“Okay, so we’re agreed on rhyming ‘greed’ with ‘steed?’” Sunny asked the rest of the group.
“Unless we can come up with something better, I say it stays, shug,” Summers answered. “Let’s get something down on paper first. We can fix it later if we need to.”
A stallion buzzed in over an intercom. “Miss Sauna Summers? You’ve got a visitor out front.”
“Tell ‘em we’re busy!” Summers barked back. There was a pause on the other side as a few murmurs filtered through from the studio, but Vinyl couldn’t make them out on the recording. “Look, fellas. Unless it’s Princess Celestia herself, I’m not interested. We’re in the middle—”
“It’s Mister Suede Shoes.”
“Suede? What the hay is that—” the record cut off Summers abruptly. Vinyl groaned knowing she was missing vital history, but Sunny was always quick to not waste record space. At least, she assumed it was her. Sunny always seemed to be the one to stop the recordings.
A few pops later and the record roared back to life amid yelling. “—you can’t be serious! He’s the enemy, Summers!” Springstep fumed, causing Vinyl to flinch from the sudden ear-splitting arguing in her ears.
“Take a chill pill, Spring. It’s just a few flowers. Now, where did we leave—”
“No, Summers! You get real! We’re supposed to be showing those chumps on the Drive how it’s done, not making nice with them!”
“He said he was sorry for being such a turkey. We’re all musicians trying to make it in Canterlot, right? Might as well take him at his word.”
“I can’t believe you,” Spring muttered, her words dripping with hurt contempt. “He hates you! He hates us! All those high-class fat cats hate us!”
“I mean, she’s right, you know,” Autumn Aria agreed with an airy whisper. “We haven’t been able to join you on stage for months because of them.”
“I know, Autumn, I know. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t just leave him hanging when his partner flaked. I used to sing the duet all the time, so I just filled in, you feel me?”
“Groovy,” Spring seethed in disgust. “If you’re down with saving that bogart’s skin, then I’m out of here!”
“C’mon Spring, it ain’t like that at all. Why not shove a little kindness in their face to make ‘em think for a sec? If he’s lying, then we’ll really let him have it next time,” Summers joked.
“He’s playing you, Summers, and if you’re gonna be that out to lunch…” Spring scoffed at the unspoken implication. A door creaked open before she continued. “I’ve had it. I know a phony when I see one, and that’s you!”
The door slammed, leaving the other three performers in the room. A deafening silence hung over the empty space in the recording with only the soft sniffles of Autumn’s crying seeping into the soundscape.
“Let her cool off, Summers,” Sunny finally said. “She doesn’t—” There was a desperate scrambling of hooves as somepony ran out the door. “Wait, Summers! Don’t—”
“Duty calls!” Fleur shouted as she lifted Vinyl’s headphones, cutting Sunny off. Vinyl’s vision was filled with purple and pink as Fleur popped in front of her. Thankfully, the DJ had been getting used to it and caught herself before tilting back too far in her chair. “Ready to go, Vy?”
“Y-yeah,” Vinyl assured herself.
Fleur frowned as she backed up to give her sister some space. “Wanna talk about it?” she asked, not bothering to entertain the blatant lie.
“No. I was hoping to calm down with a little archiving, but…”
“It’ll be fine. I’ll be right there with you the entire time.” Fleur squeezed a quick hug, trying to wring every ounce of worry out of her best sister. “Besides, it’s only one song. It’ll be over before you know it. You’re gonna be amazing tonight, sis.” Seeing Vinyl still struggling with it, Fleur turned Vinyl’s seat towards her and put her forehooves on her dear friend’s shoulders. “Look at me. You’ve got this.”
Vinyl averted her eyes. “But I’m still messing up the coda.”
“Coda, Schmoda, à la mode-a,” Fleur dismissed with a razzberry. “Just repeat after me: ‘I’ve got this, sister.’”
“I’ve got this, sister…” Vinyl sighed.
