The Jeep ground to a halt, and the doors were yanked open from the outside. The soldier to my left got out, then helped me. The sweat was pouring from my brow, and I was on the verge of panicking. I had so many questions running through my mind.
Why are they here? Did they find the portal? Why do they care about me being friends with Ace? What do they plan on doing in Equestria? What will happen to my friends?
As I pondered the situation, a faint humming noise soon reached my ears. I listened to it for a moment, then smiled.
"Hey, Captain Jones?" I said. "You can take the bag off my head now; I know exactly where we are, so it isn't needed."
"Oh really?" Jones replied. "And where would that be?"
"We're in a forest clearing," I said smugly. "There is a portal here, and it happens to be the very one I used to get to this world."
There was a pause before he sighed and snapped his fingers. The bag was lifted off my head, exposing my eyes to the bright sunlight. I closed them to shield my vision and followed the Captain, opening them slowly so I could get used to the brightness.
We entered a small office, where a man wearing a typical officer's uniform sat behind a desk. A number of medals and ribbons were pinned across his chest. Another man, who was wearing a smart navy suit and flanked by a couple of guards, sat nearby.
As I was ushered into the room, the officer stood up. "Is this him?"
"Yes, General." Andrew saluted. "He did have a bag on his head, but he worked where we were shortly after we got here."
The general looked at me. "And how did you figure it out?" he said.
"As I said to the Captain, I've been here before," I replied. "That portal you're guarding is the same one I used to get here."
The general sat down. "Ah, right," he said, coughing slightly. "Okay, Captain, remove the cuffs and let our guest take a seat."
Jones did as he was asked, and the handcuffs were removed. I rubbed my wrists tenderly and sat in the only vacant seat. The office was modestly sized; as well as the desk, there was a large window on one wall, a potted plant in the corner, and a bookcase brimming with books about military history near the door.
"Captain Jones said you had questions for me," I said, as I put one leg over the other. "So, by all means, ask away."
"Very well," replied the General. "But first of all, some introductions are in order. I am General Graham Smith." He indicated the man in the suit. "And I assume you know who this gentleman is?"
I nodded. "How could I not recognise our esteemed Prime Minister, Peter Fielding?" I said sarcastically. "Am I right to assume that you royally fucked up the UK, so you're here to fuck up Equestria?"
"Far from it," Fielding replied. "I'm actually here, at General Smith's request, to see what's so special about this place."
"A lot is special about this place," I said matter-of-factly. "But enough about that; why is my being friends with Ace a problem?"
"We've been following the activities of Doctor Sorou for a while now," Fielding said, as he opened his suitcase. "The UK is very proud of its scientists, and the advancements they've made, but every now and again one of them does something suspicious."
He took a file from the suitcase and passed it to me. Flicking through it, I could see several surveillance reports, as well as photos of the laboratory. In one photo, John and I could be seen talking to each other, oblivious to the fact we were being watched.
"Suspicious things such as... what, exactly?" I checked.
"Applying for planning permission to build their very own nuclear reactor, for starters." Fielding smiled. I wanted to punch him.
"So you've been following him for how long, exactly?" I asked.
"We're asking the questions here, 'Geo.'" Smith said. "First of all, why did you go to Doctor Sorou in the first place?"
I fidgeted in the seat. "It's complicated," I said after a long pause. "You'd probably think I was crazy if I told you."
"You knew that Sorou was performing these kinds of experiments involving portals," Smith continued, glancing at another file on his desk. "Why did you want to come to 'Equestria?'"
"I said it's complicated." I looked down at the floor.
"Would it have anything to do with one... Twilight Sparkle?" Fielding asked, his smile turning into an uncharacteristic grin.
"Wait, what?!" I spluttered. "How much do you know about that?"
"We know all about the inhabitants of this world, Geo," Graham said. "We know that there are 'Earth' ponies, unicorns and pegasi on this world. We know that you've been here before, and we also know that you're actually married to this 'Twilight Sparkle!"
The soldiers flanking me each suppressed a laugh.
"If you know all of this, then why the fuck do you need me?" I demanded, my eyes narrowing. "Sounds like a waste of time."
"I just wanted to see for myself if what our operative told us was true." Fielding replied. "And, judging by your reaction, it is."
"Operative?" I asked. "Wait, you've been spying on me?!"
"Oh yes," Smith said. "We've been watching you for a long time."
To say I was shocked would have been the understatement of the millennium. I sat in dumbfounded silence for a moment before finally managing to speak. "But why?" I asked. "What did I do that attracted the attention of the fucking government?"
"You got shot," Fielding replied. "Remember?"
I thought back to the night Derek shot me, and remembered Ace telling me that he had opened a portal on the street I was on.
"Bring in our operative, General," Fielding said. "I think it's high time for Geo here to learn the truth."
Smith stood up, went to the door, beckoned to someone who was waiting outside and returned to his desk.
