My mouth is dry and my head hurts. I get the feel like the room is spinning, and my stomach doesn’t appreciate it.
Also, my barrel is being slightly squished by something, something that just shifted a little bit.
Wait…
I stir awake with a gasp, and I immediately regret the sudden move as the nausea intensifies. My head comes back down, crashing into the pillow and I groan.
What happened last night?
Thinking hurts.
The weight on my barrel shifts and disappears and my swiveling ears get the grunt and a few mutterings of a strange being in a strange language. He still does that sometimes, talking in the language of his people. He usually does that when he curses.
I vaguely start to gain some conscience of my surroundings. I’m on my bed, the bedlinen is in disarray, and I can smell a mix of sweat and alcohol, and a foul taste is in my dry mouth, probably because of going to bed without washing my teeth.
Last night… what happened last night?
Ponyville, it was still early in the evening, at least early considering the special day it was. After Canterlot, Smarty and I went for a walk in Ponyville, and there was Berry Punch in the bar, serving special drinks for the occasion and…
Oh no… I got a stallion drunk and into bed…
That sudden thought mortifies me. How could I? Especially when he told me he wanted to go slow!
“Ugh… you awake, Cheery?” He groggily asks.
“Aeoug…” That is the only thing I can say as a sudden spike of pain stabs my head and nausea overcomes me.
“Exactly…” What?
“I… ugh.. eough?”
“Yeah, absolutely.” Oh, come on! I kick him with my hindleg, the weak blow doesn’t even connect, but gets the message across.
My cousin Berry Punch was surprised to see me with a stallion, and wanted to celebrate the occasion. She invited us to come in and the first round was on the house. After some hesitation, Smarty accepted and we had a good time.
Berry was already inebriated, and started to tease us as if she was a school filly. She was chanting ‘Cheerilee has a coltfriend!’ over and over, adding equally foalish kissy stuff. It was fun at the beginning, then annoying, then infuriating. The whole bar was focused on us, making funny remarks and in general laughing at Berry’s antics. When I was on the verge of just getting up and leave, one of the times Berry said ‘Cheerilee has a coltfriend!’ again, Smarty booped her snout with a finger and said ‘And you don’t.’
It caught her off guard and it granted some giggles from the rest of the ponies. It was enough to make her stop. I was slightly embarrassed that my stallion had to stand up for me, but I have to admit it got a smile out of me. We got the upper hoof for once.
My other cousin Cherry Berry was there too, and she also wanted to invite us to another round of drinks to celebrate. Smarty got another round for all of us, to be invited by a stallion also caught me off guard, so I had to mare up and get another…
“I’m going to get some water and some analgesic for the headache.” He says, as he untangles himself from the bedsheets and goes to the kitchen.
After that, he refused to drink alcohol anymore, switching to fruit juice and water. Berry Punch called us pushovers and mocked us for our low alcohol tolerance. He didn’t take the bait, but I did and drank a couple more, just to make Berry shut up. Not my brightest move, must be that time of the year, and the unstable emotions that come from it.
All that recalling causes a fresh stab of pain in my skull, bringing me back to the present, and it becomes apparent that I need to get to the bathroom ASAP. Groggily I stand up and flop onto the floor, miraculously managing to stay on my hooves and covering the distance between the bed and the toilet in a rush of adrenaline, barely managing to get the toilet lid open.
My mouth and nose get the foul acidic taste as I spit a little bit of bile. I stay there, slightly stunned while my digestive system decides what to do about my stomach contents…
The Griffin Salad…
A powerful retching nausea makes me vomit. The sudden effort and the foul taste make tears run down my cheeks. My body sways and threatens to fall to the side as I feel the room spin.
“Oh, goodness…” I hear as Smarty approaches me from behind. I feel my head supported by something soft and warm that adapts perfectly to the shape of my forehead and an arm around my barrel keeps me in place.
The human kneels down at my side and I lean slightly onto him for support and rest my forehead onto his warm palm.
“There, there… let it out, you’ll feel better.”
I have no words to say, I just comply and after some deep breaths, I empty the remaining contents of my stomach in the toilet until only dry heaves signal that I have nothing more to spill. A sniffling stinky mess of a mare, but my headache is slightly less pronounced and the dizziness recedes.
“Is it over?” He whispers quietly to my ear as it flicks, and I nod as my only response. His hand comes up and down with my forehead, keeping me supported gently despite my movement.
“Then get some water and wash your mouth to get rid of the taste.”
I do as I’m told and rinse my mouth repeatedly with fresh faucet water. After gargling some, I spit and drink some water. It’s not particularly cold, but it feels as an icy stab against the acidic fire and dryness in my throat. A little pang of fresh nausea makes me stop drinking, that’s enough for now, let my stomach settle before drinking anymore. The human remains at my side, his arm around my barrel, although is not necessary anymore, but it feels nice. I grab my toothbrush and wash my teeth. The minty paste helps me to get rid of the foul taste and smell.
“I’m gonna need some caffeine and some aspirin in my body… Heh… You ponies have aspirin after all…” He gets up and I feel the cold contrast where he was in contact with my coat moments ago.
