"Ah crap, how did I manage to mess that up?!"
Recently acquired pizza boxes and soda cans lay around the now dimly lit room, the glare of the sun trying to pierce its way through the closed curtains. Alas, it could not get past the soft barriers. The only pure light source in the room was a very wide and bright television.
"Oh come on!"
I stared at the screen with a glare. How dare it rob me of my highscore! The nerve. The very nerve of it.
"Died again on the same part. Goddamn it."
I sighed in frustration, shaking my controller for a moment and slamming the weighty piece of plastic down onto the floor, the only thing saving the accursed technology being the bright blue carpet that enveloped the wood beneath it. 10 hours. 10 freaking hours I'd been trying to beat my highscore on this thing. It was all for naught, it seemed.
"Stupid...hang on..." I noticed something on the floor. Was that a fortune cookie? Huh, must have been left over from the Chinese takeout that I'd had last night after a few drinks. It was still neatly wrapped in its red packaging. I picked it up and glanced at it for a moment, suppresing a slight chuckle. "It'd be funny if these things actually worked. Even then, let's see what nonsense it tries to tell me this time."
Fortune cookies were a hit and a miss for me. On the rare occasion, you'd actually hear something relatively likely and understandable. Then other times you'd hear outlandish things akin to the likes of "you'll fly to the moon one day". Obviously they didn't directly say that but the things that they did say basically mimicked the stupidity of it. I shook my head as I slowly tore the soft and clean packaging, the fortune cookie falling out. I picked it up and cracked the little sucker open, pulling out the little piece of paper taking refuge inside. I looked for a moment before raising an eyebrow at what I was reading.
"Your luck will completely change today." The lucky numbers were 21, 25, 28, 30 and 31. I rolled my eyes and stashed the piece of paper in my pocket. I'd throw it away later.
"Pfft, alright. I have a feeling I'll still be eating pizza and questioning my life choices tomorrow, thank you, you crumbly villian." I took a glance at the time and had an "oh shit" moment. It was 2AM. Had coursework that needed finishing by tomorrow. I was almost done anyway, needed to finish it off and it would be hunky dory.
"Best try and get some sleep I guess." If I didn't, I'd be taking 6 energy drinks to college again.
Yes, I said again. Don't ask. Seriously.
As I fumbled into bed, I had a lingering thought. One that had been there for most of the day. A very important thought.
"I wonder if I can make it to college on time for once. Probably not."
I shrugged, closing my eyes. Here I come, sleep. Be prepared. Wait...why did it feel like I was floating?
"Huh...WHAT THE FUCK?!"
I opened my eyes to see nothing, just an empty void. Was I already asleep? If so, record time. If that's the case, why did I feel so....aware? "This....is this a lucid dream or did I finally die? If it's the latter welp, that sucks." I could still see my bed, strangely enough. I wasn't in it anymore though, I was floating above it.
"Alright, this is getting weird." I heard something, if only for a second. It sounded like...rustling leaves? I could walk now in this darkness. I walked forward, somewhat curious to see where this "dream" would lead me to. Or the afterlife, both worked.
I eventually made it to the point where the sounds were right next to me. "This is beyond trippy...wait, why do I feel...OH SHIT" I fell. And kept falling.
"SHIT SHIT SHIT I DESPISE HEIGHTS! IF THIS IS YOU GOD, I'M GOING TO THROW YOU IN A TUB OF MUSTARD!"
I hated mustard and I'm sure I read somewhere that god does to. What? I read a lot of interesting stuff, don't question me.
My fall eventually came to a stop. I blacked out for a moment before my eyes opened and I could see....a forest? "What the...how did I end up outside? Where even am I? We don't have a forest in our backgarden!"
I stood up, not feeling all that lightheaded despite falling for what felt like 100ft down a narrow tunnel made of darkness, brushing myself off and coughing slightly. "Okay...now I'm feeling the effects." I took a moment to compose myself before I looked around my surroundings. Where in sweet pizza's name was I?
"If this is the afterlife, this is pretty boring so far." I wasn't an outdoor person so seeing a bunch of forestry didn't really mean anything to me. Some people wanted to rub their entire bodies on trees (yeah, I've seen a lot of weird things) but me? No. I wanted to just do my own thing, which usually involved questioning why I bother playing games anymore or why I just lost 10 pounds on a fruit machine despite the guy behind me winning 50.
"Right, better see where I am. Hang on, oh shit..." I usually wasn't a person to have deep thoughts, it wasn't for me. But one did actually come into my head. "If this is the afterlife...mom, dad, everyone else....shit. Shit, shit, shit."
As you can see, I have a very broad vocabulary. I know, it's quite astounding.
Silliness aside, I needed to get out of here. This forest felt...odd. Like it was alive? That sounded crazy but with what just happened, it wouldn't be too far fetched. And if it's a dream, that makes even more sense.
Hang on...the rustling of the leaves. It started again. The fuck was that? Sounded like something moving. Something moving fast. Moving towards me.
"Crap crap, alright, I gotta mo..."
"Ahem."
I gulped. "Welp...shit." Whatever it was had already caught up to me, somehow and was currently stood behind me. I didn't turn around, I just looked forward until it spoke again.
"What are you?"
I raised an eyebrow. Not only at the question but the voice. It sounded like it had some weird, but really cool, echo like effect to it. Reminded me of a game. Funny that.
I turned around and spotted a...bug? No wait, it was more like a horse. A bug horse. Either that or a mutated experiment gone wrong. It looked at me with its creepy but alluring slit, green eyes and scanned me up and down. It raised its eye despite having no visible eyebrow. "I'll repeat again, what are you?"
I steeled myself and stared at it while I spoke. "Well, I'm a human. I can see that you're not, clearly. Name's Sam. And you are?"