“Once more, with feeling!” Fleur commanded as Lady Faire, holding her hoof aloft with a trembling, dramatic power.
“I got this, sister.”
“Better,” Fleur complimented as she dropped the act. “Now, ‘I got this on lock.’”
“I got this on lock.”
“Louder!"
“I got this on lock!”
“With conviction!” she urged, throwing on her Luna voice.
“I said, I got this on lock!”
“Now, speak! ‘Rule two is not necessary!’”
“Rule two is absolutely necessary!” Vinyl flared back, denying the faux-princess her decree.
“Nuts. Thought I could sneak that one in,” Fleur giggled cheekily with a saccharine smile. “Fine. Let’s get going, Vy. We’ve gotta help everypony else set up.”
Vinyl suppressed a sigh as she lowered her shades over her eyes. She was hoping for some good old wisdom from the disco queen’s recordings, but Summers was having just as difficult a time as she was right now. DJ Pon-3 wasn’t supposed to be nervous in front of ponies anymore. Between Cantrips, the ESPA, and her solo gigs, she'd performed hundreds, maybe even thousands of times, but those were before the Vinyl Screech.
She didn’t want to care. Before, Vinyl could take comfort in knowing there was nopony but herself to disappoint. It was more than just making ponies dance now, though. There were friends she cared about; real friends. She wanted them to be happy, to be proud of her.
Mommy’s so proud—
Vinyl flooded her mind with music to drown out the intrusive voice. She was finally opening up. That was a good thing. Everypony else was telling her that was a good thing. She just had to focus on them; just had to remember them and only them. With Fleur at her side, Vinyl had this. She had it on lock. And even if she was DJ Pon-3 tonight, rule one was absolutely necessary.
The streets bustled with activity outside the Society’s Rosen Aria Concert Hall. While not the premier venue of the Theatre District, the reported attendance of both princesses was enough to make it the number one destination in Canterlot. Thankfully, the castle had kept their presence a secret until the last minute, so there were plenty of ponies from all trots of life waiting to enter. There’d be plenty there wanting to watch the show rather than simply be seen at the same place as a princess.
However, the current center of attention was drawn to a towering midnight blue dress. The evening gown streaked with soft, silver stars flowing down from the shoulder, broadening towards the base in a glistening band of starlight. Its bold beauty was undermined by the nerve-wracked minotaur accompanying the Kingmaker of Canterlot to the Performer Showcases.
“Are you sure I should be here?” Athena asked as she tried to make herself look smaller. She couldn’t help but force a smile at the ponies looking curiously at her while engaged in their own conversations. Other, less tactful foals, stared, gobsmacked by her huge presence.
“Of course, Athena. Why wouldn’t you be welcome? You’re as much a Canterlotian as anyone else here, pony or not.” Fancy tisked seeing how she was bending her knees. “Now, now remember what Luna said about your posture. The flounce shouldn’t be dragging the floor,” he reminded her, pointing to the fabric on the ground.
“Why are you two so insistent about that?” she whimpered sadly.
“Because there’s nothing to be ashamed of, Athena. You’re just you. Besides, the dress flows better when standing at your full height.”
“That’s because Luna had it made that way!” she complained while pulling at her horns. “And why did they make it so revealing?”
Inspecting his taller guest, he hummed as he noticed far more fluff showing than usual. Fancy knew first-hoof that it could’ve been a lot more with the princess’ inexperience with Minoan modesty culture. While he didn’t necessarily agree with Luna’s methods, he had to admit that it was a good way to ensure their towering friend wasn’t stressing her spine all the time.
“I suppose it is a touch more open than what you normally wear,” Fancy admitted.
“A touch? She told me I couldn’t wear my undersleeves! My arms and back are… exposed,” the minotaur mumbled as she hid her face behind her matching purse.
Perhaps the restriction of sleeves was a bit much, but being a student of Luna himself, he knew she was more of a trial-by-fire kind of teacher. “Are you cold?”
