//------------------------------// // A Princess' Lament // Story: St Trineighans School for Fillies // by SamuelK28 //------------------------------// Incidents involving first-years during their first week Luna, her mouth feeling as dry as the Badlands desert and her head feeling like an Everfree storm was taking place within it, glanced at the title of the report and let out an audible sigh. First week was being generous; it had only been four nights so far. Lifting a mug of extra strong coffee with her hoof - she didn’t dare use her magic with how her head was throbbing right now - she took a long sip and read the first item on the list. 1. Property damage. 46% of the school has suffered some form of fire damage due to one Miss Sweetie Belle. There have also been reports of other isolated incidents of damage to school property including at least one broken window and several broken doors whilst several classrooms/dormitories have been trashed along with a broken oven in the Home Economics classroom. Luna’s eyes turned toward the ceiling. She had known for a while that Rarity’s sister, even for St Trineighans standards, was going to be an extremely difficult case and that was why she’d recruited a peer to watch over Sweetie and report back to her. Even so, neither Sweetie nor Scootaloo could be blamed for Tree Hugger’s incompetence and the latter had suffered significantly because of it. She was just thankful she’d been smart enough to invest in a number of building firms over the years whilst Scootaloo’s injuries actually brought her onto item number two on the list and the stack of paperwork that adorned one corner of her desk 2. Nineteen filed medical reports from Zecora on first-years alone. Luna’s eyes focused their attention to the stack of paperwork for a moment. She would not deny Zecora was excellent at her job but it also meant that the copies of her patients’ medical reports that she sent Luna to examine and file into the students’ personal files were often highly detailed and long winded. She’d probably be spending at least the first half of tomorrow evening going through them all, but that was future Luna’s problem. Right now, she had more pressing matters at hoof. Her eyes flicked back to the list. 3. Two students being evicted from their dorm. 4. Two students covered in glue and feathers. 5. Three attempts on Madam Trixie’s life by irate first-years the first of which resulted in the destruction of her office (See point 1, specifically the part surrounding fire damage). 6. Serious breaches of foal endangerment laws. Luna closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Most of the first-years had settled in well but two, well, the less said about them the better. Even she, the Princess of the Night, had her price and both those fillies’ fathers had met it, five million bits each to be precise. As for Trixie, she did not see the childish spat with her daughter or her daughter’s friends ending anytime soon. She would have to keep an eye on both feuds to ensure they did not get further out of hoof in the near future. Talking about feuds… 7. One dodgeball competition. 8. One baking competition, two exploding cakes and several baked bads, including a living cake? 9. Two counts of indecent exposure. It was at that moment realisation of what she had done dawned on Luna and her head slammed against her desk making her hangover even worse. She let out a massive groan. St Trineighans truly was becoming a boarding kennel for werewolves. Even worse, Rarity was going to kill her. Not only had she made sure to get the unicorn tipsy to let down her guard with Lightning but she had also forgotten what amorous werewolves were notorious for from her own few previous private and personal encounters. In her defence, the last time she had laid with a werewolf had been several centuries ago and there was a good reason for that - biting, lots of biting. Slowly, she lifted her head from the desk, reached for a quill and proceeded to alter the next point. 10.(a) An outbreak of lycanthropy resulting in a 50% 62.5% increase in werewolf ponies at the school, from 8 to 12 13 along with a wereshark. 10. (b) One alicornification and newly entitled Princess of Werewolves along with the formation of the Crazy Mark Crusaders, otherwise known as the Royal Pack. 10. (c) Miss Sweetie Belle is one of the new werewolves and likes to howl, a lot! 10. (d) Seventeen noise complaints in relation to howling at unsociable hours, with most to do with a single event Wingsday morning. Luna looked at the four points that consisted of number ten and decided to break them down one at a time. Firstly, she had several hours to hide before Rarity awoke and found out she was not only sharing her bed with Lightning but was also, almost certainly, now a werewolf as well. Secondly, she was immensely proud but also concerned with her daughter’s ascension. It was going to be a busy couple of years helping Moon adjust to her new form and the increased amount of power and level of responsibility she now