//------------------------------// // Chapter 81 (Party Pooped) // Story: Spike The Brony Dragon // by red4567 //------------------------------// “I can’t believe this is happening!” Twilight rubbed her temples as I reread the letter she’d gotten from Princess Celestia. Celestia’s letter in question talked about the success of the summit. In fact, it was so successful, she was willing to open borders with one of Equestria’s neighboring regions: Yakyakistan. “Yeah, I can’t believe it either,” I replied. In truth, I knew that this episode, “Party Pooped,” would happen. In the show, the yaks come over to unify with Equestria, and Twilight was responsible for the whole ordeal. Unfortunately, too many bad first impressions ended up with Yakyakistan declaring war on Equestria. It would’ve ended badly had Pinkie Pie not come up with a better idea for a party. That and the train conductors being too stupid to know what the cow catcher in front of their locomotive was for. This wasn’t my most favorable episode, mostly because it put yaks in a bad light despite the ending. In fact, it wasn’t until Yona showed up that they grew on me. Hopefully, my idea to fix this episode would change that. Hopefully. “You know, I think I might know somepony who can help you,” I said. “Oh, good,” Twilight said as she slowed her breathing. “Bring them here if you can. I’ll try to find research on Yakyakistan.” As Twilight went into the library, I left the castle and made my way to Sugarcube Corner. “Hello, Mr. Cake,” I greeted as I entered the confectionery. “Is Pinkie Pie around?” “Hey, Spike,” Mr. Cake replied. “She might be. Last time I saw her, she said she needed to do some organization then went up to her room. I think she’s still up there, but I haven’t heard any of her hoofbeats.” “I see. I'll see if she’s available myself.” I headed towards the stairs before stopping myself. “Quick question. When you and Mrs. Cake started working here, were you aware of any secret rooms or floors?” “I don’t know about ‘secret’, kid, but there have been a lot of unused rooms at first. I can’t tell if they still are.” “I see.” I headed up the stairs until I was at Pinkie’s room. However, I found neither her nor Gummy. Then that means… I went over to the banister leading upstairs. I pressed on top of the ice cream cone statue. Within seconds, the trapdoor swung open just inches behind me. I grabbed onto the railing to retain my balance. There it is. I took a deep breath and jumped onto the slide. I immediately landed in a room filled with filing cabinets and party supplies as far as the eye could see. I approached a table that had a few folders. They were ponies I haven’t seen often, but I was sure they live in Ponyville. Pinkie wasn’t joking when she said she knew everypony in Ponyville. I wondered how she finds her information about other ponies. I did recall her having access to some of Ponyville’s files in the town hall at one point in the show. I was about to look into one of the folders when I heard a loud stomp approaching me. “You picked the wrong party cave, thief!” Pinkie shouted as she marched from the darkness with a pinata stick. “Hey! Hey!” I grabbed a chair. “Pinkie Pie! Wait! It’s me, Spike! Relax! Relax!” “Spike?” Pinkie tossed the stick aside. “Oh, that’s a relief. I thought you were somepony else. How did you get down here?” “The door was open,” I replied. That was a half-truth this time. “I really need to fix that.” “So what’s all this?” I pointed to all the files. “You’ve got a secret party cave going on here?” “Well…not so secret anymore. Was anypony else with you?” “Don’t worry, I was by my lonesome. My lips are sealed.” “What are you doing here anyway? Were you looking for me?” “As a matter of fact, yes. You see, Twilight needs to entertain some guests…” “And you want me to help her throw a party?” “Heh, your Pinkie Sense never fails.” “I’ll be happy to do it! Just one thing, I need you to do me a favor.” “Which is?” “Help me file some of these folders.” I did just that. There were a lot of files to organize. In fact, there was so many, I was sure that Pinkie Pie was somehow Twilight in disguise. The organization of the Ponyville population was not just for killing time, however. With Pinkie’s permission, I was able to learn about some of the