Athena bit her lip. “Well, no. But it’s just that I’m—”
“Beautiful, my dear,” Fancy assured his timid friend. “You might be built a bit sturdier than most, but whether those muscles of yours are magically induced or not, you shouldn’t feel like you have to hide who you are. You don’t want to develop a hunchback, do you?”
Athena mumbled a complaint to herself, but relented. “If you say so.”
The minotaur took a calming breath and straightened up, popping the knot in her back while heaving a sigh of relief from the pressure. Athena looked down and smiled seeing her furry toes peeking out from the dress. They were wrapped in the ensemble’s beautiful, matching silver sandals. She giggled as she wiggled them freely. “Maybe this isn’t so bad.”
“See? You’re looking better already,” Fancy said, craning his neck up at his foreign friend.
Athena nodded and blushed at the compliment. Her elation was short-lived upon noticing the street light next to her that she was now eye-level with. She slowly reached her hand over her horns’ tips, swiveling her wrist back and forth freely as they rose taller than the post itself. “Oh Hades…”
“Don’t worry, Athena. I’ve escorted dragons larger than you through Canterlot before. If anypony has a problem, just take a page from their book and look threatening,” Fancy joked.
“Can we just get inside, please?” the meek minotaur begged. “They just opened the doors.”
“They have?” Fancy looked over towards the concert hall, but couldn’t tell past the mass of his fellow ponies. “See? Your good posture is already paying off. Let’s get going.”
Despite her hesitation, escorting Athena through the throng of ponies was quite easy, as it usually was when accompanying large creatures. Fancy took point to lead them through, with most ponies moving out of the way of the minotaur as she took careful steps through the colorful crowd. She shyly waved at the ponies she passed by, trying to alleviate their nerves as well as hers.
“You okay back there?” Fancy asked.
“Just trying not to trip.” Athena forced a smile as they pushed towards the entrance.
As promised, the theater had double doors for Athena to comfortably duck under as the two made their way inside. Athena was able to stand up straight, only tilting her head to avoid bonking a horn on the occasional light fixture. After grabbing a couple of programs from one of the volunteer greeters, Fancy pointed towards a larger, less-traveled staircase up to another level. The minotaur heaved a sigh of relief as the number of ponies around thinned out, allowing her to take more confident steps.
Athena stopped in her tracks as the two emerged onto the middle level overlooking the deceptive simplicity of the Rosen Aria Hall. She couldn’t help but marvel at how small she stood amid the vast forest of lumber curved above them. The hewn walls towered over them with seating wrapping around in a long, ovaloid cone tapering down towards the stage below. Rows of red velvet cushions fanned out from center stage, ensuring everypony in the gallery would have the best-sounding experience no matter their viewpoint.
“Rosen Aria was the inventor of the lyre,” Fancy explained, bringing Athena out of her quiet awe. “The architects took inspiration from the ancient unicorn’s instrument and modeled the venue out of it. It’s gone through a few changes since the ESPA took it over, including modifying the stage to pull out if they don’t need the orchestra pit, but I’m glad you seem to like it.”
“I guess I was just expecting it to be small too.”
“Not everything about us is little, despite what their majesties may call us.”
“Right. Well, I still don’t want to block anyone's view, so…” Athena looked around, spotting a gap in the seating near a wall. “I guess I’ll stand over there?”
“Not at all. We will be seated in the back over there.” Fancy pointed his horn towards a corner where the seating looked more like an ascending staircase of scaling chairs. Above all of them was a set of large sliding doors with no connected flooring.
“Just choose which seems the most comfortable to you and have a seat.”
Walking up to one of the middle chairs, she carefully lowered herself onto the cushion while maintaining the flow of her dress. She leaned back and sighed comfortably. “Wow. This is pretty nice. The armrest is way too low though. Really wide, too.”
