Another day of affection therapy sessions at the spa has come to a close. Has it really only been one day? It feels like it lasted at least a week, even more so than the previous day. Perhaps your visit from Princess Luna has something to do with it. Did that really only happen this morning? Is tomorrow going to feel just as long, if not longer? Is every day working at the spa going to feel like this from now on?
While you’re still pondering over how much can happen in just one day, you start packing up and preparing to leave. There are still a few cookies left over, but you’re glad that you’ve hit upon such a welcome means of showing comfort and hospitality. You’ll have to thank Pinkie for not only giving you some useful recipes, but also some useful baking tips. Of course, you’ll have to leave the more unique recipes that she shared with you, such as jelly bean cookies or peppermint cupcakes, to her. Somehow, those feel like the kind of treats that should remain the sole property and product of her imagination.
As you close up the office, you once again come across Aloe and Lotus to bid them good night. Just like yesterday, you present each of them with one of the leftover cookies, which they graciously accept. With that, you leave the spa, but after only stepping away from the door, you stop.
You half-expected to see Rose waiting for you, just as she had been yesterday, but there’s no sign of her. Around this time, the market stalls would all be closed by now, and she, Daisy, and Lily would all be off for home, or doing whatever they needed to once their day was done. That doesn’t really bother you. After all, you can’t expect her to put herself out of her way for you all the time. You wouldn’t ask that of her.
There’s another reason you’ve stopped. For a moment, you felt inclined to turn towards home and start getting ready for the next day. A sudden jolt had brought you a halt, however. Luna’s reassuring advice, and the promise you had made, ring vividly in your mind, clear as a bell. You’d been bracing yourself for this all day, and now’s the time to fulfill your promise.
It’s time to tell Rose the truth.
You had decided that, first and foremost, it should be Rose whom you confide in about what’s been on your mind, the thoughts and worries you had been trying to suppress and keep down. Twilight would be the next one to tell, since she’s been so supportive and helpful to you, and has been instrumental in getting your affection therapy practice off the ground, but deep down, you feel sure that Rose ought to be the first to know. She opened up to you about her own worries not too long ago, so it would be a poor return of her friendship if you didn’t do the same. You only hope it won’t be too much for her to take.
With that in mind, you set your course for Rose’s house. You see plenty of ponies still milling about as you go, some of whom have already had sessions with you. You pass Lyra and Bon Bon, strolling so close to each other that they could have gripped their tails together. They both give you a friendly smile as you pass them, which you return.
You pass by Sugarcube Corner. There seems to be a party going on. You hear music drifting out, and hooves stomping to its beat as ponies cheer, while a voice that’s unmistakably Pinkie Pie’s sings along to it. You almost feel inclined to pause and take a peek inside, but you can’t let yourself be distracted. You’ve already put this off for too long. Besides that, when Pinkie invites you to a party, even while the party itself is going on, you’re there until it’s over.
You pass by Carousel Boutique. Rarity is speaking with Fluttershy at the front door. They don’t see you as you pass by, and you can’t hear what they’re talking about, but you know better than to interrupt a conversation in progress, so you continue on. Whatever it is that they’re discussing, it seems to be serious, as Fluttershy has a weary frown on her face, and Rarity looks sympathetic. You wonder if it has anything to do with what Fluttershy was worrying about before, concerning her brother.
You see Spoiled Rich, alongside her daughter Diamond Tiara. She’s a filly about the same age as the Crusaders, with a pink coat, blue eyes, a well-groomed purple mane and tail streaked with white, and a silver tiara on her head that matches her cutie mark. As you approach, Spoiled Rich spots you, her eyes widening in momentary surprise. She looks rather awkward, but she still nods her head in token of greeting. You nod in return, giving her a smile that, while she doesn’t quite return, doesn’t seem to disagree with her. You look down at Diamond Tiara, who’s noticed her mother’s behavior, but simply moves closer to her side in a reassuring way, giving you a friendly little smile as she looks at you. You’re certainly glad to see that Spoiled Rich appears to be making an honest effort to be, if not more openly friendly, then at least less hostile. Diamond Tiara seems to appreciate it as well, though you’re doubtful her mother would have told her she had attended a therapy session that opened her eyes to how she’d been acting.