wielded. Her daughter might not know it yet but she had already started to form her inner circle, those ponies and werewolves that would be there to assist and guide her when she most needed help over the coming years. Hopefully though this would give her a good excuse to keep watch over the so-dubbed Crazy Mark Crusaders who already seemed to be at the centre of all of the chaos, mayhem and destruction that had occurred during this first week back after summer break. To be fair, she wasn’t to surprised considering that a disciple of chaos was among their ranks alongside a pyromaniac and several other werewolves. Luna let out an umpteenth sigh and stared to the heavens once more. Scrap a busy couple of years; it was going to be a long six years and that was before she considered her daughter’s impending puberty. She shuddered simply from the thought and turned her attention swiftly back to the list as her head started pounding ever more fiercely. 11. Underage use of Narcotics. The less said about that one the better. She just hoped that Rarity had had more success than her at getting Tree Hugger to see sense. In all seriousness she needed to get this lycanthropy outbreak under control before it somehow got even more out of hoof, even if she was unsure how that was even possible, but not having the werewolves tripping on drugs every five minutes was a crucial part of her plan. A grimace once more shot across Luna’s face as another bolt of pain shot through her skull. Damn Starlight. Her grimace slowly turned to a smirk though as she remembered Limestone forcing the unicorn to clean up her vomit by hoof with a mop and then being made to supervise the cleaning of the entire home economics classroom as well. Luna felt that was a punishment well and truly deserved. The cake that had also “accidentally” fallen from the ceiling and into Starlight’s mane had... How would you say it?... been the icing on the cake. 12. One impromptu dance performance. Luna made another mental note that she would be informing her daughter that they would be having a one-to-one tutoring session twice a week from here on out. She once more paused from looking at the list of incidents to turn her attention to another stack of papers that sat next to the medical reports, specifically the one that sat on the top of the pile. Name of Student and Year: Moon Moon, 1st Suggested After Class Activity/Club: Werewolf Wrestling Description of Activity/Club: Are you a werewolf itching to release a bit of pent-up aggression? Come meet and join your newly ascended Princess and take part in no holds barred wrestling against your peers. If that’s not enough, you’ll receive a share of the profits from a paying crowd and all bets placed! What more could you want? Equipment required: Use of the Sports Hall and Vice-Headmare Glimmer to cast a magical dome over the competitors and oversee proceedings. Accepted: Y/N Weekly slot: Signed: It was yet another job she had yet to address. In the first week of each new school year, forms were left in the dining hall along with a box. All students were expected to take on at least one extracurricular activity a year at St Trineighans. Whilst some students offered to help their teachers and one or two even helped in the library, most signed up to one or two run by their peers with each weekday offering one to two clubs that students could choose from if they so wished. Often these were run by older students, taking over the established after school clubs, like music and drama, formerly run by students that had just departed, but she’d get at least one or two peculiar or joke requests each year. Favourites of the students were the BBHC (Boycott and Burn Homework Club) and the St Trineighans Association of Sleeping Enthusiasts (ASE), the latter being used by many students over the years as an excuse for being late to classes. The looks on both those students faces when she’d approved their clubs had been priceless, especially as she’d placed them on the weekday night the students would have otherwise had off. Interestingly, both clubs had now become stalwarts of the two slots for Hornday along with extra rehearsals for certain other clubs that put on a performance at the end of the year and she expected no different this year. Anyway, she was getting off track. It was her job to go through the suggestions and choose the clubs that would take place for the rest of the school year. It wasn’t a particularly difficult job, usually just renewing the same clubs year in, year out and having a laugh at the comedic suggestions one or two bright sparks had come up with in the current year to humour her. Last year it had been the Glue Everything to the Ceiling club and Pirate club, where everypony who joined up would have had to speak and dress like a pirate for the entire year amongst other things. Generally speaking, first-years were usually too busy settling in during their first week to even think about submitting an idea and by their second-year they’d learnt from older years that the whole process