“That’s because those aren’t armrests, Athena.” Fancy climbed the stairs behind the chairs and sat down at her side. “A good host can’t leave their company in the lurch now, can they?” For once, he sat slightly higher than his friend, though it was mostly due to the seat being designed for a perched dragon. Athena didn’t need to know that she’d walked right past the minotaur section.
“I told you they’d have plenty of room for you. They even have an elder dragon window, though it hasn’t been used in quite some time.” Fancy pointed up at a set of double sliding doors flanked by small boxed seating sections. He swept his hoof to a lavishly decorated balcony box with celestial motifs draped over them. “And over there is where the princesses will be sitting.”
Athena nodded along, but noticed a distinct lack of any royal presence. “Where is Luna anyway?”
“Athena!” As if answering a summons, the lunar princess appeared from the entryway to the balcony and galloped up to her friends. She leapt into Athena’s lap like a large dog and pulled her into a tight hug.
“Luna!” Athena returned the warm gesture. “I’m so glad to see a friendly face around here. I’ve been getting gawked at since I got here thanks to your dress!”
“This is most pleasing news!” Luna clopped her forehooves together in excitement. “Stand tall so I may see the full glory of the night on display!”
“That’s not what I meant!”
“I’d like to see this dress that my sister is so excited about as well,” said a voice as warm as a summer breeze.
Athena’s face sunk in horror as her head whipped around to see the other pony joining them. Trotting calmly towards the three friends with smooth and powerful steps was Luna’s older sister.
“Princess Celestia!” Athena shouted as she quickly stood to her feet. Luna yelped from the world turning ninety degrees as she tumbled from her friend’s lap to the floor. “Oh! Sorry!” Athena bent down and picked up Luna, righting the dizzy princess to her hooves.
The elder princess chuckled as she backed out of the way of the panicked minotaur's movements. “Mind your horns, Miss Cypriel.”
Athena went rigid, locking her arms to her side. Her eyes wandered trying to determine if eye contact was rude or not. “R-right! Sorry, your majesty.”
“Gracious me. It’s not every day I have to look up at a minotaur. I haven’t seen one as large as you for quite some time.”
“Sorry, your highness.”
“That’s nothing to apologize for. I do know a thing or two about being the biggest one in the room. Just make sure you don’t eat any more titan berry cobblers. I’d rather not have to redirect traffic around a guest if I don’t have to.” Celestia smiled, causing Athena to shoot an embarrassed glare at Luna. “I hear you’ve been helping my sister with your cooking expertise. I can’t thank you enough for being a good friend to my precious sister."
“Oh! Right. You’re welcome, your…”
Fancy leaned over and whispered into Athena’s ear. “Highness.”
“Again? But I already used that one!”
“It’s fine.”
“Your highness!” Athena parroted.
Celestia chuckled at the giant's nervous display. “Of course, Miss Cypriel. Canterlot, and all of Equestria, is better for your gift of food and friendship.” She turned her gaze towards her most capable envoy and smiled sweetly. “I hope you’re doing better yourself, Fancy Pants.”
“I’m no worse for wear, Princess. Thank you for your concern.”
Celestia nodded, not digging any further into the stallion’s mental state. Instead, she took note of the dress flowing down the front of the minotaur. “Draping your new friend in your stars, Luna? If I’m not mistaken, that’s the Path to Elysium.”
“Indeed, dear sister,” Luna bragged as she hovered next to her friend. “Standing upright, Athena is the perfect canvas to fully display the Andromaredra galaxy’s heavenly road in all of its magnificent glory.”
Celestia studied the minotaur momentarily before spreading a smile across her face. “It’s lovely Miss Cypriel. You wear it well.”
“Thank you, Princess Celestia.”
Luna threw her forelegs around her friend. “My joy is as boundless as the sky above seeing you wearing the stars so brilliantly! You look wonderful.”
Athena blushed at the over-the-top declaration. “T-thanks, Luna. But couldn’t you have made the dress less… showy?”
