the van, and buckled his belt in time for Gromit to climb in.  “We’ll have to be careful, lad,” he cautioned.  “We’re needed at Canterlot High this morning, and the last of the students should be arriving now.”

In truth, Gromit was more worried about how the rising heat would affect the blood pressure of the residents who still had a bone to pick with them.


Rainbow Dash was not happy.

Just that morning, she had received word that the swimming event that she had been looking forward to for months had to be postponed to three weeks away, right around the time that would interfere with her basketball event.  Of course, reading between the lines the events wouldn’t clash as much as it angered her, but she was in a foul mood that morning and the rising heat didn’t help much matters.

She parked her motorbike in the student parking area, threw off her helmet, and marched up the sidewalk to the front doors of the school, feeling a few beads of sweat already.

When she crossed around the corner, she found that the street outside the building had been closed off with road signs and everything, and she noticed a familiar looking van plastered with the words “Wallace and Gromit’s Street Shiners: We Smooth Roads Better Than The Moon.”

She groaned under her breath, hoping to catch it once the blast of the A/C smacked her in the face and around her body.


Rarity was feeling alright in the morning.

Sure the rising heat was something to be concerned of, but she put that worry on the byways as she walked to school, fanning her face with an electric fanner.  She felt that the paper would’ve caught fire if the heat permitted.

When she reached the school’s limits, she noticed that the street had been closed off to traffic, with signs and stands depicting a halting red hand.  The sidewalk she walked on had meant she needed to cross the street to reach the front doors, and the crosswalk was also closed off behind the barriers.

Suddenly, a figure jumped out in front of her dressed in a road worker’s uniform and holding a sigh sharing the depiction of the halting red hand, only for her to realize that the worker was a familiar looking dog.

“Oh, Gromit,” she exclaimed.  “Forgive me.  I didn’t see you there.”

Gromit looked around himself and behind Rarity before spinning the sign around, now depicting a green hand pointing across the street, and Gromit added a sweep of his hand to it.

“Such a gentleman…er, dog, Gromit,” Rarity complimented.

Just behind Rarity, Gromit saw Fluttershy walking up the sidewalk.  Or, more accurately, she was trudging up the sidewalk.  She had her head down facing the cement and looked crest-fallen and everything.

She walked up to Gromit, yelping as he halted her.

“Eep!  Oh, Gromit.  It’s just you.”

He cocked his worried head at her.

“Yeah, yeah, of course I’m alright.”  She wiped a hand over her sniffing tears.  “There’s no need to worry about…about me.”

Gromit arched his brow in worry but let her cross anyway.  He watched after her, observing how arched her posture was, then sadly shook his head.

Rarity of course saw through.  She wasn’t as keen with honesty as Applejack was, but she could…mostly read emotions like a crossword puzzle.

“Fluttershy, are you alright?” she asked.

“Of course I’m alright.  Why wouldn’t I be alright?” Fluttershy’s response felt a tad quick and forced, like she didn’t want to actually speak her mind.

“Oh, hey Rarity, Fluttershy,” Rainbow greeted, before entering into a hissing whisper.  “Come on.  We need to get inside before it’s too late.”

“Too late for what?” Rarity asked, perplexed.

Just then, Applejack appeared.

“Howdy, girls.  Y’all by any chance haven’t seen Pinkie ‘round here, have ya?”

“No I’m afraid not,” Rarity replied.

“I think she stayed overnight in the culinary class…again,” Rainbow grumbled.  “Now can we please hurry up and get inside?”

“Whai the sudden rush, Rainbow?” Applejack asked.

“I just don’t want to get caught out in the heat, that’s all.”

Just then, a low rumbling noise caught their attention from the group session back to the street.  Rolling past an opening in the construction barriers was a giant of a machine.  It rolled along tank treads, or caterpillar tracks, stretched out to make way for the road rollers hidden in the undercarriage.  The defining feature was the gargantuan tub in the middle, complete with a smokestack, with a smaller compartment attached to the rear.  It was painted dark green, like the color found on those John Deere merchandise, with the words “Wallace and Gromit’s Street Shiners: We Smooth Roads Better Than The Moon” plastered over the side.