I freshen up and wash my face, it helps some. The cool dampness of the water in my face takes away some of pain. I grab a brush and look at myself in the mirror. I almost fall back from the sight. I have bags under my eyes, my coat is matted and my mane is a bird nest. I try to brush it, but the brush catches so hard that it slips out of my hoof and remains there, dangling from my tangled locks, acting as a counterweight and pulling some hair down to obscure my left eye.
Oh Celestia… what else happened this night? I got my stallion drunk and got him to bed… That’s the lowest trick in the world, I feel terrible!
“Hey, how are you…*snort*… oh my… you look charming like that.” He points at my mane, and I stick my tongue to him, but the playfulness quickly turns sour in my mind.
“Uh… I…” I stutter.
“Yes, Cheery?”
“I’m sorry…”
“For what?”
“Ugh…” I need the aspirin; I can’t say two words straight like this.
I go back to the bedroom, where a little tray waits for us with two cups of warm tea, a pitcher of cold water from the ice box and a couple of aspirin fragments. I get comfortable on the bed and take the medicine with some water, he does the same, then he sits on the bed near me and grabs his cup of tea.
“I… I know you told me you wanted to take it slow, and the first thing I do is to get you drunk and take you to my room…” I manage to explain.
“Is that so? Oh… well, then don’t worry about it. It’s fine.”
“But… I feel like I took advantage of you. You know, alcohol makes colts don’t think what they are doing.”
There is a tense silence between us as he looks away in thought.
“I’m not a colt. I’m a grown-up man, and I… well, it’s hard to explain.”
“Still, we agreed in taking this slow, so I feel like I owe you an apology for getting you drunk.”
“Except that I know the effects alcohol has on me and I decided what to drink and how much. Cheerilee, I’m not a naïve teenager who doesn’t know better. To get drunk was absolutely my decision and I knew the possible consequences, and when I wasn’t comfortable to drink anymore, I just stopped.”
“Ugh… but I took you to my house and…”
“I also live here.” He interrupts me.
“Yeah, but it still feels wrong.”
Another pause. I rest my head on the pillow and close my eyes to shut down the world around me for a while. It soothes my headache a little bit.
“I got to that point… I needed to clear my mind and just stop overthinking everything. I got to the conclusion that I wanted some drinks and for once, let things go, just like I used to do back home. Go out, date a girl… stuff. You know, I’ve been living here in Equestria for a long time now, and… it doesn’t seem likely that I’m ever going to be able to go back, so…” He explains. Some of his words are said in his language, but I understand what they mean at this point.
“Well…” I almost say that I’m glad for him, but then I start recalling what happened last night again.
I had read my fair share of romantic novels, like any other mare, and in them, there is always that moment, that apotheosis where everything clicks together and they have an eye-opening date where everything seems so perfect. Celestia, there is even a novel about a mare and a griffon who get at it and, and…
He was explaining how humans rode horses back in his world, and I asked how the human told the horse to walk forward if the horse couldn’t talk. Then, he loomed over me and suddenly pressed his fingers to the sides of my barrel, I squeaked at the unexpected ticklish sensation and walked forward a couple of steps before realizing what was happening and stopped. I looked back, and we stared at each other for a couple of seconds before he collapsed on the floor laughing and proclaiming that it had just worked on me…
With things like that we just made a fool of ourselves. Our night was more trial and error, and error and error than anything else. Two drunkards trying to figure themselves out. It involved more stupid stuff, embarrassments, misunderstandings and a little bit of pain rather than an eye-opening night of novel-like carnal pleasures.
“I… well… I suppose I’m happy that you felt enough at ease around me for all of this to happen…”
“Indeed… what happened was a… something…”
“Yeah, definitely…”
“This day was absolutely… a day…”
“A lot of things happened.”
“Yeah, one thing, then another, and so on…”
“And feelings were felt while those things happened…”
“You are getting frighteningly good at this, Cheery…” At this point we are both barely containing a fit of giggles.
“Practice at things makes you good at those things.”
“That’s the power of nonverbal communication. Just imagine just writing this and getting someone to read it without context… Imagine that the author even forgot to add cues to make it clear who was saying it.”
“Never mind, we would be exchangeable in that conversation and the meaning wouldn’t change.” I smile at him, and then immediately wince as another stab of pain makes me rest my head onto the pillow. It is painful to think, to remember, but…
We were going to my bedroom, giggling and not really sure about what was happening. He made a tickle attack and somehow it was agreed that this was better done on bed, so, without saying a word we were both headed there.
“You know, I’ve always dreamed of carrying my rescued stallion to my bedroom.” I told him.
“It should be the other way around, you know? I should be carrying you in my arms.”
“Does not.”
“Does so!”
“Does not!”
“Does so!”
“Does not!”
“Does so, it’s the way of my people.” He said.
“Does not! double not because it’s the pony way and YOU are in the land of ponies.” I replied.
“Then I will conquer your land and change the rules!”
“You what?” I snorted to contain the laugh.
“Yes, this is my land now, YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” He stood defiantly at the entrance of my bedroom, his limbs extended and covering as much space as possible, more than enough to block the door, except for…
In a swift motion I crouched and went pass him taking advantage of the space he left under his tall legs. Playfully I also lashed up with my tail and hit him while doing so for good measure.