Finally, you arrive outside Rose’s house. The lights are on, so you know she’s already home, as you’d hoped she would be. You just hope you’re not catching her at a bad time.
You knock, and about half a minute later, the door opens. There stands Rose, looking a bit tired at first, but her face lights up with delight as she sees who it is.
“Well, hi!” she says, brightly.
“Hello, Rosie,” you say.
“I hope you weren’t waiting for me at the spa. I thought about meeting you there like I did yesterday, but today was a really busy day, and I just felt like heading home and putting my hooves up.”
“Oh, no, don’t worry about that. I just came by because…”
You pause. Now that you hear that Rose is tired, you’re not so sure whether this is a good time. She just wants to rest after a long day at work, and here you are coming by with revelatory news. That doesn’t seem fair.
Rose tilts her head with a puzzled look at your hesitation.
“Because what?” she asks.
You take a deep breath. You’ve gone in too deep to just back out now, and you don’t want to lie to her. It’s now or never.
“…Because I have something important I need to tell you,” you say. “Something I should’ve told you a long time ago.”
Rose looks mystified by this. Her green eyes have gone wide.
“Really?” she asks. “Well, by all means, come in!”
“Are you sure? You did say you had a busy day and-”
“Oh, don’t worry about that. I’m not going to make you stand outside and talk. Besides, you’re always welcome here, no matter what time it is. Please, come on in.”
She steps out of the way to allow you to come in. You still don’t want to impose, but Rose has insisted on letting you in, and when she insists on something, you know better than to try and argue with her. Sweet as Rose is, you don’t want to annoy her.
So, you take her up on her offer and walk in. The two of you take your accustomed places on her sofa, and you place the plate you’re carrying onto her coffee table. You see Rose’s eyes follow it, her eyes lighting up with interest.
“I still have some cookies left over from today’s sessions,” you say. “Would you like one?”
“Is this your way of buttering me up for dropping in unannounced?” Rose asks, coyly.
“Not intentionally, no,” you say. “And didn’t you just tell me it was no trouble?” you add, wryly.
“Fair point,” said Rose, giggling. “I’d love one, thank you.”
She picks one up and nibbles at it in that dainty way of hers.
“Mmm. Delicious, just like all your treats. You really spoil your clients, you know that?”
“I’m not about to apologize for adding to their feelings of comfort and contentment,” you say, chuckling. “That’s the whole point of affection therapy, after all.”
“Nor should you apologize,” says Rose, with another giggle. “I just hope it’s not too much bother whipping up a batch of treats every day.”
“No, it never takes long,” you say. “I’ve set it as one of the last things I do before going to bed, so that they’re nice, cool, and still fresh by the next day. It also helps that Pinkie loves sharing recipes and baking tips. It’s thanks to her that I’m able to provide a nice addition to my therapy sessions.”
“That’s very sweet of her, and very like Pinkie Pie,” says Rose, taking another bite.
Soon, she’s polished her cookie off and wiped away the crumbs. Now she turns to face you.
“So, what’s on your mind? What have you been wanting to tell me?”
This is it: the moment of truth. You take a deep breath, then let it out slowly.
“First of all, Rose,” you say, “I want to apologize for not telling you any of this sooner. You’re my first and best friend, and I’ve kept you in the dark for so long. My only defense is that I didn’t want to saddle you with my whole life story, especially when it’s…not a happy one.”
Rose looks at you with sympathy, and puts a hoof on your hand.