was tradition but no more than a formality. The same eight clubs, Drama and Dance, Music, Social Games, Book, Daredevil, The School Newspaper, BBHC and ASE, had been picked every year for over a century now. Of course, it just had to be her daughter who wanted to break tradition. Still, although she had her reservations and didn’t particularly want more infirmary reports from Zecora to read, it would be better to know just what chaos her daughter and her friends were up to than not know. Furthermore, it would be a proper punishment for Starlight after the maid outfit and chili cake incidents. The unicorn would absolute hate having to play nanny and ensure the club didn’t get too out of hoof. A smirk slowly crossed Luna’s muzzle as she took the form, circled Y, filled in Wingsday and then stamped it with her hoof before placing it off to one side and turning her attention back to the remaining three points on the list. 13. Multi-coloured grapes. In the blink of an eye the smile that graced Luna’s muzzle was gone. Screwball and her childish antics might seem innocent enough but Luna was not going to be fooled having faced the filly’s god in the past. If she so wished, she could literally make another pony or creature laugh themselves to death or turn their insides to jelly and custard. Chaos magic was wild, reckless and practically had no limits as long as it was total madness. And the power Discord had gifted her with would only grow as she got older. Not for the first time Luna wondered if she’d done the right thing. She and Celestia knew exactly why Discord had done what he had done and Discord knew they knew. It was all part of his game. He knew neither her or her sister’s consciences would let them kill a foal, even one tainted with his chaos magic. As such, this would allow him the time to get into Screwball’s head as her power grew as she got older, messing with her unstable psyche further in the hope that she would one day free him from his stony prison in the Canterlot Castle gardens. Meanwhile, it was Luna’s job, along with Screwball’s new found friends, to try and teach the filly right from wrong and alter the path Discord had laid out for her. Ultimately, it was like one big game of chess and Luna knew that Discord was a bad loser. If Screwball didn’t do what he wanted in the end and free him… She paused, closed her eyes and reached for the bottom drawer of her desk and pulled it open. Even in spite of her head splitting hangover, she gripped the bottle that resided within with a hoof, popped the cork with her teeth and then proceeded to chug a large mouthful hoping that by doing so she could push the thought to the back of her mind. As she slammed the bottle down on her desk, she attempted to distract herself further by reopening her eyes and looking at the next item on the list. 14. Every last carton of ice cream stolen from the school kitchen’s freezers. On this occasion, she couldn’t fault her daughter. She had just had an almighty shock and two hundred bits worth of ice cream was easily replaceable. Plus, kitchen raids were common practice at St Trineighans and never taken too seriously as long as they didn’t become regular occurrences from the same students. Even so, her daughter was a Princess now and she had to learn that such actions were unbecoming of one of such… Luna paused once more as she remembered the number of times she’d caught Celestia late at night pilfering cake, ice cream and anything else sweet and unhealthy she could get her hooves on that she didn’t want the servants or her dieticians to see her eating. Luna let out yet another deep sigh and looked to the heavens once more. “Faust guide and help me,” she murmured under her breath, wisely choosing to classify the ice cream incident as “foals will be foals” and swiftly moving onto the final item on the list. 15. One suicide. Luna took another swig from the bottle before slamming it down on the desk for a second time. “So, ready to talk yet?” she asked her guest who was sat in the chair on the other side of her desk. Petunia Paleo refused to lift her head from the desk where pitiful sniffles were emanating from. A greyish blue scarf that matched her mane covered her neck and in particular the nasty red raw circle necklace that now adorned it. She had also been provided with a spare black jump suit of Tempest’s to help conceal the deep lacerations that now covered her meagre frame. “Kill me,” a muffled voice eventually replied. “Smash my skull in and finally end my miserable existence.” “Ah, so you do know the first two laws of necromancy. You know, it’s been a while and my memory’s a little hazy so do you think you can remind me exactly what they are?” Luna lied in an attempt to get Petunia to open up. It did the trick. The filly lifted her head up and looked sceptically at Luna for a moment. “Seriously? Even I can tell that’s a lie.” “Well, one way or another, it got the reaction I required,” Luna responded, a smirk returning to her muzzle. “So, are you going to tell me those laws or