//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: Too Much Too Soon // Story: Hate Me // by Vynce //------------------------------// “Come on, Spike. You know what’s going to happen if we’re late!” Twilight called up the stairs in attempt to wake the sleeping dragon. “It doesn’t even start for three hours!” he shouted back while pulling a pillow over his head. Twilight was nervously pacing in the main room of her library. Just because the event doesn’t start for another three hours doesn’t mean that their schedule would permit lazing about. She had written up their schedule days in advance, today had to go right. She could never live down the guilt if she had messed today up for her friends, so it had to be perfectly organized. “Every second you spend sleeping is a second you lose from breakfast!” she yelled. She had already eaten her own breakfast, and now she was waiting on Spike before she could move on to the next item on her agenda. Didn’t take long for the purple blur to blaze past her face, and a little baby dragon seemed to appear from nowhere at the kitchen table already diving face-first into his bowl of gems. A threat of inflicted pain will get her nowhere with Spike, but a threat to his stomach is an entirely different matter. Spike was done trying to munch gems with his face in the bowl, and had decided to use the ‘funnel-directly-down-the-throat’ technique, one he no doubt picked up on from over-exposure to a certain pink pony. Twilight had advised him against such a method, lecturing him on how it could wreak havoc on his digestive system, but sometimes Spike just couldn’t be taught. At least he’s less stubborn than most dragons, and for that she was thankful. It didn’t take long for Spike to polish off his gems, no pun intended. He waddled over and put his dish in the sink before walking over to Twilight’s side and awaiting the orders he knew were sure to come. Twilight was checking her list for the umpteenth time, and didn’t notice the baby dragon standing just beside her. After a moment of no reaction, Spike decided to give  her a little nudge in the direction of progress. “Reporting for duty, ma’am,” he said as he stood his body rigid and gave a salute. - “Wait a minute, hold your horses!” Discord called out to Twilight on the stage. The purple unicorn paused her story and looked down into her crowd of two. Celestia was staring at Discord and stifling back a laugh at his strange phrase. He paid no attention to the princess next to him, instead focusing his eyes on the unicorn telling the story. “If you didn’t know Spike was standing there, then how are you able to tell it in this story?” Twilight stood stunned for a moment, then smiled embarrassed. “I guess I kinda got carried away,” she began, folding her ears back and glancing around the room. “I love telling stories.” Celestia chuckled with understanding, catching the attention of both of the others in the magical theater. “Stop teasing her, Discord,” she said mirthfully. Discord just smiled in response. “Yeah, stop teasing her!” a familiar voice startled everyone. They all turned to the source of the outburst to find a bouncy pink pony sitting near them in one of the seats. Somehow she managed to look both deadly serious and impossibly cheery. “How did you get in here?” Discord asked, utterly confused. “I didn’t make any entrances!” “Well I was downstairs when I heard this noise that was like WHOOSH and I thought ‘Well that doesn’t sound too good, I wonder if everything’s OK?’ so I came up the stairs to check on you guys and see if anypony was hurt but when I got here there was this swirly purple thing on the door and it looked really funny so I laughed but my laughing wasn’t important because it has nothing to do with how I got here but I told you anyway and I suppose there’s no taking it back. Isn’t it funny how that works when you start saying something and you just start talking about something else and even when you realize it you just can’t seem to stop?” she was hopping in place as she managed to get the whole story out in one breath. Discord gaped at her for a moment, her lung capacity was amazing, but there was something else just slightly more important. “You didn’t answer my question.” He couldn’t help but smile anyway. Her unpredictability was something he loved to see. “Oh you silly filly, I don’t know how I got here!” she snortled and sat back in her seat as if nothing was amiss, watching Twilight expectantly for her to continue the show. For all anypony knew, this was just another day in the life of pink. Discord blinked a few times, kinda disappointed that she couldn’t (or wouldn’t) tell him how she made it inside his illusion. He wouldn’t try to make sense of it, though, because where’s the fun in that? Instead he sat back in his seat as well and rested his arm behind Celestia again, in typical 70’s-theater-flirt fashion. Celestia subconsciously