She took one look at the sheet and demonstrated that she had learned a great deal in her three thousand years. “Major Lightning, please formally detain Mister Stallheart for multiple violations of Crowns Law.
“This altercation has just become a case under the Royal Wing. Not only have I personally heard violations of the Edict of Equality, I have been presented with a PRINTED contract form from Canterlot Casualty and Life that is in blatant violation of Equestrian Business Law. I have heard what appears to be a criminal conspiracy to deprive the beneficiaries of policy holders of both their proper disbursements and to further victimize the beneficiaries through improper seizure of homes and land.”
Stallheart struggled against being put into restraints but to no avail. There were more guards than he could resist and they were stronger, too. The Royal Guard might be made up of petty nobles, but they are first and foremost, a well trained military unit.
That he was not thinking too clearly became evident in mere seconds! “If this is going to be a trial under the Royal Wing, I demand that Celestia hear the case too!”
Luna grinned in delight! Pulling out a Magic Net mirror, she tapped a few well practiced codes. As soon as Celestia showed in the mirror, Luna began, “Tia! Guess what? I have got you out of Lord Rockbottom’s lawn party! We have a demand for both of us to hear a case under the Royal Wing.
“Be sure to let Lord Rockbottom know that the case dragging you away from his excellent entertainment is due to his Ponyville Branch Manager, Mister Stallheart. It appears that he may have involved the company in some minor transgressions.
“One more thing, be sure to stop by the kitchens and pick up the ingredients for Grumpy’s clovertop scramble. Enough for about fifteen.
“See you soon, Sis.”
Stallheart was aghast. “You just blackened my name with the CEO of Canterlot Casualty and Life! How could you?”
Mildly, Luna replied, “So far, you have violated the Edict of Equality in my hearing. You have stated that those who developed Bleatin’ Hallow from a worthless waste to some of the richest farmland in the area have no right to it.
“In addition, you have stated that a Death Certificate that I personally filled out and sealed was fraudulent. I assure you that it is not. Grumpeter Goat’s death was the accidental result of a misprint in the book that he was using as a guide to his Working.”
Stallheart slumped. “OK, we will pay him the million golden bits that he is after. No need for all the rest of this. The big thing is gonna be taken care of.”
At the word “ACCIDENTAL” Coalsmoke’s ears pricked up!
Coalsmoke suggested, “Perhaps Her Highness would like to look over your old policy, Grumpy.”
Shrugging, I hoofed it over to Princess Luna. As she flipped through the pages, she frowned. She set the policy down and pulled out a big circular sliding rule. Consulting the policy, she began flipping the sliding rings and the hairline about with the ease of long practice.
Putting down the policy and the calculator, she said, “Canterlot Casualty and Life does not owe you any million golden bits, Grumpy.”
Stallheart curled his lip and sneered, “Been trying to tell him that since I got here! Thanks for confirming it, Princess.”
She looked at him as if he was a lump of sludge that learned to speak. “He was trying to cheat you even here at the last, Grumpy. They owe you about FIVE and a quarter million golden bits. Your death was ruled an ACCIDENT. Double indemnity applies. Just amazing how it grows when the starting sum is TEN thousand instead of five thousand.”
I was simply stunned.
I turned on Stallheart and replied to his earlier attempt to weasel out of this, “Right. We can just forget about all those other policies that that you are cheating on, even to the point of getting the beneficiaries evicted from their homes before you pay them a bit. Not likely.”
In the uncomfortable silence that followed, Stallheart looked like he might want to hide under the carpet or somewhere else inconspicuous.
It was just then that there came a gentle knock at my very solid steel front door. Luna opened it eagerly. She hugged her sister, exclaiming, “Celestia! It is so good to see you! This will be a fun one! Before we can reach a complete verdict, we are going to have to do total audits of both Canterlot Casualty and Life AND Equestrian National Bank! We are going to be free of the Court stuffed shirts for at least a week!”