“What? And hide your lovely qualities behind even more needless coverings? Many a fine warrior would kill to have the strength you seem to draw shame from!” Luna said with disbelief. “I refuse to play into your needless fears!”
“Lulu, some creatures have different standards of dress.” Celestia trotted around the side of Athena, looking over the low-cut V ending at the middle of the minotaur’s rippling back. “Perhaps next time you should consult Fancy Pants before devising such a gift for your friend? You wouldn’t want to create a misunderstanding.”
Luna frowned and landed next to her sister with a huff. “My apologies for my insensitive aesthetic choices, Athena. And to you, Fancy Pants, thank you for suggesting the changes to conceal her refined abdominal musculature.”
Athena tilted her head at the wording until she pieced the princess’ meaning into a revealing midriff and flashed beet red. The modest minotaur covered her mouth and leaned over to her host to whisper “thank you”. She clasped her hands at her waist on instinct to hide the washboard under the dress.
Celestia’s eyes subtly bounced between Luna and Athena. “It is rare for my sister to share her skies with somepony else, and even rarer with someone else. To think, a thousand years ago I’d never thought I’d see the day that my sister befriended a minotaur.” She draped a wing over Luna and leaned down. “Lulu, would you like to sit with Fancy Pants and Miss Cypriel this evening?”
Luna paused, giving her older sister a quizzical look. “What?”
“I’m sure you’d rather sit with your good friends than your overbearing older sister.” Celestia ruffled Luna’s nebulous mane. “We’ll have the rest of the nights to be together.”
“Neigh! Tis the first evening of the Showcases, and I wish to showcase our united front to our little ponies.” Luna frowned and nuzzled her older sister. “We have so little time when our schedules overlap during the night; I wanted to spend it with you.”
Celestia brightened with solar warmth at her sister’s sweetness. “Of course, Lulu. I just thought Fancy Pants might need your support more than me right now.”
“If they wish to sit with us, perhaps they could join us on the balcony?”
Athena paled at the distance between the royal balcony and the floor below. “T-that’s okay. I wouldn’t want to put it to the test. I’m a little heavy.”
“And you wear it well, Athena.” Celestia looked towards the minotaur’s noble escort. “And I suppose you’d rather not leave your guest behind, Fancy Pants?”
“Perish the thought, your highness,” Fancy said with a hoof to his chest. “I’m afraid I’m spoken for tonight.”
Celestia lingered on the stallion before nodding. “Very well. If you’re sure. Then, if you will excuse us, we need to greet other attendees before enjoying the show ourselves. Even during leisurely outings, royal duties never truly rest.” Celestia bowed to Athena. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Miss Athena Cypriel. May your friendship with my sister last a lifetime.”
“We look forward to discussing the performances with the both of you after the show! We are so excited to see what our little ponies have in store for us!” Luna hovered up to Athena and gave her another firm hug. “This night shall be divine!”
Luna exchanged a bow with Fancy Pants before fluttering back down to the upper section’s entrance. Celestia’s ancient eyes lingered on the minotaur with a smile as serene as Elysium before turning away to join her sister.
“See? Nothing to worry about,” Fancy assured his large friend.
Athena slumped back down in her seat and sighed in relief at the royal’s departure. “Y-yeah.”
“Oh, come now, Athena. Princess Celestia was very welcoming and complimentary.”
“I don’t think she likes me,” Athena mumbled with a tremble as she twiddled her thumbs.
“Nonsense. You’re reading too much into it. She’s just very… protective of Luna. Princess Celestia can get rather heated when it comes to matters pertaining to her. Trust me.”
Athena nodded solemnly, but said nothing in response.
Fancy considered saying something further, but was running up against a familiar royal problem. He had been able to break the ice between her and Luna, but despite knowing Princess Celestia for far longer, she was much harder to pin down. She was the blazing sun; apparent and predictable, but blindingly so. Her movements were as plain as the day, but the intentions behind were obscured behind her brilliant light.