“It’s fine,” she says. “It wouldn’t have been my place to ask anyway, if you weren’t comfortable telling me. I also know that I can get a bit…flustered easily,” she adds, her ears drooping, “so I don’t blame you for not wanting to potentially freak me out.”
“I always did think you were the tough one, though,” you say, with a small smile. “Well, compared to how Daisy and Lily can get, I mean. No offense to them, of course.”
Rose laughs.
“Don’t worry about it,” she says. “It’s long become something of an inside joke for us. We’re still working to get better at it, but it’s at least something we can laugh about.”
That’s something you’ve always admired about Rose. She’s a tougher pony than she gives herself credit for, and she and her two friends are well aware of and even working towards overcoming major faults. It’s a far cry from a lot of ponies in Manehattan, who preferred to push away their problems and even blame them on others, rather than take accountability.
“You’re sure you want to hear what I have to say?” you ask. “Like I said, it’s not a happy story.”
There’s a pause. Then, with a resolute look in her eyes, Rose draws herself closer so that she’s nestled beside you, still holding your hand, and says,
“I’m sure.”
“Well, all right, then,” you say. “I’m not the best storyteller, but I’ll do the best I can. It all started several years ago, before I came to Equestria…”
***
Something else you admire about Rose is what a good listener she is. She listens to the recitation of your tale in its entirety, without taking her eyes off you. She giggles when you bring up your initial childish hopes about living in Equestria (“You must’ve been such an adorable little boy,” she says) and smiles glowingly at the bond you shared with your mother. You know it won’t last, and you feel guilty that what you’re going to say next will burst her bubble, but you have to carry on.
Sure enough, the smile she gained slowly fades as you describe your foster life, grimacing as you talk about the detached coldness of your foster father. When you reach the moment when the fateful letter arrived, bearing its bad news, Rose actually gives a tiny gasp, covering her muzzle with her hoof as her eyes grow wide. You pause there, as you need to steady yourself in turn. Remembering that moment is always painful.
“I had no idea…” Rose whispered. “I’m so sorry…”
“It’s all right,” you say, quietly. “It’s been years, but I still think about it…”
Rose gives your arm a squeeze with her hoof. Her comforting touch steadies your nerves. You feel like you can go on now. You continue with your tale, and Rose listens in shocked and sad silence as you relate your state of affairs after that fateful day: the increasing coldness of your foster father, your futile attempts to integrate in Manehattan society, and your eventual decision to move to Ponyville.
“But even after all that,” you say, “I still hear his voice in my head. It’s persistent, and it comes up whenever I’m feeling doubt, whenever I second-guess myself. I thought I’d gotten away from that life, but it looks like I was wrong. I haven’t escaped it at all…”
Rose looks at you in stunned silence, tears sparkling at the corners of her eyes. Finally, she speaks.
“You poor thing,” she says, in a voice barely louder than a whisper.
She puts her hooves about you and pulls you into a hug. You don’t do anything to resist it, and why would you? What she does next is a bit of a surprise, though. You feel her start to pet your head, running her hoof through your hair. Fluttershy did the same thing when she asked to reciprocate the affection therapy you gave her. It was an oddly soothing feeling then, and it feels the same way now. You feel yourself sinking deeper into Rose’s embrace, until you find yourself resting your head on her shoulder, as she continues to gently pet.
“You’ve been holding onto this for so long,” said Rose, soothingly. “I can’t even imagine how much pain you’ve been in, and you’ve been helping ponies with their own pains.”
You say nothing. You just allow her to talk and pet.
“I know you didn’t want to make me or anypony worried, and I completely understand, but you needed somepony to talk to about this sooner. If you keep all of these feelings bottled up, they’re going to break out and explode when you don’t want them to.”
You shift guiltily. Luna said much of the same.
“To be honest, that kind of already happened,” you mutter.
Rose pauses.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, during my last couple of therapy sessions yesterday, I was reminded of some things from my past, and I got…a little emotional.”
“Oh,” says Rose, quietly. “I see.”