shifted herself to be closer to him. You honestly don’t think you’re getting too comfortable? I honestly don’t think there’s such a thing as ‘too comfortable’. Then you’re more foolish than I thought. Deal with it. “You can continue, Twilight,” he called up to the stage once the whole fiasco had settled. “Alright,” she stated a little flatly. “but I’m skipping ahead to the important bits. That way there’s less risk of trailing off.” Discord simply nodded. - Twilight managed to surface from the sea of books that now filled the library. She looked around at all of the shelves, now standing empty with their books littering the floor instead. The dust that had settled over time was now flying around the room, leaving the whole library with a dull gray tint in the air. She turned her head around to find Spike scrambling his way to the highest peak of book mountain. “Spiiike!” she growled, stretching his name out to let him know just how angry she truly was. The purple dragon stopped in his tracks and flinched, then turned slowly and cautiously to face the accusing unicorn. He idly kicked a book aside and twiddled his claws sheepishly. “Yes?” “Spike I told you we couldn’t have any gems in the house when I cast that spell,” she said sternly. “But I didn’t-” “Don’t even try it, Spike. I know about your ‘secret’ gem stash. I even told you specifically to get rid of it!” Twilight seemed almost in tears, her voice was cracking a little bit. “I’m sorry, Twilight.” Spike hung his head in defeat. Twilight groaned and pulled herself the rest of the way out of the sea of books. She steadied on her hooves before walking carefully toward the door to leave the treehouse. “I’m going to cool down before I get even more angry, Spike. I’ll be back in a- OOF!” Twilight tripped over a particularly large book. Twilight picked up the book with her magic and yelled some nonsensical noises at it. Just taking her anger out on it rather than something more sentient. When she was done with her rant she set it gently on the table next to her, so as to not harm it, and turned to leave the treehouse again. She returned to a clean library, her purple assistant worked fast. Her mood had improved significantly now, she was ready to relax and unwind after such a frustrating day. She cantered over to a shelf to find a nice book to curl up with. Perhaps the dictionary? No, she read that already. She was only on “V” on the encyclopedia, maybe that? She turned to begin walking toward the shelf with her encyclopedia collection when the book from earlier caught her eye. It was still resting on the table where she had set it after her short bout of rage. What was it? The cover had no title she noticed. Curiosity got the better of her in an instant. The thought of a book she had never read before was practically nostalgic for her at this point, she’d read so many that something new was entirely too rare. She swept up the book with her magic and eagerly started up the stairs. Spike was asleep in his basket at the foot of her bed, snoring softly. Twilight had grown used to the sounds of a sleeping baby dragon, the ambient noise had actually become quite relaxing for her. She set her book on her bed and blew out the lights before joining the hardcover tome under the blankets. She opened up the book to find it lacked any real introduction. The first page had the author’s name, ‘Sunshine Smile’. Peculiar name, but this was a peculiar book. Aside from that name the book lacked any real introduction pages, no table of contents or publisher page. Just a name, and then the first chapter. Twilight ignored the book’s oddities for now and began reading. It only took a few paragraphs before she knew what the book was. It seemed to be a history book, but it was based from an odd perspective. It didn’t seem matter-of-fact like most history books, but instead was full of opinions from an apparent witness. This method of writing intrigued her greatly, it was definitely a unique book as far as non-fiction goes. The first chapter flew by faster than you can blow out a candle, and it was all about Discord. Not just any Discord, though; this was about Discord before he seemed to earn his title as the god of chaos. This book must be the oldest written account of Discord in Equestria, but why did the pages seem so new? Twilight again ignored her feelings of confusion at this strange book, and began to wonder a moment which deities the future chapters might hold. Perhaps this was a book of old gods before their reign? Twilight continued on to chapter two. Discord again. The writer seemed to admire him a little bit in this one, but the unicorn supposed that made sense considering it was obviously written before his tyrannical takeover. Would there be any other gods in future chapters? Chapter three, Discord. Chapter four, Discord. Chapter five, Discord. Twilight didn’t care that the book was centered around