//------------------------------// // Chapter 248 - Sellout // Story: Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) // by CrazedLaughter //------------------------------// Once you three were safe within the void, Discord carefully plucked you by the tail and placed you down. He gave you a very bored stare as you stared angrily back at him. He then placed his talons on his forehead and began to rub with a huff of annoyance. “Alright, what seems to be the problem now?” “I dunno, the fact you were about to sign that contract? The thing we came here NOT to do!” You shouted at him. “Like, geez, are you serious? Just because they were going to give money to Aunt Fluttershy doesn’t mean it’s a good idea!” “Yeah, Discord! What the heck!? Can’t you see what they’re planning? Hearthwarming doesn’t belong to them! They’re totally planning to make Hearthwarming into some soulless holiday… thing. You know, for money instead of sharing and stuff!” Scootaloo shouted. Discord shrugged “And? You both have to admit that it is an insanely good deal. And besides, you act like they’re going to get away with it.” “What? Wait, so are we just going to sign and then mess with them? Dad, we can’t do that. I mean, we can, but we’re signing a contract here. I don’t know how the bureaucracy really works in Equestria, but if it’s anything like dealing with Neighsay, I’d rather not.” You explain to him. He wanted his cake and to be able to eat it as well, and it was something you felt was not worth dealing with, especially with penalties involved. “And you won’t. I’ll sign the contract, do the deeds, and Twilight will handle the busywork. If you think our dear princess isn’t going to nose around in their business and put a stop to all of it, then you’re crazier than I am. I sign the contract, I put on one show, Fluttershy gets her gift, Twilight stops it. We don’t really need to do the other holidays, Fluttershy will be more than happy with the two hundred thousand.” Discord explained, with great confidence in his voice. “I really don’t see the problem here, Anon. And I really do mean that, I fail to see any negatives at all. Anon, this is actually something that can help Fluttershy. If anything, we’re scamming them! I’m aware this is supposed to be a prank, trust me, I’m very aware.” Discord then opens his chest like a door to reveal a beating heart. “But this decision comes from deep inside. See? It’s bigger than it usually is, that has to account for something.” Mnnngh… You couldn’t really chastise Discord for wanting to do this. How could you? He was thinking of Fluttershy’s well-being, he wanted her to be happy. He obviously deeply thought about the repercussions of his actions… Which is why he figured Twilight would deal with it. Still, Scootaloo had a point as well, and there was still a contract to deal with. It wasn’t a magical contract, but it was still legally binding and you had to wonder how the contract could be broken without causing an issue. But the fact those brothers were so damn adamant on getting the contract signed was alarming. There had to be something up their sleeves you weren’t considering, and that, sadly for Discord, made you consider not signing. “Dad… Look, I know. Trust me, I know. I want to make Aunt Fluttershy happy too. And, yeah, I know something like this would make her really happy. But there are other ways to get the funding, right? I mean, Miss Rarity could set up a fundraiser that would be more than enough for Aunt Fluttershy’s standards. I mean, what if we agree, and then Twilight can’t do anything about it? What if we screw up? It can’t be that easy.” “Says you. MY power is absolute. The decision is easy, the job is easy, and within twenty two minutes or so of Twilight finding out, she would have an easy time putting a stop to it while we make out like bandits. As they said, you don’t have to sign, but I will. They’re the chumps, Anon, not us.” Discord said, as he gave you a stern, fatherly stare. “But what if we’re the chumps? Dad, they managed to keep their cool the entire time. There’s something wrong here. The contract didn’t even say what the penalties were, just that there would be penalties.” You explain. “Hey, yeah! That is weird! Wouldn’t that mean that, technically, they could do whatever they want? Wait…” Scootaloo suddenly felt a huge bit of dread when she imagined a very wretched conclusion. “What if that’s the plan? What if the idea was to get you guys to sign, and then wait for something to go wrong?” Discord scoffed at those words. “And then what? Who cares if the penalties aren’t stated? I am Discord, the spirit of chaos! There’s nothing they can do to me! And before you say it, they won’t do anything to Fluttershy either. Not unless they want their resort to take on a new oceanic theme.” “But the penalties can be