Meanwhile, Luna was her soft moon. A mystery to distant strangers, but honestly showing those she trusted who she was, flaws and all. You either accepted her or you didn’t, though Fancy couldn’t imagine anypony who got to know Luna would reject her. If they caught who she really was, they were safe as long as they remained on her good side.
As he watched the two royals exit, he noticed them pausing to bow to somepony coming up the stairs. Fancy leaned to get a better look and caught sight of a familiar, bespectacled gray stallion he hadn’t seen in months: Jet Set.
“I’ll be right back Athena. There’s somepony I need to speak to for a moment.”
Athena nodded and pulled out the showcase program from her purse. Fancy hopped down and followed the world traveler to a quiet, unassuming corner. Knowing the stallion, he was curious why he wasn’t making more of a show of his presence.
“Good evening, Jet Set. I’m surprised to see you here.”
The stallion raised an eyebrow, but barely broke eye contact with the reading material he was hovering in his face. “Same to you, Fancy Pants. I didn’t think you usually came to these shows.”
“Usually? Do you?”
“I try to make the most of my membership,” Jet Set stated evenly as he flashed said proof at Fancy from his wallet.
“Consider me doubly surprised. Is Upper Crust coming as well?”
“It’d be news to me if she was. She doesn’t enjoy such events unless there is something to be made from it. Though with the princesses being here, Upper Crust may kick herself later for missing out.”
“Her loss,” Fancy said with a shrug. “This is where the cutting edge of music is presented. Who knows, we might be witnessing the debut of a new musical legend tonight.”
“If you crown anyone after the show, I’ll be sure to pass the information along for her to make the proper investments. Is that why you’re here?”
“No. I’m here with a friend to see the young ponies who are benefitting from the Summers-Suede Endowment.” Fancy pointed a hoof towards the section Athena was sitting at. Jet Set leaned over, seeing the massive minotaur holding the small pamphlet carefully as she tried to read about the upcoming performances.
“You’ve always kept the strangest company, Fancy Pants,” Jet Set remarked coolly as he leaned back down.
“Seeing what the world has to offer keeps life interesting.”
“I can respect that, though I’ve always preferred to travel alone when I can.” Jet Set flipped through the program's pages and stopped when he found the listing for Fleur de Lis and Vinyl Scratch. “I try to keep my distance from troublesome matters.”
Fancy held back his annoyed frown from Jet Set’s cold shoulder. While the stallion was usually aloof, it was rarely so passive-aggressive. Fancy wanted to take the hint, but he couldn’t ignore the opportunity to potentially get Upper Crust off of Vinyl’s back.
“If you don’t mind me asking,” Fancy said, drawing a deeper frown from his present company, “why haven’t I seen you around as of late?”
Jet Set hummed to himself. “Says the Kingmaker in absentia.”
“While it is true I’ve been a bit of a recluse, I still find it odd that I didn’t see you at the Festival of Flakes nor your own Hearth’s Warming party.”
“Right. That.” Jet Set put away his reading material, deciding to have the conversation Fancy Pants wanted. “If you must know, I’ve simply been focusing more on myself recently.”
“What do you mean?”
“In a word, we’re on a break, or rather I’m on a break. With my wife finally hitting her stride in Canterlot, I’ve decided to let Upper Crust take life by the reins, as they say, without me. Far be it from me to get in the way of success.”
“But you’re no stranger to success yourself, Jet Set.”
The stallion laughed haughtily. It rang with a grating high-society smarm far too similar to his wife’s. “Sereni-Tea might be the family business, but I’ve never had a mind for such things. The curse of the wrong cutie mark, I suppose.”
“I wouldn’t sell yourself so short. Why, it wasn’t long ago at all that you sponsored one of the Canterlot Garden Parties with Upper Crust.”