At the front, hanging over the treads, was a cab, and inside the cab was none other than the cheese-loving crackpot inventor himself: Wallace.

“Alright then, Gromit!” he called.  “You’d best cover up the barriers, and then we can get started.”

Gromit obliged, getting up from his stool and moving the road barriers behind the road machine back into place, making sure they were straight as an arrow.  He gave the thumbs up when he was finished.

Wallace returned the gesture before pulling a crank in the cab.  The machine whirred and shook, before an opening opened up at the front, and hot melted tarmac began pouring out onto the street.  Wallace gently opened the throttle to move the machine over the tarmac, the rollers flattening it into place, ending with a pair of mechanical hands holding a brush and paint bucket painting the side of the road with a nice and straight white line.

Wallace then set the machine to full autopilot, then pulled out an “Ay-Up” magazine before kicking back in his seat, letting the machine trudge along its work at the pace of drying cement.

“Seems laik Wallace and Gromit’re back in business,” Applejack commented.

Rainbow facepalmed.  “Only a matter of time until something explodes.”

“Yer still salty abou’ tha whole soccer match, ain’t ya?”

“Give me a break, AJ.  They cheated!”

“Well, he’s certainly got genius where it counts,” Rarity remarked.  “He’s even fixed up that Autochef of his, and now it’s working like a charm for my family.”

“Ah’ll admit, tha’ CrackerVac a’ his certainly helps a ton around tha house,” Applejack added.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s good to know,” Rainbow grumbled.  “Next thing you know, they’ll be using some sort of…robot dolphin to beat me in a lapped swimming race or something.”

“Oh, a robot dolphin.  I’d like to see that,” Fluttershy perked up.

Rainbow facepalmed again.

“Don’ think too hard on it, sugercube,” Applejack patted her shoulder.  “Yer jus’ bein’ harsh on the boys.  They’re fun ta be around.”

“I concur, Applejack,” Rarity agreed.  “That Wallace is quite the gentleman.”

“Methinks Rarity has a crush,” Rainbow sniggered.

“Don’t be so uncouth, Rainbow Dash.  I’m a fashionista and Wallace is an inventor.  Besides, I’m still in high school and he’s middle aged.”

“So’s Twilight.”

Rarity nearly shrieked.

Applejack stepped between them.  “Now, now, girls.  Now’s not tha tahme fer an argument.”

“She started it,” Rainbow snapped.

“I did not,” Rarity snapped back.

“Please!  Anywhere but here.

Rainbow huffed, turning around and marching into the school without another word.

Rarity crossed her arms, scowling.

“Don’ take wha she said ta heart, Rares.  She’s jus’ upset abou’ tha’ swimmin’ event bein’ postponed an’ all,” Applejack consoled.

Just then, Twilight Sparkle came rushing up the sidewalk, sweating and papers flying out of her arms.  “Sorry I’m late!  My alarm clock broke down and I overslept.”

“Here, let me help you with your papers,” Rarity offered.

“Thanks, Rarity,” Twilight replied.  Then she noticed Wallace working his machine, and she suddenly shot to her feet, knocking Rarity head over heels.  “Morning, Wallace!” she waved.

Wallace, hearing a faint calling of his name, looked over to see Twilight and her friends.  She was hopping like a mad bunny and waving her arm over her head.  He pulled the emergency stop lever and the machine froze in place.  “Good morning, Twilight!” he waved back.

“What did you build this time?  It looks so cool!” she squealed with ecstasy.

“You like it?  It’s my All-Purpose Road Machine.”

“How does it work?”

“First, the tarmac flows out the front right here, then is flattened by the rollers between the caterpillar tracks, before hardening ready for the painters out the back.  It’s positively smashing if I do say so myself,” he grinned with pride, straightening his tie.

Twilight hopped around again, nearly shaking her backpack loose.  “Hey!  Can you let me outta here now?!”

She froze in realization.  “Oh!  Sorry, Spike!”  She set down her pack, opening it to reveal her dog, her magically talking dog, Spike, rubbing her neck and laughing with embarrassment as he scowled up at her.  “Sorry, I forgot you were in there.”