“Thankfully, the ponies who had sessions when that happened were very understanding,” you say, “more than I feel I deserved. They encouraged me that I needed someone to talk to about what I was feeling.”
“That was very sweet of them,” says Rose. “And I’m the pony you wanted to confide in?”
“Well, of course,” you say. “You’re the one pony I feel the most comfortable talking to.”
Rose continues patting your head, and she gives you a little nuzzle as well.
“If I can be honest a bit further, though,” you say, “Princess Luna got to me first.”
“Princess Luna?” Rose echoes.
There’s a pause, then she says, slowly and quietly,
“Ohhh, I see. It got all mixed up in your dreams, didn’t it?”
“Yeah,” you say. “I’ve had dreams about my past before, but never like that. I’ve never needed Princess Luna to step in and save me.”
“I can’t remember speaking with Luna in my dreams before either,” says Rose. “I mean, there was that time when all of Ponyville had a shared dream to fight some kind of monster. It was really weird.”
It certainly sounds weird. You’ll have to ask her about that later.
“So, she told you that you should talk to someone you trusted?”
“Yes,” you say, “but there was more. She also said…”
You pause. In spite of the comfortable feeling of being with your best friend, of having her at your side and soothing you, the other half of Luna’s advice still twists your insides into an uncomfortable knot.
“What else did she say?” Rose prompts, gently.
You swallow, but even then, your throat feels tight as you speak.
“She said…that since the voice in my head was…was his voice…that I’d have to…have to…talk with him.”
There’s a deep silence after you force this truth out. Rose once again pauses in her comforting petting. You look up at her face, and you can see a troubled look in her green eyes.
“Talk with him,” she echoes, quietly. “Talk with the pony you want to think about the least…”
You nod silently.
“And you said that he was cold and distant while you were staying with him?” Rose asks.
You let out a deep sigh.
“He never felt like a father to me,” you say. “He let me stay, he didn’t starve me, but he never made me feel like I was welcome. My foster mom and foster brother stood by me, but maybe that’s why he liked me even less: he was the only one who didn’t like me. Nothing I did was ever good enough for him, and I’ve had to live with his voice in my head, trying to break me down.”
Rose puts both forelegs around you and gives you a close hug.
“He doesn’t know what he was missing out on,” she says, firmly. “Any pony would be lucky to have you as part of their family. It’s his fault he couldn’t see that.”
You feel tears come into your eyes at this. You put your hand on Rose’s hoof and give it a squeeze.
“Thanks, Rosie,” you say. “Princess Luna still thinks I should talk with him, though.”
“Are you going to?”
There’s another pause. That’s not an easy question to answer
“I know I should,” you say, finally. “I’m not going to be able to move past this until I confront him, but that doesn’t mean I’m looking forward to it.”
“Of course not,” says Rose. “Facing someone who’s made such a negative impact on you is never going to be easy. He probably doesn’t even realize the effect he’s had on you.”
“I hope you haven’t had to deal with anything like that,” you say.
“Well, no, not personally,” says Rose. “I do know ponies who have gone through tough situations like that, though. When you’re a shopkeeper, ponies like to shoot the breeze about anything, even more sensitive things. I don’t encourage it, of course. It just…happens.”
You nod. It’s your job to listen to what’s troubling ponies and do what you can to help them. Shopkeepers and business owners, ones that ponies see every day, often build up a rapport, one that extends to those ponies keeping said shopkeepers and business ponies in the know about personal matters, for better or for worse. You’d never thought to talk about that kind of thing with Rose before.
“So, what should I do?” you ask. “I can’t just drop everything and take a trip to Manehattan, right after I’ve started a new job.”
“I know,” said Rose. “I wouldn’t advise that either. Have you been in contact with your foster family at all?”
“Sure,” you say. “I’ve written letters. It’s always been my foster mom or foster brother who replies. They’ve been doing well since the last time I heard from them, which was before I got my job at the spa.”