girls’ birthdays and ages. I also learned why they don’t have parties. Rarity’s birthday was in early December, but she prefers not to party because she wishes to keep her age a secret. Her birth date indicated she was 23, the same age as Twilight. Applejack’s age was 25, the same age as Rainbow Dash. Her birthday was in late September. The reason why she prefers not to have an extravagant party is that she feels like a birthday isn’t all that special. Although, according to her file, she was willing to give the party a try on her next birthday. Finally, Fluttershy’s age was 24, and her birthday was in late May. Being shy, she doesn’t like having a big party. That was fine by me. Not everypony enjoys a big party. Since Fluttershy was a year older than Pinkie Pie, I used simple math to confirm the latter’s age was 23. After Pinkie and I organized the last of the files, we sat down at the nearby table. “Thanks for helping me, Spike,” said Pinkie. “Now then, tell me more about this party you and Twilight want. Spare no detail!” I replied, “Okay, so Twilight got this letter from Princess Celestia about how successful the Royal Summit was in Canterlot.” “I’ve heard about that summit. Go on.” “So she decided to unify with areas outside of Equestria. One such area is Yakyakistan. If the name doesn’t give it away, it’s populated by yaks.” “Ohhh, you want me to help Twilight throw a party to introduce these yaks to Equestria?” “That’s the gist of it.” “Then consider it done. Just one teensy problem: I don’t know anything about yaks. Hmm…I could hurry over to Yakyakistan to learn a few of their concepts. What do you think, Spike?” I scratched my chin. While the idea of heading there early wasn’t at bad idea, I still remembered what Discord said about fate. If he was telling the truth, then Pinkie would end up sliding all the way back to Ponyville just like in the show. I shook my head. “I doubt there’ll be enough time. Plus, I’m not sure if they’ll let you in when you arrive there.” “That’s true. Oh! Oh, oh! I have another idea for a party.” “What is it?” “It’s a social gathering of guests, but that’s not important right now. What if we show the yaks what Equestria means to us? We can teach them a thing or two about Equestria culture.” “That’s a good idea. The yaks might be interested in learn what others find perfect. We should tell Twilight about this.” After getting out of the party cave, Pinkie and I went to Twilight’s castle to tell her our plan. But even though one of the best party planners had a great idea for the yaks’ welcoming party, Twilight’s nervousness did not subside.  “I’m not sure about this idea, you two,” Twilight said. “Why not? It’ll give the yaks a rundown of how things are done in Equestria,” Pinkie replied. “Have you two heard of the term, ‘Culture Shock’?” “Oh, is it when you get struck by lightning and learn about everypony’s holidays? Is it when someone greets you with a joy buzzer as part of their greeting?” “I think it’s when someone gets overwhelmed by how another culture does things differently,” I said. “Exactly,” Twilight replied. “I’ve been doing research on these yaks, the best I could find is that if they don’t find something perfect, they would get angry and smash it. If that’s the case, they might destroy everything that’s not related to yaks!” “I’m pretty sure they only do that when somepony shows them what they assume is Yak culture. They won’t smash anything that would anger Equestrians.” I hope… “Don’t worry your pretty purple head about those Yakety-Yaks, Twilight,” Pinkie said as she noogied Twilight. “Once we show them what Equestria has to offer, they’ll wish they joined us sooner!” “Plus, I believe Applejack has a few old barrels in case the yaks still feel like smashing something,” I added. The day of the yaks’ arrival could not come soon enough. The girls and I were in the main hallway. Twilight paced back and forth, acting so panically that I wondered how she didn’t get hospitalized for heart palpitations. “Twilight, tell those butterflies in your tummy to beat it,” said Pinkie. “Making new friends is always fun, and I told you that we’ve got this under control.” “They're probably just as nervous as you are,” Fluttershy said to Twilight. “You've been plannin' this shindig for weeks,” Applejack