“Say no more,” he sighed, groaning.  “I know how you get around Wallace.”  He turned and walked down the sidewalk.  “See ya after school!”

“Where are you going?” Twilight asked.

“I promised Angel and Shaun a card game a while ago.  I’m heading to the animal shelter.”

With her papers in hand, Twilight waved goodbye to Wallace before rushing into the school, cursing herself that she could be late to another English history exam.  Applejack tipped her stetson, following after her.

Rarity and Fluttershy were left outside the building, and the former noticed that the latter had once again gone somber.

“Fluttershy, darling,” Rarity consoled.  “Whatever the matter is, we can help you.”

“No,” Fluttershy mumbled, sniffing.  “No one can.”

Rarity put an arm around her, offering comfort.  “Please tell me, then I will know if we can help you.”

She offered her friend a handkerchief, and patiently but anxiously waited for a response.

Fluttershy looked up from the mucus covered cloth, fighting back a sob.  “The Shelter’s…it…it’s …”

Rarity calmly caressed her side.  “It’s alright.  You can tell me.”

Fluttershy nearly snapped in response.  “The Shelter’s run out of funding.”

Rarity gasped.  “But it couldn’t have.  How could it have happened?”

“It’s a volunteer organization, Rarity, at least for me.  There’s only three of us: the manager, the janitor, and me.  I actually work two jobs,” she choked, “but it’s worth it to be around and see the happy faces on-on… all of the ani-animals, and now…now they won’t have a home to go to…!”

She couldn’t hold it back anymore, and the floodgates opened up.  Rarity pulled her into a tight hug as she sobbed into her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry, Fluttershy,” she choked.  “I’m so, so sorry that this had to happen to you.  You really are too kind for this cruel world. But we’ll pull through this if it’s the last thing I do.”  She released Fluttershy to look square in her eyes.  “I give you my word, not as a lady but as a friend, that I will stop at nothing to save the animal shelter, and all of the animals who haven’t a home to go to.  Do you understand me?”

Fluttershy hesitated, then meekly nodded.  “T-thank you.  But, can you please not tell the others, a-at l-least not y-yet.”

Rarity hugged her again.  “Anything for you, dear Fluttershy.”  The two friends then entered the school doors, feeling more miserable despite the heat.

Unaware of the both of them, the two road workers had overheard the entire conversation.

“Great heavens above, Gromit,” Wallace sadly sighed.  “That’s just not cricket, that is.  All those poor animals who haven’t a home.”

Gromit, drooping his newspaper from his comfortable seat surrounded by multiple working fans, sadly nodded in agreement.

“Just what are we to do, lad?  We simply must help out dear Fluttershy.  We owe it to her for looking after Shaun for us.”  Wallace set his magazine aside, activating the crank.  “Well, we’d best get back to work.  This road’s not going to shine itself.”

Gromit slumped back into his seat, feeling miserable all over again.


Elsewhere, in a different part of town, a city bus parked at a bus depot to let off a passenger.  Today, there was just one passenger: a black and white-bellied penguin with orange feet and beak, carrying a small suitcase.  He hopped off the last step of the bus, landing smoothly onto the cement sidewalk with no trouble.

The bus left, leaving the penguin alone with his thoughts.  His face was expressionless and calculating, devoid of any emotion.  He observed his new surroundings with curiosity.  He walked down the sidewalk, taking in every detail he could find.

So far, there wasn’t anything valuable worth his time.  All he could see were plenty of rich folks, but all they wore were rubies, emeralds, sapphires, and every other kind of jewel that was inferior not only in durability, but also in beauty.

What he needed were diamonds.  Rich, smooth, and shining diamonds that glistened in the sunshine.

First and foremost, he needed a base of operations, or at least some place that is accommodating to escape the infernal heat.

He plucked a map from a nearby stand, without alerting the busy owner, and opened it up.  He needed someplace that the last person would suspect he would be hiding in, the kind of place that would be inviting or, if he was lucky, down on its luck and needed money from a lodger.

He paused, then shook off the memories.

Then, he spotted the words “Animal Shelter”, located a few blocks down.

The perfect place.