It scoffed, rolling its eyes in a very snarky fashion. Already didn't like this thing. "A human? Never heard of such a creature. You look like a bald and sick ape." Alright, now I really didn't like this thing. This can't be the afterlife. Surely god wouldn't let such a weird ass thing get up into his place. I figured that this was some really random and crappy dream and with that knowledge, I turned around and walked in the opposite direction, audibly mouthing out "And you look like a random freaky monster from Harry Potter". I didn't get far though before I heard the thing chime up again.
"Hey you ape, I won't stand for that!"
I rolled my eyes and kept walking, this thing was getting beyond annoying. "Jesus Christ, I've seen some weird things in my life but this takes the caAAKKEE!"
I fell to the ground face first, making my mouth meet the grass. I coughed slightly, turning my head. I'd just gotten lunged at by this thing. It flipped me around and stared at me, its mouth slightly open, showing it had many sharp teeth. Fangs. I gulped slightly. Its eyes showed an intense surge of rage.
"Listen to me you foul creature, I will notbe talked like that to by the likes of you! I am lost in this stinking forest and I do not need a random freak insulting me!"
Alright, now this had gotten past weird and just gotten to the point of plain fucking whacky. I struggled but I couldn't break free of the bug horse's grip. "Let me go! You started it!" I saw it open its mouth and bare its fangs at me. Ah crap, was I going to actually die here? Fuck, I wanted a pizza before I clogged it. Just one last one. I closed my eyes and waited for the pain but it never came. Nothing happened. I opened my eyes, confused as to what the bug horse was doing. I heard it, then. A growl. And it wasn't from this thing. It was from something way bigger. Something that was behind us. The bug horse let me go and got into a defensive stance, pointing its crooked horn in the direction of the growl. Wait, horn? How in the hell did I not see that before? And the insect wings.
Man, I needed to start paying more attention. Then again, I was sorta zoning out when it started speaking. Pizza was more important.
"GRRAWRRR!" I got up quick, standing far away from the bug horse. A giant lumbering creature came out of the woods near us. It looked like a creation from Tim Burton. It had a Lion's head, a Scorpion's stinger, bat wings and claws? What in the...
"Where in the actual fuck am I?" The bug horse ignored the comment, even if it wasn't directed at it, and fired a green blast of something from its black and disfigured horn. The blast seemed to scare off whatever the hell that thing was because it immediately yelped and ran back into the forest. Seems the bug horse had some pretty nifty tools at its disposal. It was sweating somewhat and it turned to me, looking way past worn out.
"And you....I...I..." Before it could finish whatever it was going to say, it fell to the ground. I rushed over and caught it before it hit the floor. It looked pretty badly beaten up now that I got a closer look. Scratches were all over its black like skin. Actually, the skin was more like carapace than actual skin. Makes sense, it did have bug like features after all.
"Ugh, what am I doing? I should just leave this thing here. It did try to kill me." And I was indeed going to do that before a thought came to my head.
"How in the fuck am I going to get out of here?"
And it was a very good question. I had no idea where I was, no food, no clothes except the ones on my back, I didn't even have my phone. I had literally NOTHING. I took one last look at the bug horse before sighing and picking it up, carrying it on my shoulder. I wasn't the strongest lad but I certainly wasn't weak and this thing was surprisingly light for its appearance. I grunted, looked behind me. "This thing said it was lost in here, same as me. Still, I don't really have a choice right now. Alright, let's go that way." I walked....and walked....and walked, for what felt like hours. Actually, it probably was. I had no idea, I was too busy thinking about getting back. And pizza.
I know I've mentioned pizza a lot already, sue me.
I kept walking until I finally saw an opening to this everlasting fucked up forest. It looked like a....castle? Was that castle on the edge of a mountain?
"What in the shit..." I took a glance at the still unconcious bug horse on my shoulder. "You've got some fucking explaining to do when you wake up." I noticed an opening where I could get to the mountain. There looked to be something that resembled a city of sorts. It had...wait, colorful horses moving around? Some had wings and some had horns by the looks of it. "Alright, I give up. After everything so far, I'm not even going to question it for now. Let's get you up there, buggy." And with that declaration, I wiped the sweat off of my forehead and made my way up to the castle city thing.
"HALT!" I grunted and sighed in annoyance.
"Oh for fuck's sake, what now?!" I looked up and saw two of those flying horses. One was white and one was orange. Both of them had what appeared to be Roman like armor on. The white one even had a Centurion fan headress on its helmet. I chuckled. "Oh what, now I've got Roman ponies?" They both had spears. Said weapons were currently being pointed at my face. The white one spoke up.
"What exactly are you and why are you carrying the queen of the changelings? Did you slay her?"
I looked in confusion, not knowing what the hell this weird pony was talking about. "For one, I'm called Sam. And for two, queen of the what now? All I know is that I was in my room, I somehow ended up in that forest behind me and then this bug horse tried to attack me after insulting me. And no, I haven't harmed the bug horse at all. It fainted after pushing away some other creature that wanted to eat us both." The two ponies looked at each other. Seems they were just as confused.
"You must come with us, immediately. And quickly." I would have honestly made a sarcastic retort but I had zero energy after carrying this thing for so long and I just wanted to find out where I was so I could get back to my bed. With that in mind, I didn't say a word and just kept walking. They raised their spears again. "Creature, did you not hear us? You will come with us, now."
I chuckled. "That's exactly what I'm doing, idiot." Seems that wasn't the brightest idea because I suddenly had a spear raised directly in my face.
"Hold your tongue or lose it, ape. Now follow us." I didn't particularly feel like dying just yet so I shut up and walked with them, still carrying the bug horse. Following the events since I got here, I had one thought that I didn't think I'd ever have.
"I want to go to college."