said. “It's gonna be dandy.” Twilight took a deep breath, but it was just as useful as the other deep breaths before. While it was true that Yakyakistan and Equestria had not opened their borders in a long time, let alone visited each other, there was no need to be that nervous. Soon, fanfare rang out. The front doors opened as a red carpet rolled down the hall and up to us. A giant brown yak in royal attire appeared followed by two other associate yaks. My and Pinkie’s idea better work. I don’t want the yaks declaring war for a different reason. “Greetings, ponies!” The brown yak bellowed. Twilight teleported to the front of the yaks. “Prince Rutherford, your Majesty,” she greeted. “On behalf of all of us, I welcome you to Equestria.” Despite her calm tone of voice, I could see the sweat subtly run down the back of her neck. “Yaks honored,” Prince Rutherford replied. “Yaks hope for great friendship between ponies and yaks. Friends for a thousand moons!” “You must be hungry after a long journey.” Twilight and I brought out a table of food towards the yaks. There were traditional sweets from Sugarcube Corner, apple products from Sweet Apple Acres, and hayburgers that were quite similar to the ones they had at the local burger joint. “What food is that? It not yak food!” “I-it is Equestrian food,” I said. “We thought that it would be perfect to show you what we eat to smash our hunger.” I hoped that my wordplay helped persuade the yaks not to flip and smash the table like in the show. Prince Rutherford took a bite out of one of the cupcakes. I took a step back in case he wasn’t satisfied, but the sound of him swallowing sounded promising. “Who made this?” Rutherford asked.  “I did! I did!” Pinkie blurted out. “Pink pony make well! If things not perfect, yaks get mad. Yaks always get mad when things not perfect!” I smiled slightly. The first of many first impressions was off to a good start. Later, the girls and I grouped together in the other hall. “Okay, girls, so far we’re on the yak’s good side,” Twilight whispered. “If we can keep this up, we’ll be able to befriend them by the time the party starts today. I hope...” “And you were afraid of electrocuting them,” Pinkie said. “Of doing what?” “You know, the shocking culture thing?” “I don’t mean to butt in,” Applejack said, “but how are we gonna keep ‘em from…smashing stuff?” “Just leave it to me and Spikey!” Pinkie lifted me up. “We’ll make sure that no yak is left unsatisfied.” “...and that no wars are declared,” I added. “I think using the word ‘perfect’ in our sentences could also help.” Pinkie and I escorted the yaks to Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack was already at the barn. “Now, I’ll admit that how we do farming is different from yours,” Applejack said to the yaks. “That does not mean our goals are different, too.” Applejack took out an apple from one of the barrels. “Here at Sweet Apple Acres, we work our flanks off to make sure our apples are right for the pickin’, and nothin’ less!” Rutherford gave a confused yet annoyed look. I repeatedly mouthed the word “perfect” to Applejack. She noticed and raised her eyes in realization. “And I’m being perfectly honest about it. Why don’t you try some of our apple cider?” Big Mac pushed in a cider barrel. Applejack filled up three mugs and gave them to the yaks. Rutherford took a whiff of the drink, and then both he and his associates chugged their mugs down instantaneously. Suddenly, they smashed their mugs against their own forehead. Applejack trotted backwards. “Were they not up to yer standards?! Sorry about that! I was sure as sugar we added the best apples to—” “Drink is best!” Rutherford retorted. “We smash mugs to show we enjoy it!” “The cup shop must be booming in Yakyakistan,” Pinkie whispered to me. That and the neurologist department. Seeing Fluttershy’s animals was next. We went to an open field where Fluttershy was setting up a picnic blanket. “Hey, Fluttershy,” I greeted. Fluttershy gasped. “Oh, Spike. You guys are here early.” “Yellow pony cold? Why yellow pony shivering?” One of Rutherford’s associates asked. “I-it’s nothing.” Fluttershy cleared her throat. “And now, for your entertainment pleasure...presenting Equestrian animals.” Angel Bunny and a few other critters showed up to the blanket. “Now these creatures may not be native to Yakyakistan, but you can’t deny how perfectly adorable they are.” “Animals cute,” Rutherford said. “Oh. Thank goodness.” Fluttershy then whispered to me, “I was afraid they’d be mad at the lack of horns.” “It’s going well so far,” I whispered back. “I bet Twilight would be proud.” “Uhm, where is she exactly?” “She’s probably still at—” “Spike! Spike!” A voice shouted. I turned to see Starlight galloping towards me.  “Thank goodness I found you!” Starlight said. “Oh, good to see you, fellow yaks.” She quickly bowed. “Spike, Twilight needs you!” “What’s wrong?” I asked. “I think the nervousness is getting to Twilight’s head! Hurry!” I turned to the rest of the group. “I need to leave for a second. Pinkie, can you handle things from here?” “Absolutely!” Pinkie saluted. I left with Starlight and headed to the castle. We entered the library where we found Twilight inflating and deflating a paper bag with her breath. “She’s been like this ever since the yaks left the castle,” Starlight said. I sighed. “I got this.” I grabbed a nearby flower vase and— KER-SPLASH!! “Ahh!” Twilight spat out some of the water. “What did you do that for?!” “To calm your nerves,” I replied. “I had the feeling slapping you was going to make it worse.” “Can you blame me, Spike? I’m skeptical that this plan is going to work and that the yaks will—” “Starlight, could you refill this vase, please? Make it icy water this time.” “Wait, I’m not panicking this time, Spike.” Twilight breathed. “I’m just worried something might go wrong. These yaks are sensitive after all.” “Come on, Twilight. The reason why I picked Pinkie to host this party was because I knew she was the perfect pony for the job. She knows how to throw the best party for each pony, even to those new to Ponyville; you and I can vouch for that. Pinkie can surely handle someone as sensitive as the yaks.” Twilight sighed. “You’re right. I was so worried about the outcome of this visit, I took Pinkie’s party skills for granted. I just wanted this visit to go well.” “And it already has. There’s no significant damage so far. Why don’t we join up with Pinkie and the others?” “Yeah, let’s. I’ve been meaning to get a new paper bag while I’m out anyway.” Twilight levitated the one that was now a ball of wet, brown mush. “I think I’ll stay at the castle,” Starlight suggested. “I’ve seen those yaks, and if Twilight’s books on them are true, then it’s best if I avoid saying or doing anything to offend them.” Twilight and I exited the castle and joined up with the yaks again. Everything from that point forward seemed to go well. Rarity talked about how she strived for excellence and perfection for fashion, and RD explained how the pegasi controlled the weather and made sure they were on time to a T. Later that afternoon, Pinkie had already prepared the party. Everypony and non-pony was out having a good time. “Wow, Pinkie,” Twilight said gleefully. “This came together quick, even for you.” “What can I say?” Pinkie asked. “I'm good at what I do.” “Say, wasn’t Princess Celestia supposed to be here by now?” I asked. My question was answered when the princess of the sun herself flew in. “Princess Celestia!” Twilight exclaimed. “Apologies if I was late,” Celestia said. “Apparently, there has been an epidemic of sheep sleeping on the tracks.” “Boy, I hate to be those ponies who have to ride the train,” said Pinkie. She then went up to the yak prince. “Prince Rutherford, when I heard that you would come, I’ll admit that it would be difficult to throw a party fit for you, but after some assistance from someone, we decided to try to make you feel at home in Equestria. And that means showing you why we love it here, so you'll love it too. ” “Pink pony work hard to make yaks feel at home,” Rutherford said. “Now yaks happy.” The yaks declared to be friends with the ponies for over a thousand moons, and everypony cheered. Rutherford and Pinkie Pie shared a bear hug. I’ll admit, I was a bit worried myself, but I was glad this episode turned out okay. Pinkie was able to throw a great party for the yaks. No wars were declared. And best of all, nothing got physically smashed. “So…what should I do with them old barrels we stashed ‘round Ponyville?” Applejack whispered to me.