not?” Petunia glowered at Luna for a moment and then let out a resigned sigh. “First law of necromancy: As long as the brain's intact and you’ve the magic at your hooftips, you can bring anything back to life. Second rule of necromancy: If your creation turns on you, target the brain. Failing that, take out the limbs to stop it moving and then take out the brain.” “If that’s the case and you wanted to successfully end your life, why didn’t you target your brain?” Luna asked casually, attempting to coerce Petunia into revealing more. “I wasn’t thinking clearly for one after what Little Strongheart said to me. As I sat on my bed cutting myself, I felt it was either the hangmare’s noose or jumping out the window. Although the latter might have caused more damage there was also a greater chance of a passing Pegasus or unicorn catching me. As I had no idea my magic would resurrect me at the time I went with the former and then, once I reopened my eyes after choking out, I realised I couldn’t get down so hung around until my dormmates arrived and could help me down,” Petunia said distantly before her eyes snapped back into focus and locked onto Luna’s. “I’m dead though, aren’t I? I can’t feel my heart beating in my chest and despite wanting to, I couldn’t cry a moment ago either.” “Good observations but it’s a little more complicated than that. First up, why don’t you tell me what Little Strongheart told you that made you do what you did? Because, right now I’m a little confused. When I left you in the library the other night, you seemed to have come to terms with your special talent and were settling in wonderfully well with your new dormmates,” Luna explained. “As such, despite being one of our highest risk students of such an event, I was not expecting you to do what you have done tonight.” Petunia’s eyes had gone wide upon realising what she’d let slip. Her head fell back onto the desk. Eventually, a muffled and distorted voice broke the silence that had slowly descended upon the room again. “She told me dark magic and necromancy sends you insane, along with…” Petunia paused unsure how to phrase the next part. “The bad things zebras do because of it?” Petunia lifted her head and nodded, tears beginning to stream down her face. “And I’m guessing you took the news badly and didn’t want to become like her?” Petunia nodded again and then opened her mouth and spoke clearly. “You know what it’s like to have a cutie mark like mine? My first memory was of me receiving my cutie mark when I was four. It’s also the only solid memory I have of my parents. They should have been happy for me. Instead, the only memories I have of them is them looking at me in horror because I’d just resurrected the dead mouse the cat had brought in and then them telling me to wait on a set of steps with said mouse. It was an orphanage. They never returned and have never been found since.” “Yes, I’ve read your file. Although, up until this point, I was unsure of the exact reason why your parents left you at the Trottingham orphanage aside it most probably having something to do with necromancy,” Luna admitted before prompting Petunia to continue. Petunia took a deep breath and did just that. “How is a four-year old who up until that point had the best parents in the world supposed to understand those same parents abandoning them? Mentally I shut down and spent most of the next six years alone with Roger, my pet mouse and only true friend, hiding for the most part just what I was capable of. There was one occasion where one of the older kids picked on me and gave me a black eye. I barely laid a scratch on him but that was all I needed. One single drop of blood. They never did find out just why he broke into the kitchens that night and poured a boiling hot pan of water on himself.” Luna looked at Petunia in surprise for a moment as a sadistic grin crossed the filly’s muzzle. “You have blood magic as well?” That had not been in the filly’s file. “I blamed myself a lot for what happened in the beginning of my time at the orphanage and swiftly realised I could manipulate blood as well. Making it dance and swirl around in front of me helped pass the countless hours I’d spend alone in silence. It wasn’t long until the carers discovered the scars and became extremely careful with what they left near me. The funny thing was they had no idea of the real reason why I was cutting myself. Anyway, the other children knew it was too much of a coincidence for the bully to pick on the filly with the peculiar unknown cutie mark, calling them “ugly” and “a freak”, and then attempt to seriously disfigure themselves that very night, especially as he couldn’t recall anything after lights out. So, they left me in peace from there on out and informed all newcomers to avoid the weird silent filly in the corner with the mouse. Carer after carer tried to get me involved with the other fillies and colts, tried to find me a family that were willing to take me on, tried to simply get me to talk. I wasn’t interested and over time they gave up