anything, Discord! It’s a trick! Discord, these guys are bad news.” Scootaloo was trying to plead with him, trying to convince him to stop. “And that ‘anything’ means ‘nothing’ to me. I knew I shouldn’t have brought you along. I can’t even remember why I did, of course a good little filly like you wouldn’t understand the nuances of a tricky deal.” Discord said, crossing his arms as he snorted his nose towards her, looking down at her like she was nothing. “W-what? You invited me to help you with a prank! A prank on two ponies who deserve it! On two ponies who tried to ruin Nightmare Night because they were selfish! Same with trying to take over Sweet Apple Acres. And if they had it their way, take over Equestria!” Scootaloo started to tear up. She took Discord’s words harder than even she was expecting, his patronizing gaze worsening the situation. “T-there wasn't even supposed to be a deal.” “And now there is. A deal, as they said, you’re not a part of. So why don’t you stay here while I do something good for a change and help out a friend, as a friend should.” Discord said as he looked over at you, wagging a talon at you. “And I don’t want to hear anything out of you. You’re worrying over nothing, and quite frankly, I’m flabbergasted by your selfishness.” Dammit, he was being an asshole. Even worse, he was being an asshole towards Scootaloo. But, fuck, how could you counter his argument? How could you stop him? It wasn’t like you could guilt him out of it, he’d feel guilty not taking the deal because it’d be ‘screwing over’ Fluttershy. He didn’t care about the outcome because he was so sure Twilight would intervene, which truthfully, she probably would. But those penalties, Scootaloo’s right, they’d practically own him if something went wrong. Maybe that wasn’t even the plan, as it’d still be a hit to their reputation. But either way, it just seems like they’d benefit much more than anyone else would. Scootaloo, however, just hung her head low, she was crying lowly. She was clearly upset. “Fine, then go ahead. But, Discord, you’re nothing but a fraud.” “Yes, I will… Excuse me?” Discord stopped, and looked at Scootaloo, rather confused. “Fraud? How am I a fraud?” “Because, you don’t really care about your friends. You probably don’t even care about Anon, really. All you care about is Fluttershy, and looking good in front of her. I actually thought that maybe, just maybe, Four was somewhere still in you. But I was wrong…” Scootaloo looked into Discord’s eyes with disgust and anger as she pointed towards him. “You’re really just One!” “Well, yes, I am number one.” Discord said with a smirk, standing proudly at the ‘compliment’. “No! I mean you’re that One guy! The guy that was super obsessed with Starlight! The guy that almost destroyed Anon! You’re that guy!” Scootaloo’s wings flittered with rage as she stomped over towards Discord. “You’re selfish and mean, that’s who you really are! You never cared about me! At all! If the contract had a part in it where I’d be sold off somewhere, you’d still sign it!”  “W-well, I wouldn’t go that f-” But Discord was interrupted by a very upset Scootaloo, who was near-hovering at this point in furious anger. “Shut up! Don’t lie! Stop lying! I really thought you were the spirit of chaos! I really thought we were a team! That we were actually friends. I dunno, I thought maybe Four was still…” Scootaloo stopped, and started to sniffle miserably. “No, you know what? It’s… It’s.. C-c-” She was having trouble saying her next word, it was a word she herself never expected to say. But just like with a few others who have been near you, it was only inevitable. “Crap! It’s all crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! I thought chaos was fun, and that we were using it for good. But I can see now that it can be bought! You’re nothing but a sellout, Discord! You’re literally going to help destroy all the holidays, and what they mean, just because it’s the easiest and laziest way to make Fluttershy happy! Well, you know what?! I don’t want to be here anymore! You’re not my friend anymore! You’re crap! You’re a sellout! A fraud! So… Goodbye, One!” And with that, Scootaloo turned around and wiped her eyes before roughly getting out of the suit Discord had given her. She then gave you one tearful look, and walked off into the darkness. Discord just stared at her as she walked away. He raised a talon as if he wanted to stop her, but he did nothing. He then looked towards you, and yet he still said nothing. “Don’t look at me, she kinda has a point. I want to make Fluttershy happy too, Discord. But not like this. I’ve already learned my lesson on taking the easy way out. I can’t completely fault you either. This is entirely your decision, and if you want to help Fluttershy, then fine. But, damn, she’s not wrong. You’d really be a