//------------------------------// // Chapter 6 // Story: INSURANCE! a Grumpy Goat >tail< // by De Writer //------------------------------// Romaine was ignoring her sea grass puffs and Far Northern Dales fried oatmeal squares with dried fruit and chocolate drizzled over the ice cream topping to get this written down! Her sides were heaving with giggles as she wrote! Peanut Brittle noticed her activity and quietly brought out a Magic Net extension mirror for her to call in her story! She sensibly hoofed over her notes and record of the images that she had taken to Celestia. Celestia gave them a cursory glance that I knew to be deceptive. She is a page at a glance reader. She nodded. “Go ahead, Romaine. Should be a great story! We will definitely want a copy for our archive.” She was briefly busy with the magic net mirror before falling on her goodies! Between bites, she joyously told us, “SCOOP! None of the other papers has actually sorted out what is happening! All that they know is that the Canterlot Casualty and Life office is shut and the same for Equestrian National Bank. They are both guarded by units of the Royal Guards. “Only the Prancer has what is going on and we have it from the Princesses and others central to the story! The Bleatin’ Hallow mess is going to blow up like a bomb around here!” I looked up from my excellent specially large onion rings to inquire, “Why will it blow up?” Romaine filled me in, “We at the Prancer have been following the development of Bleatin’ Hallow from when the goats saw how Duchess Red Hoof developed that 2000 acres of boggy commons that she bought. They asked her advice to start developing Bleatin’ Hallow Marsh and the Prancer has followed the story since then. Lots of good ponies here in Ponyville really admire what the goats have achieved. When those good ponies find out what Canterlot Casualty and Life and Equestrian National were doing, they will blow a gasket.” Luna smiled sadly, “It may be a worse blow up than you think, Romaine. They were planning to consolidate all two hundred and thirty four farms belonging to the goats into only seven large estates. “They intended take them out of local taxation entirely by creating a bogus town under the hoof of Count Rockbottom. They were already working on transferring the whole of Bleatin’ Hallow out of Princess Twilight’s principality and making it an annexation of County Rockbottom, where it would be made tax free by the Count. He was to get one of the estates for his part in the scheme. “I have stopped that entirely and formally notified Princess Twilight of the scheme. From what I gathered on my Magic Net mirror call, she might be considered to be upset.” There was a lavender flutter of wings as Princess Twilight alighted in the street and requested, “Sorry to interrupt, Your Highnesses, but may I please join you at table?” Princess Luna gestured magnanimously as she invited, “If you have not yet tried them, get a plate of the Far Northern Dales batter fried oatmeal squares with dried fruits and nuts! They are topped with scoops of ice cream and drizzled with chocolate sauce! Purely delightful!” Peanut was right there with a menu, suggesting, “Your Higness, may I say that the seagrass puffs are excellent today along with a dipping sauce? Sweet and sour goes very well with it. I did hear Princess Luna’s recommendation of our Far Northern Dales batter fried fruit and oatmeal squares and it is one of our finest dishes. For the ice cream topping we have vanilla, clotted cream or light mint. We make all the flavors here in house.” Princess Twilight scanned the menu and agreed, “I will have the Sea Grass puffs with a tart dipping sauce and to follow, your Far Northern Dales squares topped by the mint flavored ice cream. To drink, I would like the Sweet Apple Acres apple honey cocktail.” While she was waiting for her order and sipping the tasty drink, Twilight asked, “Actually, I am here for advice. That whole Bleatin’ Hallow scheme might have got past me and cost my Principality substantial tax revenue as well as dispossessing the goats whose industry made it such good land.” Coalsmoke spoke up, “Princess Luna has scotched the scheme and I have bought up all of the foreclosed properties there. I am returning all of the land to the goats who were dispossessed. Where possible, I am having their homes, barns and byres all restored. The plotters have already torn down some of the goats’ houses and other structures. I have engaged work crews to assist the goats in restoring everything as well as I can.” Princess Twilight nodded. “That is most welcome news. I am pleased that wealth such as yours has not hardened your heart. Do send me the bill for your costs. I will see that you do not lose by your good generosity.” She paused to attack her Sea Grass puffs. “What I really want to know is what my limits will be in dealing with these miscreants. I mean, Your Highnesses will be trying them under the Royal Wing.” Celestia smiled at Mol and pointed out, “There is your best source for information on how this has impacted your subjects. What Mol does not know about Ponyville has not happened yet.” Luna smiled savagely, showing the fangs of her Nightmare incarnation, as she suggested, “We are still sorting out what all was done or being done. Celestia has uncovered a literally treasonous plot to sell substandard and overpriced provisions to our Baltimare naval yard. There may be some overlap of criminals between the Bleatin’ Hallow scheme and the naval yard scheme.” Eyes twinkling, she added, “Those that do not get the Traitor’s Drop will receive sentences for their crimes against the State. After they have been sentenced by us, under the Royal