“That’s good,” says Rose. “Well, maybe you should write them a letter now. Let them know what you’ve been up to, how you have a new job now, and how you’d like to meet up and talk with them in person. It’ll be a start, at least.”
“Yeah,” you say. “It’ll be a slow start, but still a start. I should also talk to Twilight, too. She’s the one pony besides you that I feel like I ought to confide in.”
Rose smiles.
“I think you’re right,” she says. “She’s the Princess of Friendship, and she’s been giving you a lot of help with getting affection therapy started. I’m sure she’ll be able to help.”
“Yeah,” you say. “The thing is, should I talk to her first and then write a letter, or write first and then talk to her?”
“Good question,” says Rose, thoughtfully. “This is just my opinion, but maybe it’d be better to talk with her first. She might even give you some good advice on what to put into your letter. I know she has Spike take a lot of notes when they’re out and about.”
That’s certainly true. Twilight has a natural inclination towards note-taking, as you noticed when she tried to document the sensations of affection therapy during her own session. Her assistance in writing a proper letter to get the process going would be invaluable.
“That’s true,” you say. “Do you think I ought to see her tonight, though, or should I wait until tomorrow? I don’t know if I can go through another day of sessions with the anticipation of talking to her hanging over my head.”
“I understand,” says Rose. “I don’t think it would hurt to try calling on her tonight. I’m sure Twilight would be more than happy to set time aside for a friend.”
“You’re right,” you say. “Thanks, Rose, and thanks for bearing with my tale of woe.”
Rose gives you a sympathetic look.
“Do you feel ok after telling it?” she asks.
You pause to consider. Do you feel better, now that you put your thoughts and worries out into the open?
“...I do,” you finally say. “It still hurts to think about, but knowing a dear friend like you was willing to hear me out while I got it off my chest makes it feel…less hurtful. I know it was a heavy story to tell you, so I hope you’re ok after hearing it.”
Rose smiles tenderly.
“I am,” she says. “It was certainly a lot to take in, and I’m sorry that you’ve been holding it back for so long, but I’m glad you felt comfortable confiding in me. I want to be here to support you no matter what, so don’t be afraid to tell me anything you need to get off your chest.”
“I won’t, Rosie,” you say. “Be afraid, that is.”
Rose giggles, then pulls you into a warm hug, which you gladly return.
“I know I’m a broken record for saying so,” you say, “but I feel incredibly lucky to have a friend like you.”
“Right back at you,” says Rose, nuzzling your cheek.
You ease apart, then you stand up from the couch. Rose follows suit.
“I’d better head to Twilight’s castle,” you say. “Hopefully it won’t be too late to call on her.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” says Rose.
“Would you like the rest of these cookies?” you ask, gesturing to the plate on the coffee table. “Think of it as compensation for listening to a sad story after a long day.”
Rose giggles.
“Don’t worry about it,” she says. “If anything, you should take them to Twilight. You could call it compensation for calling upon her at night.”
You laugh.
“Not a bad idea,” you say, picking up the plate.
“Besides,” says Rose, “any more of your treats at once, and I might not be able to fit in the new dress you delivered to me.”
She pouts in exaggeration, and you both laugh. Rose walks you to the front door.
“Good night, Rosie,” you say.
“Good night,” says Rose.
She gives you one last sweet smile, then closes the door behind you. You let out a long sigh. It really did feel good to get all of that out in the open with Rose, though you still feel guilty for dropping a heavy story like that on her out of the blue, even if she did accept hearing it. You really don’t feel like you deserve to have such an understanding and patient friend, especially when you kept all of that hidden for so long.
You give your head a shake. You can beat yourself up about it all you want, but it’s not going to make things any better. Besides, it’s a bad habit, one you really need to work at. For now, you turn your steps in the direction of Twilight’s castle, mentally preparing yourself for yet another revelatory talk, and hoping to get some good advice in return.