sellout.” You explain to him. "I dunno, I'm done trying, you clearly aren't going to listen to me." Discord still said nothing, but it looked like he understood. He bent down, and picked up Scootaloo’s tiny suit with his paw and stared at it silently. Maybe if you tried approaching the situation from a different direction, he'd be more willing to listen. “Feel bad? I mean, you kinda should. We didn’t do what we came here to do, and Scootaloo is just a filly, of course the idea of Wendigos destroying Equestria is gonna scare her. And to be honest, considering how important harmony actually is, she’s right. You could have handled the situation a lot better. Heck, if you tried not being an ass, you probably could have found a way to convince her that signing the contract would have been a good thing, maybe. But you just keep losing your cool and being shitty whenever someone questions you” You say. “But wasn’t my explanation good enough?” Discord asked as he gripped the suit. “Not for her.” You say, letting out a sigh. “She’s pretty pissed.” “And what about you? What do you think?” Discord asked as he looked over at you. He was having one of his guilt moments for sure. At a time like this, you really couldn’t be mad at him, as he’s always so lost with himself in situations like this. And again, his intentions weren’t bad this time. It’s just his clairvoyance on the subject was lacking. “You really want to know?” “Just tell me. You don’t seem to be as angry with me as she is.” Discord said. “Like I said, I can’t really fault you for wanting to sign the contract. You mainly want to help Fluttershy, which is a good thing. But, dude, come on, Scootaloo is an emotional filly, and let’s face it, she’s not even the original Scootaloo anymore. She actually likes the idea of chaos, likes partnering with me, and really liked that clone of you. She was hoping you’d be more like Four, and you just crushed her feelings so hard that she fucking used a word I’d use. I mean, I found it weird you even invited her, and then I realized you meant it about the whole memory thing when it came to those clones. You probably even picked up this nasty gambling habit you got from one of them, because let’s face it, relying on Twilight is still a gamble.” You sighed, and looked towards the doors. “There’s gonna be consequences if you do this, Discord. But it is ultimately up to you whether you sign that contract or not.” Discord went silent as he stared into the void instead. “I regret asking, I didn’t realize you suddenly became an insightful seer.” Discord then put a paw to his face and shook his head. “How miserable, I can’t believe I let myself fall for such sweet words from those two. To think, I, Discord, selling out to the corporations. Selling my magic like it was one of Applejack’s halfway decent but still terrible apples. Scootaloo…” Discord sighed and turned towards you. “You do understand how hard I tried to get rid of those feelings, don’t you?” “And yet you gave in, because a part of you came to like Scootaloo. At least this Scootaloo, who is willing to cause a little chaos. How does it feel to care about someone from a completely different angle, even if it is by proxy?” You asked. Discord stood there as his mouth began to quiver and his eyes began to leak ice cubes. He then fell on his knees and began to cry. “It feels terrible! I feel terrible! I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, I was actually quite ecstatic that she wanted to come along. Do you understand how good it feels to know there are ponies out there that like my brand of chaos? Even if it is a filly? I wanted us to crush them together. I wanted us to have a good laugh. I wanted to have as good a time as I have with Spike and Big Mac when we play Ogres and Oubliettes. Argh, curses! It hurts!” Discord opened his chest once more, and saw his heart had burst into flame. He closed it, and began to weep on the floor. “Scootaloo! I apologize! I’m so sorry for what I’ve done! I’m the fool! I am One! I’m the ‘Crap’!” Discord continued to bawl on the floor, whining. “I ruined everything, I ruined what chaos meant. I don’t deserve my glorious title anymore! Scootaloo, you are better than I, and I… I really am so so sorry.” “I-I don’t think you deserve to lose your title.” Said a voice. “Hm?” Discord’s eye literally peeked out like a snake, looking up to see Scootaloo, who had returned, and presumably may have heard his cries. “S-Scootaloo?” “Y-yeah…” Scootaloo said, shaky, teary eyed herself. “D-did you really mean that stuff? Were you really happy I came along?” Discord’s eye snaked back into his head as he slowly began to stand. He wiped off the frozen tears from his face and sighed. “Well, yes. I thought doing this as a trio, with somepony like you to play mediator, would have come to a head as the