*YAWN*
Darn yawns.
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Oh shoot, the camera's recording already.
Ahem.
Hi, everypony, and welcome to another episode of Twilight Tries!
So I’m just going to get right into what it is I’m going to be trying today because I’m sure it’s going to require a bit of explanation and I don’t want this video to be super long. In today’s episode, I’m going to try…becoming a cockroach!
Aaand I’m sure some of you have already stopped watching.
Well for those of you who haven’t clicked off this video yet, let me explain why it is I want to try and become a cockroach. You see, I was reading a book on insects the other day and I came across a surprisingly interesting chapter on cockroaches. Now of course we all know that cockroaches are disease-ridden pests that are incredibly annoying because they’re so difficult to kill, but I don’t think many of us have ever stopped to ask why it is cockroaches are so difficult to kill. Well according to my book, the answer is because they have an extremely strong and flexible exoskeleton that allows them to withstand nearly 900 times their own body weight. 900 times! Isn’t that incredible?!
So anyways, after I read that I started to wonder: What if ponies had an exoskeleton too? One that was just as strong and flexible as that of the cockroach?
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Oh come on, Spike, that is not a weird thing to wonder!
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Yes I know I haven’t gotten much sleep lately because I’ve been so busy with princess duties, but I don’t see what that has to do with any of this!
*YAWN*
Anywhoo, the more I thought about ponies having a strong exoskeleton like the cockroach the more it sounded like something that could really be beneficial for just about everypony. I mean, just think about it. If we could withstand 900 times our own body weight then construction ponies wouldn’t have to worry about getting hurt on the job. Pegasi wouldn’t have to worry about falling out of the sky to their deaths. Soldiers wouldn’t have to worry about dying on the battlefield! Why, with the power of the cockroach ponykind could become invincible I tell you, invincible!
Ahahahaha!
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Will you stop going on about my lack of sleep, Spike! I’m perfectly fine!
So right now you may be asking yourself, ‘Okay, Twilight, but what does this have to do with you trying to become a cockroach?’. Well the answer is simple: If I want to learn the secrets of the cockroach, then I must become the cockroach. Oh sure, I could probably spend countless years studying cockroaches to try and learn their secrets, but who has the time and patience for that? I know I don’t.
Well, maybe I have the patience, but I definitely don’t have the time.
So, yep, the only sensible thing for me to do in this situation is to use my magic to become a cockroach.
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Well of course I can do that, Spike! Don’t you remember when I used that spell to turn our friends and myself into breezies?! It’s a pretty simple spell once you know how to cast it!
And speaking of that spell, now seems like a good time to introduce my assistant for this little experiment.
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Oh for –
He’s just going to be my assistant for this video, Spike! You don’t need to get all jealous!
It’s the Owlowiscious incident all over again.
*YAWN*
Besides, you can’t be my assistant for this experiment anyway! It can only be Antonio!
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And I just inadvertently revealed who my assistant is going to be.
Kinda.
Okay, everypony, if you’ll just follow me over here real quick I’ll show you who it is that’s going to be assisting me today.
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Ta-da!
Meet Antonio, the cockroach that I found scurrying around just outside Trixie’s house!
Which both does and does not surprise me.
Hello in there, Antonio. Are you excited to be a part of this experiment today? I bet you are, yes you are.
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Oh it is not weird that I’m talking to Antonio that way, Spike! Or that I even named a cockroach Antonio!
Now Martin, that would be a weird name for a cockroach.
At any rate, Antonio here is going to assist me by being the cockroach I need to make my spell work. See, in order for this particular transfiguration spell to work properly you need to have a member of the species you want to turn into present so that the spell has a genetic blueprint it can – aaand I’m getting unnecessarily technical right now, aren’t I?
Sorry.
Well to summarize it all up in one sentence, Antonio is going to act as a template so that my spell knows what to turn me into.
Oh, and don’t worry about me getting stuck as a cockroach. I’ll still have access to my magic while transformed, so I’ll be able to turn myself back into a pony once I’ve learned what I need to.
*YAWN*
Ugh, all this annoying yawing.
Note to self: Find a cure for excessive yawning once cockroach experiment is done.
Okay, well I think I’ve explained everything I need to now, so let’s get this show on the road!
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Will you stop worrying, Spike! Everything’s going to be fine!
*YAWN*
I just…need to get the spell going like this, and then…then I’ll finally learn the…the secrets of the…the…
*POOF*
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*SNORING*
Huh, wha…what happened? Did I…did I fall asleep?
Oh darn it, I think I did. I don’t remember it being quite so dark outside before.
I guess I wasn’t perfectly fine after all.
Hey, uh, Spike?! Sorry I was so, you know, testy earlier! You were right about me needing some sleep!
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Spike?!
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Huh, he must have gone out or something.
Well now that I’m more rested I have to say, this whole ‘becoming a cockroach’ thing really does seem kind of silly. I mean I still think that the cockroach’s strong exoskeleton is interesting and everything, but I don’t think turning myself into a cockroach to learn their secrets and give ponies equally strong exoskeletons is such a good idea anymore.
Boy, the things a sleep-deprived mind can come up with.
So with that I think I’ll end this episode here. So as always, thanks for watching, everypony, and I’ll see you next time on – huh?
Antonio?
Why are you crawling around on my hoof like that?
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Wait a second, you’re not Antonio. Why, you almost look like…like…SPIKE?!
Oh my gosh, Spike, is that really you?! I…I must have accidently cast the transfiguration spell on you right before I fell asleep!
Okay, okay, no need to panic. If you just get back down on the floor I can change you back into a dragon.
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*POOF*
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Oh, Spike, I am so, so sorry I turned you into a cockroach! Can you ever forgive me?!
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Deal. If you forgive me I promise I’ll star in that one-pony play you wrote.
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Yes, and I’ll make sure Rarity comes to see the play too.
Oy vey.
Okay, well, I think I’m really going to end this episode now. So once again, thanks for watching, everypony, and I’ll see you next time on Twilight Tries!
So I have to ask, Spike, what was it like being a cockroach?
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I see. How interesting.
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Oh, you say you were able to talk to Antonio? And that his name isn’t actually Antonio? Yeah, I guess the random name I decided to give him had a pretty low chance of being his actual name, huh?
So, what is his name then?
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M-Martin?
Oh dear. I should probably apologize to him for that comment I made earlier about Martin being a weird name for a cockroach.