"This 'operative' of yours had better be ready to explain themselves," I snarled. "I seriously can't believe this shit."
"You'd better believe it," a familiar voice said. "'Mate.'"
I turned around in the seat and froze. "John?!" I yelled. I turned around again. "What in the actual fuck is going on here?!"
"Calm down and I'll explain everything," John said.
I exhaled sharply and folded my arms as he began his story.
***
I was just a rookie agent when I was assigned to the Ace Sorou case. We knew he was up to something, and my unit was hell-bent on finding out what. For weeks, we had picked up strange energy readings. We followed them, but found nothing. We were at our wit's end. Every lead we got turned out to be a waste of time.
Until that night on James Street, that is.
We had followed another energy reading to that street and took up position in one of the buildings nearby. After several hours, nothing happened; we assumed that the energy reading we'd received had been a load of crap, and prepared to leave.
But then, all of a sudden, you turned up. We thought that maybe you were an assistant of Ace's, who had been sent to check the results of the experiment, so we decided to watch you for a while.
Next thing we know, you're getting your ass kicked. Nice trick, by the way, playing dead; pity it didn't work, and you got shot.
"Shit," I said to my partner, Mick. "Should we do something?"
Mick shook his head. "We're undercover, John," he said quietly. "We can't afford to be seen, and besides... we're not armed."
We saw you fall to the ground as the car sped off. Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light underneath your body, and you vanished.
The portal had materialised before our very eyes and you were unfortunate enough to be underneath it.
A few minutes later, however, you reappeared. Mick and I called an ambulance and left to deliver our report. We quickly realised that you would have information for us, so I was assigned to gain your trust and find out what you had learned.
***
"And I think you know the rest."
I glared at him for a moment. "So our whole friendship was a lie?" I spat. "It meant nothing to you, and was just 'work?'"
John shrugged — and I screamed as I leapt off the seat and tackled him to the ground. Unfortunately, the two soldiers guarding me pulled me off before I could punch him.
John stood up laughing as he dusted himself off. "I'm sorry I had to deceive you, Geo," he said. "But I had a job to do, and I was prepared to do whatever it took to get it done."
I fought back tears as I raised my voice to him. "You son of a bitch!" I shouted. "All my life, people have been taking me for granted. You came across as someone who genuinely wanted to be my friend, but instead you were just using me!"
John grinned. "Sounds about right."
"You bastard." I spat at his feet. "You twisted, conniving, lying bastard. And what about all that crap you spat on the way into town, about not having any friends, was that a lie as well?" John's face fell at these words, and I chuckled weakly. "That's what I thought. To me, our friendship was the best thing that had ever happened to me. But to you, it was merely a means to an end."
John held his arms out. "I-I... I never thought of it like that," he said. "I did consider you as a friend; you and I, we get on so well."
"You could have told me the truth, you know," I said quietly. "It's the fact I have to find out like this that annoys me."
John hung his head. "This was going to be my last mission as well," he said. "Once this was done, I was planning on retiring to Haiti and spending the rest of my life on the beach."
"And it didn't matter how many people you had to screw over first," I hissed. "Wait, people AND ponies."
John raised his head and looked at me. "Ponies?" he asked.
"Don't you see?" I sighed. "They think of you as a friend as well; Applejack has been singing your praises about all the work you're doing on the farm, Rainbow Dash has been going on and on about how you're a good running buddy, Rarity has been raving about your 'exquisite choice in fashion,' Fluttershy admires your love of animals, and Pinkie loves the fact you're as immature as she is."
John opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.
"So not only have you lied to me, you've lied to the whole of Ponyville as well." I laughed bitterly. "How do you think they are going to react when they find out that their new 'friend' was just a government agent sent to spy on them?"
John thought for a moment. "Betrayed?" he said hesitantly.
I nodded. "You make me sick, and you make me ashamed to call myself a human," I said. "You're just as bad as Derek."
John's eyes narrowed. "NO!" he shouted. "I am NOTHING like him!"
I raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?" I replied. "When he ended up here in Equestria, he took what he wanted from the locals by force. You got what you wanted from me by being a deceitful bastard; when you think about it, you're not all that different." John slumped his shoulders and began to walk out the room, but I grabbed his arm and looked into his eyes. "I highly suggest that you don't go back to Ponyville, 'mate.'" I said, the venom in my voice causing him to flinch slightly. "Once everypony finds out what you've done, they won't be so pleased to see you around." I released his arm and he left the room dejectedly, after which I turned to the General and the Prime Minister. "You got what you wanted. Can I go now?"
Fielding and Smith looked at each other for a moment; Fielding nodded, and Smith turned to face me.
"Yes, you can go," he said. "Since Equestria clearly doesn't pose a threat to the security and well-being of the United Kingdom, we'll leave as soon as possible. We will remove every trace of our presence, and the Equestrians need never know we were here."
"It's a bit late for that."