“That feels like a lifetime ago now. Also, unlike you, I don’t recall the event very fondly. That countryside dressmaker showed her true pastoral colors that night with her friends. Made a mess of things just as they did at the Gala. Sister was furious,” Jet Set complained as he turned his nose up at the memory.
“May I remind you that those six countryside ponies are also close friends of the princesses?”
“The political angle doesn’t concern me. I only bother with the results that affect me financially. I’d rather live off my legacy than risk losing it like you do.”
Fancy tilted his head. “I don’t quite follow.”
“Please, Fancy Pants. I’ve known since I was a colt that Sereni-Tea would have me set for life regardless of what I did. It’s just fortunate that my parents had the foresight to have a second foal who bore a more useful talent than me in the end. It made my life all the easier.”
Despite not agreeing with the underlying sentiment, Fancy nodded along. Ruby Rosette was a powerhouse of the finery world. She’d always been a safe investment, continuing the legacy of the Sereni-Tea brand with her eye for design. Her Floral Rosary line had been a hit among tea aficionados, especially with Princess Celestia's love of Rose Congou. Fancy was fairly certain it was Sereni-Tea porcelain they used at their weekly high teas.
“Frankly, I’m surprised you’ve been trying as hard as you have,” Jet Set added.
“I suppose I could’ve coasted through life on my family’s earnings, but I wanted to be a good steward of my parents' wealth.” The old, familiar guilt slumped in Fancy’s stomach. “It’s the least I could do after what I put them through growing up.”
“And to think I was jealous of you once. The Fancy Pants from back then was quite the wild stallion. To see how you ultimately turned out…” Jet Set trailed with a shrug. “I suppose with your Kingmaker mark, it was a much easier path to go down than mine would’ve been. My mark is pretty useless in the grand scheme of things.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” Fancy said as he began considering various paths the wanderlusting stallion could go down. “You do know how to plan a good resort vacation. Why not open up a travel agency or write a column about your trips?”
Jet Set scoffed at the very notion. “Unless you intend to crown me ‘King of Vacations,’ I think I’ll do what I’ve always done and relax when I want to get away from it all. I’m not exactly interested in sharing my secrets.”
“Sounds rather unsustainable if you ask me.”
“Special talent, remember?” Jet Set bragged with a winning smile. “I know how to relax without spending more than I have coming in. And in the event that I am called upon to actually do something with Sereni-Tea, I have a great insurance policy in Upper Crust.”
“Upper Crust would have the business savvy to help you if necessary, I suppose.”
Jet Set laughed harder than before as he shook his head. “No, you misunderstand. Upper Crust is the insurance policy.”
Fancy grimaced at the pride Jet Set held for the notion.
“Oh, please. Why do you think I married a commoner like her in the first place? Sure she’s beautiful, but more importantly, she’s driven. I’m next in line for the family business if something ever happens to Ruby. I’d rather pass the responsibility off to somepony that knows what to do with it than deal with something so troublesome.”
“So you asked her to marry you for such a shallow reason?”
“Not at all. It was her idea in the first place." Jet Set laughed smugly once more, driving Fancy’s magic into his pocket. "She gets access to Teaset family connections and a noble, and I get to live the carefree lifestyle I’m used to. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement. My old noble titles are only worth as much as they can support me, but a mare like her can make use of them.”
Fancy’s stomach churned as he reached for his crystal to calm himself down. “Doesn’t such a life feel empty in a way?”
“I’m a simple stallion with simple needs. I don’t need more than that.”
“You never know until you’ve tried. Perhaps you’d enjoy a challenge or two.”
Jet Set shot a sharp glare at his company. “Spare me the clichés. Some of us found out about our limits the hard way.” Jet Set’s glower diminished as he sighed to himself. “Tell me, Fancy Pants. Have you ever had children?”
“Most eligible bachelor in Canterlot, remember?”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, such things have never stopped nature taking its course.” Jet Set smirked knowingly. “Recalling that wild stallion back when me and Upper Crust had just gotten married, I thought perhaps there’s more to Fleur than we thought.”