Celestia snickered, “Thanks for the rescue, Luna. There is only one thing wrong with what you just said. If we are going to be doing a Royal Wing audit of BOTH Canterlot Casualty and Life and Equestrian National Bank, how much do you want to bet that we are going to be horn deep in nobles trying to find ways to stop it? An awful lot of them are heavily invested in one or both of those companies.”
Coalsmoke grinned and replied, “Simple really. Just let it be known that you are looking for some financial wrongdoing by an interlocked cadre of executives in both institutions. Don’t say WHAT the wrongdoing is, just that ANY attempt to interfere with your audit will be regarded as complicity and result in direct financial responsibility by the shareholders involved. That should keep them away from the investigation in droves!
“For now, simply require Canterlot Casualty and Life to make insurance payments to beneficiaries promptly and freeze the ability of the Bank to foreclose any properties Kingdom wide, until you directly approve them.”
Luna smiled serenely as she agreed, “We have just been given business advice by one of Equestria’s best business mares. I think that we should take it.”
Celestia nodded. “Anything else that we should do, Coalsmoke?”
The lovely pure black mare batted her eyelashes at me as she pointed to me. “Him. Buy a customized truth testing spell from Grumpy, along with the questions that you need to ask of it. I have several of them myself. Great time savers. You can’t believe how quickly you start to get honest answers purely by habit when the liars themselves turn ghastly colors according to the degree of the lies that they try to tell you.”
The Twins chuckled. I volunteered, “I do have to be paid for the magic to work …”
Stallheart interrupted, “That’s a greedy goat for you! He never does anything for less than a hundred gold! You are about to be robbed blind!”
I waited him out and went on, “Think that the Equestrian National Treasury can swing ten whole copper bits? We can discuss the exact contract terms over the clover bloom scramble. When we have the contract ready, one of the guards can fly it down to the Registry in the morning. Mol will have closed up and gone home by now.”
Guard Major Lightning spoke up thoughtfully, “We could put Mister Stallheart in a transport net and remove him to the Ponyville Jail as a Royal Prisoner. No point in having him here to listen to all that will be discussed regarding his company and the bank.”
“Well thought on, Major,” Luna replied. She paused to write and seal a note. “Deliver this along with the prisoner. Judge Coldheart needs to be aware of the terms under which he is being held.”
The guards efficiently wrapped Stallheart in the transport net and carried him out, the sound their wings fading into the distance.
The next morning, after a quiet breakfast, Princesses Celestia and Luna, accompanied by their guard, took off from my ledge. Watching them glide down toward Ponyville in perfect formation was an impressive sight.
Coalsmoke and I trotted down the trail, she to return to her many business interests and I to register the truth spell contract. I was chuckling at the idea of so many business ponies in the Equestrian National Bank and Canterlot Casualty and Life turning interesting textures and shades of amusing colors while trying to lie their way out this mess!
We parted company with the agreement to meet for lunch at Caramel Treat’s.
As I trotted serenely along Ponyville’s well shaded streets I noticed genuine proof that some ponies can actually learn from past errors! Several unicorns that I remembered from the days when they were Celestian Church bullies were quietly crossing the street to avoid any risk of meeting me … again! Those “superior” unicorns had provided the public of Ponyville with many amusing mishaps by running afoul of my simple and non lethal defensive spells back during the days of the “Celestian Church”.
My little glamored hooves that really aren’t there pattered on the nice carpet runners of the Ponyville town hall as I turned into the Hall of Records. Mol looked at my happy smile and snickered, “A smile like that on you bodes no good for somepony! What is happening now?”
I just hoofed over the contracts and said, “Read them for yourself, my lovely young accomplice in justice.”
Mol was chuckling as she picked up the contracts. “With you Grumpy, those two words usually go together as one word. INJUSTICE!”
Her eyes caught the twin Royal Seals, along with the Seal of their mother, Skyglow, Titan of Life Creation, and titular Queen of Equestria. Suddenly, Mol became all business, very carefully documenting the contracts. Looking up from her work, she asked seriously, “Why would their Highnesses need customized truth spells?”