Wing, you may have all of the survivors for trial under Principality law. I would personally begin with conspiracy to defraud your Principality of tax revenue. Add fraud in the improper delays in insurance payments. Further, land fraud in the acquisition of the farms of the goats, due to the interlocked insurance delay.” I spoke up, “If I may, your Highness Twilight? Look into how many of the final settlements deprived the policy holders of a deserved double indemnity. They certainly tried it on me. “I do have one further suggestion but it cannot be implemented until the audits are done. Move all of your accounts over to Ponyville Trust and Loan. Their investments are all here in the local economy and I know for a fact that they are honest. It may surprise some, but I use their services for all of my banking needs.” Twilight nodded thoughtfully, necessitated by a mouthful of Caramel’s excellent Sea Grass Puffs with sauce. Swallowing without haste, she replied, “That is an excellent suggestion, Grumpy. I may well do that.” Luna asked across the table, “Tia, do you know off hoof how much Equestrian National has in liquid assets? Grumpy was right. They have been underpaying on policies for many years. The money garnered was funneled to Hortimer’s old Celestian Church. I am still tracing where it has been going since then. The Canterlot Casualty and Life policy payments are underwritten by EQNB. “Grumpy alone is due 5,597,403 gold, seven silver and three. They have two other substantial old payouts that my accountants are still sorting out. That is not counting the six hundred and thirty four more recent cases.” Celestia scratched lightly at the corner of her jaw as she thought. “It will take four days by rail for Grumpy’s gold to get here. We will have to strip most of the liquid assets from all branches except Tailswitch and Corbiestep. Those two have to be kept with sufficient funds to assist the County in the event of a Prance incursion.” Romaine looked over to me and, brow wrinkled, asked, “Grumpy, I know that you are pretty private about your finances. Would you prefer that I only say that you are due a substantial sum?” I nodded. “I would appreciate that, Romaine. The money itself will go to my Ponyville Trust and Loan account. Since they only invest locally, that money will be put to good uses.” Romaine gave me a skeptical look. “Did I hear that right, Grumpy? You want your money to do good for ponies? I thought that you detested most ponies.” Nodding agreeably as I chomped down another big onion ring, I replied, “As a group, I do. That does not blind me to the good in certain specific ponies and others. The fact that I am buying your lunch should tell you that. Gathered around this table are ponies and others that you could not pay me enough to do any sort of harm to. There are others too. For instance, Reverend Smallflower at the Assembly of the Twins.” Princess Twilight quietly told Romaine, “When we needed somepony to underwrite the construction of the new school buildings, Grumpy picked up the whole tab and refused any sort of recognition for it. He is one of Ponyville’s most active charitable givers.” Chuckling, I added, “Whatever you do, don’t publish that! It would ruin my reputation for being an evil being. Not to mention, it would have ponies up to my cave looking for me to GIVE them money instead of looking to PAY me money!” Romaine giggled at that and suggested, “Couldn’t have that! I will keep it secret unless I need to blackmail you for a story!” Going serious, I asked the Twins, “About getting all that cash here to Ponyville, would it be easier and safer to use written Secure Gold Transfers from the various institutions to Ponyville Trust and Loan?” Celestia nodded slowly. “It would be easier, Grumpy. With all that I am finding, I do not think that it would be safer. EQNB seems to be run by a pack of greased weasels with a taste for blood in the form of customer’s gold. I am vacillating between a total restructure of the bank and closing it down entirely, replacing it with a new institution.” Hiding a smile, Romaine wrote swiftly. She offered her pages to Princess Luna, who reads every bit as fast as her sister. She read aloud for Celestia, who was nose deep in her second helping of Far Northern Dales fried oat meal with ice cream. Luna snickered as she read, “It is headlined, ‘Tiny Pebble Triggers Avalanche!’ Under that is the subhead, 'Fraud in one life insurance policy leads to large Royal investigation!’ “During a social visit to her friend, Grumpeter Goat, Princess Luna became aware of an irregularity with the local branch of Canterlot Casualty and Life. Not only was a form offered for Grumpeter’s signature by Mister Stallheart, the local branch manager, in direct violation of Equestrian Business Law, CCL was attempting to refuse payment on an already late policy payout. The sum owed was quite substantial. “This led to the discovery of other improprieties in policy payouts. That, in turn, led to a connected land fraud scheme being carried out by Equestrian National Bank. “One of the ponies involved requested, as is the right of any citizen, a trial under the Royal Wing. This request required a Royal Audit of both institutions, as the crimes involved stem from cooperation between both Canterlot Casualty and Life and Equestrian National Bank.” Celestia looked up from her treat to say, “Delicately put, Romaine! That, with your photo piece about lying to a Royal Audit should lay the ground work for your future reports. As of now, you are Our Official Royal reporter on this case. We will release further information to you first.” “Thank you, your Highnesses. I shall try to be worthy of the honor.”