this particular figure, it was incredibly interesting. The writer’s admiration for the god increased with every chapter, and at this point it seemed almost like a fan’s tribute to the draconequus. Each chapter seemed to be from a later period in time, and by now enough time had passed in the book that any normal pony would have died and turned to dust. How was the writer still alive? Twilight pushed on, and read through chapter after chapter. She couldn’t seem to put the book down, not that she wanted to. As time went on she became more and more focused on the author of the book. Hundreds of thousands of years have passed, Discord had gone from some nice draconequus to evil ruler of Equestria, to a hundred years of self-inflicted exile, and now he was back again. What mortal pony could have possibly witnessed all of this? It seems whoever wrote this book had an impossibly deep affection for him, one that even tried to forgive him for all the atrocities he committed. After a few hours that seemed to just fly by, Twilight finished the book. It had no real ending, it just seemed to stop out of nowhere and left her a little agitated. She immediately sat at her desk and began to write a letter to the princess about it, telling her that she might be interested to see a witness’ account of her old foe. She also might have put something in there about wondering whether Celestia would be able to find if the book had a sequel, who knows? Twilight finished her letter and rolled it up, ready to send in the morning when Spike woke from his sleep. She then lay on her bed and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the much needed slumber that await her. None came. Twilight stood from her bed and paced, she knew exactly why she couldn’t sleep. A good book had a serious effect on Twilight, and this one was left unfinished. She had so many questions and no answers, and that was something Twilight couldn’t stand. She continued her pace, wearing grooves into the floor near her bed. Her mind was flooding with ideas and theories, piecing together a million pieces to a thousand-piece puzzle. Sifting through ones that fit, putting them together, taking them apart, forming full pictures just to find they don’t work. It was a puzzle that couldn’t be solved, and she was wasting her time trying to- Wait. Twilight stopped her pacing. She’d found it. The pieces that fit together, she finally had them. The book was written first person, a history filled with opinion. It was written by an individual and never published by any major company, so this could be one of only a few dozen tomes in existence, or even the only one. The writer wrote about the events as they happened, and had seen thousands of years of these events. No mortal pony could live that long, so the writer was obviously immortal. No normal pony would write such an impressively large book without the intent to make a profit, so the writer must already be wealthy. No normal pony uses such a strange pen name as “Sunshine Smile”. Immortal. Rich. Respect for power. Ties with great astral bodies. It’s logical to think our writer is one of the two princesses. Then take into consideration that some entries of this book were written during the thousand years of Luna’s banishment then it’s safe to assume that the writer is Celestia. - “And since it’s apparent from this book that Celestia has feelings for Discord-” Twilight stopped, realizing she had trailed off in her own thoughts again. She dropped to the floor of the stage, cowering behind her own hooves. “I’m so sorry, princess! I didn’t mean to make assumptions!” Discord began howling with laughter as Celestia sunk in her seat next to him, with cheeks that made beets look white. Discord hadn’t seen her, though, much to her relief. The draconequus managed to calm himself after a few moments, wiping a tear from his eye as his laughter trailed off and quieted. “Miss Sparkle,” he began, his voice still bouncing a little from his fit, “I’m very proud of you.” Twilight lifted her face from behind her legs, looking at Discord inquisitively. “You mean I’m correct?” she asked cautiously, afraid of the touchy subject they were treading on. “Absolutely not,” he replied mirthfully, causing the unicorn to droop her head again. “I always love it when ponies lose their minds. Oh, and to think you were so brilliant! Celestia, can you believe-” Discord stopped when he turned to see Celestia’s furious blush and shying face. “Celestia?” The alabaster mare sat still, not giving any response whatsoever for fear of what she might let slip. Perhaps it’s best the other two make their assumptions, and she’ll see where it goes from there. “Oh you can’t be serious,” he tried to sound shocked, but everyone could hear how fake his tone was. “Umm... I’ll be right back!” Pinkie Pie shouted, startling Twilight and Celestia, who had forgotten she was sitting in the theater with