believing that I’d suffered some previously extremely traumatic event when in truth I was simply afraid, afraid of a similar reaction to the one of my parents if they found out just what I was capable of and that I’d be dumped somewhere else, somewhere worse. So, by the time I was seven a silent agreement had been reached. I did everything they asked of me schoolwork- and chores-wise and they left me in peace the rest of the time. To them I was the model inmate. Never made or got in any trouble after that first time and did all that was asked without any fuss. Then you showed up two months ago, sent my head spiralling out of control and proceeded to drag me to this school after threatening to have me thrown in a dungeon if I didn’t cooperate!” “I apologise but as I said at the time, your profile stuck out like a sore hoof. New born foals get abandoned by single mothers not four-year olds with loving parents. Nearly six-years in Trottingham orphanage with no new attempts to adopt in the past three. Then, as soon as I saw a picture of your cutie mark, I knew exactly why,” Luna explained. “I’m sorry for not giving you a choice in the matter but you’re too much of a security risk, as you are now all too aware of with the zebras. Also, like many of your peers, I also wanted to give you the chance at as much of a normal fillyhood as I could rather than simply putting you in the depths of Canterlot dungeon and throwing away the key.” “And I couldn’t be more grateful for what you’ve done for me. For the first time in my life, I could just be me and not have to worry about how others would react. I was so nervous meeting my dormmates for the first time but you stood by my side. You gave me the confidence to tell them what I am and showed me that I didn’t need to be afraid anymore,” Petunia sniffled wiping the tears from her face with a forehoof. “I-I couldn’t bear it if someday I deliberately hurt them,” she admitted. “You’d never do that!” A voice exclaimed from the doorway all of a sudden. “Miss Hooves, why are you and your dormmates not in bed? And how long have you been standing in the doorway?” Luna sighed. “Long enough and our friend needs us; we weren’t going to let her face this alone,” Dinky said firmly as she, followed by Lily and Princess, entered the room, the door to Luna’s office having yet to be fixed. As Dinky trotted over and threw her hooves around Petunia in a massive hug, Luna felt it best to get this talk over with as quickly as possible. “Fair enough. I won’t punish you on this occasion but Miss Paleo, I must let you know something before I take you and your friends straight back to your dormitory for some much-needed sleep,” Luna stated firmly. Petunia managed to poke her head out from where three pairs of forehooves were now doing their best to squeeze her to death. “You need to know that Little Strongheart was wrong and that you are nothing like Zecora or any of the zebras for that matter.” Luna closed her eyes before continuing. “I wanted to save this conversation for when you were a little older and able to fully understand what I'm about to tell you but after last night’s events I feel I no longer have that option. But what I’m about to tell you and your friends does not leave this room, understood?” Petunia stared at Luna for a moment and then slowly nodded her head. “You have my word and theirs.” “Fine. Dark magic is very much like chaos magic in many ways. Both are like diseases, that can corrupt and make even the strongest willed creatures, such as myself, sick. Now, like all diseases, how sick you become is dependent on many factors; for example, I, as an alicorn, am extremely healthy but because I cast such a powerful dark magic spell, not even I could fight it of completely without long lasting repercussions. The zebras on the other hoof have suffered repeated exposure to a low-level dose of the disease for centuries. Although initially able to shake off the effects, the consistent build-up of dark magic over the years has allowed it to grow stronger and slowly warp their minds. By the time any of them realised what was happening…” “It was too late,” Petunia finished for Luna. “Precisely, every new zebra born now is nothing more than another puppet for dark magic to control and use for despicable and heinous crimes to please goodness knows what. Imagine seeing everything you do but being unable to do anything about it. That’s pretty much the life of every zebra right now but like every disease there are a few that are naturally immune and these zebras could, if they chose to, cure their brethren and cleanse the zebras of dark magic,” Luna went on. “And I’m guessing whatever is controlling the zebras doesn’t want that?” Petunia asked already knowing the answer. “Of course not. They may be extremely rare but any zebras that are discovered to have immunity and free will are immediately sacrificed before they can become a threat to their way of life. Trust me when I tell you that you don’t want to know what they do to them in any detail. All I’ll say is it’s not a pretty sight,” Luna stated before a shiver ran down her spine and she had to momentarily pause. “We’ve tried to save one or two over the years but unsuccessfully, our best bet being to look closer to home for an answer to the zebra problem.” “Closer to home? Wait, are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Petunia interrupted. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Immunity to such magic is not just exclusive to zebras but ponies are the only known other species who would become aware that they are immune to such effects,” Luna clarified. “Because of our cutie marks,” Petunia finished. “Right again. You are one of only seven known ponies over the past thousand years to have a dark mark and the first for necromancy. What it means is that you can choose how you use such magic. For example, you might have noticed that you’ve actually managed to produce tears in the last few minutes and if you tried hard enough you could probably get your magic to restart your heart and your entire body for that matter rather than just your brain. You could pretty much bring yourself back to life piece by piece.” Petunia stared at Luna in stunned silence. “Now, I won’t deny that your magic will always try to steer you down the path of madness but unlike the zebras you have the choice to refuse such a path and take another,” Luna explained. “It will be difficult though. Only two of the six before you have succeeded in doing so and both of those ended up being murdered by the zebras.” Petunia’s eyes somehow managed to go even wider. “Wait, what? Oh,” she murmured as everything started to click in her head. “Yes, as I take it you just realised. It is one of the main reasons the zebras send spies to Equestria as they know we are the biggest threat to their current way of life. Obviously, it is extremely difficult for them to blend in and almost all are captured and executed at some point. The zebras don’t take prisoners so neither do we but at least we terminate ours quickly and painlessly. Again, you don’t want to know what they do to any of our spies they capture,” Luna responded as another shiver ran down her spine. “Wait, if you terminate any zebras that are discovered in Equestria, why is Zecora still alive and working in the school?” Petunia questioned. Luna inhaled deeply and then released before continuing, “We caught her hiding out in the Everfree forest a few years back. She’d been sent here to scope out the school knowing that would be the most likely place for any pony with such a cutie mark. Of course, execution was the initial plan but…” Luna paused and closed her eyes. “But what?” Petunia pressed still encased in limbs, her friends still refusing to let her go. “She told us she’s the chieftain’s only daughter, a fact that has since been verified. Executing her would be an all-out declaration of war between Equestria and Zebrica, something neither country wants. We outnumber the zebras nearly twenty to one and even if we don’t know exactly what ancient horrors are controlling them, they are well aware that a full out war could very well lead to the extinction of their entire species. For Equestria, it would shatter our core belief to negotiate peace by any means and although victory is almost a guaranteed certainty it would come at a huge cost of life on our side and leave us vulnerable to attack from some of our less than friendly neighbours, likely leading to a full-on world war and the inevitable return of the windigos.” Petunia had finally been released by her friends. She, Lily and Princess were now staring at Luna with open mouths in total shock. Dinky on the other hoof looked completely unfazed by the proclamation and it was she who replied to Luna. “Let me guess. Because they kill all their prisoners the zebras didn’t have anything of value to trade for Zecora. As she is royalty, even if it is from a hostile country not on friendly terms with Equestria, you couldn’t just throw her into the deepest darkest dungeon for fear of some form of retaliation and rescue attempt from the zebras. As such you had two choices, a luxury suite in Canterlot castle or a position here at the school. You chose here because you felt you might as well put her talents to use whilst implementing some security features to ensure she remains cooperative and doesn’t try anything foolish. Meanwhile, Zecora secretly continues her mission and when she sees Petunia, her eyes light up. The problem she now has is that if she tries anything not only is she dead but her entire species and their way of life along with it, so she goes along with what you want her to do with the intention of slowly corrupting my friend. You though, know you’ve got no choice, it’s not like there are any other necromancers just walking on a street nearby to teach Petunia and as such you pray that Petunia is smart enough to avoid the carrot that Zecora dangles in front of her so that in the future you can use her for your own selfish needs. Or are you going to deny that you hope that one day Petunia