“While I’d welcome the idea, I assure you she’s not.” Fancy sighed, thinking about that dark time in his life that always came back to bite him. “If you can believe it, I was too proud for such intimacy when I was younger. Nopony was good enough for me. I was both wild and wildly immature.”
“Myopically misogynistic in a mare’s world?” Jet Set cackled once more. The stallion’s voided laugh caused Fancy to reactively clutch the quartz in his coat. “If only I had been so foolish.”
“You say that like you have foals.” Fancy tried to recall any signs of a child at their mansion from the Hearth’s Warming Eve party, but he couldn’t recall even seeing a family photo with the mystery foal.
The proud stallion’s laughter died as he sunk into his seat. “‘Had’ would be the operative word. Glitterati didn’t make it much past her cute-ceañera.”
“Oh. I’m so—”
“Don’t.” Jet Set took a deep breath as he looked down at his hooves. “I was never good father material. Life taught me that in one of the worst ways possible. We’ve tried—Well, I’ve tried my best to forget about the girl. I thought we were both in agreement after what happened, but Upper Crust thinks differently now. Thanks for that, by the way.”
Fancy frowned. “What did I do?”
“The wife has been riding so high on the Empire deal you invested in, and now she wants to have another. ‘An heir born from both noble legacy and new wealth’ is how I believe she pitched it.” The stallion reached under the sweater draped over his back into a hidden saddlebag and produced a flask. He downed some of its dulling contents before hiding it again. “I decided to do what I do best and take a vacation to let the heat die down.”
And with that realization, Fancy sighed. Negotiations had ended before he’d even gotten them off the ground. “Then I suppose you wouldn’t be willing to hear out a request from me?”
Jet Set’s face hardened. “I thought you reeked of a certain desperation. If it is in regards to what I think it is, then absolutely not. I’m not about to get in the middle of those two after hearing about the Vinyl Screech for months. I’d advise you to do the same and leave well enough alone.”
“Please, Jet Set. She’s holding a needless grudge that's ruining Vinyl’s life.”
“Yes. I believe that is the point.”
“And you’re just okay with that?” Fancy shouted to Jet Set's surprise.
“As I said, I prefer to avoid troublesome situations. It doesn’t make me a good stallion or a good husband. Some days I love Upper Crust. Others I don’t. Either way, it’s a mutually beneficial relationship for the both of us at the moment. Only time will tell if the costs will outweigh them for me.”
“And what about her needs?” Fancy added.
“If Upper Crust wants a foal, there are plenty of ways to get one without my involvement,” Jet Set callously remarked. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d appreciate it if you never mentioned seeing me here. Last thing I expected was for somepony that actually mattered coming all the way back here with a minotaur of all creatures.”
With that, Jet Set flapped open the program and engrossed himself in reading it, silently signaling that the Kingmaker had long overstayed his welcome. Fancy Pants sighed and trotted back to his seat with the burden of another failure to negotiate weighing upon his withers. At this rate, he was starting to wonder if he’d imagined his entire ambassadorial career. He climbed back up to his seat next to his guest for the evening, rubbing the crystal in his coat pocket to calm him down.
“Welcome back! How was your friend?” Athena asked as she lowered the program.
“Better than expected,” he dodged with his reply. He withdrew his own program with his hooves rather than his magic.
Athena furrowed her brow, seeing the unicorn’s lack of levitation. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes. Just kicking myself a little after seeing that my ‘friend’ thought to sneak a flask in here,” he answered diplomatically.
“Fancy…” the stubborn minotaur said with rising suspicion, “you keep talking like that and I’m going to ban you from my bar.”
Fancy chuckled politely. “I’m glad that not all of my investments haven’t soured on me, Athena. I’ll take your caring soul over your distilled spirits any day. Now, let’s see what the ESPA has in store for us tonight.”