them. She seemed to disappear, leaving a pink puff in her seat where she once sat and vanishing from sight. Ignoring the sudden activity behind him Discord leaned in to Celestia, putting his pawn on her back in what he hoped was a comforting yet reserved action. “Celestia, are you alright?” “I’m fine,” her voice cracked, eliciting a tiny chuckle from Discord. “If you insist. I suppose the show’s over, we got what we came for.” I don’t believe we did. “I don’t believe we did,” Celestia spoke up, startling Discord. How did you do that? Great minds think alike. There’s only one great mind between the two of you. Never compare yourself to her again. “Care to elaborate?” Discord began, though he already knew what she was going to say next. “She gave us a reason for what she did, but she still hasn’t told us what it was that she did. We have ‘why’, now we need ‘what’,” Celestia turned to the stage to look at Twilight, who had yet to stop shaking beneath her own hooves. “Twilight, you are forgiven for your assumptions. Please continue to explain yourself.” Twilight nodded and sat up nervously, biting her lip. “Well, after I found out about that... stuff, I kind of took it on myself to see that you two got a chance to work together on something.” Celestia raised her brow confused, wordlessly hinting to Twilight that more details were necessary. “I thought that if you came together to work for a common goal, that you would...” Twilight hung her head again, saying it out loud made her plan seem all the more absurd. “You were playing matchmaker?” Celestia asked, half shocked and half impressed by her student’s initiative. “I suppose you could say that. I’m sorry!” “No need to apologize. I’m just happy that you’re alright. I have some questions, though.” “Ok, I’ll answer whatever you need,” Twilight became rather nervous at the thought of being interrogated by the princess. “Firstly, I want to know how you triggered the discordant spell, and why you believed that would work.” Celestia sounded serious, but with a noticeable hint of curiosity. “After the first encounter with the spell I studied its effects. Turns out that Discord has used that spell hundreds of times throughout history, sometimes even on entire civilizations at once. I found that severe emotional responses can trigger the effect as long as a certain recipient has been under the effects of the spell before, and if they still have dormant traces of the magic.” Twilight paused for breath, she realized she was speaking fast in hopes that a swift answer would mean swift resolution, and this little interview would soon be over. “As for why I thought it would work, it was just one theory in a list of many. I chose to try it first, and from the looks of it I chose correctly.” “Hmm,” Celestia began to smile at her student’s ingenuity. “I suppose you did. But if it didn’t work, weren’t you scared that you might be stuck that way forever?” Twilight smiled as she prepared to give her brilliant response. She always loved when she got a chance to prove her own genius, one of her few vain traits. “I was fully confident that I would be able to return to normal had my plan not gone the way I hoped. I informed my friends of my condition, and showed them how they would be able to cure me should any complications arise while I was under the effects of the spell. I had worked out the cause, symptoms, diagnosis technique and the cure.” Celestia involuntarily clapped her hooves together, the way she used to when Twilight was still a filly, just after becoming the princess’ personal protege. Celestia would always cheer with encouragement when Twilight had any significant success in her studies of magic. Twilight blushed the way she always used to, Celestia’s praise always made her feel more proud than her cheeks could handle. “I’m very proud of you, Twilight,” the princess began happily, but her tone quickly changed to one more serious. “but I’m still very shocked by you. You had seen what Discord was capable of firsthoof, and still you risked everypony by putting us in a situation where I was forced to release him.” Discord almost took it as a compliment when she referred to his capabilities, only the term ‘release him’ kept him grounded. He continued listening quietly, however, not wanting to interrupt her mild chastisement. “I’m sorry, princess. I won’t interfere in the lives of other ponies anymore, I promise.” “I believe you should meditate on your actions, and I have nothing more to ask of you,” the princess’ tone softened. Twilight sighed audibly, glad to be done with the questioning. She dared not speak up again, for fear that the awkwardness of the entire moment would only intensify. They all sat in silence for a minute absorbing all of the information that the past hour had brought to light, when a voice called out from the back of the theater. “How do I get out of here?” Pinkie Pie asked in frustration.