The reaction was instantaneous. A cry of agony that would’ve made any drama actor proud, sounding like the last battle cry of the hero of the play taking a mortal blow, he held his crouch with both hands and rolled on the floor. It made me feel a pang of apprehension through the alcohol and stupidity of the situation, I almost rushed to apologize and help him somehow, but then I heard that between his cries of utter agony were some giggles mixed up. Human stallions are weird…
“And that day… the Omnissiah made me understand the weakness of the flesh…” He muttered.
“…The buck are you talking about?”
The aspirin and cold water help. Probably the water has a more immediate effect, but I feel slightly better. Also, the back rubbing distracts me and provides an enjoyable sensation to compete with the sickness.
“It’s weird… if I close my eyes and we just chat, I would believe you are an amazing girl.” He talks softly. That’s very considerate because he knows my head hurts, probably his head also hurst and that’s why we are both whispering in general.
“Do you have to close your eyes? Am I ugly?”
“You…” He stares at me for a few seconds. “You are adorable.”
“Oh, come on, I’m not cute!” I try to punch his shoulder, but is slightly out of reach and I barely scrape his arm. The whole thing comes as awkward, as everything else we do, stupid human tallness…
He laughs at that…
“Here, let me help you.” He grabs with one hand the handle of the brush and with another the lock of mane that it is tangled with.
With a gentle but firm tug he breaks the knots in my hair while holding it so it doesn’t pull on my scalp. Once untangled he repeats the process and starts to fix the rest of my mane.
As a mare, I should be pristine to my stallion, I should present myself as a strong, beautiful, capable mare, yet, Smarty is weird. He seems to enjoy my company when I’m most vulnerable, when I’m low. Any normal stallion would’ve run away from me ages ago. It was almost embarrassing to have a stallion help me with my awful hangover, almost embarrassing. But after living with him in my house for so long, his presence has become comforting even. I am at ease around him as much as he said he is at ease around me. My house is tidier, cleaner, we cook better food, have more money, do more things…
“You are weird…” I mutter.
“Says the weirdly colored, talking, relatively small equine lifeform from another planet.” He replies.
“Allow myself to remind you that YOU are the alien here, thank you very much.”
“It’s a matter of perspective.”
“Perspective my ass…” I come back at him.
“Wow, do you have a perspective in there?” He pulls my tail and leans back to take a look at something…
“Shoo! Grabby grabbers out of the way!” I free my tail with a quick twirl and lash playfully at his hand with it.
“Wow… a horse just shoo-ed me.”
“That’s what you get.” I make my own version of the ‘canterlot humpf’, pointing my nose up in the air.
He leans in and quickly steals a kiss between my nostrils. But this time, I’m prepared, I have been waiting for it, luring in my prey. I don’t sneeze or stare cross eyed at my muzzle as before, this time I lean in for a lick. I barely manage to lick the tip of his nose as he retreats quickly.
“Woah!” He looks back at me, surprised.
“Yeah… just try that again and see what happens.” I give him a challenging scrunchie. Yeah, that serves you well.
He chuckles, then pets the side of my neck with one of his hands, tracing patterns with his fingers and I melt into his touch, I find myself closing my eyes as he continues to brush away my mane with his other hand, giving it the finishing touches. He broke my guard! That’s unfair!
The sudden moves have caused my headache to become slightly worse, but I feel relaxed again and it starts to fade away. I’m not yet completely recovered, that might take until the afternoon, so the change of pace is a welcome one. He seems to agree as he just rest beside me. Suddenly, something crosses my mind, and I get another small bit of apprehension.
“Uh… by the way…” I hesitate. This is really hard to put into words.
“Yes?” He is listening.
“We agreed to have a… date for the day… didn’t we?” I look at him, searching for any reaction.
“We… yeah, kind of.” He looks back at me.
I find myself looking down, then up at him again. I can’t see myself right now, but I can feel my face turning into the most powerful ‘puppy eyes’ attack ever. He doesn’t look away; he just maintains eye contact and smiles. I can feel a smirk forming in my mouth too.
He leans in and nuzzles my cheek. It’s a very pony gesture, something that, surprisingly enough, we talked about a long time ago. Humans don’t usually nuzzle, they express their affection through hugs and kisses, mostly. Ponies usually nuzzle and lick. He finds the nuzzles adorable and the licks a little disgusting.
I give him a small lick to his cheek now that he is distracted and in range for it. He pulls back, giving me a face of mock disgust while I smile cheekily. He leans in and kisses my cheek in revenge.
“Ugh… my head…” He complains after his sudden movement.
“You did that to yourself.”
“You are the worst.” He replies.
“What about we just lay here forever?” I ask.
“We have to work the day after tomorrow.”
“Don’t remind me… Even thinking about foal squeaks make my head hurt.”
I wriggle my way into a comfortable position, nestling my back against him, and he adapts to my shape and hugs me. I get the best ear scritches ever and I feel myself drifting back to sleep.
“Uh… your tea is getting cold…” He mutters, and I softly kick him.
“Shut up and scratch ear.”