perfect prank. Unfortunately, it seems Anon fouled things up, as usual, by not convincing me fast enough to not sign the contract. W-which I haven’t done, I just almost did.” You didn’t even say a word, you just rolled your eyes at Discord and rolled your hooves towards him as a signal to stop being a jackass and just say what he needs to say. “Hrm, and, well… Wait, you didn’t just pretend to walk off, did you?” Discord asked. Scootaloo shook her head. “No, I just kinda ended up back here, I couldn’t find the exit. But I did kinda hear everything.” “Oh… I see.” Discord said as he tapped his paws and talons together nervously. “Well, while I did mean what I said, I’d ask if you would not repeat it to your crusader friends. I’d rather them not think I’m going soft or anything of the sort.” Discord said. “Don’t worry, I won’t. But, Discord? Look, I’m sorry too.” Scootaloo said, rubbing the back of her head nervously. “You are? Whatever for?” Discord asked, confused. “Because, I guess I didn't realize how much you love Fluttershy, that’s all.” Scootaloo said. “Love?!” Discord went frantic as he jumped back in surprise. “Love?! I don’t love her! Who said I loved her? Anon, you didn’t say that, did you?! Haven’t I threatened you about that before?” You sighed and looked at Scootaloo with a grin. “Scootaloo, they’re just friends, okay?” You say with a wink. “Ooooooh, okay.” She says, winking back. But then she looks at Discord once again, and walked towards him, and hugs his leg. “Look, Discord, I’m sorry, and you’re sorry. We’re both sorry. Let’s just forget this happened, okay? Let’s just be friends.” “Friends…” Discord sighed, then gave her a gentle smile as he gave her a pat. “Sure, why not. And not to sound like One, but I’m sure Fluttershy would be happy to know I’ve officially made a new friend.” But then Discord looked back at the doors and narrowed his eyes. “But forget about them? No, no, I don’t think we’ll be doing that. We came here to accomplish something, and by Tartarus, we will do it.”  Discord looked towards you, and pointed with a fierce stare on his face. “Anon, idea!” “Gyah?! Um, actually… I got nothing. I mean, we could just… I dunno, just summon something?” Dammit, you weren’t ready for an on-the-spot decision. “Useless! Come on, Discord, surely you have something!” Discord said to himself as he entered deep thought. “Come on! You let them get so close! There has to be something you can do to turn this around. Something clever. Something that can blow that deal out of the water.” “Wait…” Scootaloo, however, looked up at Discord and suddenly began to tug at his leg. “Did you say 'to turn this around'?” “Yes. But the question is how? I was thinking of perhaps making them sign a contract, but then they really have no reason to do it. Argh! I let them get too close! I lost momentum! And-” But before Discord could ramble on, Scootaloo suddenly shouted an idea. “What if we keep going?” Scootaloo asked, loud enough to break Discord’s train of thought. Wut? “...Keep going?” “Yes, I’m confused as well. Do you mean with the contract? I thought we weren’t doing that.” Discord said, as confused as you were. “Yeah, well, the thing is, they already think you’re gonna do it. So what if we were going to? What if you got so close to signing, and then, I dunno, you decided that maybe your magic doesn’t meet up to their standards? You know, not good enough for them. Or maybe...” Scootaloo said. Discord actually felt insulted by that. “Excuse me? Didn’t we just have an apology session? What do you mean not good enough? My magic is always good enough.” “I know, I know! But, y’know, they don’t know that. But if that's a problem, then, what if we showed them how good it is instead?” Scootaloo asked before turning to look at you. “Do you get what I mean?” Get what she means? … … Oh, holy shit. “Scootaloo, holy… That’s actually amazing!” Holy shit, you got what she wanted to do.  “What’s amazing? Does somepony want to clue me in as to what that ‘amazing’ is?” Discord asked, still confused about it. “Dude, Dad, she’s saying to give them a taste of the Hearthwarming story. Get it?” Come on, come on! Discord began to stroke his beard for a moment as he gave it some thought. Then you saw it, a slow but evil grin growing on his maw. “Well, well, that is quite genius indeed.” Discord then looked down at Scootaloo with a softer smile. “And to think, you were the one who thought of it. Looks like I’m going to have to adopt you as well.” “Erm… Discord? I got aunts… and my mom and dad, and stuff? But, uh, I really appreciate the thought.” Scootaloo said with a genuine yet awkward grin. “Hm… A shame. Ah well.” Discord said with a shrug as he cocked his talons and paws like a gun. “Get ready for showtime, my little chaos ponies. We have to make sure we get those five star reviews.”