here might be able to finally rid the darkness that clouds the zebra lands?” Luna, along with Petunia, Lily and Princess, stared at Dinky in astonishment. Luna knew the filly was incredibly smart for her age, that was the prime reason she had gambled and given her a chance after she’d failed the entrance test to Celestia’s school, but that bit of deduction, especially for a ten-year-old, had been something else. She made a mental note to be careful what she said around Dinky in future as the unicorn continued where she had left off. “Just be careful because if any harm comes to my friend again, I’ve the brains, brawn,” she jabbed a hoof in Lily’s direction, “And stealth,” the hoofed moved over to Princess, “At my disposal to ensure whoever caused such pain, regrets it, a lot. Understood?” Luna smiled getting over her initial shock. “Understood. You need not worry though. As long as Petunia is on school grounds and does not try to cause herself any more harm in future, she shall be fine but it would help put me at ease if at least one of you could be with her outside of classes and her extracurricular studies with Zecora.” “Of course, no problem,” Dinky replied followed by a large yawn. “Now, I do think it’s time we all went to bed. Petunia, if you have any further questions once you’ve had a bit of time to think things over, you know you can always come and find me, okay?” Luna said politely. “Yes headmistress. And thank you, for everything.” “My pleasure Petunia and please, call me Luna; we’re friends after all.” * Rarity awoke feeling sore all over and somewhat disorientated. To her surprise though, her head wasn’t pounding like it usually did when she had had one too many drinks the night before because considering how dry her mouth was, that could be the only answer to her current state. There was also the fact that her memory of the bake off was hazy at best. The strangest thing was that in spite of her not having that much of a hangover, certain other parts of her body ached, a lot. As her eyes slowly adjusted to the gloom, she realised that she was at least in her own bedroom. “Well, that’s at least something,” she muttered to herself igniting her horn to turn on the two magical lamps that were on the two dressers that lined either side of her luxurious four poster bed. “Eugh, turn of the light,” a voice groaned next to Rarity startling her. As she fell out of bed in a heap taking the duvet with her, the voice spoke once more. “Not cool marshmallow, not cool. Hang on, what’s the time?” “Five o’clock,” a sweet, innocent voice said from the doorway too the room as some rather indecent and vulgar memories started to flood Rarity’s mind and fill in the blanks. She really wished her mind hadn’t. “Oh, thanks Sweetie Be… Uh oh,” Lightning gulped as a camera flashed. “Ooh, this’ll get me on the front page of the school newspaper for sure,” Sweetie giggled. “Sweetie Belle, you give me that photo this instant,” Rarity demanded throwing the duvet cover of her and leaping to her hooves. “Hey,” Lightning cried as the duvet fell on top of her. “Shut it you. No doubt this was some devilish, perverted trick of yours to…” Rarity began only to find herself interrupted by Apple Bloom. “Oh no, Luna spiked both your drinks to teach you both a lesson. Limestone might have also pushed you along after you started to get frisky and ruin her classroom. This is all on both of you.” Rarity slumped back onto her rump, right eye twitching. “I’m going to kill her!” she growled. “I highly doubt that,” a third voice said calmly stepping out of the shadows. “Oh, and welcome to the smelly, obnoxious, brain-dead canine club; we hope you enjoy your stay. The bill for your lifetime membership will be invoiced to you in two to three working days,” Moon added sarcastically. Rarity turned her hatred to Lightning who was still fighting her way out of the duvet on the bed, the alabaster mare’s eyes turning red and her canines extending. “You didn’t,” she growled running her tongue over her extended canines. “Hey, don’t look at me like that, I was drunk and it’s a well-documented fact werewolves bite when…” Lightning never finished as Rarity threw herself at the Pegasus. “Moon, aren’t you going to stop them?” Bloom queried turning to her friend as Rarity went rolling with Lightning of the bed before the unicorn slammed the Pegasus’ head into the stone floor. “Ooo, that looked nasty,” Scootaloo commented, whilst munching on a jelly baby she had pilfered from a bag Ruby was holding. “Maybe if it gets to out of hoof, right now though I’m enjoying the show, sweet?” Moon asked, thrusting another bag of Jelly Babies towards Bloom as Lightning went from the stone floor to the stone wall. “What the hay?” Bloom replied with a shrug of her shoulders taking a hoofful and throwing them in her muzzle as Sweetie’s camera clicked once more. “There’s never a dull moment at St Trineighans is there,” she asked Moon once she’d finished devouring the candy. “Nope,” Moon replied as Lightning took a chair to the muzzle. END OF ACT 1